You said it was one uphill.
- Oh God shut up! - And a bunch of downhill
- This is like the third uphill.
Like, I thought it would be kind of, mostly down.
- Why would you think that? - I don't know.
- It's a mountain. - Yeah.
I didn't think it was that big.
I'm sweatin' my balls off, here.
Are we gettin' close to this place or what?
- We're closer than we were.
Hand me the map.
- Now if you ask me,
you've got us on a wild goose chase.
- Oh, well lucky no one's asking you.
Now, if my calculations are accurate,
and I know for a fact they are,
pot of gold should be right between them hills, there.
Come on, Buddy.
Move your ass.
Come on, let's go. - Alright, alright.
Them hills are so far away, Dug.
You know somethin, Dug?
I'm startin' to have some reservations about all this.
Stealin' is stealin', no matter how you slice it.
- Look around you, Buddy.
All this here is designated National Forest.
Therefore as American citizens, whatever grows out here
is just as much ours as anybody else's.
It says so in the Constitution.
Besides, we're stealin' from criminals
so it don't count the same.
- Yeah, if they're the criminals though,
what's that make us?
- Opportunists.
- No, I don't like that.
I mean we're stealin' from stuff,
we're begging for trouble
if we're gonna be stealin'-- - Shh, shh, shh.
Shut up your yappin' ass up!
- What? What's wrong?
- You tellin' me you don't see that behind that tree?
- See what? - There.
It was somethin' strange.
- What like a critter?
- No, bigger than that.
It was like the forest come alive for a second.
Nothing.
- Hey man...
Hey, you dehydrated, man.
Here I got something for you to wet your whistle.
Some water here.
This is what I'm talkin' about,
this is bad news bein' out here.
If them stories are true...
Hold up, hold up.
Wait, wait, wait, wait for me.
I'm not the one that ate
the last granola bar, asshole.
- I got hungry, man.
Shouldn't leave them in my bag.
Why'd you put them in my bag
if you knew I was gonna eat them?
You know hungry I get. - Can't carry that much weight
- Hey man, look it's not too late to just double back.
Like, we can go home, have a couple beers,
rub one out, not together, separately.
What do you say, man, you listening?
Are you even listening to me?
- I ain't listening to a word you are saying.
- Oh, oh!
- Do you see what I'm talkin' about?
That's what I'm talkin' about!
Holy shit!
Caught them right at harvest, too.
What the hell are you waitin for?
A written invitation?
Pack that shit up.
I wanna go look at the rest of this.
- Yes, sir. - Oh yeah!
Buddy it goes back and oh shit.
Yeah, oh you're a pretty one ain't ya?
- I'm gon call you Mary.
I'm gon call you Jane.
- Oh, goddamn.
Oh, yeah!
Don't mind me, I'm just sampling the merchandise.
- Dude, there's somebody behind you.
- Where?
- Well, there was.
But he's not there now.
But he was, I saw somebody.
At least I thought I did.
- What the hell is the matter with you?
Are you trying to give me a heart attack?
- I'm sorry, Dug.
I didn't mean to scare you.
- Jackass.
- Alright, I'm finished.
Let's get the hell out of here before...
Hey man, where'd you go?
Hey, come on man, this ain't funny.
Dug?
Dug, come on man, how much of that weed did you smoke?
Oh no, no!
- Alrighty kids, look alive.
We're walkin' the rest of the way.
- This isn't it?
- No, it's further inland.
- You mean there's no roads to get there?
- Where we're goin' we don't need roads.
- Back to the future!
- Ah, yeah you got it!
I knew you'd get it.
- Yeah, what'd you think was gonna happen?
- I don't know, I thought we'd pull up to the
campsite and be done with it.
I didn't realize you guys were gonna be so hardcore.
- So, how far are we talkin' here
because all this gear doesn't exactly look light.
- Well we can take turns carrying the heavy stuff.
- Okay, that's great but how far is it?
- It's like, what would you guesstimate?
- I don't know, maybe three, four miles at most.
- Yeah, that sounds about right.
- Do you two even know where we're goin?
- Oh, ye of little faith.
- Remember I've been on your little excursions before.
- And I have never gotten us lost.
- I can bring up specific examples.
- Yeah, bite me.
Morning, sunshine.
- Are we there yet?
- No such luck.
- Bummer.
- Yeah, so would you mind?
Are you serious?
- I'm ready.
- Damn, you really do smoke a lot of weed, you know that?
- More than some, less than others.
Perspective's an interesting concept.
- Yeah, I don't know about that.
But I've known some burn outs in my day
and I'm pretty sure you can smoke them all under the table.
- Well, keep in mind, I don't normally
blaze up this much.
It just so happens to be a holiday.
- A holiday?
You Jewish or something?
- I'm pretty sure she's talking about 420.
- That's right.
- Thanks for the help, guys.
- Sorry. - Sorry, Aubrey.
- So, check it out,
I really want to get there before we lose anymore daylight.
- Let's go, I've been waitin' on your asses.
- Let's do this.
- Does everybody have everything they need?
Speak now or forever hold your peace.
Alright, let's blow this Popsicle stand.
- Woo, Popsicles sound good!
- Ah, what we will do for booze.
- I know, right.
You sure this is the right way?
- Yes, you keep asking me that.
I know it's gorgeous, isn't it?
- I can't wait to get in bed, though.
- We're almost there.
- I am telling you about this place.
Super creepy.
It's like a spooktacular horror movie.
Oh, you know the one where the campers take the wrong turn
and then they get hacked up by--
- Can we talk about something else, please?
It's bad enough we're thousands of miles from civilization,
I don't need you putting anymore ideas in my head.
- Don't trip, we're not that far off the grid.
- Famous last words.
So, what's you're deal?
You rent out half of Jess's duplex or something?
- Yeah, I met her after college, after I graduated.
I was couch surfing and you could kind of say
she adopted me.
So, who are you here with?
- I'm here with Rachel. - Ah.
- Well, I mean she invited me.
We work together and she somehow convinced
me to tag along.
She can be very persuasive.
- I bet she can be.
- So that's your latest conquest I take it?
- Hmm, Oh.
I'd say the jury's still out but yeah,
I'd say it's lookin' up.
- You are such a player, you know that?
- Okay, I'm not a player, I'm a romantic.
- A romantic? - Yeah.
- Oh is that what they call it?
- Ugh, damn, when you were little and your legs were shorter
did it take you a whole week to get here or what?
- So when you were younger and your sarcasm
was a little more in check,
were you more pleasant to be around?
- You know, you're lucky that Jess here is your girl.
I mean, with all that trash you're talkin'
I wouldn't want to embarrass you
and have to lay the smack down.
- Shut up. - Oh, boy.
- Hey, I thought you said we couldn't drive out here.
- I did, we still can't.
- Well, what makes them so special?
- Shit, shit, shit, it's the fuzz!
- No, actually it's just the forest ranger.
- Oh my God - Okay, he's stopping.
- What are you girls doing out here?
Are you lost?
- No, we're just on our way up to Higgins Creek.
- Right.
- Yeah, we're gonna camp there for the weekend.
- All five of you are out here by your lonesome, huh?
- Is that a problem?
- No, just feel a whole lot better if you
weren't out here by yourself.
- I'm sorry, what was your name officer?
- Officer.
What do you take me for, being a pig?
- No, I'm sorry, sir, it's just you have the bad--
- Sir; that's even worse, call me Rick.
Ranger Rick. - Hi, ranger Rick.
- Is something funny?
- No sir, Mr.--
Mr. Rick. - Ranger Rick.
- Yeah, I'll take your word for it.
- So, you ladies out here to give me some trouble?
- Oh, no, we're just,
we're just camping for my best friends birthday.
- Oh, thanks for that.
- Oh, it's your birthday, huh?
- That's what they tell me.
- Well, I guess I can't stop you from going ahead
and doing what you want to do.
- Yeah, that's right.
- But, I would be remiss if I didn't
give you some sound advice before
you skip on your merry way.
Would you happen to have a beer down there in the ice chest?
Ah, thank you.
Whoa.
Cheers.
Oh, nothing like a cold one, I swear to God.
Oh, God that's the ticket.
Pardon me.
Alright now, where were we?
Oh yeah, listen.
I want you to stay on the trails, alright?
Use the designated camping spots,
read all the signs that are posted
and most importantly, you stay out of them damn hills.
Or else. - Or else what?
- We have an issue up here with guerrilla growers.
- Nice!
- Guerrilla growers? - Mm-hmm.
- What are those? - Pot farmers.
- This whole area is perfect conditions
for growing that shit, apparently.
A lot of nooks and crevices they hide the stuff in.
D.A. boys do everything they can
but it's a real exercise in futility.
Take down one farm, another one just pops right up.
It's like clock work.
- Come on, man.
What are a bunch of old hippie farts gonna do to us?
- Now, that's where you're mistaken.
These aren't some stoned out,
pass-me-the-doobie, hippie types.
These are cold blooded gangsters running a business
and the crops are the investment
and they'll protect that investment at all costs
up to and even including violence.
- Are you serious?
- Like a heart attack.
We had some campers missing a couple of days ago.
We searched and couldn't find anything,
maybe they fell off a cliff, maybe mauled by a bear.
But my suspicion is: they got their snouts into something
they shouldn't have and now they're buried in a shallow
grave right up there in those hills, rotting away.
It would really break my heart
if anything happened to you girls.
Alright, so please just stay on the trail,
read all the signs that are posted,
and for God sake, stay out of those hills.
Okay?
You understand right?
You understand?
- Yes, sir.
- Alright, Higgins Creek, right?
Alright down here a couple of licks,
go to the fork in the,
listen, do you have a map?
- Oh, no.
- No, well that instills a great deal of confidence in me.
- Well we've been going there since we were kids
so we know-- - Yeah, just the same,
I'd feel a whole lot better if you'd take this.
Am I right?
Here, this is my birthday present for you.
- Thanks. - Okay.
Alright ladies, be on your way before I change my mind.
- Yeah, don't mention it.
- How long is it gonna take to get to this place?
- I know, I feel like we've been walking forever.
- This is some bullshit!
- Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,
you guys, I'm getting really tired of all the complaining.
I've told you, we'll be there soon.
- Yeah, well that's the problem.
You keep saying that but soon never seems to get there.
- I'm sorry you feel that way.
- It's not about feeling a damn way, it's a fact.
- Look, what do you want me to do about it?
- Jess, do you know if this is the right way
or you're just going along with what Aubrey's saying?
And be honest.
- Well ,
I mean, it does seem to be taking a while.
But, I do recognize all of this.
- Yeah but do you remember it taking this long to get there?
We should've been there by now, right?
- It kinda feels that way. - I fucking knew it.
Where's the damn map?
- Look, for your information, I remember just fine
and we're going the right way.
Give her the map.
- I may have sweated on it a little.
- Ugh, what did he do with this thing?
- You probably don't want to know.
- I can't make heads or tails of this.
- Here.
So we started here and we want to go here.
- Okay, I got it.
So where's that put us now?
- That's a good question.
- You gotta be fucking kidding me.
- What the hell was that?
- Where is that coming from?
- It's probably just a animal.
- Think it's in front of us.
- Should we run?
- No, no, we don't want to do that.
- What if it's a bear?
- Or a Saskwatch?
- This isn't funny! - Who's laughing?
- I say we make a run for it.
- No, what if we do and Big Foot or whatever
freaks out and starts charging us?
- I thought that saskwatches were supposed to avoid people?
- I don't know what they do.
But do you really want to roll the dice and find out?
Everyone stand behind me.
- I don't hear anything anymore.
- I don't either.
Do you think it went away?
- I think so.
- Help!
Help me! Help me!
- Hey, buddy, what's your problem?
- How'd you know my name?
- What?
- Stay away from me.
- You're the one that's trippin' out on us, man.
- Stay away from me!
Stay away! - Okay, that was fun.
Can we go now?
- Yeah, good idea.
- Come on.
Jess.
- Jess, come on.
- It's okay, it's alright, I got this.
- Screw that, look at him!
He's clearly looney toons.
Hey, buddy.
Buddy, is that your name?
- That's what people call me.
- They call you Buddy?
Well that's kind of funny.
Why do people call you that?
- Because I'm everybody's buddy.
Wanna know something? - Hmm?
- Dug was my buddy.
- Oh.
- He's dead now.
He was my bestest buddy in the whole world
and now he's dead!
And now Dug is dead!
- Hey, hey.
I'm really sorry to hear that.
Can you tell me what happened?
- It happened out there.
In the forest.
Dug saw him first.
It was a monster or a demon and he was hunting us
and we were the prey and it got Dug.
It got Dug and now it's coming for me.
It's coming for me!
- Stay with me, here.
Stay with me, okay?
Buddy, why would someone want to kill you?
- The weed.
- Did he just say the weed?
Whoa.
- Holy crapballs!
- Take it. - Yeah, Jess, Jess,
oblige the guy. - No, no, no.
You heard what Ranger Rick said.
What if he stole that?
- That's his problem, that's got nothing to do with us.
You know like, like, like finders keepers and shit!
- Take it, take it, take it, please take it!
Please, please!
Now it's your weed.
And that means you're next.
You're all next.
You're all next!
- What a weirdo. - Whoa.
- Fuck yeah, that weirdo hooked it up!
That is a thing of beauty right there.
There's gotta be at least like a
there's a butt load of weed in this bag!
- Wow, yep, that's a lot of weed.
- Guys, guys!
We need to go find Ranger Rick and tell him about this.
- What? - Come on, Jess.
Are you really that gullible?
- Hey, you heard the guy.
There could be a dead or a dying person out there.
- Okay, I heard him but he wasn't exactly
firing off on all cylinders, now was he?
- Yeah, that dude was fucked up on some gnarly mushrooms
or something. - Yeah, exactly.
So whatever his deal was or is,
I say let it not ruin our weekend.
That is if you can ever figure out where we're going.
- Like I said, we're here.
And if we just take the fork up the hill,
we'll be right there.
- Uh-huh.
- So you guys wanna go or you wanna
stand around here all day?
- It's your show, Ace. - Thank you.
- Congratulations.
- Hey, Jess, you comin? - Yeah.
Does anyone know
any good Dead Baby Jokes?
- Oh my God!
- Have any of you guys ever had sex while camping?
- Not yet. - No.
- Well, trust me, it's intense.
- Ha, ha, ha, ha.
- Okay, what about this one?
What do you get when the mafia crosses the road?
- What?
- Forget about it, huh?
- Ha, ha!
- Okay, what do you get whenever you cross a-
- Okay, I vote no more, please
- Yeah, no more.
- But this one's really good.
Whoa, is that what I think it is?
- Where the hell have you taken me?
- Hey, stop shooting!
There are people over here!
- Hey, did y'all see that?
That's a quick little bastard, isn't he?
Man, did y'all see where that jack rabbit went?
- No and don't you know it's illegal to hunt out here?
- Don't you worry, honey.
This here is just some buckshot.
- Well in that case.
- Yeah, you could've killed someone!
- Oh my gosh, I'm terribly sorry ladies.
Any you broads get hit? - Luckily, no.
- Okay, then, I guess we got nothing left to discuss.
- Yeah we do.
Bet it makes you feel like a real tough guy,
killing and torturing little animals, huh?
- Can we not do this? - Why, fuck that guy!
- You got something you wanna say to me?
- Yeah, plenty.
And if you weren't lugging around that piece
of male compensation I would tell you how I really feel.
- What are you, one of them big city libtards,
who don't believe in freedom?
- Oh no, on the contrary, I believe you can do whatever the
hell you want as long as you don't behave like an asshole.
- Let me tell you something, as long as I got my rights,
I'm going to exercise them, whether you like it or not.
- Yeah, what about our right not to die?
- Well that all depends.
You armed? - Obviously, no.
- Well if you had any sense, you would.
Trust me, get your ass a gun.
Legally or illegally, it don't matter.
Because the government, nor the police,
nor your daddy, nor no one is gon protect you.
- You need to like get high and chillax are something.
Here, here...
My gift to you. - What are you,
the weed fairy? - Yeah, why not?
You must give to receive, as they say.
- What you got here?
A little reefer?
- Just take it, it's yours.
Just do us a favor,
just stop hunting and shooting and stuff, alright?
It's 420, you shouldn't go out of your way to kill things.
You got something to smoke that with?
- Yeah, got me a lighter.
- Alright.
Oh, hell yeah, you're all set right there.
You can just like roll that shit up
and smoke that blunt like a G.
- Like a what now?
- Nevermind, you just...
Take a cigar and you're gonna split it right down
the middle, hollow out the tobacco,
when you're left with all the paper stuff,
just roll it on up like a joint, you're good to go.
- Hmm, alright, much obliged.
- Just remember our deal.
Puff, puff don't bang, bang.
And that's how you resolve conflict.
- Yeah it's great.
Now we got some nut job carrying a gun,
high out of his mind wandering around here.
You totally made us safe.
- Aw, weed doesn't work that way.
He's gonna smoke it and not wanna do shit.
- Yes, I do.
Ugh, oh my gosh.
- Yes, please.
Oh, this feels so good.
It's so quiet out here.
It's kinda nice, actually.
- I think that's the first positive thing
you've said since we got here.
- Oh, come on.
I haven't been complaining that much.
And you have to admit, that hike was ridiculous.
- Sure, I was just scared you were gonna
have regrets about coming.
- Not yet.
No, I'm actually really glad you dragged me along.
- See, I knew you'd come around.
Now imagine once we bust out the sleeping bags and we just
lay here all night with the stars above our head.
- Are you high?
I'm not sleepin' outside.
That's what we brought the tent for, right?
- You have no sense of adventure.
Ugh, this bug needs to get away from me.
- Alright ladies, I'd love to sit here
and recharge my batteries with the rest of you guys
but we have to set up camp and I'm sure as hell
not gonna do it by myself.
- You're such a slave driver. - I know.
It's just as soon as we get this off our shoulders,
the sooner we can party.
- Amen to that!
But can we eat first?
Seriously, I'm starving.
I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.
- How bout some lips and assholes instead, huh?
- That's disgusting.
- Yummy.
- So, you guys set the tent up
and I'll grill these puppies up.
What do you say?
- It works for me. - Cool.
- Does anyone want a beer? - Yes!
- So, I think this thing goes up.
- Oh yeah, it looks like they're supposed
to get into each other. - Okay.
- Oh, yeah here it is.
- One step done.
- Okay, I got it. - Oh, you do?
- Yes, okay, so snap all these things on
and then go to the bottom.
- Hey, you did it, good job.
- Yay you figured it out!
♪ Just give in to the ecstasy ♪
♪ Let me show you what it's like to fly ♪
♪ Do you wanna get high, high, high ♪
♪ Seein' explosions in the sky ♪
♪ Wanna get high, high, high ♪
♪ Screamin' my name when I touch you right ♪
♪ You wanna get high, high, high ♪
♪ Leavin' you breathless in the night ♪
♪ Wanna get high, high, high ♪
- How's it goin?
- Good.
How's the dogs?
- I think it's gonna be another minute or two.
What I actually meant is how is that goin?
- We practically grew up together.
- So?
- So, I don't wanna screw that up.
Plus, I never really told her anything.
So I just wanna make sure she has a good birthday.
Period, end of story.
- Well if you ask me, I think you should make like
Young MC and bust a move.
- I'll keep that in mind, thanks.
- Oh shit, can you grab me that plate?
It's burning on the side.
- I can't wait to blaze you up.
- I'm surprised you haven't done it already.
- Oh, it's coming.
I'm just waiting for the right time.
- What's the right time? - 4:20, of course.
- Oh, right, of course.
- I just think it's a crying shame that you
are not going to partake.
- Hey, I don't mind pot.
It's just never been my jam.
You know, I've tried it and got really really paranoid.
Then I just spaced out and passed out.
Just not fun for me.
But I don't care if you guys do it.
Go ahead.
Smoke, be happy.
- Yeah but that's the thing.
Your birthday is on 4-20.
You do realize that right? - No.
- So what do you do instead?
You reject it?
- Reject what?
- Your destiny.
- If the opportunity presented itself, maybe.
But, even then I don't know what I'd do or say.
- Okay, you know this might sound crazy,
but you should just tell her how you feel.
- Just tell her. - No, the fuckin' Easter Bunny
Yes, tell Jess.
Don't be ridiculous.
- Do I look like I need love advice?
- Frankly, yes.
I mean from my vantage point,
you look like a scared little girl
that's willing to wait on the sidelines
and watch the parade of life pass her by.
- That's a little harsh.
- Well the truth can be that way.
- All I'm saying is, with all the bad shit
that's happened on 4-20, we need a person like you
smoking out to keep things balanced.
- Wait, I'm lost.
Why is 4-20 a bad day?
- Lot's of reasons.
I mean, you do know what historical figure
was born on this very day, right?
I assume you know.
- Oh, no I never heard that before.
- Well then don't say anything.
Would you care to venture a guess?
- Hmm, Bob Marley?
- No, that's an urban legend.
No, it wasn't Jim Morrison either.
- Try to think of someone a little more genocidey.
- I don't know, I give up.
- Adolf Hitler? - Wow!
You share a birthday with Hitler, really?
- Mm-hm, sucks right?
- There's a bunch of other jacked up shit
that's happened on 420.
Which is why it's our collective duty
to blaze up on this day.
- What in God's name are you talkin' about?
- I don't know if she'd go for someone like me.
- Look, it's gonna come down to this,
you're gonna have to ask yourself one simple question.
How badly do you want it?
- What do you mean?
- I mean, how bad do you want to be with her?
- There's nothing more that I want in this whole world.
- Okay well then you have it.
Because anyone can get anything and I mean anything,
provided they want it badly enough.
- What if I tell her how I feel
and she looks at me like I'm some kind of freak?
- Look, if she shoots you down
and is too stupid to realize what a good person you are
then she isn't worth it, trust me.
- That's nice. - It's true.
- Okay, no offense, but I think you may have
officially smoked yourself retarded.
The lists don't lie, okay?
April 20, 1961, the Bay of Pigs fiasco.
Huge foreign policy blunder.
April 20, 1993, the Waco Siege.
Lots of people killed and burned alive.
April 20, 1995, Oklahoma City Bombing.
Worse attack on US soil since Pearl Harbor.
April 20, 1999 was the Columbine High School massacre.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
are you trying to depress me on my birthday?
- Fine, I will stop there.
But if you dig deeper you're gonna find a lot more shit,
I can promise you.
That shit's mind blowing isn't it?
- Sure but what does that have to do with people
getting high on 4-20?
- To ward off all the bad vibes and evil spirits.
I mean, think about it.
With all those dark forces bouncing around.
It almost becomes imperative that people just
chill the fuck out on 4-20.
That makes sense right?
- Yeah.
- Go ahead, laugh it up.
But by me being loaded, it's like I am personally
shielding you from all the potential harm that's out there.
- Oh, thank you.
You're our hero.
- Damn right.
- Hey, come on. - Come on.
- I'm just jokin'!
- Is she serious?
- God, she's hardcore about this shit.
- I know, I'm so hungry.
- I'm hungry.
- Wanna grab it?
- Behold a feast.
- Whoa, she is hungry.
- Nice.
- Since Ranger Dickhead drank half our beer,
I thought we'd class it up with some--
- Yeah, hotdogs and champagne.
- For you.
Okay, a toast to Jess.
I think that we all can agree that the world
would be a much more colorful place
if there were more people like you in it.
- Don't make me cry.
- But I believe that God must've really broken the mold
when he made you because you are one-of-a-kind.
So, I say, screw the rest of the world.
I think we will keep you for ourselves.
Happy Birthday, Jess.
- Happy Birthday!
- Love you.
♪ How long til you see we're not giving into your madness ♪
- This is good.
- It is good, I could use some more.
- Yep, it hits the spot.
- Oo, me too. - Yes, please.
- I'm gonna get one of these dogs now.
Don't act like you didn't know.
- Jesus.
Good Lord.
Yep, mm-hmm, yep.
Damn.
That young lady
knew what she was talking about.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Can't we just talk about this?
Go for it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doin?
- I don't know why I pictured it somewhere else.
- Woo, man that really hit the spot.
- Yeah, compliments to the chef.
- Thanks guys, I really appreciate it
but it's kind of hard to screw up hotdogs.
I mean, you'd almost have to try.
- Don't sell your, short change yourself.
Seriously, it was really good.
- Well, the culinary arts are my life's passion.
- Really?
I had no idea.
- No. - I'm kidding!
Seriously, you'd be lucky not to die of food poisoning.
- Thank you.
- So Aubrey told me you went back to school.
- Mm-hm.
Taking some PhD classes.
- Doing anything for job?
- Mm-hmm I teach self-defense, couple nights a week.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
- Like karate and kung fu and shit?
- Those are different things but whatever.
- Well are you any good?
- What teaching?
- No, fighting.
- No.
No, I just do it for exercise.
- Oh no, no, no, no, no she's just being modest.
Jess can throw down.
For real. - No.
- Yeah right.
- No, I'm serious.
Come on, show her what you got.
- Stop, no.
- I want to see.
I mean, seriously I don't think you could
actually do something if someone tried to really hurt you.
- Oh, someone's talkin' mad shit, yo.
- I mean, come on.
Come on, cupcake.
Come on.
- Show us, show us, show us, show us.
- It doesn't work like that I can't just attack you.
- Well, that's lame what's the point in knowing
Ninjitsu and shit if you can't show off a little?
- Look, how bout this?
Rachel you try to restrain her
then you'll see what she's made of.
- Fine, have it your way.
How'd you do that?
- Just used your, like a balance,
your momentum against you.
It's pretty easy actually.
- Remind me not to piss you off.
- Let me help.
Are you okay?
- Yeah.
- Goddammit.
What the fuck?
- I am officially switching to water.
Eh I'm a lightweight, I'll admit it.
- Oh shit, what time is it?
- Uh, 4:18.
- Uh-oh, you almost missed it.
- Almost but not quite
and I brought just the thing. - Oh no what is that?
- You did not bring that.
You carried that all the way here?
- You should know me by now.
I don't fuck around when it comes to the ganja.
Time? - Uh, 4:19.
- Alright, alright, alright.
I'm assuming you're all in on the session?
- Yeah! - No, you can count me out.
- That's because you suck but we already knew that so...
The rest of you are smoking though,
I don't care what you say.
Coolio.
Who wants greens?
- That's all you.
- I'm gonna take a hit and pass it around
and we just keep passing.
Everyone has to get a hit in before the 60 seconds are up,
got it? - Yeah.
- You're so funny.
I don't know how you actually managed to survive
as an adult on a day-to-day basis.
- Hey this is serious business.
- Apparently.
- Do we all get it?
Do we understand?
- Yes ma'am.
- Time and count it out.
- Okay 4:19 and 47 seconds.
50 seconds.
10, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two , one.
4:20, go!
- Good job, guys.
Mama's so proud of you.
Not you, but you.
- This stuff's really stone-y.
- Yeah, it's nice and fresh, that's why.
- So, what do you guys wanna do for the rest of the day?
- Mm, I don't know, where's that creek
we've been hearing so much about?
- Oh, you just walk straight that way
and you will fall right in.
- We should go skinny dipping.
- Oh, I'm so down.
- Ha, shocking.
You know I'm half joking.
- And I'm half serious.
- I know, that's why I don't want you to get your hopes up.
- Oh, the thought never crossed my mind.
- Yeah right.
- But I do have a bottle of champagne with your name on it.
- Oh my.
- So, what do you say, you down?
- Well, when you put it like that.
- Don't wait up on us kids.
- Bye. - Have fun.
- So,
birthday girl. - Yes?
- What do you wanna do?
- I'm cool with whatever.
- No, it's your day.
What do you want to get out of it?
- I don't know, I'd kinda like to go to that lookout point,
you know the one we used to go to
and watch the sunset? - Eagles Cliff?
- Yeah, you remember the name. - Of course I do.
- Yeah, I was thinkin it was that way.
- The trees look a little different
because of the fire but I'm sure we'll find it.
- Alright, let's do it.
- Alright.
- Are you comin?
- Oh no, I'm just gonna stay here and guard the site.
- Sure.
Are you ready?
- As I'll ever be.
- Hey, what's the big idea?
- I'm saving you from yourself.
I think you've got enough weed right there
to hold you off for a while.
- Oh, okay mom.
Just the two of us kid.
I'm so high.
- Oh Jesus.
Yeah, I like that song.
We're just gonna have our own little dance party, Gerard.
We don't need them.
There's just more for us.
Oh, just a little bit more.
- We're camping, remember?
The wilderness.
- So are there like bears too?
Should we be--
- Should be fine around here.
I don't think they really come near the creek.
- I don't know, that's what people say before
they get attacked by a bear.
- You're gonna love it, just trust me okay?
You're not gonna regret it.
- It is a pretty creek, I'll give you that.
- You'll give me that.
Oh, lucky me.
Fancy. - How fancy you are.
- You know I know how to treat you.
- Don't point that at me please.
- I'm not gonna point it at you.
You are so scared. - I'm not scared.
I'm realistic.
- You're realistic? - Yeah.
Don't get it on the blanket.
Oh my God, save some for the rest of us.
Thank you.
- Relax, there's so much.
Not too shabby, huh?
- It's alrght.
- Oh correction, it's the best, okay?
The best in the world.
- It's good.
- It's better than good, it's the best.
I mean, look around you.
- Alright, it's great.
It' amazing, it's orgasmic.
What do you want from me?
- I want you to feel spoiled.
I want you to know that despite my reputation,
I take care of those I care about.
Granted that's not many but you're in the club.
- Well I'm honored.
What do you think people say about you?
- Oh, I know what they see.
Heartless, cold, driven, The B and C word,
and everything in between.
But that visage is just a means to an end.
- For what, world domination?
- God willing.
I mean, I aim to leave a mark on this shitty little planet.
I mean, if no one remembers you,
did you ever actually exist?
- You may have a point there.
- What's that?
- Oh, nothing.
Just a little party favor.
- Oh, wow.
Look at you.
Well, anyways, I say fuck being humble.
I mean, it's better than being a loser.
That's my philosophy.
- So what, by being humble makes you a loser?
- Hey, don't get me wrong.
Losers are some of the nicest most humble people
I've ever met.
Yeah it does.
I'm good.
- Come on, I can keep a secret if you can.
- Okay, fine.
- Atta girl.
- This is like the only thing that still
looks as big from when we were little.
- Yeah, right.
- Do you wanna sit there?
- Yeah.
How much longer til sunset do you think?
- Oh, we've still got a while.
- Bummer.
- Or, I mean, we don't have that long.
- Yeah I think the others will be worried about us.
- Oh, they can fend for themselves.
Hey, remember what you told me?
- Hmm?
- Just take it all in, relax.
Take it as it comes.
- Sounds like a plan.
- Do you remember when your dad first brought us up here?
Do you remember, we were so tired
that he had to carry us on the way back.
- Oh man, I forgot about that.
You know, I've been thinking about him a lot lately.
- Your old man?
Are you guys getting along?
- Who knows?
I mean, I've been out of the house
for how long now and do you know how many
times that he's called me?
Three, three times.
I mean, I put in all the effort
and he can't even be bothered to
return a damn phone call.
It's bullshit.
- You know, Jess, if my opinion means anything--
- Of course it does.
- My old man was an asshole.
Sometimes I really hated him.
Sometimes I still think I do.
But at the end of the day,
I couldn't find it in my heart
to forgive him and now it's too late.
I just don't want that for you.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, just,
I'm worried I'll never be happy.
- Yeah, I suppose there are people
who never rise above their circumstance
and they will always be unhappy, sure.
The world is full of people who do.
- Really? - Yes.
- Like who? - Like right here.
Me and you, two prime candidates.
- I missed you, Jess.
- Oh, I missed you too.
- Oh God, I'm slobbering all over you.
- Better out than in.
That's what they say.
You just keep lettin' it out
and eventually you get over it.
Was that for real?
- I just, I thought,
I thought that we--
- Oh shit. - Oh God.
You didn't know?
- Well, I mean, I had my suspicions, yeah.
But, we never talked about it.
I mean, it's cool.
It's cool, I just,
a little heads up would've been nice.
You know?
Hey, I'm not mad, okay?
You just surprised me, that's all.
- Do you want to hear me say it?
- Aubrey.
No, come on. - No, I want you to know.
I have felt this way about you since,
since before I even knew that I liked women.
And I decided that no matter how you took it
I just, I needed to tell you.
You know, even if you ended up hating me.
In all of my darkest times,
when I was depressed and suicidal,
it was always you that brought me through it, you know.
It was always you.
- I don't know what to say.
- Do you feel the same way about me at all?
- Not really.
I mean, you're a beautiful, beautiful person
inside and out.
But I just,
I've thought about it, you know?
Liking women, but I just am not into women.
I'm sorry.
But, you know,
if there ever were a woman I could fall in love with
it would definitely be--
- God, you don't have to try to make me feel better, okay?
Hey, I understand.
- You ready to head back?
- Fuck, you're weirded out now.
- No, no, no, I'm not weirded out, no.
No, I just, I think they're gonna start
to get worried about us.
Come on.
Come on, let's go back to the campsite
and sit around the campfire and eat a whole bunch
of s'mores and get completely, completely shit faced.
What do you say, huh?
Yeah? - Yeah.
- Alright. - Sounds good.
- Let's go get fucked up.
- So let me get this straight,
you think it's perfectly fine for a person
to have no moral boundaries in their life?
- Oh no, you can have all the morals
and boundaries you want but at the end of the day,
it's not gonna mean diddly squat
because you probably won't be as successful
as you would otherwise.
And that's the cold, hard, honest truth.
- Yeah, I guess you have a point.
You know, I always said it was strange that
things we're supposed to admire about people,
kindness, generosity, honesty,
those traits, more often than not,
are the cause of ones downfall
and then the things that we're supposed
to despise in humanity,
ego, greed, lack of empathy, self-interest,
those traits, more often than not,
are attributed to those who are successful.
And then the rest are failures.
- Wait, I didn't say people are failures.
I said they were losers.
- What's the difference?
- Well, at the end of the day,
everybody's just living their life
and you can't knock them for that.
But it's more likely that the losers
of this world, which granted is most of us,
aren't gonna make that much of an impression.
- So what?
What if you don't care about all that?
- Trust me, everybody cares.
Everybody wants to be remebered.
But the fact is most of us won't
and that's just a harsh and tough thing to accept.
Point is, that's all she wrote.
So how you feelin' over there?
- Tipsy.
- Yeah, same.
- I'm having a good time though.
- Me too.
It's crazy, it's like we're on the same wavelength
or something like we're connected on a deeper level.
- Uh-huh and now you're making fun of me.
- No, I'm serious.
Why do you think we have something going on?
- You think so?
- I mean, you can't deny we have a certain connection.
- So you like, like me huh?
- Okay, well I'm not dead.
You're smoking, that goes without saying.
But, more importantly you got something going on.
You know, between those beautiful ears of yours,
aside from a pretty face.
- You think I'm smart?
- That's the least of your worries, trust me.
In fact, I've never,
quite met anyone like you in my entire life.
- That's not funny.
- Hey, I'm serious.
Scouts honor, and cross my heart, hope to die.
I really think you...
You're so pretty.
- Hey, do you mind if we slow this down a little bit?
Yeah.
Someone's there!
- Jesus, what now? - Over there!
- What the stoner chick?
I mean, who cares? - No, it's some guy!
- Is this your way of chickening out?
Ow, what the hell?
- Come on, let's get out of here.
- Okay.
I just don't see anything.
- I'm not making this up.
- I'm not saying you're making it up.
But what kind of perv would just happen to be here--
- How the hell should I know?
It could be that hunter guy or the ranger.
We told him where we were, remember?
- Okay, sure, I'll go check it out.
- What, no.
Come on, fuck that.
Let's just go back to camp, please?
- First I want to check what's going on.
- What do you think you're gonna do
if you actually find somebody?
- What do you think I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna drop kick his ass.
- I don't think you're being very realistic.
- Sit tight, I'll be back, okay?
- Sorry. - Well done.
- Did you see anyone?
- No, not a soul.
Why are your clothes on?
- I was feeling uncomfortable.
- Look I checked everywhere, it's just you and me.
- Sorry, I thought I saw someone.
- It's okay.
So, you wanna head back?
Oh, I thought you wanted to go back to camp.
I did but,
I don't know seeing you run around the woods
for my honor, all protective,
it kinda turned me on.
- Oh, is that a fact?
- It is.
- Oh, now you're pulling the clothes off.
I see where you're at.
Cheeky, cheeky.
I guess I was right to bring you to the creek.
Did you hear that?
- You're not funny.
- Actually, I'm hilarious.
Seriously, you didn't hear that?
- No.
I don't know what it is,
you make me feel safe.
- Oh, that's my special man-power.
- Oh, is that what they're calling it?
- Did you hear that?
- Yeah.
Someone screaming.
That was really weird, huh?
Did you hear it again?
- No, that was,
where the hell is everyone?
- Maybe everyone went to the creek?
- This better not be some kind of sick joke.
- What did she pass out or something?
Hey Donna, what are you,
oh, my God!
Oh my God!
What happened to her?
- We need to go find the others.
- Rachel!
Rachel, where are you?
- Shh.
Don't do that.
Is that your blood?
What happened?
- We have to go I think he's right behind me.
- Who is?
Where is Rachel?
- Don't you understand, she's dead!
He killed her and he's gonna kill us too
if we don't get the fuck outta here right now!
- Wait, wait, wait.
No, listen.
We can't just go running without a plan.
The car is four miles from here.
- Well to hell with you both.
I'm not gonna die out here.
- Come on, Michelle!
Michelle!
Shit!
Okay, we gotta go get her.
Do you have the keys?
- Yes, yes.
But we need to go find Rachel first.
- Okay, no, no, no.
Listen to me, okay?
Rachel is dead.
- You don't know that.
You don't know that.
She could be out there right now needing our help.
- We can not do anything to help her right now, okay.
We gotta go.
Alright, do you have the keys?
- I don't think I can do this.
I don't think I can do this.
- Oh, yes you can.
Yes you can, okay?
You got this. - Okay.
Okay.
Oh my God.
- Michelle, wait!
- Which way is that stupid trail?
- Just wait, we'll show you.
You bastard!
Michelle!
- We need to go.
Please, we need to go.
We need to go now.
We need to go!
Run, we're almost to the trail!
- God.
- A maniac thing, out there trying to kill us.
- Is that right?
- He's killed all of our friends.
- Wait, wait, wait where?
Where?
- He's back there.
We've been running from him.
- Guess what?
I ain't.
- You don't understand.
That sick bastard is out of his mind
and he is gonna kill you.
- Yeah, well I doubt that.
- No, I don't think that's a good idea.
- I don't think it's a really good idea
that you been messing around with the crops.
Didn't I give you a warning about that?
- We didn't go messing around with any crops.
- Oh you didn't huh? - No!
- Now, let's see what's behind the backpack then, huh?
Tell me what this is, huh?
What is that?
- No that's a mistake.
- A mistake huh? - We didn't take that.
- You think this just grew on your back?
You know one thing I really detest
are phonies, liars, and people with questionable integrity.
Come on, follow me.
I'm gonna put an end to this, once and for all.
- Something's wrong.
- You know, I hear you whispering.
You know, I think, I'm feeling that you're conspiring
to conspire.
You know, that really hurts my feelings.
Where's the trust?
You know, I'm a really very sensitive guy.
- I will catch up with you.
- Aubrey, no! - Go!
- Hey, fuck you, pig!
- No!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold your horses.
Alright, I'm glad you're enthusiastic.
Just tie her up and drag her over to the other one.
Come on.
Watch her, keep your hands on her.
Wait, wait, wait come here.
Look what you made me do.
Listen, no more sass little birthday girl.
You start actin' real nice.
Got it?
Oh, we've got a real live one here.
Now, you keep an eye on her.
Alright?
Tie her up, drag her over to the other one, now!
Oo, ouchy, ouchy.
Ouch that looks like it really hurts.
Here, let me see if I can help you.
Oh, man that's messy.
Bring her over here.
Take her over there.
- Why are you doing this to us?
- Protecting our investments.
It's nothing personal.
- Please we won't tell anyone about this, okay?
Just let us go, we won't say anything
to anyone, we promise.
- I appreciate that but I think we've
reached the point of no return, you know?
- I mean, look at my boy.
He's all giddy and he's excited,
he can barely contain himself.
You wouldn't want to break his little heart would you?
- You don't have to do this.
- But we do.
We can't take any chances.
Especially around harvest time.
My son, he got out of the service
and his brains were scrambled.
Wasn't his fault, they did it to him.
They made him a remorseless killing machine.
Then when it was over,
they spit him out.
Can you believe that shit?
A real American hero.
Christ sake.
And those meds, the VA doctors prescribed to him,
left him a drooling retard and he was no good for no one.
Miserable fucking cock suckers.
So we looked into other options,
weed seemed to help.
That's how it all began.
At first we planted just a few seeds for our personal use
and then he really showed a knack for being a farmer.
Yeah, a real green thumb, this guy.
It was only a short time before we realized
we were making a pretty good penny.
I only wish that we could've done it a lot sooner.
But, it is what it is.
- No, no, no, no! - Jess, I love you.
- I love you!
- That's some sight, ain't it?
Gruesome, blood thirsty shit.
You know, I think he got the taste of that
by fucking around with them camel jockeys.
A bunch of fucking savages, all of them.
But, this is the best part.
Look, you don't want to miss this.
There, see that?
Do you know why they do that?
Do you know why they hold it up so high?
Because the brain is still alive
up to eight seconds after they've cut it off.
Blood just keeps flowing.
That's a hell of a long time, don't you think?
You can see a lot in those eight seconds.
Thoughts, feelings, sensations, emotions.
You know, I often wonder what it must be like
to die like that.
I was hoping that maybe someday, somebody could tell me.
Maybe it could be you.
What do you think?
- Why don't you ask yourself that?
Because you're gonna die before me.
- The undying optimist, I like that.
That's really nice.
I like that thing.
Let me tell you something.
Happy trails, kiddo.
Die you bitch.
That fucking bitch!
Alright, come on.
Get up.
Come on, get up.
Get up and get after her, go on!
Go on, you dumb moron!
Get her!
Help me, help me.
- Shut up!
- That son of a bitch my goddamn eyes.
- You had a gun. - Yeah.
- Okay, where is it? - It's at the camp.
- Okay, where is that?
- I'm blind, can't you see?
- Which direction is the camp?
- It's that way.
- Okay, it's that way. - Yeah.
- Okay, okay, okay, are you sure about that?
- Yeah, I guess.
- Okay, you got this.
Come on, let's go.
- Are you still out there boy?
Where are you?
Oh, God.
Hey, come on.
Who the fuck is this guy?
Hey, come on.
Who the fuck is this,
Oh, God.
Don't do this to me.
Alright, okay?
Come on.
Please, I can't do it without you.
You sit this one out, alright?
Sit it out.
Well.
Looks like we're at the end of the line.
- Yeah, so it would seem.
- You know, being the birthday girl,
I think I'm gonna let you make the decision.
We have two options.
One, you can man up, turn around, and end it quickly
or you could be the little chicken shit with a push
and I would be very happy to lend a hand for that.
So, what's it gonna be?
- Why are we even foolin' ourselves huh?
We both know that you wanna do it.
It's the only way that sick perverts like you can get off
because you can't get that little pecker up
so you gotta kill things instead, am I right?
I don't smoke.
- Well, that's a pity this is really good shit.
But, you know, you got me.
You really did, 100%.
Not about the pecker,
but about killing people.
Abso-fuckin-lutely.
Now, can you feel this?
I'm trembling with desire
and I simply can not wait til it's over.
Are you ready to die? - No.
Are you?
♪ When the smoke clears I'll be sober, I'll be vigilant ♪
♪ Well aware, I suppress fears ♪
♪ Immune to the air ♪
♪ Immune to the fumes ♪
♪ When I add the fuel here ♪
♪ What's your proof here ♪
♪ Cause I'm still alive ♪
♪ And we don't owe you shit that you lost in your time ♪
♪ At the drop of a dime we'll tell the surprise ♪
♪ And since we holdin court ima taka a shot at mine ♪
♪ But it's traumtizin ♪
♪ Those to lullabies as pure as baby blood ♪
♪ That flows when one dies ♪
♪ From death to the life ♪
♪ From darkness to light ♪
♪ The duality attended to my whole life ♪
♪ Who gave you your stripes ♪
♪ And do you wear them right ♪
♪ We strip any zebra in the jungle crossing lines ♪
♪ I'm a wolf in disguise ♪
♪ Where the lions make pride ♪
♪ If I'm honest trailblazing is lyin ♪
♪ Ain't a lie, Ima baller til I die ♪
♪ I dare you try ♪
♪ I dare you to tell the truth even when you lie ♪
♪ I dare you to fight ♪
♪ Dare you not to take flight ♪
♪ I dare you to walk through the smoke with no sight ♪
♪ Dare you to open your eyes ♪
♪ I dare you to try ♪
♪ I dare you to tell the truth even when you lie ♪
♪ I dare you to fight ♪
♪ Dare you not to take flight ♪
♪ I dare you to walk through the smoke with no sight ♪
♪ Dare to open your eyes ♪
♪ See I, See I ♪
♪ I see what you mean sometimes ♪
♪ I see you see me seein things more divine, don't intervene ♪
♪ But what I'm seein here, this mines ♪
♪ I see you been around awhile ♪
♪ You see me right ♪
♪ You see my campsite ♪
♪ You seein my demise ♪
♪ You see into the end that you see on the rise ♪
♪ I can't see the compromise ♪
♪ You see what I provide ♪
♪ See this how it's gon go down, you see it upright ♪
♪ I see you uptight but I don't see you go fight ♪
♪ I see me standing adjust the position eye to eye ♪
♪ I see me as a giant when I'm David in your sight ♪
♪ Goliath for the triumph and call me a bad guy ♪
♪ Good guys finish last and I can see why ♪
♪ Cause I done seen first hand, left don't seem to die ♪
♪ See I gotta see my kids right ♪
♪ I gotta see all the shit I said come to life ♪
♪ I see how you feel and I done seen it many times ♪
♪ I see it in the mirror when I dare to see inside ♪
♪ I dare to wipe it down like Bruce ♪
♪ Be fearful of the mirages the mirrors seem dry ♪
♪ See drugs pass by ♪
♪ See rain in the sky ♪
♪ See rain there, rain dance, dab in the light ♪
♪ Boom thunder strike is darkness to the light ♪
♪ Wash away my sins that I see with my eye and see I ♪