1 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,120 [theme music playing] 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:16,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 3 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:23,600 ["The Air That I Breathe" by The Hollies playing] 4 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:30,560 [Jeremy] Without a doubt, the cows had been a very pleasing addition 5 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:32,760 to Diddly Squat farm. 6 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:35,120 [music continues] 7 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,880 Good cows. 8 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,080 Aren't they great? Really. I mean, look at them! 9 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:50,720 [Jeremy] They'd come here to rejuvenate the soil. 10 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,320 And they were doing a good job. 11 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,920 [Jeremy] Hello, Pepper! How are you this morning? 12 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:58,720 [mooing] 13 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:03,880 [Jeremy] But to make that eco project pay its way, 14 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,440 they'd need to produce meat for my new restaurant. 15 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:09,920 [Jeremy] Come on, Deeny. In you go. 16 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,560 [Jeremy] Which is why, a month earlier, 17 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,680 we'd spent £500 18 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:17,520 artificially inseminating Deeny and Pepper. 19 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:19,480 [Dilwyn] Two heifers potentially pregnant. 20 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,200 [Jeremy] Come on, mooties. 21 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,440 [Jeremy] And today, Dilwyn the vet would find out 22 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,240 if the treatment had worked. 23 00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,280 So I'm basically doing a scan. 24 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,680 There's a beam of ultrasound coming out from there, 25 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,280 and then you will see what I see through these. 26 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:39,640 -Oh, you've got your goggles on. -I've got my goggles on. 27 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,960 Right. Okay. That's the uterus. 28 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:50,320 So we're basically slicing the uterus and we're looking at the cut surface. 29 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,040 You know these things, when woman are pregnant? 30 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:53,400 I've never been able to see a baby. 31 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,400 When they show you those ultrasound photographs, I can never see a baby. 32 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,360 -[Dilwyn] It'll look like a broad bean. -[Lisa] A broad bean? 33 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,160 [Lisa] Um... 34 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,440 I can't see a calf in here. 35 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:07,960 Oh God. 36 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,440 [Dilwyn] So she's not in calf as far as I'm concerned. 37 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:14,360 [Jeremy] Come on, Pepper, my love. 38 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,080 There she goes! 39 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:17,560 Right, I've gotcha. 40 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,120 [Lisa] I think she's gonna be up the duff. 41 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,320 [Jeremy] So we're looking for a broad bean. 42 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:27,040 [Dilwyn] A white broad bean in black fluid. 43 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,240 [Lisa] Come on, Pepper. 44 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,240 [Dilwyn] No, she's not in calf. 45 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,760 [Jeremy] Bugger. Bugger, bugger. 46 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:46,840 -[Dilwyn] It is a bit sad, isn't it? -[Lisa] Yeah. 47 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:50,960 So, you've gotta decide where you want to go from here. 48 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:54,960 [Jeremy] Well, we've gotta get them pregnant somehow. 49 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:57,520 Shall we try and bring them on one more time for A.I.? 50 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,600 [Jeremy] Well, if we do another A.I. 51 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,800 and it doesn't work, then we're going to have this gap 52 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,080 where the ladies and gentlemen will come to the restaurant, 53 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:08,440 and we'll have to serve them salad. 54 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,800 Nobody wants to eat that shit. 55 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,360 You could get a bull in. 56 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,920 The timing is better with a bull. 57 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:19,520 The amount of semen that the bull deposits is a lot greater. 58 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,280 And also it's fresher as well. 59 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:22,520 Are you allowed to just keep bulls? 60 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,280 -Yeah. -[Dilwyn] Yeah, you are. 61 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:25,800 But you'd have to put signs up at the footpath. 62 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,600 -[Kaleb] Yeah, it's fine. -To say "Beware of the bull". 63 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,360 The nuclear option, which isn't quite so popular, 64 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,400 is that you eat the heifers. 65 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:35,960 -Eat them? -[Dilwyn] You slaughter the heifers. 66 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:38,520 -We gave them names! -Now, there's an idea. 67 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,240 I'm not eating Pepper! And that's just an end of it. 68 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,480 These two are the heifers that were bought for breeding purposes. 69 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:46,520 [Kaleb] Welcome to farming. 70 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:49,800 You've just gotta push it down. 71 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,600 [Jeremy] With that terrible thought in mind, 72 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:56,560 I booked the heifers in for another round of expensive A.I., 73 00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:00,680 even though Cheerful Charlie had said that in this neck of the woods, 74 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:04,520 there's a good chance the cows wouldn't live that long. 75 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:08,000 Earlier in the week, he brought along a map 76 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,080 which charted the alarming spread 77 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:14,000 of deadly bovine tuberculosis in the area. 78 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,200 It's like a hotspot in this part of the world. 79 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:19,360 [Jeremy] Jesus. That's close, in Bledington. 80 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,320 -Look on Norton, of Chipping Norton... -[Jeremy] Oh, yes. 81 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:25,320 -[Charlie] I would say that's closer. -[Jeremy] That's a mile away from here. 82 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,320 [Jeremy] So, as Dilwyn was here, 83 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:32,760 I sat down with him to get fully briefed. 84 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:36,360 Cows can either get it from other cows with TB 85 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,120 or they can get it from wildlife. 86 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,240 -Which is deer and badgers. -[Dilwyn] Yeah. 87 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,320 You know, the cows are quite inquisitive. 88 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:47,000 So basically when they have a badger walking across the field, 89 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:48,480 they'll go up and sniff that badger. 90 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:50,480 They can't do that with a deer 91 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,320 'cause the deer's gone three fields away. 92 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,920 Whereas a badger will actually interact with a cow. 93 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,360 And the thing is with deer and foxes 94 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:01,520 is that you can actually shoot foxes and keep them away from your land. 95 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,680 You can't shoot badgers and keep them away from your land. 96 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:08,160 They are a protected species since mid-1980s. 97 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,680 To stop badger baiting. 98 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,880 But badger baiting isn't a problem anymore. 99 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,720 So I think the government needs to adjust 100 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,240 what is protected and what is not protected 101 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:21,040 because some of the animals are over-protected at the moment. 102 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,320 And if one of my cows catches it, 103 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:25,920 it has to be shot? 104 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,360 Yes, it has to be, yeah. 105 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:30,560 Um... 106 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:32,920 I don't know what to do. 107 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,000 You've got Brian May running around going, "Oh, badgers are lovely," 108 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:37,480 and Countryfile telling you every week: 109 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,120 "Aren't they sweet and aren't they fluffy, 110 00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:40,720 and look at their little whiskers." 111 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:44,040 So I can't shoot them 'cause everyone thinks they're sweet. 112 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:45,520 I don't know what to do. 113 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,520 You've got a bit of a voice at the moment. So it might be worth... 114 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,200 I know, but I've got a voice 'cause of this lot. 115 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:53,360 And because I've got this lot we can't... 116 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,200 quietly break the law. 117 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:57,160 Yes. But the... 118 00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:00,920 Why don't you all go and do The Holiday Programme or something for a week? 119 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,800 And then come back in a week... 120 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:06,160 We could have solved our badger problem. 121 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:07,560 We'll have solved the badger problem, yes. 122 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,240 [upbeat music] 123 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,000 [Jeremy] Following my chat with Dilwyn, 124 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:19,160 I decided to find out how many badgers were living on the farm. 125 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:20,480 How are you, Tom? 126 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,880 [Jeremy] Which meant calling up conservationist Tom... 127 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,600 -Are you well? -Yeah, I am, yeah. 128 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,840 [Jeremy] ...who, in the last series, 129 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:32,160 had put me firmly in my place on the issue of water voles. 130 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:36,280 What if we just scooped the whole area up? 131 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,480 The water vole wouldn't know. 132 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:39,760 And then go and put it over there? 133 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:41,680 -No, Jeremy. No. -Why not? 134 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:48,000 [Jeremy] Tom had brought along badger specialist Andy. 135 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,120 This is where they mainly go in, that way. 136 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:53,840 [Jeremy] And we all set off to look for evidence of badger life 137 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,920 which, worryingly, didn't take long. 138 00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,640 [Andy] You've got a couple of very active holes in here. 139 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:01,920 You see how many tons of soil have been kicked out? 140 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,120 -This one here. -[Jeremy] Oh my... 141 00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:04,680 [Andy] Yeah, plenty of activity around here. 142 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,440 We've got a big old sett entrance here. 143 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:09,080 -More tracks there. -[Tom] Yeah. 144 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,760 -[Jeremy] That looks man-made. -[Tom] Yeah. 145 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,240 [Jeremy] It looks like a sort of Victorian sewer. 146 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:17,480 The other one is absolutely enormous just through here. 147 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,680 [Jeremy] Jesus Christ! 148 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:23,080 How big's a badger sett under the ground? 149 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:24,560 [Tom] What do you think, Andy, for this one? 150 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:27,240 Well, some of them can go up to forty metres 151 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:28,240 underneath the ground. 152 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:31,440 But normally five, ten, fifteen metres down. 153 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:32,960 There'll be several chambers dotted around. 154 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,080 -Five or ten metres? -Metres, yeah. 155 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,160 Well, imagine a forty-footer, a forty-metre one. 156 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:39,160 I mean, that's enormous. 157 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:43,960 [Jeremy] Tom's trademark red flags hammered home the problem. 158 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,560 And he was quick to warn me not to think 159 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,280 what he thought I was thinking. 160 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:51,960 [Tom] Unfortunately, Jeremy, 161 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:55,440 you're facing one of the most heavily legislated mammals in the country. 162 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:56,400 [Jeremy] You can't shoot them. 163 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:57,760 -No. -Or gas them. 164 00:07:57,920 --> 00:07:59,240 -No. -Or fill in their holes. 165 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:00,360 Nope. 166 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:01,960 Oh, it's always "no". 167 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:06,000 But... Let's put it this way. 168 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,200 I have a friend, 169 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:10,480 who lives nearby. 170 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,800 And he's dealing with his badger problem... 171 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,360 at night. 172 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:22,880 What would happen to him if he were to be caught shooting the badgers? 173 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:25,840 If he was caught, basically, 174 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,440 damaging the sett, 175 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,040 harming a badger, killing a badger, 176 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:31,840 if there's any evidence that follows that, 177 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,240 then you can be proved that you've done it... 178 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:34,520 No, my friend's done it. 179 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:36,120 OK, well if your friend's done it, 180 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:39,880 he's susceptible to risk 12 months in prison. 181 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:43,880 -Right. I'll tell him. -£40,000 fine per badger. 182 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,400 -Per badger? -And per sett. 183 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,320 -So... -So he could be in serious trouble. 184 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,960 Could be in serious trouble. Don't disturb the setts. 185 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:54,880 No. 186 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:56,840 [soft music] 187 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:01,720 [Jeremy] There was, of course, always the slim chance the setts were empty. 188 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:06,040 So to find out, Casper the cameraman set up some Claymores-- 189 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,320 I mean trap cams. 190 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:12,040 [ominous music] 191 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,880 And the results were terrifying. 192 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,120 [music continues] 193 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:38,760 [Jeremy] Since my poor herd was clearly in the cow equivalent of Rorke's Drift... 194 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,880 I was forced to spend even more money 195 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:47,320 installing some badger protection measures. 196 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,240 On that rough bit of ground there. 197 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:50,480 [Jeremy groans] 198 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,600 [Jeremy] We raised the height of the water troughs. 199 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,640 [Jeremy] Take that, badger! 200 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:56,880 [Kaleb] Perfect. 201 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:01,120 [Jeremy] Electrified the fences near their setts. 202 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,600 And installed some new feed troughs. 203 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:05,880 [Kaleb] That's it. 204 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,040 Got these rollers on the sides 205 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,440 so that when the badger comes and puts his paws on, it goes like that, 206 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:13,440 falls down. 207 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:17,880 He can't get at the cow food, so he can't spread his germs around. 208 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:19,600 Excellent. 209 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,960 [Jeremy] And the expensive cow jobs weren't finished there, 210 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,000 because, with winter approaching, 211 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:31,320 we now had to build them a barn. 212 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,040 [Jeremy] Can I just ask : 213 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,440 why the cows need to come in in the winter? 214 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:37,880 Why do we need to build them all that? 215 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,720 [Kaleb] Normally, the ground can't take them. 216 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,720 So, like, they weigh about a ton, yeah? 217 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,200 And some cows obviously weigh a little more. 218 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,160 But ours weigh about a ton. 219 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,600 So therefore in the winter months, when it gets really wet, 220 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:52,520 the ground gets poached and they could stand up into there. 221 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,160 They ruin the ground? 222 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,400 So you have to put them in a shed? 223 00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:57,760 Yeah, in a shed. 224 00:10:58,280 --> 00:10:59,840 [Jeremy] The team building the shed said 225 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,240 that if I wanted to make myself useful, 226 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,840 I could take away the subsoil they were digging up 227 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,920 to make the site level. 228 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,600 I always think that if you're going to wear one, 229 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:13,320 you better be safe and wear two, 'cause it's just stupid 230 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:14,800 to only wear one. 231 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,320 There we go, I'm fully safe. 232 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:18,760 [man] I got you a double XL as well. 233 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,000 You can fuck off. 234 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:21,680 [laughs] 235 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,080 [upbeat music] 236 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:27,880 [Jeremy] Once the soil was loaded, 237 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:32,720 I took it to a small abandoned quarry at the top end of the farm. 238 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:34,440 [upbeat music] 239 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,320 [Jeremy] Here we go, ramming speed. 240 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,440 Let's see if I can get this to go in the hole. 241 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:44,400 Tilting. 242 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,040 Oh yeah. 243 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,600 -Hello! -[Charlie] Hi. 244 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,520 -[Jeremy] How are you? -All right, thanks. How are you? 245 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:51,560 [Jeremy] Good. 246 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,200 So this is the spoil from the cattle shed? 247 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:55,600 The cow house, yes. 248 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,480 As long as you've done your waste exemption licence you're fine. 249 00:11:59,040 --> 00:11:59,840 [Jeremy] What? 250 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,440 -You haven't filled one out, have you? -No, Charlie, it's my quarry. 251 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:04,800 [Charlie] I know. 252 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,960 - So I am moving-- - But how do you-- 253 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:08,360 If you have a garden-- 254 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,600 You have to declare that the soil you're putting in there 255 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,080 is free from contamination. 256 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:16,320 So you have to fill out a waste exemption licence. 257 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,800 -There is a soil police? -There is a soil police. 258 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:20,880 There's an every sort of police. Anyway... 259 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,280 -I've got some great news. -What? 260 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,200 Have you seen Kaleb's runway at the rape? 261 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:30,920 [Jeremy] The runway turned out to be indisputable evidence 262 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:34,440 that the self-proclaimed "best farmer at Diddly Squat" 263 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,480 had screwed up. 264 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:39,240 That brown patch, that's Kaleb's, that's not been drilled. 265 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:40,520 He's missed it. 266 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,720 [Jeremy scoffs] Hilarious. 267 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,680 [Jeremy] I immediately abandoned my chores 268 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,720 so I could take Kaleb for a little drive. 269 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,400 [Jeremy] Um... I've got a question for you. 270 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:56,640 This field of rape, when I was in my tract- 271 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,040 Oh, you can see it actually, even in the Range Rover. 272 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:00,320 Yeah, I can see it. 273 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:08,160 I know what you're gonna say, as well. "You missed a bit." 274 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:10,400 -I didn't. -I'm really sorry, Kaleb. 275 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:13,960 -This is not a bit. This is... -But I didn't miss it, though. 276 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,200 -Well... -No, honestly, I did not miss it. 277 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:20,160 [Jeremy] Look, if this is six metres, it's the exact width of the drill. 278 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:22,200 One, two, 279 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:26,080 three, four, five, six. 280 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,040 [Kaleb] Yeah, but I haven't missed it. 281 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,360 -The exact width of the... -If I missed it I'd hold my hands up. 282 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,400 But we've got rape growing in there, look. 283 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:35,360 Look at that bit of rape plant there. Rape plant there. 284 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:36,480 -No, Kaleb. -Rape plant there. 285 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,320 [Jeremy] Drilled. 286 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:40,280 Drilled. 287 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:41,880 -Not drilled. -It is drilled. 288 00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:44,320 [Jeremy] You haven't drilled it. 289 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,320 I mean, it's all very well saying there's rape growing in it. 290 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:48,840 There's one... 291 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:49,960 Two. 292 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,080 Three, four, five. 293 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:54,680 [Jeremy] That's a dandelion. 294 00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:56,400 [Kaleb] It's not my fault. 295 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,480 I'm not taking the blame for this. 296 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,120 What? 297 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,320 Who was it? Nicholas Witchell? 298 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,480 Judi Dench? Who did it? 299 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,840 [Jeremy] Given that Kaleb was occasionally incompetent 300 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,680 and I was constantly useless, 301 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,200 it was odd that we'd been invited 302 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,920 to the British Farming Awards in Birmingham 303 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:19,120 to receive a gong. 304 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:24,000 Naturally, Kaleb said he needed a new haircut for the occasion. 305 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,280 Which meant we were late setting off. 306 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,520 But luckily my other job meant 307 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,080 I had just the right car that week 308 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,120 to get us there on time. 309 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,680 [engine roaring] 310 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,280 Fucking hell! 311 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:52,600 [Kaleb] I want one. 312 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,880 -You want one of these? -Yeah. 313 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:55,880 Lambos are the best. 314 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:59,240 If you're gonna have a really, really idiotic car, 315 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,000 you have to have a Lamborghini, 316 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:03,680 because they're the most idiotic cars. 317 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:04,680 [Kaleb laughs] 318 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,480 You have to love it. 319 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,560 So go on, just talk me through your hair. 320 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:11,560 What style would you call that? 321 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:14,240 -Um... -What did you say to the barber? 322 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,440 "Can I have tram lines?" And she knew exactly what I meant. 323 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,400 Alright, tram lines. But then the bit on the top... 324 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:20,360 That's a perm, still. 325 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,600 -No! -It is. 326 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:23,360 It's completely different to your old perm. 327 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,280 It's a bit of volume in the perm. 328 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:30,440 I think you and Gerald should start a new British detective programme 329 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,440 called Perm and Mullet. 330 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,320 It sounds like a couple of detectives 331 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:39,000 who run around the countryside solving rural crime. 332 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:41,840 [Kaleb] I farm all this. 333 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,440 What, this? Oh, it's you? 334 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:44,840 Yeah, this farm here. 335 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,360 So have you missed a bit on this farm as well? 336 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:51,120 I think I vaguely remember that, actually. 337 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,600 [upbeat music] 338 00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,080 [Jeremy] As darkness fell, 339 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,720 we arrived at the farming Oscars. 340 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,800 Ah, there you go. Drop me off over there. 341 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:06,240 -Where? -Just by the red carpet. 342 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,040 I'm not dropping you by the red carpet. 343 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,680 -Why? -I'm not dropping you. 344 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,800 -Just over there. -I am not your chauffeur. 345 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,080 -[Kaleb] It's my award. -[Jeremy] It's not your award. 346 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,800 [Kaleb] It is. Please? Just... just there. 347 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,760 -Oh, for God's sake. -Thank you. All right? 348 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:21,560 Thank you. 349 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:23,640 [Jeremy] You owe me one for this. 350 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:25,400 Go and park the car. 351 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:27,760 How're we doing? 352 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,840 -Make sure it's close. -[Jeremy] Shut up. 353 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:33,840 Oh, I'm gonna have to go round the block. Jesus. 354 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,800 How're we doing? 355 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,960 [upbeat music] 356 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:43,000 [Jeremy] Inside, Kaleb's red-carpet moment continued. 357 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,880 We just want to celebrate. That's all we want. 358 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:47,520 You deserve a medal! 359 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:49,400 [woman] Would you just give us a photo? 360 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,240 [indistinct chatter] 361 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,760 Yeah, the only difference between genetically and modifying 362 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,920 is that you can insert DNA from different organisms. 363 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:04,000 But with gene editing, you're editing the organism itself. 364 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,640 [indistinct chatter] 365 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:08,960 [Kaleb] See my little cufflinks? 366 00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:10,560 [woman] Aw! They're wicked! 367 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,920 -That's so cute! -Where'd you get those from? 368 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:17,160 [Jeremy] Once the rural Brad Pitt had finished doing the rounds... 369 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:18,720 [Vernon Kay] Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! 370 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,320 [Jeremy] ...we sat down for the awards, 371 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:24,800 which were being hosted by none other than Vernon Kay. 372 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,640 Ladies and gentlemen, you are the great, 373 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:32,160 the good, the awesome of the British farming industry. 374 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:33,560 [applause] 375 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,680 [Jeremy] How right he was. 376 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,760 James Drummond! A&WJ Drummond! 377 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,080 [applause] 378 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:44,880 [Jeremy] Over the next hour I saw awards given out to unsung heroes. 379 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:46,920 Thank you very much. 380 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,080 [cheering] 381 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:52,280 [Jeremy] People who work day and night at the mercy of weather, 382 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,560 world politics and Whitehall nonsense... 383 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,800 Just to put food on all our tables. 384 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,760 [cheering] 385 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,000 [applause and cheering] 386 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:06,880 [Jeremy] So I felt quite humbled when this happened. 387 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,800 The Flying the Flag for British Agriculture Award. 388 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,760 Kaleb Cooper and Jeremy Clarkson! 389 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,560 [applause and cheering] 390 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,440 Obviously I'm a fraud here. 391 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,080 Of course I'm not a farmer. 392 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:24,000 I'm a trainee farmer at best. Stop nodding! 393 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,480 I couldn't have done it without him. 394 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,640 Ladies and gentlemen, Kaleb Cooper! 395 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,400 [applause and cheering] 396 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:33,560 I won an award! 397 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:36,320 [Jeremy] If this had been the Oscars, 398 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,560 everyone would have headed off at this point 399 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:41,320 to the Vanity Fair after-party. 400 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,640 Here, though, it was time for the annual cider-drinking contest. 401 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,440 [applause and cheering] 402 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,080 [Vernon Kay] Right, we have a winner. Well done! 403 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:55,520 [lively music] 404 00:18:56,560 --> 00:19:00,560 [Jeremy] The next morning, while Kaleb got over his hangover... 405 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,080 240 yards. 406 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:06,520 [Jeremy] I was up early, planning a bit of boss-hoggery. 407 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:08,560 Right. 408 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:13,320 So each letter would be 17 yards long... 409 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,480 The cockend...? 410 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,160 No. 411 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,960 One, two, three, four... 412 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,200 [groans] 413 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,000 Here. 414 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,160 This is an S. 415 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:26,760 Lovely. 416 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:27,960 There. 417 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,440 This job's going to take a long time. 418 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,400 But it's worth it. 419 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:35,080 Wildflower seeds. 420 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,800 Good for the birds, good for the bees. 421 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,880 And a handy reminder to Kaleb 422 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:43,320 to not be on Instagram when driving a tractor. 423 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,160 Yeah, that's it. 424 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:49,760 [Jeremy] With my message planted, 425 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,960 it was time to crack into the day's jobs. 426 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:57,640 And first up there was a visit from my NFU rep Georgia 427 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:01,960 who, in the first series, had taught me how to drive a tractor. 428 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:03,320 [Georgia] Hello! 429 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,440 [Jeremy] Today, though, she was here 430 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:08,280 to talk about the menace of badgers. 431 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:10,480 If you get TB, 432 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:13,080 not only have you got a huge financial hit, 433 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:17,320 your hands are literally physically tied until you become clear of TB, 434 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,960 because your farm is virtually shut down. 435 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,400 And that means you get put under restriction. 436 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,000 -So the cows-- -You can't sell your beefs? 437 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:28,000 No, and the cows you lose to TB, you can't buy in new ones, 438 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,320 so your input is stopped, 439 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,760 and your output is stopped because you can't sell your cows at market. 440 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,440 And then, as you say, that's me out of the cattle market. 441 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:40,920 Yeah. Currently it's costing not just farmers their livelihoods, 442 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:42,760 and a huge amount of their profit... 443 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,200 In fact some people are having to give up 444 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,720 their herds and their farming practices because of the disease. 445 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:51,480 It costs the taxpayer 150 million this year just gone. 446 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:55,320 The taxpayer paid 150 million to slaughter cattle that had caught TB. 447 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:56,320 All the measures. 448 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,960 And farmers are being literally wiped out by it. 449 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:02,160 But we need to have greater understanding of the disease, 450 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,080 'cause that's only a good thing. 451 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,280 And this is where I thought you might be interested in these. 452 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,560 The idea of this project 453 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:13,320 is to look into whether there's TB in the badger carcases. 454 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,560 So they've got to be road killed or found dead carcases. 455 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:18,000 Sometimes when you're driving across the road, 456 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,560 you'll see one on the side of the road. 457 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:21,280 If it's relatively fresh, 458 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,000 that is a good candidate for this project. 459 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,160 -So if I found a carcass on the road... -[Georgia] Yes. 460 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,200 Which is fresh, like I've just run over-- 461 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,240 No I haven't, I mean someone's just run over it. 462 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:33,880 It could be me or Kaleb... 463 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:35,640 We put it in a bag, 464 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,200 and then if it's got TB 465 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:39,920 there's a good chance 466 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:43,720 that the other badgers around here have got TB. 467 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:47,080 Well, it's about building a picture over a large landscape. 468 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,560 Exactly, so how many badgers have to be run over 469 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,800 -for you to have a meaningful figure? -Found. 470 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,040 So in Oxfordshire, we're looking to find a hundred. 471 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:58,800 So all my neighbours have got to find dead badgers. 472 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:01,880 Roadkill or ones that are already found dead. 473 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,760 So when you find a badger you... 474 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,520 Before touching it, 475 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:07,960 you get these bags ready. 476 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:11,680 You find your badger carcass, you're absolutely sure it's dead, 477 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,880 and if it isn't you ring your vet. 478 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:16,160 You don't just hit it with a hammer. 479 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,920 No, you absolutely do not just hit it with a hammer. 480 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:21,720 ["Alone Again Or" by Love playing] 481 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,760 [Jeremy] So we were on the front foot with the badgers. 482 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,680 And the cowshed was coming along nicely. 483 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,480 Which meant I could turn my attention back 484 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,800 to creating produce for the restaurant. 485 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,160 [music continues] 486 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,080 The first project had begun a while ago, 487 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,600 when I'd bought a share of a local brewery, 488 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,160 and asked Rick, the master brewer there, 489 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:58,160 to create a lager using Diddly Squat barley. 490 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:06,400 [Jeremy] So this is where it's coming from? 491 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:07,920 [Rick] Exactly. 492 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:14,120 [Jeremy] And now, a couple of months later, it was ready to sample. 493 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:16,880 [Rick] Is there a name for this beer? 494 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,840 -Yeah, I've got an idea. -Ah, good. 495 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,320 There's this rock, 496 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,400 it's not quite on the farm, but very close to where we grow the spring barley. 497 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,960 -Yes. -And it's called The Hawkstone. 498 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,560 It was put there by Neolithic people. 499 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:36,160 Thousands and thousands of years ago, Stonehenge time. 500 00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:38,160 -Wow! -It sounds cold. 501 00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:40,680 -It does, doesn't it? -It sounds Cotswoldy. 502 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,160 -[Jeremy] Right, is this it? -[Rick] Yes. 503 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:46,600 Mmm! 504 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:48,960 It's a nice beer. 505 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,120 The difference between the premium and this new brew 506 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,200 is probably all about hops as well. 507 00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:58,120 We've chosen some quite interesting hops, 508 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,880 and one has melon-type characteristics. 509 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:02,960 It's called Hüll Melon. 510 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:04,880 So that's from that one hop, 511 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,440 but you might be getting other fruity flavours 512 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,360 from a hop called Mandarina Bavaria. 513 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:11,360 Mmm. 514 00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:13,800 Well it's... It's brilliant. 515 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,200 For me I get a soft and clean style of beer. 516 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,360 So if you make a beer with a lot of maize 517 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,880 or an unmalted adjunct, for example, 518 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,080 brewing authentically to the German... 519 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:30,320 [Jeremy] If I'm honest, Rick's lecture soon became a bit fuzzy. 520 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:35,120 But even though I'd sampled many glasses of this delicious new lager, 521 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:38,480 I felt I should make a contribution. 522 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:41,320 I'll tell you what this is. It's a wellness beer. 523 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,400 It's a spa beer. 524 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:50,040 [Jeremy] Since the man they were filming was now talking drivel... 525 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:53,600 If you go to a spa, what they should say is "Would you like..." 526 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:57,080 [Jeremy] ...the crew decided to make better use of their time... 527 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,800 [indistinct chatter] 528 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,840 [Jeremy] ...and then I was driven home 529 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:04,040 by an extremely patient director. 530 00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:13,360 It's quite good fun, developing your own beer. 531 00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:14,600 [director] Yeah. 532 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,680 A little bit of... 533 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,160 He says he can tweak it, that's what brewers do, 534 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:20,920 and he did a degree in it. 535 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:22,400 [director] Yeah. 536 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,520 I'll tell you what I wanna do. Gerald, 537 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:30,040 Diddly Squat's beer expert, let's be honest... 538 00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:33,080 I've got a case in the boot, I'll give him a shout 539 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,880 and he can come up and he can tell me what he thinks. 540 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:41,240 [Jeremy] Back at the office, I assembled my judging panel. 541 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:43,280 Ten past six. 542 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,520 That is beer time. 543 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:47,400 -This is our spring barley. -Yeah. 544 00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:50,840 -There you go. -[Kaleb] It is nice and clear, isn't it? 545 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,400 It's a nice beer, that. 546 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:06,480 [Jeremy] Over the next couple of hours, we worked our way through the case, 547 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:10,320 and discussed many matters of great importance. 548 00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:13,440 -[Jeremy] I like a beer on a hot day. -[Gerald] Yeah. 549 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:15,120 -I do like a beer on a hot day. -[Gerald] Yeah. 550 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:16,880 Hard day's work, a beer after. 551 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:19,440 Yeah, a couple of these off your mouth... 552 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:22,280 [Gerald speaking indistinctly] 553 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,560 Sometimes whatever you have, these out there, 554 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:27,960 if it was about 90 degrees out there it'd go down a treat. 555 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,040 If I have a beer, I love the smell of beer. 556 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:32,920 I've been where you've been and he's been, 557 00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:37,480 it's because young barley... [Gerald speaking indistinctly] 558 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,520 Pickled onions or something. 559 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:42,400 Like the adverb, whatever it is, innit? 560 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:45,880 Wise words. 561 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:47,280 Wise words. 562 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:51,320 Yeah, I like a session beer 'cause I like a lot of pints. 563 00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:53,760 -A session? A session? -A session. 564 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,000 -[Kaleb] He's going for the sesh! -[Jeremy] A session beer? 565 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:57,440 [Kaleb] I haven't heard that for a while. 566 00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,800 [laughter] 567 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,600 [upbeat music] 568 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:07,120 [Jeremy] As the beer had had a unanimous thumbs up, 569 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,840 I moved onto restaurant project number two: 570 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,720 the potatoes. 571 00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,040 [music continues] 572 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:19,000 Despite the nightmares they'd caused me in the first year of farming, 573 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:21,000 I'd decided to grow them again. 574 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,320 [Lisa] Well done, guys. Lovely, beautiful work. 575 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:29,520 [Jeremy] Because I'd worked out how to make them profitable. 576 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:32,520 [Jeremy clears his throat] 577 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:36,240 Make them into crisps. Yeah? 578 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:37,800 They're good enough quality, aren't they? 579 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,800 [Jeremy] Do you know how many bags of crisps we'll get from this? 580 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,120 -A fair few. -16,000. 581 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:45,000 OK. 582 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,280 So if we deduct the picking costs, planting them, 583 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,480 it's still over £13,000 profit... 584 00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:54,040 -It's not 'cause we don't have a machine. -We'll get a machine. 585 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,120 OK, it's a good investment if we're gonna keep on doing it. 586 00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,160 Why would we not? We know potatoes. 587 00:27:58,320 --> 00:27:59,120 Look at that. 588 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:01,840 -Are these still Melody? -[Jeremy] Yeah. 589 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,000 [Lisa] Oh, I love Melody. 590 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:06,000 And we could fry them in our own vegetable oil. 591 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,000 Seasoned with our own chillies. 592 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,000 -Chilli, good. -Chillies. 593 00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,680 Badger. Badger-flavoured crisps. 594 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,000 [gagging] 595 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,680 [Jeremy] £13,000. 596 00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:22,440 [upbeat music] 597 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:26,840 [Jeremy] And so, a few weeks later, on a crisp December morning, 598 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,880 our crisp-making machine arrived. 599 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:32,520 [Jeremy] Morning. 600 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,360 -How are you? -All right, thank you. 601 00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:36,280 Good. You've brought a kitchen? 602 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:37,640 Yes. 603 00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:39,680 -We just need somewhere to put it now. -Right. 604 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:47,400 - It's all electric. - It's all electric. 605 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:49,280 OK, good. 606 00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,880 [man] Is there any chance of getting this car moved? 607 00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:56,080 That's Lisa's daughter's car. 608 00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,600 I'll go and have a look, see if I can find the keys. 609 00:28:58,760 --> 00:28:59,760 Yeah. 610 00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:10,960 [Jeremy] Right. 611 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:17,920 [thud] 612 00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:19,920 [Jeremy] Fucking hell, what's that? 613 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,720 What have I just driven over that I can't see? 614 00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:28,920 [man] Think you've just gone on a manhole. 615 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,560 -Is it a manhole there? -I think there's a manhole underneath. 616 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,320 [man] Yeah, it is a manhole. 617 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:35,480 Shit! 618 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:41,400 [crunching sounds] 619 00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,240 [Jeremy] Oh, fucking... 620 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:47,480 [Jeremy] Right, we're clear. 621 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,800 I thought you were supposed to be good at driving. 622 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,800 Used to be. Those are the olden days. 623 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,760 [upbeat music] 624 00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,800 [Jeremy] With the crisp kitchen plumbed in and wired up, 625 00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:06,280 we began. 626 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:08,760 So, here are our potatoes. 627 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:10,280 Rinse them or wash them? 628 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:12,720 [Jeremy] Just rinse them because they're going in here, 629 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:15,200 which peels them somehow. 630 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:16,920 [Lisa] That's a mandolin for chopping potatoes. 631 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,360 [Jeremy] Yeah, I bought it the other day. 632 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:21,160 -Look. -Yeah. 633 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,040 So you go down like this, but your fingers are there. 634 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:25,680 If you get them too low, look... 635 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,240 Can you imagine how easily you could take a finger? 636 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:31,000 [screaming] Fucking hell! 637 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:32,280 Why did you do that? 638 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:34,360 Jesus, you've literally taken the whole thing off. 639 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:35,400 Shit. 640 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:37,160 [Lisa] That's bad. 641 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:39,520 You've literally taken it down to the bone. 642 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,440 -Fuck! -Oh my God, it's left... Oh my God ! 643 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:43,520 It's left, look! 644 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,200 There it is, there's your skin. 645 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:48,840 [Jeremy] Oh shit, it is. That is actually my thumb, isn't it? 646 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:49,800 [Lisa] Yes. 647 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:51,720 -There's blood everywhere. -[Jeremy groans] 648 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:55,040 [Jeremy] Since no one would want to eat thumb-flavoured crisps, 649 00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:59,320 I was bandaged up and nagged out of the door by Lisa... 650 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,000 -Why did you do that, love? -I was just trying to chop it up. 651 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:05,800 And I was saying there's a trick to not take your finger off. 652 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,200 [lively music] 653 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,120 [Jeremy] ...who carried on by herself. 654 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:12,000 Fry, little ones, fry. 655 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:14,120 Here we go. 656 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:16,160 [music continues] 657 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:19,280 Oh, lovely! 658 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:22,200 Voilà! 659 00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:26,080 [Jeremy] Meanwhile I'd found a job that was much safer. 660 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,960 [chainsaw sputters] 661 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:32,840 [chainsaw starts] 662 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,760 Ow! Fuck! 663 00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:37,960 Christmas tree. 664 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:43,760 [phone chimes] 665 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:45,240 Hang on, sorry. 666 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,120 Oh, it's from the doctor. 667 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:50,880 Oh, I've got to go to hospital... 668 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:55,320 and see Professor something or other, the Manor Hospital, Beech Road, Oxford, 669 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:57,680 quarter to seven tonight. 670 00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,560 This is a plastic surgeon I've got to go and see because... 671 00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:04,760 If you're squeamish, don't look at this, OK? 672 00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:07,520 I'm gonna show you a picture of my thumb. 673 00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:11,080 It is... 674 00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:17,320 That's bone you can see in there. 675 00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:23,400 [Jeremy] That evening at the hospital with Lisa on filming duties, 676 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:27,520 a man with a steady hand put me back together. 677 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:33,040 So, he's stitched me up using the old bit of skin 678 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:35,520 which might or might not be a bit of potato. 679 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:42,000 So, what we've proved is cooking is more dangerous than farming. 680 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,760 [Lisa] Your cooking. 681 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:49,440 [soft music] 682 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:00,200 [Jeremy] A few days later, 683 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:04,480 my thumb was on the mend and while driving along at the edge of the farm, 684 00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:06,680 I finally found a reason 685 00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:10,480 to break out one of Georgia's badger bags. 686 00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:15,120 [Jeremy] Look at it. 687 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,360 Fresh, look, still squidgy. 688 00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:24,720 Look at those teeth, 689 00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:29,120 which he uses for ripping hedgehogs to pieces. 690 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:31,800 Its claws for pulling them apart. 691 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:33,280 I'm gonna bag it up. 692 00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:35,400 Gloves, 693 00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:36,800 first bag. 694 00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:41,560 Bloody hell! 695 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:44,040 Holy shit! 696 00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:47,600 You fat... How many hedgehogs have you eaten? 697 00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:50,480 [groans and gasps] 698 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:52,680 [groans] 699 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,240 Jesus Christ! 700 00:33:58,400 --> 00:33:59,720 Ghastly animal. 701 00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:01,320 [soft music] 702 00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:05,560 [Jeremy] At the tax payers' expense, 703 00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:09,520 the badger was taken away for TB testing. 704 00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,280 And to be honest, I was quite glad about the name 705 00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:14,680 of the courier company, 706 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:17,360 because the news from the local dairy farmer 707 00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:19,880 who supplies our shop with milk 708 00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:21,040 was not good. 709 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:24,560 [Jeremy] Hi, Emma. How are things? 710 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,200 Er... We've gone down with TB again, so... 711 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:28,160 Oh, you're joking? 712 00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,600 No. It's not good. It's a bit rubbish. 713 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,000 -Oh no. -[Emma] Yeah. 714 00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:36,640 What do you have to do? 715 00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:38,560 -When it goes down with TB? -Hm. 716 00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:40,760 They'll put a really ugly big green tag in it, 717 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:45,040 and then we have to isolate it until they can organise transport 718 00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:47,200 -and collect it. -So that's gotta be slaughtered? 719 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:48,960 Yup, so it's gonna be slaughtered. 720 00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:53,360 Heifer, would've been having her baby later on this summer, so... 721 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,640 So how many have you lost to TB now? 722 00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:58,200 [Emma] Er... About sixty. 723 00:34:58,680 --> 00:34:59,520 [Jeremy] Jesus! 724 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:00,600 So, half the herd, yeah. 725 00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:04,960 So, we should be milking a 120 and we're milking 60. 726 00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:09,320 So yeah, so not currently viable 727 00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:10,800 as a business, really. 728 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:17,440 [Jeremy] That is what life is like for so many cow farmers these days. 729 00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:19,560 Soul destroying. 730 00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:26,160 But at least the winter home for my small herd was finally ready. 731 00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:30,400 [soft music] 732 00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:33,200 [Jeremy] And what's more, we'd been given the perfect day 733 00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:36,080 for moving them into it. 734 00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:37,400 [thunder] 735 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:41,680 Oh! 736 00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,600 -[Kaleb] Holy shit! -Jesus Christ. 737 00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:46,600 [Kaleb] I can't get these. 738 00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:49,200 [Jeremy] I have not seen rain like this in quite a while. 739 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:50,760 Oh man. 740 00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:53,760 Oh, my arm. [Kaleb groans] 741 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:55,000 No, it goes this way. 742 00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:56,880 [wind blowing] 743 00:35:57,760 --> 00:35:58,600 Is that the wind? 744 00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,320 [Kaleb] I can't. My arm's stuck. 745 00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,640 [laughter] 746 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:05,160 [Jeremy] Christ. 747 00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:08,640 I hope the cows don't argue about being taken inside today. 748 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:10,600 -Ow! -[Kaleb laughs] 749 00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:13,000 [Jeremy] Yeah, it's definitely easing up. 750 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,400 [Kaleb] Don't we just love farming? 751 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,360 [Jeremy] Yeah, it's my favourite thing. 752 00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:19,480 [Kaleb laughs] 753 00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:21,000 [Jeremy] Fucking hell. 754 00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,440 They've actually got snow on them. 755 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:25,160 [Kaleb] Come on, then. 756 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,000 Come on, then. Come on. 757 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,000 Come on, moo cows. 758 00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:30,520 Hello, you. 759 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:32,640 Yeah, hello, come on. 760 00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:34,760 -[mooing] -Shit! 761 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,480 What's the matter with this cow? 762 00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:40,800 Did you see that? He tried to kick me. 763 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,080 [Kaleb] That one's the aggressive one. 764 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:45,160 No, no, no. Stop it. 765 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:47,040 Stop it. 766 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:50,400 -[mooing] -What the fuck? Stop it! 767 00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:52,960 I'm being attacked by a cow! 768 00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:55,280 Straight into the shed Jeremy, straight to the back of it. 769 00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:56,640 [Jeremy] Come on, cows. 770 00:36:56,840 --> 00:37:00,120 We've got a lovely new house for you, cows. 771 00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:04,480 [Jeremy] The only problem was they weren't that interested in it. 772 00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:07,440 -[Kaleb] Call 'em quickly, call 'em! -[Jeremy] Come on then, cows. 773 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,480 Come on, cows! 774 00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:12,560 Oh, for heaven's sake. 775 00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:16,800 [Kaleb] What the fuck is going on with these two? 776 00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:20,520 [Jeremy] Come on, cows. 777 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,160 -[Lisa] Good girls, come on. -[Jeremy] Come on! 778 00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:23,200 That's it, come on. 779 00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,600 Needs to be blocked off here, too. 780 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:27,200 -[Jeremy] Ay up, cows. -[Lisa] Ay up. 781 00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:28,840 [Jeremy] Ay up, cows. Ay up! 782 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:33,280 Oh my God. One of them's a mountaineer, it's Chris Bonington the cow. 783 00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:35,760 -[Kaleb] Jeremy, feed them on the floor. -[Charlie] I'll go round the back. 784 00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:40,920 -[Kaleb] Quickly, open the door. -[Charlie] Good girl! Come on. 785 00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:43,000 -[Kaleb] Jeremy, you hold them. -[Charlie] No! 786 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:44,600 [man] Shit! 787 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:48,400 [Kaleb] Come on, girl. Lisa, come out that way. 788 00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:50,200 [Lisa] Come on. 789 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:52,360 Oh God. 790 00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:55,320 [Kaleb] I hate this cow. 791 00:37:55,480 --> 00:38:00,080 [Jeremy] We decided to let mountaineering cow tire herself out. 792 00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:01,640 [upbeat music] 793 00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:05,360 And went to collect the youngsters from another field. 794 00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,880 My lips are very... I need some, like, Vaseline. 795 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,520 [Lisa] I've got some nipple balm that's really good for your lips. 796 00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:18,480 -Can I borrow some of your nipple balm? -[Lisa] Yes, you can. 797 00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:19,840 You've changed. 798 00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:22,120 [Jeremy] Jesus. Come on. 799 00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:27,200 [Kaleb] Famous for driving apparently, you know. 800 00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:29,400 [Kaleb] Oy! 801 00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:30,760 [Jeremy] Come on, cow. 802 00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:33,080 [music continues] 803 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:39,840 [Jeremy] With the light fading, 804 00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:43,400 the calves were introduced to their new home. 805 00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:45,320 [Lisa] Look at that. 806 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:47,960 [Jeremy] What a great sight that is. 807 00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:51,760 [Jeremy] However, there was one more job to do. 808 00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:54,160 Round up mountaineering cow. 809 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,400 [Jeremy] Come on, moo cow. 810 00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:58,360 Come on, cow. 811 00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:00,480 There's a good cow. Come on. 812 00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:02,320 Come on. 813 00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:05,440 And there you go. He's walking off again. 814 00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:09,800 But it can see, look at the-- It can see the hotel I've built for it, 815 00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,560 it can smell the bedding, but no. 816 00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,840 It just fucks off over there. 817 00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:18,880 -Wanker. Come on. -[dry food knocking together] 818 00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,960 No, I'm not giving in. Mister cow! 819 00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:23,480 [dry food knocking together] 820 00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:24,800 Come on. 821 00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:27,880 [soft music] 822 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,360 [Jeremy] The next morning, having not given in, 823 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:35,120 mountaineering cow was finally in the barn. 824 00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:40,040 And as the herd enjoyed their breakfast, 825 00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,160 I went through the post. 826 00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:46,880 We have the result back for badger 350, 827 00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:50,040 which we collected. This one has tested positive. 828 00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:56,000 Oh, this means we've isolated a bacteria in the same group 829 00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,920 as the one that causes bovine TB. 830 00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:03,000 [sighs] 831 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:09,520 Which means it's likely all the badgers on the farm have got TB. 832 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:12,840 Oh no. 833 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:15,160 [sighs] 834 00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:18,560 What you got? 835 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:20,320 This morning's post. 836 00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:26,600 Shit! 837 00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:29,840 [soft music] 838 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:40,000 [Jeremy] We now had to find out if the badger's TB 839 00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:43,360 had spread to my poor cows. 840 00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:45,920 And thankfully the timing was right 841 00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:49,760 as they were due for their six-monthly TB test. 842 00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:53,600 [Jeremy] Oh, stressy day today. 843 00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:57,200 Hi, Dilwyn. 844 00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:03,560 I'm gonna inject tuberculin which is inactivated TB basically, 845 00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:05,640 and I'm gonna inject it into the skin, 846 00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:10,120 and if they've been exposed to TB in the past, 847 00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:12,840 -they will react to that injection. -[Jeremy] Gotcha. 848 00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:16,760 [Dilwyn] Good girl. Good. 849 00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:18,680 -Oh, is that it? -That is it. 850 00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:22,880 She comes out, and we'll have a look at her in three days' time. 851 00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:24,520 [Kaleb] Good girl. Steady, good girl. 852 00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:28,400 [Jeremy] There you go. 853 00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:30,080 Pepper, come on, darling. 854 00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:32,040 Good girl. 855 00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:34,400 Yup, good. 856 00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:36,800 -Steady. Go. -[Jeremy] There you go. 857 00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:40,600 -The attack cow. -[Kaleb] No, no! 858 00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:43,160 You need to know we're in control, not you. 859 00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:46,080 I am good, ain't I? 860 00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:49,360 -[Jeremy] She is a violent one that one. -[Kaleb] We need a name for her. 861 00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:51,000 [Jeremy] Genghis Khan. 862 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:53,520 Is that the flip-flap person? 863 00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:54,800 -Who? -The flip-flop, sorry. 864 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:56,960 Genghis flip-flop? Gandhi's flip... 865 00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:02,160 I remember hearing about him at a young farmer's party. 866 00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:04,640 -Gandhi's flip-flop? -[Kaleb] Yeah. 867 00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:08,120 Gandhi and Genghis Khan are not the same thing. 868 00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:09,800 What's the difference then? 869 00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:13,760 Gandhi was a peace-loving Indian from the 20th century 870 00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:16,560 who achieved independence for India. 871 00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:19,920 -Yeah. -Genghis Khan murdered and raped 872 00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:22,280 millions of people. 873 00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:23,920 Seems like a twat. 874 00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:27,320 Yeah, you could probably say Genghis Khan was a twat, 875 00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:30,120 difficult to argue that Gandhi was a twat. 876 00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:36,760 [Jeremy] Eventually, Dilwyn had finished testing all 19 cows. 877 00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:38,120 [Jeremy] It's not fun this, is it. 878 00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:40,120 [Kaleb] I hate this. 879 00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:43,120 I just get nervous. I mean, I like these cows. 880 00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:45,760 [Jeremy] I like them. 881 00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:49,600 I've seen cows go down with TB and it's like, that's it, your end. 882 00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:51,040 I don't know about you, did you feel like-- 883 00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,760 I'm crapping myself 'cause I've got all weekend. 884 00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:55,200 We don't find out 'til Monday. 885 00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:58,040 [melancholic music] 886 00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:03,040 Meeting great big men when I come out, you know, 887 00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:05,000 blokes with axes and stuff. 888 00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:07,840 [Dilwyn] Right, moment of truth. 889 00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:10,080 The applicant's conduct is shameful. 890 00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:13,920 All those in favour of refusal, please show. 891 00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,040 [theme music playing] 892 00:43:19,305 --> 00:44:19,319 -== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==-