Hey, I'm Chuck. Here's a couple of things
you might need to know, maybe you just forgot.
We spared no expense re-creating the Buy More.
It's now a full-fledged CIA-NSA substation.
New Buy More? Rules.
Slides. Doors.
And the new super-spy/Nerd Herder Greta?
Be still, my beating heart.
I think you have earned this.
The keys to the Buy More.
I'm making you store manager, Mr. Grimes.
Maybe Awesome's right.
Marriage, a baby...
Who knows? Maybe we're next.
♪ ♪
When's food? I'm hungry.
Shut it, convict!
Talking my ear off.
We can get ten miles, max,
but no way we'll make Yucca Mountain.
We're being redirected.
New top-secret facility.
We're going where?
MAN Attention, gamers!
Your patience is appreciated.
The midnight release of "Spy Attack"
is less than two hours away.
Somebody restack these DVDs players.
And I need a lot more blank CDs.
No, not- get these consoles out of there!
Guys, I need a lane going through here.
All right? I-I vlogged about listening skills last night.
Did anybody watch? No!
And it shows.
I don't think you're taking this seriously enough, buddy.
Oh, I'm serious. I'm De Niro serious.
Listen, the Buy More is CIA,
and as the manager, I am the front line of the Buy More.
If things don't run smoothly up here,
well, it's a national security issue.
I need a sidearm.
Preferably like a Desert Eagle or some big-
You're beyond De Niro. This is Russell Crowe serious.
Okay, but listen, Chuck,
biggest game of the year drops tonight,
and these fan boys have been camped out for a week-
a week- without their consoles and simulated killing.
You could cut their bloodlust with a knife.
Weren't you camped out in this line last year?
Yeah, okay, fair enough.
But that means I know what they're thinking.
And they expect a full-blown, high-tech launch presentation.
All right, look, with just me at the helm,
this is it, dude; my managerial Bushido test, okay?
And I'm ready. I want it.
And I don't need any help.
Well, you know, if something was to go down,
there is a CIA presence lurking about in the form of John Casey.
Oh! And the new Greta. The new Greta?
♪ ♪
Hello, Greta.
We're all set for the game launch, Mr. Grimes.
Ah, perfect.
Any further tasks for me?
Uh...
Filter, filter.
Nope. Nope. Carry on, well done.
Lovely to meet you.
What?
Where was I? I'm the manager.
I am the manager, national security, all that, yadda yadda.
And as much as I wish I could stay around
and see how this all plays out,
I have to catch a flight in an hour.
Oh, you don't say.
Private jet to Monaco.
Wow. Good for you, a whole week
chasing some lazy oligarch down the French Riviera
with your stunning girlfriend.
Did I mention that, too?
Buddy, it's gonna be the mission...
Of a lifetime; I-I-I think you mentioned that, as well.
But hold on one second here.
What is with the unbridled enthusiasm? I love it,
but where's the Chuck relationship neurosis?
Where's the hand-wringing
and the, uh, mishegas?
Well, I'd never speak for Sarah.
But, if forced to,
I'd say that she's really, finally
starting to settle down with me.
Wow. Let's pause. Be very still.
You are in a happy relationship,
I'm peaking professionally-
let's savor it.
Smells like victory.
What's eating you, Walker?
Fighting like a pit bull, huh?
Did it change anything?
Finding out that you had a kid?
They say that your priorities change.
My priorities are the same: God, country, duty, Corps.
Huh, all right, yeah.
Sometimes I think about calling,
but... Alex has her own life.
I just don't know what my role is. We done now?
What's with the interrogation?
Chuck let something slip last night.
About the future.
Oh, yeah? What?
Kids? With you?
Huh. Bartowski's the king of cool, huh?
I'm a spy.
I can't even process the idea of having kids right now,
and I need to say something to him
before he runs away with the idea.
Yeah, he's probably already measuring for drapes,
wouldn't you say?
We're going on this romantic trip to Monaco,
and he's gonna know that something's wrong.
Yeah. You know, he's gonna keep digging at you, too,
till you give it up,
and then he's gonna spend the rest of the trip moping.
Harness your fury, Agent Walker.
Your mission to Monaco with Agent Bartowski
has been cancelled.
Oh. Oh!
Subtle, Walker.
Prisoner transport headed to our Yucca Mountain Supermax
was redirected to Castle.
The prisoners are ours until the transport is repaired
or a chopper frees up.
Whoa. Wait, wait, wait. What, cancelled?
Monaco cancelled?
Sarah, it was supposed to be the mission...
Of a lifetime, I know, Chuck,
but there is a silver lining.
We get to stay in and have a quiet night,
and, um... and chat.
I don't know if I'd exactly call that lining silver
as much as copper, or zinc, or manganese.
I mean, we were supposed to be in St. Tropez
as Lord and Lady Carmichael, all expenses...
paid...
Unless there's something we needed to talk about, is there?
Lock and load, Chuck.
Sarah, hang on. This chat...
I mean, are we talking about, like, like a chit-chat?
Or... FDR fireside chat?
No, everything is fine.
I just thought that a night in might be nice.
A night in. At the Buy More.
Well, there's nothing I love more than... a night.
Together. With you.
♪ ♪
Gentlemen.
Carmichael.
Back off of him!
Yeah, nice quiet evening.
At least it can't get any worse.
Well, well, Jennie Burton.
My old high school punching bag.
Love your dungeon.
Can't wait to catch up.
www.addic7ed.com
Guys, we've got 40 minutes to the game launch.
Time to move some units, boys, all right?
Now, in the meantime, please do me a favor:
Fix this.
You know, shower, shave, toothpaste, hair gel-
anything, okay, just... try not to embarrass me.
Huh. You talk like you got a lot of brass in your pants.
What...? For a dead man.
He's here. Who's here?
The man whose job you stole: Big Mike.
Oopsies!
Move. All right.
I knew this day would come.
I specifically avoided my mother's house
so I didn't have to see him.
But I can handle this.
I can handle anything.
Right? I am Cobra.
Son, I'm bursting.
With pride,
seeing you in that suit.
I never wanted anyone else to wear it.
But if it's family, it's okay by me.
So, Mr. Panzer.
Hugo.
You on a new diet? New workout... regimen?
'Cause you're looking pretty fit.
Can I just... Nope.
Just one thing. Not interested.
Oh, you're acting awful bitchy, Burton.
Or whatever it is you go by.
Sarah Walker.
And don't forget it.
All set.
You done with that newspaper?
Look who thinks he can read.
Sudoku fan, huh?
Go ahead.
Well, enjoy your new accommodations.
There's no room in my heart for anger.
Love, though?
I'm full up!
I spent the past few months out on the sea,
hunted with my bow,
looking for my- my inner Big Mike, my happiness.
I discovered the source of it.
Good. Your momma.
And I want to do right by her.
I want to make her...
an honest woman.
Let's stop talking.
All right? It was good seeing you.
I'm really glad you came by, actually, and, you know, we'll-
What is that?
That's a full half-caret
pear-cut cubic zirconium.
I came by here to ask your permission to marry
Bologna Garcia Bougainvillea Grimes.
Oh, wow.
Think on it.
Give it back to me when you think
I'm worthy of your mother's love.
Keep it on your person if you could.
I don't trust the scoundrels working the store.
Nor should you.
But on that note, actually,
I should probably get back to work...
You and me both.
Know what I mean?
I intend to support your momma as best I can.
But man-to-man, I'm between gigs.
Hear there's a game launch.
You can always use an extra hand there, am I right?
Especially when it's a close relative asking?
Yeah, I'd... it's-
I won't let you down, son.
Ah! Boss.
Hey-ey. All right.
Grimes. Manager. Speak.
Mm-hmm.
What?
What do you mean, we're only getting
six copies of "Spy Attack"?
I got 300 customers waiting for this game-
Yes, I'll hold.
So, chat time?
Sure.
Here?
Yeah, okay.
Look, it's not a big deal.
I mean, well, it is... maybe.
Wh-What, it is a big deal, Sarah? What is?
I love you, Chuck, that's the first thing.
I love being with you.
Ditto. Right back at ya.
It's just, um... Can we, please,
just for a second...
Did you just flash?
Heather Chandler is in the Intersect 2.0.
She was connected to Frost.
I think she knows my mom.
I have to talk to her now,
because the transport will be here soon.
Chuck, unless you want Beckman to know
that we're looking for your mom,
we don't have the authority to interrogate Chandler.
Well, we don't have the authority
to use the supply closet for what it is we use it for,
but we do it anyway, don't we?
Look, she knows my mom.
Okay, fine. But you can't just start whipping questions out
to somebody like Heather Chandler.
It's, it's just not gonna work.
This needs to be a real interrogation.
Good cop, bad cop.
How about tough cop, silent cop?
Okey-dokey, which one am I?
Right, right, got it.
Oh, hey, uh, real quick though:
Time machine.
In case things go south,
use "time machine" in a sentence.
That'll be code to back off and regroup.
Okay. Just remember: Tough cop. Silent cop.
Of course.
We need information on an arms deal you were involved in,
with Alexei Volkoff and an agent whose code name is Frost.
And coming my way is...?
Optimal placement at Yucca Mountain,
and favorable parole review.
How about a unicorn, too?
I'm as likely to get that as the crap you just offered up.
You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of...
Sorry.
You want to offer me something?
Witness protection.
For that, I'll spew on Volkoff and Frosty the Snow Bitch.
But we both know that's handled by WitSec,
who I'd be happy to talk with.
Not some wispy man-boy
and a bottle blond with a daddy complex.
You-you got a lot of nerve talking to her like that.
Burton can handle a little ribbing from an old pal.
You're her partner, Chuck, not her boyfriend.
Wait.
You two are actually together?
Uh-us? We? No.
We're not, no.
Oh, get out!
You kids are an item!
He's not just your partner.
Isn't spy sex great?
Heather, we were discussing your-
So. How deep are you? Shacking up?
Doing the dog thing first, or straight to babies?
One?
Five?
Time machine.
Time machine? Really?
Right. Okay...
When I said use it in a sentence,
I was thinking more along the lines of,
"You want to relive your past, honey?
"Then get a time machine."
You know, we really need to take this slow.
Absolutely. Look, I'm sorry I lost it in there,
If you let her get under your skin,
about the living together thing, and about-
the other thing that she mentioned-
we're not gonna get anywhere.
The other-other thing? What is that other thing?
Remember: Tough. Silent.
Do not let her get under your skin.
She's, she's not. She won't- what? Hey.
Okay.
Food, Panzer.
We can contact WitSec...
So when did you two start dating for reals?
But first we need a good faith offering.
You know why she won't talk about this, Chuck.
Because it makes her edgy.
I get it.
You met my so-called husband/con victim, right?
I toyed with normal life.
Played happy homemaker for a while.
And as soon as he got serious, I robbed him blind.
My advice? Pull the ripcord before you get fried.
The only thing getting pulled is a rope-
Hey, look at my time machine!
We have an appointment.
I'm gonna handle this.
I can handle multiple stressors at once.
Angry mob? Of course.
Lifetime of calling Big Mike...
"Dad"?
I really do not like that woman.
Yeah. Yeah, that's clear.
What's not is why this topic of you and me
is such a hot button. What's going on?
Uh, Chuck, we have a problem.
We do? Is that what you wanted to chat about?
'Cause I thought we were en fuego - No, we have a serious problem.
If he's trying to escape, why doesn't he just run?
This might be about me. I kicked his ass on an airplane once.
Hey, Chandler.
Mr. Volkoff says hello.
You send her out now, and no one else dies.
Don't open that door.
Heather?
What is going on? What is this about Volkoff?
This morning,
I got a transfer to Yucca Mountain, out of the blue.
I get in the transport, and that monster's in the other cage.
Volkoff engineered the transfer?
He's capable of it.
Wh-Why would he want to?
What did you do?
Nothing. He's being petty.
I blew a half-a-billion-dollar deal.
The F-22 plans were for him.
I guess he's mad.
Come on, Casey. Pick up.
Come on, Casey.
Real fast, you just inform the...
anxious horde that the game distributor made
a slight error and there's going to be a delay in delivery time.
You know, two weeks.
Sounds like a job for the manager.
No games.
Casey.
Casey, a prisoner has escaped in Castle,
and we're trapped
in cell six. On my way.
Colonel, I know
I'm supposed to be upstairs,
but Doc Bollywood was staring down my shirt
and those losers in line are just freaking me out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get to the cell block...
Greta! Greta, what's happening?
She's indisposed.
Uh, uh. Guys, guys,
uh, Panzer's on the computer right now,
but I can't see what he's doing.
Buying patio umbrellas.
He's trying to get to us, you dope.
Boy, you're a charmer.
Walker, you're going to have to override the Castle lockdown.
Can't get in.
I didn't put the system into lockdown.
I just locked the door to cell six.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Panzer locked us in?
This is not good, people, okay?
I've been locked in enclosed spaces
with this guy before. I handled it fine,
but he got very edgy.
He's using the mainframe to open each cell door.
There's a fire override. I'm going to have to access it.
Hold on.
Come on, come on.
Door two's open.
Hello, Colonel Casey. Welcome to the new
Castle override mainframe.
How can I help you today?
You got to be kidding me.
I'm sorry. Could you repeat that?
And door three.
Location of fire emergency override.
Did you say "hire nursery overhige"?
Why would I say "overhige"? It's not even a real word.
I'm sorry.
I didn't get that.
Door five.
Fire emergency override. Where is it? Or you die.
The fire emergency override is behind my monitor.
Just press control, escape...
Thank you, Casey.
Okay, ladies, let's go. Move out.
You go first. Scare the rats.
No, you go first so I can keep an eye on you.
Sarah.
You. Me. Go now. Come on.
Dude, we're totally screwed.
No. No. This is a positive.
Okay? Today, we get to be challenged.
So I'm going to make a phone call
and I'm going to get us the games that we were promised.
Now, you will handle the launch presentation.
At midnight,
we will settle the crowd.
You will read from the script.
And you'll read from the script slowly.
You don't just drop a role in a man's lap,
and say, "Go, seal, clap for your fish."
I must make this my own
if I am to undertake it.
Whatever.
This is no big deal. I can handle this.
I can handle multiple stressors.
Ugh.
What monkey flung this?
No.
You know, I was thinking
about how some of my favorite movies wind up in air ducts.
Like Aliens and Die Hard.
Although, generally speaking,
it doesn't wind up well for the duct crawlers.
Thanks for that,
movie dork.
I bet you have, like, a Tron poster in your room.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Keep crawling, sister.
Walker, where are you?
We're just passing coupling duct 5A.
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
In ten feet, turn left,
straight on into the junction room.
Heading there to unlock it now.
Any sign of Panzer?
Not at Castle.
But he's after you.
So watch your back.
That's fantastic. You hear that, Chuck?
Stay alert, as in,
don't distract yourself, staring at my tail.
Looking at your- no, no. Thank you, no.
I'm kidding. Jenny-Sarah,
how did you end up with such a goofball?
Masculine goofball, thank you very much.
Oh, you're sweet.
I did the sweet guy thing, too.
I know how it ends.
Sorry. Foot slipped.
Ooh-ooh, touchy.
Must be hitting home.
Of course I am.
SARAH We're almost at the junction.
Three, two, one.
Nice and orderly. You are in for the night...
of your lives.
Don't get your hopes up. There's not enough games.
Shh! Hey, hey. Don't say that.
Everything's fine, everybody. Everything is great.
Go get your- Listen to me.
Stretch it out.
Stretch it out just a bit longer for me, guys,
'cause we are almost out of the woods.
Easy, sister. We've got this covered.
Okay. We've got this covered.
All right.
What do we hear? Oh, yes.
Jerry. What's going on, my man?
What did you score me? How many you got?
What do you got? How many games? Yeah.
Yeah. Two?
Two games. That's- I- That's not enough, Jerry.
I gots to have more games, brother.
Hello? Jerry?
Jerry?
Come on.
Son, your crowd is surly.
And you got no product.
I don't want to tell you how to do your business,
but the sheep need a shepherd.
Yeah. They sure do.
Sheep, huh? Sweet little sheep?
Okay, Casey's going to have to unlock this for us.
Until then...
I'll finish what I was saying.
Running your mouth is not going
to get you witness protection.
You were never going to call witness protection.
So let's just call this payback for lying.
What do you mean, payback?
I got hitched to a dork, just like you-
sweet, dumb,
loyal, a mutt- and that was attractive.
I thought,
"This schmuck is going to make me a better person."
And for ten minutes, I convinced myself
I didn't mind movie night
or dinner at 6:00.
But then my true nature kicked in.
And the reason this conversation has Burton so upset is because
it's doing the same for her.
We're the same.
Not going to dignify this.
Right, yeah. Because we are professionals.
And we cannot hear a word that you are saying.
She's all spy.
White weddings,
rug rats in a minivan? It's not in our wiring.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Heather, guess what? You talk too much.
Burton?
Be kind to him.
He's too sick in love to see the truth.
Just remember,
she keeps secrets for a living.
Tell me, why are we saving your life again?
Because of my connection with Frost.
And my time with her in Burma.
Casey?
I'm right, and she can't face it.
That's why she's upset.
She's not upset, Heather. Okay?
I know what she looks like
when she's upset, and it's more like...
Look out!
Oh!
Chuck!
No!
Help me!
Sorry, kitten. You're on your own.
You know you'd do the same.
Slipping again. Slipping. Sarah!
No, no, no. No, no, no.
Not the tie. Not the tie.
Sarah, help me! Chuck!
Help... me!
Carmichael!
Sarah, help me!
Chuck! Come on.
That felt good.
You know,
they wanted me to read you this trash.
But you deserve better.
We, as a people, deserve better.
Yeah.
So...
brace yourselves for a...
free-form, no-holds-barred...
a- poetry slam.
And a kung fu demonstration of moves in the game Spy Attack.
Can we just buy the dumb game?
Yeah! No,
you cannot!
SARAH How far down did he go?
Could you see the bottom of the duct?
It was too dark.
And I was kind of concentrating on his
fists flying at me.
This morning, I was going to Monte Carlo.
But instead, I spent the night as a canned good.
It's funny the way that life can suck.
Move and you die, tunnel rat.
All right, got him.
Transport on the roof in two minutes.
Frost...
last chance to deal.
You're just a dog with a bone.
No dice.
Good luck.
I'm rooting for you.
But I'm certainly not betting on you.
Shut it, convict.
You're not letting Heather
get to you, are you?
No, of course not. I'm all good.
I know your "all goods" and that was not a real "all good."
It was a fake "all good."
I'm just curious why what she said
got under your skin like that.
Well, once we get rid of these guys,
we will have our chat.
What are you smiling at?
This doesn't smell right.
They're not CIA.
They're Volkoff's men.
Down, down, down, down!
Volkoff must have intercepted our transport.
Chuck, we'll handle the gunfight.
You go after the prisoner.
You go for the exit. I got you covered.
Casey!
I'm all right.
Your man's wounded, pinned down.
Give us Chandler
and you both live.
Hand me over.
Save your ass.
We both know what you're gonna do, so just do it.
You kept me alive for information,
but it's not worth dying over.
I know you, Walker.
I know what you're going to do.
You don't know who I am or what I want
or the thoughts in my head.
We have nothing in common.
On the count of three,
two, one.
That was my last bullet.
The flea-ridden masses infest my house.
Do I cry,
perchance to die?
No, McFly!
This game launch
will not be televised.
Enough, man, just give us the game!
We want the game!
CROWD We want the game! We want the game!
We want the game!
Guys!
We want the game!
Guys!
The games didn't show.
So shut up
and let the poetry slam you.
Thank you.
Freeze, Panzer.
Look awful shaky with that pea shooter, boy.
How's your aim in tight quarters?
Perfect.
'Cause that's the gas line.
You hit that instead of me, this whole building goes.
So it is.
But that doesn't matter, because you're trapped.
Yeah, I don't think these air ducts
were meant to hold 400 pounds, and since most of that is you,
I need you to back up now.
You're losing them, son.
They're going to rampage.
Hey! Hey, hey, don't!
Halt! Halt!
Halt! Everybody just- whoa.
Oh, no. Oh, no!
♪ ♪
Oh, Morgan, Morgan!
Back up. You back up.
Ow!
The engagement ring!
Look, this is a call to arms.
I brought my black case for just such an occasion.
It's in my car. Go get it for me.
I don't work for you.
I do work for you.
Ow!
Get on your feet, son.
I can't. I can't. The-the-the...
There's a riot going on.
Right, right.
But your engagement ring- it fell out of my pocket.
I've looked everywhere. I can't find it.
I screwed up, okay? I need your help.
You find the ring, I'll take care of the riot.
Yes, sir.
Excuse me, fools.
I said excuse me, fools!
That's not fair.
What is this madness?
Yes, we promised something we couldn't deliver.
Yes, had we delivered, you would have been overcharged.
Is that any reason to behave like this?
You got to ditch your lives and spend a full week
with your dorky friends talking video games,
which no sane person would have ever done with you.
And because we came up
a little short on supply,
there's a riot?
Hell no!
This ain't no video game.
It's not.
This is real life.
The truth of life. This violence ends
now! Not later.
Peacefully! With peace.
Quietly! With a whisper.
All civil like. Like a civilian.
Move it. Get out of my way.
Excuse me, son.
You'd best stop-
or I will come down there and make an example of you.
Try and stop me, fat man.
What? Who's this...?
Give me the Disco Stick.
That boy is family,
and my name... is Mike.
Big Mike.
Mr. Big Mike.
All right?
Well done. Yeah.
Another Purple Heart, Casey.
I'm fine.
Gonna be laid up for a while.
Paid vacation.
Yeah. I can't stand the silence.
Well, maybe you could use the time to meet up with Alex.
Figure out what your role is in her life.
Hmm.
You should do the same for Bartowski.
So we can get back
to normal around here, hmm?
Whatever that means.
Operation Beacon.
That's where I met Frost.
What's Beacon?
It was supposed to be an underground arms pipeline,
but I lit out before it was active.
Frost was always around Volkoff.
Doing what exactly?
What does that mean?
I couldn't get the full gist of their relationship.
But she was there.
Maybe she had to be.
That's all I know.
Hugo's ready to roll.
Let's go.
Thank you.
Maybe you're right- maybe we aren't alike at all.
Maybe you are capable of love, affection
and vulnerability.
I hope so.
Chuck seems like a really nice guy.
And he's really in love.
Are you?
Good-bye, Heather.
I looked everywhere, Big Mike.
I couldn't find your ring.
But I did find this.
Don't give me this because you think I'm upset.
The assistant manager's vest is a sacred vestment.
No, I know. Believe me.
But you're the best. You can handle anything.
And I would be proud to have you as assistant manager.
Although I understand if you couldn't quite forgive me yet.
I just want you to know that I'm really sorry about the ring.
Marriage isn't about a ring.
It's a lifelong commitment of compassion and understanding.
Especially for your spouse's idiot relations.
All is forgiven.
Here.
This is yours.
And for what it's worth,
you have my permission to... marry my mom.
Son.
So Beacon-
it's a... it's a place to start.
Bringing us to the...
long-delayed
and much-anticipated... chat.
The other night when you repeated what Awesome said
about us being next having kids-
it scared me.
Okay.
And I wanted to tell you earlier, but, um,
I didn't, and I've been thinking about it all day long.
And Heather kept poking the topic
with a needle.
You're nothing like her.
For a long time, I was exactly like her.
And it took me a night in the guts of the building
to realize that I'm not anymore.
At all.
And I don't want to be.
But I-I do need to take things slow.
I'm not ready for parenthood either.
One day, hopefully,
but not now, not yet anyway.
Who are we kidding?
I'm barely on solid food myself, so...
Okay.
So, slow.
Super slow.
Really slow.
Let's start small.
You tell me ready or not ready.
Okay.
We're on a trip.
One of us forgets our toothbrush.
Do we share?
I am ready to share your toothbrush.
Oh, oh, using the bathroom.
Door open or shut?
Door shut. Always.
Preferably with the sink running
or the radio on.
Yes. Yeah.
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