And in we go. Boom! Boom! And this goes like that.
Okay, catch ya later. See ya around.
- Can I have a dream? - A dream? Absolutely not.
- It's too late, buddy. - Please! Please, please, please...
Nope. There's nothing I can do, I'm off the clock. Get a union guy.
Alright, alright, big sulk.
I'll give you a dream. Here we go. Ready?
Yeah.
Um...
so it's a full moon,
and a gang of vampires...
are stalking throughout the graveyard,
and all you have is a little wooden stake.
It's gonna be super dangerous.
It's gonna be super scary.
But not, like, so scary that you come and you wake up Mom and Dad.
And you're gonna be surrounded
by sexy ladies.
- You ready? - Yeah.
Tell me how it is.
Go on.
Oscar, your father and I have something to tell you.
"Your father"? No. Don't say your father. Your father has nothing...
- You said we could do it now. - Yeah, I said give him the hamster now.
Don't tell him that and then take it away from him. Your mother's leaving us.
Peter, don't confuse him. We need to be honest.
What? I'm being more honest with him than you are.
Skeet, I'm not leaving you!
It's okay. It's okay.
- What's wrong? - I'm scared.
- What're you scared of? - They are so loud.
I don't want to have to move.
What're you doing?
Sometimes, when I feel threatened,
I gather comfort food and store it in my cheek pouches.
This way, no matter where I wake up, I don't have to go out and find food.
It's already there. Already in my mouth.
Are you okay?
I'm scared too.
Would you like a pellet?
How about some company?
Skeet, let go.
Please?
Just...
I'm not leaving you, okay? You'll be with me every second week.
I'm sorry.
Hey. Hey, hey, come here.
Come here. Look, look, it's okay. It's okay. We're going to be good.
- What's your name? - Um... how about... Buffy?
Where are you taking me?
It's totally true. I swear to God.
- Hey, buddy, what's that on your nails? - Anna.
- What? - Oh, my God, see?
- Leave him alone. - What?
Well, when boys check their nails, they're supposed to hold their hand in a claw,
like this. But if you check your nails from behind
it means you're probably gonna grow up to be gay.
- Jesus, Anna! - What? It's not a big deal.
- Give it back! - What do you got there, buddy?
- Boys, he's got a diary! - Look, Buffy. I think he needs our help.
- Leave me alone! - Where are you going?
- Leave me alone! - We want to talk to you!
- Just be cool, alright? - Fuck...
Fuck you!
Back off!
Don't touch me, I will fucking hurt you.
Stop it!
Harder, harder!
He's crying.
Do something. Help him.
Come on, let's go! Let's go!
Cloudy and wet drizzle all the way across the island...
Nothing too surprising there.
A 16-year-old student has been violently assaulted
behind Bishop Fleming School.
RCMP are reporting that the hate-crime victim is paralyzed from the waist down.
Police are asking anyone with more information to please contact Crime Stoppers.
- I'm Lisa Wiseman, reporting for... - Why did they do that to him?
Hmm? Do what?
Put a metal rod up his bum.
What? Jesus! Where did you hear that?
Uh...
Well, he's gay.
That's why I keep telling ya, you gotta get rid of this hair, buddy.
You can do it, buddy!
Don't be a wimp.
Hey, are you gonna finish this or what?
If we don't make it to fourth period I'm not going at all.
Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for asking.
How many more of these do I have to do? - Just one more.
Oh, thank God! If I have to wash any more glycerin out of my bra,
you're the one that's going to be cleaning it.
Almost done. Just have to set it.
Close your eyes.
- You too. - Don't tell me what to do!
Big breath!
Mm.
It's good. Just let me get my camera, then we should go.
Oh, yeah, right. I'm not the only one going to school looking like this.
Embarrassing number of unsolicited nude photos
sent between students at our school.
We understand that adolescence is a very fertile time,
so today we're going to discuss some traditional methods of showing affection.
And back... head back a little bit more? There we go.
Yeah, that's good. Play with your hair.
- Like that? - But...
- a little more sexy. - What? A little more sexy?
- A little... - Okay, I'm trying! Jesus. Okay.
- Should I lose a button? - No, no, no.
- I think we got it. - Oh, yeah? Can I see?
Mm-hmm. So hot.
Oh... I'm such a slut. Ah!
Oh, I almost forgot, I found us a shithole apartment in Brooklyn
- that's almost in our price range. - Mm-hmm.
- Oh, that's... that's awesome. - Yeah.
- Is that a garbage chute? - Oh, no... that's a bedroom.
Okay. Weird.
Sorry, I don't know why...
- I know we're like... - No, it's okay. I'm...
Here, uh... come on over and I can take those off.
- Peter! - Oh, hey, Gem, I didn't see you there.
Customers are confused, disoriented,
weak-willed, so all you have to say is,
"That's a nice one." Just say it with me.
That's a nice one.
Do one by yourself.
- That's a nice one. - Yeah. You're gonna have to work on that.
Okay. So, the second one is a little bit trickier.
Whatever it is they're holding, observe the merchandise
and then try to find some kind of positive statement to say about it,
like, "That looks like a very cooling fan," or...
"That'll really compliment your crown mouldings."
- Get it? - Yeah, I think I get it.
Good. Okay, let's have a go.
That's a nice one.
It has really good... um, pressure.
What's the difference between the two?
That's... a nice one.
Fuck...
Hey, can I borrow your shirt? I forgot mine.
It might be kind of sweaty now.
Do you perspire a lot?
Not a lot, I mean, I've just been moving boxes all day, so probably more than...
That's alright. I've worn much worse.
Yeah. Go ahead.
Thanks.
- I'm Oscar. - Me too.
Ooh, don't look down, don't look down, don't look down,
don't look down, don't look down.
Oscar, listen, I know what happened last time, but I really think
it would be a good idea for me to give the traveling plastic ball another shot.
What is that?
- What is what? - There is something different about you.
Nothing different about me.
Oh, it's, um, an energy thing. You look, um... happier.
- I am not happy. - Oh, my God, Oscar! You are in love!
- You've been watching too many soap operas! - Who is it and when can I meet them?
I'm not in love, you're insane.
You can't lie to me, Oscar. I'm your spirit animal.
What are you doing? What are you... Oh!
Hey. Um...
- So... - Oh, amazing, thank you!
I mean, I don't know... I can do whatever you want, I didn't know...
No, no, this is perfect for my final shoot with Gemma.
Yeah? When does your dear old dad get to take a look-see?
Not yet, I have to finish the branding for the application first.
Okay, alright. Don't poke your eye out.
Hey! Clean that cage!
Oh, Oscar, can you do me a favor?
Depends...
Could you please build me one of these elevators for my cage?
- Are you trying to escape too? - The fear factor excites me.
Mm-hmm.
- Stop! What are you doing? - I'm cleaning your cage.
I can clean it myself. I'm not a child.
Okay, your highness.
Did you remember your camera?
Okay, good. Oh, can you do my headshot before you cover me in goo?
- I wanna look somewhat presentable. - You can try.
So who's Yves Saint Laurent over there?
Oh, he's, um, some guy from work, I think his name's Wilder.
- Heard he moved here for the summer. - Oh, figures.
Couldn't be from around here with that jawline. What's his background?
How am I supposed to know? I don't know anything about him.
Thanks for the shirt.
Hi.
Uh... he had to borrow my shirt.
Oh.
- Just turn a little... - Like this? Yeah. That?
- You're slaying a sea monster. - I hate you!
A sea monster is going to jump out of that water and you have to kill it!
- Out of that water? - That's your motivation.
- Ready? - Like that?
Yes, perfect.
So is he into you?
I don't think so.
I don't know, there was something about the way that he was looking at you.
- He was wearing sunglasses. - You know, you should try being more aloof.
I feel like you're always just a little bit too eager when you first meet someone.
- It's kind of a turn off. - Fuck you.
Just trying to help.
Oh, yeah, camera loves you.
- Thanks for doing this. - Just don't forget me when you're famous.
So when do you find out about New York?
Uh, sometime in the next couple of months I guess?
Okay, good, because my dad just put down first and last month's rent
on that flea-bag Brooklyn apartment last night, and the garbage chute is yours
- if you want it. - Fuck you! No way, that's awesome!
Roommates. Wow.
Do you think you're going to be able to stop yourself from making out with me?
Fuck you!
No! No! No! No more! No more!
No more. No more.
Okay, one more.
What did you get on your last math test?
- 100? - But it was just a multiplication test.
- Wow! - That should go on the fridge.
For sure. I don't think I ever got 100 on a math test.
I'm 18. I don't need to be tucked in.
I wasn't gonna ask, but, um...
This may seem a bit weird, do you remember that fur hat
- I used to wear when you were a kid? - Nope.
Well, your father says he can't find it but I know it's there.
It would mean a lot to have it back. It was Nan's.
I'm sorry. Never mind.
Good night, Skeet.
Later, klepto.
There we go.
Ugh.
Jesus Christ!
Come here. Come here, you little fucker.
Okay.
Mm.
Hey...
- I want you. - Your charming, lovable...
- ...handsome father is... - What?
- ...waiting for you at the front of the store. - I think someone wants you.
Oscar Madly, please come to the front of the store. Oscar Madly.
Oh, my God.
Oscar! Oscar!
Have you seen Oscar? There he is. Let's go, let's go!
- What do you want? - I've been waiting outside for half an hour!
- I told you I was off at 8:00. - I can't pick you up at 8:00. I have a date.
How was I supposed to know that?
Because we talked about it. I told you last night.
No, you didn't.
- You're gonna find your own way home. - Fine.
- Honey, can you pass me the... - What the...
Oh, my God! Oscar. Sorry.
I thought, uh... I kind of thought your walk home would take a little bit longer.
- Do you mind? - Oh, um... this is your new mom.
- It's not. I'm joking. This is Christine. - Hi, honey.
Excuse me, I didn't know you were having a rave.
What'd he see?
Is your, uh, your mom still dating that queer?
Larry? Yeah, they're engaged.
I know stuff about him that'd make your hair curl.
- He's a nice guy. - Mm... I bet he's super nice.
Hey, I'm sorry you two met like that.
Christine here, she's even sweeter with her clothes on.
I feel so bad. That must have been quite the sight!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- You gotta try these, man. Come on. - No thanks.
Hmm? No. She made them.
- It's okay. They're a bit overdone anyway. - I'm just not hungry.
Hey, stop being rude. Didn't you learn any manners?
Am I embarrassing you?
Are you embarrassing me? No.
But, uh, you're embarrassing yourself a little bit.
How long can you keep this act up?
How long before you show up at her work
screaming at the top of your lungs like a fucking child?
- I should go. - I'm sorry. It's just a little bit sad.
Let me save you some time.
He's possessive, has the temper of a child and is bat shit crazy.
There he is.
Wow, where did that come from?
So fucking pathetic.
I can't believe we share the same genes.
Well, you know, I was born in a factory farm
to an overweight rodent who tried to eat me.
It doesn't mean my life can't be different.
Oscar?
I'm really sorry.
I had a really hard week, okay?
I didn't mean to take it out on you.
What are you gonna do with all mom's junk in my closet?
Huh? What? What are you talking about?
Why don't you just give it back to her? There's no room for any of my shit.
Well, because it actually doesn't belong to her.
See, when a couple gets divorced, they have to split everything.
Possessions and assets and... you know, kids, equally.
She took her half. So technically, like... Technically, those clothes are mine.
It's very complicated. You'll understand when you get divorced someday.
So what are you going to do with them?
Nothing.
Okay.
Oh! Uh, excuse me?
Sorry.
What do you want?
Uh, we're looking for front doors for our new house.
We just got married.
How long are you looking for it to last?
Uh... forever?
Oh, no, none of these are built to last that long. Locks break down.
Some wear and tear on the hinges. I'd give that one six, seven years, tops.
Okay. Thanks.
Well, that's a nice one.
Oh, thank God! It smells awful in here.
We need to get you some deodorant.
Wait, what are you doing? Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't! Argh! No!
Let me out! Let me out! Let me out! I can't breathe. Let me out! Let me out!
Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!
Hey, how much for a blow job?
So, who's your hostage?
- It's my hamster. - Really?
I thought hamsters were only for fat girls and Asian kids.
Um... I spent the weekend at my mom's,
so I'm just, uh, bringing all my stuff to my dad's place.
Yeah, my parents are divorced too.
Uh, what's the word? Empathy.
Thanks.
- Oh, shit! - What is it?
- Oh, fuck! No, no, no! Don't brake! - Why not?
No, no, no, she might be under the brake pedal. Can you check?
- She's not there. - Watch out!
Oh, my God. It's not funny.
It is. I'm sorry.
Shh... What is that?
No, no, turn it up.
No way...
That little fucker got behind the radio!
- How do we get her out? - Fuck.
- No, don't open the door! - Why not?
She' going to jump out and get hit by a car!
She's a hamster, not a fucking gazelle.
Is now really the best time for that? She's going to electrocute herself!
- What the fuck are you doing? - Smoking her out. Get ready to catch...
Are you kidding? You're gonna kill her with second-hand smoke!
Come on, man. That's an old wives tale. Get ready.
This is the worst idea I've ever heard. This is so fucking stupid.
Still nothing?
Got her!
Alright!
Told ya.
- Thanks for the ride. - Alright. You need some help?
No, it's okay. Dad's not home yet. I don't even have a key anyway.
You don't have a key to your own house? What are you, six?
Yeah, my dad's afraid that my mom's going to steal it, sneak in and rob him.
Right. So what are you gonna do?
I'll probably just hang out in my tree house.
No way. You have a tree house? I need to see this.
I don't know.
Yo, this is insane, man.
- So you made this? - With my dad, yeah.
- Let's climb it! - I don't know...
Fuck.
Here.
Thanks.
Hey.
- What's his name? - Buffy. She's a girl.
Uh, I hate to break the news, but this is totally a boy hamster.
He got balls, check it.
I would've thought you'd seen enough balls by now to tell the difference.
Just kidding.
Um...
Here, give her to me.
It's him.
This place is wild, man. What do you do up here?
Um... mostly just come up here to get away from the house.
- So what are these for? - It's my, uh, college application.
Yeah? Where are you applying?
Um, there's this awesome cinema makeup program in New York.
Oh, nice! So come on, man, show me more of your stuff.
Okay, it's... it's a little weird.
They're cool.
Anyway, I should probably get going.
Oh... Sorry.
You okay?
I'm fine.
Thank you. Although I think I'm going through a bit of a gender jam.
Whoa! Watch it, man!
Oh, I'm sorry, man! I thought you were my son's girlfriend.
His girlfriend?
Whoa, watch it! Fuck, man!
Hey.
How was work?
Riveting.
How did you get home?
I walked.
With the hamster?
Yep. With the hamster.
Okay.
- Is that a whale? - Where?
Right there.
That's called a bad photo. Let me take that.
- That one? - Mm-hmm. okay, keep going.
- Mm... - No!
Not very flattering.
- That one's not bad. - No. Definitely not.
- No? - Actually, go back. Right?
- Yeah. Yeah. - Okay, just let me clean it up.
What? What did you do? That does not look like me at all.
- I just cleaned up your face. - No. It's so weird!
You look great.
I don't want to sell myself as something I'm not. Change it back.
Everyone uses Photoshop to make themselves look better.
But nobody's going to hire me if I send in that photo
and then show up to an audition looking like me.
You'd be lucky to have them bring you in in the first place.
Excuse me?
It's New York. There's always gonna be a thousand girls prettier than you.
I'm just giving you a fighting chance.
Fuck you!
Gemma. Let me just print these off.
No, I'll get them later. I have rehearsal.
Hey! Hey, Gem!
You wanna come over for dinner tonight? I'm making chicken and waffles.
- Sounds delish, but can't. - So... um...
How're things going with you and Oscar?
We're... fine.
I see, Sorry, I'm just, um...
I was wondering...
you know.
If we're together?
Is that what he told you?
No, of course not.
So, is he...
Is this really happening right now?
Your bag's melting.
Just visualize this is going to this hand.
I can do it just by thinking about it. Like this...
Here it is.
Oscar, can I see you in my office please?
- Sure, I'll just finish up here. - It's okay, just leave it.
Things have been pretty slow here lately, so I'm going to have to let some people go.
And frankly,
you are without a doubt my most incompetent employee.
I mean, you don't even fit in, because you know what you want,
and it's not here.
Oh, I can't bring myself to fire you,
because I mean, really, you are a good kid,
so I'm gonna leave it up to you.
If you wanna stay,
be my guest,
but if you think you can find what you're looking for,
I would suggest that you stop wasting your time here.
I think I'm really high.
Okay then. Good. I think that was good. I think we...
- Okay. - Yeah, excellent.
Fuck, man. I can't believe she fired you, too.
- She didn't, I quit. - Really? What'd she say?
She said I didn't belong here.
Wow, that's good for you.
What are you doing tonight?
Um, probably just working on one of my models.
Oh, fuck that, I'm taking off to Berlin tomorrow and my roommate's having a party.
- You're leaving? - Yeah. I'm just gonna visit
- my cousin for a few months. - Oh. Awesome.
- Well, you should come. - To Berlin?
No. To the party.
And you gotta bring a costume, 'cause it's a Friday the 13th Monster Mash or some shit.
Anyway, you gotta dress up. See ya.
Hey.
You know, you got mail.
Oscar! What's wrong?
What are you doing? Talk to me!
- Are you okay? You're scaring me! - Can you just shut up? I'm fine!
What do you think?
I'm sorry, I didn't... I didn't mean it.
What are you doing?
Going to a costume party.
Well, those clothes don't belong to you, so...
They don't belong to you, either.
That's $50 deducted from your... from your education savings
for trying to steal from me.
You're pathetic.
You're not going to no faggot costume party either.
Hey, man. That's your costume? I thought this was your thing.
- This was all I had. - Don't worry about it.
Yo, Brigitte!
Oscar needs a costume.
Yeah, no problem, asshole.
Come on.
How much do you think it would cost for a flight to Berlin?
Why? Do I look like a travel agent?
Wilder just bought a ticket so I thought you might know.
Is that what he told you?
He's not going to Europe. He's driving back to Montreal to live with his parents.
Oh.
Thank you.
Want to give me a hand with this?
Wilder! This party's so fun! There's so many cool people here!
Oh, my God, I can't believe how dorky I sound. I'm such an idiot!
I'm glad someone's having fun, man.
You're so nice. That must be why you have so many friends.
Actually, I have no idea who most of these assholes are.
Yeah, that's so cool.
Stay right here.
Wilder!
What's that on your nails?
Where?
It's gone.
Alright.
- This is your wingman for the night. - Thanks.
Hey, Wilder!
Oh, can you hold on?
What are you doing here?
Same as you.
So, you didn't happen to tell Peter that we were dating, did you?
- Because he seemed to think that we... - Why would I ever say that?
What's with you?
Your pupils are huge. Are you high?
I gotta go find someone. I'll talk to you soon.
You look like shit.
Thanks.
I'm Andrew.
Hi.
I'm sorry. I'm here with someone.
Who?
I don't think he'll mind.
Hey!
Hey, man. Hey, man. Wake up.
Better out than in. Here you go. Drink a bit.
You okay?
Mm-hmm.
- Let's get you home. - No, I can't. I can't go home.
Well, this place just got busted, so you can't stay here either.
Come on.
You should take that off.
What are you thinking about?
Thinking about how...
I had to kick my dad into a closet to go to that party tonight.
If you don't hate your parents you'll eventually become them.
Please, don't kiss me. I just had the worst day of my life
and my mouth tastes like vomit and...
I don't want to ruin this.
I was just grabbing some water.
How long have you been out?
I'm too embarrassed to talk right now. Can you just leave?
Come on, don't be like that. This doesn't have to be awkward.
It's too late for that.
Seriously, since when have you known?
I don't.
What do you mean?
I don't know.
Have you ever kissed a guy?
I've done some stuff, but...
But have you kissed?
- Do you want to? - What?
Do you want to know?
I don't know how to answer that.
If I, a fellow dude, kiss you
and you feel something moving around in your stomach,
then maybe you'll know.
If not, then...
My stomach feels like it's on fire.
So... did you feel anything?
I don't know.
I certainly felt something.
Jesus, Oscar! What are you doing?
Sorry to impose.
- Oh, shit. - What's going on, Skeet?
Oscar?
Am I a bad person?
What are you talking about?
I don't understand why I feel so alone.
- You're never alone, Oscar. - That's rich, coming from you.
- What do you mean? - You gave up
and abandoned me and now I'm all fucked up.
- That's not fair. - You have a new life.
A new family.
I have nothing. Literally, nothing.
I'm so sorry... Oscar.
I wish...
I could have been there for you. I made some really hard choices.
But I was dying in that house. You know that more than anyone.
You know...
when you were born...
you came out with the umbilical cord wrapped around your neck three times.
You almost hung yourself. I was so scared.
That's disgusting.
My point is...
you've never had it easy...
and maybe you never will.
If you are forced to walk through shit then you might as well grow a thick skin.
Thanks for all the imagery.
Skeet, you smell awful.
Why do I always crave pancakes when every time I eat them, they make me feel like shit?
Most things are like that as you get older.
Your father's going to be worried about you, you know.
No, he's not.
- I have to go to Peter's. - Oscar, shouldn't you eat first?
Where's Buffy?
I'm going to live with Mom.
- I'm really sorry. - Don't.
Do you have any idea why everyone you love leaves you?
Oscar, get in the car. Oscar, get in the car.
- What is wrong with you, Peter? Huh? - It was an accident.
It was an accident? How's this a fucking accident?
- Get the fuck off my land! This is my house! - He's a kid! He's a kid!
You killed a fucking hamster? He's a child, Peter!
I'm going to call the cops and tell them that a fucking whore is on my lawn,
and they're going to cart you away. You left! You left!
- Yes, I left! - You left! So leave!
- How could anyone stay with you? - You left!
Go back to your fucking queer husband and your fucking life!
- I'm his dad. Where are you? - This is how you take care of him?
- You left us both, so leave! So leave! - This is how you take care of him? Look at him!
- He's a child. He's just a boy! - He's my child!
You may be his dad, but you will never be his fucking father.
Yeah.
Hey!
I don't want that sweaty face cloth dripping all over my new sheets.
Who let the Brady Bunch into my room?
Be nice. Larry and the kids have been looking after you all day.
Okay, guys, let's go get Oscar something to eat.
You have a fever because you've been completely burning up.
I'm never going to get out of here, am I?
What are you talking about?
I got rejected from Joe Blasco and I never applied anywhere else
because I am a stubborn idiot.
I'm so sorry.
There's always the makeup diploma here at Memorial.
It's not even about the school, I just need to get out of here.
What about Fogo?
Community college?
It's not a community college, it's an artist residence.
It's not New York, but...
at least you'd be getting away from your crazy parents.
Just think about it. Okay?
Mom?
What happened to my stuff?
Whatever was in the driveway, I threw in the back seat of the car.
And Buffy?
So it's official...
I'm an asshole.
That explains the new bike, then.
So...
It's not New York, but what do you think?
I think you look happy.
I hope you don't get eaten by a seagull.
I'm just happy you're not gonna set me on fire.
But you know I'm not the original hamster from your childhood, right?
I mean, it has been 10 years. Your parents replaced me, like, 4 times.
What was that?
Oh, nothing. Goodbye.
Can I have a dream, Dad?
Come on, you're too old for that now.
It's time for you to start making your own dreams.
You can have anything you want in this world.
Just close your eyes.
I love you, son. I'm so, so proud of you.