1
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:06,067
Where is my desk?

2
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:09,037
That is weird.

3
00:00:09,277 --> 00:00:12,474
This is not funny. This
is totally unprofessional.

4
00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:14,070
Okay, well, you're the one
who lost the desk.

5
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:15,410
I didn't lose my desk.

6
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:18,145
Hey, calm down. Where was
the last place you saw it?

7
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:20,380
Okay, who moved my desk?

8
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:21,853
I think you should
retrace your steps.

9
00:00:21,923 --> 00:00:24,858
Okay, I am going
to tell Michael

10
00:00:24,926 --> 00:00:27,895
and this entire office
will be punished.

11
00:00:28,663 --> 00:00:29,891
Colder.

12
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:33,691
Warmer.

13
00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:36,467
A little warmer.

14
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,262
There you go. Warmer.

15
00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:41,167
Warmer.

16
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,370
Warmer. Warmer. Warmer.

17
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:44,672
Cold. Cold. Cold.

18
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:45,871
Back up.

19
00:00:49,784 --> 00:00:51,752
Warmer. Hot. Red hot.

20
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:54,151
Hot. Very hot.

21
00:00:56,000 --> 00:01:02,074
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==-

22
00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:09,500
Dwight Schrute.
Hi, Dwight.

23
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:13,169
What sort of discounts are we
giving on the 20-Ib. White bond?

24
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,470
Jim, I've given you this
information, like, 20 times.

25
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:16,771
I know.

26
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:21,846
It's by the ream?

27
00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:22,940
Yeah. Ream...

28
00:01:23,017 --> 00:01:24,985
It is now $9.78,

29
00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:26,781
so it's a discount of 7%.

30
00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:29,521
Okay, thank you.
Got to get back to work.

31
00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:35,858
Wash your hands, Kevin.

32
00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:11,790
Right.

33
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,697
Oh, let me just check the
pricing list. Hold on one second.

34
00:02:14,769 --> 00:02:17,704
Sensei, hello,
it's Sempai.

35
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,234
Dwight.

36
00:02:20,775 --> 00:02:22,208
You know what, let me
give you a call right back.

37
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:25,245
I'm gonna find it and then
I'll call you back. Thanks.

38
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:28,912
Yes, I just had a question...
Yes, Sensei.

39
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,949
Was that your mom?

40
00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:38,683
No, that was my sensei.

41
00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:41,060
Oh, I thought it was your mom.

42
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:45,121
I am now Sempai,
which is Assistant Sensei.

43
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,157
Assistant to the Sensei,
that's pretty cool.

44
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:48,292
Assistant Sensei.

45
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:49,393
Okay.

46
00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:52,803
I am a practitioner
of Goju-Ryu Karate

47
00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:54,634
here in Scranton.

48
00:02:55,810 --> 00:02:56,970
SENSEl: Two!

49
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:58,542
Dwight, snap your kick back.

50
00:02:58,612 --> 00:02:59,601
Three!

51
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:04,450
My sensei, Ira, recently
promoted me to purple belt.

52
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:07,579
And gave me the duties
of a sempai.

53
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:11,419
Not that a lot of people here
in America know what a sempai is.

54
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:14,586
But it's equally
as respected as a sensei.

55
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,028
I don't wanna stay
until 7:00 again this year.

56
00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:25,303
I don't really have any
control over that, Stanley.

57
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:34,279
Michael tends to procrastinate
a bit whenever he has to do work.

58
00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:39,283
Time cards, he has to
sign these every Friday.

59
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:42,186
Purchase orders have to be
approved at the end of every month.

60
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:44,156
And expense reports,

61
00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:48,020
all he has to do is initial
these at the end of every quarter.

62
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:51,892
But once a year it all falls on
the same Friday. That's today.

63
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,559
I call it the perfect storm.

64
00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:56,966
I don't wanna work

65
00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:59,562
I just wanna bang
on this mug all day

66
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,699
Did you ask me here
for any specific reason?

67
00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:03,606
Yes, I did.

68
00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:05,301
Here's the dizzle.

69
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:09,313
I have a very top-secret
mission for you.

70
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:12,682
I want you to update all the
emergency contact information.

71
00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:14,552
Why is that secret?

72
00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:18,183
Hello. Oh, God. Busywork.
Oh, get away, cretin.

73
00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:20,293
I put stickers,
so you know where to sign.

74
00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:21,919
Yes, thanks,
I know where to sign.

75
00:04:21,996 --> 00:04:23,054
It's just that
last year you...

76
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:26,190
Yeah, well, last year they were
out of order, weren't they, Pam?

77
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:30,135
Well, the last pick-up for
overnight deliveries is at 7:00.

78
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:33,330
So you need to have them
signed by then, or much earlier.

79
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:35,341
Chillax, Pam.

80
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:38,503
Stop Pam-MS-ing.
That's pretty good.

81
00:04:38,913 --> 00:04:41,746
Actually I'm sending Ryan
on a top-secret mission.

82
00:04:42,016 --> 00:04:43,506
Tell her what it is.

83
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:45,715
Updating emergency contacts.

84
00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:49,186
Well, is that really
a priority?

85
00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:51,383
Is it a priority?
Oh, I don't know.

86
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,783
What if there's
a tornado, Pam?

87
00:04:53,928 --> 00:04:55,953
People's legs
are crushed under rubble?

88
00:04:56,030 --> 00:04:58,555
Please, would you be so kind
as to call my wife?

89
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:02,329
No, I can't, because we don't have
any emergency contact information,

90
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:04,598
because Pam said
it wasn't a priority.

91
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:06,162
Think. Think with
your head, Pam.

92
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,299
Okay, well, she walks out.

93
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:10,036
That's the problem
with being a boss,

94
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,738
is that when you are tough
they resent you

95
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,373
and when you are cool
they walk all over you.

96
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,042
Catch-22.

97
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:20,042
Catch-22. Yes.

98
00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:25,824
Why don't you give me your
contact information to start with?

99
00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:27,520
Okay, what's your cell?

100
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,962
Larissa Halpert.

101
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:31,758
What's her address?

102
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,265
117 Von Bergen Street.

103
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:35,724
Hello?

104
00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:37,168
Hey, Ryan!

105
00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,766
This is Michael Jackson

106
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,707
calling from Wonderland.

107
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,446
You mean Neverland?

108
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:48,981
This is Tito.

109
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:53,880
What?

110
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,120
Calling from...

111
00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:01,188
Your major and minor lines
cross at a ridge.

112
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:03,288
That sucks.

113
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:05,556
You're making this up as
you go along, aren't you?

114
00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:07,396
I am just following
the website.

115
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:09,902
Well, at least
I don't have cavities.

116
00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:12,230
Yes, you have
very nice teeth.

117
00:06:12,306 --> 00:06:13,364
Thanks.

118
00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:15,798
Who's your emergency contact?

119
00:06:17,011 --> 00:06:18,137
Stacey.

120
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:24,042
Pick up!

121
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:27,846
Hello?

122
00:06:29,023 --> 00:06:30,923
This is Mike Tyson.

123
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:35,354
Hey, Dwight?

124
00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:39,594
As sempai, do you ever think
that there's gonna be a day

125
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:43,000
where humans and robots
can peacefully coexist?

126
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:46,601
Impossible.
The way they're programmed...

127
00:06:49,343 --> 00:06:50,708
You're mocking me.
No, I'm not.

128
00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:53,508
Well, let me offer you
a little piece of advice.

129
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,944
I am not afraid
to make an example out of you.

130
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,780
Well, that's not advice.

131
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,843
What advice sounds
like is this:

132
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:04,653
Don't ever bring
your purple belt to work

133
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,919
because someone might
steal it.

134
00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:08,018
Okay, give that back to me.

135
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,221
Okay. Say "please. "

136
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:10,923
No. That is not a toy.

137
00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:12,158
Please?
Please!

138
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:14,462
Good. And it absolutely
is a toy.

139
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:15,559
Arigato.

140
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,228
Arigato. This is not a toy.

141
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:20,838
This is a message
for the entire office.

142
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:24,910
So that everyone can see that I am
capable of physically dominating them.

143
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:30,609
And this is more of a
ying-yang thing.

144
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:33,676
The "Michael" is all cursives,
"Scott" all caps.

145
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:37,620
Left brain, right brain,
or duality of man.

146
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,850
Could you practice
on the forms?

147
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,429
No women or children,
unless provoked.

148
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:47,524
Okay.

149
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:48,727
Roy.

150
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,167
Warehouse guy,
doesn't count.

151
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:51,226
Okay.

152
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:53,398
Michael. Could you
beat up Michael?

153
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:54,805
Yeah, I don't think
that would happen.

154
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:55,899
Because we're friends.

155
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,035
Because I would
kick his ass.

156
00:07:58,112 --> 00:08:00,273
Well, Dwight's
a purple belt, so...

157
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:01,405
So?

158
00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:03,714
I've beat up black belts.
Yeah.

159
00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:05,809
And how did you know
they were black belts?

160
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:07,353
They told me after.

161
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:11,917
See, I used to run with a very
tough crowd, street fighter types.

162
00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:16,589
Real, real bad people.
I'm just lucky I got out.

163
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:19,360
Is your wife still
your contact?

164
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:21,533
Ex-wife. Yeah.

165
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,266
Her last name's Becker now.

166
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,164
Okay.

167
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:29,366
You don't need to write "Ex. "

168
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:34,108
And after that, nobody ever messed
with the Damn Rascals ever again.

169
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,046
Sounds tough.

170
00:08:36,150 --> 00:08:38,584
When you're a Jet, you're
a Jet all the way, right?

171
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:39,710
You're a jet?

172
00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:41,152
Have you signed
the expense reports yet?

173
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,813
Yes, in theory I have.

174
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:45,518
I just need to cross
some t's and dot some i's.

175
00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:48,359
All right.

176
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:52,826
I am going to be in my office,
if anybody needs me.

177
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,000
Michael!
Oh, wow!

178
00:08:56,170 --> 00:08:58,434
Sleeper hold!
Bedtime for Bonzo.

179
00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,369
You are the weakest link!

180
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:07,069
I'm friends with everybody
in this office.

181
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:10,014
We're all best friends.
I love everybody here.

182
00:09:10,284 --> 00:09:15,244
But sometimes your best friends
start coming into work late,

183
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:18,753
and start having dentist appointments
that aren't dentist appointments,

184
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:22,990
and that is when it's nice to let
them know that you could beat them up.

185
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:24,893
Just hit me, you'll see.

186
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,433
I can't, 'cause
I just got a manicure, so...

187
00:09:27,501 --> 00:09:29,492
Oh, queer! Eye...

188
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:32,505
Queer Eye, that's a good show.
Important show.

189
00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:34,004
Go ahead. Do it.

190
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,337
Just have Dwight punch you.
Oh, yeah.

191
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:38,434
Well, that would be kind
of worthless because I know

192
00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:40,503
a ton of 14-year-old girls
who could kick his ass.

193
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,378
You know a ton
of 14-year-old girls?

194
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:43,746
What belt are they?

195
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,808
Look, Dwight is a wuss.

196
00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:47,520
When we rented Armageddon...
No.

197
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,953
...he cried at the end of it.
He did.

198
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,149
Michael, I told you. That was
because it was New Year's Eve

199
00:09:51,225 --> 00:09:53,625
and it started to snow
at exactly midnight.

200
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:56,356
"Bruce Willis, they're gonna
leave him on the asteroid. "

201
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:57,624
Okay, I'll punch you.

202
00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:58,858
Oh, okay, here we go.

203
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,399
All right, come on.

204
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:09,968
Did I want to harm Michael? The
one man I've been hired to protect?

205
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,407
No, I did not.

206
00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:12,976
Are you okay?
Yes.

207
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,711
Are you sure you're all right? Yep, yep.

208
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,114
Thank you.

209
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,981
I come from a long line
of fighters.

210
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:28,357
My maternal grandfather was
the toughest guy I ever knew.

211
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:31,295
World War II veteran,
killed 20 men,

212
00:10:31,365 --> 00:10:34,493
then spent the rest of the war
in an Allied prison camp.

213
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:39,761
My father battled blood pressure
and obesity all his life.

214
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,502
Different kind of fight.

215
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,641
Okay, he has to be stopped.

216
00:10:45,913 --> 00:10:48,643
Please, please, please,
please, just ask Michael.

217
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:51,912
I don't know.

218
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,256
Okay, I'll buy you
a bag of chips.

219
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,586
French onion?

220
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:00,753
Obviously. Why are you spinning around?

221
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,158
Okay.
Yes.

222
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,930
Take this pen, okay,

223
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:06,855
stab me with it.

224
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:08,291
Go away.

225
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:09,665
I just have a quick question.

226
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:11,636
I haven't signed them, okay?

227
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:13,672
No, it's not that.

228
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:17,807
I was just wondering, since I'm
probably gonna have to stay late,

229
00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:21,814
could you ask Dwight to stay late,
too, so he can walk me to my car?

230
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:25,684
Come in.

231
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,118
Pam, I hate to
break this to you,

232
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,488
but Dwight can't stop you
from being mugged.

233
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,254
He's just not tough enough.

234
00:11:34,328 --> 00:11:35,795
He's a purple belt,
that's really high.

235
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,523
Oh, God, I could
beat up Dwight.

236
00:11:37,598 --> 00:11:39,225
That's ridiculous.
I can murder him.

237
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:40,891
It's just that
out there you...

238
00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:42,196
Oh, is that what
they're saying?

239
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:43,293
Yeah, kind of.

240
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,201
Okay, all right.

241
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:47,705
Where's Dwight?
Kitchen.

242
00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:48,866
Okay.

243
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:54,540
All right. Here we go.

244
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,616
Good. Wow, that's actually
pretty cool, Dwight.

245
00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:59,379
Excellent. Now, watch.
Let me take you from behind.

246
00:11:59,453 --> 00:12:00,579
What?
Watch out, Kelly,

247
00:12:00,654 --> 00:12:02,053
he might sucker punch you.

248
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:03,384
I didn't sucker punch you,
Michael.

249
00:12:03,457 --> 00:12:04,481
No, really?

250
00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:06,719
In case you'd remember,
I was defending my honor.

251
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:07,987
Oh, is that it?
Like a samurai.

252
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,154
Yeah. Really? Well, the offer, Dwight,

253
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:13,063
was for one punch,
which I absorbed.

254
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,567
I had no idea that there
would be a second punch.

255
00:12:15,636 --> 00:12:17,467
So, catch-22.

256
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:18,561
Okay, fine.

257
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:22,599
Tit for tit. Give it your
best shot. Two punches. Go!

258
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:26,435
Look, if we were in a bar right
now, there would be two punches.

259
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,105
Me punching you
and you hitting the floor.

260
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:29,705
No, I'd block your first punch... Yeah?

261
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:30,807
...rendering you ineffective.
Oh, really?

262
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:31,873
Yeah.
You know what,

263
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,544
you're just lucky
that we're at work right now.

264
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,315
What about, uh,
Dwight's dojo?

265
00:12:35,389 --> 00:12:36,913
No, they just have classes.

266
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,821
No, it's free during the
day. It's fine. Look...

267
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,120
I got the key.

268
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:41,490
Hey, Michael.
Hey, Toby.

269
00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:43,051
Any word on those time cards?
I have an idea.

270
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,722
Why don't you leave right now?

271
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:47,323
Why don't you walk away
from the room, okay?

272
00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:50,800
Fine. We'll go at lunch.

273
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:54,802
Pam, make an announcement.

274
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:57,199
Figure out car pools.

275
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:02,841
Well, we're all getting
excited to see this fight.

276
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:06,545
The Albany branch is working right
through lunch to prevent downsizing,

277
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:10,215
but Michael, he decided
to extend our lunch by an hour

278
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:13,987
so that we could all go down to
the dojo and watch him fight Dwight.

279
00:13:14,695 --> 00:13:18,482
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight!

280
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:19,964
I'm coming. Fight!

281
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,335
Sorry.

282
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,369
I recognize that.

283
00:13:34,916 --> 00:13:37,111
That is Japanese
for California Roll.

284
00:13:37,385 --> 00:13:38,409
No, it's not.

285
00:13:38,486 --> 00:13:39,748
I think it is,
a guy told me about that.

286
00:13:39,821 --> 00:13:41,516
Actually it's a symbol for
eternal discipline.

287
00:13:41,589 --> 00:13:42,613
Oh.

288
00:13:42,957 --> 00:13:44,390
Wow. That is
really interesting.

289
00:13:44,459 --> 00:13:45,721
What?

290
00:13:45,793 --> 00:13:48,284
Your love line... I'm just
kidding. I can't see anything.

291
00:13:48,363 --> 00:13:49,591
Look closer.

292
00:13:50,632 --> 00:13:52,259
Oh, okay.
One point for me.

293
00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:53,527
Tied up.
Oh, you're dead.

294
00:13:53,601 --> 00:13:55,967
What? What are you gonna do?
Bring it, Beesley, bring it.

295
00:13:57,105 --> 00:13:58,470
Oh, yeah. Good move.

296
00:13:58,540 --> 00:14:00,235
Not such an ultimate
fighter now, huh?

297
00:14:00,308 --> 00:14:02,902
Hey, put me down.
Put me down!

298
00:14:03,044 --> 00:14:05,604
Oh, my God!
Hey, put me down! Hey!

299
00:14:10,919 --> 00:14:12,716
Okay, gentlemen,
listen up.

300
00:14:13,221 --> 00:14:16,622
After a clean strike to the
chest, stomach or kidneys,

301
00:14:16,758 --> 00:14:18,749
I will separate you
and award a point.

302
00:14:18,826 --> 00:14:21,021
The first person to three
wins, all right? Yes, Sensei.

303
00:14:21,095 --> 00:14:22,255
Lot of rules, lot of rules.

304
00:14:22,330 --> 00:14:24,855
On the street, we didn't
have any rules. Maybe one.

305
00:14:24,933 --> 00:14:27,231
No kicks to the groin,
home for dinner.

306
00:14:29,170 --> 00:14:30,933
Hey, what the hell
was that?

307
00:14:31,005 --> 00:14:32,029
Yes!

308
00:14:32,106 --> 00:14:33,368
Dwight, one point.
No way! Okay!

309
00:14:33,441 --> 00:14:34,430
Eat it!

310
00:14:34,509 --> 00:14:35,771
All right, that's the way
you wanna do it?

311
00:14:35,843 --> 00:14:38,471
You wanna play dirty, huh?
Okay, game on, man!

312
00:14:38,546 --> 00:14:39,672
Sweep the leg.

313
00:14:39,747 --> 00:14:41,078
Yeah, I'm coming
at you, man!

314
00:14:47,355 --> 00:14:49,823
Okay, purple belt, okay.

315
00:14:49,891 --> 00:14:51,222
I got it.
No.

316
00:14:51,292 --> 00:14:53,385
I got his pants.
That was my pants.

317
00:14:53,461 --> 00:14:55,122
No points for pants.

318
00:14:55,697 --> 00:14:59,428
Dwight, you have... No, look. No,
you have something, you have some...

319
00:14:59,867 --> 00:15:01,926
God, you look like
such an idiot!

320
00:15:10,878 --> 00:15:12,778
Clean technique, gentlemen.
Come on, do that again!

321
00:15:12,847 --> 00:15:14,576
Do that again, I dare you.

322
00:15:16,351 --> 00:15:18,615
Okay, break. Break!
No holding! Break.

323
00:15:18,820 --> 00:15:21,516
Oh, you can't see!
You can't see!

324
00:15:21,856 --> 00:15:24,256
One point, two points,
three points!

325
00:15:24,492 --> 00:15:25,959
Break!
How many points was that?

326
00:15:26,027 --> 00:15:27,790
I win! I win!

327
00:15:29,364 --> 00:15:31,924
No, you didn't! No, you...

328
00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:34,632
Eight points, nine points.

329
00:15:35,903 --> 00:15:37,200
Stop it! No!

330
00:15:37,538 --> 00:15:39,130
Come on, Michael!

331
00:15:39,207 --> 00:15:41,175
Open your mouth!
No, Michael!

332
00:15:56,958 --> 00:15:58,357
You talking to me?

333
00:15:58,860 --> 00:16:00,259
You talking to me?

334
00:16:01,162 --> 00:16:03,221
Raging Bull. Pacino.

335
00:16:03,331 --> 00:16:05,959
Oh, I want that footage,
I want it. I need it.

336
00:16:06,401 --> 00:16:09,529
Oh, I have to get back to
work. I have lots of work to...

337
00:16:09,671 --> 00:16:11,400
Check this out. Come here.

338
00:16:11,706 --> 00:16:12,866
There he is.

339
00:16:12,974 --> 00:16:16,842
Mr. Temp having lunch
by the car.

340
00:16:17,278 --> 00:16:20,805
Let us play with him.
This is going to be hilarious.

341
00:16:28,156 --> 00:16:30,556
Oh, we're playing phone tag.

342
00:16:31,359 --> 00:16:33,190
Seven new messages.

343
00:16:33,294 --> 00:16:34,818
First new message.;

344
00:16:34,896 --> 00:16:37,956
Hi, Ryan.
This is Saddam Hussein.

345
00:16:38,599 --> 00:16:39,623
Next message.;

346
00:16:39,701 --> 00:16:41,999
Hey, Ryan,
this is your girlfriend

347
00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:44,236
and I'm mad.

348
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:09,396
My emergency contact
is Todd Packer.

349
00:17:09,764 --> 00:17:11,994
Todd F. Packer.

350
00:17:12,767 --> 00:17:14,598
Know what the "F" stands for?
Fudge?

351
00:17:15,770 --> 00:17:18,034
Yeah. Come in.

352
00:17:18,372 --> 00:17:20,033
Oh, hey, Karate Kid.

353
00:17:20,341 --> 00:17:22,002
The Hilary Swank version.

354
00:17:22,076 --> 00:17:23,703
Hi. How are you?

355
00:17:24,278 --> 00:17:26,746
I need to change my
emergency contact information

356
00:17:26,814 --> 00:17:28,475
from Michael Scott.

357
00:17:28,683 --> 00:17:29,672
Okay, to what?

358
00:17:29,751 --> 00:17:30,877
Just put

359
00:17:32,253 --> 00:17:33,811
"The Hospital. "

360
00:17:34,155 --> 00:17:36,988
Contact number, just put 911.

361
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,689
He is such a sore loser.

362
00:17:40,795 --> 00:17:44,697
You heard, obviously, that I mopped
the floor with him this afternoon.

363
00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:47,793
You know what,

364
00:17:47,869 --> 00:17:50,463
do yourself a favor.
Just leave me as his contact

365
00:17:50,538 --> 00:17:52,403
and I will call the hospital.

366
00:17:52,473 --> 00:17:54,065
Cut out the middleman.

367
00:18:03,985 --> 00:18:05,782
Later, Jim.
Later, Kev.

368
00:18:12,693 --> 00:18:14,092
Have a good weekend.

369
00:18:14,162 --> 00:18:15,390
Yeah, you, too.

370
00:18:27,508 --> 00:18:28,566
Yeah?

371
00:18:28,643 --> 00:18:30,270
I have the emergency contacts.

372
00:18:30,344 --> 00:18:32,869
Just lay them on a chair.
I'll take it from here.

373
00:18:32,947 --> 00:18:35,575
So, what you up to
this weekend?

374
00:18:37,318 --> 00:18:38,683
Hanging out
with some friends, probably.

375
00:18:38,753 --> 00:18:40,914
Well, if you do anything
crazy, give me a shout.

376
00:18:40,988 --> 00:18:42,922
Yeah. All right,
I will see you Monday.

377
00:18:42,990 --> 00:18:44,014
All right.

378
00:18:44,959 --> 00:18:46,153
Bye.

379
00:18:54,001 --> 00:18:55,025
Dwight?

380
00:18:55,102 --> 00:18:57,127
Michael, did you finish yet?
This close.

381
00:18:57,205 --> 00:18:58,433
Dwight, may I speak
with you for a minute?

382
00:18:58,506 --> 00:18:59,530
I'm busy.

383
00:18:59,607 --> 00:19:01,837
Well, busier,
but I'm making the time.

384
00:19:01,909 --> 00:19:04,139
Michael, can't your
conversation wait till Monday?

385
00:19:04,212 --> 00:19:05,304
We wanna go home.

386
00:19:05,379 --> 00:19:07,711
Well, you don't even have
anybody to go home to, Toby, so...

387
00:19:07,782 --> 00:19:09,374
The shipping place
closes in a half hour.

388
00:19:09,450 --> 00:19:10,474
I know,

389
00:19:10,551 --> 00:19:14,146
but I have been carrying
the load on my back all day.

390
00:19:14,222 --> 00:19:17,589
And if everyone would
just chip in a little bit,

391
00:19:18,059 --> 00:19:19,720
it might help me out.

392
00:19:19,927 --> 00:19:22,794
What do you say? Let's
gang-bang this thing and go home.

393
00:19:22,864 --> 00:19:24,456
Good? Dwight.

394
00:19:31,606 --> 00:19:34,074
This is illegal.
I don't care.

395
00:19:37,545 --> 00:19:40,844
I have been testing you the
entire day. Did you know that?

396
00:19:43,417 --> 00:19:44,611
Of course.

397
00:19:44,919 --> 00:19:47,114
And I'm happy to say
that you passed.

398
00:19:48,055 --> 00:19:50,615
So, effective immediately,
I am promoting you

399
00:19:50,925 --> 00:19:54,884
from Assistant to the Regional
Manager, to Assistant Regional Manager.

400
00:19:58,332 --> 00:20:00,232
Michael, I don't know...

401
00:20:00,301 --> 00:20:01,325
I know,

402
00:20:01,402 --> 00:20:03,131
I know, I know, I know.

403
00:20:03,204 --> 00:20:05,764
I wouldn't be offering it if I
didn't think you could handle it.

404
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,068
I can handle it. I can.

405
00:20:07,141 --> 00:20:08,301
I know. Okay.

406
00:20:11,679 --> 00:20:14,705
So, I guess,
this will just be my office.

407
00:20:14,782 --> 00:20:17,683
No, no, title change only.

408
00:20:17,852 --> 00:20:19,911
I'll have Pam send out a memo. No, no.

409
00:20:19,987 --> 00:20:21,454
Three month
probationary period.

410
00:20:21,522 --> 00:20:24,355
Let's just not tell anybody
about this right now.

411
00:20:24,425 --> 00:20:27,417
Just a formality.
Absolutely. But not really.

412
00:20:27,862 --> 00:20:29,227
Michael,

413
00:20:32,867 --> 00:20:36,428
I have so much
to learn from you.

414
00:20:36,871 --> 00:20:38,133
Yes, you do.

415
00:20:41,943 --> 00:20:43,570
Thank you,

416
00:20:44,979 --> 00:20:46,139
Sensei.

417
00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:51,414
And, ditto.

418
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,917
I told Dwight
that there is honor in losing,

419
00:20:55,990 --> 00:20:58,720
which, as we all know,
is completely ridiculous.

420
00:20:59,026 --> 00:21:02,393
But there is, however, honor
in making a loser feel better,

421
00:21:02,530 --> 00:21:04,691
which is what
I just did for Dwight.

422
00:21:05,333 --> 00:21:08,029
Would I rather be feared
or loved?

423
00:21:09,070 --> 00:21:10,435
Easy. Both.

424
00:21:10,938 --> 00:21:13,839
I want people to be afraid
of how much they love me,

425
00:21:14,375 --> 00:21:17,242
and I think I proved that
today at the dojo.

426
00:21:17,378 --> 00:21:19,073
Typewriter torture!
Sensei!

427
00:21:19,146 --> 00:21:20,738
Typewriter torture!
Stop!

428
00:21:20,815 --> 00:21:22,146
Typewriter!

428
00:21:23,305 --> 00:22:23,199
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today