1
00:00:01,034 --> 00:00:02,001
It is Friday morning.

2
00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:03,836
And it is another beautiful day

3
00:00:03,838 --> 00:00:07,272
in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

4
00:00:08,441 --> 00:00:10,442
Oh, my God.

5
00:00:11,544 --> 00:00:12,644
Oh!

6
00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:19,018
Pick up, pick up,
pick up, pick up.

7
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:22,121
Oh, we have
a serious problem here.

8
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,155
All right, everybody.

9
00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,556
Lock the doors.
Turn off the lights.

10
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:25,691
Pretend you're not here.

11
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,526
Are we in danger?

12
00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:31,563
There's no time to think
about it. This is real.

13
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,966
Just shh, everybody.

14
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:40,839
Michael, should I call the...

15
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:42,941
What?

16
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:45,310
The I.T. tech guy and me

17
00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:48,680
did not get off
to a great start.

18
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:56,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

19
00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:24,116
Yeah, I tried
to install it myself,

20
00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:25,851
but you guys have these things

21
00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:28,253
so password-protected.

22
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,189
That just means you
have to enter your password.

23
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:31,490
Uh...

24
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,459
What's your password, Michael?

25
00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:35,394
Um, it's...

26
00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:38,564
Oh. 1, 2, 3, 4.
Yes.

27
00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:47,940
Michael...
Aah! Gah!

28
00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,641
Please don't do that.

29
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,076
Okay, I'm sorry.
What is going on in there?

30
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:53,645
Why is he here?
What are you doing?

31
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:54,913
I can't tell you.

32
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,014
You have to tell me.

33
00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:57,182
I don't have
to tell you anything.

34
00:01:57,184 --> 00:01:59,251
Look, Michael.

35
00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:01,353
I know you don't want to
have to think about this,

36
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:02,721
but if something were
to happen to you,

37
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,823
God forbid, then I would
need to know

38
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,125
in order to take over.

39
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,493
Dwight, nothing is
gonna happen to me. Okay?

40
00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:08,660
I'm in the best shape
of my life.

41
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:09,995
Look at at this. Grr!

42
00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:10,996
Yeah, but that doesn't matter.

43
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,264
You could get a brain aneurysm.

44
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,499
I'm not gonna...
Or hit by a car.

45
00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:15,000
Stop.
Or a bus or a train.

46
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:16,435
You could get poisoned.
Fall down a well.

47
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:17,970
Step on a mine. Choke.

48
00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:20,339
Okay, if I step on a mine
in Scranton, Pennsylvania,

49
00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:22,074
and die, you can have
my job. Okay?

50
00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:23,976
Why don't you just go away?

51
00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:25,210
There are certain things

52
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:27,846
a boss does not share
with his employees.

53
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:30,849
His salary.
That would depress them.

54
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,584
His bed.

55
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:37,990
And I am not going to tell them

56
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:39,625
that I'll be reading
their e-mails.

57
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,261
So how do you search?

58
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,429
By keyword phrase.

59
00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:46,632
Try profits.

60
00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,767
No, try Michael Scott.

61
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:52,638
Michael, boss, and funny.

62
00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:58,844
Oh, my God! Wow!

63
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,245
E-mail from Stanley.

64
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:02,881
Stanley.
Terribly nice guy.

65
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,316
"Sorry I didn't
write back sooner.

66
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,417
"I can't go to the game tonight

67
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,952
"because my boss
Michael is an ass

68
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:08,153
and making
me stay late."

69
00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:10,622
Well, Stanley's an ass.

70
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,391
Not one of our harder workers.

71
00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:19,798
Hey, what's the deal, Michael?

72
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,166
Why are you spying
on our computers?

73
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,001
Oh, no!

74
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,937
Everybody, Oscar's gone crazy.

75
00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:26,838
What other ghost stories
do you have for us?

76
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:30,075
That I'm a robot?

77
00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:33,378
I will destroy
everything in my path.

78
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,413
Actually, we just...

79
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:37,216
Boop! Beep! Bop!

80
00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,850
Okay.
Bonk!

81
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,987
Boop boop. Oil can.

82
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:44,690
Oil can.

83
00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,191
Tin Man.

84
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:48,694
Actually we just got
a memo from I.T.

85
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:50,462
saying you're doing
e-mail surveillance.

86
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:53,198
Oh, what? No, that defeats
the whole purpose.

87
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,400
So it's true? You have
access to our e-mails?

88
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,435
You know what the problem is?

89
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:57,569
I think I do.

90
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,438
The problem is that when people

91
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,440
hear the term "Big Brother"

92
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:04,276
they immediately think
it's scary or bad.

93
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:07,446
But I don't. I think,
"Wow. I love my Big Brother."

94
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:10,382
I gotta erase a lot of stuff.

95
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:13,619
A lot of stuff.

96
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:15,854
Oh, hey.
Just so you know.

97
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,723
If you have
any sensitive e-mails,

98
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:20,058
they need to be
deleted immediately.

99
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:21,059
I know.

100
00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,594
Good.

101
00:04:24,797 --> 00:04:25,931
Hey.

102
00:04:29,702 --> 00:04:31,036
Something just happened.

103
00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:33,605
Dwight just told Angela
that she has to delete

104
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,774
all of her sensitive
e-mails immediately.

105
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,076
What?
I know.

106
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:39,511
Hmm.

107
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:40,779
Do you think
that they're like...

108
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,614
No.
Right, no.

109
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,250
Ugh! Ew.

110
00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:46,385
Ew, ew, ew.

111
00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:49,621
Maybe.

112
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:53,325
It's like squishing a spider
under a book.

113
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:56,428
It's gonna be really gross,
but I have to look

114
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:59,031
and make sure
that it's really dead.

115
00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:03,035
So if you guys see anything...

116
00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:05,437
Hey, Dwight? Um...

117
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:07,172
My friend is kind of into

118
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:08,707
these two girls
that he works with.

119
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:11,743
Nice.
One is tall and brunette.

120
00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:15,047
And the other one
is short and blonde

121
00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:18,150
and perky
and kind of judgmental.

122
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:19,951
Who do you think
he should choose?

123
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:24,456
Does he have access
to their medical records?

124
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:25,824
Um...

125
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,128
I think one of the greatest
things about modern America

126
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,597
is the computerization
of medical records.

127
00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:34,333
As a volunteer sheriff,
I can look up

128
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:38,437
anyone's psychiatric records
or surgical histories.

129
00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:40,105
Yeast infections.

130
00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:42,274
There are huge number

131
00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:43,975
of yeast infections
in this county.

132
00:05:45,611 --> 00:05:49,848
Probably because
we're down river

133
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,084
from that old bread factory.

134
00:05:52,086 --> 00:05:55,087
Meredith has an E-vite

135
00:05:55,089 --> 00:05:56,822
from Jim.

136
00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:59,825
"Barbecue at Jim's tonight."

137
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:03,895
Tonight? Wonder where
my e-vitation is?

138
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,564
Click on guest list.

139
00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:07,632
Angela. Stanley. Oscar.

140
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:12,537
Meredith. Phyllis.
Kevin. Creed.

141
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,139
Must be...

142
00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:18,076
No.

143
00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:25,217
Hey, Angela.
How's it going?

144
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,718
It's okay.

145
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,953
Listen, are you bringing anyone

146
00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:29,287
to Jim's party tonight?

147
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,856
No. Are we supposed to?

148
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:33,859
No. I mean I don't know.
I don't think so.

149
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:36,495
Hmm. Excuse me.

150
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:38,063
Oh.

151
00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:51,443
There's always a distance

152
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,478
between a boss
and the employees.

153
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,581
It is just nature's rule.

154
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,483
It's intimidation, mostly.

155
00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:01,052
It's the awareness
that they are not me.

156
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:05,223
I do think that
I am very approachable

157
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:08,293
as one of the guys.

158
00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:10,629
But maybe I need to be
even approachabler.

159
00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:13,765
Ahem.

160
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,467
That's pretty, um...
Yeah.

161
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:19,070
Are you gonna eat with us?

162
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:20,539
Of course.

163
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:21,773
Hanging with my crew.

164
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,142
Crew that I am one of.

165
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:28,380
Hanging with my Cup of Noodles.

166
00:07:28,382 --> 00:07:30,549
This is a meal in a cup
right here.

167
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,918
Hot, tasty.
Reminds me of college.

168
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:36,455
Lived on this stuff.
Brain food. Mmm.

169
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,790
You know what I really,
really miss about college?

170
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,460
The parties.
Everybody'd go.

171
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:44,963
The athletes. The nerds.
The professors.

172
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,065
The professors would
go to the parties?

173
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:50,402
Yeah. They were the most fun.

174
00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:52,404
We always invited them.

175
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:57,008
It's true.
I'm having a party.

176
00:07:57,010 --> 00:08:00,011
I've got three cases
of imported beer.

177
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,746
Karaoke machine.

178
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:03,949
And I didn't invite Michael.

179
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:06,518
So three ingredients
for a great party.

180
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,986
And it's nothing personal.

181
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,387
I just think if he were there,

182
00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:10,589
people wouldn't be able
to relax.

183
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,257
You know, have fun.

184
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:14,526
And my roommate wants
to meet everybody.

185
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:17,429
Because I'm pretty sure
he thinks I'm making Dwight up.

186
00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:20,899
He is very real.

187
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:27,472
What?

188
00:08:30,743 --> 00:08:33,545
Oh! Yes!

189
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,313
Thank you.

190
00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:43,054
Question.

191
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,423
On the Internet, there are
several different options

192
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:46,658
to get to your house
for the party tonight.

193
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:49,928
Oh, um, no.
No, no, no. Keep that down.

194
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,162
Why?

195
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:53,965
Because not everybody
knows about the party.

196
00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:58,203
Like who?
Who doesn't know?

197
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,372
Um, Michael.

198
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,107
Why just Michael?

199
00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:06,378
'Cause it's a surprise.

200
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:07,846
Is it?
Mm-hmm.

201
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:08,847
Oh, that's perfect.

202
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,415
So don't tell.

203
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:12,284
I won't.
Okay.

204
00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:15,053
So, Dwight thinks that tonight

205
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,755
is a surprise party for Michael.

206
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:18,857
Really? That's great.
I know.

207
00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:20,892
Maybe we can get him
to hide and wait somewhere.

208
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:24,029
Oh, man.

209
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,363
Oh, you know what?
Speaking of which,

210
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:26,965
I was just trying
to get a handle on,

211
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,167
you know, numbers
for food and stuff.

212
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:30,869
So do you think
Roy's gonna come or...

213
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:32,470
Oh, no.
He can't make it.

214
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,639
Oh, okay. Cool.

215
00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:39,344
Here.
Hey.

216
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,279
Almost quitting time.

217
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:44,015
Yep. It's 4:00.

218
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,717
One more hour

219
00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:48,420
to take care of anything
you forgot to do.

220
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:54,125
Hey, I don't know if you
have any plans tonight,

221
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,194
but if you don't,
we could hang out.

222
00:09:58,731 --> 00:10:02,567
Oh, um... I can't.

223
00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:03,935
You have plans?
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I do.

224
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,870
Yeah, I do too, I do too.
Oh, you do?

225
00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:07,572
Big plans. I do, yeah.

226
00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:08,807
Because you just said
you wanted to hang out...

227
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,408
Tonight, I can't do it tonight.

228
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,944
No. Improv class.
I have improv class.

229
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,679
Hanging out with my improv buds.
Really?

230
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:16,181
Yeah. Oh, that sounds
like a lot of fun.

231
00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:17,916
Oh, it's the best.
It is the best.

232
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,517
I would not miss it
for the world.

233
00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:22,621
But if something else came up,
I would definitely not go.

234
00:10:25,057 --> 00:10:26,625
Improv sounds great.

235
00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:28,994
It is.

236
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,566
Okay.

237
00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:36,835
All right.

238
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,137
What?

239
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,939
I think Stanley just coughed.

240
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,750
Hey, Pam. Do you need me to walk
you to your vehicular transport?

241
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:52,751
No, thanks.

242
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:53,918
All right.

243
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,153
Oscar, you have
big plans tonight...

244
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,655
I'm on a call.
Okay.

245
00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:59,357
Kevin. Big man, big man.
What are you doing tonight?

246
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:00,358
Where you off to?

247
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,626
My brother is in town

248
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:04,796
and we are going to see
the Alaska Film Festival at...

249
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,865
Okay, all right.

250
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,500
Hey, Angela.
Rushy, rushy.

251
00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:09,834
Where you rushing off to?

252
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,269
I'm just leaving for the day.

253
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:12,937
Yeah, well, duh.
Where are you headed?

254
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:15,306
Charity. Bake Drive.

255
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:17,342
Liar! You are a liar.

256
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,943
No, I'm not!

257
00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:21,212
Ohh. Dwight.

258
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:23,248
Oh, Dwight, my loyal compadre.

259
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:25,383
You and I are hanging tonight.

260
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,852
The two of us.
We are celebrating

261
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,255
our freedom and our manhood.

262
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:31,690
You know what?

263
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,191
Why don't we watch that show
you've been wanting to watch?

264
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,493
That stupid Battleship Galaxy...

265
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:36,795
Battlestar Galactica?

266
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:39,397
That's... Whatever stupid show
you want to watch.

267
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:41,633
I can't tonight.
Unfortunately I've got plans.

268
00:11:41,635 --> 00:11:45,804
I have to go to practice.
Soccer practice.

269
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,338
I didn't know you played
soccer, Dwight.

270
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:48,473
Clarinet.

271
00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,408
You too, Dwight?

272
00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:52,343
Have fun tonight.

273
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:53,778
Whatever it is
that you're doing.

274
00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:56,648
And I'll see you Monday.

275
00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,585
He has no idea.

276
00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:07,659
Quick announcement, everybody.

277
00:12:07,661 --> 00:12:08,960
If I could have
everybody's attention.

278
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,595
We do have wine in the kitchen.

279
00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:13,331
And there is beer
available on the porch.

280
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:14,632
And despite
what you might think,

281
00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:16,067
it's not all for Meredith
and Kelly.

282
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,469
So please enjoy.

283
00:12:17,471 --> 00:12:20,004
Jim, you really think
this is a good idea?

284
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:22,073
Huh? A hide-a-key rock?

285
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,608
Hey, you must be Dwight.

286
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:24,642
You don't work with us.

287
00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:25,977
That's because
Mark's my roommate.

288
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:26,978
Oh.

289
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,646
Hey, I love the Birkenstocks.

290
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:31,983
Thanks. Yeah, I always keep
an extra set in the car

291
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:34,119
for special occasions.

292
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:36,087
Jim, come here.
Mm-hmm?

293
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,957
When is the guest
of honor coming?

294
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:40,625
Oh. Uh, later-ish.

295
00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:42,093
He's gonna love it!

296
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:45,163
Great. I just wanted
to let you guys know

297
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,098
that we will be taking
the tour like I promised...

298
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,366
Hey.
Hey!

299
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:51,102
Just in time. Do you want
to go on a group tour?

300
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,403
We were just about to leave.

301
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:53,538
Definitely.

302
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:54,739
Well, the group tour
is now leaving then.

303
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:55,907
Ladies and gentlemen,
just a few things

304
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,375
that we're going to be
pointing out to you today.

305
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,644
You will be able
to see both bedrooms.

306
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:01,146
And if we're lucky,

307
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,414
maybe get a chance
to peek into the bathroom.

308
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:04,783
Who knows? I have to
remind you also

309
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,651
that flash photography
is prohibited.

310
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:07,886
And as much as you can,

311
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,721
please refrain
from touching things.

312
00:13:09,723 --> 00:13:11,356
I know you might want to.

313
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:12,757
Hey, is Katie coming?

314
00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:14,459
Um, actually I haven't
talked to her in a while.

315
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,795
Huh? Oh. Is it cool
if I call her?

316
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,930
We'll talk about that later.

317
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:20,198
Okay, let's get right into it.

318
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,666
I need two people
for the first scene.

319
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:24,102
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Mr. Kotter!

320
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:25,770
Mr. Kot-ter!

321
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,839
Okay. Michael.
And...

322
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,042
Anybody?

323
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,310
How about Marybeth?

324
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,280
Okay.
Come on.

325
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:36,748
Okay, so you start
us off, Marybeth.

326
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,049
All right, great. Okay.

327
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:44,756
Boom!
Detective Michael Scott!

328
00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:45,957
I'm with the FBI!

329
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:48,560
Think about this. What is
the most exciting thing

330
00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:50,695
that can happen on TV
or in movies

331
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:54,432
or in real life?
Somebody has a gun.

332
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,534
That's why I always start
with a gun

333
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:59,504
because you can't top it.
You just can't.

334
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,739
I'm supposed to meet
my doctor here.

335
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,942
Have you seen him?
He's a very angry midget.

336
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,310
Boom! Freeze!

337
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:06,611
Michael Scarn, FBI!

338
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,146
You know what you did.

339
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,315
Boom! Boom! Boom!

340
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:11,983
Yeah, you thought
you could get away

341
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:14,452
with your little ruse
didn't you? Didn't you?

342
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:15,920
Well, you didn't.

343
00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:18,056
Because I know where
you hid the diamonds.

344
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:20,458
I've been on to you and your
little friends for weeks.

345
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,560
Boom! Boom! Boom!

346
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:23,928
I'm not even in the scene!

347
00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:25,096
Boom! Boom! Boom!

348
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,898
Stop. Stop! Stop.

349
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:29,000
Okay. You shot me.
Great. Stop.

350
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,935
Okay, you can't just shoot
everyone in the scene.

351
00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:32,470
Well, if you hadn't
stopped the scene,

352
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:33,771
you would've seen
where it was going.

353
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:35,006
Okay. What about
the scene they set up?

354
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:36,674
Boring.

355
00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:39,544
No, it wasn't.
No more guns. No, no.

356
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:43,248
Michael, I want you to give me
all the guns you have.

357
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:46,517
Just get rid of all your guns
and give them to me.

358
00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:48,753
Great.
Bleh!

359
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:50,255
Bleh. Okay.

360
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,196
Jim's bedroom.

361
00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:05,103
See, I knew we lost
somebody on the tour.

362
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,572
Cool. This is your desk.

363
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:08,606
This is my desk.

364
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:09,974
Your home office.

365
00:15:09,976 --> 00:15:12,710
Home office. This is it. Yeah.

366
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,345
You have to sit down so I can
get the full effect.

367
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:17,248
Okay. Sure. Will do.

368
00:15:19,018 --> 00:15:22,520
Okay, wait.
So that would make me...

369
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:24,289
Like right here.

370
00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,991
Yeah. Yep, that feels
about right.

371
00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:28,726
And then Dwight would be like...

372
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:30,828
You know what? Let's just
leave that image out of it.

373
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:32,397
Because this is a happy place.

374
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:34,866
Happy thoughts, Pam.
Happy thoughts.

375
00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:38,736
Um... oh! Yearbook.

376
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,471
Yeah, you don't have to, um...

377
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:43,775
All right. Yes, that's
not gonna be awkward at all.

378
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:48,746
Oh, no!
Oh, yeah.

379
00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:51,883
You were so dorky!
Thank you.

380
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,426
Freeze.
I'm in.

381
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:02,927
Do you want to go over
the rules one more time?

382
00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:04,429
No, no, no, no.

383
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,599
I'm looking
in my wallet for money

384
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,568
so you can tell me my fortune.

385
00:16:13,505 --> 00:16:15,540
I promise it's worth it.

386
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:17,742
Oh, I can see you
walking out of here,

387
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,644
and you're thrilled
with your reading.

388
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:23,514
What are you...

389
00:16:30,589 --> 00:16:31,923
Michael, what did you tell him?

390
00:16:31,925 --> 00:16:33,157
Nothing.

391
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,727
Then why are
his hands up? Bill?

392
00:16:35,729 --> 00:16:38,196
He told me he couldn't
show it to me,

393
00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:39,697
but he has a gun.

394
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,967
Okay.
Let's call it a day.

395
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:45,636
Good. That was good.

396
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,438
Good work, everybody.

397
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:51,809
Angela, burger, dog?
Having fun?

398
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:54,379
I got sap on me.

399
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,547
Chicken, hot dog, burger.

400
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,483
I'm a vegetarian.

401
00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,685
There's soda inside.

402
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:01,886
Oh.

403
00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,054
I didn't think the premium

404
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:04,122
laser color copy batch

405
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,523
would sell as well as it did.

406
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,859
It surprised us all.
I'll tell you why. Because...

407
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,060
I'm sorry, guys.

408
00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:10,895
Can we please not talk
about paper?

409
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:13,057
There's gotta be something else
that we can talk about.

410
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,099
Ahem.

411
00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:21,906
Um, I think it's all right.

412
00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:24,876
I mean, jeez.
It's late already.

413
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:26,878
Hmm.

414
00:17:28,947 --> 00:17:30,415
Hey, Phyllis.

415
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,083
Come here for a second. Sure.

416
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:33,284
Have you heard anything

417
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:36,854
about any secret
office romances or...

418
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:39,657
You tell me.

419
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:42,160
Well, you do mean
you and Jim, right?

420
00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:46,431
Oh, God. I am so sorry.
I mean, I thought...

421
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,399
You guys hang out all the time.

422
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:49,734
And you're talking all the time.

423
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,136
I'm sorry.
It's like...

424
00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:54,539
It's okay. It's okay.

425
00:17:56,041 --> 00:18:00,545
Ah! Not so fast,
fire guy.

426
00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:03,848
How do we get to Bernie's
Tavern from here?

427
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,349
Oh, don't worry.
We're all gonna carpool.

428
00:18:05,351 --> 00:18:06,918
So, Bernie's, huh?
We're all going to Bernie's?

429
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,021
Oh, uh, sorry. We're not
going as a group.

430
00:18:10,023 --> 00:18:11,389
It's just a private friend

431
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:13,024
who happens to know all
of us from different ways

432
00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:14,725
is throwing a private
birthday thing.

433
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,227
Right, right, right.
Well, guys, I'd love to go

434
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:17,428
to Bernie's with you.
But you know what?

435
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,563
I have an office party.

436
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:19,831
Big office party
I need to go to.

437
00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:21,232
So can't get out of it.

438
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:22,500
Good job.
Hey, see you later.

439
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:25,369
Nice job, Bill. Not.

440
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:36,814
Oh, hey, how's your new
side project going?

441
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:38,983
Um, oh, yeah.
I gave that up.

442
00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:41,185
Really? Yeah. It
turns out I was, um,

443
00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:43,421
just grasping at straws.

444
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,690
Just because two people
are hanging out,

445
00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:47,859
it doesn't mean
that they're together.

446
00:18:47,861 --> 00:18:50,928
You know? Like people
can just be friends.

447
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,730
And I think that it was
really unfair of us

448
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,966
to assume that there was
anything else going on.

449
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:07,845
Surprise!

450
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,981
Everybody.

451
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:13,017
Wow. Who opened the morgue
for this thing?

452
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,585
I was just driving by.
Thought I'd drop in.

453
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,687
Here's some wine.
I would love a glass

454
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:17,755
if you're gonna open it.

455
00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:19,891
Hello, temp.
Take my jacket.

456
00:19:19,893 --> 00:19:21,659
Ha ha ha!

457
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,828
Oh, come on. That guy?

458
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:26,931
He is a good guy.
Not a terrorist.

459
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,533
Yikes.

460
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:29,800
Karaoke. I love it.

461
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:33,271
I am a karaoke fiend!

462
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:34,438
I call dibs.
I've got next.

463
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,441
I got next up.
Come on. Let's...

464
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:42,413
Ha! Okay.
Where's that wine?

465
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,849
Okay. This is
a duet. So...

466
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,886
Somebody else?
Pam, you want to...

467
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,721
come up and sing this one?

468
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:54,058
Need somebody else.
Takers, please.

469
00:19:58,431 --> 00:19:59,664
Kelly?

470
00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:13,077
This is the part
that goes to the girl.

471
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:50,248
We're making love!

472
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,661
Talk! Just talk!

473
00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:04,996
I am...
Shut up!

474
00:21:04,998 --> 00:21:07,331
Funny story... The way
I got into improv

475
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:09,500
was... I got into improv...

476
00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:11,836
The story about me
getting into improv was

477
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:13,804
that I was walking
down the street

478
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,373
and a race car pulls up.

479
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,608
And the guy says,
"Hey, you're funny.

480
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,176
"You're the funniest guy
I've ever seen.

481
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:21,279
Or my name is not
Dale Earnhardt."

482
00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:25,383
And that was an improv.

483
00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:30,521
Um, the real way was that
I found a flyer.

483
00:21:31,305 --> 00:22:31,516
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