1 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:56,280 Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com 2 00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:06,759 Greetings. Thank you. 3 00:01:11,930 --> 00:01:13,831 Thank you so much. 4 00:01:13,831 --> 00:01:17,168 Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. 5 00:01:17,168 --> 00:01:19,103 Thank you, thank you. 6 00:01:19,103 --> 00:01:23,808 Welcome to The Grand Tour. And in this week's programme: 7 00:01:25,444 --> 00:01:27,379 I drive a saloon car. 8 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:33,752 James drives a catering lorry. 9 00:01:35,020 --> 00:01:37,921 And Richard has a knife fight. 10 00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:39,890 Let's dance. 11 00:01:41,394 --> 00:01:43,927 That is all to come, but first of all, 12 00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:46,997 let me talk you through where we are. It's South Africa. 13 00:01:46,998 --> 00:01:50,301 Over there, in the distance, you can see Johannesburg. 14 00:01:50,301 --> 00:01:55,006 But this place here is called The Cradle of Humankind. 15 00:01:55,007 --> 00:01:58,042 Now it's called that because archaeologists have determined 16 00:01:58,043 --> 00:02:03,415 it was on this very spot that mankind separated from the ape. 17 00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:05,683 Ahem. 18 00:02:08,853 --> 00:02:10,287 Well, I mean... 19 00:02:12,625 --> 00:02:14,425 See? We haven't even begun. 20 00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:15,793 - What? - Be reasonable. 21 00:02:15,794 --> 00:02:18,228 You've learnt to put socks on, 22 00:02:18,229 --> 00:02:19,764 but other than that, mate... 23 00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,799 Listen, I'm trying to be profound here, OK? 24 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,735 - Carry on, carry on. - I'm trying to be profound. 25 00:02:23,735 --> 00:02:25,469 Because this is ground zero. 26 00:02:25,471 --> 00:02:27,972 This is where all of human history began. 27 00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:31,543 Anyone who comes here, it's like coming home. 28 00:02:31,544 --> 00:02:33,444 - Jeremy. - What? 29 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:36,848 How long has it taken some of us to evolve from being apes? 30 00:02:36,848 --> 00:02:39,150 It's taken 31 00:02:39,151 --> 00:02:42,454 two million and a hundred... 32 00:02:49,828 --> 00:02:53,699 You at home may be wondering why everybody here is applauding, 33 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:59,203 but it's because while the rest of mankind 34 00:02:59,204 --> 00:03:02,939 has managed to grasp the concept of arithmetic, 35 00:03:02,941 --> 00:03:05,977 the President of South Africa, Jacob Zuma... 36 00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:08,079 Well, how can I put this? He sort of hasn't. 37 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:11,147 I've got a clip here to show you what I'm on about. 38 00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:15,820 We announce that our membership figures 39 00:03:17,021 --> 00:03:21,358 stood at... 769, 40 00:03:21,359 --> 00:03:23,193 eight-hundred and... 41 00:03:25,864 --> 00:03:27,397 700... 42 00:03:28,901 --> 00:03:30,668 Listen properly. 43 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:36,007 769 thousand, 44 00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:39,009 820... 45 00:03:44,783 --> 00:03:47,520 I mean, honestly. 46 00:03:49,086 --> 00:03:51,421 The funny thing is... 47 00:03:51,423 --> 00:03:54,891 Jacob Zuma is a bit of a controversial figure here. 48 00:03:54,893 --> 00:03:57,528 He recently installed a swimming pool at his home. 49 00:03:57,530 --> 00:04:01,198 And then, because he'd used taxpayers' money to do that, 50 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:05,969 he said it was actually a water storage facility in case of a fire. 51 00:04:05,971 --> 00:04:08,872 So, in other words, if he burst into flames, 52 00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:11,008 he can jump into it and put himself out 53 00:04:11,009 --> 00:04:15,346 in ten hundred and... three hundred... seconds. 54 00:04:15,347 --> 00:04:16,581 He has also bought himself 55 00:04:16,581 --> 00:04:18,348 what he claims is a fire engine. 56 00:04:18,350 --> 00:04:20,151 Nice. 57 00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,654 He's also got himself an ambulance. 58 00:04:23,656 --> 00:04:26,757 Yep. Can't be too careful. 59 00:04:26,759 --> 00:04:29,060 Motoring in South Africa. 60 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,394 Big problem here, of course, is the wildlife, 61 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:34,098 because how do you accurately warn motorists 62 00:04:34,098 --> 00:04:36,733 that there may be a deer-y thing ahead 63 00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:39,136 and it could be full of helium? 64 00:04:40,271 --> 00:04:41,939 Well, the authorities have had a go. 65 00:04:41,939 --> 00:04:43,841 They've come up with this as a sign. 66 00:04:43,841 --> 00:04:47,411 It's not bad, except they've got the word wrong. 67 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,316 What? 68 00:04:52,317 --> 00:04:53,718 It's wrong, isn't it? 69 00:04:53,718 --> 00:04:55,418 - It's not baboons. - No, it's not. 70 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:58,122 We're from England. We know that's not a baboon. 71 00:04:59,725 --> 00:05:02,425 Baboons are actually very dangerous here. 72 00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:06,396 Certainly, they've got a better idea 73 00:05:06,398 --> 00:05:09,466 of how to handle a gun than the local police. 74 00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:15,072 He's actually using that as a shooting stick. 75 00:05:15,072 --> 00:05:17,040 Shall we get on with the show? 76 00:05:17,042 --> 00:05:19,610 - Yes, good idea. Good plan. - Yes, let's. 77 00:05:19,612 --> 00:05:21,077 And we start with Aston Martin. 78 00:05:21,079 --> 00:05:23,447 The company must have had a meeting recently 79 00:05:23,447 --> 00:05:24,949 and the bosses must have said, 80 00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:26,283 "It's gonna be a few years now 81 00:05:26,283 --> 00:05:27,985 "until the next Bond film is out, 82 00:05:27,985 --> 00:05:30,021 "so what are we gonna do at Aston Martin 83 00:05:30,021 --> 00:05:32,255 to generate some headlines in the meantime?" 84 00:05:32,257 --> 00:05:34,158 And what they must have decided is, 85 00:05:34,158 --> 00:05:36,427 to make a car that is as good as a car can be. 86 00:05:36,427 --> 00:05:38,696 They weren't talking about making a racing car 87 00:05:38,697 --> 00:05:39,930 because in racing there are rules 88 00:05:39,932 --> 00:05:41,733 about how big the engine can be 89 00:05:41,733 --> 00:05:43,334 and what sort of tyres you can use. 90 00:05:43,334 --> 00:05:45,201 And they weren't talking about making a road car, 91 00:05:45,202 --> 00:05:48,105 that would have to meet emissions regulations, 92 00:05:48,105 --> 00:05:50,675 have comfy rubber bits in the suspension. 93 00:05:50,675 --> 00:05:52,308 And all that stuff would slow it down. 94 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:53,978 Exactly. They wanted to make a car 95 00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:56,648 that adhered to no rules and no regulations. 96 00:05:56,649 --> 00:05:58,716 So they have. 97 00:06:07,793 --> 00:06:10,663 This is what they came up with. 98 00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:20,673 It costs £1.8 million. 99 00:06:21,939 --> 00:06:24,309 And it's called the Vulcan. 100 00:06:26,778 --> 00:06:29,014 Spectacular, isn't it? 101 00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:35,954 But not very practical. 102 00:06:55,507 --> 00:06:57,307 Oh, God. Ow! 103 00:06:57,308 --> 00:06:59,276 Agh! 104 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,615 Hold on... Nope. 105 00:07:05,617 --> 00:07:08,519 How are you...? 106 00:07:08,519 --> 00:07:09,721 No. 107 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,355 Agh! 108 00:07:11,355 --> 00:07:14,091 Now I'm totally stuck. 109 00:07:15,793 --> 00:07:17,494 Oh, yeah. 110 00:07:18,963 --> 00:07:21,932 You will be able to edit this out, won't you? 111 00:07:21,934 --> 00:07:23,901 I don't want people thinking I'm fat. 112 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,338 Right. I'm gonna pop it into gear now. 113 00:07:28,339 --> 00:07:30,742 You may hear this a little bit. 114 00:07:36,281 --> 00:07:37,814 Good. First. 115 00:07:37,816 --> 00:07:40,117 Er... foot on clutch. 116 00:07:40,117 --> 00:07:44,923 And now it's time to fire up the seven-litre V12. 117 00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:05,141 It's quite normal. 118 00:08:15,788 --> 00:08:20,391 When I got going, things didn't get much better. 119 00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:28,564 Even at slow speeds, it is quite loud in here, 120 00:08:28,565 --> 00:08:31,869 which is why I'm wearing this silly face microphone 121 00:08:31,870 --> 00:08:34,938 so you can hear what I'm on about. 122 00:08:34,940 --> 00:08:39,342 The noisiest part of this car, however, is not the engine. 123 00:08:46,451 --> 00:08:48,318 That's the brakes. 124 00:08:50,022 --> 00:08:52,323 They are quite... They are quite squeaky. 125 00:08:56,561 --> 00:08:59,831 It actually sounds like I'm stamping on a piglet. 126 00:09:01,933 --> 00:09:05,836 And things get worse when you put your foot down. 127 00:09:11,943 --> 00:09:14,245 I'm not going to say that it's like 128 00:09:14,245 --> 00:09:17,447 being attacked by a bear because it isn't. 129 00:09:17,448 --> 00:09:20,884 But it is like being in a room with a bear 130 00:09:20,885 --> 00:09:23,855 that's thinking of attacking you. 131 00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:29,025 At the moment I've turned the engine down on this knob here 132 00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:30,861 to its minimum setting. 133 00:09:30,863 --> 00:09:34,131 It's only producing 500 horsepower. 134 00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:39,202 So it's not really the speed that's scary. 135 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,937 Oh, God! 136 00:09:40,938 --> 00:09:43,440 It's the noise and the harshness 137 00:09:43,441 --> 00:09:45,476 and the vibrations. 138 00:09:50,148 --> 00:09:52,716 It's not a very well-equipped car either. 139 00:09:52,716 --> 00:09:55,751 The windows don't wind down, for instance. 140 00:09:55,753 --> 00:09:57,922 There are no toys at all. 141 00:09:57,923 --> 00:10:01,225 And you only get half a steering wheel. 142 00:10:05,029 --> 00:10:07,331 However, there is one amazing thing 143 00:10:07,331 --> 00:10:10,234 you get for your £1.8 million. 144 00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:14,404 An all-expenses-paid trip to a racetrack of your choice, 145 00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:16,240 where an Aston Martin test driver 146 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,542 will teach you how to drive your car, 147 00:10:18,543 --> 00:10:21,979 not with the engine wound down to 500 horsepower, 148 00:10:21,980 --> 00:10:24,847 but with it turned up... 149 00:10:24,849 --> 00:10:26,551 ...to the max. 150 00:10:37,861 --> 00:10:40,999 Holy cow! Ha-ha-ha! 151 00:10:45,202 --> 00:10:50,274 The engine is now producing 820 horsepower. 152 00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:54,879 And the speed just beggars belief. 153 00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,415 The bear is in attack mode. 154 00:11:00,585 --> 00:11:06,423 The figures say it'll do 0-60 in 2.9 seconds. 155 00:11:06,423 --> 00:11:11,495 And has a top speed of 208 with that wing on the back. 156 00:11:11,495 --> 00:11:14,999 But it feels a hell of a lot faster than that. 157 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,235 Oh, God! 158 00:11:25,210 --> 00:11:27,211 The other thing you get for your money 159 00:11:27,211 --> 00:11:29,014 is a squadron of mechanics. 160 00:11:31,849 --> 00:11:35,687 But sadly... not a handbrake. 161 00:11:37,455 --> 00:11:39,523 Right, what I've done now is I've taken... yes... 162 00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:41,857 I've taken the steering wheel off, 163 00:11:41,859 --> 00:11:44,996 so I can't put it in gear to stop it rolling away. 164 00:11:45,998 --> 00:11:48,599 Oh, God. 165 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,734 Agh. 166 00:11:50,735 --> 00:11:52,669 Argh, argh... 167 00:11:56,140 --> 00:11:58,442 When I'd finally got it to stop, 168 00:11:58,442 --> 00:12:03,279 the jacks were deployed and the mechanics set to work. 169 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,816 That's the thing about the Vulcan. 170 00:12:05,817 --> 00:12:08,585 Wing angle, roll bar, suspension, brakes. 171 00:12:08,586 --> 00:12:14,024 Everything can be adjusted to suit your personal taste. 172 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:17,293 After ten minutes of pretending I knew what they were doing, 173 00:12:17,294 --> 00:12:19,563 I was back on the track. 174 00:12:23,067 --> 00:12:28,173 And the car felt... just as bonkers as it had done before. 175 00:12:29,907 --> 00:12:33,445 However, I've changed. 176 00:12:34,946 --> 00:12:37,581 I've been driving this thing now, 177 00:12:37,581 --> 00:12:39,482 I don't know, three or four hours, 178 00:12:39,484 --> 00:12:42,519 and I'm starting to... understand it. 179 00:12:42,519 --> 00:12:44,322 I'm starting to get used to it. 180 00:12:45,822 --> 00:12:48,059 I'm starting to trust it. 181 00:12:49,126 --> 00:12:52,263 Now I'm starting to understand... 182 00:12:52,264 --> 00:12:54,130 why the Vulcan can go round 183 00:12:54,131 --> 00:12:57,467 the Nardo handling circuit in southern Italy 184 00:12:57,469 --> 00:13:03,073 nine seconds faster than the McLaren P1. 185 00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:07,644 Nine seconds in car time, that's a year! 186 00:13:13,150 --> 00:13:15,119 You get phenomenal mechanical grip 187 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,087 in the low-speed corners, 188 00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:18,855 and then, on the Isn't Straight, 189 00:13:18,855 --> 00:13:21,424 you've got a ton-and-a-half of downforce, 190 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,561 thanks to its aerodynamics. 191 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:31,302 Then you have the power from the engine, 192 00:13:31,302 --> 00:13:35,105 which feels, well, old-fashioned. 193 00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,639 Proper. 194 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:39,875 I'm surprised it doesn't have carburettors. 195 00:13:39,876 --> 00:13:43,615 I love this thing very much. 196 00:13:48,153 --> 00:13:49,885 And what I love most of all 197 00:13:49,886 --> 00:13:52,022 is that it's not a test bed. 198 00:13:52,023 --> 00:13:56,126 It's not an example of what cars will be like in the future. 199 00:13:56,128 --> 00:14:00,365 It's a celebration of what they were like in the past. 200 00:14:01,432 --> 00:14:04,134 What it is... 201 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,303 is old time rock'n'roll. 202 00:14:11,143 --> 00:14:13,443 Thank you, thank you. 203 00:14:13,445 --> 00:14:15,647 Thank you very much. 204 00:14:18,783 --> 00:14:20,616 - So... - What? 205 00:14:20,618 --> 00:14:22,885 I get the impression you quite liked the car. 206 00:14:22,886 --> 00:14:24,654 Oh, it's unbelievable. 207 00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,722 What I loved most of all is they've made it out of bits 208 00:14:26,724 --> 00:14:28,825 that they already had lying around in the factory. 209 00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,326 It's like you going home 210 00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:32,163 after your tripto South Africa, opening the fridge, 211 00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:33,496 and using what's there 212 00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:35,432 to make a delicious shepherd's pie. 213 00:14:35,432 --> 00:14:38,168 What, some stale milk and an old piece of cheese? 214 00:14:39,571 --> 00:14:42,206 - And it costs £1.8 million? - Yes. 215 00:14:42,206 --> 00:14:43,840 How much is that, Jeremy, in rand? 216 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,177 Ten hundred and 30 million and a million. 217 00:14:47,544 --> 00:14:52,048 But for that it does 0-60 in 2.9 seconds? 218 00:14:52,048 --> 00:14:56,187 So it's nearly as fast as an Aventador or a Caterham R600, 219 00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,721 or an Ariel Atom V8, 220 00:14:57,721 --> 00:15:00,191 but much more expensive! 221 00:15:00,192 --> 00:15:02,359 And not road legal. 222 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,061 Yes. Thank you very much for relieving yourself all over my enthusiasm. 223 00:15:05,062 --> 00:15:06,496 You're welcome. 224 00:15:06,498 --> 00:15:08,331 It is a brilliant, brilliant car. 225 00:15:08,332 --> 00:15:10,201 And only one question now remains. 226 00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:12,936 How fast will it go round our track 227 00:15:12,937 --> 00:15:14,837 in the hands of a man 228 00:15:14,839 --> 00:15:19,275 who thinks that everything British is basically communist? 229 00:15:19,277 --> 00:15:21,043 Here he is. 230 00:15:21,044 --> 00:15:24,347 Looking a bit confused. 231 00:15:24,349 --> 00:15:28,485 All right, folks, let's see what this bag of bolts will do. 232 00:15:28,485 --> 00:15:33,356 And he's off, and immediately on to the Isn't Straight. 233 00:15:33,357 --> 00:15:35,991 First corner coming up. 234 00:15:35,993 --> 00:15:39,296 And he's flat through there. That is ballsy. 235 00:15:39,297 --> 00:15:41,932 Changing down, though, for the second corner 236 00:15:41,932 --> 00:15:43,334 on the Isn't Straight, 237 00:15:43,335 --> 00:15:44,900 but now he can use full power. 238 00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,802 800 brake horsepower? 239 00:15:46,803 --> 00:15:49,240 Are you kiddin' me? 240 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:53,809 Now, hard on the brakes for Your Name Here. 241 00:15:53,811 --> 00:15:56,111 He has got to be impressed with this. 242 00:15:56,113 --> 00:16:01,418 For about $50,000, I could get one of my old trucks NASCAR style. 243 00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:03,654 It's got 800 brake horsepower. 244 00:16:05,356 --> 00:16:06,822 Go deer hunting, 245 00:16:06,823 --> 00:16:09,024 you got room for a couple deer in the back. 246 00:16:09,025 --> 00:16:11,662 I don't think you can put no deer in this thing. 247 00:16:11,663 --> 00:16:13,330 Plenty of deer to run over, though, 248 00:16:13,331 --> 00:16:15,798 back on the Isn't Straight. 249 00:16:15,799 --> 00:16:18,434 James Bond drives one of these. 250 00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:21,672 Shit. Vin Diesel would whip his ass. 251 00:16:21,673 --> 00:16:24,707 Yes, I'm sure he would, but down into first. 252 00:16:24,708 --> 00:16:27,878 I don't know about this thing. 253 00:16:27,879 --> 00:16:30,282 It's like a red-headed stepchild I'm talkin'. 254 00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:34,149 Be damn ugly. 255 00:16:34,150 --> 00:16:37,187 Not sure he's fully concentrating past Old Lady's House. 256 00:16:37,187 --> 00:16:40,490 But he is flat out towards Substation. It is bumpy here. 257 00:16:40,491 --> 00:16:44,126 And there's new Tarmac on the apex. Will it kick the tail out? 258 00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:46,496 Yes, it does indeed. He's OK. 259 00:16:46,498 --> 00:16:48,698 Into Field of Sheep. No sheep today. 260 00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:50,200 And he's across the line. 261 00:16:53,337 --> 00:16:55,405 Hell of a track, though. 262 00:16:55,407 --> 00:16:57,774 - It is a hell of a track. - Big car. 263 00:16:57,774 --> 00:17:00,943 Anyway, we must now bring up the lap board 264 00:17:00,945 --> 00:17:04,914 and find out how fast the American got round in the Vulcan. 265 00:17:04,915 --> 00:17:07,417 Let's have a look. Ooh, it's quick. 266 00:17:07,419 --> 00:17:10,220 Oh, hello. Hello. 267 00:17:14,692 --> 00:17:18,662 There you go, see? Old time rock'n'roll. 268 00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:22,798 Old time rock'n'roll has beaten rap and techno. 269 00:17:22,799 --> 00:17:24,901 And R and B. 270 00:17:24,902 --> 00:17:26,702 - And is now at the top. - Very good. 271 00:17:26,703 --> 00:17:29,339 Well done, and thank you. Now we must move on. 272 00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:34,545 It's time for us to take a gentle stroll down Conversation Street. 273 00:17:39,784 --> 00:17:41,817 Right, sticking with Aston Martin, 274 00:17:41,818 --> 00:17:45,388 they've teamed up with Red Bull Racing to create this. 275 00:17:45,390 --> 00:17:48,157 It's called the 001. 276 00:17:48,159 --> 00:17:53,364 It has a V12, no turbos, none of that sort of hybrid witchcraft. 277 00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:56,400 Yet it produces 900 horsepower 278 00:17:56,401 --> 00:18:00,436 in a car that only weighs 900 kilos. 279 00:18:00,438 --> 00:18:03,038 Staggering. 280 00:18:03,039 --> 00:18:05,208 Well, more than staggering, that is a magic figure, 281 00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,978 cos that means it has one horsepower per kilogram. 282 00:18:07,979 --> 00:18:10,180 And no other car gets close to that. 283 00:18:10,181 --> 00:18:14,116 Not remotely. The Vulcan's barely half that. It's staggering. 284 00:18:14,117 --> 00:18:17,587 The only problem I have with this... and you just have to look at it. 285 00:18:17,588 --> 00:18:19,890 Another angle we've got here. Look at that. 286 00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:23,292 You know that car is gonna be all about aerodynamics 287 00:18:23,294 --> 00:18:25,561 and particularly downforce. 288 00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:26,863 And I hate downforce. 289 00:18:26,864 --> 00:18:29,031 What do you mean, you hate downforce? 290 00:18:29,032 --> 00:18:33,403 Because they tell you you can go round a 90-degree bend at 100mph 291 00:18:33,404 --> 00:18:36,006 because of the weight of the air pressing down on the body. 292 00:18:36,007 --> 00:18:38,273 It's like having an invisible elephant. 293 00:18:38,275 --> 00:18:41,211 What if the elephant falls off? 294 00:18:42,814 --> 00:18:44,548 It's not a real elephant! It can't fall off! 295 00:18:44,548 --> 00:18:46,682 But how can you trust something you don't see? 296 00:18:46,683 --> 00:18:50,686 Wait. No, I'm with him because what if you drove through a sudden vacuum? 297 00:18:50,688 --> 00:18:53,423 Well, that's not gonna happen either, is it? 298 00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:55,425 Hammond, listen. There has to be a speed 299 00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,227 in a car with active downforce, like that one, 300 00:18:57,228 --> 00:19:00,797 where you go round a corner too fast for the tyres, 301 00:19:00,798 --> 00:19:02,465 too fast for the mechanical grip, 302 00:19:02,467 --> 00:19:05,568 but not fast enough for the downforce to be working. 303 00:19:05,569 --> 00:19:07,136 So you'd have to say to the police, 304 00:19:07,137 --> 00:19:10,205 "I crashed because I wasn't going fast enough." 305 00:19:10,207 --> 00:19:11,607 - It's true. - Potentially. 306 00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:13,175 There's another point, actually, 307 00:19:13,176 --> 00:19:15,010 the handling is gonna depend on the weather. 308 00:19:15,011 --> 00:19:17,913 If it's a really hot day, the air will be thinner. 309 00:19:17,914 --> 00:19:20,951 - No, thicker. - No, it's thinner on a hot day. 310 00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:22,952 See, I'd be messed up already cos I'd have the wrong... 311 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:24,788 That's the point. You got a really hot day, 312 00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:26,589 and you don't really want to be driving a car 313 00:19:26,590 --> 00:19:28,124 where whether or not you get round a corner 314 00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:30,226 depends on whether or not the sun's out. 315 00:19:30,227 --> 00:19:33,896 So you now want weather forecasts to include cornering speeds? 316 00:19:33,897 --> 00:19:35,965 It's not just weather. Altitude. 317 00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:38,669 You could drive that car round a corner at 100mph 318 00:19:38,670 --> 00:19:40,703 in Holland, sea level, 319 00:19:40,704 --> 00:19:42,506 but, what are we here, 6,000 feet up? 320 00:19:42,507 --> 00:19:44,007 6,000 feet up here. 321 00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:46,308 You'd barely be able to get round at three mph. 322 00:19:46,309 --> 00:19:48,811 You'd crash it into a tree, or a visible elephant. 323 00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:51,481 They are real. 324 00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:54,349 Exactly. I just... Honestly, downforce... 325 00:19:54,351 --> 00:19:56,987 I don't like having to trust something you can't see. 326 00:19:56,988 --> 00:20:00,190 It's like North Korea. 327 00:20:00,191 --> 00:20:03,160 Or the contraceptive pill. 328 00:20:05,596 --> 00:20:07,396 That was an overshare. 329 00:20:07,397 --> 00:20:10,967 There's actually another hyper car I want to draw your attention to. 330 00:20:10,968 --> 00:20:13,403 - Replacement for the Veyron. - Oooh! 331 00:20:13,403 --> 00:20:15,238 That is the Bugatti Chiron. 332 00:20:15,239 --> 00:20:19,108 It's got a quad turbo 8-litre W16 engine, 333 00:20:19,109 --> 00:20:23,012 which every minute inhales 13,000 gallons of air. 334 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,280 - Just imagine. - It's unbelievable. 335 00:20:25,281 --> 00:20:27,217 1,500 horsepower. 336 00:20:27,218 --> 00:20:31,654 And the top speed is limited to 261 mph. 337 00:20:31,655 --> 00:20:35,558 They say it would do 288 but that would be irresponsible on the road. 338 00:20:37,494 --> 00:20:40,530 It's got diamonds in the speakers for better sound quality. 339 00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:42,566 Of course it has, yeah. 340 00:20:42,567 --> 00:20:48,171 Oh, you'll like this. At top speed, the force on each tyre is 3,800G. 341 00:20:48,172 --> 00:20:49,673 A man dies at 9G. 342 00:20:49,673 --> 00:20:51,875 If you drive the Chiron flat out 343 00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:54,309 it'll drain its tank in nine minutes. 344 00:20:55,846 --> 00:20:57,948 Nine minutes? 345 00:20:57,949 --> 00:21:00,415 Hang on a minute. 261mph at nine minutes. 346 00:21:00,416 --> 00:21:03,819 That means you'd have to fill up with fuel every 39 miles. 347 00:21:03,820 --> 00:21:07,557 Well, less... you can't drive until you run out, you'd have to look for a petrol station. 348 00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:10,359 Yes, James, it really isn't a practical car, is it? 349 00:21:11,663 --> 00:21:13,896 Gonna give you the most amazing stat, though. 350 00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:15,999 It's about the people who are buying this car. 351 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,968 They've got 200 orders so far. 352 00:21:17,969 --> 00:21:20,135 And the average person who's ordered one 353 00:21:20,136 --> 00:21:26,910 already has 64 cars, three helicopters, three jets and one yacht. 354 00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:28,411 Zuma. 355 00:21:33,617 --> 00:21:37,252 I reckon he's got one already. 356 00:21:37,253 --> 00:21:39,722 Didn't say that. He didn't say that. 357 00:21:39,723 --> 00:21:42,357 Shall we move it on? 358 00:21:42,358 --> 00:21:47,063 In South Africa, there are 35 carjackings every day. 359 00:21:47,064 --> 00:21:49,132 - Every day? - Every day. 360 00:21:49,133 --> 00:21:52,035 I've got to say, well done, that's an amazing figure. 361 00:21:52,036 --> 00:21:55,605 I can't believe it. How have you got time to come here? 362 00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:57,307 Cos you've got stuff to do. 363 00:21:57,307 --> 00:21:59,742 They've all come here in someone else's car. 364 00:21:59,743 --> 00:22:01,612 So you've already done it? 365 00:22:01,613 --> 00:22:04,615 But what they don't realise is they're all walking home. 366 00:22:04,615 --> 00:22:06,215 I've done a bit of research. 367 00:22:06,217 --> 00:22:09,986 The most commonly jacked cars, carjacked cars, 368 00:22:09,987 --> 00:22:14,356 are the VW Polo, the Toyota Hiace and the Toyota Hilux. 369 00:22:14,357 --> 00:22:16,159 But they're the best-selling cars in South Africa. 370 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:19,328 Exactly. The VW Polo is the best-selling car in South Africa. 371 00:22:19,329 --> 00:22:20,931 So why would you buy a car 372 00:22:20,932 --> 00:22:24,166 which increases your chance of being shot in the head and your car being stolen? 373 00:22:24,167 --> 00:22:28,104 Why not buy a car that nobody would want to steal? 374 00:22:28,105 --> 00:22:32,643 No, cos if I lived here, I'd get something like a beige Volvo Estate. 375 00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:35,377 That's just a car you want! 376 00:22:35,378 --> 00:22:38,013 You're using it as an excuse to get your dream car. 377 00:22:39,450 --> 00:22:41,718 Look, Hammond, I've explained it to you before. 378 00:22:41,719 --> 00:22:45,055 Having a Volvo Estate is a bit like needing to go to the dentist. 379 00:22:45,056 --> 00:22:47,958 It's gonna happen. Get it over with. Just do it. 380 00:22:47,959 --> 00:22:49,992 I don't want to get it over with. 381 00:22:49,993 --> 00:22:51,662 That's like going to the dentist and saying, 382 00:22:51,663 --> 00:22:53,963 "Take all my teeth out cos they're gonna fall out." 383 00:22:53,964 --> 00:22:56,700 At the barber's: "Just pull it all out, it'll fall out anyway." 384 00:22:56,701 --> 00:23:01,403 The doctor: "Stop me being able to retain my urine. It's gonna happen, too." 385 00:23:01,404 --> 00:23:04,674 I'm gonna bury myself and get it all over with once and for all. 386 00:23:04,675 --> 00:23:06,509 He has got a point, seriously. 387 00:23:06,509 --> 00:23:08,979 Let's enjoy it before we have to have the Volvo. 388 00:23:08,980 --> 00:23:12,949 But why do you all buy cars that you're going to get carjacked in? 389 00:23:12,950 --> 00:23:15,085 Has anyone got a Volkswagen Polo here? 390 00:23:15,086 --> 00:23:19,021 You have? Did you buy that for yourself? 391 00:23:19,022 --> 00:23:21,090 - My dad bought it for me. - Your dad bought it? 392 00:23:21,092 --> 00:23:24,126 Wow! Oh, nice gift! 393 00:23:24,127 --> 00:23:26,429 What sort of madness is this? 394 00:23:26,430 --> 00:23:29,700 Has anyone got a Toyota Hilux? 395 00:23:29,701 --> 00:23:31,701 Yeah. This is insanity. 396 00:23:31,702 --> 00:23:34,069 Is it yours? 397 00:23:34,070 --> 00:23:36,772 What did you start out with this morning? 398 00:23:36,773 --> 00:23:38,407 It's unbelievable. 399 00:23:38,409 --> 00:23:40,309 Anyway, listen, we gotta move it on. 400 00:23:40,310 --> 00:23:42,511 Because, here in South Africa, 401 00:23:42,512 --> 00:23:45,015 people have an interesting approach to preventing car theft. 402 00:23:45,016 --> 00:23:46,982 Got a picture here of one man's solution. 403 00:23:46,983 --> 00:23:48,818 That's a python. 404 00:23:48,819 --> 00:23:50,987 Now there's no question it's gonna work. 405 00:23:50,988 --> 00:23:54,223 I would not steal a car that had that on the dashboard. 406 00:23:54,224 --> 00:23:56,558 However, a python's not like a burglar alarm. 407 00:23:56,559 --> 00:23:58,528 You can't turn it off. 408 00:23:58,528 --> 00:24:00,931 When you come back to your car, how do you say to the snake, 409 00:24:00,932 --> 00:24:02,632 "It's my car, don't strangle me." 410 00:24:02,633 --> 00:24:04,267 You can't. 411 00:24:04,268 --> 00:24:06,301 I'm pretty sure you can't train a python, can you? 412 00:24:06,303 --> 00:24:08,570 You can't. That's why you never see sheep snakes 413 00:24:08,571 --> 00:24:10,740 or guide snakes for the blind. 414 00:24:10,741 --> 00:24:12,275 It'll never happen. 415 00:24:12,276 --> 00:24:14,376 I have to say, 416 00:24:14,377 --> 00:24:16,747 in England, we've got an even more stupid solution. 417 00:24:16,748 --> 00:24:19,515 This chap's come up with an idea called "Bike Mine". 418 00:24:19,516 --> 00:24:23,185 I've got a video of him here explaining how it works. 419 00:24:23,186 --> 00:24:26,856 It can be attached quickly to protect almost any personal possession 420 00:24:26,857 --> 00:24:28,924 you store outside or in a garage or shed. 421 00:24:28,925 --> 00:24:32,595 Its robust steel construction is covered in a rubber skin 422 00:24:32,596 --> 00:24:34,463 to protect your property. 423 00:24:34,464 --> 00:24:37,099 Bike Mine is safe because the detonators are self-contained... 424 00:24:37,101 --> 00:24:39,935 as well as legal to own and use. 425 00:24:39,936 --> 00:24:43,105 Bike Mine is reliable because there are no batteries to run down 426 00:24:43,106 --> 00:24:45,776 and only one moving part. 427 00:24:51,782 --> 00:24:54,785 It's not gonna work. 428 00:24:54,786 --> 00:24:56,551 What I can't understand is, 429 00:24:56,552 --> 00:24:59,088 he said it can also protect any other personal property you may have. 430 00:24:59,089 --> 00:25:01,257 What, like a Ming vase? 431 00:25:01,258 --> 00:25:04,827 "Are you worried about your child being kidnapped? 432 00:25:04,828 --> 00:25:06,829 Simply hang this bomb round their neck." 433 00:25:08,332 --> 00:25:11,101 So, moving on, to Jordan, weirdly, 434 00:25:11,102 --> 00:25:14,003 where the government has just built a mock town, 435 00:25:14,005 --> 00:25:16,306 so that special forces from all over the world 436 00:25:16,307 --> 00:25:18,708 can turn up and have a competition 437 00:25:18,709 --> 00:25:20,876 to see which one is best. 438 00:25:20,877 --> 00:25:23,179 Yes, and this year, Mr Wilman, 439 00:25:23,180 --> 00:25:26,449 who is the Fat Man who controls our lives, 440 00:25:26,450 --> 00:25:28,351 decided that us three should go and take part. 441 00:25:28,352 --> 00:25:30,353 Obviously there'd be a lot of shooting, 442 00:25:30,354 --> 00:25:32,288 running about and doing somersaults. 443 00:25:32,288 --> 00:25:34,356 None of which we'd be any good at. 444 00:25:34,357 --> 00:25:37,993 No, but, the SAS, the world's first special forces unit, 445 00:25:37,994 --> 00:25:40,363 was created to be fast, 446 00:25:40,364 --> 00:25:42,265 to get into the battle quickly and then get out again. 447 00:25:42,266 --> 00:25:45,868 So there would also be a lot of high-speed driving. 448 00:25:45,869 --> 00:25:47,502 - Erm... - Yes, I know. 449 00:25:47,503 --> 00:25:49,905 That is a bit of a problem. We'll gloss over that. 450 00:25:49,906 --> 00:25:53,509 Anyway, we were sent out there and this is what happened. 451 00:26:10,094 --> 00:26:11,862 This is it. 452 00:26:11,863 --> 00:26:14,964 The special forces training base deep inside Amman. 453 00:26:14,965 --> 00:26:18,101 The city, obviously, not... not... 454 00:26:18,102 --> 00:26:22,337 Anyway, arriving now to demonstrate what we'd have to do later, 455 00:26:22,338 --> 00:26:25,674 a squad of special forces soldiers. 456 00:26:25,675 --> 00:26:29,011 They exfoliated from a Black Hawk helicopter on ropes 457 00:26:29,012 --> 00:26:33,648 and then fought their way through a terrorist-infested building. 458 00:26:39,222 --> 00:26:41,624 Their next task was to steal a car, 459 00:26:41,625 --> 00:26:45,496 which they used to reach a hijacked airliner. 460 00:26:47,798 --> 00:26:51,366 Here they stormed the cabin, killed the bad guys... 461 00:26:53,904 --> 00:26:55,572 and rescued a VIP. 462 00:26:58,075 --> 00:27:02,377 There was then a high-speed car chase and a running gun battle, 463 00:27:02,378 --> 00:27:04,547 as they escorted the rescued hostage 464 00:27:04,548 --> 00:27:07,084 to the safety of a nearby embassy. 465 00:27:13,023 --> 00:27:15,057 That was quite impressive. 466 00:27:15,058 --> 00:27:16,592 Well, it's not like they were 467 00:27:16,593 --> 00:27:18,060 - using real bullets. - Yes, they were. 468 00:27:18,061 --> 00:27:19,930 - They were not. - They were! 469 00:27:19,931 --> 00:27:21,830 Are you saying that on this, 470 00:27:21,832 --> 00:27:24,700 let's be honest, training ground, 471 00:27:24,701 --> 00:27:28,038 people are allowed to run around with real bullets in these guns? 472 00:27:28,038 --> 00:27:29,471 - Yes. - Rubbish. 473 00:27:32,476 --> 00:27:36,211 And there you are. Real bullets. 474 00:27:36,212 --> 00:27:38,314 And I managed to shoot myself. 475 00:27:38,315 --> 00:27:40,615 - Oh, yeah. - How did you do that? 476 00:27:40,616 --> 00:27:42,184 Well, because, on an assault rifle, 477 00:27:42,185 --> 00:27:44,153 the bullets come out this side 478 00:27:44,154 --> 00:27:47,289 and I'm a left-handed shot, so they just go up my arm, the casings. 479 00:27:47,290 --> 00:27:49,459 You're gonna be rubbish at this. 480 00:27:49,460 --> 00:27:52,228 Well, I'm not going to be able to use an assault rifle. 481 00:27:52,229 --> 00:27:54,529 I'm not gonna be able to storm that airliner. 482 00:27:54,530 --> 00:27:57,167 I'm not gonna be able to get out of the helicopter. 483 00:27:58,801 --> 00:28:01,371 Fearing that things may not go well, 484 00:28:01,372 --> 00:28:03,739 we were told to go and get ready. 485 00:28:03,740 --> 00:28:07,344 And even that was fraught with difficulty. 486 00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,515 Why are you wearing white? 487 00:28:12,516 --> 00:28:14,416 Snow camouflage. 488 00:28:14,417 --> 00:28:17,988 It has never, ever snowed in Jordan. 489 00:28:17,989 --> 00:28:19,521 I didn't know where Jordan was. 490 00:28:19,522 --> 00:28:21,557 You're gonna be quite visible. 491 00:28:23,027 --> 00:28:24,794 At this point, we received details 492 00:28:24,795 --> 00:28:27,998 of our mission from our boss, Mr Wilman. 493 00:28:27,999 --> 00:28:30,532 "Each time one of you is killed, 494 00:28:30,534 --> 00:28:33,003 you all have to begin again." 495 00:28:34,337 --> 00:28:36,806 So it's like that Tom Cruise movie. 496 00:28:36,807 --> 00:28:38,240 What, Cocktail? 497 00:28:38,241 --> 00:28:41,411 No, not Cocktail. Or Rain Man. 498 00:28:41,412 --> 00:28:43,614 This is gonna take forever. 499 00:28:51,454 --> 00:28:55,025 Nevertheless, we were soon in the helicopter 500 00:28:55,026 --> 00:28:58,494 on our way to the start of this important rescue mission. 501 00:29:00,030 --> 00:29:02,031 Let's just get this straight. 502 00:29:02,032 --> 00:29:04,099 When we get over the building, 503 00:29:04,101 --> 00:29:06,036 we leap out of the door 504 00:29:06,037 --> 00:29:08,238 and grab the rope and slide down it? 505 00:29:08,239 --> 00:29:10,940 Pretty much, yeah, that's it. That's how it goes. 506 00:29:10,941 --> 00:29:12,642 You could be leader. 507 00:29:12,643 --> 00:29:15,944 Get out there, show us how it's done, we will follow. 508 00:29:15,945 --> 00:29:17,579 I don't want to. 509 00:29:17,580 --> 00:29:20,415 I've never climbed a rope or gone down one in my life. 510 00:29:20,416 --> 00:29:22,051 Well, what a time. Get on with it. 511 00:29:22,053 --> 00:29:24,319 Why don't you go first? 512 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,088 I can't do that. I'm scared of heights. 513 00:29:26,089 --> 00:29:28,157 Lead by example. 514 00:29:28,159 --> 00:29:31,261 - Be an inspiration to your men. - Yeah, exactly. 515 00:29:32,128 --> 00:29:34,064 How high will it be? 516 00:29:34,065 --> 00:29:36,965 - 30 feet? - Yeah. You'll be fine. 517 00:29:36,967 --> 00:29:39,969 What happens if you fell 30 feet? 518 00:29:39,970 --> 00:29:41,471 Would you be going home with a head wand? 519 00:29:41,471 --> 00:29:43,239 You'd be going home in this helicopter 520 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:44,539 but not in that seat. 521 00:29:44,540 --> 00:29:46,376 You'd be in a bucket in the corner. 522 00:29:55,086 --> 00:29:58,288 OK, here it comes. Let's do this! 523 00:30:04,095 --> 00:30:07,663 Whoa! Jesus Christ! Stop! 524 00:30:07,663 --> 00:30:09,098 Oh, shit. 525 00:30:09,099 --> 00:30:10,566 I'm very scared. 526 00:30:10,567 --> 00:30:12,134 Mate, that's not the attitude. 527 00:30:12,135 --> 00:30:13,903 - Go on, then! - Don't like it! 528 00:30:13,903 --> 00:30:15,704 - Go down the rope! - Don't want to do it. 529 00:30:15,705 --> 00:30:17,606 - Loosen your hands a bit. - I don't want to. 530 00:30:17,607 --> 00:30:19,642 Do you want me to tickle you on your belly? 531 00:30:19,643 --> 00:30:21,577 - No. - Well, go on, then! 532 00:30:27,518 --> 00:30:29,318 - Hammond! - Yeah? 533 00:30:29,319 --> 00:30:30,820 My trousers have fallen down. 534 00:30:32,655 --> 00:30:36,259 Ladies and gentlemen, Chuck Norris. 535 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,363 Oh, no, no. 536 00:30:40,364 --> 00:30:43,665 Oh, yes. Have you ever 537 00:30:43,666 --> 00:30:46,635 in your whole life seen anything... 538 00:30:46,636 --> 00:30:47,837 Aaagh! 539 00:30:53,576 --> 00:30:56,211 I know I made that rope thing look a bit difficult, 540 00:30:56,212 --> 00:30:59,281 but actually it's surprisingly easy. 541 00:30:59,282 --> 00:31:01,616 So, why don't you go first? 542 00:31:01,617 --> 00:31:04,386 - I've got a better idea. - What? 543 00:31:04,387 --> 00:31:06,422 Why don't we just land the helicopter? 544 00:31:06,423 --> 00:31:09,292 That is a good idea. Helicopters can land. 545 00:31:24,174 --> 00:31:26,342 Stop, stop, stop. Hammond. 546 00:31:26,343 --> 00:31:29,545 Right, listen, you open the door, 547 00:31:29,546 --> 00:31:31,946 and I'll throw this stun grenade in. 548 00:31:31,948 --> 00:31:33,182 Good idea. In three... 549 00:31:33,183 --> 00:31:34,450 No, wait, wait! 550 00:31:34,451 --> 00:31:36,251 I don't know how it works. 551 00:31:36,252 --> 00:31:37,853 Oh, for God's sake. 552 00:31:41,224 --> 00:31:43,526 Right. You ready, Hammond? 553 00:31:43,527 --> 00:31:45,595 Go! 554 00:31:47,063 --> 00:31:48,663 Come on! 555 00:31:51,902 --> 00:31:53,935 I thought you said it was a stun grenade? 556 00:31:53,936 --> 00:31:56,572 I meant smoke. 557 00:31:56,573 --> 00:31:58,273 I can't see a thing! 558 00:31:58,275 --> 00:32:00,442 Literally nothing. 559 00:32:00,443 --> 00:32:02,912 When the smoke finally cleared, 560 00:32:02,913 --> 00:32:04,414 we started our sweep. 561 00:32:06,115 --> 00:32:07,917 Ssh. Quiet. 562 00:32:17,327 --> 00:32:19,394 Dog. Dog. 563 00:32:19,395 --> 00:32:23,232 No! It means door. There's a door! 564 00:32:23,233 --> 00:32:25,567 There's a door. 565 00:32:25,568 --> 00:32:27,369 It's not a bloody football, is it? 566 00:32:27,371 --> 00:32:29,905 - Kick it. - You put your foot flat. 567 00:32:31,342 --> 00:32:33,243 That's how you do it. 568 00:32:34,278 --> 00:32:36,247 - Nobody there. - It's empty. 569 00:32:42,286 --> 00:32:44,987 Nobody there. 570 00:32:44,988 --> 00:32:47,824 Soon, though, they were there. 571 00:32:56,932 --> 00:32:59,335 We are trapped in this room. 572 00:32:59,336 --> 00:33:01,636 Well, why don't we just go out of the window? 573 00:33:01,637 --> 00:33:03,405 We could go out of the window. 574 00:33:03,406 --> 00:33:05,875 Yeah, we could do that. Cover us. 575 00:33:05,875 --> 00:33:08,877 Yeah, I'll cover you. 576 00:33:08,878 --> 00:33:11,780 As Jeremy laid down covering fire... 577 00:33:13,016 --> 00:33:15,351 ...May and I climbed out of the window. 578 00:33:15,352 --> 00:33:17,886 But then, there was a problem. 579 00:33:22,125 --> 00:33:23,526 I'm stuck. 580 00:33:23,527 --> 00:33:25,695 - Well, push! - Ooh! 581 00:33:27,998 --> 00:33:29,365 What? 582 00:33:29,365 --> 00:33:31,634 The terrorists are in the room. 583 00:33:31,634 --> 00:33:33,302 How do you know? 584 00:33:33,304 --> 00:33:35,037 They're doing things to me. 585 00:33:35,038 --> 00:33:36,940 Ooh. 586 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:39,942 Oooh. 587 00:33:41,144 --> 00:33:42,545 This is very uncomfortable. 588 00:33:42,546 --> 00:33:44,314 It's probably cos you're so tense. 589 00:33:44,315 --> 00:33:46,115 Ohh. James! 590 00:33:46,115 --> 00:33:48,017 - What? - Kill me. 591 00:33:48,018 --> 00:33:49,951 Shoot me. 592 00:33:49,952 --> 00:33:51,119 Gladly. 593 00:33:51,121 --> 00:33:52,755 Please hurry up. 594 00:33:52,756 --> 00:33:54,789 - Fully automatic? - Er... 595 00:33:54,790 --> 00:33:56,326 Get on with it! 596 00:33:56,326 --> 00:33:57,992 - Just give him the lot. - In ten... 597 00:33:57,993 --> 00:33:59,429 Not ten! 598 00:33:59,430 --> 00:34:01,195 All right, in... 599 00:34:01,196 --> 00:34:04,767 three, two, one. 600 00:34:07,136 --> 00:34:08,637 How did you miss? 601 00:34:08,639 --> 00:34:10,672 It's true what they say about machine guns. 602 00:34:10,673 --> 00:34:12,106 You can't hit a thing with them. 603 00:34:12,108 --> 00:34:14,344 - What? - Just kill me. 604 00:34:14,344 --> 00:34:16,346 We're trying! It's not that easy. 605 00:34:16,347 --> 00:34:17,947 Hang on. I'm out. 606 00:34:17,947 --> 00:34:19,782 - Use the shovel. Hit me with that. - Right. 607 00:34:19,782 --> 00:34:21,351 Do you want to say anything? 608 00:34:21,351 --> 00:34:23,818 Yes. Final words. I hate you. 609 00:34:23,820 --> 00:34:25,688 You know, I've dreamt about exactly this. 610 00:34:25,688 --> 00:34:27,356 - Hurry up! - Incoming! 611 00:34:34,130 --> 00:34:35,498 We are trapped in this room. 612 00:34:35,498 --> 00:34:37,400 Why don't we go out of the window? 613 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:39,802 Do you mind if I go through the door? 614 00:34:42,472 --> 00:34:44,072 This is better. 615 00:34:47,378 --> 00:34:51,581 Heroically we fought off all the attackers outside the building. 616 00:34:53,282 --> 00:34:57,454 But then we were pinned down by a sniper. 617 00:35:00,590 --> 00:35:03,925 - James. James. - What? 618 00:35:03,927 --> 00:35:06,128 Go down there and steal that Renault. 619 00:35:06,128 --> 00:35:07,996 Why? 620 00:35:07,998 --> 00:35:10,298 Because this is a car show. We need a motoring element. 621 00:35:10,300 --> 00:35:13,034 - Good point. - Go! 622 00:35:13,036 --> 00:35:16,639 Can you think of anybody on God's green Earth 623 00:35:16,639 --> 00:35:20,141 less able to do this kind of thing than him? 624 00:35:21,010 --> 00:35:22,911 I mean, he can play the harpsichord 625 00:35:22,913 --> 00:35:25,481 but that's not a skill we're gonna need today. 626 00:35:27,217 --> 00:35:28,952 And he's been shot. 627 00:35:31,054 --> 00:35:32,621 - James. - What? 628 00:35:32,623 --> 00:35:35,425 - Go and steal that Renault over there. - Why? 629 00:35:35,425 --> 00:35:38,059 Because this is a car show. We need a motoring element. 630 00:35:38,061 --> 00:35:40,530 Good point. 631 00:35:40,530 --> 00:35:44,199 Can you think of anybody on God's green Earth 632 00:35:44,199 --> 00:35:46,835 who's less able to do this sort of thing than him? 633 00:35:48,539 --> 00:35:51,507 Can you think of anybody on God's green Earth... 634 00:35:52,976 --> 00:35:56,344 Can you think of anybody... 635 00:35:56,346 --> 00:35:58,280 Can you think... 636 00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,014 James, you can't just keep doing 637 00:36:00,016 --> 00:36:02,150 the same thing over and over again. 638 00:36:02,152 --> 00:36:03,452 Nah, he'll miss eventually. 639 00:36:03,454 --> 00:36:06,521 Oh, God. 640 00:36:06,523 --> 00:36:09,458 - Oh, for God's sake. - There it is. 641 00:36:09,460 --> 00:36:13,061 Because Corporal Stubborn wouldn't budge from his tactic, 642 00:36:13,063 --> 00:36:15,898 Richard and I decided that on our next attempt 643 00:36:15,898 --> 00:36:19,101 we'd go into battle with some new equipment. 644 00:36:20,871 --> 00:36:22,838 Go and steal that Renault. 645 00:36:43,927 --> 00:36:46,061 Go and steal that Renault over there. 646 00:36:58,708 --> 00:37:00,811 Ohhh! 647 00:37:03,947 --> 00:37:06,815 James, go and steal that Renault over there. 648 00:37:06,817 --> 00:37:09,083 - No. - What do you mean, no? 649 00:37:09,085 --> 00:37:12,153 Well, there's a garage over there. It'll have some vehicles in it. 650 00:37:12,155 --> 00:37:13,523 Oh, yeah. 651 00:37:16,592 --> 00:37:18,527 Now we're in a car show. 652 00:37:18,528 --> 00:37:22,898 Right, Jeremy, you go sort that sniper, we'll get these started. 653 00:37:22,898 --> 00:37:24,567 Good plan. 654 00:37:24,568 --> 00:37:27,637 Right, there's no keys. I'll hotwire it. 655 00:37:28,639 --> 00:37:30,106 Oh, there he is. 656 00:37:32,576 --> 00:37:34,643 Say hello to my little friend. 657 00:37:39,382 --> 00:37:42,416 Yes! What a shot! 658 00:37:42,418 --> 00:37:43,885 Ohhh! 659 00:37:43,887 --> 00:37:45,454 I'll never be able to do that again. 660 00:37:45,454 --> 00:37:47,056 - Jeremy! - What? 661 00:37:47,056 --> 00:37:49,559 James has electrocuted himself. 662 00:37:49,559 --> 00:37:50,960 Oh, what a... 663 00:37:54,731 --> 00:37:56,331 Say hello to my little friend. 664 00:37:56,331 --> 00:37:59,601 Right, there are no keys. I'll hotwire it. 665 00:37:59,603 --> 00:38:02,105 Have you not seen every single movie ever made? 666 00:38:14,117 --> 00:38:17,820 There's nowhere to put a gun. That is a bad mark for Audi. 667 00:38:20,590 --> 00:38:24,760 Sport, drive, traction control off. 668 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:26,061 Here we go! 669 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:46,617 Unbelievable. 670 00:38:48,619 --> 00:38:50,719 - Jeremy. - What? 671 00:38:50,721 --> 00:38:53,322 Why did your trousers fall down? 672 00:38:53,322 --> 00:38:55,990 Because there were so many grenades attached to them. 673 00:38:55,992 --> 00:38:57,893 And in the down-draught of the helicopter... 674 00:38:57,893 --> 00:39:01,130 I was very brave doing that. I was. 675 00:39:01,130 --> 00:39:03,998 - I'm sure I saw him crying. - They were tears of bravery. 676 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,367 Oh, that well-known expression. Tears of bravery. 677 00:39:06,369 --> 00:39:09,237 Anyway, look, there's a bit of a trend in South Africa 678 00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:13,007 for making your own car, making a car from scratch. 679 00:39:13,009 --> 00:39:14,943 We've got an example here. 680 00:39:14,945 --> 00:39:17,545 This man's built this one based around the engine 681 00:39:17,547 --> 00:39:19,547 and a few bits from a BMW 318i. 682 00:39:19,548 --> 00:39:22,284 And I've got to say, I think that's pretty cool. 683 00:39:22,284 --> 00:39:24,253 - It's brilliant. - There are lots of these. 684 00:39:24,253 --> 00:39:27,822 I prefer this one, also with a BMW engine, a V8, 685 00:39:27,824 --> 00:39:29,659 but the bodywork is made of denim. 686 00:39:29,659 --> 00:39:32,226 A man of exquisite taste. 687 00:39:33,730 --> 00:39:35,164 I think the best of them all is so good, 688 00:39:35,164 --> 00:39:37,166 we've actually brought it into the studio. 689 00:39:37,166 --> 00:39:39,668 Look, it's down here. Unbelievable, this. 690 00:39:39,670 --> 00:39:42,672 It's a replica of a Mercedes C9. 691 00:39:42,672 --> 00:39:45,574 Now that, Hammond, was the car that won 692 00:39:45,574 --> 00:39:48,677 the 24-hour Le Mans race in 1989. 693 00:39:48,679 --> 00:39:51,713 And it's so amazing, I've brought out the man who built it. 694 00:39:51,715 --> 00:39:54,849 Ladies and gentlemen, give him a warm hand. Johan Ackermann! 695 00:39:54,851 --> 00:39:56,686 Thank you very much for coming. 696 00:40:00,289 --> 00:40:02,490 Can I just as... 697 00:40:02,492 --> 00:40:03,992 Can I just ask, Johan, 698 00:40:03,994 --> 00:40:07,096 how did you get the styling to work? 699 00:40:07,097 --> 00:40:09,931 Well, Jeremy, there was no drawings on the internet, 700 00:40:09,932 --> 00:40:12,501 so, erm... I got a book on the dimensions, 701 00:40:12,501 --> 00:40:15,905 but the closest I could get was a 1:32-scale model. 702 00:40:15,905 --> 00:40:18,273 Hang on, so you measured your toy car, 703 00:40:18,273 --> 00:40:21,844 multiplied it by 32 and built a full-sized one. 704 00:40:21,844 --> 00:40:23,177 - Yep. - That's how you did it? 705 00:40:23,179 --> 00:40:25,914 - Is it road legal? - Fully road legal. 706 00:40:25,916 --> 00:40:27,949 - It's a real car, not a model? - Yeah. 707 00:40:27,951 --> 00:40:30,018 How long did you spend building this? 708 00:40:30,019 --> 00:40:32,755 From start to roadworthy was 16 months. 709 00:40:32,755 --> 00:40:35,023 Right. Was there, or is there, 710 00:40:35,025 --> 00:40:36,826 a marriage to have survived this? 711 00:40:37,793 --> 00:40:39,795 Well, I hope so. 712 00:40:39,795 --> 00:40:41,362 My wife is here, so it must be a good sign. 713 00:40:41,364 --> 00:40:44,432 Hello, patient lady. 714 00:40:44,434 --> 00:40:46,768 Well, it's a remarkable achievement, and well done. 715 00:40:46,769 --> 00:40:48,302 Ladies and gentlemen, Johan Ackermann. 716 00:40:48,304 --> 00:40:50,806 That's brilliant. 717 00:40:50,806 --> 00:40:52,775 Brilliant. 718 00:40:55,677 --> 00:40:58,280 We're moving on to a great idea 719 00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:01,615 that Richard Hammond and I have had all by our own. 720 00:41:01,617 --> 00:41:03,853 - And it is brilliant. - It is. 721 00:41:03,853 --> 00:41:07,757 It's called, Making James May Do Something He Doesn't Want To Do. 722 00:41:09,059 --> 00:41:10,826 And we kick off with spinning. 723 00:41:10,827 --> 00:41:12,927 It's a South African thing. Fairly simple. 724 00:41:12,929 --> 00:41:14,963 You get an elderly rear-wheel-drive car, 725 00:41:14,965 --> 00:41:17,967 take it to a car park where you do doughnuts in it 726 00:41:17,967 --> 00:41:20,135 to a backdrop of strong rap music. 727 00:41:22,072 --> 00:41:24,672 It's lively, it's interesting, and it's youthful. 728 00:41:24,673 --> 00:41:26,775 It's everything he isn't. 729 00:41:45,027 --> 00:41:47,061 Well, here we are, then, 730 00:41:47,063 --> 00:41:49,697 at one of Jo'burg's top spinning destinations, 731 00:41:49,699 --> 00:41:52,934 the aptly-named Wheelz 'n' Smoke Arena. 732 00:41:52,936 --> 00:41:55,036 And the object of the exercise, 733 00:41:55,038 --> 00:41:56,570 as far as I can make out, 734 00:41:56,572 --> 00:41:58,809 is to create smoke. 735 00:42:01,811 --> 00:42:03,512 And drive round and round the arena 736 00:42:03,512 --> 00:42:05,547 until the tyres go bang. 737 00:42:07,449 --> 00:42:09,217 And then what's left of the tyres 738 00:42:09,219 --> 00:42:11,085 are put on a bonfire over there, 739 00:42:11,086 --> 00:42:13,655 to make sure there's absolutely nothing left. 740 00:42:23,099 --> 00:42:28,036 This is Stacy, and she's only about 17, I think. 741 00:42:28,038 --> 00:42:30,338 And the word round here and the noise in the crowd 742 00:42:30,340 --> 00:42:32,340 says that Stacy is actually very good at this. 743 00:42:32,342 --> 00:42:35,846 But how the bloody hell would I know? It's just a massive cloud of smoke... 744 00:42:37,512 --> 00:42:39,681 ...with some headlights occasionally appearing in it. 745 00:42:41,284 --> 00:42:43,617 To help me get into the spirit of things, 746 00:42:43,619 --> 00:42:47,521 the organisers suggested I should become more involved. 747 00:42:51,561 --> 00:42:54,295 Aaaargh! 748 00:42:57,567 --> 00:43:00,735 Look at the rev case, in the red constantly, mate. 749 00:43:03,373 --> 00:43:06,476 I don't like the smell of tyre smoke in the evening. 750 00:43:07,943 --> 00:43:10,112 Oi! Get back in! 751 00:43:11,614 --> 00:43:14,050 Get back in the car, you idiot! 752 00:43:15,518 --> 00:43:17,219 Help! 753 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,896 Thank you. 754 00:43:38,208 --> 00:43:40,309 - Has it broken? - Yes. 755 00:43:40,309 --> 00:43:41,510 Finally. 756 00:43:58,929 --> 00:44:00,528 I got 20,000 miles 757 00:44:00,530 --> 00:44:03,934 out of the last set of rear tyres on my car. 758 00:44:32,262 --> 00:44:34,429 Just go out there and do it. 759 00:44:34,429 --> 00:44:36,364 Fancy trying to do that in England. 760 00:44:36,365 --> 00:44:38,500 Or anywhere. Or Australia. 761 00:44:38,501 --> 00:44:39,969 Anyway, mm-mm-mm. 762 00:44:39,969 --> 00:44:43,271 James May, was there any part of that that you enjoyed? 763 00:44:43,273 --> 00:44:45,539 - Nope. - Good. 764 00:44:45,541 --> 00:44:48,643 But now it is time for Celebrity Brain Crash. 765 00:44:56,286 --> 00:44:58,219 Now after what happened last week, 766 00:44:58,221 --> 00:45:00,588 our guest this week declined our offer 767 00:45:00,590 --> 00:45:03,291 to arrive at the studio on a hovercraft, 768 00:45:03,293 --> 00:45:05,094 saying she would prefer to walk. 769 00:45:05,094 --> 00:45:06,827 - It's understandable. - Yes, it is. 770 00:45:06,829 --> 00:45:08,530 I'm sure that despite this, 771 00:45:08,530 --> 00:45:11,333 you will still give her an enormous welcome. 772 00:45:11,333 --> 00:45:14,503 Although she's now a major Hollywood star, 773 00:45:14,503 --> 00:45:16,905 she was actually born here in South Africa. 774 00:45:16,905 --> 00:45:20,009 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Charlize Theron! 775 00:45:22,878 --> 00:45:26,215 We must ask her about A Million Ways To Die In The West. 776 00:45:26,215 --> 00:45:27,748 I love that film. 777 00:45:27,750 --> 00:45:30,485 But what I really love is the way she looks in it. 778 00:45:30,485 --> 00:45:34,688 The hat and the floaty skirt. She's on a bicycle as well. 779 00:45:37,693 --> 00:45:40,630 - Oh, no. - Oh, God. 780 00:45:41,831 --> 00:45:44,666 - Oh, not... - Ladies and gentlemen, 781 00:45:44,666 --> 00:45:46,735 Charlize Theron has been attacked by a lion. 782 00:45:46,735 --> 00:45:49,539 - Oh, no. - Literally nothing we can do. 783 00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:53,175 Does that mean she's not coming on, then? 784 00:45:53,175 --> 00:45:56,344 She's been eaten by a lion. 785 00:45:56,346 --> 00:45:58,813 Well, look, are there any other well-known 786 00:45:58,813 --> 00:46:00,414 South Africans in the audience? 787 00:46:00,416 --> 00:46:02,384 It's not very likely, James. 788 00:46:02,385 --> 00:46:04,219 There's only two globally famous South Africans. 789 00:46:04,219 --> 00:46:07,056 One's now in a lion and the other's in prison. 790 00:46:08,623 --> 00:46:10,791 Let's get back to what we were doing. 791 00:46:10,793 --> 00:46:14,128 Earlier on, we were at a Jordanian special forces training base 792 00:46:14,130 --> 00:46:16,630 learning to be super army soldiers. 793 00:46:16,632 --> 00:46:20,568 And we pick up the action as we rush towards the hijacked airliner 794 00:46:20,570 --> 00:46:24,474 to rescue a VIP and take them to safety. 795 00:46:36,085 --> 00:46:38,086 Let me talk you through the plan. 796 00:46:38,088 --> 00:46:43,592 James and Richard will use the catering lorry as an assault vehicle. 797 00:46:43,592 --> 00:46:46,161 And then, after we've rescued the VIP, 798 00:46:46,161 --> 00:46:50,199 we'll use the Audi as a getaway car. 799 00:46:54,670 --> 00:46:57,572 Now what we're doing here, very cleverly, 800 00:46:57,572 --> 00:46:59,541 is we're going round the back of the plane 801 00:46:59,541 --> 00:47:02,376 because planes don't have rear windows 802 00:47:02,378 --> 00:47:05,746 or door mirrors, so they won't see us sneaking up. 803 00:47:05,748 --> 00:47:07,449 Stealthy, you see. 804 00:47:08,684 --> 00:47:11,018 Hammond, we're manoeuvring in. 805 00:47:11,019 --> 00:47:13,255 - OK. - Dab the brakes. 806 00:47:16,559 --> 00:47:18,427 Right, we are in position. 807 00:47:18,427 --> 00:47:22,996 James is gonna lift me on this platform to the door, 808 00:47:22,998 --> 00:47:24,532 then we go in. 809 00:47:24,534 --> 00:47:26,835 Right, are you ready? 810 00:47:26,835 --> 00:47:28,702 I'm ready to lower the jacks. 811 00:47:28,704 --> 00:47:30,206 Absolute stealth. 812 00:47:41,951 --> 00:47:43,818 I think the terrorists 813 00:47:43,818 --> 00:47:45,887 are going to notice this assault. 814 00:48:03,938 --> 00:48:08,777 I think the terrorists are going to notice this assault. 815 00:48:08,777 --> 00:48:11,880 Which is why I shall now cause a diversion. 816 00:48:14,583 --> 00:48:17,518 I'm gonna make a smoking doughnut in front of the plane 817 00:48:17,519 --> 00:48:19,755 to distract the terrorists. 818 00:48:22,657 --> 00:48:24,992 Oh, no, this is a disaster. 819 00:48:24,994 --> 00:48:28,297 Even when you turn the traction control off, 820 00:48:28,297 --> 00:48:29,864 it isn't fully off, 821 00:48:29,864 --> 00:48:34,503 so you just get miles and miles of dreary understeer. 822 00:48:34,503 --> 00:48:36,706 Bad mark for Audi here. 823 00:48:40,510 --> 00:48:42,543 Come on! 824 00:48:42,545 --> 00:48:45,079 The only good thing is the terrorists will be looking 825 00:48:45,079 --> 00:48:46,280 out of the cockpit windows 826 00:48:46,282 --> 00:48:48,483 thinking, "Why is that Audi 827 00:48:48,483 --> 00:48:51,219 understeering around like that?" 828 00:48:51,221 --> 00:48:53,655 Right! Go low! 829 00:49:00,230 --> 00:49:01,663 Here I come! 830 00:49:01,664 --> 00:49:05,300 Cry havoc and let slip the dog of understeer! 831 00:49:20,349 --> 00:49:23,518 Chaps, I have located the VIP 832 00:49:23,518 --> 00:49:25,653 and it is the Queen of England. 833 00:49:25,655 --> 00:49:27,688 I don't like the Royal Family. 834 00:49:27,690 --> 00:49:31,260 James, now is not the time for your republican views. 835 00:49:31,260 --> 00:49:34,496 Ma'am, we are an elite fighting force. 836 00:49:34,496 --> 00:49:36,264 We have an Audi outside. We will... 837 00:49:41,135 --> 00:49:42,836 Why did you shoot Hammond? 838 00:49:42,838 --> 00:49:44,539 He was being annoying. 839 00:49:49,143 --> 00:49:52,112 That's how you do it! 840 00:49:54,284 --> 00:49:57,286 Ma'am, we are an elite fighting force. 841 00:49:57,286 --> 00:49:59,387 We have an Audi outside. We will... 842 00:50:04,659 --> 00:50:07,362 - Did you shoot May? - Well, he shot me! 843 00:50:11,367 --> 00:50:14,001 That's how you do it! 844 00:50:14,003 --> 00:50:17,972 Somehow in our next attempt, Hammond ended up on the wing. 845 00:50:20,041 --> 00:50:25,414 Oh, I see. You wanna do this the old-fashioned way. 846 00:50:25,414 --> 00:50:27,682 OK, let's dance. 847 00:50:29,452 --> 00:50:30,786 Aagh! 848 00:50:37,460 --> 00:50:40,193 Ma'am, we are an elite fighting force. 849 00:50:40,195 --> 00:50:43,998 We have an Audi waiting outside to get you to safety. 850 00:50:43,998 --> 00:50:46,467 - And what do you do? - I just said. 851 00:50:46,469 --> 00:50:48,902 We are an elite fighting force. 852 00:50:48,903 --> 00:50:51,440 We have an Audi waiting outside to get you to safety. 853 00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:53,307 - You'll like it, it's German. - Like you are. 854 00:50:53,309 --> 00:50:56,545 Thank you, James. Are all the terrorists dead back there? 855 00:50:56,545 --> 00:50:58,947 - Everybody's dead back there. - Good man. 856 00:50:58,947 --> 00:51:01,416 Your Majesty, if you'd like to follow us. 857 00:51:09,358 --> 00:51:11,960 What was that? 858 00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:14,362 He's just shot the Queen in the back of the head. 859 00:51:14,364 --> 00:51:16,898 Well, now what we gonna do? 860 00:51:18,467 --> 00:51:20,503 Oh... 861 00:51:23,905 --> 00:51:27,577 Go. I'll have that, thank you very much. 862 00:51:29,110 --> 00:51:32,246 Having finally got the Queen into the car, 863 00:51:32,246 --> 00:51:34,884 we were now faced with a perilous drive to the embassy. 864 00:51:37,686 --> 00:51:41,456 However, this did at least mean I could get back to my day job. 865 00:51:43,057 --> 00:51:46,927 I'll talk you through the car. This is the S8 Plus. 866 00:51:48,931 --> 00:51:52,166 Plus means it has 80 more horsepower than the standard car. 867 00:51:52,166 --> 00:51:56,137 That means 0-60 in 3.8 seconds, 868 00:51:56,137 --> 00:51:58,672 top speed: 190. 869 00:51:58,673 --> 00:52:00,842 How very interesting. 870 00:52:04,414 --> 00:52:08,115 The immense power is harnessed not only by all-wheel drive, 871 00:52:08,117 --> 00:52:10,418 but also by ceramic brakes. 872 00:52:11,786 --> 00:52:14,322 And an electronic differential. 873 00:52:14,322 --> 00:52:18,025 There's a time and a place for talking about that stuff, mate! 874 00:52:18,027 --> 00:52:19,994 Sitting behind a six-foot-five-inch driver 875 00:52:19,994 --> 00:52:22,496 means that rear leg room is rather at a premium. 876 00:52:22,498 --> 00:52:25,833 Having said that, however, for a high-performance saloon, 877 00:52:25,835 --> 00:52:27,902 the ride quality is really rather good. 878 00:52:27,902 --> 00:52:30,304 Will you two stop reviewing the car? 879 00:52:32,974 --> 00:52:35,242 Do you have an opinion, the Queen? 880 00:52:35,244 --> 00:52:36,878 Not now! 881 00:52:40,583 --> 00:52:42,518 Hold it steady, I'm gonna shoot them. 882 00:52:45,688 --> 00:52:48,590 Shoot him in the face! 883 00:52:48,590 --> 00:52:51,525 Have you come far? 884 00:52:56,666 --> 00:52:59,467 The Living Daylights. Transporter 2 and 3. 885 00:52:59,469 --> 00:53:00,534 Taken. Ronin. 886 00:53:00,536 --> 00:53:02,536 Why are you listing films? 887 00:53:02,538 --> 00:53:06,740 Because all those films had a big Audi saloon in them going quickly. 888 00:53:06,742 --> 00:53:10,612 It is the car of choice for the Hollywood hero. 889 00:53:11,780 --> 00:53:13,047 Shut up. 890 00:53:16,851 --> 00:53:19,353 What's the top speed of that thing, James? 891 00:53:19,353 --> 00:53:20,889 About 90 miles an hour. 892 00:53:20,889 --> 00:53:24,559 Well, here is a top tip for Hollywood heroes. 893 00:53:25,827 --> 00:53:27,596 If you're being chased by a car 894 00:53:27,597 --> 00:53:29,498 which is slower than the car you're in, 895 00:53:29,498 --> 00:53:34,503 simply drive faster than it. 896 00:53:34,503 --> 00:53:38,338 See, that's what Nick Cage ought to have thought about, really, in The Rock. 897 00:53:38,340 --> 00:53:41,842 And that man in Ronin, with the S8 chasing the Citroen. 898 00:53:41,844 --> 00:53:43,945 Stop talking about films! 899 00:53:43,945 --> 00:53:45,947 There's a bogey waxing our tail. 900 00:53:45,947 --> 00:53:48,115 - Oh, God! - Gonna shoot its petrol tank. 901 00:53:48,117 --> 00:53:52,954 James, there's no point shooting it. Petrol only blows up in films. 902 00:54:01,931 --> 00:54:04,164 Well, that's not strictly accurate. 903 00:54:04,166 --> 00:54:07,001 - Where the bloody hell is the embassy? - Go down here. 904 00:54:08,538 --> 00:54:10,539 - No, this is rubbish. - There it is. 905 00:54:10,539 --> 00:54:12,172 There it is! 906 00:54:12,173 --> 00:54:15,610 Right, you get the Queen to safety. I'll cover you. 907 00:54:15,610 --> 00:54:18,045 - OK, I'm on it. - Right, good. Go, go, go! 908 00:54:18,047 --> 00:54:19,313 Go, go, go! 909 00:54:19,313 --> 00:54:20,614 Your Majesty. 910 00:54:20,615 --> 00:54:23,284 Really quickly, Your Majesty. 911 00:54:25,219 --> 00:54:26,255 We can't see. 912 00:54:41,235 --> 00:54:42,771 Come on, Jeremy, come on! 913 00:54:42,771 --> 00:54:45,206 I'm doing my best! 914 00:54:46,641 --> 00:54:49,143 In the plums! 915 00:54:49,143 --> 00:54:50,378 Oh, no! 916 00:54:50,378 --> 00:54:51,847 Just keep moving! 917 00:54:54,684 --> 00:54:56,585 They've done it again! 918 00:54:56,585 --> 00:54:58,619 James, you're missing this! 919 00:54:58,621 --> 00:55:00,655 You cannot modernise the royalty, 920 00:55:00,655 --> 00:55:05,659 because royalty is, at the very best, a medieval concept. 921 00:55:07,228 --> 00:55:08,896 Oh! Shooting! 922 00:55:08,898 --> 00:55:11,766 That's gonna sting! He's still coming! 923 00:55:11,766 --> 00:55:13,400 Keep going! 924 00:55:13,402 --> 00:55:14,969 Mind the mines! 925 00:55:20,809 --> 00:55:22,409 He's still going! 926 00:55:44,833 --> 00:55:46,969 James, he's dead. 927 00:55:48,737 --> 00:55:52,472 No, wait a minute. He's going again! He's moving again! 928 00:55:52,474 --> 00:55:54,175 Jeremy, come on, you can do it! 929 00:55:54,175 --> 00:55:56,409 Come on, keep going! Come on. 930 00:55:56,411 --> 00:55:57,945 - This is it. - Hammond... 931 00:55:57,947 --> 00:55:59,547 There's the finish line! 932 00:55:59,547 --> 00:56:00,981 Am I going the right way? 933 00:56:00,983 --> 00:56:04,686 More or less. Roll over it. You can do it. 934 00:56:04,686 --> 00:56:07,387 Yes! We have done it. 935 00:56:11,927 --> 00:56:13,795 Have you come far? 936 00:56:21,469 --> 00:56:26,074 A fighting force. An unbelievable fighting force. 937 00:56:27,309 --> 00:56:30,010 We actually managed to complete that course 938 00:56:30,012 --> 00:56:32,480 in nine hours and 48 minutes. 939 00:56:32,481 --> 00:56:37,818 And that's only nine-and-a-half hours slower than the actual soldiers. 940 00:56:37,820 --> 00:56:39,887 Can I just ask, how many times were you shot? 941 00:56:39,889 --> 00:56:42,090 - What, on the run in? - On the way to the embassy. 942 00:56:42,090 --> 00:56:46,360 Er... 17 to the torso, two to the... plum set. 943 00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:48,262 And you lived? 944 00:56:48,262 --> 00:56:50,699 Well, obviously, James, yes, look, I lived. 945 00:56:50,699 --> 00:56:54,902 He did. And on that terrible disappointment, it is time to end. 946 00:56:54,903 --> 00:56:56,905 Yes, it is. Thank you so much for watching. 947 00:56:56,905 --> 00:56:59,373 See you somewhere next week. Goodbye! 948 00:57:03,760 --> 00:57:08,760 Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com