Hi, I'm Chuck. Here are a few things that
you might need to know.
Come on. Carmichael Industries. The independence and freedom
to do what we want when we want.
I had no idea I had
such strong feelings for him.
I have to disappear for a while.
All members of Carmichael Industries
have a position open to them at the CIA.
If we go back, it's just gonna be missions and secrets.
I don't want to go back.
Okay.
All we need is each other.
So, Mr. Carmichael,
tell me,
how do you feel like dying today?
Honestly? You're gonna make me decide?
I find it says a lot about a man.
I-I, you know, I don't know.
Can't you just pick something?
I've got a lot on my plate right now.
Like what?
Running your own company.
It's just, you know, there's a lot of responsibility
that comes with that.
Not that I don't care about recovering
spent nuclear fuel rods, 'cause I do,
but you got to keep your eye the bottom line.
And with missions, the bottom line is cash, man.
You know, with all these
private security firms out there,
I-I think maybe I'm coming at this the wrong way.
Maybe Carmichael Industries needs a new hook, you know?
Almost there, Chuck.
You're very good at talking.
Exactly.
Any spy can sneak into a building
and-and snap a few necks.
But what are we doing right here, right now, the two of us?
We're talking about our hopes and our dreams.
So you're spies that care?
Can I use that?
I'm glad I could help you, Mr. Carmichael,
but I think I'll start by cutting out your tongue.
That would be a horrible idea.
I would not want to do that.
Especially with such a blunt object.
Stop it, baldy!
Oh, my God.
Chuck, are you okay?
I think we just had a breakthrough, honey.
Do you think it's okay to touch that
without a radiation suit?
Shouldn't be any worse
than a couple dozen X-rays.
We'll be fine, as long as no one's pregnant.
Okay, Casey,
I'm gonna let you take that. Let's go.
Don't tell me you're getting sentimental.
"Welcome back, Gertrude.
"Good to see you, Gertrude.
I missed you, Gertrude."
Just nod your head if you agree with any of this.
Didn't hear you come in.
That's because I took off my heels.
Among other things.
I guess you heard you're not wanted for murder anymore.
Beckman put a lid on that whole Decker thing.
Turns out, he was just a patsy, just...
I didn't fly halfway across the world to be debriefed.
Uh-uh.
That's your job, John.
Mm...
I thought you said you were coming to bed.
Have you been up all night long?
That bad guy got me thinking.
The one who tried to cut your tongue out?
Our mission statement, our mission statement.
We spend so much time focusing on spy missions,
that we've lost sight of the-the, you know, uh,
"what are we doing, why are we here" mission.
Are you feeling okay?
I think that pizza that Morgan left in the fridge
is starting to turn.
I have never thought more clearly in my life.
Oh, "the things we feel but do not share."
What can we, Carmichael Industries, offer our clients
that other security firms can't? Go.
Discount electronics?
We care, Sarah.
We care.
C-A-R-E.
Clandestine Agents
Relating Emotionally.
Get it?
You hate it.
No, I think it's very interesting.
I just, uh, I just feel very queasy suddenly.
Huh.
Maybe the pizza was bad.
Who told you you could get dressed?
It's a work day, remember?
First of all, I have something for you.
Hmm?
Open it.
It's a... sweater.
Why's it so soft?
It's cashmere.
Doesn't feel flame-retardant.
It's the perfect weight for a winter night in South Beach.
What's in South Beach?
The second part of your surprise.
You and I are going to Miami
for three nights at the Maya.
In the middle of the week?
I can't just take off and sun my buns in Miami.
No, no, no.
I have a job.
Two, technically.
Right, right.
I get it.
I'll, uh, call you later.
Okay.
- Good. - Hey.
Don't forget your new sweater.
Why are we looking at surveillance footage
from this morning?
I don't know... yet.
Ever since I got my brain cleaned,
I've had this suspicion that something's happening
behind the scenes here.
Wait a minute.
Is that...?
Bingo.
John Casey wearing
a deep V-neck cashmere sweater.
Who are you, John Casey?
And what's he doing sneaking around the Buy More hours
before his shift starts?
Maybe he's here to meet somebody.
Those two.
Of course they're in on it.
In on what? They're probably just doing it
in the home theater room like I do.
Not likely.
I'm gonna need some three-by-five cards, stat.
Okay.
Stat!
Ooh!
I got to say, I'm grooving on that deep V, Casey.
What do you got here?
"Clandestine Agents Relating Emotionally."
CARE?
Mm-hmm.
You really think this is what our clients want,
private security firm that holds their hands,
builds their self-esteem, tells them they're special?
Isn't that what everyone wants, Casey?
And it's no coincidence that we booked
our first client in forever,
hours after I put my CARE statement on our Web site.
We have a Web site?
Who's the client?
Hey.
I told you I was working.
So am I.
You're the cl-- She's the client?
May I remind you that you have your own personal security firm.
My personnel are stretched a bit thin.
Besides, your company offers a level of service
that other companies just don't offer.
You care.
And I intend to take full advantage of that.
See? Mission statement working already.
♪ Chuck 5x09 ♪ Chuck Versus the Kept Man Original Air Date on January 6, 2012
== sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
Rocky Falcone, cologne wearing scumbag
He's murdered his way into becoming one of the biggest
arms dealers in Miami.
We have some business
that he insists on conducting face-to-face.
You'll act as protection.
Where's the meet?
Miami.
Mm, what a coincidence.
Is it okay
if I make the retainer fee
payable to
Carmichael Industries? Sure.
Actually, I'm gonna pay the whole fee right up front.
We haven't said yes to running...
Yes. Yes.
Meet you on the runway bright and early.
That way, we can catch some pool time.
Sounds good.
See you in the a.m.
What is your problem?
Yeah, seriously, what is your problem?
That was not very caring, Casey.
An above-board arms deal in Miami?
Sounds like a vacation.
Haven't you had enough
kidnapping, torture and bloodshed?
Besides, we haven't
made a cent in months,
and your girlfriend has deep pockets.
She's not my girlfriend.
Whatever you want to call her, she's our new client.
Pack your bags, lover boy.
We're going to South Beach.
Are you going out of town?
Yeah, something came up.
I have to leave for a couple days.
Movie night.
It's okay, we'll do it next week.
And don't worry, I have already chosen
what we'll watch.
"Downton Abbey.worry, I have already chosen
An upstairs/downstairs costume drama in early 1900s England."
Yeah, something tells me, not gonna be a lot of explosions
in that one. Are you kidding?
What about the bombs they drop on Edwardian convention?
Uh, listen, I-I-- yeah.
It's okay, you don't have to explain.
You're my hero.
Please pardon the speculative nature of my research.
This is just the first stab
at what I think our coworkers are really up to.
Okay.
Obviously, some of my deductions are quite tenuous,
but if you'll bear with me for just a moment...
You think they're spies?
Casey and Sarah?
Yes. Probably NSA or CIA.
Chuck is some kind of asset.
The only thing left
to figure out is this.
There's a fourth member of their team.
He's their secret weapon.
What are you guys doing?
He's seen too much. Grab him!
Guys! Guys, guys, guys, guys.
You see how he slipped out like that?
Maybe he's our mystery agent.
Wait, wait, easy. Easy there, Jeffrey.
I was with you on the whole conspiracy theory thing,
but seriously, this loser, a spy?
I mean, come on. Come on. Yeah, I mean, come on.
Either way, he's gonna tell Chuck we're on to him.
Fine. We'll kill him.
What? No. Guys, I'm not gonna tell Chuck squat, all right?
I've been conducting my own investigation,
and you guys are absolutely right.
You nailed it, all right?
There is a mystery agent. I've tracked him down.
And, uh, I got him.
You... are you, uh... you're gonna...
this is gonna blow your mind.
You're gonna be, like, "What? There's no way he's, you know."
But boom, there he is, all right?
If that's not James Bond,
I don't know what is, right? Of course.
♪
Hello, darling.
Oh, garcon, another daiquiri for me. And you?
Just another sparkling water, please.
You heard the lady.
And you can put that on Ms. Verbanski's room.
Thank you very much.
Chuck, Sarah, stay focused on the mission.
Gertrude, you have a bogey closing from your 9:00.
Walker, you have a positive I.D.?
That's a negative on Falcone, but there
could be another one of his heavies.
Your call, Casey.
I'll handle it.
Package for Ms. Verbanski...
Whoa!
Thank you.
A little jumpy, John?
I thought he was one
of Falcone's men. Didn't know what he had.
It's a little something that I found for you in the lobby.
What the hell is it?
It's a swimsuit, John.
Your job is to blend in around here,
and I'd like you to put it on, please.
Change room right there.
Oh, God.
You know, look, I mean, honestly, Falcone
is not gonna be showing his face down here.
You wanna go take a little dip
in the hot tub with me?
No. No, I don't think that's a good idea.
No booze, no Jacuzz, what's gotten into my wife?
Look, why don't you just stay put and take care of the client?
I'm gonna go check on Casey, okay?
Casey.
Just a minute!
Oh, God, I'm coming in.
I can't do it, Walker.
Sometimes Gertrude,
she doesn't even listen to what I'm trying to tell her.
I can sympathize.
Thank you.
But you're putting on that bathing suit.
Like hell.
This is a dream mission, Casey,
and I'm not gonna let you screw it up.
Do you how many skimpy outfits
I have had to put on for this team?
Did you hear me complain when I had to put on a cat suit
or seven-inch platform high heels
or a belly dancing outfit?
Belly dancing?
Okay, that was private.
Look, just put on the banana hammock and stop whining.
You okay, Walker?
You seem a little emotional these days.
Shut up.
Guys, I lost Verbanski.
What? What do you mean, you lost Verbanski?
Falcone musta scoped our Mickey Mouse security.
Verbanski? Verbanski?
She's not responding on comms.
Her signal is still transmitting.
I'm showing her at the far west corner of the hotel.
Casey, I need your help!
We're coming in.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Falcone must be holding her in the Presidential Suite.
Where's Falcone?
We're meeting him for dinner, John.
In the meantime, I suggest we work up an appetite.
I'll show you what's under mine
if you show me what's under yours.
You've been a naughty, naughty colonel.
What is it?
Sarah, what's wrong?
Everything.
It's all wrong.
Well, very smart, Ms. Verbanski:
meeting in public, bringing your own security team.
It's like you don't trust me.
Easy, Casey.
This is my price.
And this is mine...
provided the merchandise meets my specs.
Some woman, your boss.
I have a private weapons range.
Meet me there at midnight.
And don't forget your checkbook.
Are you seriously considering going to an unsecured location?
John, I want those guns.
And when I want something...
Any... Anyhoo, I'd like to, uh,
on behalf of our team,
propose a toast to you
because honestly, kudos. I like how you do business.
Know what I mean?
This op is top-shelf.
Well, you know, at Verbanski Corp we have a work hard,
play hard philosophy.
Here's to playing harder.
Excuse me. I'll be at the bar.
Don't worry. I got this. I got this.
Put it on your tab, Mr. Verbanski?
Mind if I give you a little advice?
If you use the word "care,"
I'm gonna take this glass, shove it down your throat
and punch you in the stomach so it shatters, hmm?
Okay. It's not spy advice.
It's actually relationship advice.
She doesn't want a relationship.
She wants a lackey, a lapdog, a beefcake.
What is Verbanski really trying to tell you,
John, huh?
Because even tough women like Gertrude and Sarah,
they're constantly giving out these secret signals
that you need to be sensitive to.
I know we spend so much time sharpening
our spy senses that we forget to use this, this guy, the heart.
You know what I'm talking about.
And you need to learn how to listen with your heart.
Come on. I'll show you how it's done.
Are you all ready to order?
Oh, uh, I think I might need a couple extra minutes.
Mmm, you just kind of...
gonna have to listen to her, listen to her, okay?
I know what she wants before she knows what she wants.
Observe.
Actually, I'd love to order for my lady.
If you don't mind, hon.
I think to wet her whistle,
she'll start with a glass of your Barolo.
I'm so wrong. We're on vacation.
Vodka martini up.
Thank you very much.
bone-in rib eye
extra rare, I'm talking blue or as blue as you can find.
as in mooing on the plate.
That's bad-- I don't do a good cow.
She's like a book,
and I'm an emotional speed-reader, my friend.
What's going on, bro?
Devon, you have been targeted.
Targeted? What? Who?
Jeff and Lester.
They think that you're some sort of international super spy.
Those idiots? Why?
Because I told 'em.
Maybe it's because Jeff is no longer an idiot, I don't know.
But those two stumbled upon our actual spy operation.
You see?
Gotcha. You need me to throw 'em off the scent.
Hey... now you're thinking like a spy.
Here's the key question:
Can you act like one?
Can I go formal?
I've secured the U-238.
This device will make you
more powerful than you ever dreamed.
Location forthcoming.
Wait, wait, wait.
Are you sure you don't want us to do a little recon
before it's too late?
It's not my first arms deal.
I'm good for my half.
And you?
Ms. Verbanski,
do you always dress your security this well?
Looks soft.
Just show us the guns, huh?
Yeah.
I present to you...
the Aegis.
Please, have a try.
Casey, don't we need ear protection or something?
Huh, not bad.
Not bad.
Verbanski Corp will take full delivery.
Three million dollars.
No deal.
Actually, I'll take your money.
But you can leave me your guns.
Casey, why aren't they dead?
What your boss didn't tell you,
is that the Aegis has a safety feature.
Each gun can be coded so that it can't be fired at someone
carrying an Aegis with the same code.
It's a way of preventing
friendly fire.
Ingenious, no?
Quite.
Except my team's weapons don't have that safety feature.
And it would be a shame if someone got shot.
The price just changed, Rock. How does free grab you?
Okay, would someone like to please explain to me
what the heck is going on?
So this was your plan all along. We were the loser team you hired
so Rocky'd think you were vulnerable.
Nice. No. I still need you, John.
Rocky is just the first piece of the puzzle.
The real mission starts now.
I'm out.
Casey, wait.
Whoa, hey... Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Team meeting, team meeting.
Casey, you can't just walk away.
If you quit now, we'll be lucky to see the retainer.
Besides, what did we talk about at the restaurant, huh?
What did we talk about?
Are you using this?
I think you owe it to our client.
Listen to her signals. What is she really telling you?
You think I need to be more sensitive?
More in tune with my girlfriend's emotions, hmm?
You're one to talk.
What's that supposed to mean?
It means you've got your head
so far up your new CARE manifesto
you don't even realize your own wife thinks she's pregnant
and is hiding it from you.
What are you crazy? There's no way...
There's no way she could be pregnant.
I'd have to be the most clueless,
insensitive, uncaring...
Uh, Chuck...
Sarah, I'm sorry. I didn't exactly pick up on your signals.
No, I'm sorry. I should have just told you.
It just felt like if I said it out loud, it would
suddenly become real.
It's changing, it's changing, it's changing.
What is that-- an equal sign, an arrow?
A peace sign? Is that an option?
Um...
Uh, okay, that means no.
I'm not pregnant.
Okay, all right.
And you feel...?
Strange.
Maybe a little relieved.
Same.
But this whole thing has gotten me thinking
about our lives, our future. Chuck...
I mean, honestly, Sarah, is the spy lifestyle
really where we want to be raising our kids,
you know, putting ourselves in danger every day?
Chuck... Yeah?
You're spiraling.
Mm-hmm.
I need you back in immediately.
I was telling Casey the truth.
I leveraged Rocky Falcone
to give up his supplier.
Pedro St. Germain is notorious.
All guns and narcotics that come up from the South
flow through him. He has an enormous FBI bounty
on his head if I'm not mistaken.
And that's where the real mission comes in.
The FBI hired me to find St. Germain.
And Falcone kindly gave up his exact location in the Everglades.
We're in. We'll be in Miami by nightfall.
Actually, honey, I think we should discuss this.
Discuss what?
I don't think it's safe for prospective parents
to be in a situation like this.
I've been toying with cutting back on the grunt work a little.
That's cute. I just figured you'd want to finish the mission
you started and take some of the proceeds...
Un momento. I was just saying
maybe we should talk about... And she hung up.
Chuck, stop spiraling.
I'm-I'm not spiraling. You're spiraling.
Ooh, yeah, cashmere, nice.
Do you mind? I have a tailor who can make me two sweaters
out of this bad boy.
Rough mission?
I don't want to talk about it.
Okay, that's no problem. Tons to talk about.
Lot of stuff going on at the Buy More.
Verbanski wasn't bringing me a mission.
It was an all-expenses-paid vacation.
Sun, sand, sex.
The nerve of that woman.
I'm not a kept man. I'm a spy, damn it.
Don't I know it.
Trust me.
In fact, I might have a little spy work for you.
What kind of spy work do you have?
Hmm.
I'm making the drop now.
I have my eyes on the drop spot.
Ten-four. Let's go.
Okay. It's oddly comfortable running in heels.
Perfect. Come on.
Just so you know, I'm keeping these shoes.
Calm down, Jeff.
We strike from the east entrance.
Take St. Germain alive.
Figured it was only a matter of time
before that rat Falcone sold me out.
You waving that gun around for show or are you going to use it?
Yeah? I take it this is an apology.
I got your girlfriend, so you might want to listen up.
You got her all tied up, do you?
Uh, yeah, yeah, she is.
Uh-huh. And she needs her big, strong boyfriend
to come rescue her, right?
Again, correct.
And bring $10 million cash.
That's a nice detail.
Look, you tell Verbanski she fooled me once--
she's not going to fool me again, got it?
She said you'd be playing hardball.
Don't pay him anything, Casey!
I can handle it myself!
Didn't I tell you to shut up?!
Gertrude? Gertrude?
So $10 million by tonight
or she dies.
Okay.
10 mil good to go.
Think they'll check to see if it's counterfeit?
Oh, I'm pretty sure they will. If all goes according to plan,
they're not going to be in any condition to check anything.
Undetectable if the case is searched.
Walker, when I say the code word "CARE,"
you start picking off the guards so I can get to my weapon.
And my job would be?
You're getaway driver.
Trust me, Chuck, you don't want to have
anything to do with this.
It's going to be a bloodbath in there.
You just be ready for extraction when the time comes.
Okay, let's do it. Oh, hey, Walker, listen.
You sure you're not, uh...?
I'm not pregnant.
Okay.
Because this is going to be dangerous... I know.
I get how dangerous it is. Let's go.
Stop. I'm unarmed.
I'm here for a trade with St. Germain.
There's a guy here who says he wants to make a trade
with St. Germain.
Copy that.
- What if we had a baby at home? - Excuse me?
What if we had a baby relying on us to come home,
and something happened?
Something? Something, anything.
I don't know, we didn't come home.
Who would raise the kids?
What-what would happen then?
Honey, we don't have a baby, let alone babies plural.
Not now, but we will.
Maybe you're right--
spying and parenting just don't go together.
Sarah, you're spiraling, okay?
Take a deep breath.
Everything's going to be fine, I promise.
Okay.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
We need to split up.
Your knight in shining armor has arrived.
Let's see what you brought me.
I'm almost to the compound, Casey.
Ah!
Sarah! I'm coming!
Ah... Sarah, are you okay?
Yeah. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
It was just a flash grenade. But I-I can't see.
I could've handled this myself.
I couldn't leave you out here in the swamp.
Because I care.
Okay, that's Casey. You've got to go.
Are you crazy? I'm not going to leave
you here alone. No. I'll be fine in a minute.
Please, just take my gun in case something goes wrong, okay?
I'm not gonna need it, I have the AEGIS.
I love you.
Be safe, okay?
I said, I care.
Ah, maybe I care too much.
I've been working so hard on my spy senses, too.
My eyes,
my ears, my fists...
What I should've been working on is this.
John, stop. Stop.
Please stop.
No, I can't, Gertrude...
because I love you.
And I need you to know how much I care.
I care a lot.
I don't know who you're trying to signal, man,
but it all stops right now.
Sorry I'm late.
I've got the Aegis. They can't hit us.
We need to get to cover!
I am the cover!
Move, move, move! Ah, ah...
Move!
I heard your speech!
It's great that you're opening up your heart like that!
Yeah.
Move, move!
Good show!
Very entertaining.
But shotguns don't have safeties.
Don't worry. I wore my seatbelt.
Hey.
Everything all right?
Yeah, I'm just doing some thinking.
Uh...
I have a small confession to make:
part of me was kind of hoping that I was pregnant.
I've thought a lot about that, too.
And... yeah, I think it'd be kind of exciting.
I mean, it's not like I want a baby right this second,
but it's not the worst idea in the world.
No. No, it's not.
Listen to us, talking about kids,
and a house, and a real family.
Did you think we'd ever be talking about stuff like this?
Nope.
Especially not with such a huge nerd.
Ah ha ha...
♪
Thought we were past this.
Just open it.
Stops anything this side of a .30-06.
I saw you eyeing that guard's vest in Miami.
Look, I'm...
I'm sorry for dragging you on a glorified vacation.
I... I guess it was
just my misguided way of saying that I...
want to be close to you.
Thanks.
I feel the same.
I know Miami wasn't really your scene.
But my next mission is in a much better place.
Dresden. Ah... Dresden.
Harsh, cold.
Come with me. Two months, real danger.
Who knows? We could both get shot.
You know I'd love to.
But, um, two months is a long time to be away from here.
Mm, well...
when you're ready,
I'll be there.
Unless, of course, you have another woman behind the scenes.
No.
Not exactly.
So, I have this friend.
She's out of town right now, but I'd like...
for you to meet her sometime.
"Friend"?
Like a girlfriend?
Nah... not like a girlfriend.
Okay.
Yeah, actually, like a girlfriend.
Well, I would, uh... love to meet her.
Perfect.
Oh, no. What?
The housemaid is laying out coffee spoons with
the dinner service.
There is going to be hell to pay
at Downton Abbey tonight.
So...
Devon Woodcomb--
who, last time I checked,
was an extremely handsome medical doctor--
and you think he's building a nuclear bomb?
We know the location of the bomb.
We don't just think it; we know it!
Voilà!
That's a Outback coupon.
So it is.
Voilà!
Come with us.
Let's blow this thing wide open.
Yeah, fine.
I've only walked .53 miles today.
Another few steps wouldn't hurt me.
You, sir, are an American hero.
He's up to something.
What on earth?
After we open this door, there's no going back.
Let's do this.
I'm still at 1,500 steps.
Oh, careful, careful. Careful.
Ahem.
What are you guys doing here? How'd you find this place?
Uh, the better question is, what are you doing here?
Really, what are you doing here? I'm-I'm confused.
Ellie doesn't like
my workout equipment around the house, so...
I figured this would be perfect.
Chuck told me about this abandoned basement.
But...
the U238.
It was being delivered here.
You mean this?
About to make my biceps go nuclear.
Then why all the secrecy?
Well, some of these exercise techniques aren't exactly...
legal... in the US.
If you catch my drift.
Are you two happy?
Let the statuesque man
work out in peace.
Is that a pedometer?
Got a whole box of them upstairs.
Sweet.
I'll work you out a deal.
Yeah, we got to work out sometime, Big Mike.
I like your style.
Do a lot of working out.
It's too easy.
Well...
The whole search... worthless.
There's no spies, no secret base.
Nothing.
Ah, Jeffrey, you know...
maybe this wasn't a search for a secret spy base.
Maybe this was a search
for friendship.
How do you mean?
I don't know.
I just wanted to say something to cheer you up.
Would you just come here?
Okay, buddy? Okay?
All right, let's get out of here.
Thank you. This place reeks.
What the...?
It's still wet.
Oh. Oh, yeah.
Remember when I was at Pine Ridge?
The, uh, mental institution? Yeah.
It was so dreary,
they'd actually put fake backdrops in the windows.
That's pretty cruel.
I always knew it was fake.
Um, where are we going with this, buddy?
I guess what I'm trying to say is...
it's not always easy to trick a mental patient.
I knew it!
We were right!
Lester...
Jeffrey!
Oh... crap.
I mean, we got a problem. Yeah, yeah, I'd call it that.
== sync, corrected by elderman ==> Resync for WEB-DL by Norther