We got a mutual friend turns out.
He's talking to the feds now.
So, I'm gonna need you to handle that.
You are ratting out a gang,
you think they're gonna let you talk?
You gotta disappear for good. How much?
20,000.
I took a payday loan.
I used your check as collateral
and forged your name.
We'll figure it out.
He said there's someone else.
They're out of cinnamon, so...
Hey, stupid bitch. Open the damn door.
Ooh.
It was an accident.
Where did you, um, put it?
We have a... a meat freezer.
Who keeps calling this dude?
It's Marion.
If you would just give me
a quick ring when you get in.
I just can't get to sleep.
I'm worried about Leslie.
I didn't know who else I could talk to, so...
What's going on?
I think something bad happened.
Three!
Okay, let's just go.
What is on tap for you today?
Just the usual:
Groceries, carpool, dry cleaning.
What, no book club?
- No. - Oh.
What, a bad pick this month?
You know, just some crime thriller.
Got.
That's pretty funny.
There she is. How does it feel?
We gotta celebrate.
You did it, you're a boss now.
Hey, can we get a couple, uh...
What's your poison, huh?
Like a... like a summer rosé or something?
It's 10:00 in the morning.
The lady will take a crisp chardonnay.
Thank you, I'm not staying.
You're sure?
I'm giving you the keys to the kingdom here.
Why?
I'm out.
I'm done, man, time for something new.
No, why me?
I think you could be something.
I don't wanna be something.
No?
What you wanna be then, huh?
A fireman? Astronaut?
I don't know.
A good person.
No, you're way more interesting than that.
You don't know me.
I think I do.
I don't drink rosé.
Can we get a bourbon on the rocks?
If you change your mind... I won't.
Kingdom's in your name.
And don't throw the bacon grease out, dear.
I cook with that. Got it.
Hey, what's this stuff?
Oh, that's for Leslie. He does my finances.
This one says "final notice."
Well, he'll iron it out.
Marion, this says you're being evicted.
Oh, he'll fix all that.
Gesture of congratulations. Twelve letters.
Well...
What if he can't fix it?
Just 'cause, you know, he's not around right now.
Well, he's gonna come back.
He has to. He does everything for me.
Pat on the back.
I'm sorry?
Gesture of congratulations. Twelve letters.
Well, look at you, Ms. Smarty-Pants!
That's what they call me.
What's going on?
Um, homeless shelter, youth home, church pantry.
Spread the Joy Detroit only wants PB&J.
Now, I'm all for a theme, but really?
The homeless get to be picky now?
You okay?
I'm a smart man.
Okay.
You know, I'm talking common sense,
"I know some bull when I see it" smart.
Uh-huh.
But there I stood in the Qwik Ca$h line,
uniform and everything.
Ready to tell these fools that even though we might look
like every person that walks through that door,
that's not who we are, right?
- That's right. - That's right.
And they can save their crap for the next Joe
with "sucker" written on his forehead,
'cause I'm not the one.
Not today.
What happened?
I walked out.
Stanley.
With a second loan to cover the first one.
Stanley Lamont Hill, we just got another EOB.
I think I might have even said "thank you."
Oh, my... what are we gonna do?
You might wanna keep that corn.
You have to spend money to make money.
You know, these bank people, they just don't understand.
How does this happen again?
It's called an investment, you know?
Oh, my God.
It's gonna take a minute.
I took my eye off the ball,
I was learning to walk again, shoot me.
Oh, wait...
Oh, my God.
It looks a lot worse than what it is.
They are taking everything.
Yeah, but we still have the 'Vette.
That is one car.
Yes, but I'm gonna sell that 'Vette,
and I'm gonna take the money and get some fresh blood.
Right? And then it's Halloween,
and we have all those fall promos and the Spooktacular.
The people love the Spooktacular.
We're gonna move...
I have to show you guys something.
I know.
Fake?
Yeah.
And he doesn't want a cut?
Nope.
How much?
A lot.
So, I'm thinking we just wash a little, right?
Just to dig us out...
How long?
What?
How long have you had this?
Not that long.
This right here...
So, you just... you weren't gonna tell us, or?
This is 20 grand.
Well, I'm telling you now.
Yeah, now that you're in trouble.
Are you serious right now?
"Are you serious right now?"
60 G's right here.
There's no point, I tried counting it for weeks.
Hold up.
Did you just say "weeks"?
I was trying to protect you.
From what?
From being rich and happy?
We got this by killing a man.
We didn't kill anyone.
No.
We just threw him away.
In a trash bin, like an old, dirty futon.
So, we wash what we need,
and... and then we burn the rest.
Do you wanna know what I think?
You're not the boss of me.
Yeah.
Okay.
Hi. I have some returns.
- All of it? - Yeah.
The bride got cold feet last minute.
You wouldn't believe the drama.
All I can tell you is the next time
someone asks me to be in their wedding,
the answer is no.
Just need to see your ID.
Why?
I-I have the receipt.
Our return policy's changed.
Since when?
About a month ago.
Oh.
Mrs. Hill?
Is there a problem?
We know what you've been doing.
Southfield, Sterling Heights,
Livonia, Pontiac,
Allen Park.
You've engaged in a coordinated pattern
of buying and returning all over Southeastern Michigan.
You wanna charge me with something,
you go right ahead, little man.
'Cause my lawyer's gonna be so far up
that tight little ass of yours.
Beth.
Hi, I meant to ask after soccer,
where did we land on the...
I put you on desserts with Sandy.
We... we can talk about this later.
Root beer floats, diet for the teachers
and three dozen cupcakes... no plastic toppers.
And everything's gotta be nut-free.
I bet you feel like some big, strong, manly man.
Like a real cool dude harassing his loyal customers.
Like some kind of pathetic, little dick-ass...
You're not being arrested.
Oh.
You just can't shop here anymore.
Oh...
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
What the hell, Annie?
What do you want from me?
I want you to return a text.
Well, I have a lot going on right now.
Yeah, me too.
Hey, you know your wife?
Your pregnant wife? Yeah, she knows.
Yeah, I'm aware, thank you.
So, I think it's pretty much game over, okay?
Can't sink any lower.
Well, how's this for low?
Don't.
I wanna be with you.
- No. - Yes.
I wanna leave my pregnant wife...
- Shh, shh, shh, shh. - And I wanna just be with you
and just...
I wanna drink peppermint schnapps
and just look at you for a while.
You don't get to do that.
You know what I've always loved about you?
Please don't.
Your eyebrows.
You do not.
I do.
I can't get enough of them.
Wait, what are you doing with all this stuff?
Selling it.
Hey, wanna buy a Vitamix?
I'm living in a motel.
Yeah but it spins so fast, it can make soup.
Oh.
Huh?
Let me know what you wanna do.
What you doing?
Just crying at my screensaver.
As you do.
Right?
I mean, look at that.
- Tiny humans. - So cute.
I'm so sorry.
I know.
I really blew it... again.
Come here.
- No. - It all has to be anonymous.
There's no way in hell.
You'll use a fake name.
Do you remember when I had a penis?
'Cause I don't. Dean.
What was it like? Was it nice?
I seem to recall it had
something to do with making children.
- Okay. - What?
The guy shot me, Beth. I know that.
And now you wanna use his money to pay our bills.
This is our way out.
With his dirty-ass money.
It's my money.
Oh, yeah? What'd you do for it?
A job.
Is that what we're calling it now?
Believe me, I earned it.
Look, if you could just give me a little more time.
For what, Dean?
To sell the 'Vette?
I could come up with plan B.
We passed plan B, years ago.
This is it, honey. This is what's left.
I hate that guy.
I hate his money.
Dean.
This isn't money yet.
You have to make it money.
How?
You do what you're good at.
You sell cars.
I got 10 G's of espresso machines up on eBay.
Wanna sit?
I'm about to roll up to the freeway
and sell this shizz outta my trunk.
I did something.
I literally get hives every time you say that.
That's why I asked you to sit.
You know what would help?
If you just led with what you did
instead of letting my mind run wild.
I gave Dean the money.
He'll buy with fake and sell for real,
and we'll take a cut.
Cars for cash?
What do you think?
How much did you give him?
More than a little.
She's gonna lose her mind.
Well, it's just paper if we can't wash it.
All right.
- Okay, maybe don't tell her. - Hey, she's your sister.
I know, but I hate asking you to lie.
Again, we threw a man away.
We're still gonna burn the rest.
You think he can handle it?
It's what he does.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
This is a 3.6 liter V6.
What's the difference?
Oh, well, about 60 horsepower.
Okay.
I can always sell you a bigger car,
but my job is to get you what you need.
How much do I need for it just to drive regular?
Excuse me, Mr. B, I got a bite on that 'Vette.
Ooh, if you'll excuse me, I'll be right back.
Okay? Okay.
It's gonna be okay. Mommy's gonna get you.
I have the same car, here.
Thank you.
Do you like it?
I mean, for me, it's perfect.
How many horses or whatever did you get?
I think somewhere between zero and I really don't care.
But this is what I love about it.
This comes right down...
And you can put your stroller there.
- Oh, cool. - And see that latch?
It's a new system for baby seats,
which makes it super easy when your hands are full, which is...
Always.
Oh, and the cup holders,
they're right where you need 'em for sippies and stuff.
And there's even one on the dash that pops out.
You think I could take it for a test drive?
I actually don't work here, but...
I can't... I can't let you do that.
I just talked to my guy in financing,
and the best bang for your buck is that bad boy
right over there, not the minivan.
Same sticker price, but it's twice the car under the hood.
You know, I gotta get this one home.
I understand. Here, um, think about it.
There's my card.
You know, talk to your husband.
Thanks for coming by Boland Motors.
Oh.
That was... that was nice of Gloria to visit.
They brought coleslaw and stayed for five minutes.
Still, I'm really glad
you got to meet your great grandchild.
Well, that's one of us.
Oh, get that, would you? I've got something in the oven.
Why are you doing this?
She's got two days left, okay?
What is wrong with you?
It's the building, not me.
Look, I will get you the money for her, okay?
I just need a little more time.
We've already given her six months.
No but her... her grandson pays her rent.
Not for the better part of a year.
Son of a bitch.
- Hey. - How'd we do?
Uh, great. Yeah, really, really great.
Yeah?
Yeah, so many test drives, you know?
How many?
You know, everyone wanted, uh, they wanted a selfie.
No, how many did he sell?
I wouldn't be surprised if Boland Motors
was trending right now.
You know, we got so many bites.
Yeah, and it's all about social media, you know?
Getting our name out there, you know, and building a buzz.
And balloons... You know, thing is,
people totally underestimate
the power of balloons.
So, that's some gorilla, huh?
Yeah, you can see it from the highway,
really draws 'em in.
How much did it cost?
You can't really judge these things by the numbers.
Right.
Trust me, I got it.
It's going great.
Please don't be mad at me.
Okay.
I really messed up.
Okay.
I mean, the man is made of excuses.
I mean, the first time we almost went under,
he blamed the housing crisis.
Wait, I thought it was 9/11.
You know what?
You're right, he used that too.
Yeah.
And then, of course, there were the California wildfires.
You know, "Nobody's buying cars."
- In Detroit. - Mm-mm.
Like, it literally made no sense,
and I fully bought it.
And Brexit? I mean...
He never used Brexit.
Why do I still want him to have the answer?
Hmm...
Because he's a man.
We really have to stop doing that.
To be fair, it's not entirely his fault.
That's, like, the nicest thing
you've ever said about him.
I mean, he's Dean. He's Deansie.
He's never gonna not be Dean.
He is what he is.
He's Dean.
I don't know anything about cars.
I mean, I didn't know anything about
robbing a grocery store either.
- What? - I'm just surprised.
What, I can't take you to dinner?
Are you kidding me?
Yes, of course you can take me out to dinner.
This is... it's amazing.
Dean.
Beth...
I think the dealership could be great again.
Yeah, me too.
No, I mean, really great.
Yeah, sure, me too.
I have a few ideas.
Can I get you something to drink?
Uh, we will take a look at a wine list.
Perfect.
- So, I was thinking today... - Hold on a second.
Excuse me, real quick. What's your special tonight?
Fresh mussels cooked in a white wine broth,
served alongside grilled bread.
- Ooh. - Mmm.
- Be right back with that list. - Thank you.
So, I know you love the sports car stuff...
Mm-hmm.
And that is fun and great,
but I think that we're ignoring 51% of the population.
Special sounds good, right? Yeah?
If we start catering more towards women,
I think we could really increase our sales.
We wouldn't have to reinvent the wheel or anything,
I mean, we could have child care
for when women are shopping.
Huh.
Could have a car seat guy
come and do installs on the lot.
Oh, look, they have the barbecued short ribs.
I don't think they had that the last time we were...
Dean.
I'm sorry. Sorry.
Okay. Cater to women.
What do you think?
I think that you were awesome this week.
You killed it. Yeah?
I mean, you moved more cars than our top guy, so...
- Really? - Yes, it was incredible.
It was amazing.
And the thing is, I would never tell you
how to raise the kids, right?
Like, you... so, you make those sandwiches,
those cute, little sandwiches with the face
and the little olives, right?
For eyes, and I think that you use a cookie cutter.
And I would never, like, in a million years
think about using a cookie cutter for a sandwich.
I think "cookie cutter" and I just think "cookies."
We are a great team.
Why's that?
Because we both have our own, you know, superpower.
Why would you wanna wreck that?
Oh, hey, you wanna do, like, a bottle of chard?
Bourbon on the rocks.
Next.
Ruby Hill, account number four-six-eight-two-nine.
All right.
It looks like you got a partial payment due of...
What's that?
My principal, my interest, my service fees,
my dignity, my happiness, and my soul.
You, sir, have a nice day.
I'll see you next month.
Oh, I won't be coming back.
Everyone comes back.
Everyone except me.
Whatever.
Get a good look, homie, 'cause you will
never see this face again.
Okay. But I will.
But you won't.
- I think I will. - I know you won't.
Excuse me, are you finished?
- How much? - I'm sorry?
How much do you need?
Um, 200 for my son's prescription.
Happy birthday.
- Thank you. - Hey, no, you can't do that.
Watch me.
Welcome to the bank of Ruby.
Let me see what you got.
I feel like this should cover it.
Happy Chanukah.
Hey, stop it.
How 'bout you?
No hablo Inglés.
Feliz Navidad.
Gracias.
De nada. I could do this all day!
No, you not gonna do it all day.
You better get up out of here!
Oh... did you want me to leave?
I don't ever wanna see you back in here.
Deal.
Okay, so, you're on auto-pay now.
So they will just deduct all your monthly expenses,
you know, your cable and your rent...
What about my permanents?
Well, I will make sure that there's padding
for a monthly salon visit...
I go weekly with Gladis and the girls.
Weekly it is.
Okay, here you go.
And I will pick you up bright and early.
What for now?
For the eye doc.
Do I have to?
Gotta get those cataracts checked.
I really don't want that surgery.
Girl, it's happening.
He was stealing from me, wasn't he?
I'll see you tomorrow, Mer.
So good.
So you wanna... You wanna go home?
No.
How'd you find this place?
A friend.
It is, like, super dope.
I'm gonna get one more.
Hi, can I just grab a... another...
Hi, excuse me. Hi, can I get, um...
Excuse me, miss? Just need a...
Service lacks a little professionalism.
Hi, can I grab another...
- I'll be right back. - Oh, okay.
You can't see a thing in here.
Mind if I stop at the drugstore?
Not at all.
I'll just run in.
Sure.
Need anything?
Just detergent and toothpaste.
You know, it's no fun drinking alone.
Nah, I'm lying, it kinda is.
Babe, I thought we were saving that.
Oh, you want a special occasion?
All right, well, how 'bout... your boy here
is getting his job back as mall security.
- You hate that gig. - Mm-hmm.
And I'm gonna be hating it part-time nights and weekends.
There's no way in hell.
No, no, no, don't kill the vibe, woman.
Drink.
You're never gonna be a mall cop again.
What is this?
Wait, you paid the whole thing off?
Sure did.
With what money?
I'll tell you later.
You rob a store?
I'll tell you tomorrow.
What did you do for it?
Don't kill the vibe. Drink.
Look, you think you love my eyebrows,
but that's just because your wife
plucked hers to death and now she doesn't have any left.
So, to you, they're, like, this hot, exotic fantasy.
But Greg, one day, you're gonna wake up
and you're gonna look at me, and they're not gonna be
this hot, exotic fantasy.
They're just gonna be eyebrows.
Like, you won't even see 'em on my face anymore.
Um... you still wanna go get tacos?
We've been here before.
You know, we know how this ends.
How does it end?
Total carnage.
Probably.
Like "Scarface" level carnage.
Which is still the best movie ever.
I can't.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
Me too.
Guys, I swear to God, you have to change
your underwear before school, okay?
It's super gross.
Hi. Bad time?
Yeah... I mean, always, but come on in.
Do you want some coffee or something?
So, I've been thinking about what you said...
You know what? Never mind.
I think I don't have any, so...
- I'm fine. - Okay.
W... what... what did I say?
About Leslie seeming nervous right before he went missing.
Oh, yeah, I said that. Yeah... yep.
Um... You got a lot going on.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm hungry.
Okay, can... can you give me just a second, okay?
Thank you.
So, Leslie...
Right, yeah.
Yeah, he seemed really, like, um, you know, freaked out.
Like he... like, thought someone
was out to get him or something.
Was it this guy?
- Um... - Can we have popsicles?
- I don't know. - Mom.
Honey, I can't, I'm busy.
Can you go look yourself, please?
So, have you seen this guy with Leslie?
Uh, who... who is he?
Well, he's someone we've had our eye on.
Oh, you think maybe he has something to...
I don't know where they are.
Honey, they're probably in the freezer.
- No, they're not. - I'm sorry, I need to go.
You took 'em out when you put Daddy in there.
So where are they?
The money's gone.
He took it back.
Why?
He flipped his game.
Yo, so, I'm sitting here, right?
I'm trying to figure out who would buy a neon 'Vette
with ostrich interior,
and I think I finally figured it out.
Nobody.
What are you doing?
You didn't tell him yet?
Tell me what?
You didn't tell him, huh?
No.
Oh, come on, Ma, it's too good.
Tell me what, Beth?
Don't.
We're partners now.
What is he talking about?
I'm gonna provide the capital,
and you're gonna wash it with these cheesy-ass buckets.
That wasn't the deal.
Oh, what you need, a memo?
All right, here you go, new deal.
Now I take 30%, cool?
You can go to hell.
All right.
Okay.
No, no, no, no, no.
- No, no, no, don't! - Don't!
Jesus.
40%.
I'm calling the cops.
You can't, Dean, you can't.
Son of a bitch!
- 50? - Stop it!
Take it up with HR, yeah?
Who is HR?
Me.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
You can have whatever you want, just stop!
Sixty percent?
Fine.
Now, let's go make some money.
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