1 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:09,440 [theme music playing] 2 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:17,074 -== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==- 3 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:22,960 [soft music] 4 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:28,280 [Jeremy] Diddly Squat Farm was now wounded. 5 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:32,480 With no proper car park, the shop was a ship 6 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:35,000 holed below the waterline. 7 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:40,720 And the restaurant dream was dead. 8 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:45,000 [soft music continues] 9 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,400 But it wasn't all doom and gloom. 10 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,880 Because away from our difficulties with the local council, 11 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,520 Mother Nature was waking up. 12 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:01,520 [Jeremy] How's the angle? 13 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,320 That's good. Stop. 14 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:04,960 [Charlie] That's it. In you go. 15 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:06,400 [Kaleb] Go on. 16 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,000 [Jeremy] Spring had sprung. 17 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:11,200 And so, after five months in their winter barn, 18 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:15,560 we could finally put the cows back in their fields. 19 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:19,280 [mooing] 20 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,720 [Jeremy] Look at them! Excited cows! Free! 21 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:22,680 [Lisa] Hey! 22 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,720 -[Lisa] So happy! -[Jeremy laughs] 23 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:27,440 [Lisa] Aww! 24 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:30,640 [Jeremy] "I'm free and out." 25 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:32,720 [Lisa laughs] 26 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:33,960 [Lisa] It must be so nice. 27 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:36,760 [mooing] 28 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:40,360 They'd completely forgotten what it was like to be free cows. 29 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,400 [Lisa laughs] 30 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:50,200 [Lisa] Ooh! 31 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:53,520 You know I am the world's leading motoring journalist? 32 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:57,000 -I get nervous driving with you. -No need to go "Ooh!" 33 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,280 It's 'cause you look at me when you talk to me when you're driving. 34 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:01,800 'Cause I've got binocular rivalry. 35 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:05,240 I can see two things at once, like an Apache gunship whatever... 36 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,120 Like a goldfish. 37 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:11,040 [Jeremy] With the boisterous teenagers released in one field... 38 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:12,160 [Kaleb] Come on! 39 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:15,800 [Jeremy] We then had to release the mums and calves in another. 40 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,560 [Kaleb] Come on! 41 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:21,040 [Charlie] Steady. Steady. Steady. 42 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:24,320 -[Charlie] Go on. -[Jeremy] No. 43 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,960 [Jeremy] Wrong. Wrong. No, wrong. 44 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,160 Back down the hill. Back down. Come on. 45 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,000 [groans] 46 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,400 Come on, then. Steady. Good girls. Come on. 47 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:37,240 No. No. No, no, don't go along here. 48 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:39,600 Don't do this. Don't do this. 49 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:41,160 [Kaleb] Steady. 50 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:42,960 Steady. 51 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,120 Down you go. Down you go. 52 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:46,080 No, no, no. 53 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:48,240 Oh, for fuck's sake. 54 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,360 No, no, no, no, no, no. 55 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,440 [Jeremy] After maiming just about all of us... 56 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,160 Ow! Fuck you, cow. 57 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:57,960 [Kaleb grunts] 58 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,440 -[Kaleb shouts] -[Lisa] Down... 59 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:04,880 [Jeremy] The delinquent calf was finally corralled into the field. 60 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,760 -[Lisa] Well done, Charlie. -[Jeremy] Well done, Charlie Ireland. 61 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:12,960 [Kaleb] Look at that. 62 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:14,440 [Jeremy] What a sight. 63 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,480 Do you know what this calls for? 64 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:17,960 Cup of tea. 65 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:19,480 [soft music] 66 00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:21,440 [Jeremy] Then there was more good news. 67 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,680 Because, a couple of days later, 68 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:27,280 the bird police said avian flu was on the wane 69 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,120 and we could release the hens as well. 70 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:33,200 This is it, girls! You're coming out. 71 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,600 [Jeremy] Here we go. 72 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:38,360 It's opening! You are free! 73 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,080 Look at them. And the mob grazing is back. 74 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:42,040 Finally. 75 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:45,200 [Jeremy] Six months. Is that the longest-ever avian flu? 76 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:46,400 -[Steph] Yes. -[Paddy] The worst one. 77 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,400 -[Jeremy] Is it? The worst? -[Steph] Yeah. 78 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,040 -[Paddy] They've got to the point-- -Hey! 79 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:50,840 [cockerel crowing] 80 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,040 -[Steph] Where did he come from? -[Jeremy] Jesus! 81 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:58,400 That cockerel has had six months in a women's prison. 82 00:03:58,600 --> 00:03:59,480 [Steph laughs] 83 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,600 He liked the look of the ladies. 84 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,840 [soft music] 85 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:10,600 [Jeremy] But, while it was great to have the animals out and about, 86 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:15,280 we still had the worry of how on earth the farm could make money 87 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:19,880 when it was being subjected to so many council restrictions. 88 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:24,360 We're gonna have to live in a murky grey area 89 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:28,560 of loopholes and cunning wheezes is what we're gonna have to do. 90 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:30,120 [Lisa] Yeah. 91 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:33,040 It's going to be very murky and very grey, 92 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:34,160 where we're going to be living. 93 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,240 -But we have to stay... -[Lisa] Within the law. 94 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,920 We have to stay just on the right side. 95 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,040 [Jeremy] And we started this new policy 96 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,600 on the day we reopened the farm shop 97 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:50,320 after its winter hibernation. 98 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,920 [Lisa] Right, let's put all the bread up here. 99 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:56,560 [Jeremy] Most of the stock had been produced either at Diddly Squat 100 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:01,160 or within the council-imposed sixteen-mile radius. 101 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,560 All that's local, that's fine. 102 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,080 This is all local. 103 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:06,200 This is all local. This is all local. 104 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:12,160 [Jeremy] But the bags and hats and T-shirts were not really local at all. 105 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,240 [Lisa] Thank you. Hi. How are you? 106 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:17,360 [Jeremy] And so, on reopening day... 107 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,240 We don't sell T-shirts. We're giving them away for free. 108 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:21,200 Oh, right. 109 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,880 But if you'd like to buy a Brussels sprout for £20, 110 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:25,640 I can give you a free T-shirt. 111 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,600 There are complicated reasons. 112 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:28,880 -Yes, that's fine. -Great. 113 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:30,720 [lively music] 114 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,280 -[Lisa] So that's one Brussels sprout. -[woman] Yeah. 115 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:33,680 [ding] 116 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:35,160 [Lisa] Green apple. 117 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:36,440 -Lovely job. -[Lisa] Right. 118 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,200 [cash register] 119 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:40,200 [ding] 120 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:41,280 [Lisa] Lovely. Thank you. 121 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:44,360 Yeah, what type of potato would you like? I've got the potato with the flame. 122 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,120 [cash register] 123 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,000 [Lisa] There we go. 124 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:51,000 [woman] Thank you very much. 125 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,320 [ding] 126 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:53,880 [ding] 127 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,200 [Lisa] Lovely. Thank you very much. 128 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:56,240 [ding] 129 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,960 -[Lisa] Enjoy your potato. -Thank you. 130 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:00,440 [Lisa] Yeah, it's working well. 131 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:04,600 And I think people like the fact that they can still buy our stock-- 132 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:08,320 Well, not. They can still get it for free, even if we can't sell it. 133 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:11,120 [Jeremy] Meanwhile, outside, 134 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:16,480 Charlie had come up with a cheeky plan to solve our car-parking issues. 135 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:20,040 There is a little loophole open. 136 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,400 It's a 28-day planning notice, 137 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:26,920 which means we can use any parcel of land for 28 days 138 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:28,640 as a temporary car park. 139 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,640 So we can use the field behind us. 140 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,480 And then luckily, because Jeremy's got a number of fields, 141 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:37,600 we can use that field for 28 days, 142 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:40,200 and then we can use that field for 28 days, 143 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,680 to keep people safely parked so they can use the shop. 144 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:48,200 [Jeremy] Sadly, though, there was no cunning way 145 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:50,480 of reigniting the restaurant, 146 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:54,320 as I explained to Alan when he called by. 147 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,000 [Jeremy] The problem I've got is that I can't afford 148 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:58,800 to go to the Secretary of State. 149 00:06:59,000 --> 00:06:59,800 [Alan] Yeah. 150 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,840 [Jeremy] We've gotta go through another planning process 151 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,200 with old Sky at Night boy. 152 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,480 It's gonna be over a year-- eighteen months. 153 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,440 I mean, that's just gonna be another planning committee meeting, 154 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:09,960 and then another, and... 155 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,280 It's ridiculous, because over in the field, as you know, 156 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,320 we've got a barn that has been there a hundred years. 157 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,040 So after ten years, you can do what you want. 158 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,560 And at the moment, they say farmers can use a barn for a pop-up shop or... 159 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,400 And you could turn that into something straight away. 160 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:23,800 Hold on. Whoa. That barn over there? 161 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,120 Yeah! The barn in the middle of the field. 162 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,080 -We don't need planning permission? -[Alan] No. 163 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,440 [Jeremy] So you're saying we can make that... 164 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:32,400 [Alan] Yes, you can. 165 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:33,560 [Jeremy] Into a restaurant? 166 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,960 That is already on your land and it's there. 167 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,320 Just repair it. It's a beautiful old barn. 168 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:39,920 [Jeremy] What about power? 169 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,040 We've got three-phase over there. So we've got enough to take it. 170 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,760 We can take water from here as well. 171 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,000 -We don't need planning permission? -[Alan] No. 172 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,320 I'm 99.9% sure. 173 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:51,120 I'm actually becoming a human tripod. 174 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:52,800 [Alan laughing] 175 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:57,280 [Jeremy] Before I fainted with happiness, 176 00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:01,920 I called Charlie to ask him to check out what Alan had been saying. 177 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,680 -Hi, Charlie. Jeremy. -[Charlie] Hi. 178 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:06,120 [Jeremy] Alan's come up with an idea... 179 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,880 [Jeremy] And half an hour later... 180 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,680 [Charlie] We are allowed to do it. 181 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:15,520 Because it's a sound structure, that should be fine. 182 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:17,960 Because the walls are fine, the roof's fine. 183 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,320 [Jeremy] The roof's a bit not fine, but we can make the roof fine. 184 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,400 [Charlie] Well, yeah, we can repurpose it. 185 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:24,520 Why didn't anybody think of this earlier? 186 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:25,800 I don't know. 187 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,280 I don't know, but it's... I mean... [sighs] 188 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,160 What a result that would be. 189 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:35,760 [Jeremy] This was the best loophole of them all. 190 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,520 If a barn is smaller than a hundred and fifty square metres 191 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,960 and more than ten years old, 192 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:45,320 a farmer can do anything he likes with it. 193 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:49,400 It's not in particularly good order. But... 194 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,320 Look at this. 195 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:57,120 If we get this A-frame, whatever it's called, here repaired... 196 00:08:58,480 --> 00:08:59,760 And then... 197 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,880 put the tables and chairs all round here... 198 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:05,720 Look at that for a view, to have your Sunday lunch. 199 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:07,480 Look at it! 200 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:08,960 [chuckles] 201 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,000 [lively music] 202 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:15,000 [Jeremy] Because there would only be room in here for a tiny kitchen, 203 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:20,120 most of the food preparation would have to be done at the farm itself. 204 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,440 So I decided the two places 205 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:24,840 should be linked with something 206 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,760 I'd been planning for ages: 207 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,000 a new farm track. 208 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,120 [lively music continues] 209 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,120 [Alan] I think you betta set this up here, hadn't ya? 210 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,480 [Jeremy] While Alan set about repairing the barn... 211 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:44,640 I attached an old plough to Thunderbird IV 212 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:48,360 and started work on my link road, 213 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,240 which would have other benefits as well. 214 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,960 Put some wildflowers down the side. It'll be lovely. 215 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,640 And we can come along here, across the road, 216 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,080 enter the farm shop car park, 217 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:03,240 and then we can access all the other half of the farm 218 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,480 without going on the road network and getting in everyone's way. 219 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,200 It's clever, this. 220 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,520 Clever thinking from me. 221 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:18,160 Now, I've gotta go for an absolutely dead-straight line. 222 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,200 [lively music] 223 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,760 [Jeremy] That was harder than I thought it would be. 224 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,160 So I have to go to the right of the telegraph pole. 225 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,640 That's where the entrance is going to be. 226 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,840 Right. One, two... six. 227 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:33,960 There. 228 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,520 [lively music continues] 229 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,880 [Jeremy] The arrival of Kaleb. 230 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,800 -[Jeremy] What? -I suggest you stop. 231 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:56,800 Why? 232 00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:58,200 It's not very straight. 233 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:00,480 You said to me, "I want a dead-straight line, Kaleb, 234 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,360 "from that gateway to the new gate that would be over there in the field." 235 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:06,760 I agree. My first one was a disaster. 236 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,280 -So which one is it? -This one. 237 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,040 [Kaleb] It's fucking awful! 238 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:15,320 [Jeremy] That one, God knows what came over me. 239 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,440 I was aiming for the lavatories. 240 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,720 And then I realised halfway along that's wrong. 241 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,200 So I had to swerve a bit right. 242 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:23,520 [Kaleb] It's shit. 243 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,960 [Jeremy] No, but I know you like saying that to me. 244 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,920 [Kaleb] No, no, I don't like saying it to you. 245 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:29,880 I'd rather it just be done properly... 246 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:34,160 [Jeremy] Once the route had finally been marked out, 247 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:38,160 I needed some hardcore to make the track itself. 248 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,880 And that meant digging a small quarry. 249 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,080 [upbeat music] 250 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,560 This meant bringing back Lee, the cow barn builder, 251 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,000 and some of his lads... 252 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:57,000 and a lot of his machinery. 253 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:02,160 It's a production line. He digs the big stone up, 254 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,360 puts it into the crusher. 255 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:09,440 He picks that up and drops it here. 256 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,480 I pick it up from here and put it in your trailer 257 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:12,800 and you drive... 258 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,320 Where are you gonna dump the first load? 259 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,200 The first load is just there. 260 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,160 [reverse alarm] 261 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:20,480 ["Freight Train" by Alan Jackson playing] 262 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,160 [Jeremy laughs] 263 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:23,760 [Jeremy] Swinging. 264 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,680 ♪ Wish I was a freight train, baby ♪ 265 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,040 ♪ Wish I was a freight train, baby ♪ 266 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,200 ♪ Wish I was a freight train ♪ 267 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:33,640 What a banger. 268 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,000 [music continues] 269 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,560 [Jeremy] Ooh! 270 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,640 [Jeremy] Look at what we're doing here, quarrying! 271 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:45,040 If you've got even a small garden, for heaven's sake, 272 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:49,080 dig it up and make a quarry, because it's the most fun. 273 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,800 [music continues] 274 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,280 [makes electric guitar noise] 275 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,200 No, I think this might be the piano, actually. 276 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,520 [humming] No, is it? I dunno. 277 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,320 [Jeremy] Look at my judgement there. 278 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,760 ♪ Wish I was a freight train, baby ♪ 279 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,760 ♪ Wish I was a diesel locomotive ♪ 280 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,400 ♪ I'd come whistling down your track ♪ 281 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,160 ♪ Crashing in your door ♪ 282 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:13,760 [Jeremy] Soon, it was time to start making the track. 283 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,240 ♪ Wish I was a freight train, baby Wish I was a freight train ♪ 284 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:20,640 I'm shit. [laughs] 285 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,800 [Jeremy through speaker] I have made a hole in the plastic sheeting. 286 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,880 Kaleb, I'm shit at this. 287 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:29,280 This and sheep shearing I can't do. 288 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:30,840 [Kaleb] And drilling. Cultivating. 289 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,600 Hedge cutting, you can't do that. 290 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:35,960 I mean, the list goes on of things you can't do. 291 00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:39,160 [Jeremy] Having fired myself from this job, 292 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,120 I then re-hired myself as the roller driver, 293 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:46,600 which, for me, was a vehicular first. 294 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:53,480 Now, I think I push that green one to make it vibrate. 295 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:54,680 Ready? 296 00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:57,560 [engine revving] 297 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:00,960 [laughs] Holy shit! 298 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,720 Oh, I'm enjoying that! 299 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,760 Yes! 300 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:15,240 What a pleasant way of spending the day. 301 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:18,480 Having your bottom vibrated 302 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,720 while sitting cross-legged in a comfortable chair 303 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:24,160 and doing a manly job of work. 304 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:29,560 [Jeremy] Sadly, though, I soon had to leave Lee to it, 305 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:33,720 as there were other jobs on the farm that needed my attention. 306 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:36,880 One of which was to meet Pip. 307 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:37,880 [Jeremy] How are you? 308 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:42,440 [Jeremy] A highly recommended chef who could potentially run the restaurant. 309 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,160 [Jeremy] So, we've already got our own honey, 310 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:47,840 our own eggs. 311 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,080 This is... you've got flour here for pasta. 312 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:53,640 My son is now making our own chilli sauces 313 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,160 out of chillis that we're growing. 314 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:57,840 We've got lamb. And now we've got beef. 315 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:01,680 I think what you have here is the beginning of a great restaurant. 316 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:03,680 I think you can use all the produce, 317 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,920 from nose to tail of all the animals as well. 318 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:07,880 What sort of cooking have you done in the past? 319 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:09,280 I have done Italian in the past. 320 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,840 Er, French. And British. 321 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,520 And then obviously my restaurant at the moment, 322 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,080 we mix quite a lot of European styles 323 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,640 and then a little bit of Japanese influence. 324 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,880 See, the thing is, 325 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:25,760 I see who comes to the farm shop, I see who has come. 326 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:28,680 And... they're Subaru drivers. 327 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,720 -My uncle had a Subaru. -[Jeremy] Yeah. 328 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:36,040 That's who I'm aiming the restaurant at, 329 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:38,680 people who don't want three chips cooked three times 330 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,080 and they don't want fancy. 331 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,320 So Asian fusion, these are not words 332 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,400 -that they'll particularly enjoy. -No. 333 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,240 "Fuck off" will be the sort of standard response 334 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:53,400 to any attempt to mess around with a steak and kidney pie or a-- 335 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:54,360 Yeah. 336 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,400 [Jeremy] I then gave Pip a tour, 337 00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:00,760 starting with the headline act of the menu. 338 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,240 [Jeremy] These are the two that have been scheduled for execution. 339 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:04,200 [Pip] Okay. 340 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:07,240 -[Jeremy] That's what we'll be cooking. -[Pip] They're huge. 341 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:10,160 [Jeremy] And this is where we put the prep kitchen. 342 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,920 [Pip] Wow! 343 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:13,120 Good prep kitchen? 344 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,840 [Pip] It's huge. It's bigger than my kitchen. 345 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:17,360 -You have a butcher? -[Jeremy] Yeah. 346 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,200 -It goes through a guy called Henry. -Yeah. 347 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,400 Who looks like Andy Garcia in The Untouchables. 348 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:26,120 So anyway, Andy Garcia does our butchery. 349 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,080 -[Jeremy] See the chillis? -Yeah, yeah. 350 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:31,160 So you get thousands and thousands and thousands of chilli plants, 351 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:32,480 -which is... -Yeah. 352 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:34,360 [Pip] Hot sauce. 353 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,880 [Jeremy] Having been impressed so far, 354 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:41,280 Pip was clearly expecting great things from the restaurant itself. 355 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:44,640 [Pip] Oh my God! 356 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,680 -[Jeremy] It's quite rudimentary. -Yeah. 357 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:50,000 [Pip] Er... 358 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:51,600 Right. 359 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:53,440 Fuck. 360 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,520 -This is kitchen. -[Pip laughs] 361 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,400 That is small. Finishing kitchen. 362 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,520 -Where's the rest? -What? 363 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:02,640 Are you building out? 364 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,960 No, can't. The council won't let us. 365 00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:08,320 Because of the rules, which I didn't write, 366 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:13,080 you're allowed to have as much space outside the building 367 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,480 as there is inside it. 368 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,560 -Not with a building, but with umbrellas. -Yeah. 369 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:22,320 So you probably come to here, right the way down to the far end of that wall. 370 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:23,320 Yeah. 371 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,560 And this is all tables and chairs as well. 372 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,280 Yeah. You could get probably forty-five covers, I think. 373 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:30,400 And I just had a thought. 374 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,720 Could you not extend the kitchen a bit 375 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:33,960 and have a barbecue outside? 376 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:35,960 No. Council won't let us. 377 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:42,480 [Jeremy] Having absorbed the fact she'd be cooking in a shoebox, 378 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:46,680 Pip then asked me what exactly I'd like to see on the menu, 379 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:50,520 hoping that I'd give her a precise brief. 380 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,920 Have you seen that film Babe, with the pig? 381 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:55,320 Yeah. 382 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:58,640 You know when he goes home at night and his wife's there? 383 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:03,680 What they have for supper is sort of what I want to serve in the restaurant. 384 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,800 I don't know what they have for supper, but in my imagination, 385 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,040 what they eat is what I want to serve. 386 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:13,800 [Pip] Right. 387 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:18,560 [Jeremy] With that valuable information tucked away, 388 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,320 Pip went off to start work. 389 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:26,920 And I went back to the tricky business of making cows pregnant. 390 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:31,160 The last round of IVF had worked for Deeny. 391 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,320 But not for Pepper, 392 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,800 who'd needed another injection. 393 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,800 [Jeremy] Here we are, Dilwyn in his usual pose. 394 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,480 -[Dilwyn] Hello. Can I shake your hands? -[Lisa laughs] 395 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:47,440 [Jeremy] And today we'd find out if finally she was up the duff. 396 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,680 Right, bad news. 397 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,880 -[Jeremy] You're joking? -Yeah, not in calf. 398 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,280 So everything's there. 399 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,320 So I've checked her over, everything's cycling. 400 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,720 But I don't see a reason why she can't get in calf. 401 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:09,920 [Jeremy] Poor old Pepper. What's the matter with you, sweetheart? 402 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:11,040 [Dilwyn] That's a shame. 403 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,520 You gotta decide where you want to go from here, really. 404 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,520 -We don't-- -[Jeremy] Can I just-- 405 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,760 Let me ask the vet. 406 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,560 In your experience, what would a farmer do in this situation? 407 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:22,760 Chuck the bull in. 408 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,200 -[Jeremy] Chuck the bull in? -Yeah. 409 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,480 Would a farmer rent a bull? 410 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,080 [Dilwyn] You can rent a bull. 411 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,920 [Jeremy] And how long would the bull have to be here? 412 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:31,440 [Dilwyn] Two months. 413 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:35,160 So the bull lives here, right alongside the footpath. 414 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,000 [Jeremy] Don't you have to change the fences if you... 415 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,480 -[Kaleb] You've gotta put some signs up. -[Dilwyn] Yeah. 416 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,160 I mean, there is risk to it, you know. 417 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:44,080 If it gets out, you know. Everyone panics when a bull's out, yeah? 418 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:46,520 But the majority of the time, the bull's not there to kill someone. 419 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,200 I mean, yeah, it can kill someone, admittedly. 420 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,440 [Jeremy] Right. So we can put a bull in here. 421 00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,080 And that electric fence there that we have at the bottom-- 422 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:56,680 [Kaleb] I'm fencing that one across there. 423 00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,440 Yeah, because we don't want the bull in the kitchen every morning. 424 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,520 -Not so much. -That really would be a surprise! 425 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:04,000 Unless he's terribly handsome. 426 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,320 [Jeremy] Finding a boyfriend for Pepper would take a few days. 427 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:13,040 So, in the meantime, I got on with another important job, 428 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:16,080 planting a crop called echium. 429 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,040 Fifteen mil on the barrel. 430 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,920 OK, gotta go, I'm on twenty mil at the minute. I'm on two centimetres. 431 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:27,200 [Jeremy] This meant Kaleb had to make some fiddly adjustments to the drill. 432 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:28,240 [Kaleb] Okey dokey. 433 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,560 [Jeremy] But I assured him it would all be worthwhile. 434 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,880 Barley and wheat right now, £300 a ton? Give or take? 435 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,320 Yeah, yeah. 436 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,960 Oilseed rape, £700 a ton? -[Kaleb] Yeah. 437 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,320 -Really high. -[Kaleb] Yeah. 438 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:42,400 Do you wanna know how much you get for this? 439 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,560 -[Kaleb] Go on. -£4,200 a ton. 440 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:47,680 -Really? -Mmm. 441 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,240 Let's grow echium. Right, I think I've set that. 442 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,080 -Do you know what it is? -No. 443 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:57,160 Vegans won't eat cod liver oil or fish oil. 444 00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:58,400 -Mmh. -Obviously. 445 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:00,560 But they can eat this, which is exactly the same. 446 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,880 It's omega-3, omega-6, omega-9. 447 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:07,280 So it's a very, very, very, very good oil. 448 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,520 -Yeah. -Very healthy. Vegans love it. 449 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,800 So we are profiteering from veganism, which I like. 450 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:19,000 And then, the bees absolutely love echium. 451 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,720 [Jeremy] Once Kaleb had finished adjusting the settings, 452 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:25,800 we filled the hopper with vegan gold dust... 453 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,520 told the computer what it was planting... 454 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,320 [Kaleb] Four, eight, two, okay. 455 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:36,000 Imagine if NASA used a computer like this. 456 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:37,240 [Kaleb] Who's "Nassi"? 457 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,560 [Jeremy] And set off. 458 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,520 [upbeat music] 459 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,080 [Jeremy] Well, look at this. With my snazzy new weight box, 460 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:45,960 no wheelying. 461 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:51,000 This rig is now about fifteen tons. 462 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:52,280 [laughs] 463 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,760 [Jeremy] The good thing about growing echium is that it rarely needs 464 00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:01,360 to be sprayed with chemicals or fertiliser. 465 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,600 So there's no need for fiddly tramlines. 466 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:11,560 The bad thing is that I'd forgotten how everything worked. 467 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,640 I've gotta set the fan speed. 468 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:18,040 Er... 469 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,400 Set. 470 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,520 Oh no, it's... Oh no. Oh shit. I think I've just... 471 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:25,800 Kaleb, can you hear me? 472 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,080 I can't remember how to set this computer up. 473 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:33,640 [Jeremy] The farming foetus patiently explained the tech. 474 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:35,920 [Kaleb] It's the little tractor at the top, remember? 475 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:38,280 [Jeremy] No. I've never used this drill. 476 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:42,520 You have. You drilled some wheat, and then fucked up on that. 477 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,320 -[Charlie] Didn't you drill Deadman's? -Yes. 478 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,800 -Have you seen the cock-up in there? -[Charlie] Well, I have walked it. 479 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,600 You stick with writing. Let me do this. 480 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:51,000 No, 'cause there's no tramlines. 481 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,120 You don't need tramlines for this, which is why I'm doing it. 482 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:55,760 [Charlie] It's very low-input, yeah. 483 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:59,240 [Jeremy] Kaleb continued with my refresher course. 484 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:00,200 [Kaleb] Push that up. 485 00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:02,040 -And then see where it says Markers? -Yeah. 486 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:03,120 Pull that down. 487 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:04,480 -I want the marker out this way? -Yes. 488 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,360 [Jeremy] Out you go. 489 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:08,880 Oh shit! 490 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:10,240 [Kaleb] No, just stop. Bring that back in. 491 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:12,080 [laughs] 492 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,760 [Jeremy] Hold on. No. Wait, wait, wait. 493 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:24,800 [Jeremy] Right. 494 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:28,080 -Shit! -[Kaleb] Fucking 'ell. 495 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:30,840 [Kaleb] Whose idea was it to grow echium? 496 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,960 [Jeremy] Finally, I was ready. 497 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,280 Here we go. 498 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:40,400 [Kaleb] Whoa. Stop! 499 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:44,640 Fan speed, thirty-nine thousand RPM. 500 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:45,680 Excellent. 501 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:50,160 -[Kaleb] Whoa! Stop! -[Charlie] Jeremy, stop. Jeremy, stop. 502 00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:51,880 [Charlie] You're basically a bulldozer. 503 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,560 You've just got a foot of soil along the whole of the front. 504 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,200 Because the trash isn't flowing through the drill. 505 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,400 What? Sorry. What's trash? 506 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,920 The only thing I could do is pick the drill right up on the culters. 507 00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:05,120 Well, it's not leaving it level enough. 508 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:07,560 -Because you know we've gotta swath it. -[Kaleb] Yeah. 509 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,200 I don't understand a word of that. 510 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:11,960 [Kaleb] Can I just... Level this machine up. 511 00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:14,200 Push it out on the top link a little bit. 512 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,000 I hate it when he goes 513 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,760 between whatever implement's on the back and the tractor. 514 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:23,160 Any minute now there'll be a squelching sound. 515 00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:25,280 And then a siren. 516 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:26,320 And then a gavel. 517 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,600 And then... 518 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,680 the sound of me squealing in a jail cell. 519 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:34,880 [lively music] 520 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:39,040 [Jeremy] Once Kaleb had done whatever it was he did, 521 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,200 I got going again. 522 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,760 Right. Ten KPH. 523 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,640 [Jeremy] And basically, I had one job. 524 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:52,040 I was making a groove in the field with my marker 525 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:54,640 so that on the return leg, 526 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:58,240 if I kept that groove in the middle of my bonnet, 527 00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,160 I'd know I was exactly three metres 528 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:05,320 from the bit of the field I'd already planted. 529 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,280 [Jeremy] Don't take your eyes off it, Jeremy. 530 00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:10,640 Keep your eyes on it. 531 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:12,000 Keep your eyes on it. 532 00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:18,440 [Jeremy] However, after I turned round, 533 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:22,080 I realised that because of the way this field had been cultivated, 534 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:26,720 the groove from where I was sitting was invisible. 535 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:28,120 [Jeremy] Fucking hell. 536 00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:31,240 Absolutely no idea here. 537 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:33,640 Simply not visible. 538 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:37,960 Trying to see effectively where a very small metal beetle 539 00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:40,240 has been wandering along the field. 540 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,200 It's not doing anything. 541 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:48,760 I'm going over most of the field twice and some of the field not at all. 542 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:51,880 Oh fucking hell! 543 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,840 I'm gonna be in so much trouble when this grows. 544 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:59,000 This seed is too expensive to keep cocking it up. 545 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:00,960 [Jeremy through speaker] I dunno what I'm doing here, Kaleb. 546 00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:03,840 I can't bloody see this marker. 547 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,480 I just can't see it. 548 00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:09,160 [Jeremy] I braced myself for the customary bollocking. 549 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:12,200 But amazingly, it didn't arrive. 550 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:15,040 [Kaleb] That's hard. I'll give you that. 551 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:16,600 I'm not gonna moan at you if you miss any. 552 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,960 [Jeremy] Kaleb then decided to use his roller 553 00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:24,640 to make a wavy line in the field... 554 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:26,360 [upbeat music] 555 00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:33,440 So that when my metal beetle went over a newly flattened bit of soil, 556 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:37,080 I'd be able to see the mark it made. 557 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:41,280 So you think I'm gonna be able to see the lines, 558 00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:43,840 now that you've done that zig-zag thing? 559 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,280 [Kaleb] Yeah. 560 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:48,160 You see the difference now? 561 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,320 [Jeremy] Yes. I can see where you have been. 562 00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:53,720 [upbeat music continues] 563 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:02,640 He's right, this is... transformatory. 564 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:06,880 I can do this now. 565 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,920 [Jeremy] A bit of Diddly Squat teamwork 566 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,880 had saved my vegan bacon. 567 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,760 [Kaleb] Where you are now, you're bang on, absolutely bang on. 568 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:18,720 Yeah. 569 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,880 There you are, you little beauty. 570 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:34,880 [Jeremy] With the echium planted, 571 00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:39,560 we received news that our new rent-a-bull was on its way, 572 00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:43,080 which meant I had to do some preparatory work 573 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,560 with my head of security. 574 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:50,040 [Jeremy] Right, the bull's coming at three. So about an hour? 575 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:51,000 [Gerald] Yeah. 576 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:53,320 [Jeremy] So I've gotta get these signs up telling ramblers... 577 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:55,200 'Cause, you know, this is a public footpath. 578 00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:56,160 [Gerald] Yeah. 579 00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,800 [Jeremy] That there's a bull in the field. But, here's what's interesting. 580 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,320 You can't put on the sign "Danger, Bull" 581 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:06,360 because then I'm admitting I know it's dangerous 582 00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:08,200 and then that makes me liable. 583 00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:10,520 But you can't say it's safe either because... 584 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:11,720 [Gerald] Yeah. 585 00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:13,520 Have you ever been attacked by a bull? 586 00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,960 I know an old farmer... You know, this is a story, right? 587 00:28:17,120 --> 00:28:20,000 When they were doing the winter littering down... 588 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,880 [Gerald speaking indistinctly] 589 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:25,600 They must weigh half a ton, those brown bales, don't they? 590 00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:27,880 And if you come down to an Hereford... 591 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:32,880 [Gerald speaking indistinctly] 592 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:34,320 But you never can tell. 593 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:39,000 [Gerald speaking indistinctly] 594 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,120 That was with the bale in the thing and all. 595 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,640 [Jeremy] Right. Now, I've got some signs. 596 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,440 [Gerald] That's why I was never a big lover of having a bull. 597 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,400 [Jeremy] So, I've had these done. 598 00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:53,600 [Gerald laughs] 599 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,960 You know those people in the village that moan all the time... 600 00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:56,960 [Jeremy groans] 601 00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:58,600 ...in the pub on a Sunday with their red trousers on? 602 00:28:58,760 --> 00:28:59,560 [Gerald] Yeah. 603 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:02,640 [Gerald] Yeah! Yeah! 604 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:04,120 [laughs] 605 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:07,040 [both laugh] 606 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:09,480 [Jeremy] Right. 607 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:11,480 Yeah, that's the one. 608 00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:15,040 [Jeremy] Once the signs were up, 609 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:18,040 I showed Gerald how I'd used farm equipment 610 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,840 as a bull-containment measure. 611 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:23,680 [Jeremy] So we've got an electric fence there. 612 00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:25,560 If that doesn't work, 613 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,640 -I put this here... -Yeah. 614 00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:29,480 -As a barrier. -Yeah. 615 00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,200 To stop him getting on the footpath. 616 00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:35,600 So, if you has him here, you would ask me to go out there with you, you know... 617 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:38,040 [Gerald speaking indistinctly] 618 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:39,880 Simple as that. 619 00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:46,040 [Jeremy] Not knowing whether I'd done a good thing or not, 620 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:50,160 we then waited for the arrival of the bull, 621 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:54,440 which we'd rented from the family who'd supplied the cows. 622 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:56,800 -[woman] Hello. -[Charlie] Hello. 623 00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:58,080 [Jeremy] Good to see you. 624 00:29:58,280 --> 00:29:59,960 -Is he here? -[Jeremy] The gigolo has arrived. 625 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:10,040 Ooh my God. His face is there, with like a ring. 626 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,240 [man] Here he comes. Come on, boy. 627 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:19,280 [Jeremy] Look at the size of that head! He's enormous! Look at him! 628 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,480 -[man] Come on, boy. -[woman] Good boy. 629 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:23,080 [Lisa] Wow. 630 00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,000 [Jeremy] Look at his testes! 631 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:27,280 -[man] Go on. -[Jeremy] Aye. 632 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:29,760 [Jeremy] Lisa? Would you like to know what he's called? 633 00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:31,000 [Lisa] Yeah. 634 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:32,200 [Jeremy] The name's Maestro. 635 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:34,680 Breakheart Maestro. 636 00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:36,040 That's his name! 637 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:37,040 -[Jeremy] Breakheart Mae... -[Lisa] Look at them run! 638 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:40,280 [Jeremy] Look at the lady cows, coming for some action. 639 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:42,320 -[woman] They're running up, literally. -[man] They are. 640 00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:43,320 [Lisa] They're about to hump him, I think. 641 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,880 [Jeremy] This is like a nightclub. "Pick me! Pick me!" 642 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:48,200 [Lisa gasps] 643 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:49,680 -He's on! -Yes! 644 00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,360 -[Jeremy] He's on! Straight away... -[woman] No, that's a cow. No, "she". 645 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,480 -[Jeremy] What, the cow's shagging him? -[man] Yeah. 646 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:57,800 What the hell? You brought a gay cow! 647 00:30:57,960 --> 00:30:59,400 Why did that happen? 648 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:00,840 -[woman] Don't panic. -[Charlie] No, no. 649 00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:01,840 [Jeremy] But that's not gonna work... 650 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:03,960 They're just sussing out. They're sussing each other out. 651 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,320 [woman] So all these calves are his. 652 00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:08,960 -[Jeremy] Are they? -[woman] Yeah. So all the calves-- 653 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:10,560 He's had all these women before? 654 00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:12,640 [woman] Yeah, they're his calves. 655 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:14,880 [Jeremy] Look, the one we're really bothered about is Pepper, 656 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,880 right at the back, the one we really need for him to go and-- 657 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:19,120 Oh, look, he's heading that way. 658 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:21,240 He's heading for Pepper. 659 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,400 [Kaleb] I think Pepper's weight is an issue now. 660 00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,120 [Jeremy] What, he's not gonna fancy her 'cause she's too fat? 661 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:26,080 [Kaleb] No, not that. 662 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:27,240 [laughter] 663 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:28,240 Well, what then? 664 00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:29,400 Just reasons of getting into calf 665 00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:31,840 that cause complications when they're too fat. 666 00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:34,160 -[Jeremy] Really? -[Kaleb] Yeah. 667 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:37,800 [Jeremy] Are they just going to get out the wind? 668 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,280 [Lisa] Oh, they're showing him where the water is. 669 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:41,760 [Kaleb] They're just showing him the weak fences! 670 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:42,760 [Charlie] "Lean there." 671 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:48,760 [Jeremy] This was a perfect, happy moment. 672 00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:51,640 But once everyone had gone, I was left 673 00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,960 to reflect on what was actually at stake. 674 00:31:55,920 --> 00:32:00,440 We've tried three times now to get Pepper pregnant with AI, 675 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:03,640 artificial insemination, and it hasn't worked. 676 00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:06,520 So this is her last chance. 677 00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:08,720 If he can't make her pregnant... 678 00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,040 [sighs] 679 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:19,280 You fill in the blanks. 680 00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:23,760 [Jeremy] A couple of days later, I got a taste 681 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,840 of what filling in the blanks would feel like... 682 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,440 because it was time to take the first of the restaurant cows 683 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:33,400 to slaughter. 684 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:38,400 [Lisa] Aw. 685 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:40,520 [Jeremy] Do you know which one it is? 686 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:42,440 -The one at the back? -Yeah. 687 00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:45,760 [Kaleb] 297. 688 00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:48,320 [mooing] 689 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:50,320 No, he knows. 690 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,960 [Kaleb] It's always sad when you have two animals go in. 691 00:32:58,120 --> 00:32:59,920 Like, you know, when you have thirty... 692 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:01,960 [Jeremy] That's what you said this morning. 693 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:03,800 It's exactly what Lisa said. 694 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,760 When you're taking all the sheep off it's like, well, you know... 695 00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:09,440 I never feel sad when I'm taking the sheep off. 696 00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:11,560 [laughter] 697 00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:12,560 -Fucking sheep. 698 00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:13,560 [Jeremy] But even you don't like doing this. 699 00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:15,840 I don't like doing this bit, no. 700 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:20,840 Shall we do this? 701 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:24,480 [clanging] 702 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:29,280 -Go on, then. -[Jeremy] Go on. Off you go. 703 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,880 [Kaleb clucking] 704 00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:42,600 I don't like leaving that other one behind 705 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:44,560 'cause he's gonna be ever so lonely. 706 00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:52,520 I remember going here with the sheep. It was just devastating. 707 00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:56,120 I can't imagine it's going to be much better today. 708 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,960 [sheep bleating] 709 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,600 [Jeremy] Go on, then. Go on. 710 00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:17,360 Come on, cow. 711 00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,360 There you go. 712 00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:25,640 [sheep bleating] 713 00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:35,400 -[man] Private kill, yeah? -Yeah. 714 00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:36,760 -Private what? -[man] Private kill, yeah. 715 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:38,480 -Private slaughter. -Yeah. 716 00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:41,600 Sign and put the date on the bottom there, please. 717 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,120 [Jeremy] There you go. 718 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,520 -Presumably he's dead already, is he? -No, he's in there still. 719 00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:49,160 Oh is he? The last time, when we brought the sheep, 720 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,080 they were dead by the time we'd done the paperwork. 721 00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:53,680 -You can go and see him. -No, I'm-- I might do. We'll see. 722 00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:54,880 Yeah. 723 00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:58,640 Let's go and see him. 724 00:34:58,800 --> 00:34:59,760 -Cheers. -Morning. 725 00:34:59,920 --> 00:35:01,520 Morning. Morning. 726 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:08,600 [Jeremy] At the dignitas pen, I met the abattoir boss. 727 00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:10,000 -Good morning. -[Jeremy] How are you? 728 00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:10,960 I'm well, thanks. 729 00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:14,160 [Jeremy] Who, when I'd been upset about the sheep on my last visit, 730 00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,640 had found just the right words to make me feel worse. 731 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,040 [abattoir boss] It's a shame 'cause they're nice sheep, aren't they? 732 00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:27,160 [Jeremy] This time round, I was hoping he'd be a bit more understanding. 733 00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:31,800 He looks a nice wedge of meat, to be honest, 734 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:33,120 you know. 735 00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:38,640 [Jeremy] See you, cow. 736 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:41,480 See you on the flip side. 737 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:57,480 I just have to remember he's done his bit for the soil 738 00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:00,280 and he's going to feed a thousand people. 739 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,160 That's why I had him. 740 00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:10,000 [Jeremy] And I'd have to be thinking the same thing the following week, 741 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:12,880 when Cow 2 was scheduled to go. 742 00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:19,680 Because the wheels of the restaurant were now well and truly turning. 743 00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:25,360 Alan and his chaps were busy with the building work. 744 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:28,520 And despite my nonsensical 745 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:31,760 Babe and Subaru brief to Pip, 746 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:35,640 she'd come up with some offerings she hoped would hit the spot. 747 00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,440 This is ox tongue, which I know, you know, 748 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,360 there's only two tongue and it's not that big, so it can't feed that many people. 749 00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:43,560 -Can I have a piece of tongue? -Yeah. 750 00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:44,640 Go for it. 751 00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:48,480 Mmm. Mmmm. 752 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:49,920 [Jeremy] What have we got here, then? 753 00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:51,480 [Pip] Just a little egg 754 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:52,920 and pickles. 755 00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:54,480 [Jeremy] Mmmm. 756 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:56,880 Mmm, I did it. 757 00:36:57,400 --> 00:36:58,160 Damn! 758 00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:01,040 Whenever anybody tastes anything on television, 759 00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:03,560 they always go, "Mmm," even if it's disgusting. 760 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:04,640 Yeah! 761 00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:05,880 [Jeremy] And I just did it. 762 00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:07,440 All right. I hope it's not disgusting! 763 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:10,040 [Jeremy] No, that's really delicious. I'm gonna try some of this lamb chilli- 764 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:11,000 -[Pip] Lamb breast. -Ooh. 765 00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:12,400 -[Pip] Our chilli. -Mm-hmm. 766 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,000 [Pip] Chilli. A bit of vinegar. Garlic. 767 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:18,280 Mint. Coriander. Olive oil. A tiny bit of sugar. 768 00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:19,640 That's just amazing. 769 00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:21,160 -So this is our flour? -Yeah. 770 00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:22,160 -[Pip] Your beer. 771 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,480 -That actually is beer bread? -Yeah. 772 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:28,040 I've never had beer bread before. 773 00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:29,160 -[Pip] Yeah, it's good. 774 00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:31,280 Cor, jeez, Pip, that is so good. 775 00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,160 -[Jeremy] And this is whipped pork...? -Fat. 776 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:34,600 -[Jeremy] Fat? -Yeah. I just thought... 777 00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,440 It's in all the slimming magazines. 778 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:37,520 [laughs] 779 00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,360 [Jeremy] Right, well, they're all just amazing. 780 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,880 [Jeremy] More importantly, it was clear that Pip 781 00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:44,960 could work wonders with a cow. 782 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:45,920 [Jeremy] Mmm. 783 00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:47,800 -Oh, beef tartare. -[Pip] Yeah. 784 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:50,480 OK, that's just wonderful. 785 00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,400 It's a beef broth and I've put a bit of bone marrow in there as well. 786 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:55,160 Bone marrow is my favourite. 787 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,040 -This is a ribeye, yeah? -Yeah. 788 00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:00,560 Is that just salt on it? 789 00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:02,560 [Pip] Yeah. A bit of rosemary and butter. 790 00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:03,520 [Jeremy] Mm-hmm. 791 00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:05,520 -Our potatoes. -[Pip] Yeah. 792 00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:08,200 They're really good for roasting. Really nice. 793 00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:09,920 And it all comes on a plate like this and you just tell 'em-- 794 00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:11,080 Yeah, and then everybody serves. 795 00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:13,160 -You just get a piece of meat like that? -[Pip] Yeah. 796 00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:15,120 [Jeremy] Pip, I think that's spectacularly good. 797 00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,040 I'm really excited now by this. 798 00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:18,840 We're actually going to do it. 799 00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:21,920 ["Goody Goody Getter" by Denise LaSalle playing] 800 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:26,160 [Jeremy] I now knew that we could make an exciting menu using stuff 801 00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:29,000 from our farm and from our neighbours. 802 00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:33,880 And that the food would have a smooth ride 803 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:36,200 from the prep kitchen to the restaurant, 804 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:40,400 because the farm track was coming along nicely. 805 00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:43,160 [reverse alarm] 806 00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:44,960 [music continues] 807 00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,120 [reverse alarm] 808 00:38:57,160 --> 00:39:01,120 [Jeremy] You could do with a few more flashing lights on that thing, Kaleb. 809 00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:03,160 [Kaleb] Remember, we're in construction. 810 00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:05,200 Maybe I haven't got enough. 811 00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,560 [Jeremy] There you go, Fuck Trumpet. Shall we call it a night after this one? 812 00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:18,640 [Kaleb] Yeah. You look like such an old man right now. It is unreal. 813 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:21,280 I like the cross-legged driving position. 814 00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:22,800 [Kaleb] You look like you're sat there 815 00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:24,640 with your glasses on the end of your nose, cross-legged, 816 00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:27,160 reading a column or something about how to get it up 817 00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:28,840 in the morning. 818 00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:35,000 [Jeremy] Truth be told, I really had been feeling like an old man all day. 819 00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:38,160 [lively music] 820 00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:41,440 And the next morning, I found out why. 821 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,360 [sighs] Oh. Not again. 822 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:51,360 Shit. 823 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,360 [Jeremy] However, because this is a farm 824 00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:59,640 and farms can't just stop, 825 00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:03,120 I decided to take a leaf out of Putin's book 826 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:04,480 on COVID precautions, 827 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,320 and set up a morning meeting with Charlie. 828 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:12,080 Hi, Jeremy. 829 00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:13,560 [Jeremy] Sorry about this. 830 00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:15,760 You can be Macron and sit down there. 831 00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:20,360 -What have we got here? -So there are a few things. 832 00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:23,760 We've got some planning stuff back from the council-- 833 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:25,320 -[Gerald] All right? -Hey, look who's here. 834 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:27,160 [Jeremy] G dog! 835 00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:29,000 Are you feeling better? 836 00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:31,800 [Gerald] I reckon! You know, it's got to be 837 00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:35,400 like this when a dog goes underneath... [indistinct] 838 00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:36,680 [Jeremy] Are you still positive? 839 00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:39,040 -[Gerald] Yeah. -[Jeremy] Can we just notice this? 840 00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:42,200 He's in his seventies, positive, up and about. 841 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,400 In my sixties, positive, up and about. 842 00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:46,960 Unlike the snowflake generation. 843 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:50,480 [Gerald] No wonder... [speaking indistinctly] 844 00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,400 [Charlie] I've got some bits for you. 845 00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:58,800 We've got some planning stuff back from the council. 846 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,200 You know, we put in a prior notification 847 00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:05,360 to say, "Look, we're just gonna build the farm track"? 848 00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:07,520 Well, they've actually refused it. 849 00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:09,480 They refused a farm track? 850 00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:10,960 [Charlie] Yeah. Because they've said 851 00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:14,440 that it's already begun and it's not considered reasonable 852 00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,960 and necessary for agricultural purposes within this unit. 853 00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:23,200 [Jeremy] So you can't build a farm track on your own farm? 854 00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:24,840 No, no. You can't. 855 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,280 [Jeremy] Exactly. 856 00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:30,800 [Charlie] The council won't let us do any more. 857 00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:32,080 [sighs] 858 00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:33,600 Oh, for fuck's sake. 859 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:37,840 Have you ever heard of a farmer being turned down for a farm track? 860 00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:39,040 Never. 861 00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:40,280 [Jeremy] Never. 862 00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:42,560 [Jeremy] So, what about the restaurant? 863 00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:47,480 [Charlie] They cannot know, because they will find something to stop us. 864 00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:51,440 [Jeremy] No, but everyone in the village literally does nothing 865 00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:52,640 but spy on us. 866 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:54,760 [dramatic music] 867 00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,360 [Jeremy] Holy cow! Look at this! 868 00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:00,520 They won't stop here. 869 00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:03,040 [Charlie] This is just the first stage. 870 00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:08,360 We always agreed it would be a couple of weeks, not fucking two days. 871 00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:10,680 The countdown has begun. 872 00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:12,640 [theme music playing] 873 00:42:13,305 --> 00:43:13,876 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/bstex Help other users to choose the best subtitles