.
- Previously on "Good Girls"...
- Who is that guy? - He works for me.
- Where am I?
- I'm a friend of your friend's.
- You want to bring other people into this now?
- We've got a system that works.
- So what's a secret shopper?
- The more you buy and return,
the more money you're gonna make!
- You think you can slip in fake cash with the real
and I ain't gonna notice? - We would never do that!
- No! Maybe it was one of the women!
- How would you know that
I turned in the exact same cash.
I don't know what you've gotten me involved in,
but it's something super shady.
- An arrest you made this week gave us a man on the inside.
- Did you get to put on the cuffs?
- Maybe.
- I got cola, tina, molly, oxy, K, addys,
and fat bags of herb.
- I'll take all of it.
- Wow, I didn't think you had it in you.
- 10,000.
- So we're good now, right? - Yeah.
Till next month.
[dog whines]
[dog chewing]
Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
[dog continues whining]
[dog whining]
[suspenseful music]
♪
[indistinct chatter on TV]
- Where is it? - Huh?
- The money, Dean, where is it?
- What are you talking about?
- The cash that was all over the kitchen,
it's gone, it's all gone.
- Okay, calm down. - Did you take it?
- No! Are you seriously accusing me right now?
- You don't have the best track record with money, Dean.
- I didn't touch your stupid money!
- Okay, who took it?
- I don't know. Who knows about it?
Jeez, man.
[heavy breathing]
- Why did you take my money?
- Mm-mm.
My money. Mine.
We're gonna be shutting things down for a while.
- What does that even mean?
- One of my associates got picked up.
When I feel heat, I don't mess around.
My bad. Do you want some?
- No. - You sure?
They put the-- they put the hash brown
on the inside of this thing.
- I don't understand.
- Me neither, like-- And they're still so crispy.
- No, I'm talking about the shutdown.
- Mm.
Yeah.
Yeah, you closed for business.
- But you took all of it.
- So?
- So part of that was our cut!
We worked our asses off for that money!
- What do you want me to say?
It's a company-wide shutdown.
And if I got closing costs, everybody feels the pain.
- You can't just mess with people's lives like that!
- You want to know what I can't do?
I can't do five to 15 in FCI Milan
'cause some bitches need their pocket money.
- How long?
- Excuse me?
- How long are we shut down?
- Till further notice.
- How long?
- I don't know.
- Like a week?
- I don't know.
- If you had to guess.
- Okay. Six months!
- Six months? - I don't know!
I mean, when are we gonna put a man on Mars?
- A couple years tops.
I just feel like we're close, you know?
- So what are we gonna do about the secret shoppers?
- We tell them corporate's revamping the program.
- Okay, yeah, I guess I'd buy that.
- What about our friendly neighborhood
blackmailer up our ass?
- Well, we just paid her, so at least we have some time.
- What about us?
- I mean, what are we supposed to do?
Go back to working like dogs
and barely scraping by?
- I guess we go legit for a while.
- [sighs]
- So the dogs and the scraping.
- I like the word "legit" better.
[dramatic music]
- I mean, seriously, how long has it been
since we've had a playdate?
- Forever!
- Bethie's always so busy.
- Yeah.
Right?
Beth?
["Dreamers" by K.Flay]
- Not anymore.
- You know, there is so much that we need help with
at the school right now.
- Oh, pancake breakfast!
And, eh, fall clean-up.
- Silent auction!
- Oh, do you know what Taft did?
They let you bid on a parking spot close to the school.
- That is genius.
- So convenient!
- Higher, Mommy, higher!
- ♪ What would I do different if I hit rewind ♪
♪ And did it again?
♪ I tried to figure it out
♪ But nothing was coming to mind ♪
♪ Remembered all my mistakes ♪
♪ But the memories made me smile ♪
- Well, I mean, the urinals could use a little more love.
- I just started in here.
- No one excused their way to the top.
- ♪ This one goes out to all the dreamers at sea ♪
- Speaking of--
- Urinals?
- I was hoping I could maybe pick up a couple more shifts.
I'll take graveyard, or whatever you have is fine.
- Why?
What's going on?
- I need the money.
- Was the bling ring not panning out?
- ♪ I want more
- Here's what I like... [clears throat]
You've been, uh, passing the drug tests
with flying colors.
- One day at a time, right?
- And you've shown a real willingness
to take on new challenges.
So that's all good.
My concern
is still the overall attitude.
- I'll work on it.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
And hey, come back in an hour
and I'll have this place
shining like fine silver.
- Look at you, Annie Bananie.
You've come a long way.
- Thanks.
- And I'll, uh...
Try to get you on the schedule a little more.
- ♪ This life is only what you want it to be ♪
- Urinals.
- ♪ I want more, I want more ♪
- You just talk to local businesses,
see what they might be willing to donate.
- It's a chance to be really creative.
- Bolton Travel donated
a hot air balloon ride last year.
- No way.
- What if I hadn't asked?
- Thank God you did!
- Welcome to Dandy Donuts. What can I get for you?
- "Dandy Day."
- What?
- "On this dandy day."
- Sorry. What can I get for you on this dandy day?
[radio chatter]
Can you repeat that?
- Three glazed, a maple bar, and a coffee.
- You heard?
- Three glazed and a maple, stat!
- How could you hear that?
Thank you.
- Whoa, whoa, did they ask for extra sugar?
- They coulda.
- But did they?
- Dude, it literally sounds like
they're speaking Mandarin with a stutter out there.
- Okay, we don't do extra sugar.
- Okay.
- Come on, hustle! The line is backing up!
- ♪ This one goes out to all the dreamers at sea ♪
- Thank you.
- Dandy day!
- Have yourself a dandy day!
- ♪ I want more
- How much? - 1,900.
- Is that it?
- It's all I can spare right now.
- Same.
- I can try and squeeze a tiny bit more out of Dean.
I'm getting an allowance again.
Don't look at me like that, he offered it and I took it.
- Hey, I am not throwing stones.
Last night, I got donut fat in my eye.
- I found a dead cat in a produce truck,
not that it's a competition.
- Well, it's not ten grand,
but it's still a payday in my book.
- I mean, do you think she'll take it?
- She'll take it and she'll like it.
Screw this bitch!
I am so tired of this trick!
We are shut the hell down.
What does she want? Blood?
- Hey! Hey! Over here!
[cheering]
- Who is that?
- I don't know.
Must have me confused with someone else.
- Well, we do all look alike.
- Right?
- Ruby! Hey!
- Okay, she don't look confused.
- Hi!
- Oh, wait. I do know her.
- Oh, yeah? From school?
- No.
- Hi!
- Yeah, hello. - It's good to see you!
- Hi.
- Which one is yours?
- Uh, in the yellow.
- Well, they're all in yellow.
[laughter]
- No, our daughter, she's on the bench down there.
She's not feeling too great.
- Oh. - Hi, I'm Stan.
- Mary Pat.
Oh, she's so sweet.
- Yeah. Which one is yours?
- Well, Benji here might be starting soon.
We're just gonna, kind of, check out the program.
Hey, Mister, did you ever hear of a napkin?
Oh, come on, don't--
Gosh, I hope I have some wipes.
Um...could--Do you mind? Actually, just like--
Oh, wait! Found some.
Phew!
- So I guess this little guy here's gonna be a few years
before he gets his cleats, huh?
- That's right.
You didn't tell me
that you're married to a police officer!
- Oh, he's not a real cop yet.
- Oh, okay, now. Almost there.
- Well, thank you, Stan,
for almost protecting our city.
- She's funny, this one.
- She'll keep you on your toes.
- Hey, can I, um, can I ask you about a police matter?
- He's off duty.
- What if somebody stole money out of my mail?
- Yeah? How much?
- Uh, about 8,000 bucks.
- Seriously?
Wow, that's federal level.
- You know, um, I was really counting on it, too.
And they left me a little bit,
but not nearly enough to get
through my bills and everything.
Come on, Mister, you're making this much harder
than it needs to be.
Does anybody have any hand sanitizer, or...
- You need me to hold something else for you--
- No, it's just, like, really caked on here for some reason,
give me your hand.
- Maybe it was a misunderstanding,
the money in your mail thing.
- You know, I don't think so,
'cause I feel like I was pretty clear.
Yes, I was, wasn't I?
Mama was so clear.
- Hey, that make you want to try for a third?
- Hey, um,
what if I think I know who did it?
- Could file a report.
- Oh, can I do that with you?
- Yeah, sure, come on down to the station.
- Super. - Yeah.
- I just might do that.
- Come on, now, let's bring it home!
Come on, let's go!
[cheering]
- Well, it was really nice to meet you...
- You too. - Officer.
All right, let's go, come on!
- Wait, your diaper bag.
- Gonna need that before the day's over.
Thank you. Come on.
- Ooh, she is an odd bird.
- You have no idea.
.
- What does "Minions" mac and cheese taste like?
- Mac and cheese.
- What about "Ninja Turtles?"
- Mac and cheese.
- So...
- We gotta pay her! Now!
Before she ruins my damn life!
- What are you talking about?
- Mary Pat! She showed up to Sara's soccer game
and threatened to tell Stan.
- Wait, what? - What?
- Yeah, and if she tells him,
he's not gonna look the other way.
He's not Dean.
- No, he's a good person.
- He's a cop, you guys!
He'll leave me so fast he'll leave tread marks.
- Then we've got to get her her money.
- How? I'm working seven days a week,
doubles and graveyards, and I still can't afford
all the multiple genres of lawyers.
- You don't have to tell me!
- I hate to say it...
- Wow.
- What else are we gonna do?
- I'm just surprised that you want to rob something again.
- I don't want to.
- But you don't not want to.
- I want to stay ahead of a bad situation,
and I'm not just talking about the Mary Pat thing.
- Every cent I saved went
towards those damn hospital bills.
- Exactly, and my mortgage is paid now,
but what about next month?
- So what are we talking about here?
[suspenseful music]
- I was thinking something kind of low-stress,
like a 7/11.
- I can get behind that.
- Except for the one on Lynwood,
because I got him to sponsor the school.
- Good for you.
- Well, I'm out.
- You're out?
- It's just not a good time for me to get back into crime.
- Well, can we sync up iCals so I know when is?
- I'm facing a felony drug charge!
I gotta keep a low profile.
- Well, you bitches didn't ask me
if I wanted to kidnap a dude!
- That's true. - It's different.
- Well, now it's my turn, and I ain't asking!
♪
Come on!
♪
- You know what all this is?
- No.
- 'Cause your principal says that you and some girls
shoplifted this and tried to sell it at lunch.
- Hey, eyes up here.
- Is that true?
- No, I-- - Uh-uh.
- The other girls-- - Nope.
- I didn't-- - Try again.
- Will you please let her speak?
- Well? Speak!
- It's not mine.
- Then how did this box end up in your locker?
- She said it wasn't hers.
- So it just magically appeared?
Harry Potter style?
- Well, not all of it's mine.
- Damn it.
- Uh-uh. Keep talking.
- Kendall sells the makeup.
Madison does the candy.
And I...
I move the fidget spinners.
- You stole fidget spinners?
- She moved them, Stan.
Our child moves the fidget spinners!
- All right. Easy, now.
- Our child speaks the language of the streets!
- Why?
Baby, why would you do that?
- The other girls do it all the time.
- So if they jumped off a high-rise, you would do it?
Ran across a busy freeway? - Mom--
- Robbed a bank? - Okay, okay.
- Just because other girls do crazy, stupid-ass stuff
doesn't make it okay.
You wouldn't do those things,
so why in the hell would you do this?
- They used to make fun of the oxygen tank weirdo.
[melancholy music]
Now, they don't.
I'm dope.
- Stealing doesn't make you dope, Sara.
It just makes you a dope.
- She's right, you a dope!
Now, go to your bedroom, I need to talk to your mom.
Now.
[sighs]
You really need to get ahold of yourself, you're scaring her.
- Good.
- Babe, she messed up, okay?
Agreed.
- She didn't just mess up; she's a criminal.
- Strong word.
- Right word.
- I'm just saying, you know,
we gotta keep a level head here.
- You're a cop, for God's sake.
- Yeah, and before that, I was mall security,
and I saw kids do this stuff all the time.
Okay, it's just a phase, baby.
- Phases become habits, habits become problems.
And then suddenly, our little girl's giving
handies on the street for a fidget spinner!
- Oh my God.
You gotta breathe, okay?
Just, with me, now, take a deep breath.
- She's gotta return everything, all of it!
- No doubt.
- Apologize to the store owner. - She'll do that.
- Write letters to the teachers,
she's gonna wash the dishes for at least a month,
maybe six, she's gonna do the leaves!
- We will do whatever it takes,
just-- - Yeah.
- We will do whatever it takes.
- Yeah, we will.
- Oh, hi.
- Who is it?
- It's carol singers!
- It's a CD on a boombox.
It doesn't even sound like real carolers.
- Just suspend your disbelief.
["Silent Night" plays in movie]
- Not to state the obvious here,
but, uh, you're aware that's your best friend's wife,
right, dude? What? - Mom!
- I'm just saying.
Extremely wonderful cue cards or not,
he's a scumbag, and he shouldn't be hitting on her.
- Well, I mean, she's not innocent either.
She kisses him.
- You guys are maybe the worst people
to watch a movie with.
I'm gonna go do homework.
["Silent Night" continues]
- [sighs]
How you been?
- Fine. You?
- Fine.
- Great.
- What's new at work?
- Nothing much.
- Got me peeing into a cup.
- That sucks.
- Yeah.
Hey, you know what else sucks? - Hmm?
- Supervised visits with my own child.
- It's not my fault.
- Nothing ever is, is it?
♪
- Look, if you want to talk about it,
we should just talk about it.
- What do you want to talk about, Greg?
- You know what I want to talk about.
I want to talk about what happened.
If you want to talk about it,
let's talk about it like adults.
- [scoffs] Please. Why start now?
- Because this is--
Hey.
- Oh my God, did you get to the cue card scene yet?
Ugh, I love that part.
- I bet you do.
- Yeah, apparently, quite controversial.
- Really?
Oh, I wish I didn't have to go to work.
- Ugh, is there a zit only you can pop?
- [giggles]
Actually, we just opened a third location.
It's crazy, but I love helping women
feel good about themselves, so...
If you want, I could help you with that little divot
in your forehead there, just...
[smacks lips]
One shot.
- I'm good. - Okay.
Oh, actually, um...
Do you mind not leaning all the way back on the couch?
Sorry, I know it's weird,
it's just, um, your--
Your hair oils, they tend to get on the pillows.
- I'm sorry?
- I noticed it last week when you were here.
It's this-- it's this stupid fabric.
It is impossible to clean.
Yeah.
Normally, I would never say anything,
it's just the covers and the shams,
they're--they're new.
- It's just 'cause they're new.
- Yeah, we just bought them. - Mm.
- Okay, well, have so much fun, you guys.
- Mm-hmm.
- I love you, Mister Man.
- [sighs]
- I love you too! Okay.
Bye!
[knocking on door]
- Do you know what time it is?
- It's show time, baby.
Hey, have you ever heard of hair oils?
Is that like a thing people say?
I mean, it's definitely not, right?
- What is going on?
- We're not robbing no 7/11!
.
- You want to hit a day spa?
- She just opened a third location.
And I'm telling you, these places are flush.
I can't find your K-cups!
- Maybe it's the universe saying you've had enough.
- [gasps]
♪ Dark magic
- You know!
So won't Nancy see us?
- No, I signed her up to be Sadie's chaperone
on a field trip.
So, okay, check it.
All three mall locations have the exact same layout,
so I figure we split up,
and we hit them all simultaneously, you know?
Just like, boom, boom, boom!
- Hang on, boom, boom, boom.
What happened to "I have a felony drug charge?"
- Well, if we don't use guns,
is it even really a crime?
- Yeah.
- Or...
Is it a gentle redistribution of wealth?
- Plus, Nance has it coming.
- So, wait, how do we get past security if we don't have guns?
- These places don't have security,
they don't even have cameras.
- No cameras? - It's a spa.
Everybody's naked, yo!
- So?
- So I was thinking more along the lines of an ATM.
But suck it, Nance!
- Suck it, Nance!
["She's Got Guns" by The Go! Team [UK]]
♪
- ♪ He checks the ground while she takes the stairs ♪
♪ He got the flex but she has the flair ♪
♪ He got ego but she doesn't care ♪
♪ Got a problem, honey, go and take it over there ♪
♪ Flexing, she didn't come to play with toys ♪
♪ Fading, to the back while she bringing the bounce ♪
♪ Don't you know that she's got 'em ♪
♪ Tasting victory make a crowd wanna shout ♪
♪ When they see that she got 'em ♪
- ♪ Pick it up, pick it up
- ♪ She got guns that make you feel like a flop ♪
- ♪ Pick it up, pick it up
- ♪ Here she comes and now you be like, aaah ♪
- ♪ Work it out, work it out ♪
- ♪ She got guns that make you feel like a flop ♪
- ♪ Work it out, work it out ♪
♪ Making runs, you know she just don't stop ♪
- So where do they keep the cash?
- Everybody pays with credit cards.
- Then how do we get the money?
- Oh, we're not going after the money.
- ♪ Pick it up, pick it up ♪
- ♪ She got the guns that make you feel like a flop ♪
- ♪ Pick it up, pick it up ♪
- ♪ Here she comes and now you be like, aaah ♪
- ♪ From Detroit to the UK
♪ In the studio with the DYC
♪ From Detroit to the UK
♪ In the studio with the DYC
♪
- Smooth, right?
- Like taking candy from a baby.
Okay, where's Annie?
[tires screeching]
- Please insert ticket.
- I did insert my ticket, you dick.
[suspenseful music]
♪
[line trilling]
Come on!
Yeah, hi, your machine ate my ticket and I need to leave.
- You have reached the parking office.
No one is here to answer your call.
- [whimpering]
Oh, God.
[line trilling]
- She's not answering.
Come on, Annie.
[phone vibrating]
- You're insane!
- All I'm saying is I don't get the hype.
- But it's objectively good!
- You can't say something's objectively good.
At least "Miss Saigon" had a helicopter.
- Oh my God.
- It's a million songs at a desk.
I'm at a desk, yo, and I'm writing, yo.
[screams]
- Roll it down!
Come on!
- Please don't hurt us, we don't have any cash!
- I need your parking ticket!
- What? - What?
- Give me your parking ticket!
- Okay, okay. - Come on, hurry up!
- Right there. It's right there.
- Hurry up, hurry up!
All right, now, put your head between your legs,
and count to ten! - Okay.
- No, make it 20! - Okay!
[together] One, two, three...
- What'd you do? Stop for burgers?
- What are you, the punctuality police?
Jesus! Come on, let's just pool the loot.
- Here.
- Yo, A-Dawg.
- That's your connection?
- He looks like he just came from SAT prep.
- Chill, it's all been arranged.
'Sup, D-Man?
These are my colleagues.
- Yo.
- So what do you got?
- Before we talk business, I got a question.
How rich is rich enough for you?
- Depends. What are we talkin'? Like 401k rich?
Asset rich? Cash rich?
- Mm. Give me the dream.
- Oh, man.
Okay, well, uh...
Place on Nantucket with a catamaran,
couple show dogs, you know.
Pimpin' hard like Larry Ellison.
- Tight, tight.
Well, we'd like to help you get there.
- Hell yeah.
- What I've got in here is more addictive than oxy,
costs more per ounce than Bolivia's finest,
and is as pure as a glacier stream.
Feast your eyes.
- What am--what am I supposed to do with this?
- Move it, baby!
- I can't sell this junk.
- Wait. What?
- Okay,
look, my clientele isn't really into, um,
personal upkeep.
- I thought you talked to him, Annie.
- I thought it was pre-arranged.
- It was. Uh, Darren,
I'm not understanding what's changed
since our convo in the frozen foods aisle,
'cause you were in.
- You said injectables!
- These are injectables.
- I thought you meant heroin!
- Oh, no.
- Look, I wish I could help you,
it's just, you know, the cosmetic stuff,
not my jam.
- You sell allergy medication to people without allergies!
- Yeah, they use 'em to make meth!
- This shiz is medical grade!
People are gonna pay top dollar!
- I'm really sorry for the miscomm.
- Oh my God.
- [scoffs]
- Is this gonna make things weird between us at work?
- Yeah, maybe!
- Well, um, nice meeting you guys.
Just gonna--gotta go.
Bye.
♪
.
- What are we gonna do? We still owe that bitch eight g's.
- I wonder how much we can get for it.
- 30, maybe 40 grand.
- We got nothing, 'cause we can't unload it!
- So we hit a snag!
- Don't worry, done deal, piece of cake.
What am I leaving out?
- Easy peasy.
- I would never say "easy peasy."
So sue me, I didn't know it would come down
to drug dealer semantics.
- There is a difference between injectables
and injecting heroin.
- Well, this is how we learn.
- I can't believe you made us do this for nothing.
- Oh, I made you?
That's rich coming from you, Ms. "I ain't askin'."
And you, with your judge-y face
that I can feel from here,
I cannot!
'Cause we all know that this month has been killing you.
- It has not. - Oh!
You've been crawling out of your skin
like a frog in a slow boil, baby.
- She's not wrong.
- Oh, great. You too? Pile it on.
- Oh, it's all so banal,
the PTA, the playdates, the yoga!
Each day, the flame grows a little hotter.
- She's been missing that hood life!
- Right?
Peace.
- Whoa, whoa, wait, you're just gonna leave us here with this?
- You know what? I did my part.
You handle this.
[door opens]
- Wait, wait, wait, you're leaving too?
- I gotta haul Sara's fast ass down to the station
and scare her straight. - Why?
- 'Cause that little heifer has been slinging
stolen fidget spinners on the playground.
- Sara?
- Like mother, like daughter, I guess.
- Hey, you know that's not the reason why.
- Yeah, right.
Love you.
- Love you.
[door opens]
- So you just want me to scare her a little, right?
- I want you to put the fear of God in her.
Cuff her, Tase her, pepper spray,
whatever it takes.
- [laughs]
- I'm dead serious.
- Look, I get it.
I worry about my kid, too.
She's gonna be fine; you guys are great parents.
She has good role models.
- Yeah, right.
- You ready to see how this works?
- Do I have to?
- She's ready.
- You like bunk beds, Sara?
- Oh, she's been begging us for bunk beds.
Is that right?
- I want you to think of this as an opportunity
to grow during the downtime.
A chance to really flip your game,
in a way that, if it's not completely legal,
it is totally FDA-approved. - Mm-hmm.
- This is essentially liquid money.
I mean, it's literally liquid, but...
- It's garbage. This stuff's poison.
- Not any more so than the substances your guys deal.
- Who would I even sell it to?
- Don't you know someone?
- That rolls with a bunch of middle-aged ladies?
Nah, man, not so much.
How's your rotten egg?
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- You said you handled it.
- I did.
- Then why you trying to play me with this side-hustle stuff?
I told you, we're shut down.
- And I told you I have expenses.
I have four children, a mortgage,
I can't just shut down-- - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
She got you on the hook, now, right?
- I said I'm handling it!
- Okay.
[laughs]
You think you're a boss, now, huh?
Your lily ass does two jobs and all of the sudden,
you think you run the whole game?
Let me tell you something, you ain't no boss.
And on the real, you ain't gonna be nothing
till you get your house in order.
And you best not put that stuff in your face.
You don't need it.
- When you're in my house, you mind your business.
You're sharing your space with gang bangers, murderers,
people you don't want to mess with, let alone sleep next to.
- So they just put everyone in all together?
There's not like a separate white collar cell?
- One big melting pot.
- You okay, Mom?
- Yeah, you know, it's just hot in here.
- You got chow at 7:00,
clean up at 7:30, and then, you gotta shower.
- And what does she shower in?
- A group.
You make a circle, then rotate under the shower head.
- No, I meant, like, shower shoes?
- Your shoes are your shower shoes.
You don't want to get them wet?
You take your chances with the fungi,
and don't expect hot water neither.
- And what if she has to, um, use the--
- There's your bathroom,
your kitchen, your sink,
everything.
- Wait, so people just go right there?
Like, in front of everybody?
Even number--
- All the numbers.
And most of the time, there won't be toilet paper.
- Okay. Thank you, Denise, but I think--
I think she gets it.
- There are things you can do for a square,
but you don't want to.
- Yeah, well, we really need to get home.
- You're home with me, ladies!
[laughs]
Welcome home!
- Okay, we gotta get out of here.
- No can do! It's not rec time.
- Oh my God, let me out of here!
- Hey, how was your day?
- Has our credit rebounded enough to qualify for a loan?
- Well, we put a dent in our debt, that's for sure.
- Yes or no? - No.
Look, I know you don't want to tell me what's going on.
- I need cash fast.
- How much?
- 10 grand.
- Does that have anything to do with the many vials
of liquid hashish I just saw in the garage?
- It's not liquid hashish.
- Oh, well...
[clears throat]
What is it then?
Why don't you let me help you?
- I don't know that you can.
- Maybe not, but what do you got to lose?
[suspenseful music]
- Mr. Boland, I don't have you down for an appointment today.
- Hey, got a minute?
- I'm with a patient.
- It's slow-growing. You'll be fine.
How's that Buick treating you?
- Fine.
- You know any dermatologists?
- I can't believe it was all three!
You know, like, I would get it if it was just one, you know?
But...
Oh, God...
- Hey.
Want some more water?
- I'm just...
What are we gonna do?
I mean, 'cause I just...
Oh, no, um...
Of course. Yeah.
Sure. Um...
Thank you for letting me know.
Yeah, you too.
Okay, bye.
- Sorry, I was just gonna--
You okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- I mean, your insurance is gonna cover it, right?
- What are you talking about?
- Sadie told me you got robbed.
- [scoffs]
That's like the least of it.
Do I look like a total raccoon right now?
- No.
You look great.
- Oh my God, it's like--
Ugh, it's these hormones.
I'm, like, shooting up like a junkie.
And for nothing, because apparently,
I only make these, like,
crappy unicorn embryos
with, like, horns or something.
- How long have you been trying?
- This is, like, our fourth round,
or like, fifth, I honestly-- I can't even keep track
it's been so...
And I literally cannot stop crying.
I can't.
Stop! Stop! Stop!
[somber music]
.
- You're blocking me in!
- You're leaving? Why did you tell me to get extra anchovies?
- God. You're a dick.
- What?
- Just move your car, all right?
- Whoa, what the hell's wrong with you?
- How long have you been doing IVF?
- Oh, God. - Yeah!
- I was gonna tell you.
- When? Mid-bone?
- Oh, gross.
- You were having sex with me
while your wife was injecting herself full of baby hormones!
- I didn't plan on it, obviously,
it just, kind of--
happened, you were there!
- No, a solar eclipse just happens!
Two people decide to sleep with each other!
- What am I supposed to do?
Leave her and marry you? We tried that,
it didn't work, remember?
What do you want me to do, Annie?
- I want you to move your car.
[sighs]
- Door's open! Come in!
Okay, guys, ten more minutes, okay?
And then, it's homework time.
[baby fussing]
Hey.
Is it all there this time?
- It's all there.
- Can you hand--
Thanks.
I'm not an evil person, okay?
- Okay.
- It's just, um,
Jeff left me with, like,
a mountain of debt, so...
I have literally nothing to lose.
- Now you do.
[baby cries]
If we get caught, you're going down, too.
I think it's called an accessory.
- So why are you doing it?
- Same reason.
- You sure about that?
- Have you ever heard the theory
that they always look like daddy when they're born?
Some caveman evolution thing,
so men know it's theirs, and they don't leave.
- Well, this one's Jeff's twin, so...
- All four of mine looked exactly like Dean.
- Go figure.
- Stop it! - Mom, he hit me!
- Boys, homework, I swear to God!
- Well, you've got your hands full.
- Hey, listening ears, you want to put 'em on?
It's like I'm not even here.
- Imagine if you were in prison.
- Hey, Beth?
[baby crying]
I'll see you next month.
[indistinct chatter]
- So, uh, hey.
You think it worked?
- She got her wake-up. - Yeah?
[laughs]
Well, I'll tell you what--
ooh!
Listen, if she is half the woman
that I got in front of me right now,
she's gonna be something else.
- Will you chill? You are at work.
- What? Come on, we undercover.
We undercover. - So?
- Ain't nobody watching.
- What's that?
- I don't know, the guys busting my chops.
- I mean, who's the boy?
- Oh.
It's that fool we arrested.
- That's him? - Mm-hmm.
- He's young.
- Yeah, he's dumb, too.
He's ours, now.
- What does that mean?
- I don't know, he's part of some gang
that the feds got their eye on,
and, uh, we put him to work for the good guys.
- Cool.
Very cool.
- That's right.
It's all 'cause of your man.
- Hey, uh, you mind if I use the shower?
Kenny's got, like, a million action figures in the tub,
and I keep stepping on them.
- Sure. - Thanks.
- I'll be--I'll be quick, I promise.
- Hey.
How'd you unload all that stuff?
- Friend of a friend.
- Not gonna tell me, huh?
- No, I am not.
- I probably deserve that.
- You don't deserve anything I did to you.
- We wash counterfeit money for a gang.
We buy stuff with fake cash, and return it for real.
We get 12%.
But I'm gonna ask for 15% when we're up and running again,
because we're smart,
and we work hard, and we deserve it.
- [scoffs]
- Do you think I'm insane?
- I think you're incredible.
[doorbell rings]
- I'm gonna...
[dramatic music]
♪
- ♪ I'm your queen
♪ I'm the ruler of your every move ♪
♪ in my kingdom
- They have him!
- What?
- The kid--the gang banger.
The one bleeding up in Emma's room.
- Who has him? - The cops!
The FBI! And he's talking! He is talking to them!
- Wait, what?
- You guys, there's-- there's no toilet paper.
And you have to go right there in front of everyone.
My God! The place is literally for animals.
Oh, and drink up,
because jail wine-- [gags]
jail wine is brewed in a toilet
with ketchup and bread!
- Bread?
- Bread is where I threw you?
The toilet you're good with?
- The toilet I understand,
because have to have somewhere to put the--
- Bread is yeast, so it ferments.
We have to tell Rio.
- You don't think he knows?
- That his boy is talking to the FBI?
No way!
- If we tell him, he will kill him.
I mean, right? That's how they do.
- Okay, so we don't tell Rio.
- No, we do.
We have to.
It's that kid or us.
- ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
♪ I'm a soldier
♪ I'm on my own, yeah
♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
♪ Oh-oh-oh, yeah
♪ It's every woman for herself ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
♪ I'm a soldier
♪ I'm on my own, yeah
♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
♪ Oh-oh-oh, yeah
♪ It's every woman for herself ♪
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