1 00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:02,446 - So... - So... 2 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:03,881 What do we do? 3 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:06,725 Do I have to to sit somewhere? Are there seatbelts? Like... 4 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,571 What? You've done this before. This isn't your first trip. 5 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:11,803 Yeah, but it's proper this time. 6 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:14,526 Oh, that's a mistake. 7 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:15,726 What is? 8 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:17,410 Well, you can't reach the controls from the seats, 9 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,005 what's the point in that? 10 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,322 Or do you have stretchy arms like Mr Fantastic? 11 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,846 Oh, I stand. Like this. 12 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:26,651 You never thought of bringing the seats a bit closer? 13 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:27,921 No, not so far, no. 14 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:29,965 Where's the steering wheel? 15 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:33,324 Well, you don't steer the TARDIS, 16 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:35,684 you negotiate with it. 17 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:40,802 Still point between where you want to go 18 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:42,291 and where you need to be. 19 00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:43,970 That's where she takes you. 20 00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:45,605 How much did it cost? 21 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:46,926 Ah. 22 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:49,361 No idea. 23 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,001 Stole it. 24 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,565 - Seriously? - Yeah. 25 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:56,331 Why? 26 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:58,650 Well, actually, because I felt like it. 27 00:00:58,720 --> 00:00:59,846 Oh, what if I steal it from you? 28 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:01,406 On you go, then. 29 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:03,400 Well, I don't know how it works. 30 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,211 Oh, neither did I. 31 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:08,646 Who's that? 32 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:13,041 Mum. 33 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:18,684 Excuse me. 34 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,402 Just what is the TARDIS doing down here? 35 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:23,005 I'm over 2,000 years old. 36 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:24,570 I don't always want to take the stairs. 37 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,005 Your oath, sir. 38 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,845 You're not supposed to go off-world unless it's an emergency. 39 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,082 - I'm not off-world. - Are you going off-world? 40 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:32,326 I'm going back to my office. 41 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,490 Could you put the kettle on, please? 42 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:36,841 Mmm. 43 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:40,280 Why's she here? 44 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,280 Because she isn't anywhere else. 45 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:45,406 Kettle. 46 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:49,368 I'm not making any for her. She can make her own. 47 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:51,966 Not a slave for a human, I can assure you. 48 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,201 So... 49 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:02,046 Back up to your office for a cuppa, then? 50 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:05,366 Between here and my office, 51 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,564 before the kettle boils, 52 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:09,722 is everything that ever happened or ever will. 53 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,289 - Make your choice. - What choice? 54 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:15,960 Past or future. 55 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:18,281 Future. 56 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:23,281 Why? 57 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:25,767 Why do you think? I want to see if it's happy. 58 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,606 Kezzia, where are you? 59 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,840 Hey, Goodthing. I'm coming back in. 60 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,405 Kezzia, don't come in just yet. 61 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,404 I've been out since second sunrise. 62 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:42,686 I'm hungry. 63 00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:45,404 Round them up, big fella. 64 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,403 Kezzia, please don't come in. 65 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,482 We're having a little tiny vard problem. 66 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:59,088 Me and my vardies have just pollinated three miles of wheat. 67 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:00,924 You've got to keep smiling. 68 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,286 Got to what? 69 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:03,481 It's the vardies. 70 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:05,244 God, what's wrong with you? 71 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,328 Is that smile supposed to look real? 72 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,209 It's like you're standing in a wind tunnel. 73 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,241 Hey, big smiles now. 74 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:14,049 Brace yourself. 75 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:15,610 Mum is dead. 76 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,126 Sorry? 77 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:18,201 Smile, smile, smile. 78 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:19,765 That's not even funny. 79 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:20,887 No, it's not a joke. 80 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,483 Mum is dead. Mum is dead. 81 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,288 And Hopeful, she's dead, too. 82 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:29,841 And her friend, Sunshine, she's dead. 83 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,160 And Eliza 84 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,561 and quite a few other people are dead. 85 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,051 Why are you saying this? 86 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:39,002 You can't say things like that grinning like an idiot. 87 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:42,523 Smile, really. Try. If you don't... 88 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,168 I shouldn't have told you. Please smile. 89 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,967 You're on two tears now. 90 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:51,290 Is it hugging me? 91 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:54,605 Who programmed that? 92 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,842 Please, give her a moment. 93 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,562 She'll be happy in a moment. 94 00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,644 Kezzia! 95 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,011 No, look. 96 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:09,645 I'm smiling. 97 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,165 Smiling! 98 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,126 Which way is Earth? 99 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:56,810 Ah, space is bent. 100 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:00,007 Earth is any way you choose to look. 101 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:01,886 Why? You're thinking about leaving? 102 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:05,001 Thinking? I'm not thinking. My brain's overloading. 103 00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:08,362 - Why a phone box? - I told you. 104 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,681 Yeah, well, I get it's a cloaking device. 105 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,407 But why keep it that shape? Why do you like it? 106 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:15,931 Who said I like it? 107 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,968 - You kept it. - Come along. 108 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,529 This is one of the Earth's first colonies. 109 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,882 They say the settlers have cracked 110 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,122 the secret of human happiness. 111 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,086 One question. 112 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:32,971 Little fella said you made an oath? 113 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,045 You're not supposed to leave the planet. 114 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:39,010 Okay, I suppose I owe you an explanation. 115 00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:43,842 A long time ago, a thing happened. 116 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,285 As a result of the thing, 117 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:48,007 I made a promise. As a result of the promise, 118 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,206 I have to stay on Earth. 119 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:50,561 Guarding a vault? 120 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:51,886 Guarding a vault. 121 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,085 Well, you're not guarding the vault right now. 122 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,323 Yes, I am. I have a time machine. I can be back before we left. 123 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,607 But what if you get lost, or stuck or something? 124 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:03,330 I've thought about that. 125 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:04,401 And? 126 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:06,528 Well, it would be a worry, so best not to dwell on it. 127 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,409 Look at this building, look at it. 128 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,962 You know what I really like about humanity? 129 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:12,966 It's optimism. 130 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:14,605 Do you know what this building is made of? 131 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:17,524 Pure, soaring optimism. 132 00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:24,651 What're they? 133 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,125 Alien birds? 134 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:29,447 Vardies. 135 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:31,246 Tiny robots. 136 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:36,490 Work in flocks. They're versatile, hardworking. 137 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:40,124 Good at learning skills. 138 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,882 The worker bees of the third industrial revolution. 139 00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:45,567 Probably just checking us out for security. 140 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,405 These are robots? These are disappointing robots. 141 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:51,885 That's a very offensive remark. 142 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:53,844 Don't make personal remarks like that. 143 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,125 Er, you can't offend the machine. 144 00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:58,009 Typical, wet-brained chauvinism. 145 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:00,364 Oh, what just happened? 146 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:02,566 Your ear's on fire. 147 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,847 Argh, your voice just came out in my ear. 148 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:08,209 I mean, I know voices go into ears, but this is like... 149 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,528 We have been fitted with some kind of communication device. 150 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,285 It is using our own nervous system as hardware. 151 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,721 We've just downloaded an upgrade for our ears. 152 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,086 I'll never lose my phone again. 153 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,208 I'll never run out of battery again! 154 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:20,771 Welcome to paradise. 155 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,411 Hang on, is there a mute button though? Like, what if we're in the loo? 156 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:26,091 Who needs loos? There's probably an app for that. 157 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:29,525 So, where is everyone? 158 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:32,130 Don't tell me we've come halfway across the universe 159 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,531 and they've all gone out. 160 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,126 Should have texted first or something. 161 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,206 What's that? 162 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,688 That is a robot. 163 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,491 That is not a disappointing robot. 164 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,163 Technically, this isn't a robot at all. 165 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,287 The tiny little things, those are the robots. 166 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,129 This is the interface for them. 167 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:57,326 Does it speak? 168 00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,287 Will we understand it? 169 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,920 Well, depends upon what aspect of your language 170 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,968 has survived over so many thousands of years. 171 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,083 Emoji! It speaks emoji! 172 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:08,487 Of course, it does. 173 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:11,170 Aw, it's cute. 174 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:17,241 What's that? 175 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:18,446 Blank patches. 176 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,927 Oh, yours isn't blank. It's got a face on the back. 177 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:25,651 Yours too. 178 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:29,801 Interesting. 179 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,322 It's never on the side that you're looking at. 180 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,326 What's it doing now? What... What face is it making? 181 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,004 Mmm, sort of puzzled. Me? 182 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,604 - Same. - Hmm. 183 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:42,606 Do you know what I think? 184 00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:46,002 I think that this is some kind of a mood indicator. 185 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,122 But you're never allowed to see your own mood? 186 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,005 - Makes sense. - Does it? 187 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,890 Well, seeing your own mood might affect your own mood. 188 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,530 It's like a feedback loop, 189 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,486 interfering with the information being collected. 190 00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:59,843 Like a scale weighing itself. 191 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,965 Well, who's collecting the data? 192 00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:03,721 It's the big question. 193 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,006 So, what do we do, then? 194 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:06,889 Well, if they're badges, then... 195 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:10,640 What? Where's... 196 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:12,370 - Where's it gone? - Oh, it's on your back. 197 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:16,567 Oh, yours too. 198 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,967 So, everyone you walk past can see what you're thinking. 199 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:22,684 What if you really fancy someone? 200 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:26,084 Well, I suppose it means that you have to maintain eye contact with them. 201 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:27,730 Oh, that's brilliant. 202 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,885 Welcome to the future. 203 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,406 Emojis, verbal communications. 204 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:40,801 We're in the utopia of vacuous teens. 205 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,445 Look at this! 206 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,010 It knew I was starving. 207 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,248 Food from another planet. 208 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,364 What? You gotta have it in. 209 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,169 Smells like fish. 210 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,051 I'm not that fond of fish. 211 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:03,240 Except socially, which can complicate a meal like this. 212 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:05,806 Should we eat though? 213 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:07,484 I mean, what if they're not like us? 214 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:08,846 Well, the cutlery is human cutlery. 215 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,208 No other species in the universe uses emojis. 216 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,646 Everything here is human. 217 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,081 Except... 218 00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:16,721 No humans. 219 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,007 This is a perfect colony for humans, so, 220 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:20,770 where are all the colonists? 221 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:25,286 That's some sort of flavoured algae. 222 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,083 I haven't seen any livestock yet. 223 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:29,764 That's good, isn't it? 224 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:33,485 In the future, we don't eat living things, we eat algae. 225 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,841 I met an emperor made of algae once. 226 00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:39,721 He fancied me. 227 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:45,611 Why aren't you loving this? 228 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:47,011 Everything is here. 229 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,682 Everything is ready, but there's no one here. 230 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,405 It's like the student union first thing, 231 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:52,845 before the actual students arrive. 232 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:54,606 Two portions though. 233 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,043 Well, that's because that one is mine. 234 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:01,641 That's it. 235 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,285 That it! Of course! 236 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:06,409 The whole place is waiting. 237 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:08,366 We're just too early. 238 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:09,601 So, who's still in bed? 239 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,289 Two portions. One portion. 240 00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:14,767 Is there going to be food sexism even in the future? 241 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:16,446 Is this bloke utopia? 242 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:19,325 It's probably reading me as two people. The heartbeats. 243 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,528 If you're going to travel 20 light years, 244 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:22,840 you're going to want to make sure 245 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,127 that you've got somewhere to sleep at the end of it, aren't you? 246 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,361 So, what do you do? 247 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,169 Sorry. Two hearts? 248 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:31,642 You send a rocket load of intelligent robots up ahead of you. 249 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,802 They build you a place to live, 250 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,087 so that when you arrive, it's all waiting. 251 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,361 This is brilliant! 252 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,802 You've got two hearts. 253 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,484 Robots, they don't breathe. 254 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:44,370 They can fix the atmosphere for you, send data back. 255 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,121 So, you know whether to bring your waterproofs or not. 256 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:51,400 Working, huge robot flocks. 257 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:55,047 You just send them up ahead and you leave them to it. 258 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,446 Yeah, hearts though, why two? 259 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:57,641 Oh, why one? 260 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,527 Does that mean you've got really high blood pressure? 261 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:03,966 Really high. 262 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,803 So, since people aren't here yet. What do we do? 263 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,400 Put a kettle on? 264 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:19,962 Or are we going to leave before they arrive? 265 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:22,970 Is that what you're worried about? 266 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:27,885 I can see you're worried. 267 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,920 Well, you never know what's around the next corner. 268 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:37,963 Ah, of course. 269 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:39,451 Wheat fields outside, 270 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:41,887 now there's something else to eat when they get here. 271 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,841 This is their crops. 272 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,522 Look, they're going to have orchards, olive groves. 273 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:50,681 This is their nursery. 274 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:53,411 Look, little robots are doing pollination work. 275 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:54,721 Oh, this plant! 276 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,684 There's one of these growing outside the student union. 277 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,091 It smells amazing. 278 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:02,207 Rosemary. 279 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,044 I'm smelling home. 280 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,009 Twenty light years from home. 281 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,205 Thanks for bringing me. 282 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:12,884 This is a great day out. 283 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,644 I mean, come on, 284 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:17,210 admit it, you love it. 285 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:18,926 Did I say I didn't love it? 286 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,651 Yes, I do, it's very... Lovable. 287 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,770 You asked me where all the people were. 288 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:27,128 I theorised that they hadn't got here yet. 289 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,770 Did I sound convincing? 290 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,246 - Yeah. - And did I convince myself? 291 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:34,971 - No. - No. 292 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,527 No, and I'll tell you why, because there should be somebody here. 293 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,644 There should be some kind of a... A set up team. 294 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:43,644 A skeleton crew. 295 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:46,446 You're thinking. 296 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,400 Tell me what you're thinking about. 297 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,041 A magic haddock. 298 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:51,881 Obviously. 299 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:57,804 What is this stuff? Is it snow? 300 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,010 This is fertiliser. 301 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,086 Mineral fertiliser. 302 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:06,809 Calcium based. Now. 303 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,647 We don't have answers, so let's put together two questions. 304 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,007 What is the source of this mineral fertiliser? 305 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:16,766 Where are all the people? 306 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:23,766 Ugh! 307 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:25,886 Here. 308 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:27,727 Right here. 309 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,206 In this garden. 310 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:30,726 Oh, my God. 311 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,161 Despite appearances, they haven't been dead very long. 312 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,006 What? Those are the colonists? 313 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:54,251 The colonists aren't here yet. 314 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:55,766 This is the set up team. 315 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:57,566 The skeleton crew. 316 00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,369 Well, why did the robots feed them to the garden? 317 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,204 I don't know. Maybe they ran out of fertiliser. 318 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:02,361 Let's not ask them. 319 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,088 Hello. 320 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:09,322 - Er, we were just admiring your garden. - Yes! 321 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,847 We'll be gone now because there's nothing of particular interest here. 322 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:13,921 Cheerio! 323 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,842 If he's chasing us, he's moving very slowly. 324 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:23,968 Do you know what it means if something chases you very slowly? 325 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:25,166 - What? - It means, 326 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,083 there's a reason that they don't have to run. 327 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:37,850 Okay, they're slow but the city's full of 'em. 328 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:38,921 So they catch you in the end. 329 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,286 And what do we do? 330 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,647 The question. We've been here for ages. 331 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:43,926 Why are they taking us now? 332 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,081 Does it matter? 333 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:46,241 Only if we want to live. 334 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:49,647 Smile for me. 335 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:50,761 Smile? 336 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:53,762 Use your whole face. Right now. Do it. 337 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,210 Er, what good's smiling? 338 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:57,890 Smiles aren't just smiles. 339 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:01,408 Psychologically, they have a measurable effect on your mood states. 340 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:03,001 Yes! 341 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:07,608 These robots, they built this place, they grew those trees. 342 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,726 Something went wrong, but they were designed to make you happy. 343 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:13,366 How would massacring hundreds of people make me happy? 344 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:16,768 "How would massacring hundreds of people make me happy?" Smiley face. 345 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:19,321 Smiley face. 346 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:20,601 Magic haddock. 347 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,967 What magic haddock? What's that all about? 348 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,766 The robots want you to be happy but they got the wrong end of the stick. 349 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,650 I think we should give them what they want. 350 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,925 Don't even try without smiling. 351 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:42,927 What a lovely place you have here! 352 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,321 Thank you so much for your hospitality. 353 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,086 We will come again. 354 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:53,170 Doctor, I... I was thinking, maybe next time we might go to Wiltshire, 355 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:54,366 perhaps. 356 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,805 Or Aberdeen. 357 00:16:56,360 --> 00:17:03,164 Ah, yes. Two thumbs up for Wiltshire/Aberdeen. 358 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,284 - Doctor! - Smile! 359 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:17,044 Smile! 360 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,685 Where did they come from? 361 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,127 Once we're out of the city, we should be safe. 362 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:41,606 Are they coming after us? 363 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,404 I'm guessing that once we're out, we're not their problem. 364 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,847 Right. You'll be perfectly safe in the TARDIS. 365 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,649 She'll look after you till I get back. 366 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:52,767 Where are you going? 367 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,766 There's a giant smiley abattoir over there. 368 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,207 And I'm having this really childish impulse to blow it up! 369 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,361 Be right back. 370 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,408 What, you're going back in? We've only just escaped. 371 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:05,966 I thought we were going home. 372 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:08,961 Home? 373 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,244 Why would we be going home? 374 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,243 That place is a living death trap. 375 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:15,845 We can't just leave it with its mouth wide open. 376 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,410 But they're all dead. 377 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:18,970 We saw them, it's too late. 378 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,930 We have to assume that there is a colony ship on the way. 379 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,082 What do you think is gonna happen when all those people arrive? 380 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,169 They're expecting the new Garden of Eden. 381 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,891 What they are not expecting is to be the fertiliser. 382 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,924 There's broadband in there. Go and watch some movies or something. 383 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:34,645 Well, I get that someone has to do something, 384 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:35,926 but why is it you? 385 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:37,890 Can't you phone the police? 386 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,209 Isn't there a helpline or something? 387 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,481 And stay away from my browser history! 388 00:18:57,360 --> 00:18:59,124 A penguin with his arse on fire. 389 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:18,961 Huh. 390 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:30,961 Ah. 391 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,200 Good morning. 392 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,047 I'm happy. 393 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:39,328 Good morning. Look at me. I'm... I'm happy. happy. happy. happy... 394 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:42,569 What a lovely, beautiful morning. It makes me so happy. 395 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,162 I'm happy, I hope that you are happy too. 396 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:49,641 See? 397 00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:51,201 Happy. 398 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,722 Hello, is someone there? 399 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:17,761 I can hear you breathing. 400 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:19,406 Why are you Scottish? 401 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:22,969 I'm not Scottish. I'm just cross. 402 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,451 Is there a Scotland in space? 403 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:25,527 They are all over the place. 404 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,449 Demanding independence from every planet that they land on. 405 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:28,601 Why are you here? 406 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,160 Because I figured out why you keep your box as a phone box. 407 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:32,321 I told you, it's stuck. 408 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,926 "Advice and assistance obtainable immediately." 409 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,530 - You like that. - No, I don't. 410 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,330 See, this is the point. 411 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:42,810 You don't call the helpline because you are the helpline. 412 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,126 Don't sentimentalise me. 413 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,248 I don't just fly around helping people out. 414 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:47,681 What are you doing right now? 415 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,131 I happened to be passing by so I'm mucking in. 416 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:52,725 You never passed by in your life. 417 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:54,850 You couldn't even leave me serving chips. 418 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,445 So, I'm not gonna leave you. 419 00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,001 Look at the wall. 420 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:01,441 - The wall? - Closely. 421 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:09,761 Before, when the vardi, the little microbots, were going to attack you, 422 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,525 you asked me where they came from. 423 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:14,966 Well, they didn't come from anywhere. 424 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,170 They were here all the time. 425 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,849 In the wall? 426 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,608 No. Not in the wall. 427 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,931 They're not in the wall. They are the wall. 428 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,525 They' re all the walls. 429 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,326 These little robots didn't build this place. 430 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:36,447 They became it. 431 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,000 They can be a part of a wall one minute, flying around the next. 432 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:43,881 This whole structure is built from interlocking microbots. 433 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,690 Smile. You're in the belly of the beast. 434 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,366 So what do we do? 435 00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:55,403 Well, the obvious. We find a real wall. 436 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,490 Oh, you really are smiling, aren't you? 437 00:21:58,600 --> 00:21:59,965 Do you know why? 438 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,048 You're an awesome tutor. 439 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:09,446 When the Vikings invaded, they used to pull the longboats out of the water, 440 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:10,601 turn them upside down 441 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,491 and live in them as houses 442 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:15,211 until they pillaged and looted enough to build new ones. 443 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:17,521 So? 444 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,443 You didn't see a spaceship outside, did you? 445 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,048 When the settlers first landed, they must have lived in it 446 00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:24,088 and built out from it, 447 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,046 so it's still here. 448 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,484 Somewhere inside this building. 449 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:32,605 Ah... 450 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,211 Bits of meteor damage. 451 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,687 Flakes of rust. Rivets. Oh, I love rivets. 452 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:43,288 A wall. A real, honest wall. Not made of tiny robots but made of any old iron. 453 00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:46,842 Every spacecraft needs... A door! 454 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:57,207 Not even locked. 455 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,084 They were expecting to live in peace. 456 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:12,761 Wicked. 457 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:14,649 We'll lock it after us, shall we? 458 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:31,930 It's life support systems are starting up. 459 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,286 It knows we're here. 460 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:36,124 Whoever did the interior decoration in here 461 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,202 needs to take lessons from whoever did the out there. 462 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:41,489 Ah. This was built by humans. That was built by vardi. 463 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,369 Wet brains, dry brains. 464 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:56,921 Ah... 465 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:04,442 Good old, universally-compatible 466 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:08,320 incorruptible maps. 467 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:11,401 You are here. 468 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:14,686 This is the engine room. 469 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,407 That's the target. That's where I'm going. 470 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,329 - Where am I going? - You are staying here. 471 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:23,847 And you will be guiding me to here using this map. 472 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,843 I'll hear you through the thingamabob. 473 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:30,291 I'm on a spaceship. 474 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:32,321 Like, for real. 475 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:34,887 A proper one. 476 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,800 - Left or right? - Oh! Er... 477 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,281 Right. 478 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:46,162 Well, they were certainly planning to make themselves at home here. 479 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,811 They brought all their favourite knick-knacks. 480 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:53,567 Er, there should be a door that leads on to a corridor. 481 00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:58,243 - I really am on a spaceship. - Yes... 482 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,922 Which we are about to blow up. 483 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:02,166 How are you allowed to do that? 484 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:06,561 Like, how are you allowed to blow something up and not get into trouble. 485 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,802 I mean, blow something up, get into trouble. 486 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:11,281 That is a standard sequence. 487 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:14,490 What do you mean "allowed"? It's a moral imperative. 488 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,205 This is a murder machine. 489 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:19,371 Beautiful though. I mean, the whole place. 490 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:23,170 Er, you should be able to see a staircase. 491 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,522 All traps are beautiful. That's how they work. 492 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,764 - Up or down? - Down. 493 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:32,762 What... What's this big bit in the middle? 494 00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,362 There's a big, empty space in the middle. 495 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:39,043 The engine is in the middle of a big, empty space. 496 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:40,481 What's that for? 497 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:41,766 Attention. 498 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:45,123 Attention. Error one systems initiated 499 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,965 Ship's system's set to respond to human presence. 500 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:51,567 It was sleeping. We walked in. Now it's waking up. 501 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:55,083 - Er, there should be a ladder. - Got it. 502 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:19,201 Pitiful. 503 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:20,970 Fleischman cold fusion engine. 504 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:24,761 All I got to do is back the flow into the calorimeter and run. 505 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:27,008 It's like it wants to get blown up. 506 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:34,009 Hang on, I'm being thick. I can come with you. 507 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,761 Took that long to think of photographing it? 508 00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:40,365 You'd already memorised it, hadn't you? 509 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,046 - Yep. - Stop trying to keep me out of trouble. 510 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:46,602 There's no trouble. 511 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,042 This is going to be a stroll in the park. 512 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,521 Doctor, why did people come here? 513 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:29,250 Did something terrible happen? 514 00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:30,726 I can't hear you. 515 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:35,961 Oh! Argh! 516 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,690 - This isn't as easy as it looks. - I've got to know. 517 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,925 The people who came here. Were they the last people? 518 00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:46,643 Were they our last hope? 519 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:48,803 Earth was evacuated. 520 00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:56,848 But there were a number of ships. 521 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,321 I've bumped into a few of them over the years. 522 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:04,446 Right. I've rerouted the flow. 523 00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:06,761 No.No.No.No.No. 524 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:08,285 That's not right. Bad noise. 525 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,727 That's not right... No. No! Er... 526 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:20,807 No. When the calorimeter reaches its peak... 527 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:22,530 I could do with a hand here! 528 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,284 Okay. On my way. 529 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:33,567 Oh. 530 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,206 Are we there yet? 531 00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,927 Doctor, there's something you need to know. 532 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,731 I'm too busy! 533 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:50,527 Oh! 534 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,684 Almost with you, Doctor. 535 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:04,963 You took your time. 536 00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:07,089 When I let this go, 537 00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:08,565 it's gonna spin back. 538 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,407 I want you to hold it tight 539 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,130 while I jam it shut. 540 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:27,561 Doctor? Doctor, can you hear me? 541 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,160 Oh, don't worry about me. 542 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,164 I'm having the time of my life 543 00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:34,248 making new friends! 544 00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:35,607 Come on. 545 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:51,804 Get ready to run. Run really fast! 546 00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:55,441 What? 547 00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:57,886 Where did you come from? 548 00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:59,365 Where is everybody? 549 00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:02,848 When you say everybody... 550 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:05,203 My very good people. 551 00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:08,602 We will soon be beginning an emergency disembarkation. 552 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:11,923 Good people, please prepare for disembarkation. 553 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:15,801 We wish you a happy new world. 554 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:17,081 Doctor? 555 00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:18,841 Pods. 556 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:21,171 Pods. 557 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:22,844 What is it? What's happening? 558 00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:26,164 We can't blow up the city. 559 00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:30,247 Why? 560 00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:32,249 Those pods, what's in them? 561 00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:33,606 I got it wrong. 562 00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:37,485 I got it very, very wrong. 563 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,169 The colony ship isn't on the way. 564 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:43,641 It's right here. 565 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:47,043 The colonists are all around us. 566 00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:48,281 Cryogenically frozen. 567 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:53,048 What's in those pods, Bill, is the surviving population 568 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:54,246 of Earth. 569 00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:58,724 And! nearly killed all of them. 570 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,567 Welcome to your new world. 571 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:02,766 Be happy. 572 00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:05,125 They're waking up, aren't they? 573 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,208 We must've triggered the process when we came in. 574 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:11,651 So what happens now? 575 00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:13,926 Now? 576 00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:17,722 Now they're all gonna leave the ship 577 00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,451 and find their friends and family mulched in the garden. 578 00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:24,489 And did Earth smile about that? 579 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:28,408 It's going to be the end of the human race. 580 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:44,124 Argh. Oh, those pods, eh? 581 00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:45,486 Not much headroom. 582 00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:47,403 Oh. Thought I'd be first up. 583 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:48,965 Steadfast. I'm at Tech one. 584 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:51,526 - What day is this? - The end of the world. 585 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:53,648 Again? We've only just got here. 586 00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:56,000 Bill, with me. 587 00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:57,161 What's happening? 588 00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:02,043 What's happening is nobody leaves this ship until I tell you otherwise. 589 00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:03,811 Clear? Nobody leaves. 590 00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,325 - Where are we going? - No idea. 591 00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,243 But if I look purposeful, they'll think I've got a plan. 592 00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:11,566 If they think I've got a plan, 593 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:14,007 at least they won't try to think of a plan themselves. 594 00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:15,809 But you don't have a plan? 595 00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:18,008 I don't know how to stop it happening again. 596 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,162 Because I can't figure out why it happened last time. 597 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:21,765 What made them do this? 598 00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:24,284 I think I need to show you something. 599 00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:30,011 Section A-34, reanimation sequence commencing. 600 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:34,320 Spacecraft landed. 601 00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:37,920 Most of the colonists were kept in cryogenic suspension. 602 00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,209 A few, the ones with skills... 603 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:42,089 The best ones. The brave ones. 604 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:43,810 They were woken 605 00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,806 to shepherd the little flocks of vardi robots. 606 00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:51,006 She came here. She was happy. 607 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:54,131 It was all going well. 608 00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:57,970 Those are the shepherds, aren't they? 609 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:00,480 And they're all dead. 610 00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:04,522 If we rearrange this data 611 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,082 to reflect the time of death, what do we get? 612 00:34:13,240 --> 00:34:14,241 That's her. 613 00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:21,280 This woman died. There's no sign of violence. 614 00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,488 So you know, she just died the way that humans do. 615 00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:27,406 Then a few more people died 616 00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:32,131 all at the same time and then a lot more died just after. 617 00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:34,971 And then the rest. 618 00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:36,246 Dozens. 619 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,128 A virus? A virus that went... 620 00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:41,201 Well, viral? 621 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,683 Grief! Grief! 622 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:45,410 Grief as plague. 623 00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:46,481 How? 624 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:50,686 The vardies, well, their job was to maintain happiness. 625 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,970 At first that meant making sure there was enough oxygen and water. 626 00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,691 That's what the badges are meant to communicate. 627 00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:58,560 Satisfaction. 628 00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:00,449 A positive mental state. 629 00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:03,009 But the vardi are smart. 630 00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:04,721 They learn. 631 00:35:05,240 --> 00:35:06,730 Try to be good servants. 632 00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:12,008 So they expand the definition of happiness until... 633 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:13,961 She dies. 634 00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:18,489 No one had ever died here before this lady. 635 00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,086 The vardies, they've never heard of grief before. 636 00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:26,443 This place is all about hope and the future and happiness. 637 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:28,010 No one ever thought about the opposite. 638 00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,242 The vardies didn't know what to do with it. 639 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:36,568 They identified grief as the enemy of happiness 640 00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:40,201 and everyone who was experiencing grief 641 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:41,611 as a problem, 642 00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:43,091 - as... - Compost. 643 00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:44,491 And all those dead people, 644 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,528 well, you know, they had friends and family, too, so... 645 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:47,931 Even more compost. 646 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,048 And so on, and so on and so on 647 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:53,369 and what you get is a whole, like, a grief tsunami. 648 00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:54,930 And all this took how long? 649 00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:56,400 One morning. 650 00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:58,648 All of these people were slaughtered in a day. 651 00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:01,051 Slaughtered for their own good. 652 00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:02,924 Because the vardi think different. 653 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:04,764 Like the magic haddock. 654 00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,286 Not bad, not good, just different. 655 00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:10,085 So what will happen when the new people meet the robots? 656 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:22,681 That's the boy. 657 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:25,483 The first to wake up. Where did you get this? 658 00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:27,164 I think it's his mother's, don't you? 659 00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:28,321 Yeah, or his nan's. 660 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:32,002 Well, you'll find her. When she wakes up in her pod. 661 00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:35,565 I found it in the fruit garden when we first arrived. 662 00:36:37,720 --> 00:36:38,801 Oh. 663 00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:43,005 I would say that a lot of the colonists had friends or family 664 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:44,930 who were working here as shepherds. 665 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,331 When they find out what happened... 666 00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:48,562 They'll be grief-stricken. 667 00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:50,601 And after that? 668 00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:52,451 A massacre. 669 00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:58,531 Okay, where are we going? 670 00:36:58,600 --> 00:36:59,965 What's the opposite of a massacre? 671 00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,771 - Okay, what? - In my experience a lecture. 672 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,043 You brought the vardi here. 673 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:20,327 Microbots to make your life so easy. 674 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:22,880 But like every slave class in history, 675 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,850 the vardi are beginning to have ideas of their own. 676 00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:29,202 They wanted to eliminate unhappiness 677 00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:32,921 but to a robot that meant eliminating unhappy people- 678 00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:35,522 They gave you monitors badges, 679 00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:38,570 so they'd know when you were too unhappy to live. 680 00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:52,282 - You need to listen. - I did listen. 681 00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,290 What did I miss? The vardi have killed our families. 682 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:56,771 But you need to understand why that happened. 683 00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:57,966 I don't care why. 684 00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,361 Then you will die, too, and so will everyone on your ship. 685 00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:02,761 - The vardi are not your enemy. - They want to kill us. 686 00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:04,365 No, they want to help you. 687 00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:06,329 - Killing you is just the side effect. - Get out of my way. 688 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,329 You've got guns. You think that'll help you against the whole living city? 689 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:13,081 That little boy, where did he go? 690 00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:15,091 My mum was a gardener. 691 00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:17,446 Have you seen her? 692 00:38:20,720 --> 00:38:22,245 She's supposed to be here. 693 00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:33,566 There he is. 694 00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:35,411 Step away from the kid. 695 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:36,970 They're not armed. 696 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,281 You don't need to do this. You just need to... 697 00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:40,361 What's wrong? 698 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:42,890 What's going on? Where's my mum? 699 00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:44,926 Where's everyone? 700 00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:50,042 - Where's everyone? - Oh, no, no, no, no. 701 00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:51,121 Don't cry. Don't cry. 702 00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:52,561 Hey, hey... 703 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,570 Look, everything's gonna be okay. 704 00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:56,404 Look. 705 00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:58,528 This is your new house. Isn't it lovely? 706 00:38:58,600 --> 00:38:59,681 I want Mummy. 707 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,569 Okay. Smile, smile, smile, smile. 708 00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:04,044 Everything's gonna be fine if you just keep smiling. 709 00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:05,485 Get away from the kid! 710 00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:15,648 What's that? 711 00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,089 Rage? Revenge? 712 00:39:18,240 --> 00:39:19,526 It's one robot. 713 00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:20,965 It's not one robot. 714 00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:24,251 Doctor, what do we do? 715 00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:26,801 Doctor, what's happening? 716 00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:28,601 Cover fire! Now! 717 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:34,843 - It's fascinating. - What's fascinating? 718 00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:36,968 The vardi are identifying as under attack. 719 00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:38,849 Which means they identify as a species. 720 00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:40,724 They are self-aware. They... 721 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:42,847 They're alive! 722 00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:44,446 They're going to kill us. 723 00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:50,768 - What are you doing? - I really hope this doesn't hurt. 724 00:39:51,720 --> 00:39:53,882 Do you know why I always win at chess? 725 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:56,085 Because I have a secret move. 726 00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:57,641 I kick over the board. 727 00:39:58,520 --> 00:39:59,521 Here it comes. 728 00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:09,406 Once, long ago 729 00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:12,086 a fisherman caught a magic haddock. 730 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:16,051 The haddock offered the fisherman three wishes in return for his life. 731 00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:18,371 The fisherman said, 732 00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:20,966 "I'd like my son to come home from the war" 733 00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:22,963 "and 100 pieces of gold." 734 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:27,844 The problem is magic haddock, like robots, 735 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:29,570 don't think like people. 736 00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:33,401 The fisherman's son came home from the war in a coffin. 737 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:38,203 The king sent 100 gold pieces in recognition of his heroic death. 738 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:42,930 The fisherman had one wish left. What do you think he wished for? 739 00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:46,928 Some people say he should've wished for an infinite series of wishes. 740 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,287 But if your city proves anything, 741 00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:52,569 it is that granting all your wishes is not a good idea. 742 00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:54,369 It's okay. 743 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:56,285 It's not gonna hurt you. 744 00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:58,330 Actually, he doesn't even know who you are. 745 00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:00,289 What happened? What have you done? 746 00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:04,570 In fact, the fisherman wished that he hadn't wished the first two wishes. 747 00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:06,722 Thus, in a way, pressed the reset button. 748 00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:08,680 What the hell did you do? 749 00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:11,525 Aren't you listening? 750 00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:13,450 I pressed the reset button. 751 00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,486 Every computer has one and anyone can find it. 752 00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:20,281 Especially if they happen to be a scary, handsome, genius from space. 753 00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:22,567 I re-initialised the entire command structure 754 00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,088 retaining all programmed abilities 755 00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:28,243 but deleting the supplementary preference architecture. 756 00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:30,087 He turned it off and on again. 757 00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:31,889 I turned it off and on again. 758 00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:36,485 Course, I wiped their memories. 759 00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:41,331 They no longer have the faintest idea who you are. 760 00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:44,643 And, in fact, they're wondering what you're doing in their very nice city. 761 00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:46,727 Their city? 762 00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:48,401 Yes. 763 00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:50,201 Their city. 764 00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:51,761 It's made of them. 765 00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:53,205 - It's our city. - Oh. 766 00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,408 - They're our robots. - They were. 767 00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:57,086 Welcome to your new world. 768 00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:59,086 Meet the vardi. 769 00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:03,049 They are as of now the indigenous life form. 770 00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:04,485 You'd best make friends with them 771 00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:06,642 because there's loads of them. 772 00:42:06,720 --> 00:42:09,041 And they're the only ones who know how anything works. 773 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:11,401 They killed our people. 774 00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:15,281 Well, look. 775 00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:18,522 They have forgotten about that. 776 00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:20,769 They've forgotten about you. 777 00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:24,448 They've forgotten that you even made them in the first place. 778 00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:27,451 Now, since they have absolute power over this city 779 00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:31,525 and since, I'm assuming, you all don't want to sleep rough tonight, 780 00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:32,681 I have a suggestion for you. 781 00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:36,081 Smile. 782 00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:38,805 You can't be serious. 783 00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:40,610 I am serious. 784 00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:42,489 In fact, I'm willing to be a negotiator. 785 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,085 - Are you now? - Yes. 786 00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:46,166 Watch. 787 00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:51,162 Hello, I'm the Doctor. 788 00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:55,841 A few hours ago, I made the mistake of not recognising your status 789 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,207 as an emergent new life-form. 790 00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:02,763 As recompense for my mistake, please allow me to act as your negotiator 791 00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:06,049 with the migratory conglomerate known as the human race. 792 00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:09,090 They're looking for a place to stay and they've got their eye on your city. 793 00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:13,645 Would you like me to discuss rent? 794 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:21,324 $0, is it gonna work? 795 00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:23,726 That's up to them. 796 00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:28,160 Did you just... 797 00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:31,047 Well, did we just 798 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,084 jumpstart a new civilisation? 799 00:43:34,240 --> 00:43:36,049 It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it. 800 00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:37,566 Did you do this all the time? 801 00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:38,721 Do what? 802 00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:40,609 Flying around sorting things out like some kind of 803 00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:42,284 intergalactic policeman? 804 00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:44,886 I don't sort things out. I'm definitely not a policeman. 805 00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:47,050 Well, you live in a police box. 806 00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:50,171 - It's a pure coincidence. - Yeah, of course. 807 00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:57,120 Back at the exact moment we left. 808 00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:02,000 Kettle's boiling, and with a vote to God, 809 00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:05,926 and everything is exactly as we left it. 810 00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:12,485 Wasn't snowing when we left. 811 00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:19,203 Maybe I do need a steering wheel. 812 00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:23,761 - Where are we? - London. 813 00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:27,930 And this is 814 00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:29,961 the Thames. 815 00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:42,609 Travel into the past, there's got to be rules. 816 00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:44,967 If I step on a butterfly, it could send ripples through time. 817 00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:46,769 Yeah! 818 00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:49,571 Regency England. Bit more black than they show in the movies. 819 00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:51,444 Are there any side effects to time travel? 820 00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:54,771 Sometimes you see lights under the ice. 821 00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:55,841 Stay back! 822 00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:58,082 There's something frozen under the Thames and it's eating people. 823 00:44:58,160 --> 00:44:59,491 Plan, let's get eaten. 824 00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:05,249 The creature will be fed. 825 00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:06,731 Have you ever killed anyone?