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You know why it's called a motherboard?
- 'Сause it runs shit? - Please.
If that's all it did, you know it'd be named after a man.
No.
It's the connections.
You can extend it and form relationships with other boards.
You know what they call those?
Daughter boards.
You're so cheesy.
Look it up, I'm not lying.
Now, grab the new one,
and we're going to put it in just the same way we took that old one out.
Okay.
Yeah.
What are you doing wrong?
How about those screws?
It's still righty tighty, lefty loosey, right?
You need standoff screws, honey.
You don't want that thing touching the case wall, or it's gonna...
Shoot.
What's it called?
- You mean fry-up? - Fry-up, yes.
Like the last one. Like my motherboard has been recently.
Nah, you have just been working way too much.
Maybe.
I'm going to get some water.
You want a glass?
No, I'll keep working.
Oh... Mom, I did it.
Oh, shoot.
Where's your mom?
The front door is wide open.
Mom?
Mom!
Hey! Mom!
Mom, what are you doing?
Hey! Mom, what are you...
Look out, come on!
Are you okay?
I had to help her.
Relax your body completely.
Fully into the earth.
Trust your intuition.
Trust this practice.
Take a moment of calm.
Take a notice of your breath.
In...
and out.
In...
...and out.
How you feeling?
Somehow sore already.
That's not what I meant.
When I told my friends in college about you,
they thought you were a con artist.
Handsome yogi who wants to talk about your feelings.
I'm offended.
I wasn't a yogi.
- I wish we started every day like this. - We could.
I know it's...
odd, moving on.
But I know it's what Becky would've wanted.
How do you know?
Have you seen her?
I see her every time I look at you and Elliot.
That's how I know that she wanted us to carry on.
Dinner.
Tonight.
Garcia's, just you and me.
It's a date...
yogi.
You okay?
Yeah.
Just need to breathe.
Okay.
Need a lift?
There are seven billion strangers that I'd rather get in the car with,
and Uber is sending me one right now.
Bummer. Thought maybe we could talk about Becky.
- What about her? - You know, just...
that she screwed Ravi, killed herself.
I wanted to make sure I had all the details right
- before spreading it around school. - Please...
don't.
- She doesn't deserve that. - And I did?
If I had asked you not to spread rumors about me
after I got burned, would it have mattered?
Look, I will give you anything you want...
if you leave her out of this. Just... name it.
You already have.
I just wanted you to feel what I felt,
even for five seconds.
When all your friends have left you after the worst moment of your life...
and someone still feels the need to kick you.
It was a silver Prius.
And nobody saw?
Like I said, everybody sleeps in. It's an older community, so...
Alright.
Frank, what's going on?
Um...
- Some asshole stole your Prius. - Wait, what?
Ma'am, you're unaware that your vehicle is missing?
She was asleep and I didn't want to freak her out.
Most people would ask their kid
if they lent it to someone or parked it somewhere else.
Yeah, it was parked in our driveway last night. We both went to sleep. Late.
She didn't lend it to a friend.
Right, Sasha?
Will you excuse us?
- Yeah. - Let me talk to you.
Sorry I didn't tell you first.
I was just so pissed off.
- I know how upset you must be. - I'm not the one you should worry about.
The Lefevres, they're going to freak.
The Lefevres have good insurance. Trust me, they'd be just fine.
They might think that I did this on purpose
because of what happened last night.
What happened last night?
I accused them of covering up Becky's murder.
Wait. Becky was murdered?
Of course not.
It was just a panic attack.
Listen.
Don't worry about it, alright?
I'll smooth things over when I talk to Ben about the car.
They'll understand.
Oh, I've got you something.
Your anxiety pills. The ones the doctor prescribed.
The real ones, not that sample shit.
Thanks, Frank.
Let me finish this police report, and I'll give you a lift to school, okay?
You know, it's cool. There's a bus that's like five minutes away.
That'll get me there on time.
Love you.
Sorry I made it bad.
You heard that, right?
That's exactly what Sasha said.
There was so much going on last night.
How can you be certain that's what Sasha said?
Becky's spirit is still stuck here.
Inside of Sasha.
Well, that's a bold claim.
You know what happened when she passed out here?
You told me it was anxiety.
It was a whole lot more than that.
A couple of days before that, I watched Sasha tie a perfect bowline knot,
and she's never even been on a sailboat.
- There can be no secrets between us. - I know.
I'm sorry.
I just want my daughter to be at peace, and she's not.
I've been trying to meditate...
using this, but I haven't gotten anywhere.
Well, this is not exactly what we had in mind with this teaching.
Communication, it's very different than exorcism.
I'm grasping at straws here, Ruth.
Becky finding peace is good for all of us.
That's why we're looking everywhere and anywhere
for anything that might help her in her journey.
We?
I thought there could be no secrets between us.
Just know, none of this is going to work if you're the one who's keeping her here,
with your grief
and your inability to let her go.
- I want her to be free. - And Nancy feels the same?
You heard her with Sasha last night.
She's as eager as I am to move on.
I hope so.
For her sake.
All things with grace and gratitude.
Grace and gratitude.
Looking good, Locklear.
- What are you doing here? - I want to apologize.
I was an asshole.
I'm on my way to talk to Miss Pigeon about transferring back.
I'm done with Crystal Valley.
I didn't like who I was becoming over there.
Me neither.
And I miss you.
I got something for you.
I wanted to give you this last night
but, you know...
I wanted you to wear it today at my enrollment celebration.
I'll do whatever it takes...
to get back here and far away from Crystal Valley.
See you later.
Bye.
- Frank, my man, what's up? - I heard about last night.
Sasha is really embarrassed.
We understand completely.
- Appreciate the call though. - You probably won't for long.
The Prius was stolen.
- What? - Yeah, right out of our driveway.
You can't have anything nice in this neighborhood.
I already filed a report though, so I can put you in touch with them
for your insurance.
Well, maybe we can get it back.
They said the odds are pretty slim.
Probably already being chopped up as we speak.
I got an address.
- You got a what? - I haven't had to use it yet,
but I got GPS trackers on all the cars.
I'll give this to the police. Maybe we'll get lucky.
No...
Why don't you just give me the address?
I'm already dealing with the cops on this. It'll probably go faster if I handle it.
- You got a pen and paper? - Yeah, hang on.
Go ahead.
How many times?
Six.
I'd sit her down in different places, thinking maybe it'd make a difference.
But it didn't.
She just keeps coming back here?
I think she thinks she's protecting you.
From who?
She hasn't said a thing.
Not since last night.
Vonnie, Dr. Pazner, he recommended maybe we...
look into a home for your mother.
A home?
- She is home. - Come on, you know what I mean.
Assisted living home.
- Government foots the bill. - Well, this is just an episode.
I haven't been around a lot for the last few weeks.
That's on me,
but...
I'll watch her better.
This isn't on you.
♪ When you want what you need But don't know about it ♪
♪ What you feel, what you see What you dream about ♪
♪ Let's start when you know What to do about it ♪
♪ When you can't seem to do Anything at all ♪
♪ Just go, go, go, go ♪
Get off me, man.
Get off me.
- I'm trying to help you guys out. - Big Frank?
Gary?
Johnny B, I expected to see again. You...
- not so much. - That's why I'm here, man.
Had him boost a car for me. The Prius.
- Now you want it back? - It has a GPS tracking device on it.
The dude who owned it already called it in.
- What the hell is this? - I'm giving you your Prius back.
What am I supposed to do with it? I'm not a car thief, Gary.
You are today.
Are you still convinced that I'm some dark conspirator?
Something to drink?
Thank you.
- This okay? - Oh, I love it.
Please.
Hydroxyzine?
I started taking them for my anxiety.
Well, there are lots of pills for that.
But hydroxyzine is...
well, it's what Elliot's on.
It's good, non-addictive.
Yeah.
I don't know. Must be something to do with the heart.
Do you have any other relatives?
I mean, other than your uncle.
I have a couple cousins that I met a long time ago.
And I have a grandfather on the rez, but Frank doesn't talk to him.
I think it has something do with my mom.
How did she die?
She was hit by a junkie.
Car went into the lake.
I thought maybe she was murdered.
No.
So...
Why did you think Becky was murdered?
Did you feel it?
No.
Oh, yeah.
I almost forgot.
I...
I have something for you.
Here.
I fixed your bracelet.
I see they're black tourmaline.
Beads of protection.
Coach Jones just said they were worry beads.
Oh, no.
They're protection from all types of things.
Look, I'm sorry about what happened at dinner.
But I'm fine, really.
Are you?
Because...
I'm not.
Sasha, I don't know what's going on inside of you.
This might be crazy, but I can see Becky inside of you.
You can feel her, can't you?
I don't know what I feel.
If your mother were sitting right in front of you, what would you say to her?
Please, don't.
Because I need to know what Becky would say to me.
I think you were right about what you said the other night.
We should stick to our side of the tracks.
An out-of-order death changes you.
I was never supposed to outlive my daughter
and you were not supposed to grow up without a mother.
Thank you for coming, Nancy.
And take your Shasta
- and your page 330 with you for the road. - Page 330?
When you texted me SOS, I thought you were in trouble.
I am in trouble.
Like Becky-ghost-shit trouble,
not I-need-your-fashion-advice trouble.
Hey, look, I'm really sorry about last night.
My mom... You know she didn't know what she was talking about, right?
This all started the first time I went to the Lefevres.
The more I've had to learn about Becky, the more she's taking over.
I'm giving her too much attention.
What if all I need to do to make her go away is straight up ignore her?
I guess it's worth a try.
- What are you looking for in this bag? - Something of my mom's.
If she were here, TJ's family would love me,
because I'd already know how to be the perfect Navajo woman.
At least today I'll look like one.
Congratulations.
Sasha, you... you remember Kara, right?
Kara.
- You've grown up. - You look great too.
I haven't seen a traditional dress like that since I was little.
Where did you get it, Sarah?
Sasha.
I like your dress too.
- How do you feel? - Good.
I'm probably not inheriting the mattress store anytime soon, but...
Dad's not disowning me.
TJ, I need you to practice your speech for me before I get everyone seated.
Okay, you've got this, TJ, just talk slow. You only mess up the words
- when you try and speak too fast. - Don't talk too fast.
Mom?
Hey, Mom.
Mom.
Hey, I was going to tell you to... Fuck me.
How Oedipal.
Look, you can hit me some more if it'll make you feel better.
I would if it would.
Then why are you here?
Why did she do it?
She was disturbed, man.
I wanted to help her, but...
She would go to these places.
She wasn't even there.
Disturbed like this?
Yeah...
disturbed like this.
She was trying to figure out this mask thing last year.
That's why she took the ayahuasca the night she died.
She heard somewhere that it helped with suppressed memories.
What happened when she took it?
She went to take a shower... and dropped the radio in.
- Was it bad? - I don't know.
It felt like it didn't even work at the time.
Is this why she did what she did?
I don't know.
Hello, everyone.
It was a difficult decision
choosing between Pima and Navajo
but I followed my heart...
and I made my decision.
I want to thank my mother for raising me.
And I wanted to thank my aunties...
for feeding me a lot.
And before I acknowledge all of you for coming here today...
to see me...
I would like to thank my girlfriend Sasha
for always having my back,
whether it was early morning track practices
to weekend out-of-town meets.
You're always there.
I would also like to acknowledge...
that we live because our relatives survived...
the long walk to return to Dinétah.
Diné is strong.
- What are you doing? - I don't know.
This was a really important day for TJ, and you ruined it.
You know I didn't mean to interrupt.
If you need a ride, I'd be happy to take you home.
I'm not going anywhere.
- You don't wanna make this worse. - Shut the fuck up, Kara.
Ah!
- Iinziin. Get away from us. - No.
- You brought this here. - Kara, I didn't.
It wasn't me.
Becky...
What do you want?
Tell me, what do you want?
Sasha?
Hi. Um...
I'm sorry for bursting in on you like this,
but I didn't have your phone number.
I had your address though, because Frank tosses out those packages, but...
I really need to talk to you.
Come in.
Rest.
You've come a long way.
How much have you told Frank about this Becky?
A little.
But he wouldn't believe me.
I feel crazy even telling you half of all this.
Does he know you came here?
He didn't even tell me you came by to see me.
Don't blame him.
He left here to feel free,
but he carries a heavy burden.
He should have called me that day instead.
But I forgive him.
He needs to learn to forgive himself.
But you're here now,
that's all that matters.
You know, after you were born,
we took your umbilical cord and gave it back to the land here.
Your roots...
this makes this your home.
Then...
tell me about my mom.
Your mother...
strong...
kind.
A woman you wouldn't recognize after she found her habit.
Habit?
Keeping you from your mother and your family...
has created a void within you.
You have to deal with it.
Or else.
Is there something here that can help me talk to Becky?
That "Land of Enchantment" sign gives people the wrong idea.
Everything out here is important.
There's no magic.
Sasha.
It's going to be okay.
Are you all right?
They're everywhere, they're all over the car.
Do you think I'm crazy?
What you're fighting is not out there.
It's in you.
I knew you were still there.
You didn't mean to hurt Sasha.
Mom, come on, Sasha's family.
What?
Mom.
Our old table.
Something happened at work?
No.
This morning after our talk...
I spent some time in Becky's room...
where I found her baby blanket.
I wasn't ready to burn it.
And I'm glad.
Glad?
You're gonna think I'm insane.
Is that worse than thinking you lied to me?
My baby...
I can feel her.
She's in here, she's...
She's inside that girl.
- Nance. - I'm her mother and...
I feel her.
You're not crazy.
I feel her too.
You kept this from me?
Of course I did.
Because I thought you would think I was crazy.
Ben...
I cannot let her go.
Baby, listen to me.
We have to stop.
Keeping her here, stuck...
it's not just unfair...
it's selfish...
and it will destroy our family.
I went to see Sasha today.
What happened to leaving her alone?
I had to go.
Becky...
she spoke to me through her.
What did she say?
Page 330.
What?
It was mine and Becky, she took it.
"Such pain constitutes
a motivational operation establishing escape."
- What does this mean? - Becky...
She was in pain and she wants us to know why.
Nance...
Becky wants us to know that she's trapped and needs our help to move on.
That will never happen.
Not as long as Sasha is alone in Cottonwood.
Harrison called me.
What were you thinking, going out there to see him?
I was thinking...
you never told me about my grandfather.
Or my mother.
Or any part of my culture.
Why am I taking hydroxyzine?
That's what the doctor told us to do, so we're doing it.
The only reason I'd be taking hydroxyzine
is if I was a junkie or if I was born one.
The junkie from those stories about Mom...
it was her, wasn't it?
When were you going to tell me?
I...
I tried to tell you.
Every year I started to.
Just couldn't find the words.
- And then your heart... - So I had my heart attack...
because of the drugs I was born addicted to?
I didn't want you to remember her like that.
So you kept me from anyone who could help me remember her at all.
Lena...
she needed help.
Rehab help.
But all my father could do was try to cure her spirit.
Harrison's the reason she's dead.
They why did he say you need to forgive yourself?
Lena left you in a Wendy's bathroom and disappeared for months.
You were so small...
so fucking helpless.
I'd had enough.
You didn't deserve that shit. No one does.
And I wasn't going to let it happen. Not one more time.
She came to get you...
as high as a kite.
She had drugs in the car,
so I...
I called the cops.
I thought maybe then she'd get some real help.
It'd be the best thing for her and for you.
But she didn't surrender. She just took off.
You're the reason she's dead.
No.
That's not fair.
- Sasha... - I can't even look at you.
Can we talk?
My mom was a junkie.
Frank lied.
Sash...
Can I stay here tonight?
- I... - Can I stay in your room?
Your mom won't even know I'm here.
I'm sorry, Sash.
I just can't.
Please.
I can't let you in.
But...
Sorry.
I'm sorry I called.
I just had nowhere else to go.
You have somewhere to go.
Today I found out who my mom really was.
That hurt more than anything I've ever felt in my entire life.
Everyone needs to know the truth about a loved one,
especially one you've lost.
Lies kill memory.
She's staying with us.
For a while.
How do you feel?
Ask me in a hundred years.
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