1
00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:24,894
<i>Make sure
I'’m in the frame.</i>

2
00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:26,852
<i>Make sure you get my head.
I want to see my hair.</i>

3
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,767
<i>All right, all right.</i> <i>Janis, hurry up!</i>

4
00:00:28,941 --> 00:00:30,247
<i>It'’s not easy
making a movie.</i>

5
00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:31,553
<i>You better not
drop my phone.</i>

6
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:33,555
You got it?

7
00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:35,513
- Yep. Yep. Yep.
- Okay, here we go.

8
00:00:35,687 --> 00:00:37,298
Hey... Oh, Lord. Shit.

9
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:39,430
<i>We'’re Cloverfielding.
Pick it up.</i>

10
00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:41,563
Give me a minute. Make sure
I'’m in the frame, girl.

11
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:44,609
- Give me a minute!
- Am I in the frame?

12
00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:45,958
I'’m in there? Yes.

13
00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:47,264
<i>Get me in the frame? Yeah.</i>

14
00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:48,483
<i>You got my head in there? Yeah.</i>

15
00:00:48,657 --> 00:00:50,833
Boom, let'’s go.

16
00:00:51,007 --> 00:00:53,183
<i>♪ It'’s a cautionary tale ♪</i>

17
00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:55,185
<i>♪ Of fear and lust and pride ♪</i>

18
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:59,407
<i>♪ Based on actual events
Where people died ♪</i>

19
00:00:59,581 --> 00:01:00,843
No one died.

20
00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:02,062
<i>♪ But how far
Would you go ♪</i>

21
00:01:02,236 --> 00:01:04,542
<i>♪ To be popular and hot? ♪</i>

22
00:01:04,716 --> 00:01:07,197
<i>♪ Would you resist temptation? ♪</i>

23
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:08,677
<i>♪ No, you would not! ♪</i>

24
00:01:08,851 --> 00:01:10,679
<i>♪ Just admit it sometimes ♪</i>

25
00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:15,597
<i>♪ Mean is what you are
Mean is easier than nice ♪</i>

26
00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:18,600
<i>♪ And though mean
Can take you far ♪</i>

27
00:01:18,774 --> 00:01:21,907
<i>♪ Maybe this will
Make you think twice ♪</i>

28
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,953
Spin. Clicker. Fosse!

29
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:27,522
<i>♪ This is a cautionary tale ♪</i>

30
00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:30,960
<i>♪ About corruption
And betrayal ♪</i>

31
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:33,484
<i>♪ And getting hit by a bus! ♪</i>

32
00:01:33,658 --> 00:01:36,661
<i>♪ You can'’t buy integrity ♪</i>

33
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:41,666
<i>♪ At the mall
It'’s not for sale ♪</i>

34
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:42,885
Truth.

35
00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:46,584
<i>♪ This is a cautionary ♪</i>

36
00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:52,851
<i>♪ Tale! ♪</i>

37
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,609
<i>♪ I used
To think I would spend ♪</i>

38
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:14,438
<i>♪ Every second I have ♪</i>

39
00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:17,876
<i>♪ Right where my story began ♪</i>

40
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:21,750
<i>♪ I'’d be happy here ♪</i>

41
00:02:21,924 --> 00:02:24,622
<i>♪ Every day, month
Year of my life ♪</i>

42
00:02:24,796 --> 00:02:28,757
<i>♪ But now I'’m wishing
For whatever comes
After goodbye ♪</i>

43
00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:32,543
<i>♪ On every star in the sky ♪</i>

44
00:02:34,806 --> 00:02:38,984
<i>♪ And I'’m dreaming of
What I could become ♪</i>

45
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:42,249
<i>♪ This is where home will be ♪</i>

46
00:02:42,423 --> 00:02:45,817
<i>♪ As long as my lungs
Can breathe ♪</i>

47
00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:49,647
<i>♪ But my heart is dyin'’
To leave ♪</i>

48
00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:52,346
<i>♪ '’Cause I know there'’s more
To me ♪</i>

49
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,609
<i>♪ I don'’t want to live with
What ifs...♪</i>

50
00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:56,088
Cady?

51
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,003
I'’ve been thinking
about what you said.

52
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,876
About being frustrated
by my decision

53
00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:02,486
and feeling
a little stuck here,

54
00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:03,748
just me and you.

55
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:05,097
I'’m sorry I yelled.

56
00:03:05,272 --> 00:03:07,317
But you have a point.

57
00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:08,710
Maybe I'’ve been
a little selfish,

58
00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:10,320
putting my research ahead

59
00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:12,366
of your social
and emotional development.

60
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,368
I called the people
from Northwestern back.

61
00:03:14,542 --> 00:03:15,717
I took the job.

62
00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:17,849
What?

63
00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:19,764
But they need me
to start on September 9th.

64
00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:23,333
<i>♪ I don'’t want to live
With what ifs, might haves ♪</i>

65
00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:26,989
<i>♪ Could have been if I had ♪</i> Cady?

66
00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:31,472
<i>♪ Only tried, not held back
Oh, no ♪</i>

67
00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:33,648
<i>♪ That'’s not a part of my plan ♪</i>

68
00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:36,955
<i>♪ That'’s not the me that I
That'’s not the me that I am ♪</i>

69
00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:39,523
<i>♪ This time
There'’s no lookin'’ back ♪</i>

70
00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:44,485
<i>♪ I'’m crossing things
Off my list ♪</i>

71
00:03:44,659 --> 00:03:48,228
<i>♪ Don'’t want to run out of time
Before I wake up and find ♪</i>

72
00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:50,621
<i>♪ There was a life
That I missed ♪</i>

73
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,451
<i>♪ My limit doesn'’t exist ♪</i>

74
00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:06,071
I'’ll pick you up at 3:00.

75
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:16,125
<i>♪ I don'’t want to live
With what ifs, might haves ♪</i>

76
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:19,868
<i>♪ Could have been if I had ♪</i>

77
00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:24,176
<i>♪ Only tried, not held back
Oh, no ♪</i>

78
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:27,310
<i>♪ That'’s not a part of my plan
That'’s not the me that I am ♪</i>

79
00:04:27,484 --> 00:04:30,574
<i>♪ No what ifs, regrets ♪</i>

80
00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:34,230
<i>♪ Wear my strengths
And weakness ♪</i>

81
00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:38,713
<i>♪ I won'’t hide my feelings
Oh, no ♪</i>

82
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:41,629
<i>♪ That'’s not a part of my plan
That'’s not the...♪</i>

83
00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:43,587
Bitch, move.

84
00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:54,555
Hope you all
had a good summer.

85
00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:56,034
Mine was pretty good.

86
00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:58,472
I worked
in my brother-in-law'’s

87
00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:00,300
golf pro shop.

88
00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:03,215
Did not make a lot of money,
so of course I am back

89
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:06,044
to help shepherd you all
into the future.

90
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,617
May I have everyone'’s
attention, please?

91
00:05:13,791 --> 00:05:16,141
Eyes to the front of the room.

92
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,275
You may notice
we have a new student
joining us today.

93
00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:20,755
She just moved here
from Kentucky.

94
00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:21,886
Kenya.

95
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:24,324
Kenya. Her name is Caddy.

96
00:05:24,498 --> 00:05:26,282
It'’s Cady. Cady Heron.

97
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:28,806
My apologies.
I will commit that to memory.

98
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:32,723
Cady, like the Canadian
songstress k.d. lang,

99
00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:36,161
and Heron,
like the illegal street drug.

100
00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:38,990
- Thank you, Caddy.
- It'’s Cady.

101
00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:41,732
Cady, hi. I'’m Ms. Norbury.
I'’ll be your homeroom teacher.

102
00:05:41,906 --> 00:05:43,168
This is your roster.

103
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,953
I see I also have you
for A.P. Calculus.

104
00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:47,172
You must have had excellent
teachers at your old school.

105
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,957
- Oh, I was homeschooled.
- Homeschooled?

106
00:05:49,131 --> 00:05:51,699
Oh, that'’s a fun way
to take jobs from my union.

107
00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:53,265
- No, I'’m joking. It'’s fine.
- Ah.

108
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,224
Um, do you think you can
follow this schedule?

109
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:56,965
- Yeah, I think so.
- Okay, you'’re gonna be moving

110
00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:58,619
from class to class
with each...

111
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:01,273
That'’s it.

112
00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:03,537
Everybody find a seat.

113
00:06:04,233 --> 00:06:05,103
Please.

114
00:06:09,064 --> 00:06:10,892
This is first period:

115
00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:12,676
American Literature.

116
00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:14,374
<i>♪ My name is Mister Rapp ♪</i>

117
00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:16,637
<i>♪ And I take no...? ♪</i>

118
00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:21,206
<i>♪ My name is Mister Rapp
And I take no...?♪</i>

119
00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:23,295
"...care of myself"?

120
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:27,996
"Crap."
Correct answer was "crap."

121
00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:30,564
Find a seat.

122
00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:32,304
I don'’t want you
to think of me

123
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:33,915
as just any other teacher.

124
00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:35,482
I prefer to think of myself

125
00:06:35,656 --> 00:06:37,484
as a time traveler.

126
00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:41,096
<i>Maintenant nous choisissons
nos noms français.</i>

127
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:43,577
Cady. <i>Comment tu t'’appelles?</i>

128
00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:45,753
<i>Je m'’appelle</i> Cady. <i>Incorrecte!</i>

129
00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:48,277
You have to pick
a French name.

130
00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:49,670
All the French people I know

131
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:51,933
just call me Cady.

132
00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,674
Just say Marie.

133
00:06:54,631 --> 00:06:56,372
Um... Marie?

134
00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:58,113
Marie.

135
00:06:58,287 --> 00:07:00,594
- J'’anice.
- J'’anice.

136
00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:03,205
Chanel. <i>Non.</i>

137
00:07:03,379 --> 00:07:04,772
Fantine. <i>Non.</i>

138
00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:06,034
Celine Dion?

139
00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:07,209
<i>Non.</i>

140
00:07:07,818 --> 00:07:09,037
Beyoncé.

141
00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:10,952
<i>Quais. Mais non.</i>

142
00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:15,696
Welcome to "Health
and Human Sexuality."

143
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:18,133
Now, this fall
we'’ll be getting

144
00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:21,484
into the state-mandated unit
on Abstinence.

145
00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:23,051
Of course then followed by,
in the spring,

146
00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:25,140
Condoms and Choking.

147
00:07:25,314 --> 00:07:27,708
Where do you think
you'’re going there, hotshot?

148
00:07:27,882 --> 00:07:29,405
I need to urinate.

149
00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:30,711
No way, José.

150
00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:32,277
Uh, it'’s Cady.

151
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:33,714
Well, Cady,

152
00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:35,803
first thing you need to do
is ask permission.

153
00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:37,369
But the second thing
you'’ll need

154
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:39,546
is this lavatory pass

155
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:41,548
that is shaped
like a sperm whale.

156
00:07:41,722 --> 00:07:42,723
Get it?

157
00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:44,594
Um...

158
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,683
May I please have
the lavatory pass?

159
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,990
No, you may not.
You may go sit back down.

160
00:07:49,164 --> 00:07:51,775
You can go at lunch.
Nice try, kiddo.

161
00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:53,342
All right,
let'’s jump into this!

162
00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:55,605
This won'’t be awkward at all,
I swear to God.

163
00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:43,392
This one.

164
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:48,179
Are you okay in there?

165
00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:49,877
Uh, yes.

166
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:51,487
'’Cause you'’ve been in there
a very long time.

167
00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:52,880
We'’re concerned
you'’re either doing drugs

168
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,229
or having a toilet baby.

169
00:08:57,058 --> 00:08:58,625
Hi. I'’m Janis.

170
00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:00,235
And <i>je m'’appelle</i> Sasha Fierce.

171
00:09:00,409 --> 00:09:01,497
This is Damian.

172
00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:02,977
He is almost too gay
to function.

173
00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:05,240
But I push through.
I manage.

174
00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:06,763
Hi.

175
00:09:06,937 --> 00:09:07,851
We'’ve been
watching you all day.

176
00:09:08,025 --> 00:09:09,374
You'’re a mess.

177
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:13,640
So we volunteer to amplify
your lunch experience.

178
00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:16,643
Yeah, what Damian is saying is
we will help you, Caddy.

179
00:09:16,817 --> 00:09:20,690
Thanks so much.
Um... it'’s Cady.

180
00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:22,736
Yeah.
I'’m gonna call you Caddy.

181
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:24,738
Get out of the toilet!

182
00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:26,522
Mkay.

183
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:29,394
You just need to find
your clique and commit to it.

184
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,961
You have your Jocks.

185
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,487
Your Corny Horny Band Freaks.

186
00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:40,144
Your Classic Burnouts.

187
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:43,321
Do any of these feel
like your people?

188
00:09:43,495 --> 00:09:45,280
I don'’t think so. Hmm...

189
00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:47,282
You know what might
be cute for her?

190
00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:48,675
What, Grade Grubbers?

191
00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:50,590
No, I was gonna say
Theater Mess.

192
00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:58,423
And who'’s at that table?

193
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,817
Oh, no, no, no.

194
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:02,427
We call them The Plastics

195
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,168
'’cause they'’re shiny,
fake and hard.

196
00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:05,735
Yeah, that'’s Gretchen Wieners.

197
00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:08,042
She knows everything
about everybody.

198
00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:09,739
That'’s why
her hair'’s so big.

199
00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:11,436
It'’s full of secrets.

200
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,003
And that'’s Karen Shetty.

201
00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:14,788
She'’s the dumbest person
you'’ll ever meet.

202
00:10:14,962 --> 00:10:18,052
I once saw her put a D
in the word "orange."

203
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:23,057
Could I just sit
with you guys?

204
00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:25,320
I actually don'’t know.

205
00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:26,669
We'’ve never been asked
that question before.

206
00:10:26,843 --> 00:10:27,888
Could she?

207
00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:30,194
We are very exclusive,

208
00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:33,633
but I think we can make
an exception.

209
00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:38,072
- What was that?
- Oh, Lord, it'’s the Queen Bee.
Don'’t look her in the eye!

210
00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:56,090
<i>♪ My name is Regina George ♪</i>

211
00:10:57,221 --> 00:11:02,139
<i>♪ And I am a massive deal ♪</i>

212
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:05,577
<i>♪ Fear me, love me ♪</i>

213
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:09,277
<i>♪ Stand and stare at me ♪</i>

214
00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:11,540
<i>♪ And these? ♪</i>

215
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:13,585
<i>♪ These are real ♪</i>

216
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:17,154
<i>♪ I'’ve got money and looks ♪</i>

217
00:11:18,939 --> 00:11:23,247
<i>♪ I am, like, drunk with power ♪</i>

218
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:28,818
<i>♪ This whole school
Humps my leg ♪</i>

219
00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:32,474
<i>♪ Like a Chihuahua ♪</i>

220
00:11:32,648 --> 00:11:37,784
<i>♪ I'’m the prettiest poison
You'’ve ever seen ♪</i>

221
00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:42,919
<i>♪ That filter you use
Looks just like me ♪</i>

222
00:11:43,093 --> 00:11:47,794
<i>♪ My name is Regina George ♪</i>

223
00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:52,755
<i>♪ And I am a massive deal ♪</i>

224
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:57,586
<i>♪ I don'’t care who you are ♪</i>

225
00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,154
<i>♪ I don'’t care ♪</i>

226
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:07,117
<i>♪ How you feel ♪</i>

227
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:08,423
You.

228
00:12:08,597 --> 00:12:10,120
Yeah, you. Come here.

229
00:12:19,303 --> 00:12:20,565
Why don'’t I know you?

230
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,438
I'’m new. I just moved here
from Kenya.

231
00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:24,961
Shut up.

232
00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:26,702
Shut up!

233
00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:28,530
I didn'’t say anything.

234
00:12:28,704 --> 00:12:29,966
You'’re, like, really pretty.

235
00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:33,361
- Thanks.
- So you agree?

236
00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:34,710
You think
you'’re really pretty?

237
00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:37,539
Oh, I don'’t know.

238
00:12:37,713 --> 00:12:40,629
You'’re an international
student. That is so fetch.

239
00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:41,935
What is "fetch"?

240
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:44,851
It'’s like slang
from an old movie.

241
00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:48,028
<i>Juno,</i> I think.

242
00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:49,507
Have you ever touched a tiger?

243
00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:52,032
Uh, no, those aren'’t
indigenous to Kenya.

244
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,556
'’Cause that'’s one
of my life goals.

245
00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:57,080
To not touch a tiger.

246
00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:59,213
Hey, new girl!
You want to see a trick?

247
00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:00,823
I can guess
any girl'’s bra size.

248
00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:02,694
All you got to do
is jump one time.

249
00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:04,871
- Ew, Jason!
- Do me.

250
00:13:05,045 --> 00:13:06,481
Oh, my God, Jason.

251
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:09,527
You do not come to a party
at my house with Gretchen

252
00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,355
and then skeeze on the new girl
right in front of me.

253
00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:13,401
Do you want to have sex
with him?

254
00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:15,664
Oh, uh... no, thank you.

255
00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:16,970
Okay, then it'’s settled.

256
00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:18,319
Jason, no one thinks
you'’re funny.

257
00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:19,668
Okay? And this thing
you'’re doing

258
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:20,974
where you lower your voice
when you talk

259
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,410
is making people really sad.

260
00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:24,412
Excuse me, anyone
who would like Jason Weems

261
00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:26,414
to go back
to his normal speaking voice,

262
00:13:26,588 --> 00:13:27,458
please raise your hand.

263
00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:32,986
Yeah.

264
00:13:33,638 --> 00:13:34,857
Bitch.

265
00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:36,467
Wow.

266
00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:38,513
You'’re really gonna
get noticed around here.

267
00:13:39,383 --> 00:13:40,558
We should help you.

268
00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:44,171
Can you give us some privacy
for a sec?

269
00:13:44,345 --> 00:13:46,347
Oh. Yeah, sure.

270
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:52,135
I have your lunch!

271
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:55,312
All right.

272
00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:57,445
So, we never really
do this, but...

273
00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:58,881
...you'’re invited
to eat lunch with us

274
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:01,188
- for the rest of the week.
- Oh. Um...

275
00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:03,538
- That'’s okay.
- On Wednesdays,
we wear pink.

276
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:08,499
They want me to have lunch
with them all week.

277
00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:10,284
That is tits!

278
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:11,938
She means "that'’s great."

279
00:14:12,112 --> 00:14:13,983
I don'’t really get why
you guys hate them so much.

280
00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:16,029
- Regina seems kind of cool.
- No, no...

281
00:14:16,203 --> 00:14:17,769
Regina George is not cool.

282
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,641
She'’s a scum-sucking
life ruiner.

283
00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:22,252
Janis hates Regina
because when we were
in sixth grade,

284
00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:24,385
she told everybody
that she was--Hey, Damian!

285
00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:25,473
What?

286
00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:26,691
Shall we not?

287
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,084
I am providing context.

288
00:14:28,258 --> 00:14:29,259
Caddy?

289
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:31,044
You should have lunch
with them

290
00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:32,959
and then report back
and tell us

291
00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:35,135
every stupid, moronic thing
they said.

292
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:37,528
Spy on them? That'’s bad.

293
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:39,095
No! Look at us.

294
00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:42,882
Would we ever ask you
to do something bad?

295
00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:44,666
Uh...

296
00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:48,888
- Okay.
- Yes!

297
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:50,890
Do you have a pink shirt
I can borrow?

298
00:14:51,064 --> 00:14:53,066
- No!
- Yes! What shade?

299
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,459
Welcome to A.P. Calculus.

300
00:14:55,633 --> 00:15:00,682
Congratulations.
You know more math
than 85% of Americans.

301
00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:03,728
But you will not rest
on your laurels this year.

302
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,166
I plan to push you.

303
00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:07,558
So let'’s get started.

304
00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:10,735
Chapter One, "Limits
and Their Properties."

305
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,215
What the heck are limits,
you say?

306
00:15:12,389 --> 00:15:13,782
If I write out the equation,

307
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:16,828
"The limit as x approaches two
of ,"

308
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:18,700
the function is what
we'’re taking the limit of.

309
00:15:18,874 --> 00:15:20,571
I don'’t expect you to know
how to do this yet.

310
00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:21,921
The limit equals three.

311
00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:23,966
That'’s right.

312
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:25,446
Let'’s try another one.

313
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:27,274
Find the value of k

314
00:15:27,448 --> 00:15:29,493
for which the following
limit exists.

315
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:31,887
- K equals negative three.
- Damn, girl!

316
00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:34,934
Wow.

317
00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:38,676
Are you trying to make
the rest of us feel dumb?

318
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:41,897
No, I... I'’m not trying to.
It'’s just, uh, happening.

319
00:15:42,071 --> 00:15:45,857
Oh, okay, it'’s like that.
All right, um, well...

320
00:15:46,902 --> 00:15:48,251
challenge accepted.

321
00:15:55,998 --> 00:15:57,869
<i>♪ When I was nine ♪</i>

322
00:15:58,044 --> 00:15:59,480
<i>♪ I fell in love ♪</i>

323
00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:01,308
<i>♪ This Peace Corps guy ♪</i>

324
00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:05,703
<i>♪ I waited hours
Inside his tent with flowers ♪</i>

325
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:08,228
<i>♪ Which made him laugh
Which made me cry ♪</i>

326
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:09,925
<i>♪ By 13 I gave up trying ♪</i>

327
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:13,015
<i>♪ I decided I would be
A mathematician ♪</i>

328
00:16:13,189 --> 00:16:14,669
<i>♪ '’Cause math is real ♪</i>

329
00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:16,627
<i>♪ I memorized a lot of pi ♪</i>

330
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:19,282
<i>♪ Because addition
And subtraction and division ♪</i>

331
00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:22,764
<i>♪ Would never make me feel
So stupid with love ♪</i>

332
00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:24,157
<i>♪ I didn'’t get it ♪</i>

333
00:16:24,331 --> 00:16:27,334
<i>♪ I didn'’t get it, somehow ♪</i>

334
00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:30,424
<i>♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪</i>

335
00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:34,428
<i>♪ I didn'’t get it
I didn'’t get it till now ♪</i>

336
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:38,432
<i>♪ Mm, mm, mm ♪</i>

337
00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:42,610
<i>♪ So thank you, math
For being there ♪</i>

338
00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:44,829
<i>♪ To bring me joy ♪</i>

339
00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:47,919
<i>♪ And thank you, math ♪</i>

340
00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:51,097
<i>♪ '’Cause now you'’ve brought me
This cute boy ♪</i>

341
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:53,403
<i>♪ He'’s like someone from TV ♪</i>

342
00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:56,450
<i>♪ He'’s like that guy
Who gives out roses
To those women ♪</i>

343
00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:58,234
<i>♪ His clothes, his grooming ♪</i>

344
00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:00,367
<i>♪ And he'’s a foot away from me ♪</i>

345
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:02,717
<i>♪ With swoopy hair
And shiny eyes
That I could swim in ♪</i>

346
00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:04,240
<i>♪ He'’s live and in the room! ♪</i>

347
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:14,511
<i>♪ And I'’m stupid with love
I want to get it ♪</i>

348
00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:17,645
<i>♪ I want to get it, but how? ♪</i>

349
00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:20,952
<i>♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪</i>

350
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:25,218
<i>♪ I want to get it
I didn'’t get it till now ♪</i>

351
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:37,056
<i>♪ I'’m astounded and nonplussed ♪</i>

352
00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:40,015
<i>♪ I am filled with calcu-lust ♪</i>

353
00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:43,192
<i>♪ Does this guy work out?
He must ♪</i>

354
00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:46,326
<i>♪ All sweaty at the gym ♪</i>

355
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,416
<i>♪ Could that image
Be more hot?♪</i>

356
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:52,419
<i>♪ Let me just enjoy
That thought ♪</i>

357
00:17:52,593 --> 00:17:55,378
<i>♪ School was rough
But now it'’s not ♪</i>

358
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:57,685
<i>♪ '’Cause now there'’s him ♪</i>

359
00:17:57,859 --> 00:18:01,167
<i>♪ Stupid with love
I didn'’t get it ♪</i>

360
00:18:01,341 --> 00:18:04,300
<i>♪ I didn'’t get it, somehow ♪</i>

361
00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:07,390
<i>♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪</i>

362
00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:10,741
<i>♪ I didn'’t get it
I didn'’t get it till now ♪</i>

363
00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:18,314
I'’m okay.

364
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:27,193
Mom, you can'’t
pick me up like this.

365
00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:28,542
It'’s embarrassing.

366
00:18:31,545 --> 00:18:33,155
You can'’t wear a tank top
two days in a row

367
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:36,332
and you can
only wear your hair
in a ponytail once a week.

368
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:37,986
So I guess
you'’ve chosen today.

369
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:41,990
Oh! And we only wear sweats
or track pants on Fridays.

370
00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:43,818
If you break any
of these rules,

371
00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:45,124
you can'’t sit with us.

372
00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:46,995
I mean, not just you,
like, any of us.

373
00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:48,649
Like if I wore sweatpants today,

374
00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:50,085
I'’d have to
go sit over there...

375
00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:51,826
...with the Art Freaks.

376
00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:56,004
That seems fair.

377
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:58,528
120 calories
and 48 calories from fat.

378
00:18:58,702 --> 00:18:59,616
What percent is that?

379
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:02,053
Um, 48 into 120?

380
00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:03,925
There'’s no way of knowing.

381
00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:06,362
It'’s 40%.

382
00:19:06,536 --> 00:19:07,929
42 over 120

383
00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:10,018
equals x over 100,
and then you cross-multiply

384
00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:11,672
to get the value of x.

385
00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:14,153
Hmm.

386
00:19:14,327 --> 00:19:15,980
Whatever.
Um, I'’m getting cheese fries.

387
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:24,989
So, have you seen any guys
you think are cute yet?

388
00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:30,691
Oh, um, well, actually,
there'’s this one guy
in my Calculus class.

389
00:19:30,865 --> 00:19:34,782
- Ooh, a senior! Who is it?
- Uh, Aaron Samuels.

390
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:38,002
You can'’t like Aaron Samuels!
- That is Regina'’s ex-boyfriend!
- No. No. Bad. Bad. Danger.

391
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:42,093
Wait. I thought she
dumped him for Shane Oman.

392
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:43,486
Irregardless!

393
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:44,966
Ex-boyfriends are
off-limits for friends.

394
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:46,707
That'’s just, like,
the rules of feminism!

395
00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:52,147
Don'’t worry.

396
00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:54,584
I will never tell Regina
what you said.

397
00:19:54,758 --> 00:19:56,499
I am very trustworthy.

398
00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:58,980
Karen'’s had sex with 11 people
and I'’ve never told anyone.

399
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:01,678
Yo, Golf Bird.

400
00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:03,941
- Those fractions were tight.
- What?

401
00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:07,249
"Caddy Heron." "Golf Bird."

402
00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:08,946
- I don'’t like it.
- I don'’t get it.

403
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:12,036
I'’m Kevin Ganatra.
I'’m from your Calc class.

404
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,909
I sit diagonally from you.

405
00:20:15,083 --> 00:20:17,128
I'’m also captain
of the North Shore Mathletes.

406
00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:21,045
We'’re a very chill, dope,
extracurricular option.

407
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,612
You know,
serve your college rezzy

408
00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:24,745
- and your thirst for knolly.
- Don'’t say "knolly."

409
00:20:24,919 --> 00:20:26,921
Also Ms. Norbury says
we get twice as much funding

410
00:20:27,095 --> 00:20:29,184
if we had a girl on the team,
so think about joining,

411
00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:30,925
because we'’d love
to get jackets.

412
00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:32,840
Okay, yeah, sure.
Where do I...

413
00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:34,058
No, no,
you cannot join Mathletes.

414
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,321
That is, like,
socially ruinous!

415
00:20:35,495 --> 00:20:38,237
Ew, no.
Why is he by our table?

416
00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:39,760
I can hear you, by the way.

417
00:20:39,934 --> 00:20:41,327
Can you hear me now?

418
00:20:41,501 --> 00:20:43,851
Bye.

419
00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:47,158
Uh, anyways,
uh, just take my card
in case you change your mind?

420
00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:56,385
God, you are so lucky
you have us to guide you.

421
00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:58,605
What are you doing
after school today?

422
00:20:58,779 --> 00:21:00,346
I want to give you some shoes.

423
00:21:03,087 --> 00:21:04,698
What kind of shoes?

424
00:21:04,872 --> 00:21:07,440
I have no idea. I guess, um,
something fancier than these?

425
00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:09,920
She'’s so rude!

426
00:21:10,094 --> 00:21:12,532
I mean, maybe
she'’s just being generous.

427
00:21:12,706 --> 00:21:14,751
Maybe we can have
a commensal relationship.

428
00:21:14,925 --> 00:21:17,101
What is that? I want one.

429
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:20,844
So, in nature,
okay, so lions,

430
00:21:21,018 --> 00:21:22,716
they'’re the apex predators, right?

431
00:21:22,890 --> 00:21:23,891
They'’re the top
of the food chain.

432
00:21:24,065 --> 00:21:26,241
They can kill anything
they want.

433
00:21:26,415 --> 00:21:28,504
But if you'’re a hyena, well,

434
00:21:28,678 --> 00:21:31,551
then you follow them around
and you eat the carcasses
that they leave behind.

435
00:21:31,725 --> 00:21:33,204
- Whoa.
- Gretchen Wieners is a hyena.

436
00:21:33,379 --> 00:21:34,293
Got it.

437
00:21:34,467 --> 00:21:36,338
No, I did not say that.

438
00:21:36,512 --> 00:21:38,558
I'’m just saying, if you'’re
on Regina'’s good side...

439
00:21:38,732 --> 00:21:40,037
Whoa, Caddy! No, no, no.

440
00:21:40,211 --> 00:21:42,257
Regina George does not have
a good side, okay?

441
00:21:42,431 --> 00:21:43,824
If you go over
to her house today...

442
00:21:43,998 --> 00:21:45,216
I am not joking,

443
00:21:46,130 --> 00:21:47,610
be careful.

444
00:21:58,534 --> 00:22:00,362
<i>♪ Don'’t be fooled by the pink ♪</i>

445
00:22:00,536 --> 00:22:02,408
<i>♪ She is not playing dolls ♪</i>

446
00:22:02,582 --> 00:22:06,368
<i>♪ She is stalking the halls
For the thrill of the kill ♪</i>

447
00:22:06,542 --> 00:22:10,372
<i>♪ Every person in school
Is aware of her stare ♪</i>

448
00:22:10,546 --> 00:22:14,376
<i>♪ When she tosses her hair
They go perfectly still ♪</i>

449
00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:18,380
<i>♪ All their eyes say
"Don'’t attack me"♪</i>

450
00:22:18,554 --> 00:22:22,384
<i>♪ Watch them sweat
And pant and shake ♪</i>

451
00:22:22,558 --> 00:22:26,736
<i>♪ Every food chain
Has its acme ♪</i>

452
00:22:26,910 --> 00:22:29,826
<i>♪ Regina George eats steak ♪</i>

453
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:34,527
<i>♪ She'’s the queen of beasts
She can smell your fear ♪</i>

454
00:22:34,701 --> 00:22:38,357
<i>♪ In this biosphere
She'’s the apex predator ♪</i>

455
00:22:38,531 --> 00:22:40,446
<i>♪ Like a lioness ♪</i>

456
00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:44,188
<i>♪ Only with less fur
Do not mess with her ♪</i>

457
00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:46,190
<i>♪ She'’s the apex predator ♪</i>

458
00:22:48,932 --> 00:22:51,413
Jason is crotch-sitting
Taylor Wedell.

459
00:22:52,458 --> 00:22:54,329
Absolutely not.

460
00:22:54,503 --> 00:22:56,287
<i>♪ At the watering hole ♪</i>

461
00:22:56,462 --> 00:22:58,115
<i>♪ See the girls
Who weren'’t nice ♪</i>

462
00:22:58,289 --> 00:23:00,291
<i>♪ Have to scatter like mice ♪</i>

463
00:23:00,466 --> 00:23:02,598
<i>♪ From a jungle cat ♪</i>

464
00:23:02,772 --> 00:23:06,254
<i>♪ And though Janis is great
She does not have this power ♪</i>

465
00:23:06,428 --> 00:23:08,517
<i>♪ People literally cower ♪</i>

466
00:23:08,691 --> 00:23:10,171
<i>♪ Janis can'’t do that ♪</i>

467
00:23:10,345 --> 00:23:14,436
<i>♪ See her mark her territory ♪</i>

468
00:23:14,610 --> 00:23:17,439
<i>♪ As they follow in her train ♪</i>

469
00:23:18,788 --> 00:23:22,836
<i>♪ They were victims
In their stories ♪</i>

470
00:23:23,010 --> 00:23:26,405
<i>♪ Now they shake their mane ♪</i>

471
00:23:26,579 --> 00:23:30,147
<i>♪ She'’s the queen of beasts
And you'’re in her pride ♪</i>

472
00:23:30,321 --> 00:23:32,236
<i>♪ You have hitched a ride ♪</i>

473
00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:34,543
<i>♪ With the apex predator ♪</i>

474
00:23:34,717 --> 00:23:38,547
<i>♪ And it'’s kind of fun
When she bares her claws ♪</i>

475
00:23:38,721 --> 00:23:40,331
<i>♪ You think
You'’re safe because ♪</i>

476
00:23:40,506 --> 00:23:42,072
<i>♪ You'’re with
The apex predator ♪</i>

477
00:23:42,246 --> 00:23:44,335
Do you think she'’ll be mad
if I like Aaron?

478
00:23:44,510 --> 00:23:46,642
- Samuels? Are you unwell?
- You can'’t like
Aaron Samuels!

479
00:23:46,816 --> 00:23:47,730
Okay, okay!

480
00:23:47,904 --> 00:23:49,863
I'’ll be careful. I promise.

481
00:23:52,648 --> 00:23:56,130
<i>♪ Do not think
You'’ll be protected ♪</i>

482
00:23:56,304 --> 00:24:00,003
<i>♪ By your new exotic pet ♪</i>

483
00:24:00,177 --> 00:24:04,399
<i>♪ Not a chance
If she suspected ♪</i>

484
00:24:04,573 --> 00:24:07,881
<i>♪ You were any kind
Of reproductive threat ♪</i>

485
00:24:08,055 --> 00:24:09,970
<i>♪ But she doesn'’t know yet ♪</i>

486
00:24:10,144 --> 00:24:12,363
<i>♪ She doesn'’t know yet! ♪</i>

487
00:24:12,538 --> 00:24:16,455
<i>♪ She'’s the queen of beasts
At this beastly school ♪</i>

488
00:24:16,629 --> 00:24:20,284
<i>♪ Got to keep things cool
With the apex predator!♪</i>

489
00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:31,208
Get in, loser.

490
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,692
<i>♪ With the apex predator! ♪</i>

491
00:24:36,866 --> 00:24:40,696
<i>♪ Will she braid your hair?
Will she eat your heart?♪</i>

492
00:24:40,870 --> 00:24:44,744
<i>♪ How can you outsmart ♪</i>

493
00:24:44,918 --> 00:24:46,572
<i>♪ The apex predator? ♪</i>

494
00:24:49,052 --> 00:24:50,532
<i>♪ The apex predator? ♪</i>

495
00:24:50,706 --> 00:24:52,534
<i>♪ The apex predator! ♪</i>

496
00:24:53,535 --> 00:24:56,712
You guys! Hey...

497
00:24:57,713 --> 00:25:00,150
Happy hump day, besties!

498
00:25:00,324 --> 00:25:03,023
Hi, Mrs. George.

499
00:25:03,197 --> 00:25:04,546
This is Cady.

500
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,548
- I just moved here.
- From Kenya.

501
00:25:06,722 --> 00:25:11,074
Welcome, Cady from Kenya.

502
00:25:11,248 --> 00:25:14,904
We haven'’t had any new meat
in our little lady taco
in so long.

503
00:25:15,078 --> 00:25:16,166
Mom, go make snacks.

504
00:25:16,340 --> 00:25:17,994
For sure.
For sure, Regina, yeah.

505
00:25:18,168 --> 00:25:19,648
Thank you so much,
Mrs. George.

506
00:25:19,822 --> 00:25:21,650
You have a beautiful mansion.

507
00:25:21,824 --> 00:25:25,436
Just slay, queens.
Slay like no one'’s watching.

508
00:25:25,611 --> 00:25:28,309
But everybody'’s watching.
Because you'’re gorgeous!

509
00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:35,534
Wow, your room is really nice.

510
00:25:35,708 --> 00:25:39,146
Thanks.
It used to be my parents'’,
but I made them trade me.

511
00:25:47,197 --> 00:25:50,461
Cady! I made you
a Spotify playlist

512
00:25:50,636 --> 00:25:52,725
to help you catch up
on culture.

513
00:25:52,899 --> 00:25:55,989
Karen, come here.
I want to fix your eyebrows.

514
00:25:56,163 --> 00:25:57,120
Can I still have two?

515
00:25:57,294 --> 00:25:59,601
- Gretchen, move.
- Sorry.

516
00:25:59,775 --> 00:26:02,343
God, my hips are so wide.

517
00:26:02,517 --> 00:26:04,040
God, my pores are huge!

518
00:26:04,214 --> 00:26:06,086
I want skin like Cady'’s.

519
00:26:07,217 --> 00:26:09,219
My B.O. smells like crayons.

520
00:26:12,179 --> 00:26:15,138
Um, me, too! I'’m ugly, too.

521
00:26:15,312 --> 00:26:17,532
Oh, my God, I love her.
She'’s like a Martian.

522
00:26:17,706 --> 00:26:19,447
Who'’s hungry?

523
00:26:19,621 --> 00:26:20,927
Now, Cady,

524
00:26:21,101 --> 00:26:24,452
this is a very American snack
called guac.

525
00:26:24,626 --> 00:26:26,846
Is it okay or are you vegan?

526
00:26:27,020 --> 00:26:28,891
Oh, no, I'’m an omnivore.

527
00:26:29,065 --> 00:26:30,937
Yum-yum-yum. Okay, come here!

528
00:26:31,111 --> 00:26:33,853
I need you
to tell me everything.

529
00:26:34,027 --> 00:26:36,899
Have you seen any boys
that you think are cute yet?

530
00:26:37,073 --> 00:26:40,207
Oh. Uh, well, I...

531
00:26:40,381 --> 00:26:41,904
No.

532
00:26:42,078 --> 00:26:44,385
Well, don'’t worry.
It'’s just a matter of time.

533
00:26:44,559 --> 00:26:48,128
You know, I always say
that this school district
has the highest taxes,

534
00:26:48,302 --> 00:26:50,783
- but the hottest boys.
- That'’s disgusting.

535
00:26:50,957 --> 00:26:53,263
Oh, Regina!
You'’re never gonna believe
what I found

536
00:26:53,437 --> 00:26:54,656
in your closet this morning.

537
00:26:54,830 --> 00:26:56,266
Why were you in my closet?

538
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:58,138
Because I'’m doing
that Japanese organizing thing

539
00:26:58,312 --> 00:27:00,793
where you take a little nap
in the closet.

540
00:27:02,490 --> 00:27:05,493
I found your Burn Book!

541
00:27:05,667 --> 00:27:08,365
Cady, this is just, like,
the funniest thing

542
00:27:08,539 --> 00:27:09,889
that the girls used to do.

543
00:27:10,063 --> 00:27:11,325
Please leave. You got it, baby.

544
00:27:11,499 --> 00:27:13,109
But, girls, I'’m gonna be
right downstairs

545
00:27:13,283 --> 00:27:15,024
if you need to talk to me
about anything.

546
00:27:15,198 --> 00:27:19,028
I mean it. Deep stuff
or boy troubles or blackheads

547
00:27:19,202 --> 00:27:21,378
or alcohol poisoning.

548
00:27:21,552 --> 00:27:23,511
You know, I have
been through it all.

549
00:27:23,685 --> 00:27:26,209
Honey, I am not a regular mom.

550
00:27:26,383 --> 00:27:29,169
I'’m {coolmom with six O'’s.

551
00:27:29,343 --> 00:27:31,345
Hashtag AgingHotly. Hashtag...

552
00:27:31,519 --> 00:27:33,390
Get out. Okay.

553
00:27:33,564 --> 00:27:35,871
Girls, just have so much fun.

554
00:27:36,045 --> 00:27:40,310
Remember,
these are the best days
of your life.

555
00:27:41,529 --> 00:27:43,574
It does not get better.

556
00:27:46,403 --> 00:27:49,711
I remember this.
It was the week they took
all of our phones away.

557
00:27:52,366 --> 00:27:55,369
"Trang Pham is
a grotsky little byotch."

558
00:27:55,543 --> 00:27:56,805
Still true.

559
00:27:56,979 --> 00:27:59,852
"Dawn Schweitzer
is a horny shrimp."

560
00:28:00,026 --> 00:28:01,592
Well, she'’s taller now.

561
00:28:01,767 --> 00:28:05,292
Oh, my God.
"Janis '’Imi'’ike, Pyro-Lez."

562
00:28:05,466 --> 00:28:06,772
I forgot about that.

563
00:28:06,946 --> 00:28:08,425
Oh, my God, she is so weird.

564
00:28:08,599 --> 00:28:10,471
She is? She'’s in my homeroom.

565
00:28:10,645 --> 00:28:13,517
Oh, well, watch out,
'’cause she'’s violent.

566
00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:15,737
Yeah, people think
she'’s really good at art,

567
00:28:15,911 --> 00:28:17,913
but it'’s just '’cause
she had to do art therapy.

568
00:28:18,087 --> 00:28:20,611
Yeah, Regina tried
to be friends with her
in middle school.

569
00:28:20,786 --> 00:28:22,135
Oh, my God,
she was obsessed with me.

570
00:28:22,309 --> 00:28:24,528
And then when I got
my first boyfriend, Kyle,

571
00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:26,705
she lit my backpack on fire.

572
00:28:28,315 --> 00:28:29,577
Who'’s that?

573
00:28:29,751 --> 00:28:31,971
Mmm...
That'’s that kid Damian.

574
00:28:32,145 --> 00:28:34,364
Oh, yeah, he'’s almost too gay
to function.

575
00:28:36,323 --> 00:28:38,064
No, I didn'’t... I didn'’t
mean that in a bad way.

576
00:28:38,238 --> 00:28:40,153
No, that'’s funny.
Put that in there.

577
00:28:40,327 --> 00:28:41,415
Um...

578
00:28:42,677 --> 00:28:44,461
No, I don'’t... Oh! No, no.

579
00:28:44,635 --> 00:28:46,550
Don'’t worry, Cady,
we only write stuff
about randos in here.

580
00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:49,771
Friends are, like,
very deserving of respect.

581
00:28:49,945 --> 00:28:52,382
Gretchen... she gets it.

582
00:28:53,122 --> 00:28:54,167
Go find the shoes.

583
00:28:56,343 --> 00:28:58,519
The shoes we'’re giving
to Cady.

584
00:28:58,693 --> 00:29:02,001
Oh, my God, you are literally
being so annoying.

585
00:29:03,785 --> 00:29:04,655
Sorry.

586
00:29:14,404 --> 00:29:15,536
Are you okay?

587
00:29:15,710 --> 00:29:17,625
No... uh, totally.

588
00:29:17,799 --> 00:29:19,583
Regina'’s just joking.

589
00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:21,455
These are cute. Try '’em.

590
00:29:23,762 --> 00:29:26,112
Once I processed that Regina'’s
love language is anger,

591
00:29:26,286 --> 00:29:27,330
it'’s been much...

592
00:29:28,723 --> 00:29:31,073
Aw.

593
00:29:31,247 --> 00:29:33,989
It'’s the music box
I gave Regina
that my <i>abuelito</i> gave me.

594
00:29:43,825 --> 00:29:46,349
<i>♪ Tell me
What'’s wrong with me ♪</i>

595
00:29:46,523 --> 00:29:49,004
<i>♪ My body, face, my hair ♪</i>

596
00:29:50,092 --> 00:29:53,704
<i>♪ Tell me all my many faults ♪</i>

597
00:29:53,879 --> 00:29:55,576
<i>♪ Tell me like you care ♪</i>

598
00:29:55,750 --> 00:29:58,927
<i>♪ When we both
Know you'’re cruel ♪</i>

599
00:29:59,101 --> 00:30:02,235
<i>♪ And we both know
You'’re right ♪</i>

600
00:30:02,409 --> 00:30:05,499
<i>♪ I could listen to you ♪</i>

601
00:30:05,673 --> 00:30:08,632
<i>♪ Like a fool all night ♪</i>

602
00:30:08,807 --> 00:30:11,722
<i>♪ What'’s wrong with me? ♪</i>

603
00:30:11,897 --> 00:30:14,769
<i>♪ How I speak?
How I dress?♪</i>

604
00:30:14,943 --> 00:30:18,294
<i>♪ What'’s wrong with me? ♪</i>

605
00:30:18,468 --> 00:30:21,863
<i>♪ You keep me guessing ♪</i>

606
00:30:22,037 --> 00:30:26,999
<i>♪ Mama called me "beautiful"
Don'’t believe her anymore ♪</i>

607
00:30:27,173 --> 00:30:30,567
<i>♪ Now I'’m listening to you ♪</i>

608
00:30:30,741 --> 00:30:33,919
<i>♪ What do I do that for? ♪</i>

609
00:30:34,093 --> 00:30:39,881
<i>♪ Please don'’t ignore me ♪</i>

610
00:30:45,147 --> 00:30:46,235
Gretchen!

611
00:30:46,409 --> 00:30:47,846
What are you doing in there?

612
00:30:48,020 --> 00:30:49,412
I'’m... I'’m gonna go.

613
00:30:49,586 --> 00:30:51,719
Yep. Be right there!

614
00:30:56,811 --> 00:30:58,900
<i>♪ What'’s wrong with me?
What can I do?♪</i>

615
00:30:59,074 --> 00:31:01,642
<i>♪ What'’s wrong with me?
Could it be you?♪</i>

616
00:31:01,816 --> 00:31:03,209
<i>♪ It'’s probably me ♪</i>

617
00:31:03,383 --> 00:31:06,038
<i>♪ See that? You see? ♪</i>

618
00:31:06,212 --> 00:31:09,215
<i>♪ What'’s wrong with me? ♪</i>

619
00:31:22,663 --> 00:31:25,100
They have this book,
this "Burn Book,"

620
00:31:25,274 --> 00:31:27,189
where they write mean things
about girls in our grade.

621
00:31:27,363 --> 00:31:29,452
Ooh, ooh! What does
it say about me?

622
00:31:30,323 --> 00:31:32,368
Um... you'’re not in it.

623
00:31:32,934 --> 00:31:34,240
Those bitches!

624
00:31:34,414 --> 00:31:35,806
What is this, by the way?
It'’s terrible.

625
00:31:35,981 --> 00:31:37,547
Oh, it'’s a Kaälteen bar.

626
00:31:37,721 --> 00:31:39,767
Here, my mom used to give them
to elderly people in Kapedo

627
00:31:39,941 --> 00:31:42,030
to help them
- gain weight.
- Mmm.

628
00:31:42,204 --> 00:31:43,902
I can feel it working.

629
00:31:44,076 --> 00:31:46,339
We should, like, crush this up
and put it in Regina'’s food!

630
00:31:46,513 --> 00:31:47,818
- What?
- Oh.

631
00:31:47,993 --> 00:31:49,385
No. No, no.

632
00:31:49,559 --> 00:31:51,257
I will keep having
lunch with them, that'’s it.

633
00:31:51,431 --> 00:31:54,434
Also, we feel bad
we yelled at you

634
00:31:54,608 --> 00:31:56,131
about liking Aaron.

635
00:31:56,305 --> 00:31:58,481
You should go
for what you want.

636
00:31:58,655 --> 00:32:00,831
- Hetero allyship.
- Oh, okay.

637
00:32:01,006 --> 00:32:03,617
It'’s so dumb. I only
ever see him in Calc anyway.

638
00:32:03,791 --> 00:32:07,316
Oh. You'’re definitely
safe in Calc.

639
00:32:07,490 --> 00:32:09,275
Regina will never set foot
in there.

640
00:32:22,810 --> 00:32:24,725
- New shoes?
- Uh, yeah.

641
00:32:24,899 --> 00:32:26,466
Regina gave them to me.

642
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:29,164
Huh. I didn'’t know
you guys were friends.

643
00:32:29,338 --> 00:32:30,949
Okay, let'’s get back into it.

644
00:32:31,123 --> 00:32:32,689
Continuity.
Removable discont...

645
00:32:32,863 --> 00:32:34,082
Cady? Eyes up front, please.

646
00:32:35,518 --> 00:32:37,651
Let'’s get back
into where we were Thursday.

647
00:32:37,825 --> 00:32:39,827
Who was awake Thursday?
Who was still awake?

648
00:32:41,568 --> 00:32:43,265
I like your jacket.

649
00:32:43,439 --> 00:32:44,658
Thanks, I made it.

650
00:32:44,832 --> 00:32:46,529
But why do you sew
on top of your drawings?

651
00:32:46,703 --> 00:32:49,402
It'’s... like the drawings
are facts

652
00:32:49,576 --> 00:32:50,794
and the threads are feelings.

653
00:32:50,969 --> 00:32:53,058
It'’s so cool.

654
00:32:55,712 --> 00:32:58,324
So, you talk to your man yet?

655
00:33:00,326 --> 00:33:02,067
<i>I mean, I don'’t even
know what to say to him.</i>

656
00:33:02,241 --> 00:33:05,157
<i>I always come off sounding
like a lunatic.</i>

657
00:33:05,331 --> 00:33:07,202
- Do you like gum?
- Sure.

658
00:33:08,508 --> 00:33:10,858
Oh, I don'’t have any.
I was just...

659
00:33:11,032 --> 00:33:13,252
Oh.

660
00:33:15,950 --> 00:33:19,693
What?
Why did you say that?

661
00:33:19,867 --> 00:33:23,131
Maybe just try to have
one successful interaction
per day?

662
00:33:26,178 --> 00:33:28,397
- I like your shirt.
- Thanks.

663
00:33:28,571 --> 00:33:30,704
It smells like sausage
from the last time I wore it.

664
00:33:34,229 --> 00:33:35,970
Dear God, woman.

665
00:33:36,144 --> 00:33:39,408
Have you successfully been
a functioning human being
even once?

666
00:33:41,236 --> 00:33:44,587
On October 3rd,
he asked me what day it was.

667
00:33:44,761 --> 00:33:47,286
- What day is it?
- It'’s October 3rd.

668
00:33:47,460 --> 00:33:51,333
<i>♪ October 3rd ♪</i>

669
00:33:51,507 --> 00:33:53,074
That was two weeks ago.

670
00:33:54,510 --> 00:33:55,903
But today I kind of...

671
00:33:56,077 --> 00:33:57,209
I don'’t know,
I tried something

672
00:33:57,383 --> 00:34:00,168
and it just came to me
instinctively.

673
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,432
<i>I said I was lost.</i>

674
00:34:03,606 --> 00:34:06,174
I'’m totally lost.
Can you help me?

675
00:34:07,219 --> 00:34:08,611
<i>But I wasn'’t lost.</i>

676
00:34:08,785 --> 00:34:10,396
<i>I knew exactly what
Ms. Norbury was talking about.</i>

677
00:34:10,570 --> 00:34:14,008
It'’s the derivative
of the natural log function.

678
00:34:14,182 --> 00:34:16,793
You just take the reciprocal
of the ln.

679
00:34:18,534 --> 00:34:19,361
Thanks.

680
00:34:20,667 --> 00:34:22,669
You'’re so smart.

681
00:34:24,801 --> 00:34:25,802
<i>He was wrong.</i>

682
00:34:25,976 --> 00:34:27,543
Wait, wait. Hold up.

683
00:34:27,717 --> 00:34:29,502
- Guys, pause!
- Oh.

684
00:34:32,418 --> 00:34:34,115
You pretended to be dumb

685
00:34:34,289 --> 00:34:36,639
so you could keep talking
to a guy?

686
00:34:36,813 --> 00:34:39,512
Uh... Yeah. It worked.

687
00:34:39,686 --> 00:34:41,340
'’Cause that shit
always works, Caddy.

688
00:34:41,514 --> 00:34:42,993
It doesn'’t mean
that it'’s not evil.

689
00:34:43,168 --> 00:34:46,040
Fracking "works."
Red-lining "works."

690
00:34:46,214 --> 00:34:48,086
Gasoline and rags...

691
00:34:48,260 --> 00:34:50,479
Aren'’t you worried
Regina will eat your face
if she finds out?

692
00:34:50,653 --> 00:34:52,307
No, she won'’t find out.

693
00:34:52,481 --> 00:34:55,615
It'’s just my little
Calculus class secret.

694
00:34:55,789 --> 00:34:58,270
Oh, um...

695
00:34:58,444 --> 00:35:01,186
So its h prime of x
equals five.

696
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,144
You just forgot
the Product Rule.

697
00:35:03,318 --> 00:35:05,015
I don'’t get any of this.

698
00:35:06,626 --> 00:35:07,583
Nice job, Cady.

699
00:35:07,757 --> 00:35:09,542
It sure seems like you get it.

700
00:35:15,330 --> 00:35:19,900
Hey, my friend Chris is, uh,
having a Halloween party.

701
00:35:20,074 --> 00:35:21,641
Would you want
to come to that?

702
00:35:21,815 --> 00:35:23,991
It'’s like a costume party.
People get pretty into it.

703
00:35:24,165 --> 00:35:25,775
Grool.

704
00:35:25,949 --> 00:35:28,648
I meant to say "great," and
then I started to say "cool."

705
00:35:28,822 --> 00:35:29,997
Okay.

706
00:35:30,693 --> 00:35:31,912
Grool.

707
00:35:37,570 --> 00:35:38,788
Hi.

708
00:35:38,962 --> 00:35:40,312
<i>♪ If I could change the world ♪</i>

709
00:35:40,486 --> 00:35:44,490
<i>♪ I'’d make it Halloween ♪</i>

710
00:35:45,621 --> 00:35:48,407
<i>♪ Every single day ♪</i>

711
00:35:48,581 --> 00:35:51,932
<i>♪ And also have world peace ♪</i>

712
00:35:52,106 --> 00:35:55,065
<i>♪ Maybe world peace
Should be first ♪</i>

713
00:35:55,240 --> 00:35:57,720
<i>♪ World peace
And then Halloween ♪</i>

714
00:35:57,894 --> 00:35:59,244
Wait, let me start over.

715
00:36:02,508 --> 00:36:03,683
Hi.

716
00:36:03,857 --> 00:36:05,119
<i>♪ If I could change the world ♪</i>

717
00:36:05,293 --> 00:36:09,558
<i>♪ I'’d make us have world peace ♪</i>

718
00:36:09,732 --> 00:36:13,475
<i>♪ And also Halloween ♪</i>

719
00:36:13,649 --> 00:36:15,956
<i>♪ Every single day ♪</i>

720
00:36:16,130 --> 00:36:17,610
<i>♪ On Halloween ♪</i>

721
00:36:17,784 --> 00:36:21,614
<i>♪ You can pretend
To be someone else ♪</i>

722
00:36:21,788 --> 00:36:24,399
<i>♪ It'’s like the Internet ♪</i>

723
00:36:24,573 --> 00:36:30,362
<i>♪ Only in person
And with candy ♪</i>

724
00:36:30,536 --> 00:36:33,452
Wait. Mama,
use the back camera.

725
00:36:33,626 --> 00:36:37,020
It'’s prettier '’cause science.

726
00:36:37,195 --> 00:36:38,848
<i>♪ When you are
The hot one ♪</i>

727
00:36:39,022 --> 00:36:40,676
<i>♪ It'’s a full-time gig ♪</i>

728
00:36:40,850 --> 00:36:43,766
<i>♪ Lookin'’ like what people
Want to see ♪</i>

729
00:36:43,940 --> 00:36:47,553
<i>♪ Once a year I'’m not
I dress up and dream big ♪</i>

730
00:36:47,727 --> 00:36:49,729
<i>♪ Disguised as someone else
Who is not me ♪</i>

731
00:36:49,903 --> 00:36:51,339
<i>♪ But is still hot! ♪</i>

732
00:36:51,513 --> 00:36:52,645
<i>♪ I can be ♪</i>

733
00:36:52,819 --> 00:36:55,256
<i>♪ Who I want to be and sexy! ♪</i>

734
00:36:55,430 --> 00:36:58,651
<i>♪ I can be
Who I want to be and hot!♪</i>

735
00:36:58,825 --> 00:37:02,350
<i>♪ Don'’t like who you are
Then hit that costume shop ♪</i>

736
00:37:02,524 --> 00:37:06,136
<i>♪ Rock a new
And different sexy look ♪</i>

737
00:37:06,311 --> 00:37:09,444
<i>♪ Why be so downhearted?
Blast some trashy pop ♪</i>

738
00:37:09,618 --> 00:37:12,708
<i>♪ And drop it to this hot
And sexy hook ♪</i>

739
00:37:12,882 --> 00:37:16,930
<i>♪ I can be
Who I want to be and sexy!♪</i>

740
00:37:17,104 --> 00:37:20,499
<i>♪ I can be
Who I want to be and hot!♪</i>

741
00:37:20,673 --> 00:37:23,632
<i>♪ Be somebody new ♪</i>

742
00:37:23,806 --> 00:37:27,810
<i>♪ Do a total transformation ♪</i>

743
00:37:27,984 --> 00:37:31,249
<i>♪ Animal or mineral, too ♪</i>

744
00:37:31,423 --> 00:37:35,340
<i>♪ Or even vegetation! ♪</i>

745
00:37:35,514 --> 00:37:37,124
I give you sexy corn.

746
00:37:37,298 --> 00:37:40,388
<i>♪ I can be who I want to be ♪</i>

747
00:37:40,562 --> 00:37:43,391
<i>♪ And sexy! ♪</i>

748
00:37:54,272 --> 00:37:55,795
Why are you dressed so scary?

749
00:37:55,969 --> 00:37:57,187
It'’s Halloween.

750
00:37:57,362 --> 00:37:58,798
Cady,
if you don'’t dress slutty,

751
00:37:58,972 --> 00:38:00,582
that is slut-shaming us.

752
00:38:06,022 --> 00:38:09,330
Um, it'’s just,
like, traditionally,

753
00:38:09,504 --> 00:38:11,114
girls had to be witches
or clowns

754
00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:14,074
and we'’ve worked really hard
to progress past that.

755
00:38:14,248 --> 00:38:16,032
That makes sense.

756
00:38:18,513 --> 00:38:20,428
I'’m gonna go find Aaron.

757
00:38:20,602 --> 00:38:21,603
Okay.

758
00:38:24,084 --> 00:38:26,608
<i>♪ A sexy Quint
From sexy</i> Jaws ♪

759
00:38:26,782 --> 00:38:28,349
<i>♪ Catching sexy sharks ♪</i>

760
00:38:28,523 --> 00:38:31,961
<i>♪ Sexy Eleanor Roosevelt
Or sexy Joan of Arc ♪</i>

761
00:38:32,135 --> 00:38:35,704
<i>♪ I can be a sexy pirate
Or a sexy ballet dancer ♪</i>

762
00:38:35,878 --> 00:38:40,492
<i>♪ I can be a sexy doctor
And cure some sexy cancer!♪</i>

763
00:38:40,666 --> 00:38:42,624
That'’s not right,
- is it?
- No.

764
00:38:43,756 --> 00:38:45,497
I can sexy cure some cancer?

765
00:38:45,671 --> 00:38:46,976
No.

766
00:38:47,150 --> 00:38:49,152
I can cure sex cancer!

767
00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:51,198
Sex cancer doesn'’t exist.

768
00:38:51,372 --> 00:38:53,505
I did it.

769
00:38:53,679 --> 00:38:54,506
Dance break.

770
00:39:06,779 --> 00:39:08,476
<i>♪ Happy Halloween! ♪</i>

771
00:39:12,132 --> 00:39:15,918
<i>♪ This is
Modern feminism talkin'’♪</i>

772
00:39:16,092 --> 00:39:19,444
<i>♪ Watch me as I run the world
In shoes I cannot walk in ♪</i>

773
00:39:19,618 --> 00:39:22,882
<i>♪ I can be who I want to be ♪</i>

774
00:39:23,056 --> 00:39:26,494
<i>♪ And sex... sex ♪</i>

775
00:39:26,668 --> 00:39:30,716
<i>♪ Sexy! ♪</i>

776
00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:34,937
I'’m a sexy mouse. Duh!

777
00:39:38,593 --> 00:39:39,899
- Hey.
- Hi.

778
00:39:40,073 --> 00:39:41,248
Cady!

779
00:39:41,422 --> 00:39:42,945
Hi!

780
00:39:43,119 --> 00:39:45,295
- Ow.
- Hey.

781
00:39:45,470 --> 00:39:46,993
I like your costume.

782
00:39:47,167 --> 00:39:48,864
Different
from everyone else'’s.

783
00:39:49,038 --> 00:39:51,737
I didn'’t know
I was supposed to...

784
00:39:53,129 --> 00:39:54,653
I'’m such a weird
foreign loser.

785
00:39:54,827 --> 00:39:56,394
No. It'’s great.

786
00:39:57,699 --> 00:39:58,831
You want a drink?

787
00:39:59,005 --> 00:40:01,007
Thanks.
Uh, do they have juice?

788
00:40:02,487 --> 00:40:04,271
I can check. Wait here.

789
00:40:06,969 --> 00:40:09,798
I think you and Aaron
would be a really cute couple.

790
00:40:09,972 --> 00:40:11,147
- Really?
- Yeah.

791
00:40:11,321 --> 00:40:12,714
I just said so.
Don'’t be thirsty.

792
00:40:12,888 --> 00:40:15,891
You know, I could talk
to him for you. If you want.

793
00:40:16,065 --> 00:40:18,198
See if he likes you back.

794
00:40:18,372 --> 00:40:20,548
- You would do that for me?
- Mm-hmm.

795
00:40:20,722 --> 00:40:23,203
Trust me. I know exactly
how to play it.

796
00:40:26,946 --> 00:40:29,339
- I need to talk to you.
- Me?

797
00:40:29,514 --> 00:40:31,124
I thought you were done
talking to me

798
00:40:31,298 --> 00:40:32,908
when you started talking
to Shane last summer.

799
00:40:33,082 --> 00:40:36,303
Shut up. '’Cause you know
that homeschooled girl, Cady?

800
00:40:37,435 --> 00:40:38,914
Yeah, I invited her tonight.

801
00:40:40,307 --> 00:40:41,830
Yeah, well, be careful.

802
00:40:42,004 --> 00:40:43,571
'’Cause she has
a huge crush on you.

803
00:40:43,745 --> 00:40:46,356
Really?

804
00:40:46,531 --> 00:40:48,054
Don'’t be gross.

805
00:40:48,750 --> 00:40:50,491
She'’s my friend and...

806
00:40:50,665 --> 00:40:54,321
...she'’s, like, really
inexperienced and, um...

807
00:41:00,066 --> 00:41:02,329
Wow, sorry.

808
00:41:02,503 --> 00:41:04,374
I didn'’t think this
would be so hard for me.

809
00:41:04,549 --> 00:41:05,637
What?

810
00:41:05,811 --> 00:41:07,203
I don'’t know,
I guess I just...

811
00:41:07,377 --> 00:41:10,380
just have, like, a lot
of, like, unresolved trauma

812
00:41:10,555 --> 00:41:12,121
from how things ended with us.

813
00:41:12,295 --> 00:41:13,732
Give me a break.

814
00:41:17,649 --> 00:41:18,650
Regina.

815
00:41:20,869 --> 00:41:22,523
- Regina.
- Leave me alone.

816
00:41:22,697 --> 00:41:24,438
G, why are you upset?

817
00:41:24,612 --> 00:41:25,700
Please.

818
00:41:25,874 --> 00:41:28,877
What do you mean,
please? G!

819
00:41:41,673 --> 00:41:44,545
<i>♪ Yes, I look perfect ♪</i>

820
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:46,982
<i>♪ Ice Queen
That'’s what you see ♪</i>

821
00:41:47,156 --> 00:41:50,420
<i>♪ It'’s what they all expect
From me ♪</i>

822
00:41:50,595 --> 00:41:53,336
<i>♪ But it'’s all show ♪</i>

823
00:41:53,511 --> 00:41:56,165
<i>♪ Face it, you used me ♪</i>

824
00:41:56,339 --> 00:41:58,994
<i>♪ You saw the sexy clothes ♪</i>

825
00:41:59,168 --> 00:42:02,824
<i>♪ My supermodel pose ♪</i>

826
00:42:02,998 --> 00:42:05,131
<i>♪ What did you know? ♪</i>

827
00:42:05,305 --> 00:42:08,308
<i>♪ Was I a game to you? ♪</i>

828
00:42:08,482 --> 00:42:11,137
<i>♪ Was I a way to be cool? ♪</i>

829
00:42:11,311 --> 00:42:14,401
<i>♪ I truly cared ♪</i>

830
00:42:14,575 --> 00:42:17,273
<i>♪ Was I the fool? ♪</i>

831
00:42:17,447 --> 00:42:19,841
<i>♪ It'’s fine for you ♪</i>

832
00:42:20,015 --> 00:42:23,062
<i>♪ It'’s fine to flirt ♪</i>

833
00:42:23,236 --> 00:42:28,067
<i>♪ It'’s fine ♪</i>

834
00:42:28,241 --> 00:42:29,634
<i>♪ Till someone gets hurt ♪</i>

835
00:42:35,683 --> 00:42:37,990
<i>♪ Feel my heart beating? ♪</i>

836
00:42:38,164 --> 00:42:41,123
<i>♪ I'’m just like her or you ♪</i>

837
00:42:41,297 --> 00:42:44,300
<i>♪ People forget I'’m human, too ♪</i>

838
00:42:44,474 --> 00:42:46,564
<i>♪ Yes, they do that ♪</i>

839
00:42:47,869 --> 00:42:50,524
<i>♪ This is performance ♪</i>

840
00:42:50,698 --> 00:42:53,614
<i>♪ This is all self-defense ♪</i>

841
00:42:53,788 --> 00:42:56,704
<i>♪ I thought you had the sense ♪</i>

842
00:42:56,878 --> 00:42:59,272
<i>♪ To see through that ♪</i>

843
00:42:59,446 --> 00:43:02,188
<i>♪ Was I too proud with you? ♪</i>

844
00:43:02,362 --> 00:43:05,583
<i>♪ Was I too cold
And forbidding?♪</i>

845
00:43:05,757 --> 00:43:08,760
<i>♪ You chose her over me
Well ♪</i>

846
00:43:08,934 --> 00:43:11,284
<i>♪ Are you kidding? ♪</i>

847
00:43:11,458 --> 00:43:13,852
<i>♪ It'’s fine for you ♪</i>

848
00:43:14,026 --> 00:43:16,332
<i>♪ It'’s fine to flirt ♪</i>

849
00:43:17,246 --> 00:43:21,947
<i>♪ It'’s fine ♪</i>

850
00:43:22,121 --> 00:43:23,992
<i>♪ Till someone gets hurt ♪</i>

851
00:43:28,344 --> 00:43:33,567
<i>♪ Till someone gets hurt! ♪</i>

852
00:43:35,482 --> 00:43:37,049
<i>♪ Poor little me ♪</i>

853
00:43:37,223 --> 00:43:41,009
<i>♪ I'’m trapped
In this fabulous show ♪</i>

854
00:43:41,183 --> 00:43:43,882
<i>♪ You could set me free ♪</i>

855
00:43:44,056 --> 00:43:48,756
<i>♪ But if you'’re going, go ♪</i>

856
00:43:51,324 --> 00:43:54,283
<i>♪ It'’s fine for you ♪</i>

857
00:43:54,457 --> 00:43:57,069
<i>♪ It'’s fine to flirt ♪</i>

858
00:43:57,243 --> 00:44:00,333
<i>♪ And, God, you'’re hot! ♪</i>

859
00:44:00,507 --> 00:44:03,292
<i>♪ Why do you even
Wear a shirt?♪</i>

860
00:44:03,466 --> 00:44:07,340
<i>♪ No, it'’s fine ♪</i>

861
00:44:07,514 --> 00:44:09,472
<i>♪ Damn, you'’re fine! ♪</i>

862
00:44:09,647 --> 00:44:14,695
<i>♪ And it'’s fine ♪</i>

863
00:44:14,869 --> 00:44:16,001
<i>♪ Till someone gets... ♪</i>

864
00:44:44,638 --> 00:44:47,859
She took him back.
She took Aaron back.

865
00:44:48,033 --> 00:44:49,861
Of course she did.

866
00:44:50,035 --> 00:44:52,646
It'’s because Regina'’s
a life ruiner!

867
00:44:52,820 --> 00:44:54,213
When we were in sixth grade,
she told everybody

868
00:44:54,387 --> 00:44:55,823
that Janis was... Damian!

869
00:44:55,997 --> 00:44:57,869
Okay. She does not need
to hear that right now.

870
00:44:58,043 --> 00:45:00,088
No, I know the story.

871
00:45:00,262 --> 00:45:02,743
You lit a fire '’cause Regina
got a boyfriend.

872
00:45:02,917 --> 00:45:04,310
She said what?

873
00:45:04,484 --> 00:45:05,746
Oh, hell no.

874
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:09,184
Damian... No! The truth
will be told.

875
00:45:09,358 --> 00:45:10,533
Stay with me, Cady.

876
00:45:15,103 --> 00:45:18,454
Like all history,
this is emotionally layered
and culturally dense.

877
00:45:22,328 --> 00:45:24,852
Janis and Regina were
best friends in middle school.

878
00:45:25,026 --> 00:45:29,030
And at that time, females
expressed their identities
through collectible plushies.

879
00:45:29,204 --> 00:45:30,815
I don'’t know what those...

880
00:45:30,989 --> 00:45:35,080
It'’s these bastards.
And they were everywhere.

881
00:45:35,254 --> 00:45:38,692
Regina gave Janis a BFF set
for her birthday.

882
00:45:38,866 --> 00:45:40,912
Janis put a rainbow patch
on hers.

883
00:45:41,086 --> 00:45:42,740
This is how she came out
to her friend.

884
00:45:42,914 --> 00:45:44,219
And Regina put one
on hers, too,

885
00:45:44,393 --> 00:45:47,048
out of allyship because
she used to be human.

886
00:45:47,222 --> 00:45:51,966
Cut to eight months later,
Regina becomes obsessed
with this gross boy. Kyle!

887
00:45:52,140 --> 00:45:54,490
Your scale is
- completely off.
- Hush!

888
00:45:56,492 --> 00:45:58,625
One night, they were
all playing spin the bottle...

889
00:45:58,799 --> 00:46:01,628
And Regina was worried
that Kyle liked Karen more.

890
00:46:01,802 --> 00:46:05,066
So when she spun
and got Janis,

891
00:46:05,937 --> 00:46:07,460
Regina put on a little show.

892
00:46:11,072 --> 00:46:12,421
And Kyle was like "boing"!

893
00:46:12,595 --> 00:46:13,858
And Regina was like...

894
00:46:14,032 --> 00:46:15,250
..."I knew she would let me!

895
00:46:15,424 --> 00:46:17,731
She'’s, like,
obsessed with me!"

896
00:46:17,905 --> 00:46:19,167
Not okay.

897
00:46:19,341 --> 00:46:21,126
Please put this all back
in its box.

898
00:46:21,300 --> 00:46:22,954
They got into a huge fight.

899
00:46:23,128 --> 00:46:24,912
Regina started avoiding Janis
at school,

900
00:46:25,086 --> 00:46:26,784
but did she give back
that plush animal?

901
00:46:26,958 --> 00:46:29,699
Oh, no.
She took it everywhere.

902
00:46:29,874 --> 00:46:32,528
She named her "Sissy Liz"
and she made everyone say

903
00:46:32,702 --> 00:46:33,878
"good morning" to it
every day,

904
00:46:34,052 --> 00:46:35,270
and it was very weird
and boring.

905
00:46:35,444 --> 00:46:36,576
Fast forward.

906
00:46:36,750 --> 00:46:38,491
One day in Science,

907
00:46:38,665 --> 00:46:41,189
Regina was making everyone
say hi to Sissy Liz.

908
00:46:41,363 --> 00:46:43,191
And Janis finally heard it.

909
00:46:43,365 --> 00:46:45,803
"Sissy Liz" was short
for "Obsessed Lesbian."

910
00:46:45,977 --> 00:46:48,893
Regina had been making fun
of Janis this entire time

911
00:46:49,067 --> 00:46:50,329
and everyone but her knew it.

912
00:46:51,417 --> 00:46:53,506
So, and this is regrettable...

913
00:46:55,943 --> 00:46:57,292
Janis took
her Bunsen burner...

914
00:46:59,251 --> 00:47:01,775
and torched the doll.

915
00:47:01,949 --> 00:47:04,082
And Regina'’s backpack
caught on fire a little bit

916
00:47:04,256 --> 00:47:07,259
and Janis was kicked
out of school
for the remainder of the year.

917
00:47:07,433 --> 00:47:09,739
And the adults
didn'’t know why.

918
00:47:09,914 --> 00:47:12,220
Janis just seemed crazy.

919
00:47:14,657 --> 00:47:16,529
I'’m really sorry
that happened.

920
00:47:18,531 --> 00:47:20,054
It'’s worse than my thing.

921
00:47:21,621 --> 00:47:23,144
Caddy, don'’t be sorry.

922
00:47:23,318 --> 00:47:26,495
Now you know Regina George
is not your friend.

923
00:47:26,669 --> 00:47:28,323
We are your friends.

924
00:47:28,497 --> 00:47:29,934
And we'’re gonna
make her pay.

925
00:47:33,894 --> 00:47:34,939
<i>♪ You know what friends do? ♪</i>

926
00:47:35,113 --> 00:47:36,984
<i>♪ They got your back ♪</i>

927
00:47:37,158 --> 00:47:39,900
<i>♪ And they are fun
To be around</i>♪<i>♪ Whoa ♪</i>

928
00:47:40,074 --> 00:47:42,120
<i>♪ When someone hurts you
Then they attack ♪</i>

929
00:47:42,294 --> 00:47:44,644
<i>♪ And grind your foe
Into the ground!♪</i>

930
00:47:44,818 --> 00:47:46,559
<i>♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪</i>

931
00:47:46,733 --> 00:47:49,083
<i>♪ Imagine a party
With dresses and cake ♪</i>

932
00:47:49,257 --> 00:47:52,043
<i>♪ And singing and dancing
And cake ♪</i>

933
00:47:52,217 --> 00:47:55,437
<i>♪ And there'’s a magic act
That saws Regina in half ♪</i>

934
00:47:55,611 --> 00:47:59,093
<i>♪ And this time
It'’ll take</i>♪

935
00:47:59,267 --> 00:48:03,271
Now that'’s a party!<i>♪ It'’s a revenge party
A party that ends ♪</i>

936
00:48:03,445 --> 00:48:05,534
<i>♪ With somebody'’s head
On a spike ♪</i>

937
00:48:05,708 --> 00:48:09,495
<i>♪ It'’s a revenge party
With your two best friends ♪</i>

938
00:48:09,669 --> 00:48:12,280
<i>♪ It'’s like a party
With revenge
Is what it'’s like ♪</i>

939
00:48:13,847 --> 00:48:15,109
Caddy, in order
for this to work,

940
00:48:15,283 --> 00:48:16,676
you need to act
like a huge phony.

941
00:48:16,850 --> 00:48:18,199
Can you do it?

942
00:48:18,373 --> 00:48:19,331
I... I think so.

943
00:48:19,505 --> 00:48:21,289
Practice.

944
00:48:21,463 --> 00:48:24,336
Regina wanted me to tell you
that she tried
to talk to Aaron,

945
00:48:24,510 --> 00:48:27,513
but he just wanted her back,
and that'’s not Regina'’s fault.

946
00:48:27,687 --> 00:48:29,341
Of course. Oh, my gosh.

947
00:48:30,255 --> 00:48:31,604
Love ya. See you at lunch.

948
00:48:31,778 --> 00:48:34,520
- Perfect!
- On to phase two.

949
00:48:34,694 --> 00:48:36,957
<i>♪ I'’ll bring
The glow sticks ♪</i>

950
00:48:37,131 --> 00:48:39,873
<i>♪ I'’ll bring balloons
And we'’ll have
Chocolate ice cream cones ♪</i>

951
00:48:40,047 --> 00:48:41,657
<i>♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪</i>

952
00:48:41,831 --> 00:48:44,182
<i>♪ I'’ll be the DJ
Spinnin'’ the tunes ♪</i>

953
00:48:44,356 --> 00:48:47,272
<i>♪ On a turntable made
Of her bones ♪</i>

954
00:48:47,446 --> 00:48:50,536
<i>♪ We'’ll get a piñata
'’Cause that would be fun ♪</i>

955
00:48:50,710 --> 00:48:52,103
<i>♪ And play dress up
And Barbies ♪</i>

956
00:48:52,277 --> 00:48:53,756
<i>♪ And tag ♪</i>

957
00:48:53,931 --> 00:48:55,149
<i>♪ And we'’ll roll on the grass ♪</i>

958
00:48:55,323 --> 00:48:57,021
<i>♪ And stare up at the sun ♪</i>

959
00:48:57,195 --> 00:48:59,893
<i>♪ Then we'’ll stuff her remains
In a bag ♪</i>

960
00:49:00,067 --> 00:49:01,677
<i>♪ And throw '’em in the river! ♪</i>

961
00:49:01,851 --> 00:49:04,985
<i>♪ A revenge party
A party that ends ♪</i>

962
00:49:05,159 --> 00:49:07,727
<i>♪ With entrails
All over the lawn ♪</i>

963
00:49:07,901 --> 00:49:10,948
<i>♪ A revenge party
With your two best friends ♪</i>

964
00:49:11,122 --> 00:49:13,428
<i>♪ And I end up with Aaron
When she'’s gone ♪</i>

965
00:49:13,602 --> 00:49:15,778
Yes, bitch!

966
00:49:17,389 --> 00:49:19,739
I end up with Aaron
when she'’s gone.

967
00:49:20,348 --> 00:49:21,654
Yes, bitch.

968
00:49:31,229 --> 00:49:32,491
I think I need a tutor.

969
00:49:32,665 --> 00:49:34,884
I could tutor you,
if you want.

970
00:49:36,408 --> 00:49:38,323
<i>♪ What'’s Regina doin'’? ♪</i>

971
00:49:38,497 --> 00:49:39,759
<i>♪ What'’s Regina wearin'’? ♪</i>

972
00:49:39,933 --> 00:49:42,022
<i>♪ Is she back with Aaron? ♪</i>

973
00:49:42,196 --> 00:49:45,852
<i>♪ Regina! Regina!
She has everything
She gets everything ♪</i>

974
00:49:47,506 --> 00:49:49,247
<i>♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪</i>

975
00:49:50,291 --> 00:49:51,379
What is that?

976
00:49:51,553 --> 00:49:53,033
Ugh, I'’m so fat
and disgusting.

977
00:49:53,207 --> 00:49:54,382
I'’m not having anything

978
00:49:54,556 --> 00:49:56,167
but Kaälteen bars
until I lose weight.

979
00:49:56,341 --> 00:49:57,777
Well, I need
to lose three pounds.

980
00:49:57,951 --> 00:49:58,908
How many calories from fat?

981
00:49:59,083 --> 00:50:00,171
Zero.

982
00:50:00,345 --> 00:50:02,042
You cross-multiply x
over a thousand

983
00:50:02,216 --> 00:50:03,870
and divide it by 0.5
because it'’s in kilograms.

984
00:50:04,044 --> 00:50:06,438
Whatever.
Bring me a whole box.

985
00:50:06,612 --> 00:50:08,701
No, um, bring me two.

986
00:50:15,795 --> 00:50:18,972
<i>♪ A revenge party
A party that ends ♪</i>

987
00:50:19,146 --> 00:50:21,714
<i>♪ With somebody crushed
And alone</i>♪<i>♪ And ugly-crying! ♪</i>

988
00:50:21,888 --> 00:50:24,978
<i>♪ A revenge party
With your two best friends ♪</i>

989
00:50:25,152 --> 00:50:27,415
<i>♪ It'’s like a party
With revenge
Is what we'’re throwin'’!♪</i>

990
00:50:44,432 --> 00:50:46,217
<i>♪ What'’s Regina eating? ♪</i>

991
00:50:46,391 --> 00:50:48,045
<i>♪ God, look at her figure ♪</i>

992
00:50:48,219 --> 00:50:50,786
<i>♪ Did her boobs get bigger?
Regina! Regina!♪</i>

993
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:52,614
<i>♪ She has everything! ♪</i>

994
00:50:52,788 --> 00:50:54,790
<i>♪ She gets everything! ♪</i>

995
00:50:54,964 --> 00:50:57,402
<i>♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪</i>

996
00:51:01,536 --> 00:51:04,278
Six weeks and all we'’ve done
is make Regina hotter
and revive the wet look.

997
00:51:04,452 --> 00:51:06,237
We have to pivot.

998
00:51:06,411 --> 00:51:08,848
If we can make
Gretchen Wieners think
that Regina is mad at her...

999
00:51:09,022 --> 00:51:10,676
No, no, no.
Gretchen is fragile.

1000
00:51:10,850 --> 00:51:12,721
Exactly!

1001
00:51:12,895 --> 00:51:14,462
If we crack her open,
maybe she'’ll spill
something we can use.

1002
00:51:22,470 --> 00:51:24,342
<i>♪ Party ♪</i>

1003
00:51:24,516 --> 00:51:26,866
Hey, girl, you sending
any candy canes this year?

1004
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:29,912
Oh.
I don'’t send them.
I just get them.

1005
00:51:31,479 --> 00:51:33,873
Um, stop pulling it down.

1006
00:51:34,047 --> 00:51:36,093
Your hair looks so sexy
pushed back.

1007
00:51:37,224 --> 00:51:38,834
Cady, would you
please tell him

1008
00:51:39,008 --> 00:51:41,054
that his hair looks sexy
pushed back?

1009
00:51:42,708 --> 00:51:44,536
Your hair looks sexy
pushed back.

1010
00:51:44,710 --> 00:51:45,754
Oh...

1011
00:51:51,369 --> 00:51:52,370
Thanks.

1012
00:51:56,374 --> 00:51:58,376
I'’ll, uh, see you in Calc.

1013
00:52:00,552 --> 00:52:03,120
<i>♪ At every party
There might be a low ♪</i>

1014
00:52:03,294 --> 00:52:06,775
<i>♪ Where the energy dips♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪</i>

1015
00:52:06,949 --> 00:52:13,652
<i>♪ You might be thinking
"It'’s late, we should go
And they ran out of chips"♪</i>

1016
00:52:13,826 --> 00:52:17,438
<i>♪ No! I can'’t even watch
When she touches his hair ♪</i>

1017
00:52:17,612 --> 00:52:20,137
<i>♪ And I'’ve watched a snake
Eat a cow ♪</i>

1018
00:52:20,311 --> 00:52:23,749
<i>♪ Regina needs to be toppled
Sorry, Gretchen, I swear ♪</i>

1019
00:52:23,923 --> 00:52:26,839
<i>♪ We'’ll get our party now! ♪</i>

1020
00:52:27,013 --> 00:52:29,058
One candy cane, please!

1021
00:52:31,583 --> 00:52:34,847
<i>♪ A revenge party
A party that ends ♪</i>

1022
00:52:35,021 --> 00:52:37,066
<i>♪ With lions in a Roman arena ♪</i>

1023
00:52:37,241 --> 00:52:39,982
<i>♪ She has everything!
She gets everything!♪</i>

1024
00:52:41,375 --> 00:52:42,985
<i>♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪</i>

1025
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:44,813
Ho, ho, ho!

1026
00:52:44,987 --> 00:52:47,076
Candy Cane Gram
for Shane Oman!

1027
00:52:47,251 --> 00:52:48,469
<i>♪ She has everything! ♪</i>

1028
00:52:48,643 --> 00:52:50,558
And one for Cady Heron.

1029
00:52:50,732 --> 00:52:51,907
<i>♪ She gets everything! ♪</i>

1030
00:52:52,081 --> 00:52:53,953
Four for Glen Coco?

1031
00:52:54,127 --> 00:52:55,911
You go, Glen Coco!

1032
00:52:56,085 --> 00:52:58,044
<i>♪ Glen Coco!
Glen Coco! Glen Coco!♪</i>

1033
00:52:59,393 --> 00:53:03,005
And... none
for Gretchen Wieners, bye.

1034
00:53:03,789 --> 00:53:04,746
Who sent that?

1035
00:53:04,920 --> 00:53:06,052
Oh, it'’s from...

1036
00:53:06,226 --> 00:53:08,185
<i>♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪</i>

1037
00:53:08,359 --> 00:53:11,449
"Thanks for being
such a great best friend."

1038
00:53:11,623 --> 00:53:12,537
Aw.

1039
00:53:13,451 --> 00:53:14,669
Oh.

1040
00:53:15,844 --> 00:53:16,932
Okay.

1041
00:53:18,456 --> 00:53:20,197
If you and Regina are
"best friends" now,

1042
00:53:20,371 --> 00:53:23,112
then you can be in charge of
keeping all her secrets, okay?

1043
00:53:23,287 --> 00:53:26,115
For example, she gave you
those high-heel shoes
just to make fun of you

1044
00:53:26,290 --> 00:53:29,206
because she knew
you wouldn'’t be able
to walk in them. Sorry!

1045
00:53:29,380 --> 00:53:32,034
Also, she says
she has a nose job,

1046
00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:33,601
but that'’s just to distract
from the fact

1047
00:53:33,775 --> 00:53:36,125
that she had one
of her ears moved!

1048
00:53:36,300 --> 00:53:38,824
Also, she totally cheats
on Aaron.

1049
00:53:38,998 --> 00:53:41,783
Yeah. Every Tuesday,
she says she has College Prep,

1050
00:53:41,957 --> 00:53:43,437
but really she'’s hooking up
with Shane Oman

1051
00:53:43,611 --> 00:53:45,309
in the third-floor
janitorial closet

1052
00:53:45,483 --> 00:53:48,137
on the bags of sawdust
that they use for barf!

1053
00:53:48,312 --> 00:53:50,314
<i>And I never told anyone</i>

1054
00:53:50,488 --> 00:53:52,490
<i>because I'’m such
a good friend!</i>

1055
00:53:54,666 --> 00:53:57,408
And I'’m only telling you
because you'’re such
a good friend.

1056
00:54:04,328 --> 00:54:06,068
<i>♪ It'’s a revenge party ♪</i>

1057
00:54:06,243 --> 00:54:07,766
<i>♪ A party that ends ♪</i>

1058
00:54:07,940 --> 00:54:10,508
<i>♪ With somebody'’s head
On a spike!♪</i>

1059
00:54:10,682 --> 00:54:13,554
<i>♪ A revenge party
With your two best friends ♪</i>

1060
00:54:13,728 --> 00:54:17,297
<i>♪ It'’s like a party
With revenge
Is what it'’s like ♪</i>

1061
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:38,362
<i>♪ A party with revenge
Is what it'’s like ♪</i>

1062
00:54:39,580 --> 00:54:42,583
<i>♪ A party with revenge ♪</i>

1063
00:54:42,757 --> 00:54:46,761
<i>♪ With revenge ♪</i>

1064
00:54:46,935 --> 00:54:48,154
<i>♪ Is what it'’s like! ♪</i>

1065
00:55:00,949 --> 00:55:03,735
Hey, do you have time to go
over derivatives for a minute?

1066
00:55:04,518 --> 00:55:06,651
Oh, um... no, not today.

1067
00:55:09,349 --> 00:55:10,350
Cady?

1068
00:55:12,700 --> 00:55:14,441
Um...

1069
00:55:14,615 --> 00:55:16,748
You'’ve failed
your last five quizzes.
Is everything okay?

1070
00:55:16,922 --> 00:55:19,403
I'’m... I'’m sorry.
I'’ll just try harder.

1071
00:55:19,577 --> 00:55:21,187
Okay, because
if you need extra help,

1072
00:55:21,361 --> 00:55:23,276
there'’s a Mathletes meeting
starting in a couple minutes.

1073
00:55:23,450 --> 00:55:25,583
I can'’t. I'’m sorry.
I have to go
to my friend Regina'’s house.

1074
00:55:25,757 --> 00:55:27,672
We'’re doing a dance
in the talent show.

1075
00:55:27,846 --> 00:55:30,065
"Rockin'’ Around
- the Pole"?
- Yeah, how did you know?

1076
00:55:30,239 --> 00:55:32,024
They do it every year.
It'’s like a...

1077
00:55:32,198 --> 00:55:33,852
- Tradition?
- Recurring nightmare.

1078
00:55:35,114 --> 00:55:37,508
Okay, I could probably
get Kevin to tutor you.

1079
00:55:37,682 --> 00:55:39,510
Well, Aaron'’s tutoring me now,
so...

1080
00:55:39,684 --> 00:55:42,208
Oh, he'’s tutoring you?
Sure, okay, well,

1081
00:55:42,382 --> 00:55:44,602
let Aaron know that the weird
thing with your quizzes

1082
00:55:44,776 --> 00:55:47,779
is that all the work is right
and only the answers are wrong.

1083
00:55:47,953 --> 00:55:50,172
- Huh.
- Huh.

1084
00:55:50,347 --> 00:55:53,175
Cady, I am not gonna
stop pushing you,
because I'’m a pusher.

1085
00:55:53,350 --> 00:55:55,395
And I know you'’re smarter
than this.

1086
00:55:55,569 --> 00:55:59,791
Maybe I should just push
your seat away from Aaron'’s.

1087
00:55:59,965 --> 00:56:02,750
Ugh! And she was like,
"I'’m a pusher, Cady.
I'’m a pusher."

1088
00:56:02,924 --> 00:56:05,100
Wait, what does she even mean,
she'’s a "pusher"?

1089
00:56:05,274 --> 00:56:09,540
- Like a drug pusher?
- I don'’t know.
She'’s so weird.

1090
00:56:09,714 --> 00:56:12,456
Let it all out, honey.
Put it in the book.

1091
00:56:15,241 --> 00:56:17,374
Look at this thing!

1092
00:56:18,940 --> 00:56:21,900
- I can'’t even see it.
- It'’s sexy,
like a face breast.

1093
00:56:22,074 --> 00:56:25,425
It happens to me, too.
It'’s just the Kaälteen bars
flushing your toxins.

1094
00:56:25,599 --> 00:56:26,948
Huh. Okay.

1095
00:56:27,122 --> 00:56:29,124
Well, this skin stuff
you gave me sucks!

1096
00:56:29,777 --> 00:56:31,083
Where did you get it?

1097
00:56:40,527 --> 00:56:41,615
The Paris airport.

1098
00:56:41,789 --> 00:56:42,964
Oh, "the Paris airport."

1099
00:56:43,138 --> 00:56:44,923
Well, it'’s garbage.
And so are you.

1100
00:56:47,839 --> 00:56:50,232
She'’s just grouchy
because Aaron
broke up with her.

1101
00:56:50,407 --> 00:56:51,799
He did?

1102
00:56:51,973 --> 00:56:53,453
Someone told him
about Shane.

1103
00:56:54,367 --> 00:56:56,021
Do you think it was Santa?

1104
00:56:57,152 --> 00:56:59,067
Oh...

1105
00:56:59,241 --> 00:57:01,853
Also,
all that she'’s been eating
are those Kaälteen bars,

1106
00:57:02,027 --> 00:57:03,898
and I don'’t think she'’s pooped
in, like, two weeks.

1107
00:57:04,072 --> 00:57:05,596
Uh...

1108
00:57:05,770 --> 00:57:07,424
Hey, G, we'’ve practiced
a bunch with Cady.

1109
00:57:07,598 --> 00:57:08,642
You want to run it once?

1110
00:57:08,816 --> 00:57:10,775
Why? I'’m perfect every year.

1111
00:57:10,949 --> 00:57:12,254
Mm-hmm.

1112
00:57:12,429 --> 00:57:14,474
Yeah, but it'’s,
uh, Cady'’s first time

1113
00:57:14,648 --> 00:57:16,476
and there'’s a bunch
of traffic patterns...

1114
00:57:16,650 --> 00:57:19,305
Stop playing with
that stupid babyish book!

1115
00:57:25,529 --> 00:57:28,445
<i>♪ All things are meant to be ♪</i>

1116
00:57:28,619 --> 00:57:30,272
<i>♪ So ♪</i>

1117
00:57:30,447 --> 00:57:32,318
<i>♪ Give me your best ♪</i>

1118
00:57:33,406 --> 00:57:35,234
<i>♪ And leave me ♪</i>

1119
00:57:35,408 --> 00:57:36,888
<i>♪ The rest ♪</i>

1120
00:57:39,020 --> 00:57:42,502
<i>♪ Leave it all to me ♪</i>

1121
00:57:43,677 --> 00:57:45,636
<i>♪ Leave it all to me ♪</i>

1122
00:57:47,464 --> 00:57:51,163
<i>♪ Leave it all to me ♪</i>

1123
00:57:51,337 --> 00:57:54,775
<i>♪ Leave it all ♪</i>

1124
00:57:54,949 --> 00:57:56,560
<i>♪ To ♪</i>

1125
00:57:57,909 --> 00:58:02,479
<i>♪ Me ♪</i>

1126
00:58:04,437 --> 00:58:06,483
Uh, that was
Damian Hubbard singing...

1127
00:58:06,657 --> 00:58:08,963
...the <i>iCarly</i> theme song

1128
00:58:09,137 --> 00:58:10,617
in French for extra credit.

1129
00:58:10,791 --> 00:58:11,792
Yeah!

1130
00:58:13,490 --> 00:58:15,796
Our next act describes
their music

1131
00:58:15,970 --> 00:58:19,191
as "Like a sine wave,
they don'’t stop."

1132
00:58:19,365 --> 00:58:22,629
Please welcome Kevin G
and the Power of Three.

1133
00:58:22,803 --> 00:58:24,849
Uh. Yeah.

1134
00:58:25,023 --> 00:58:27,199
<i>♪ All you ♪</i>

1135
00:58:27,373 --> 00:58:29,331
<i>♪ Suckah emcees
Ain'’t got nothin'’ on me ♪</i>

1136
00:58:29,506 --> 00:58:31,595
<i>♪ From my grades to my rhymes
You can'’t touch Kevin G ♪</i>

1137
00:58:31,769 --> 00:58:32,857
<i>♪ I'’m a Mathlete ♪</i>

1138
00:58:33,031 --> 00:58:34,859
<i>♪ So good under pressure ♪</i>

1139
00:58:35,033 --> 00:58:36,687
<i>♪ I'’ma find acute angles
To prioritize your pleasure ♪</i>

1140
00:58:36,861 --> 00:58:39,080
<i>♪ I'’m a Model UN rep
Out in these streets ♪</i>

1141
00:58:39,254 --> 00:58:41,300
<i>♪ But I'’m a overachiever
Under the sheets ♪</i>

1142
00:58:41,474 --> 00:58:43,911
<i>♪ She be like
"Uhhhh, Kevin G!"♪</i>

1143
00:58:44,085 --> 00:58:45,391
Inappropriate.

1144
00:58:45,565 --> 00:58:46,914
Kevin, we talked about this.

1145
00:58:47,088 --> 00:58:49,395
Well,
happy holidays, everybody.

1146
00:58:51,745 --> 00:58:54,139
Why is this so tight?

1147
00:58:54,313 --> 00:58:55,880
You'’ve had it
since the sixth grade.

1148
00:58:56,054 --> 00:58:57,969
You'’re probably maturing.

1149
00:58:58,143 --> 00:59:00,754
Um, do you just,
like, want to run it one time
real quick?

1150
00:59:00,928 --> 00:59:04,105
Gretchen,
literally no one cares.

1151
00:59:04,279 --> 00:59:06,238
Mm-hmm. No, totally.

1152
00:59:06,412 --> 00:59:08,501
Um, do you just want
to run the acro?

1153
00:59:08,675 --> 00:59:10,677
Because none of us really does
gymnastics anymore

1154
00:59:10,851 --> 00:59:12,897
and when we made up this dance,
we all weighed, like, 70 pounds,

1155
00:59:13,071 --> 00:59:16,030
so maybe we should
just make sure everyone'’s
center of gravity is still...

1156
00:59:16,204 --> 00:59:17,336
Still what?

1157
00:59:18,598 --> 00:59:19,512
Nothing.

1158
00:59:27,041 --> 00:59:30,567
Thank you,
Shelby and Timmy, for tapping.

1159
00:59:30,741 --> 00:59:32,612
Also, if anyone finds
a retainer

1160
00:59:32,786 --> 00:59:35,876
in a bright aqua case,
that is mine.

1161
00:59:36,050 --> 00:59:37,399
Please return it.

1162
00:59:37,574 --> 00:59:39,576
My insurance won'’t cover
a replacement.

1163
00:59:40,925 --> 00:59:42,666
Karen, I can see your bra.

1164
00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:44,581
It'’s on purpose.
I'’m going for a look.

1165
00:59:44,755 --> 00:59:46,408
Is it "girl
who slept with 11 people"?

1166
00:59:46,583 --> 00:59:47,671
'’Cause you'’re nailing it.

1167
00:59:49,629 --> 00:59:52,458
- I think your top is fetch.
- Gretchen!

1168
00:59:52,632 --> 00:59:54,460
Stop trying
to make "fetch" happen.

1169
00:59:54,634 --> 00:59:57,463
It'’s not going to happen.

1170
01:00:01,206 --> 01:00:03,774
Okay,
please welcome Santa'’s Helpers

1171
01:00:03,948 --> 01:00:05,732
doing "Rockin'’
Around the Pole."

1172
01:00:15,873 --> 01:00:18,092
<i>♪ We'’re gonna
Take a Christmas train ♪</i>

1173
01:00:18,266 --> 01:00:20,181
<i>♪ To where Santa lives ♪</i>

1174
01:00:20,355 --> 01:00:23,315
<i>♪ Up through the sleet
And snow ♪</i>

1175
01:00:23,489 --> 01:00:26,666
<i>♪ Then we'’ll hop and bop
Straight to the top ♪</i>

1176
01:00:26,840 --> 01:00:29,451
<i>♪ Last stop the North Pole ♪</i>

1177
01:00:31,540 --> 01:00:34,935
<i>♪ And we'’ll be rock, rock
Rockin'’ around the pole ♪</i>

1178
01:00:35,109 --> 01:00:37,938
<i>♪ Where the northern lights
Are bright ♪</i>

1179
01:00:38,112 --> 01:00:41,638
<i>♪ Rock, rock, rockin'’
Around the pole ♪</i>

1180
01:00:41,812 --> 01:00:44,771
<i>♪ We'’ll rock that pole
All night ♪</i>

1181
01:00:44,945 --> 01:00:47,948
<i>♪ And we'’ll be sing, sing
Singin'’ a Christmas tune ♪</i>

1182
01:00:48,122 --> 01:00:49,602
Thank you, next!

1183
01:00:51,386 --> 01:00:54,999
<i>♪ Yeah, we'’ll be rock
Rock, rockin'’ up on that pole ♪</i>

1184
01:00:55,173 --> 01:00:57,958
<i>♪ Rockin'’ till the break
Of day ♪</i>

1185
01:00:58,132 --> 01:01:01,005
<i>♪ Yeah, we'’ll be rockin'’
Stuffin'’ a stockin'’♪</i>

1186
01:01:01,179 --> 01:01:04,182
<i>♪ And they'’ll be talkin'’
About us in town ♪</i>

1187
01:01:04,356 --> 01:01:06,445
<i>♪ Yeah, we'’ll be rockin'’ ♪</i>

1188
01:01:06,619 --> 01:01:08,316
<i>♪ And rollin'’ and lockin'’
And strollin'’</i>♪

1189
01:01:08,490 --> 01:01:11,885
<i>♪ Till the North Pole police
Come shut us down ♪</i>

1190
01:01:33,820 --> 01:01:36,736
So, I went
to the Christmas show
and it was a mess, y'’all.

1191
01:01:36,910 --> 01:01:38,564
Regina ate total shit.

1192
01:01:38,738 --> 01:01:40,305
I think people saw her nipple.

1193
01:01:40,479 --> 01:01:41,610
It'’s just unprofessional.

1194
01:01:41,785 --> 01:01:43,221
This was kind of hilarious.

1195
01:01:45,571 --> 01:01:47,094
<i>I'’ve watched</i>

1196
01:01:47,268 --> 01:01:50,489
<i>this video a thousand times.</i> Gretchen piledrived Regina.

1197
01:01:50,663 --> 01:01:52,143
Regina really should be
lifting through her glutes.

1198
01:01:52,317 --> 01:01:54,188
Regina challenge!

1199
01:01:54,362 --> 01:01:55,799
<i>You know
what that bitch gets?</i>

1200
01:01:55,973 --> 01:01:57,191
<i>Not my sympathy.</i>

1201
01:01:57,365 --> 01:01:58,671
It'’s not like
we like Regina anyway.

1202
01:01:58,845 --> 01:02:00,542
She'’s such a bitch.
She'’s so spoiled.

1203
01:02:00,717 --> 01:02:02,806
<i>Regina always wanted
to be the center of attention.</i>

1204
01:02:02,980 --> 01:02:04,982
<i>Girl, we all see you.</i>

1205
01:02:05,156 --> 01:02:07,027
Regina got what she deserves.

1206
01:02:07,201 --> 01:02:08,855
But you know, that Cady girl
was kind of cute.

1207
01:02:09,029 --> 01:02:09,943
You know, she stayed,
she waved.

1208
01:02:10,117 --> 01:02:12,337
She ate, like, house down.

1209
01:02:12,511 --> 01:02:14,252
Cady Heron was the only one
that acted normal.

1210
01:02:14,426 --> 01:02:15,775
<i>Oh, yeah.</i>
<i>I think she salvaged</i>

1211
01:02:15,949 --> 01:02:17,472
<i>the worst tradition
of the year.</i>

1212
01:02:17,646 --> 01:02:19,431
<i>Period.</i> She was... She'’s kind of hot.

1213
01:02:19,605 --> 01:02:21,433
She might even be hotter
than Regina George.

1214
01:02:21,607 --> 01:02:24,305
No zits. Gum health.
American Eagle.

1215
01:02:24,479 --> 01:02:25,916
Cady doesn'’t even have
to wear deodorant.

1216
01:02:26,090 --> 01:02:27,526
I'’m thinking of going red.

1217
01:02:27,700 --> 01:02:28,962
Okay, so, somebody sent me
this look, and I was like,

1218
01:02:29,136 --> 01:02:31,486
"Hot girls,
we are going back to red!

1219
01:02:32,879 --> 01:02:34,576
Thank you, Cady Heron.

1220
01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:36,361
<i>Cady was looking good.</i>

1221
01:02:37,884 --> 01:02:39,146
Caddy!

1222
01:02:40,147 --> 01:02:41,670
Did you hear me?

1223
01:02:41,845 --> 01:02:44,238
- What?
- We did it.

1224
01:02:44,412 --> 01:02:45,718
Regina lost
her hot boyfriend.

1225
01:02:45,892 --> 01:02:47,154
She lost her status
over everyone.

1226
01:02:47,328 --> 01:02:48,765
She popped her blemish
against the stage floor.

1227
01:02:48,939 --> 01:02:50,201
That'’s rock bottom.

1228
01:02:51,158 --> 01:02:53,160
We can stop. We'’re even.

1229
01:02:53,334 --> 01:02:55,075
Finally you don'’t have
to talk to them anymore.

1230
01:02:55,249 --> 01:02:57,338
We can finally
have lunch together tomorrow.

1231
01:02:57,512 --> 01:02:58,949
I'’m getting dumplings.

1232
01:02:59,123 --> 01:03:00,733
Unless they have pizza bagels,
then I might get both.

1233
01:03:00,907 --> 01:03:02,474
- So good.
- I can'’t.

1234
01:03:04,737 --> 01:03:06,608
I need one more lunch.

1235
01:03:30,371 --> 01:03:33,026
I'’m sorry, Regina.
You can'’t sit with us.

1236
01:03:35,289 --> 01:03:36,813
What?

1237
01:03:38,118 --> 01:03:40,686
You'’re wearing sweatpants.
It'’s Thursday.

1238
01:03:41,774 --> 01:03:43,384
Whatever.
Those rules aren'’t real.

1239
01:03:43,558 --> 01:03:44,951
They were real
that day I wore a vest.

1240
01:03:45,125 --> 01:03:46,561
Yeah, because that vest
was disgusting!

1241
01:03:46,735 --> 01:03:48,955
You can'’t sit with us!

1242
01:04:01,968 --> 01:04:04,275
These sweatpants
are all that fit me right now.

1243
01:04:07,756 --> 01:04:08,932
What do you think, Cady?

1244
01:04:16,026 --> 01:04:19,768
Sorry, Regina.
Rules are rules.

1245
01:04:21,814 --> 01:04:22,859
Fine.

1246
01:04:25,252 --> 01:04:28,081
Oh.

1247
01:04:30,475 --> 01:04:32,390
Take a picture, losers.
It'’ll last longer.

1248
01:04:41,094 --> 01:04:42,704
And that......was the beginning...

1249
01:04:42,879 --> 01:04:43,575
...of the......mother#*#*#*#*#*#*#*

1250
01:04:43,749 --> 01:04:45,229
...end.

1251
01:04:48,928 --> 01:04:50,321
<i>Hello,
may I have your attention</i>

1252
01:04:50,495 --> 01:04:51,888
<i>for this morning'’s
announcements?</i>

1253
01:04:53,454 --> 01:04:55,065
<i>In honor
of Women'’s History Month,</i>

1254
01:04:55,239 --> 01:04:58,633
<i>the cafeteria is offering
vegan "Confident Joannes"</i>

1255
01:04:58,807 --> 01:05:01,201
<i>which are Sloppy Joes
made of beans.</i>

1256
01:05:03,464 --> 01:05:05,205
<i>Secondly, we want
to wish good luck</i>

1257
01:05:05,379 --> 01:05:07,555
<i>to junior, Janis '’Imi'’ike...</i>

1258
01:05:07,729 --> 01:05:09,035
<i>...who is a finalist</i>

1259
01:05:09,209 --> 01:05:11,559
<i>in the Illinois Art Expo
this Saturday.</i>

1260
01:05:11,733 --> 01:05:14,040
<i>Go, Lions! Even for Art.</i>

1261
01:05:14,214 --> 01:05:15,868
Art, art, art! <i>Next up,</i>

1262
01:05:16,042 --> 01:05:18,262
<i>the Students Activities
Committee voted,</i>

1263
01:05:18,436 --> 01:05:20,090
<i>and the theme for
this year'’s Spring Fling...</i>

1264
01:05:20,264 --> 01:05:22,527
- What'’s that lip color?
- Oh, it'’s e.l.f. O Face in...

1265
01:05:22,701 --> 01:05:24,050
No, amazing, yeah.

1266
01:05:24,224 --> 01:05:25,747
I was just making sure
your ears still worked.

1267
01:05:25,922 --> 01:05:30,404
<i>And finally, the nominees for
Spring Fling King and Queen</i>

1268
01:05:30,578 --> 01:05:31,797
<i>are as follows:</i>

1269
01:05:31,971 --> 01:05:33,973
<i>For King, Aaron Samuels,</i>

1270
01:05:34,147 --> 01:05:36,933
<i>Christian Wiggins
and Shane Oman.</i>

1271
01:05:37,107 --> 01:05:39,065
And Damian Hubbard. What?

1272
01:05:40,153 --> 01:05:41,459
<i>For Queen...</i>

1273
01:05:41,633 --> 01:05:42,939
...Regina George...

1274
01:05:43,113 --> 01:05:45,506
...Karen Shetty
and Gretchen Wieners.

1275
01:05:45,680 --> 01:05:47,726
Same old, same old. <i>And Caddy Heron.</i>

1276
01:05:50,816 --> 01:05:51,991
Wow.

1277
01:05:52,165 --> 01:05:53,036
<i>Wait, my mistake.</i>

1278
01:05:55,690 --> 01:05:56,996
<i>Cady Heron.</i>

1279
01:06:01,305 --> 01:06:02,654
Oh, my God.

1280
01:06:02,828 --> 01:06:06,092
Oh, my God,
so many people are texting me.

1281
01:06:06,266 --> 01:06:08,660
Should I, um, text Aaron
and congratulate him?

1282
01:06:08,834 --> 01:06:10,009
No.

1283
01:06:10,183 --> 01:06:11,837
Hey, do you want a lift
this weekend?

1284
01:06:12,011 --> 01:06:13,882
'’Cause Damian'’s borrowing
his grandma'’s Jazzy.

1285
01:06:14,057 --> 01:06:15,536
A lift to what?

1286
01:06:17,147 --> 01:06:19,540
My art show.
Didn'’t you just hear
Mr. Duvall talking about it?

1287
01:06:19,714 --> 01:06:22,413
- Oh, that'’s this weekend?
- Yeah.

1288
01:06:22,587 --> 01:06:26,286
Oh, shoot.
I have tickets to this thing
in Madison with my mom.

1289
01:06:26,460 --> 01:06:27,635
Uh, I'’m sorry.

1290
01:06:29,724 --> 01:06:32,336
Yeah, you seem
super sad about it.

1291
01:06:35,165 --> 01:06:37,254
So, what are we doing
this weekend?

1292
01:06:37,428 --> 01:06:39,038
Why is everyone asking me
about the weekend?

1293
01:06:39,212 --> 01:06:40,518
It'’s Tuesday.

1294
01:06:40,692 --> 01:06:44,130
Yeah, the weekend is only...
several days away.

1295
01:06:44,304 --> 01:06:46,480
I have to go to this thing
in Madison with my mom.

1296
01:06:46,654 --> 01:06:48,265
Your mom is going away?
You should have people over.

1297
01:06:48,439 --> 01:06:50,049
No, I'’m going with her.

1298
01:06:50,223 --> 01:06:53,139
Well, if you have people over,
you can invite Aaron.

1299
01:06:56,534 --> 01:06:58,014
Huh.

1300
01:06:58,188 --> 01:06:59,711
Yeah, I guess
I could get out of it.

1301
01:06:59,885 --> 01:07:01,887
But, like,

1302
01:07:02,061 --> 01:07:05,238
we would keep it small, right?
Like five or six people?

1303
01:07:05,412 --> 01:07:06,718
- Yes!
- Sure!

1304
01:07:06,892 --> 01:07:09,373
Why are you doing this to me?!

1305
01:07:09,547 --> 01:07:12,289
I promised my friend Janis
I'’d go to her art show!

1306
01:07:12,463 --> 01:07:14,639
But, <i>binti,</i> we'’ve had
these tickets for months.

1307
01:07:14,813 --> 01:07:16,119
You love Neil deGrasse Tyson.

1308
01:07:16,293 --> 01:07:17,250
Mom!

1309
01:07:17,424 --> 01:07:19,687
Janis is my best friend!

1310
01:07:19,861 --> 01:07:21,515
Do you not want me
to be a good friend?!

1311
01:07:21,689 --> 01:07:22,995
No! Yes! What?

1312
01:07:23,169 --> 01:07:27,130
You can, uh, stay home
on your own, I guess.

1313
01:07:27,304 --> 01:07:29,480
Hey. I'’m having
a small get-together

1314
01:07:29,654 --> 01:07:32,570
at my house tomorrow night.
My mom'’s away, so...

1315
01:07:32,744 --> 01:07:33,919
Is Regina going?

1316
01:07:34,093 --> 01:07:36,530
No! Do you think
I'’m an idiot? No.

1317
01:07:36,704 --> 01:07:38,576
It'’s just gonna be
a few cool people,

1318
01:07:38,750 --> 01:07:40,404
and you better be
one of them, byotch.

1319
01:07:41,622 --> 01:07:43,450
Okay. I'’ll be there.

1320
01:08:01,599 --> 01:08:02,861
No, no, no!

1321
01:08:14,568 --> 01:08:16,222
Have you seen Aaron?

1322
01:08:16,396 --> 01:08:18,006
- What?
- Aaron!

1323
01:08:18,181 --> 01:08:19,660
Karen?

1324
01:08:20,879 --> 01:08:21,923
Hi.

1325
01:08:26,319 --> 01:08:28,234
Whoo!

1326
01:08:35,589 --> 01:08:37,069
I'’ve been looking for you.

1327
01:08:37,896 --> 01:08:39,419
Me as well.

1328
01:08:39,593 --> 01:08:42,335
I like your costume.
I mean, um, your dress.

1329
01:08:43,771 --> 01:08:45,556
Is this you holding
a crocodile?

1330
01:08:45,730 --> 01:08:48,385
Oh, my God,
don'’t look at that.
That is so embarrassing.

1331
01:08:48,559 --> 01:08:50,865
No, it'’s not. It'’s awesome.

1332
01:08:51,823 --> 01:08:52,998
You miss Kenya?

1333
01:08:53,172 --> 01:08:54,304
Yes.

1334
01:08:54,478 --> 01:08:56,044
No. I mean, I...

1335
01:08:57,133 --> 01:08:58,917
Well, I miss...

1336
01:08:59,091 --> 01:09:01,311
I could see
a lot more sky there.

1337
01:09:01,485 --> 01:09:02,747
At night.

1338
01:09:02,921 --> 01:09:05,880
My mom and I used
to map the constellations.

1339
01:09:06,707 --> 01:09:08,056
The stars.

1340
01:09:17,065 --> 01:09:18,719
You still on
the treadmill, honey?

1341
01:09:18,893 --> 01:09:20,460
No, I'’m over there.

1342
01:09:21,896 --> 01:09:25,117
You got any plans tonight?
It'’s Saturday.

1343
01:09:25,291 --> 01:09:27,641
Mom, don'’t bother me.

1344
01:09:27,815 --> 01:09:30,862
I know you'’re not
feeling your best
about your body right now,

1345
01:09:31,036 --> 01:09:34,996
but remember that real beauty
comes from the face.

1346
01:09:35,171 --> 01:09:38,609
Don'’t ever talk about my body!

1347
01:09:38,783 --> 01:09:40,741
Okay, okay.

1348
01:09:44,441 --> 01:09:47,835
Wait, honey, why are
you eating Kaälteen bars?

1349
01:09:48,009 --> 01:09:50,186
These are what
we gave Nana Joan

1350
01:09:50,360 --> 01:09:51,970
when we needed her
to gain weight.

1351
01:10:15,820 --> 01:10:17,604
I am drinking

1352
01:10:17,778 --> 01:10:19,693
not juice tonight.

1353
01:10:19,867 --> 01:10:21,652
I know. I can tell.

1354
01:10:22,609 --> 01:10:23,741
We should go downstairs.

1355
01:10:23,915 --> 01:10:26,309
No, no, no, sit down.
I'’m amazing.

1356
01:10:32,967 --> 01:10:36,188
I think you should wear
your hair however you want.

1357
01:10:36,362 --> 01:10:38,930
I think it looks good
both ways.

1358
01:10:42,760 --> 01:10:45,589
Thank you
for inviting me tonight.

1359
01:10:45,763 --> 01:10:48,418
I think
I'’ve spent too much time
being pissed at Regina.

1360
01:10:48,592 --> 01:10:50,028
Yeah, you really have.

1361
01:10:50,202 --> 01:10:53,118
- No more liars.
- I would never lie to you.

1362
01:10:54,728 --> 01:10:56,948
I mean,
I did lie to you once.

1363
01:10:57,122 --> 01:10:59,472
But you are totally
gonna laugh when I tell you.

1364
01:10:59,646 --> 01:11:00,908
Tell me what?

1365
01:11:01,082 --> 01:11:02,910
We'’re in here!

1366
01:11:08,264 --> 01:11:11,223
I pretended
to be bad at math

1367
01:11:11,397 --> 01:11:13,834
to get you to help me,
but I'’m not bad at math.

1368
01:11:14,008 --> 01:11:16,533
I'’m actually... I'’m actually
really good at math.

1369
01:11:16,707 --> 01:11:20,406
You'’re the one who'’s only
kind of okay at math.

1370
01:11:20,580 --> 01:11:22,713
Anyways, um,
now I'’m failing.

1371
01:11:22,887 --> 01:11:26,804
- So isn'’t that so dumb?
- That is dumb, yeah.

1372
01:11:27,979 --> 01:11:29,415
Why wouldn'’t you
just talk to me?

1373
01:11:29,589 --> 01:11:31,374
Because of Regina.
'’Cause you were her property.

1374
01:11:31,548 --> 01:11:33,376
- Her property?
- Shut up. Not her property.

1375
01:11:33,550 --> 01:11:34,768
Don'’t tell me to shut up.

1376
01:11:36,466 --> 01:11:38,729
What? Aaron, sit down.

1377
01:11:38,903 --> 01:11:40,513
You are a clone of Regina.

1378
01:11:43,429 --> 01:11:44,952
No. No, no, no!

1379
01:11:45,126 --> 01:11:47,433
What are you thinking about?

1380
01:11:47,607 --> 01:11:48,695
Chicken wings later.

1381
01:11:48,869 --> 01:11:50,175
Do you ever think about me?

1382
01:11:50,349 --> 01:11:53,047
Sometimes.
When I'’m looking right at you.

1383
01:12:01,534 --> 01:12:03,319
- Cady, Cady, Cady!
- No, no, no.

1384
01:12:07,540 --> 01:12:08,933
Aaron!

1385
01:12:09,107 --> 01:12:11,414
Aaron, wait!

1386
01:12:17,985 --> 01:12:19,770
You dirty little liar.

1387
01:12:20,814 --> 01:12:22,207
I... I can explain.

1388
01:12:22,381 --> 01:12:23,991
Explain how you'’re supposed
to be out of town

1389
01:12:24,165 --> 01:12:25,384
but there are
60 different people

1390
01:12:25,558 --> 01:12:27,212
posting pictures
from your party?

1391
01:12:27,386 --> 01:12:28,648
You know
I couldn'’t invite you.

1392
01:12:28,822 --> 01:12:30,563
I... I have to act
like I don'’t know you.

1393
01:12:30,737 --> 01:12:32,652
You are full of lies!

1394
01:12:32,826 --> 01:12:34,524
Janis, I cannot stop
this Jazzy.

1395
01:12:34,698 --> 01:12:35,786
You know I have a curfew!

1396
01:12:35,960 --> 01:12:37,788
You would hate this party.

1397
01:12:37,962 --> 01:12:39,442
Why? Aren'’t you having
an amazing time

1398
01:12:39,616 --> 01:12:40,965
with your amazing friends?

1399
01:12:41,139 --> 01:12:42,967
Janis, I can'’t spend
every minute with you.

1400
01:12:43,141 --> 01:12:44,969
It'’s not my fault you'’re like
obsessed with me or something!

1401
01:12:48,189 --> 01:12:51,628
- What?
- Oh, no, she didn'’t.

1402
01:12:51,802 --> 01:12:54,065
See, this is the problem
with you Plastics.

1403
01:12:54,239 --> 01:12:56,154
You think everyone
is obsessed with you

1404
01:12:56,328 --> 01:12:57,982
when actually
everybody hates you.

1405
01:12:58,156 --> 01:12:59,897
You made me like this.

1406
01:13:00,071 --> 01:13:02,160
It was your idea for me
to pretend to be Plastic!

1407
01:13:02,334 --> 01:13:03,857
Buddy, it'’s not pretend!

1408
01:13:04,031 --> 01:13:05,642
<i>♪ You are as plastic
As they come ♪</i>

1409
01:13:05,816 --> 01:13:07,252
<i>♪ You think
Your shit don'’t stink ♪</i>

1410
01:13:07,426 --> 01:13:08,819
<i>♪ You think
The rest of us are dumb ♪</i>

1411
01:13:08,993 --> 01:13:10,603
<i>♪ I hate Regina'’s guts ♪</i>

1412
01:13:10,777 --> 01:13:11,865
<i>♪ But here'’s what
You don'’t comprehend ♪</i>

1413
01:13:12,039 --> 01:13:13,432
<i>♪ At least she has the guts ♪</i>

1414
01:13:13,606 --> 01:13:15,695
<i>♪ To not pretend
To be my friend!♪</i>

1415
01:13:17,088 --> 01:13:17,958
Here.

1416
01:13:18,959 --> 01:13:22,049
- Have this. It won an award.
- Janis.

1417
01:13:22,223 --> 01:13:25,226
<i>♪ No, it'’s fine ♪</i>

1418
01:13:25,401 --> 01:13:28,316
<i>♪ Really fine ♪</i>

1419
01:13:28,491 --> 01:13:34,192
<i>♪ Go be fine! ♪</i>

1420
01:13:35,585 --> 01:13:37,369
And I want my pink shirt.

1421
01:14:16,147 --> 01:14:20,499
<i>♪ My name is Regina George ♪</i>

1422
01:14:21,631 --> 01:14:26,766
<i>♪ And I am a massive deal ♪</i>

1423
01:14:26,940 --> 01:14:32,598
<i>♪ I will grind you to sand ♪</i>

1424
01:14:32,772 --> 01:14:37,864
<i>♪ Beneath my Louboutin-ed heel ♪</i>

1425
01:14:38,038 --> 01:14:42,608
<i>♪ This is what I get
For helping ♪</i>

1426
01:14:42,782 --> 01:14:47,831
<i>♪ Helping someone lame fit in ♪</i>

1427
01:14:48,005 --> 01:14:50,355
<i>♪ Cady Heron ♪</i>

1428
01:14:50,529 --> 01:14:55,229
<i>♪ Enjoy your temporary win ♪</i>

1429
01:14:58,711 --> 01:15:02,715
<i>♪ My name is Regina George ♪</i>

1430
01:15:03,890 --> 01:15:09,156
<i>♪ "This girl is a fugly cow" ♪</i>

1431
01:15:09,330 --> 01:15:11,594
<i>♪ Hey, Cady ♪</i>

1432
01:15:11,768 --> 01:15:18,775
<i>♪ How you like me now? ♪</i>

1433
01:15:20,385 --> 01:15:22,605
<i>♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪</i>

1434
01:15:22,779 --> 01:15:25,521
<i>♪ I brought the gasoline ♪</i>

1435
01:15:25,695 --> 01:15:27,523
<i>♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪</i>

1436
01:15:27,697 --> 01:15:30,874
<i>♪ And everyone get mean ♪</i>

1437
01:15:31,048 --> 01:15:33,398
<i>♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪</i>

1438
01:15:33,572 --> 01:15:35,618
<i>♪ I got the gasoline ♪</i>

1439
01:15:35,792 --> 01:15:38,142
<i>♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪</i>

1440
01:15:38,316 --> 01:15:41,667
<i>♪ And everyone get ♪</i>

1441
01:15:41,841 --> 01:15:46,063
<i>♪ Mean ♪</i>

1442
01:16:02,558 --> 01:16:05,430
<i>♪ Cady, time to
Watch your back ♪</i>

1443
01:16:05,604 --> 01:16:07,911
<i>♪ Cady, time to turn and cough ♪</i>

1444
01:16:08,085 --> 01:16:10,740
<i>♪ Because you took me down ♪</i>

1445
01:16:10,914 --> 01:16:15,614
<i>♪ But you didn'’t finish me off ♪</i>

1446
01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:21,054
<i>♪ My name is Regina George ♪</i>

1447
01:16:21,228 --> 01:16:23,622
<i>♪ And in case
You'’re keeping score ♪</i>

1448
01:16:23,796 --> 01:16:25,972
<i>♪ Cady may have won the battle ♪</i>

1449
01:16:26,146 --> 01:16:28,714
<i>♪ But I will win the war ♪</i>

1450
01:16:30,673 --> 01:16:33,719
I'’m just so upset, Mr. Duvall.

1451
01:16:33,893 --> 01:16:35,286
We found it in the hallway.

1452
01:16:35,460 --> 01:16:37,767
I mean, the things
it says about me?

1453
01:16:37,941 --> 01:16:39,333
The things it says
about all of us?

1454
01:16:39,507 --> 01:16:41,161
<i>♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪</i>

1455
01:16:41,335 --> 01:16:43,686
<i>♪ Trang Pham
Is a grotsky byotch!♪</i>

1456
01:16:45,905 --> 01:16:49,648
"Rachel Hamilton fills
her inhaler with vodka"?

1457
01:16:49,822 --> 01:16:52,085
I mean... does that work?

1458
01:16:54,479 --> 01:16:55,741
<i>♪ I got the gasoline ♪</i>

1459
01:16:55,915 --> 01:16:57,438
<i>♪ Ms. Norbury'’s ♪</i>

1460
01:16:57,613 --> 01:16:58,875
<i>♪ A drug pusher! ♪</i> No, no, no. No!

1461
01:16:59,049 --> 01:17:02,095
"Ms. Norbury is a sad,
old drug pusher"?

1462
01:17:03,836 --> 01:17:06,578
"Haley Fralenger has" ...what?

1463
01:17:06,752 --> 01:17:07,884
- What'’s this?
- Hairy nips.

1464
01:17:09,755 --> 01:17:11,539
Good Lord.

1465
01:17:11,714 --> 01:17:14,586
<i>♪ Mmm, I want
To make the world burn ♪</i>

1466
01:17:14,760 --> 01:17:17,110
<i>♪ Janis is a pyro-lez! ♪</i>

1467
01:17:17,284 --> 01:17:19,504
Don'’t you worry.
We'’re gonna find out
who did this.

1468
01:17:19,678 --> 01:17:22,115
There'’s only three girls
in the whole school
who aren'’t in it.

1469
01:17:22,289 --> 01:17:24,857
<i>♪ Regina is a fugly cow! ♪</i>

1470
01:17:25,031 --> 01:17:27,338
<i>♪ Regina is a fugly cow! ♪</i>

1471
01:17:27,512 --> 01:17:29,209
<i>♪ You wrote this ♪</i>

1472
01:17:29,383 --> 01:17:32,604
<i>♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa! ♪</i>

1473
01:17:32,778 --> 01:17:35,085
<i>♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪</i>

1474
01:17:35,259 --> 01:17:37,696
<i>♪ I got the gasoline ♪</i>

1475
01:17:37,870 --> 01:17:40,090
<i>♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪</i>

1476
01:17:40,264 --> 01:17:43,049
<i>♪ And everyone turn ♪</i>

1477
01:17:43,223 --> 01:17:47,663
<i>♪ Mean... Mean ♪</i>

1478
01:17:47,837 --> 01:17:53,190
<i>♪ Mean! ♪</i>

1479
01:17:53,364 --> 01:17:55,409
"Damian Hubbard
is too gay to function"?

1480
01:17:55,583 --> 01:17:56,976
That is only okay
when I say it.

1481
01:17:57,150 --> 01:17:58,543
Only Cady could
have written that.

1482
01:18:03,417 --> 01:18:08,509
<i>♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪</i>

1483
01:18:08,684 --> 01:18:12,688
<i>♪ I want to make
The world turn ♪</i>

1484
01:18:12,862 --> 01:18:18,128
<i>♪ So mean! ♪</i>

1485
01:18:18,302 --> 01:18:19,999
Oh, hell no!

1486
01:18:20,173 --> 01:18:24,003
I did not go
to graduate school for this.

1487
01:18:24,177 --> 01:18:29,182
<i>♪ I want to watch
The world burn!♪</i>

1488
01:18:29,356 --> 01:18:34,840
All junior girls report
to the gymnasium immediately!

1489
01:18:35,014 --> 01:18:36,624
Immediately!

1490
01:18:49,202 --> 01:18:52,249
Never in my 31 years
as an educator

1491
01:18:52,423 --> 01:18:54,120
have I seen such behavior.

1492
01:18:54,294 --> 01:18:57,210
I have half a mind to cancel
your Spring Fling dance!

1493
01:18:57,384 --> 01:18:59,299
- No!
- I object.

1494
01:19:01,214 --> 01:19:02,433
But we'’re not gonna do that

1495
01:19:02,607 --> 01:19:04,130
because we'’ve already paid
the DJ.

1496
01:19:04,304 --> 01:19:08,874
But I am taking
this "Burn Book" seriously.

1497
01:19:09,048 --> 01:19:10,920
Now who has something
to say about this?

1498
01:19:19,667 --> 01:19:20,843
Someone wrote in that book

1499
01:19:21,017 --> 01:19:22,061
that I'’m lying
about being a virgin

1500
01:19:22,235 --> 01:19:24,803
because I use
super-jumbo tampons.

1501
01:19:24,977 --> 01:19:27,066
But I can'’t help it
if I have a heavy flow

1502
01:19:27,240 --> 01:19:28,764
and a wideset vagina.

1503
01:19:28,938 --> 01:19:32,593
Okay. Thank you.
Hold that thought.

1504
01:19:33,899 --> 01:19:36,162
Sharon, you need
- to run this.
- Oh, come on.

1505
01:19:36,336 --> 01:19:37,773
I need to be able
to tell parents

1506
01:19:37,947 --> 01:19:40,036
that we fixed this,
and honestly,

1507
01:19:40,210 --> 01:19:41,777
you need to prove
whoever called you

1508
01:19:41,951 --> 01:19:45,041
a drug pusher
was just joking.

1509
01:19:45,215 --> 01:19:46,912
Okay, fine,
but you are walking the dogs

1510
01:19:47,086 --> 01:19:48,958
every morning
for the rest of the week.

1511
01:19:49,132 --> 01:19:50,568
Thank you. I love you.

1512
01:19:50,742 --> 01:19:52,265
I love you, too.

1513
01:19:57,705 --> 01:19:58,968
<i>♪ Well ♪</i>

1514
01:19:59,142 --> 01:20:00,708
Excuse me.

1515
01:20:02,275 --> 01:20:05,931
Well, okay, hotshots,

1516
01:20:06,802 --> 01:20:08,281
who wrote all this junk?

1517
01:20:10,980 --> 01:20:11,894
Cady?

1518
01:20:12,895 --> 01:20:14,461
Any ideas?

1519
01:20:16,899 --> 01:20:17,725
No.

1520
01:20:17,900 --> 01:20:19,379
Interesting.

1521
01:20:19,553 --> 01:20:21,120
Um, can I just say,

1522
01:20:21,294 --> 01:20:23,209
I don'’t think we have a clique
problem at this school?

1523
01:20:23,383 --> 01:20:25,472
And some of us
shouldn'’t have to participate

1524
01:20:25,646 --> 01:20:27,474
in whatever this is,

1525
01:20:27,648 --> 01:20:29,476
um, just because
of a few bad people.

1526
01:20:29,650 --> 01:20:31,827
"A few bad people."Mm-hmm.

1527
01:20:32,001 --> 01:20:35,787
Okay.
Well, let'’s unpack that.

1528
01:20:35,961 --> 01:20:38,137
I want everybody
to close your eyes.

1529
01:20:40,487 --> 01:20:41,749
And I want you
to raise your hand

1530
01:20:41,924 --> 01:20:43,664
if you have ever had
a girl say something bad

1531
01:20:43,839 --> 01:20:45,057
about you behind your back.

1532
01:20:47,059 --> 01:20:49,235
Open your eyes.

1533
01:20:52,369 --> 01:20:54,066
Now close them again.

1534
01:20:54,240 --> 01:20:56,503
This time I want you
to raise your hand

1535
01:20:56,677 --> 01:20:58,505
if you have ever said
something bad

1536
01:20:58,679 --> 01:21:00,333
about a friend
behind her back.

1537
01:21:09,342 --> 01:21:10,822
Open your eyes.

1538
01:21:14,260 --> 01:21:15,392
Hmm.

1539
01:21:15,566 --> 01:21:17,133
Seems like maybe
we could take a break

1540
01:21:17,307 --> 01:21:20,092
from being victims
in this situation

1541
01:21:20,266 --> 01:21:21,920
and start taking
responsibility

1542
01:21:22,094 --> 01:21:23,922
for our own actions.

1543
01:21:24,096 --> 01:21:26,316
Okay, we'’re gonna write out
some apologies

1544
01:21:26,490 --> 01:21:28,535
to people that we'’ve hurt
in our lives.

1545
01:21:28,709 --> 01:21:30,059
Everybody up.

1546
01:21:32,844 --> 01:21:34,977
I'’m gonna kill you.

1547
01:21:35,151 --> 01:21:37,849
'’Cause one thing
I know for sure, guys:

1548
01:21:38,023 --> 01:21:41,809
Calling someone "ugly" is not
gonna make you better looking.

1549
01:21:41,984 --> 01:21:45,378
Calling somebody else "stupid"
does not make you any smarter.

1550
01:21:45,552 --> 01:21:48,033
And we as women have
to be able to trust

1551
01:21:48,207 --> 01:21:50,644
and support each other.

1552
01:21:50,818 --> 01:21:51,863
Like this.

1553
01:21:55,649 --> 01:21:57,129
Okay, that was good.
That was really good.

1554
01:21:57,303 --> 01:21:59,436
That could have
really backfired.

1555
01:21:59,610 --> 01:22:01,133
Alyssa,

1556
01:22:01,307 --> 01:22:02,874
I'’m sorry I said you look
like you comb your hair

1557
01:22:03,048 --> 01:22:04,049
with a chicken bone.

1558
01:22:05,921 --> 01:22:07,923
I know you'’re vegetarian.

1559
01:22:11,665 --> 01:22:14,538
Gretchen, I'’m sorry I
laughed at you that time
you got diarrhea

1560
01:22:14,712 --> 01:22:16,714
on the Ferris wheel.

1561
01:22:16,888 --> 01:22:18,846
And I'’m sorry
for repeating it now.

1562
01:22:19,021 --> 01:22:20,936
And I'’m sorry to the people
who were below us.

1563
01:22:24,243 --> 01:22:25,375
Soona,

1564
01:22:25,549 --> 01:22:27,159
I'’m sorry I said
you were dragging

1565
01:22:27,333 --> 01:22:29,292
during "Revenge Party."

1566
01:22:29,466 --> 01:22:31,120
There was just, like,
so much pressure on us

1567
01:22:31,294 --> 01:22:32,948
to move the story forward
through montage.

1568
01:22:33,122 --> 01:22:34,079
Like, you know how it is.

1569
01:22:34,253 --> 01:22:36,560
What is going on?

1570
01:22:36,734 --> 01:22:37,909
Don'’t worry about it.

1571
01:22:38,083 --> 01:22:39,998
I just wish
we could all get along

1572
01:22:40,172 --> 01:22:42,174
like we used to
in elementary school.

1573
01:22:42,348 --> 01:22:44,655
I wish
I could bake a cake

1574
01:22:44,829 --> 01:22:48,050
made out of rainbows
and smiles.

1575
01:22:48,224 --> 01:22:50,617
Then we could all eat it
and be happy.

1576
01:22:50,791 --> 01:22:53,011
She don'’t even go here!

1577
01:22:54,273 --> 01:22:55,840
Do you go to this school?

1578
01:22:56,014 --> 01:22:58,538
I'’m here for a track meet.

1579
01:22:58,712 --> 01:23:00,888
I just have a lot of feelings!

1580
01:23:01,063 --> 01:23:02,890
Okay, sweetheart,
you got to go home.

1581
01:23:03,065 --> 01:23:05,067
Okay.

1582
01:23:05,241 --> 01:23:06,633
Come on, we'’re gonna... Oh, thank you.

1583
01:23:06,807 --> 01:23:08,287
...we'’re gonna call
your grown-up.

1584
01:23:09,027 --> 01:23:10,463
My turn, I guess.

1585
01:23:10,637 --> 01:23:12,465
Watch, this is either gonna be
some really crappy art

1586
01:23:12,639 --> 01:23:13,858
or really good fire.

1587
01:23:21,431 --> 01:23:23,128
Okay, sure.

1588
01:23:23,302 --> 01:23:25,043
I have an apology.

1589
01:23:26,523 --> 01:23:28,394
My friend and I thought
it would be fun

1590
01:23:28,568 --> 01:23:31,267
to mess up
Regina George'’s life.

1591
01:23:31,441 --> 01:23:33,530
So we got
these candy-bar things

1592
01:23:33,704 --> 01:23:35,184
to make her gain weight...

1593
01:23:35,358 --> 01:23:38,013
...and we told her lard
was face cream.

1594
01:23:39,579 --> 01:23:42,582
And we turned her best friends
against her.

1595
01:23:43,627 --> 01:23:45,194
And then my friend Cady...

1596
01:23:45,368 --> 01:23:47,805
Yeah, you all know
my friend Cady.

1597
01:23:47,979 --> 01:23:52,897
She got Regina'’s boyfriend
to dump her!

1598
01:23:53,071 --> 01:23:54,594
Oh!

1599
01:23:54,768 --> 01:23:55,987
And it turns out,

1600
01:23:56,161 --> 01:23:57,815
Cady'’s actually
just as selfish

1601
01:23:57,989 --> 01:24:00,644
and phony as Regina George.

1602
01:24:02,298 --> 01:24:04,300
So this apology is to myself.

1603
01:24:05,649 --> 01:24:07,390
Because I should'’ve
known better.

1604
01:24:09,131 --> 01:24:10,567
<i>♪ So your best friend
Screwed you over ♪</i>

1605
01:24:10,741 --> 01:24:12,308
<i>♪ Acted nice when
She'’s not nice ♪</i>

1606
01:24:12,482 --> 01:24:14,266
<i>♪ Well, I have some advice ♪</i>

1607
01:24:14,440 --> 01:24:16,225
<i>♪ '’Cause it'’s happened
To me twice ♪</i>

1608
01:24:16,399 --> 01:24:19,532
<i>♪ Here'’s my secret strategy
It always works because ♪</i>

1609
01:24:19,706 --> 01:24:22,405
<i>♪ The world doesn'’t end
It just feels like it does ♪</i>

1610
01:24:22,579 --> 01:24:25,625
<i>♪ Just raise your right finger ♪</i>

1611
01:24:25,799 --> 01:24:29,977
<i>♪ And solemnly swear ♪</i>

1612
01:24:30,152 --> 01:24:33,155
<i>♪ Whatever they say about me ♪</i>

1613
01:24:33,329 --> 01:24:36,680
<i>♪ I don'’t care ♪</i>

1614
01:24:36,854 --> 01:24:38,551
<i>♪ I won'’t twist in knots
To join your game ♪</i>

1615
01:24:38,725 --> 01:24:40,684
<i>♪ I will say
"You make me mad"♪</i>

1616
01:24:40,858 --> 01:24:43,600
<i>♪ And if you treat me bad
I'’ll say, "You'’re bad"♪</i>

1617
01:24:43,774 --> 01:24:45,558
<i>♪ If I eat alone
From this moment on ♪</i>

1618
01:24:45,732 --> 01:24:47,517
<i>♪ That'’s just what I'’ll do ♪</i>

1619
01:24:47,691 --> 01:24:50,650
<i>♪ '’Cause I'’d rather be me
I'’d rather be me ♪</i>

1620
01:24:50,824 --> 01:24:53,218
<i>♪ I'’d rather be me ♪</i>

1621
01:24:53,392 --> 01:24:55,742
<i>♪ Than be with you ♪</i>

1622
01:25:01,400 --> 01:25:02,967
<i>♪ We'’re supposed
To all be ladies ♪</i>

1623
01:25:03,141 --> 01:25:04,838
<i>♪ And be nurturing and care ♪</i>

1624
01:25:05,012 --> 01:25:06,492
<i>♪ Is that really fair? ♪</i>

1625
01:25:06,666 --> 01:25:08,277
<i>♪ Boys get to fight
We have to share ♪</i>

1626
01:25:08,451 --> 01:25:09,452
<i>♪ Here'’s the way that
That turns out ♪</i>

1627
01:25:09,626 --> 01:25:11,628
<i>♪ We always understand ♪</i>

1628
01:25:11,802 --> 01:25:14,587
<i>♪ How to slap someone down
With our underhand ♪</i>

1629
01:25:14,761 --> 01:25:18,374
<i>♪ So here is my right finger ♪</i>

1630
01:25:18,548 --> 01:25:21,942
<i>♪ To how girls should behave ♪</i>

1631
01:25:22,117 --> 01:25:25,511
<i>♪ '’Cause sometimes
What'’s meant to break you ♪</i>

1632
01:25:25,685 --> 01:25:28,949
<i>♪ Makes you brave ♪</i>

1633
01:25:29,124 --> 01:25:32,214
<i>♪ So I will not act all innocent
I won'’t fake apologize ♪</i>

1634
01:25:32,388 --> 01:25:33,998
<i>♪ Let'’s just fight
And then make up ♪</i>

1635
01:25:34,172 --> 01:25:35,913
<i>♪ Not tell these lies ♪</i>

1636
01:25:36,087 --> 01:25:37,654
<i>♪ Let'’s call our damage even ♪</i>

1637
01:25:37,828 --> 01:25:39,743
<i>♪ Clean the slate
Till it'’s like new ♪</i>

1638
01:25:39,917 --> 01:25:42,963
<i>♪ It'’s a new life for me
Where I'’d rather be me ♪</i>

1639
01:25:43,138 --> 01:25:45,444
<i>♪ I'’d rather be me ♪</i>

1640
01:25:45,618 --> 01:25:47,751
<i>♪ Than be with you ♪</i>

1641
01:25:49,666 --> 01:25:51,320
<i>♪ I'’ll say, "No"♪ No! ♪</i>

1642
01:25:51,494 --> 01:25:52,843
<i>♪ I'’ll say, "Knock it off
With your notes ♪</i>

1643
01:25:53,017 --> 01:25:55,237
<i>♪ And your rules
And your games"♪</i>

1644
01:25:55,411 --> 01:25:57,108
<i>♪ And those sycophants
Who follow you
I'’ll remember all their names ♪</i>

1645
01:25:57,282 --> 01:26:00,416
<i>♪ And when they drag you down
Like they inevitably do ♪</i>

1646
01:26:00,590 --> 01:26:02,200
<i>♪ I will not laugh along
With them ♪</i>

1647
01:26:02,374 --> 01:26:03,549
<i>♪ And approve
Their palace coup ♪</i>

1648
01:26:03,723 --> 01:26:05,290
<i>♪ '’Cause that'’s not me ♪</i>

1649
01:26:07,553 --> 01:26:08,989
<i>♪ I don'’t need
Their good opinions ♪</i>

1650
01:26:09,164 --> 01:26:11,166
<i>♪ I'’ve got plenty of opinions ♪</i>

1651
01:26:11,340 --> 01:26:14,386
<i>♪ Every asshole has opinions
But it doesn'’t make '’em true ♪</i>

1652
01:26:14,560 --> 01:26:17,824
<i>♪ What'’s true is being me
And I'’d rather be me ♪</i>

1653
01:26:17,998 --> 01:26:20,349
<i>♪ I'’d rather be me ♪</i>

1654
01:26:20,523 --> 01:26:22,829
<i>♪ Than be with you ♪</i>

1655
01:26:24,527 --> 01:26:28,095
<i>♪ So raise '’em high
'’Cause playing nice and shy ♪</i>

1656
01:26:28,270 --> 01:26:32,622
<i>♪ Is insulting my IQ ♪</i>

1657
01:26:32,796 --> 01:26:36,060
<i>♪ I'’d rather be me
I'’d rather be me ♪</i>

1658
01:26:36,234 --> 01:26:39,455
<i>♪ I'’d rather be me
Than be with you ♪</i>

1659
01:26:39,629 --> 01:26:41,196
Walk away, turd.

1660
01:26:41,370 --> 01:26:43,981
Regina, I'’m so sorry!
I didn'’t mean to hurt you!

1661
01:26:44,155 --> 01:26:46,505
You are
a lowlife version of me...

1662
01:26:46,679 --> 01:26:49,987
<i>♪ I'’d rather be me
I'’d rather be me ♪</i>

1663
01:26:50,161 --> 01:26:55,297
<i>♪ I'’d rather be me
Than be with ♪</i>

1664
01:26:55,471 --> 01:26:58,865
<i>♪ You! ♪</i>

1665
01:27:07,178 --> 01:27:09,876
And that'’s how
Regina George died.

1666
01:27:10,050 --> 01:27:13,663
Again, no one died!

1667
01:27:13,837 --> 01:27:16,361
I mean, technically, Regina
did die for, like, 15 seconds

1668
01:27:16,535 --> 01:27:18,320
but then she was revived.

1669
01:27:18,494 --> 01:27:21,540
And of course,
the rumor mill
started going insane.

1670
01:27:21,714 --> 01:27:24,064
<i>I just saw
Regina get hit by a bus.</i>

1671
01:27:24,239 --> 01:27:26,415
<i>An artery come out
of her neck and her head
went all the way around!</i>

1672
01:27:26,589 --> 01:27:27,938
<i>Guys, street safety
is so important.</i>

1673
01:27:28,112 --> 01:27:29,809
I'’m just sad, like,
that'’s all I can say.

1674
01:27:33,987 --> 01:27:35,641
We are sending
our love and prayers...

1675
01:27:35,815 --> 01:27:38,078
Link in bio to my GoFundMe
page to raise money.

1676
01:27:38,253 --> 01:27:39,297
Regina, we knew
you would pull through.

1677
01:27:39,471 --> 01:27:40,907
How do I get this
off my algorithm?

1678
01:27:41,081 --> 01:27:42,822
I'’m not one
to spread rumors,

1679
01:27:42,996 --> 01:27:44,955
but I'’m pretty sure I saw Cady
push her right in front of it.

1680
01:27:45,129 --> 01:27:46,913
On my life, Cady pushed her.

1681
01:27:47,087 --> 01:27:49,438
I literally saw Cady
push Regina.

1682
01:27:49,612 --> 01:27:51,353
Don'’t fill up my comments,
but... karma.

1683
01:27:51,527 --> 01:27:54,443
Girls are made deranged
by what'’s called hormones.

1684
01:27:54,617 --> 01:27:55,792
Hormones.

1685
01:27:55,966 --> 01:28:00,275
W-H-O-R...

1686
01:28:06,281 --> 01:28:08,413
F that bitch. <i>F that wench.</i>

1687
01:28:15,899 --> 01:28:17,335
All right.

1688
01:28:17,509 --> 01:28:21,339
Ms. Norbury is on a, uh,
temporary leave of absence.

1689
01:28:21,513 --> 01:28:23,036
- Jail.
- Hey.

1690
01:28:23,210 --> 01:28:25,735
I heard that, Miss Rockwell.

1691
01:28:25,909 --> 01:28:28,390
Anyways, we'’re not sure
who your substitute...

1692
01:28:28,564 --> 01:28:30,305
I did it.

1693
01:28:32,742 --> 01:28:35,658
I wrote that Ms. Norbury is
a drug pusher, and it'’s a lie.

1694
01:28:46,233 --> 01:28:49,062
Three-week suspension.

1695
01:28:49,236 --> 01:28:52,370
This is not
who I know you to be.

1696
01:28:52,544 --> 01:28:53,458
I know.

1697
01:28:57,767 --> 01:28:59,159
Where is my Ndebele vase?

1698
01:28:59,334 --> 01:29:02,206
What?
What do you mean, what?

1699
01:29:02,380 --> 01:29:04,948
You know, the colorful vase
that'’s always in that window.

1700
01:29:05,122 --> 01:29:06,428
Where is it?

1701
01:29:10,997 --> 01:29:13,696
I had some friends over
when you were away.

1702
01:29:13,870 --> 01:29:15,001
Go.

1703
01:29:15,175 --> 01:29:16,655
Go do your homework!

1704
01:29:16,829 --> 01:29:18,744
Um, also...

1705
01:29:20,355 --> 01:29:22,531
I need you to sign
my Calculus test,

1706
01:29:22,705 --> 01:29:23,880
'’cause I'’m failing.

1707
01:29:54,824 --> 01:29:56,565
Hey.

1708
01:29:56,739 --> 01:29:59,568
I guess you'’ll need this back
to set an alarm for tomorrow.

1709
01:30:00,395 --> 01:30:01,961
Don'’t want it.

1710
01:30:02,135 --> 01:30:04,224
You only have one message.

1711
01:30:04,399 --> 01:30:06,879
From someone named Karen,
who says:

1712
01:30:07,053 --> 01:30:10,143
"Donut worry.
I am still your freend."

1713
01:30:14,539 --> 01:30:16,628
How bad is it gonna
be tomorrow?

1714
01:30:16,802 --> 01:30:18,369
I was thinking maybe
I should go back

1715
01:30:18,543 --> 01:30:20,066
to being homeschooled.

1716
01:30:20,240 --> 01:30:21,198
Sweetie, no.

1717
01:30:21,372 --> 01:30:22,895
It'’s too small, me and you.

1718
01:30:23,069 --> 01:30:24,854
And I think
you'’re learning things now

1719
01:30:25,028 --> 01:30:26,812
that I don'’t know
how to teach.

1720
01:30:33,079 --> 01:30:34,472
Good night.

1721
01:30:35,560 --> 01:30:37,301
- Mom?
- Hmm?

1722
01:30:39,085 --> 01:30:43,133
Can you sit with me
till I fall asleep?

1723
01:30:43,960 --> 01:30:44,917
Mm-hmm.

1724
01:30:56,363 --> 01:30:58,453
Oh, sweetie.

1725
01:31:18,821 --> 01:31:21,214
Oh, hi. Did you want
to buy some drugs?

1726
01:31:21,388 --> 01:31:24,000
No, I was just handing
my quiz back.

1727
01:31:24,174 --> 01:31:26,785
You know, when the police
tore apart my house

1728
01:31:26,959 --> 01:31:28,526
looking for imaginary heroin,

1729
01:31:28,700 --> 01:31:31,398
I found this old calculator
that I thought I lost, so...

1730
01:31:31,573 --> 01:31:33,052
totally worth it.

1731
01:31:33,966 --> 01:31:35,098
I'’m really sorry.

1732
01:31:35,272 --> 01:31:36,882
Thank you.

1733
01:31:37,056 --> 01:31:38,710
But I know you didn'’t write
that whole book yourself.

1734
01:31:38,884 --> 01:31:40,233
You gonna tell Mr. Duvall
who did?

1735
01:31:41,539 --> 01:31:42,801
No.

1736
01:31:42,975 --> 01:31:44,890
Trying this new thing
where I don'’t talk

1737
01:31:45,064 --> 01:31:46,457
about people
behind their backs.

1738
01:31:46,631 --> 01:31:49,721
Getting hit by a bus seems
like enough punishment.

1739
01:31:51,114 --> 01:31:53,420
- 100.
- Welcome back, nerd.

1740
01:31:55,422 --> 01:31:57,686
Will you be attending
the Spring Fling this weekend?

1741
01:31:57,860 --> 01:32:00,036
No. Everyone hates me.

1742
01:32:00,210 --> 01:32:02,255
Perfect, because
I figured out a way for you

1743
01:32:02,429 --> 01:32:03,605
to earn some extra credit.

1744
01:32:03,779 --> 01:32:05,432
Hey, Bird,
you ready to suit up

1745
01:32:05,607 --> 01:32:07,522
and show off
your math schquills?

1746
01:32:07,696 --> 01:32:09,524
Kev, stop trying
to make "schquills" happen.
It'’s not gonna happen.

1747
01:32:09,698 --> 01:32:12,657
- Jacob, get off my dick.
- Hey! PG-13, please.

1748
01:32:30,501 --> 01:32:32,938
Welcome to the ICMT
State Math Championships.

1749
01:32:33,112 --> 01:32:34,810
Sponsored by SeatGeek.

1750
01:32:34,984 --> 01:32:36,507
Yeah, SeatGeek!

1751
01:32:36,681 --> 01:32:38,117
Tonight will be
the culmination

1752
01:32:38,291 --> 01:32:41,033
of all you'’ve worked for.

1753
01:32:41,207 --> 01:32:43,122
Each right answer
will be worth two points.

1754
01:32:43,296 --> 01:32:46,822
The highest score at the end
of 40 minutes of play wins.

1755
01:32:46,996 --> 01:32:49,781
As always, no calculators.

1756
01:32:51,130 --> 01:32:53,916
- Question one.
- Two, three, four!

1757
01:32:59,182 --> 01:33:01,967
Determine the equation of
the tangent line to the graph.

1758
01:33:03,403 --> 01:33:05,449
The answer is B. Correct.

1759
01:33:05,623 --> 01:33:08,452
Solve the equation above
using prime numbers.

1760
01:33:08,626 --> 01:33:10,541
Prime factor 41.

1761
01:33:10,715 --> 01:33:12,108
Correct.

1762
01:33:12,282 --> 01:33:13,849
Please solve for x.

1763
01:33:14,023 --> 01:33:16,155
x = 2? Incorrect.

1764
01:33:16,329 --> 01:33:17,853
x is greater
than the value of y.

1765
01:33:18,027 --> 01:33:19,681
Correct.

1766
01:33:21,291 --> 01:33:23,423
<i>♪ Stupid with love ♪</i>

1767
01:33:23,598 --> 01:33:26,165
<i>♪ I didn'’t get it ♪</i>

1768
01:33:26,339 --> 01:33:30,474
<i>♪ I didn'’t get it, somehow ♪</i>

1769
01:33:30,648 --> 01:33:34,434
<i>♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪</i>

1770
01:33:34,609 --> 01:33:36,523
<i>♪ I didn'’t get it ♪</i>

1771
01:33:36,698 --> 01:33:37,742
Negative two!

1772
01:33:37,916 --> 01:33:38,830
Correct.

1773
01:33:39,004 --> 01:33:40,658
<i>♪ Stupid with love ♪</i>

1774
01:33:42,660 --> 01:33:44,749
<i>♪ Whoa-oa-oa
Stupid with love</i>♪

1775
01:33:44,923 --> 01:33:47,447
- Function = mx + c.
- Correct.

1776
01:33:47,622 --> 01:33:49,493
<i>♪ Stupid with love ♪</i>

1777
01:33:51,364 --> 01:33:52,801
<i>♪ Whoa-oa-oa
Stupid with love ♪</i>

1778
01:33:52,975 --> 01:33:54,411
Both polynomials
are second degree,

1779
01:33:54,585 --> 01:33:55,978
so the asymptote is at y = 5.

1780
01:33:56,152 --> 01:33:57,719
Excellent.

1781
01:33:57,893 --> 01:33:59,329
<i>♪ I feel my brain
Begin to rust ♪</i>

1782
01:33:59,503 --> 01:34:01,505
<i>♪ I am filled with calcu-lust ♪</i>

1783
01:34:01,679 --> 01:34:03,463
<i>♪ Does this guy work out?
He must ♪</i>

1784
01:34:03,638 --> 01:34:05,727
<i>♪ All sweaty at the gym ♪</i>

1785
01:34:05,901 --> 01:34:10,035
<i>♪ Could that image be more hot?
Let me just enjoy
That thought ♪</i>

1786
01:34:10,209 --> 01:34:11,254
<i>♪ School was rough ♪</i>

1787
01:34:11,428 --> 01:34:12,385
<i>♪ But now it'’s not ♪</i>

1788
01:34:12,559 --> 01:34:13,386
Negative four?

1789
01:34:13,560 --> 01:34:14,779
True.

1790
01:34:14,953 --> 01:34:15,998
29?

1791
01:34:16,172 --> 01:34:17,173
The slope is zero.

1792
01:34:17,347 --> 01:34:18,522
Incorrect.

1793
01:34:18,696 --> 01:34:20,002
The slope
of the tangent line is four.

1794
01:34:20,176 --> 01:34:22,874
Excellent.

1795
01:34:23,048 --> 01:34:25,529
Well, this has only ever
happened once before.

1796
01:34:25,703 --> 01:34:28,663
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a tie.

1797
01:34:31,013 --> 01:34:32,318
In the event of a tie,

1798
01:34:32,492 --> 01:34:34,930
we move into a one-on-one
sudden-death round

1799
01:34:35,104 --> 01:34:37,106
where each team
may choose their opponent.

1800
01:34:43,678 --> 01:34:45,157
We pick the girl.

1801
01:34:46,942 --> 01:34:48,595
We pick the girl, too.

1802
01:34:51,468 --> 01:34:53,775
Ms. Krafft, Ms. Heron,
please step forward.

1803
01:35:10,530 --> 01:35:13,403
- Nice to meet you.
- Whatever, slut.

1804
01:35:13,577 --> 01:35:16,972
Contestants, please find
the limit of this expression.

1805
01:35:21,759 --> 01:35:23,674
You know,
it'’s not me against you.

1806
01:35:23,848 --> 01:35:26,982
It'’s North Shore
versus Marymount.

1807
01:35:28,157 --> 01:35:29,985
A very wise teacher...

1808
01:35:30,159 --> 01:35:31,595
The limit is negative one.

1809
01:35:33,118 --> 01:35:34,772
That answer is incorrect.

1810
01:35:37,383 --> 01:35:40,082
If Ms. Heron
can answer correctly,
we have a winner.

1811
01:35:40,256 --> 01:35:42,954
You got this, Golf Bird.

1812
01:35:43,128 --> 01:35:45,914
Why can'’t I remember
anything about limits?

1813
01:35:46,088 --> 01:35:48,003
Honey, I don'’t know your life.

1814
01:35:49,744 --> 01:35:51,746
Why did you waste time
insulting me?

1815
01:35:51,920 --> 01:35:53,617
Why did I waste time
judging your hair?

1816
01:35:53,791 --> 01:35:55,445
This is not a competition.

1817
01:35:56,359 --> 01:35:58,056
It kind of is, though.

1818
01:35:58,230 --> 01:35:59,754
Right.

1819
01:36:00,624 --> 01:36:01,930
A math one.

1820
01:36:03,453 --> 01:36:05,237
<i>♪ I was stupid ♪</i>

1821
01:36:06,499 --> 01:36:08,197
<i>♪ But now I get it ♪</i>

1822
01:36:08,371 --> 01:36:12,244
<i>♪ No what ifs, might haves
Could have been if I had ♪</i>

1823
01:36:12,418 --> 01:36:14,638
<i>♪ Only tried, not held back ♪</i>

1824
01:36:14,812 --> 01:36:16,988
<i>♪ That'’s not a part of my plan ♪</i>

1825
01:36:17,162 --> 01:36:19,077
<i>♪ I see the things
That I missed ♪</i>

1826
01:36:19,251 --> 01:36:21,471
<i>♪ No, that'’s not the me
That I am ♪</i>

1827
01:36:21,645 --> 01:36:24,474
<i>♪ The limit
It doesn'’t exist!</i>♪

1828
01:36:25,562 --> 01:36:27,129
The limit does not exist.

1829
01:36:27,303 --> 01:36:30,132
Our new state champions,
the North Shore Mathletes.

1830
01:36:34,484 --> 01:36:35,790
Yeah, you like that,
Marymount?

1831
01:36:35,964 --> 01:36:38,227
Get some! Get some!

1832
01:36:38,401 --> 01:36:39,924
Don'’t hold me back!
Don'’t hold me back!

1833
01:36:40,098 --> 01:36:41,883
<i>♪ Stupid with love ♪</i>

1834
01:36:42,753 --> 01:36:44,407
<i>♪ But now I get it ♪</i>

1835
01:36:44,581 --> 01:36:46,713
<i>♪ Stupid with love ♪</i>

1836
01:36:46,888 --> 01:36:48,890
<i>♪ But now I get it ♪</i>

1837
01:36:49,064 --> 01:36:50,979
<i>♪ Stupid with love ♪</i>

1838
01:36:51,153 --> 01:36:54,112
<i>♪ But now I get it
Stupid!♪</i>

1839
01:36:54,721 --> 01:36:55,853
Have you seen Jason?

1840
01:36:56,027 --> 01:36:57,899
Like right now
or like ever in life?

1841
01:36:58,073 --> 01:36:59,509
Ohhh, miss!

1842
01:36:59,683 --> 01:37:01,946
I'’m supposed to hang
with my fallback in there

1843
01:37:02,120 --> 01:37:03,426
but, you know,
if you wanted to slip out,

1844
01:37:03,600 --> 01:37:05,558
meet in my Jeep or... Jason!

1845
01:37:05,732 --> 01:37:07,038
It'’s me!

1846
01:37:07,212 --> 01:37:08,561
"Fallback"?

1847
01:37:08,735 --> 01:37:10,781
No, I... I know.
Yeah, I knew the whole time.

1848
01:37:10,955 --> 01:37:12,914
No, we are done!

1849
01:37:13,088 --> 01:37:14,132
Because you know what?

1850
01:37:14,306 --> 01:37:18,136
I have a 140 IQ,
very toned legs,

1851
01:37:18,310 --> 01:37:20,225
and my parents love me!

1852
01:37:20,399 --> 01:37:22,314
And you will regret this
when you'’re old

1853
01:37:22,488 --> 01:37:24,839
because I am fricking fetch!

1854
01:37:25,013 --> 01:37:27,624
- That'’s how you use it.
- Come on.

1855
01:37:29,756 --> 01:37:31,584
Okay, attention, everybody.

1856
01:37:32,629 --> 01:37:35,501
Whoo-hoo-hoo,
let'’s go!

1857
01:37:42,857 --> 01:37:43,858
Regina!

1858
01:37:46,904 --> 01:37:48,427
You look pretty.

1859
01:37:50,865 --> 01:37:52,954
I'’m wearing
a corrective neck collar.

1860
01:37:59,569 --> 01:38:02,746
I'’m sorry about the bus.
I feel like it'’s all my fault.

1861
01:38:02,920 --> 01:38:05,183
No... No, it'’s not your fault.

1862
01:38:05,357 --> 01:38:07,882
Cady, don'’t apologize for
things that aren'’t your fault.

1863
01:38:08,056 --> 01:38:10,493
But, yeah,
I forgive you, '’cause...

1864
01:38:12,408 --> 01:38:14,105
I'’m on a lot
of pain medication right now.

1865
01:38:14,279 --> 01:38:16,847
You know I died
for 15 seconds?

1866
01:38:17,021 --> 01:38:18,022
Yeah.

1867
01:38:19,719 --> 01:38:23,549
Anyway, my mom was really
pumped to be on the news.

1868
01:38:25,073 --> 01:38:26,335
It'’s weird
when people treat you

1869
01:38:26,509 --> 01:38:27,640
like you'’re famous
or something.

1870
01:38:27,814 --> 01:38:29,991
It'’s amazing.

1871
01:38:30,165 --> 01:38:31,470
Until it'’s not.

1872
01:38:33,342 --> 01:38:37,172
Look, I...
I know I have to change.

1873
01:38:38,347 --> 01:38:40,392
And I was harsh.

1874
01:38:40,566 --> 01:38:42,177
And people say
that I'’m a bitch.

1875
01:38:42,351 --> 01:38:44,744
You know what they would
call me if I was a boy?

1876
01:38:44,919 --> 01:38:47,747
Strong."Reginald."

1877
01:38:47,922 --> 01:38:51,664
That'’s what my mom was gonna
name me if I was a boy, so...

1878
01:38:51,838 --> 01:38:54,798
Honestly,
I would rather be "bitch."

1879
01:39:00,673 --> 01:39:02,762
I like you.

1880
01:39:02,937 --> 01:39:05,635
But this medicine
makes me like everyone, so...

1881
01:39:05,809 --> 01:39:07,942
Okay,
do we have all of our nominees

1882
01:39:08,116 --> 01:39:10,596
for the Spring Fling
King and Queen onstage?

1883
01:39:10,770 --> 01:39:12,947
I just want to say
you'’re all winners.

1884
01:39:13,121 --> 01:39:18,126
And I am retiring as soon
as this evening is over.

1885
01:39:19,649 --> 01:39:22,217
The winner
of the Spring Fling King is...

1886
01:39:22,391 --> 01:39:24,045
Shane Oman.

1887
01:39:26,221 --> 01:39:27,831
Whoo! Yeah!

1888
01:39:31,226 --> 01:39:32,227
Hey.

1889
01:39:33,837 --> 01:39:35,708
Um, have you seen Janis?

1890
01:39:35,882 --> 01:39:38,015
Every day since 2009.

1891
01:39:38,189 --> 01:39:39,495
But she doesn'’t want
to see you.

1892
01:39:39,669 --> 01:39:42,106
And
your Spring Fling Queen...

1893
01:39:42,280 --> 01:39:44,935
Damian, I'’m...
I'’m really sorry.

1894
01:39:45,109 --> 01:39:47,242
Cady Heron.

1895
01:39:47,416 --> 01:39:49,984
- What?
- I mean, of course she is.

1896
01:39:52,508 --> 01:39:54,031
Go, Cady!

1897
01:39:55,641 --> 01:39:56,903
Where is Cady?

1898
01:40:11,483 --> 01:40:12,702
Congratulations.

1899
01:40:16,706 --> 01:40:17,750
Um...

1900
01:40:18,969 --> 01:40:20,840
I think people voted for me

1901
01:40:21,015 --> 01:40:22,320
because they think
I pushed someone

1902
01:40:22,494 --> 01:40:23,713
in front of a bus.

1903
01:40:23,887 --> 01:40:27,021
It'’s not your fault.
A bus pushed me.

1904
01:40:30,894 --> 01:40:34,028
But what is my fault is

1905
01:40:34,202 --> 01:40:35,725
the way I treated my friends.

1906
01:40:37,596 --> 01:40:40,556
I used you and I lied to you
and I'’m... I'’m so sorry.

1907
01:40:44,081 --> 01:40:46,605
I'’m also sorry to everyone

1908
01:40:46,779 --> 01:40:48,694
whose feelings got hurt
from the Burn Book.

1909
01:40:48,868 --> 01:40:50,261
You know,
it'’s really not required

1910
01:40:50,435 --> 01:40:51,915
for you to make a speech.

1911
01:40:52,089 --> 01:40:54,135
Right. Almost done,
I promise. Um...

1912
01:40:55,353 --> 01:40:59,140
I think everyone looks
like royalty tonight.

1913
01:40:59,314 --> 01:41:04,797
It just seems weird
for one person to win this.

1914
01:41:07,452 --> 01:41:10,064
I mean,
it'’s just a chunk of plastic.

1915
01:41:12,370 --> 01:41:14,851
We could just share it.

1916
01:41:18,985 --> 01:41:23,164
<i>♪ Cheap, fake
Easy to break ♪</i>

1917
01:41:23,338 --> 01:41:25,949
<i>♪ That'’s how I used to be ♪</i>

1918
01:41:26,123 --> 01:41:28,778
Here... Take it.

1919
01:41:28,952 --> 01:41:31,172
<i>♪ Now I'’m awake ♪</i>

1920
01:41:31,346 --> 01:41:33,826
<i>♪ I'’ll tell you what I see ♪</i>

1921
01:41:34,000 --> 01:41:36,829
<i>♪ Plastic don'’t shine
Glitter don'’t shine ♪</i>

1922
01:41:37,003 --> 01:41:41,007
<i>♪ Rhinestones don'’t shine
The way you do ♪</i>

1923
01:41:41,182 --> 01:41:44,402
<i>♪ You are so real
You are so rare ♪</i>

1924
01:41:44,576 --> 01:41:46,970
<i>♪ I see you there ♪</i>

1925
01:41:47,144 --> 01:41:50,713
<i>♪ I see you ♪</i>

1926
01:41:50,887 --> 01:41:53,019
<i>♪ I see stars ♪</i>

1927
01:41:53,194 --> 01:41:56,371
<i>♪ So many stars tonight ♪</i>

1928
01:41:56,545 --> 01:42:00,592
<i>♪ You could make diamonds dull ♪</i>

1929
01:42:00,766 --> 01:42:04,248
<i>♪ You are so beautiful ♪</i>

1930
01:42:04,422 --> 01:42:07,164
<i>♪ I see stars ♪</i>

1931
01:42:07,338 --> 01:42:10,776
<i>♪ You shine as bright as day ♪</i>

1932
01:42:10,950 --> 01:42:13,953
<i>♪ I will look out for you ♪</i>

1933
01:42:14,128 --> 01:42:17,740
<i>♪ We'’ll light each other'’s way ♪</i>

1934
01:42:17,914 --> 01:42:22,005
<i>♪ You'’re all stars ♪</i>

1935
01:42:23,876 --> 01:42:25,443
All right,
have a good time, everyone.

1936
01:42:25,617 --> 01:42:26,488
No vaping.

1937
01:42:26,662 --> 01:42:27,750
Rachel Hamilton!

1938
01:42:27,924 --> 01:42:28,925
Give me that inhaler.

1939
01:42:43,722 --> 01:42:45,463
Are you still mad at me?

1940
01:42:45,637 --> 01:42:47,987
I don'’t know.
Are you still an asshole?

1941
01:42:48,901 --> 01:42:50,251
I don'’t think so?

1942
01:42:56,648 --> 01:42:58,041
Cute.

1943
01:42:59,738 --> 01:43:02,176
<i>♪ Wherever darkness falls ♪</i>

1944
01:43:02,350 --> 01:43:07,398
<i>♪ I'’ll be the light ♪</i>

1945
01:43:07,572 --> 01:43:10,967
<i>♪ To guide you home ♪</i>

1946
01:43:11,141 --> 01:43:13,230
She sounds good.

1947
01:43:14,275 --> 01:43:16,581
But she does not
go here, y'’all.

1948
01:43:16,755 --> 01:43:19,541
Would you look over there?
Oh, my gosh!

1949
01:43:21,934 --> 01:43:24,067
- Do you want to dance?
- Yeah.

1950
01:43:29,203 --> 01:43:31,857
Congrats on winning state.
The jacket looks, uh,
really good on you.

1951
01:43:32,031 --> 01:43:35,513
Thanks. It has a pocket inside
for a calculator.

1952
01:43:35,687 --> 01:43:36,775
- What?
- Yeah.

1953
01:43:36,949 --> 01:43:37,950
Grool.

1954
01:43:39,517 --> 01:43:40,823
Grool.

1955
01:43:43,521 --> 01:43:46,655
<i>♪ You stars ♪</i>

1956
01:43:46,829 --> 01:43:50,224
<i>♪ So many stars tonight ♪</i>

1957
01:43:50,398 --> 01:43:53,139
<i>♪ I see stars ♪</i>

1958
01:43:53,314 --> 01:43:54,793
<i>And that was
the first time in history</i>

1959
01:43:54,967 --> 01:43:57,318
<i>that Spring Fling
was actually fun.</i>

1960
01:43:57,492 --> 01:44:01,974
<i>Ms. Norbury and
Mr. Duvall got wasted. JK, JK.</i>

1961
01:44:02,148 --> 01:44:04,716
<i>Karen discovered
the safe joy</i>

1962
01:44:04,890 --> 01:44:07,850
<i>of dancing with theater boys.</i>

1963
01:44:08,024 --> 01:44:11,680
<i>And Plastics and Jocks
partied with math nerds.</i>

1964
01:44:11,854 --> 01:44:13,247
<i>Janis danced
to a pop song</i>

1965
01:44:13,421 --> 01:44:15,074
<i>and didn'’t burst into flames.</i>

1966
01:44:15,945 --> 01:44:17,773
Ow. Ow. Ow!

1967
01:44:17,947 --> 01:44:20,863
<i>And everyone else
just kind of floated.</i>

1968
01:44:23,387 --> 01:44:25,607
So the moral
of our story is thus:

1969
01:44:25,781 --> 01:44:27,957
Calling someone stupid
won'’t make you any smarter.

1970
01:44:28,131 --> 01:44:30,002
And even the people
you really don'’t like

1971
01:44:30,176 --> 01:44:32,483
are still people
who just want to coexist.

1972
01:44:32,657 --> 01:44:35,094
So get off their dicks!

1973
01:44:38,315 --> 01:44:40,099
<i>♪ I see ♪</i>

1974
01:44:40,274 --> 01:44:43,929
<i>♪ Stars! ♪</i>

1975
01:44:48,412 --> 01:44:49,935
<i>♪ Where she at?
What she doing?♪</i>

1976
01:44:50,109 --> 01:44:51,937
<i>♪ Who she with
And where she from?♪</i>

1977
01:44:52,111 --> 01:44:53,852
<i>♪ Well, she'’s this
Oh, she'’s that ♪</i>

1978
01:44:54,026 --> 01:44:56,159
<i>♪ She'’s a flight risk
On the run ♪</i>

1979
01:44:56,333 --> 01:44:57,943
<i>♪ She'’s back, she'’s back ♪</i>

1980
01:44:58,117 --> 01:44:59,815
<i>♪ Yeah, I'’m back, bitch
Are you done?♪</i>

1981
01:44:59,989 --> 01:45:03,775
<i>♪ Excuse me
While I bite my tongue ♪</i>

1982
01:45:03,949 --> 01:45:07,823
<i>♪ I'’m back on that same shit
From before ♪</i>

1983
01:45:07,997 --> 01:45:11,479
<i>♪ I can'’t take this pettiness
Now I'’m bored ♪</i>

1984
01:45:11,653 --> 01:45:15,744
<i>♪ We can champagne
There'’s enough for us all ♪</i>

1985
01:45:15,918 --> 01:45:18,747
<i>♪ Told you who I am
And what it is
It'’s not my fault ♪</i>

1986
01:45:18,921 --> 01:45:22,794
<i>♪ It'’s not my fault
You came with her
But she might leave with me ♪</i>

1987
01:45:22,968 --> 01:45:26,363
<i>♪ It'’s not my fault
You'’ve got to pay
For what I get for free ♪</i>

1988
01:45:26,537 --> 01:45:28,626
<i>♪ It'’s not my fault ♪</i>

1989
01:45:28,800 --> 01:45:30,585
<i>♪ You'’re like, you'’re like
You'’re like in love with me ♪</i>

1990
01:45:30,759 --> 01:45:32,543
<i>♪ It'’s not my fault
You'’re like in love with me ♪</i>

1991
01:45:32,717 --> 01:45:34,937
<i>♪ You'’re like in love with me ♪</i>

1992
01:45:35,111 --> 01:45:38,506
<i>♪ Get her number, get her name
Get a good thing
While you can ♪</i>

1993
01:45:38,680 --> 01:45:42,814
<i>♪ Kiss a blonde, kiss a friend
Can a gay girl get an amen?♪</i>

1994
01:45:42,988 --> 01:45:46,209
<i>♪ I'’m back on that same shit
From before ♪</i>

1995
01:45:46,383 --> 01:45:50,082
<i>♪ I can'’t take this pettiness
Now I'’m bored ♪</i>

1996
01:45:50,256 --> 01:45:54,173
<i>♪ We can champagne
There'’s enough for us all ♪</i>

1997
01:45:54,348 --> 01:45:56,393
<i>♪ I told you who I am
And what it is ♪</i>

1998
01:45:56,567 --> 01:45:58,961
<i>♪ It'’s not my fault
It'’s not my fault ♪</i>

1999
01:45:59,135 --> 01:46:01,224
<i>♪ You came with her
But she might leave with me ♪</i>

2000
01:46:01,398 --> 01:46:03,095
<i>♪ It'’s not my fault ♪</i>

2001
01:46:03,269 --> 01:46:05,924
<i>♪ You'’ve got to pay
For what I get for free ♪</i>

2002
01:46:06,098 --> 01:46:09,232
<i>♪ It'’s not my fault
You'’re like, you'’re like
You'’re like in love with me ♪</i>

2003
01:46:09,406 --> 01:46:11,713
<i>♪ It'’s not my fault
You'’re like in love with me ♪</i>

2004
01:46:11,887 --> 01:46:13,758
<i>♪ You'’re like in love with me ♪</i>

2005
01:46:13,932 --> 01:46:15,630
<i>♪ I mean, who wouldn'’t want
To be in love with me ♪</i>

2006
01:46:15,804 --> 01:46:17,632
<i>♪ I'’m a mood board
Girls got to Pinterest me ♪</i>

2007
01:46:17,806 --> 01:46:19,677
<i>♪ I'’m a stallion but they come
And f... me like Trojan ♪</i>

2008
01:46:19,851 --> 01:46:21,984
<i>♪ And it wouldn'’t be me
If I ain'’t cause commotion ♪</i>

2009
01:46:22,158 --> 01:46:24,595
<i>♪ I'’m so bad
Dudes thought I was AI
I ballin'’ like AI ♪</i>

2010
01:46:24,769 --> 01:46:27,076
<i>♪ I stick to a whole lot
Of paper like a stapler
Stack like Jenga ♪</i>

2011
01:46:27,250 --> 01:46:29,034
<i>♪ And you basic bitch
Get stroke like a painter ♪</i>

2012
01:46:29,208 --> 01:46:31,167
<i>♪ It'’s funny how the mean girl
Open all the doors ♪</i>

2013
01:46:31,341 --> 01:46:33,038
<i>♪ I'’ve been told y'’all
I'’m the black Regina George ♪</i>

2014
01:46:33,212 --> 01:46:34,997
<i>♪ Bikini top, booty shorts
Megan core ♪</i>

2015
01:46:35,171 --> 01:46:36,781
<i>♪ You was hating back then
Now you finna hate more ♪</i>

2016
01:46:36,955 --> 01:46:38,740
<i>♪ I got influence
They do anything I endorse ♪</i>

2017
01:46:38,914 --> 01:46:41,003
<i>♪ I run s...
To be a bad bitch is a sport ♪</i>

2018
01:46:41,177 --> 01:46:43,701
<i>♪ I woke up hotter
Than I was yesterday ♪</i>

2019
01:46:43,875 --> 01:46:47,749
<i>♪ Don'’t care about no rules
'’Cause I always get my way ♪</i>

2020
01:46:47,923 --> 01:46:49,620
<i>♪ It'’s not my fault ♪</i>

2021
01:46:49,794 --> 01:46:52,144
<i>♪ You came with her
But she might leave with me ♪</i>

2022
01:46:52,318 --> 01:46:55,713
<i>♪ It'’s not my fault
You'’ve got to pay
For what I get for free ♪</i>

2023
01:46:55,887 --> 01:46:59,238
<i>♪ It'’s not my fault
You'’re like, you'’re like
You'’re like in love with me ♪</i>

2024
01:46:59,413 --> 01:47:02,285
<i>♪ It'’s not my fault
You'’re like in love with me ♪</i>

2025
01:47:02,459 --> 01:47:03,721
<i>♪ You'’re like in love with me ♪</i>

2026
01:47:06,507 --> 01:47:08,552
<i>♪ A sexy Quint
From sexy</i> Jaws ♪

2027
01:47:08,726 --> 01:47:10,424
<i>♪ Catching sexy sharks ♪</i>

2028
01:47:10,598 --> 01:47:13,862
<i>♪ Sexy Eleanor Roosevelt
Or sexy Joan of Arc ♪</i>

2029
01:47:14,036 --> 01:47:17,735
<i>♪ I can be a sexy pirate
Or a sexy ballet dancer ♪</i>

2030
01:47:17,909 --> 01:47:22,174
<i>♪ I can be a sexy doctor
And cure some sexy cancer!♪</i>

2031
01:47:34,273 --> 01:47:36,014
<i>♪ Happy Halloween! ♪</i>

2032
01:47:39,888 --> 01:47:43,239
<i>♪ This is
Modern feminism talkin'’♪</i>

2033
01:47:43,413 --> 01:47:46,808
<i>♪ Watch me as I run the world
In shoes I cannot walk in ♪</i>

2034
01:47:46,982 --> 01:47:50,246
<i>♪ I can be who I want to be ♪</i>

2035
01:47:50,420 --> 01:47:53,815
<i>♪ And sex... sex ♪</i>

2036
01:47:53,989 --> 01:47:58,646
<i>♪ Sexy! ♪</i>

2037
01:47:58,820 --> 01:48:00,996
<i>I'’m a sexy mouse. Duh!</i>

2038
01:52:00,452 --> 01:52:01,845
You'’re next.

2039
01:52:02,019 --> 01:52:04,369
You could be really hot
if you change, like,

2040
01:52:04,543 --> 01:52:05,806
everything.