Those aliens have been here for a while.
Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North.
I thought I was prime minister now.
Agh!
Thank you all for wearing your ID cards.
They'll help to identify the bodies.
Deadly to humans, maybe.
Jackie!
Oi! If you want aliens, they're inside Downing Street. Come on!
- Reinstate my disguise. - Hurry up. Hurry!
No, wait. They're still in there - the emergency protocols. We need them.
Agh!
Where have you been?
I called for help. I sounded the alarm.
There was this lightning, this kind of electricity, and they all collapsed.
- I think they're all dead. - That's what I'm saying!
He did it. That man there!
I think you'll find the prime minister is an alien in disguise.
- That's never gonna work, is it? - No.
Fair enough.
Down there!
Under the jurisdiction of the emergency protocols, I authorise you to execute this man!
Well, now... You see, the thing is...
If I was gonna execute someone by backing them against a wall, a little word of advice...
Don't stand them against the lift!
Hello.
Hide!
I repeat, the upper floors are under quarantine.
You will stay where you are and you will take your orders directly from me.
Mr Green, sir, sorry, but you've got to come with me.
- We should evacuate the entire building. - Sergeant...
- Have you read the emergency protocols? - No, sir.
Then don't question me.
Seal off Number 10, secure the ground floor,
and if the Doctor makes it downstairs,
shoot on sight!
Well, you heard him. Move out!
Let the sport begin.
I'm getting poisoned by the gas exchange.
- I need to be naked. - Rejoice in it.
Your body is magnificent!
Oh, such fun!
Little human children! Where are you?
Sweet little humeykins.
Come to me. Let me kiss you better.
Kiss you with my big green lips.
It does us good to hunt.
Purifies the blood.
We'll keep this floor quarantined as our last hiding ground before the final phase.
My brothers!
- Happy hunting? - It's wonderful!
The more you prolong it, the more they stink!
Sweat and fear.
I can smell an old girl.
Stale perfume and brittle bones.
- And a ripe youngster. - All hormones and adrenalin.
- Fresh enough to bend before she snaps! - Agh!
No! Take me first!
Take me!
Out! With me!
- Who are you? - Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North.
- Nice to meet you. - Likewise.
- Head for the Cabinet Rooms. - The emergency protocols are in there.
- I like you. - I like you, too.
Move and I will triplicate the flammability of this alcohol. We all go up, so back off.
Right, then. Question time. Who are the Slitheen?
- They're aliens. - I got that.
- Who are you if not human? - Who's not human?
- He's not. - He's not human?
- Hush! What's the plan? - But he's got a northern accent.
- Lots of planets have a north. - Hush!
Come on! You have a spaceship in the North Sea transmitting a signal.
You took over the government. What for, invasion?
Why would we invade this godforsaken rock?
- Something's brought the Slitheen race here. - The Slitheen race? Slitheen is not our species.
Slitheen is our surname.
Jocrassa Fel Fotch Pasameer-Day-Slitheen at your service.
- So you're family? - A family business.
Then you're out to make a profit. How can you do that on a godforsaken rock?
Er, excuse me. Your device will do what? Triplicate the flammability?
- Yes. - You're making it up!
Oh, well, nice try. Harriet, have a drink. You're gonna need it.
- You pass it to the left first. - Sorry.
- Thanks. - Now we can end this hunt.
With a slaughter.
Don't you think we should run?
Fascinating history, Downing Street. 2,000 years ago, this was marshland.
1730, it was occupied by a Mr Chicken. He was a nice man. 1796, this was the Cabinet Room.
If the Cabinet's in session and in danger, these are the four safest walls in Britain.
End of lesson.
Installed in 1991. Three inches of steel lining every wall.
- They'll never get in. - And how do we get out?
Ah.
He's safely contained. Cut off communications inside that room, then summon the family.
It's time we finished with this insane planet for good.
There's still no word from inside Downing Street,
though we are getting even more new arrivals.
Group Captain Tennant James of the RAF,
though why he's been summoned we've no idea.
Ewan McAllister, Deputy Secretary for the Scottish Parliament.
And this is most unusual.
I'm told that is Sylvia Dillane, chairman of the North Sea Boating Club.
Quite what connects all these people, we have no idea.
Group Captain. Delighted you could make it. We're meeting upstairs.
That's the spirit! Off you go.
Good to see you.
Come on through.
Ah, Sergeant, now that the Doctor's been neutralised,
the upper levels are out of bounds to everyone.
- Then who are they? - Need to know, Sergeant.
I want you to liaise with Communications.
The acting prime minister will make a public address to the nations of the world.
There you are. If you'd just like to go through and get changed.
If you'd like to head down to the end of the corridor, it's first on the left.
Thank you.
- Got anything stronger? - No chance. This ain't the time for a conga.
- We've got to tell someone. - Who do we trust?
For all we know, they've all got big bog monsters inside of 'em.
This is what he does, that Doctor - everywhere he goes, death and destruction.
- And Rose is in the middle of it. - Has he got a green thing inside him, then?
I wouldn't put it past him, but he's the only person who knows how to fight these things.
I thought I was gonna die.
Come on. If anyone's gonna cry, it's gonna be me. You're safe in my flat.
No one will look for you here since you hate me so much.
You saved my life.
God, that's embarrassing!
You're telling me!
He wanted me dead.
And he's still out there, Mickey.
That policeman.
That thing.
Right, you head off. Inform Control I have one or two things that still need doing.
I haven't quite finished with Mrs Tyler yet.
- Is that all of us? - All the family except Sip Fel Fotch.
- He's found a hunt of his own. - Ah!
- What was his name? - Who?
This one. The secretary or whatever he was called.
I don't know. I talked to him. I brought him a cup of coffee. I never asked his name.
Sorry.
- Right. What have we got? Any terminals? - No. This place is antique!
Why didn't they use the prime minister as a disguise?
He's too slim. They're big. They need to fit inside big humans.
They're about eight feet. How do they squeeze inside?
The compression field around their necks shrinks them. That's why there's all that gas.
It's a big exchange.
Wish I had a compression field to make me smaller!
- This is not the time for making jokes. - Sorry.
You get used to this if you're friends with him.
- That's a strange friendship. - Harriet Jones. I've heard that name before.
- You're not famous, are you? - Hardly!
- It rings a bell. Harriet Jones. - Lifelong backbencher, I'm afraid.
The protocols are redundant. The people they list are all dead downstairs.
Hasn't it got defence codes? Couldn't we launch a nuclear bomb at them?
- You're very violent. - I'm serious. We could.
There's nothing like that in here. Nuclear strikes do need a release code, but it's kept by the UN.
Say that again.
- What? - Anything. All.
Well, the British Isles can't gain access to atomic weapons
without a special UN resolution.
- Like that's ever stopped them! - Exactly. I voted against that, thank you.
The codes have been given to the UN. Is it important?
- Everything is. - If we only knew what the Slitheen wanted.
- I'm saying Slitheen as if it's normal! - What DO they want?
They're just one family, so it's not an invasion.
They're out to make money, so they want to use something.
- Something here on Earth. A kind of asset. - What? Gold? Oil? Water?
You're very good at this.
- Thank you. - Harriet Jones. Why do I know that name?
How did you get a signal?
- He zapped it. Superphone. - Phone for help. You must have contacts.
Dead downstairs, yeah.
- It's Mickey. - Tell your stupid boyfriend we're busy.
He's not so stupid after all.
Not just alien, but, like, proper alien. All stinking and wet and disgusting.
- And it wanted to kill us. - I could have died!
Is she all right, though? Just tell me.
- Ricky, shut up and go to your computer. - It's Mickey, and why should I?
Mickey the idiot, I might just choke before I finish this sentence, but I need you.
It says password.
- Say it again. - It's asking for the password.
Buffalo. Two Fs, one L.
What's that website?
All the secret information known to mankind. They've known about aliens for years.
- They've kept us in the dark. - You were born in the dark!
- Leave him alone. - Thank you. Password.
Just repeat it every time.
- Why did the Slitheen hit Big Ben? - You said to gather the experts, to kill them.
That lot would have gathered for a weather balloon.
The Slitheen are hiding, but then they put the planet on red alert. Why?
- Oh, listen to her! - At least I'm trying.
Well, I've got a question. Since that man walked into our lives, I've been attacked in the streets,
had creatures from the pits of hell in my living room, and had my daughter disappear.
- I told you what happened. - I'm talking to him!
I've seen this life of yours, Doctor. Maybe you get off on it and think it's clever and smart,
but just answer me this.
Is my daughter safe?
I'm fine.
Is she safe?
Will she always be safe?
Can you promise me that?
Well, what's the answer?
We're in.
On the left at the top, there's an icon - little concentric circles. Click on that.
- What is it? - A signal from a Slitheen spaceship.
- Let me work out what it says. - He'll have to answer me one day.
- It's a message. - Saying what?
I don't know.
That's not me. Go and see who that is.
- It's three o'clock in the morning. - Well, go and tell them that.
It's beaming out into space. Who's it for?
All right!
Mrs Tyler!
- It's the thing! It's the Slipeen! - They've found us.
- Mickey, I need that signal. - Mum, just get out! Get out!
We can't. It's by the front door.
- Oh, my God. It's unmasking. - It's gonna kill us.
There must be a way to stop them!
- You're the expert. Think of something! - I'm trying!
I'll take it on, Jackie. You just run.
Don't look back. Just run.
That's my mother.
We'll find their weakness once we know where they're from.
Their basic shape narrows it down to 5,000 planets. What else do we know about them?
- Green. Good sense of smell. - Narrows it down.
- They can smell adrenalin. - The pig technology.
- They use a slipstream engine. - Narrows it down.
It's getting in!
- They hunt like it's a ritual. - Narrows it down.
When they fart, if you'll pardon the word,
it doesn't just smell like a fart, if you'll pardon the word, it's more like...
- Bad breath. - That's it!
Calcium decay! Now, that narrows it down.
- We're getting there, Mum! - Too late!
Calcium phosphate. Organic calcium. Creatures made out of living calcium.
Hyphenated surname. That narrows it down to one planet.
- Raxacoricofallapatorius! - Great. We can write 'em a letter (!)
Get into the kitchen.
- It's gonna rip us apart! - Calcium, weakened by the compression field.
Acetic acid. Vinegar!
- Just like Hannibal! - Got any vinegar?
- How should I know? - Cupboard by the sink.
- What do you need? - Anything with vinegar.
Gherkins!
Yeah! Pickled onions!
Pickled eggs!
And you kiss this man?
Hannibal?
Hannibal crossed the Alps by dissolving boulders with vinegar.
Oh... Well, there you go, then.
He's dead. Sip Fel Fotch Pasameer-Day-Slitheen is dead.
I felt it. How could that happen?
Somebody must have got lucky.
That's the last piece of luck anyone on this rock will ever have.
Ladies and gentlemen...
Nations of the world...
Humankind...
The greatest experts in extraterrestrial events came here tonight.
They gathered in the common cause,
but the news I bring you now is grave indeed.
The experts are dead,
murdered right in front of me by alien hands.
Peoples of the Earth, heed my words.
These visitors do not come in peace.
Listen to this.
Our inspectors have searched the sky above our heads,
and they have found massive weapons of destruction
- capable of being deployed within 45 seconds. - What?
Our technicians can baffle the alien probes,
but not for long.
We are facing extinction
unless we strike first.
The United Kingdom stands directly beneath the belly of the mother ship.
I beg of the United Nations,
pass an emergency resolution.
Give us the access codes.
A nuclear strike at the heart of the beast is our only chance of survival
because...
from this moment on...
it is my solemn duty to inform you...
Planet Earth is at war.
- There's no weapons. He's invented it. - Do you think they'll believe him?
- They did last time. - The Slitheen want the whole world panicking.
- They want you to lash out. - Release the codes...
- And the Slitheen go nuclear. - But why?
You get the codes, release the missiles - but not into space 'cause there's nothing there.
You attack every other country on Earth. World War Three. Whole planet gets nuked.
And we'll sit through it in our spaceship in the Thames. Not crashed, just parked.
Only two minutes away!
But you'll destroy this beautiful place. What for?
Profit. The signal beaming into space is an advert.
The sale of the century. We reduce the Earth to molten slag,
then sell it piece by piece.
Radioactive chunks, capable of powering every cut-price starliner and budget cargo ship.
There's a recession up there. People are buying cheap.
- This rock becomes raw fuel. - At the cost of five billion lives.
Bargain (!)
I give you a choice - leave this planet or I'll stop you.
What?
You?
Trapped in your box?
Yes. Me.
Yesterday saw the start of a brave new world.
Today might see it end.
The streets are deserted.
Everyone's home, just waiting
as the future is decided in New York.
- It's midnight in New York. - The United Nations has gathered.
England has provided them with proof that the massive weapons of destruction do exist.
The Security Council will be making a resolution in a matter of minutes,
and once the codes are released,
humanity's first interplanetary war begins.
Sergeant...
We'll take the call in the prime minister's office.
Maintain your positions.
Good luck.
Look at that! The telephone is actually red!
Oh!
- How long till they phone? - Counting down...
I'm not saying I trust you, but there must be something you can do.
If we fermented the port, we'd make acetic acid.
Mickey, any luck?
- Everyone's on voicemail. - Voicemail dooms us all.
- We have to get out of here. - There is a way.
- What? - There's always been a way out.
- Then why don't we use it? - Because I can't guarantee Rose's safety.
Don't you dare! Whatever it is, don't you dare!
If I don't dare, everyone dies.
Do it.
You don't even know what it is. You'd just let me?
Yeah.
Please. She's my daughter. She's just a kid.
Do you think I don't know that? This is my life. It's not fun or smart.
It's standing up and making a decision because nobody else will.
Then what are you waiting for?
I could save the world but lose you.
Except it's not your decision, Doctor.
- It's mine. - And who the hell are you?
Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North.
The only elected representative in this room, chosen by the people for the people.
On behalf of the people, I command you... do it.
Victory... should be naked!
- How do we get out? - We don't. We stay here.
The Council is voting. The results should be known any second now.
Use the "Buffalo" password. It overrides everything.
What are you doing?
Hacking into the Royal Navy. We're in. Here it is - HMS Taurean, Trafalgar Class submarine,
ten miles off the coast of Plymouth.
- Select a missile. - We can't go nuclear. We don't have the codes.
All we need is an ordinary missile. What's the first category?
- Sub Harpoon, UGM-84A. - That's the one. Select.
I could stop you.
- Do it, then. - Are you ready for this?
Yeah.
Mickey the idiot, the world is in your hands.
Fire.
Oh, my God!
How solid are these?
Not solid enough. Built for short-range attack. Nothing this big.
Now I'M making the decision. I'm not gonna die.
We're gonna ride this one out. You can survive earthquakes by standing under a door frame.
This cupboard's small, so it's strong. Come and help me.
The vote is in.
The Council says...
Yes. They are releasing the codes.
Ring, damn you!
It's on radar. Counter the defence 556.
- Stop them intercepting it. - I'm doing it now.
556 neutralised.
What do you mean, incoming?
Everybody out! Now!
What the hell is that for?
Sir, there's a missile...
Sorry.
- That's mine! You've got mine! - Disguise me!
You're the blonde. I want the other one.
Take it off!
Everybody run!
Here we go.
Nice knowing you both.
Hannibal!
Oh, boll...
Made in Britain!
- Are you all right? - Harriet Jones. MP Flydale North.
Contact the UN. Tell the ambassadors the crisis is over. They can step down.
Go on. Tell the news. Someone's got a hell of a job sorting this lot out!
- We haven't even got a prime minister! - Maybe you should have a go.
Me? I'm only a backbencher.
- I'd vote for you. - Now, don't be silly.
I'd better go and see if I can help. Hang on!
We're safe!
The Earth is safe!
Sergeant!
I thought I knew the name.
Harriet Jones.
Future prime minister. Elected for three successive terms.
- The architect of Britain's Golden Age. - The crisis has passed!
Ladies and gentlemen, I have something to say to you all here today.
Mankind stands tall, proud and undefeated.
God bless the human race!
Mankind stands tall...
- Harriet Jones! - Who does she think she is?
Look at her taking all the credit. It should be you on there. My daughter saved the world!
I think the Doctor helped a bit.
All right, then. Him too.
- You should be given knighthoods. - It's not the way he does things.
No fuss. He just moves on. He's not that bad if you gave him a chance.
He's good in a crisis, I'll give him that.
Oh, now the world HAS changed - you're being nice about him!
I've got no choice. I can't get rid of him. You're infatuated.
I'm not infatuated.
- What does he eat? - How do you mean?
I was going to do shepherd's pie. All of us. A proper sit-down...
'cause... I'm ready to listen.
I want to learn about you and him and that life you lead.
He's an alien. For all I know, he eats grass and safety pins and things.
He'll have shepherd's pie. You're gonna cook for him?
- What's wrong with that? - He's finally met his match.
You're not too old for a slap, you know!
You can visit your gran tomorrow.
I told her you were in France. Said you were au-pairing.
Hello?
- Right. Two hours, then we can go. - You've got a phone?
You think I can travel through time and I haven't got a phone? Huh!
I've just got to send out this dispersal. There you go.
That cancels out the Slitheen advert in case any bargain hunters turn up.
My mother's cooking.
- Put her on a slow heat and let her simmer. - She's cooking tea.
- I don't do that. - She wants to get to know you.
- I'm busy. - It's just tea.
Not to me, it isn't.
- She's my mother. - She's not mine.
- That's not fair. - You can stay there if you want.
A plasma storm's brewing in the Horsehead Nebula.
Fires are burning ten million miles wide.
I could fly the Tardis right into it and ride the shock wave all the way out.
Hurtle right across the sky and end up anywhere.
Your choice.
Rose, I was thinking...
I've got that bottle of Amaretto from New Year's Eve. Does he drink?
- I was wondering whether he drinks or not. - Yeah, he does.
Don't go, sweetheart.
Please don't go.
Good lad. Graffiti that again and I'll have you. Now, beat it!
I just went down the shop and I was thinking, "The whole world's changed."
Aliens and spaceships, all in public.
And here it is.
How could they do that? They saw it.
You're happy to believe in something invisible,
but if it's staring you in the face, you can't see it.
There's a scientific explanation for that - you're thick.
We're just idiots.
- Well, not all of you. - Yeah?
That's a virus. Put it online. It'll destroy every mention of me.
- I'll cease to exist. - What do you want to do that for?
You're right, I am dangerous. I don't want anybody following me.
- How can you say that, then take her with you? - You could look after her. Come with us.
I can't.
This life of yours, it's just too much. I couldn't do it.
Don't tell her I said that.
I'll get a job. I'll work weekends. I'll pass my test. If Jim comes round again, I'll say no.
I'm not leaving 'cause of you. I'm just travelling.
- But it's not safe. - Mum, if you saw it out there,
you'd never stay home.
Got enough stuff (?)
The first time I stepped in there, it was spur-of-the-moment. Now I'm signing up.
You're stuck with me. Hah!
- Come with us. There's room. - No chance.
- He's a liability. - We'd be dead without him.
My decision is final.
Sorry.
Good luck.
You still can't promise me. What if she gets lost?
What if something happens to you and she's left on some moon a million light years away?
- How long do I wait then? - Mum...
It's a time machine.
I could travel around suns and planets and all the way out to the edge of the universe,
and by the time I get back, ten seconds would have passed. Ten seconds.
So stop worrying.
See you in ten seconds' time, yeah?
Ten seconds.
- It's a great big museum. - An alien museum.
- It's my one living specimen. - It fell through time. The only survivor.
- Do something! - I swear, no one on this base is safe.
- You've got to keep it in that cell. - It can't get out.
Civilians. Let 'em through.
It will kill all of us! What's the nearest town?
- Salt Lake City. Population one million. - All dead. Follow this order.
- Just die! - Nearly there. Give us two seconds.
- I've come to help. I'm the Doctor. - Exterminate!
- Impossible! - Exterminate!