1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,067
Let's think this through.

2
00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:06,038
If we ask corporate
for that, then...

3
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:09,141
They are either gonna say...

4
00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:10,943
yes or no.

5
00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:12,444
Could go either way.

6
00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:14,813
We don't know
what they are going to say.

7
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,148
Think it through!

8
00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,916
Have to think it through.

9
00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:19,918
Because if they say no...

10
00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:23,589
Can we not?

11
00:00:23,591 --> 00:00:25,157
No... yes, we have to.
You know why?

12
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,192
'Cause I don't like to be
cooped up in that office.

13
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,627
In that box all day long.

14
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:29,795
Heisman!

15
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:32,931
Because I need to think.
Okay, Jim?

16
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,401
Oh, Kevin!
Oooh!

17
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,471
Ugh!
Nice catch.

18
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:40,973
Mm mm mm mm.

19
00:00:40,975 --> 00:00:43,442
Oscar!

20
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:44,510
Intercepted.

21
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,078
Right here.
Give it to me.

22
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,079
Phyllis, give me the ball.

23
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:48,080
Okay, give me the ball.

24
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:49,081
You guys...

25
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,482
Creed, give me the ball
right now.

26
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:51,650
Give it to me.
Ryan.

27
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:53,118
Aaaah!

28
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,154
Aaaaah!
Fumble!

29
00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:56,455
Yeah!

30
00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:00,292
All right, hey, Dwight!

31
00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:03,695
Whoo!

32
00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:05,097
Hut hut hut hike!

33
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,335
You all right, Ryan?

34
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:11,937
Yeah.

35
00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:15,674
Pam!

36
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:23,074
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==-

37
00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:51,977
Oh, they're having
a sale on TiVo.

38
00:01:52,879 --> 00:01:55,581
Maybe I should get a TiVo.

39
00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,716
Ooh, DVD burner.

40
00:01:57,718 --> 00:01:59,184
Maybe I should get one of those.

41
00:02:00,753 --> 00:02:02,654
You are so lucky, Jim.

42
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:06,091
You are so lucky
you don't have this problem.

43
00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:08,927
What was the ninth place
prize again?

44
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,229
A loaf of bread?

45
00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:13,265
Cojino's pizza.

46
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,466
Oh, great.

47
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,068
Tasty terrific pizza.

48
00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:20,906
Question, do their pizzas
play DVDs?

49
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:25,978
Dwight was the top salesman
of the year at our company.

50
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,713
He wins a little prize money
and gets honored

51
00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,148
at some convention.

52
00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:33,352
It is literally
the highest possible honor

53
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:35,654
that a Northeastern
Pennsylvania based

54
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,623
mid-size paper company
regional salesman

55
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,625
can attain, so...

56
00:02:40,693 --> 00:02:42,027
What did I do to deserve this?

57
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:43,162
Are you sad
that Dwight beat you?

58
00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:44,163
No.

59
00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,230
Are you gonna cry, Jim?

60
00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:46,932
Do you need a tissue?

61
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,700
Hey, I heard you got
a wedding dress.

62
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:49,868
Do you have pictures?

63
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:51,036
Oh, yeah.

64
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:53,572
I'll show 'em to you later.

65
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,908
Oh, I should get back.

66
00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:56,942
Talk to you guys later.

67
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:58,043
Okay, cool.

68
00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,978
I have a ton of stuff
to do for the wedding.

69
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,014
And I have to do it
in the office.

70
00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:04,349
And that can be kind of awkward.

71
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:07,753
Uh, just because
people can get all weird

72
00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:09,421
about wedding stuff.

73
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:11,957
I just... I don't
want to offend...

74
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:15,093
Angela.
Or someone.

75
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:20,966
That's what she said.

76
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,067
Ha!

77
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,569
I don't get it.

78
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:24,970
Grapes, seductive.

79
00:03:26,172 --> 00:03:28,307
So, you ready for the
big speech this afternoon?

80
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:30,209
Well, it's not really
a big speech.

81
00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:31,276
You're still coming, right?

82
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:34,112
Oh, absofruitly.

83
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,747
Fruit, grapes.
Nailed the joke.

84
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:36,748
Matter of time.

85
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,317
Uh, and yes, it is a big speech.

86
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,718
Biggest of your life.

87
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,422
Speaker at the sales convention.

88
00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:44,957
Been there, done that.

89
00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:46,825
Went there again, did it again.

90
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,860
Two years in a row.

91
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,330
Consecutive.

92
00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:54,233
I just... I miss the feeling
of knowing

93
00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:56,134
that you did a good job
because somebody

94
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,769
gives you proof of it.

95
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,972
Sir, you're awesome.

96
00:03:59,974 --> 00:04:01,440
Here's a plaque.

97
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:03,342
What, a whole year has gone by

98
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:04,376
and you need more proof?

99
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:05,444
Here's a certificate.

100
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:08,080
They stopped
making plaques that year.

101
00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:11,116
What if I give a really long
extended thank you?

102
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:15,087
For instance,
thank you Mr. blank.

103
00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:17,422
Thank you very, very...

104
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,557
That would look terrible.

105
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:19,992
These are mostly salesmen.

106
00:04:19,994 --> 00:04:21,927
And salesmen expect
to be entertained.

107
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,195
And you are the main act.

108
00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:24,630
When I was in the sixth grade,

109
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:27,466
I was a finalist
in our school spelling bee.

110
00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:30,569
It was me against Raj Patel.

111
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:33,405
And I misspelled, in front
of the entire school,

112
00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:36,441
the word "failure".

113
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,076
I can't do this.

114
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:39,945
That's because
you're incapable of doing it.

115
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,680
Because you don't know how.

116
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:44,383
Because you have no skills.

117
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,952
Dwight, there's no way
I can possible teach you

118
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,420
what you need to know
about public speaking

119
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:49,454
by speech time.

120
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,890
Okay.

121
00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:53,258
But I can teach you enough
so that you don't

122
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:54,593
embarrass me or the company.

123
00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:55,727
Okay, deal.

124
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:56,728
I'll do whatever you say.

125
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:57,829
No questions asked.

126
00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,231
Well, if you have a question,
you should ask me.

127
00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:00,999
I'll try and think of one.

128
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,334
Don't try to think
of a question to humor me.

129
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:04,803
Just try not
to be such an idiot.

130
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,038
Is that an insult or is that

131
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,806
part of the public speaking
advice?

132
00:05:10,109 --> 00:05:11,176
Insult.

133
00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:14,179
Mom, I'm sorry.

134
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,415
I know you and Dad are
chipping in for the wedding,

135
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:20,352
but I do not want
orange invitations.

136
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,521
Yes.

137
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:23,855
Well, if you really want...

138
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,824
Hi, yeah, can I talk to
one of your travel agents.

139
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,327
I'm gonna take a trip.

140
00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:31,263
I'm gonna get out
of town for a while.

141
00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:35,167
And go someplace...
not here.

142
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:37,536
Where do I wanna go?

143
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:39,671
Um, that is
an excellent question.

144
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:42,441
And one I probably
should have thought about

145
00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:44,042
before I called you.

146
00:05:45,611 --> 00:05:47,079
I get here early every morning

147
00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:49,548
so I can set the thermostat.

148
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:52,284
I like it a little cooler,
around 66 degrees.

149
00:05:52,286 --> 00:05:54,519
I'm more productive.

150
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:55,821
Maybe some people don't like it

151
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,289
as cold as I do.

152
00:05:57,291 --> 00:05:58,824
But I don't care.

153
00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:01,793
But seriously,
what's the difference

154
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,195
between a salesman
and a saleswoman?

155
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,496
A saleswoman has a vagina.

156
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,231
It's a joke, Dwight.
It's not a sex ed class.

157
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:07,299
But I'm right.

158
00:06:07,301 --> 00:06:08,533
Yeah, you're right about
the difference

159
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,102
between a man and a woman
but not about the punchline

160
00:06:10,104 --> 00:06:12,003
to the joke, all right?

161
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:14,740
The difference between
a salesman and a saleswoman

162
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,341
is boobs.

163
00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:19,344
Hey, do you remember
the speeches that you gave?

164
00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:20,379
I do, both of them.

165
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:21,580
Could I have a copy
of one of them?

166
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,014
No no, they would remember.

167
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:25,784
Look, it doesn't matter
what you say,

168
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,519
it just matters that you're
saying something

169
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:28,987
that people care about.

170
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:30,222
Yeah?

171
00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:32,023
All right, here we go.
Watch this.

172
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:34,459
Attention everybody!
Attention please.

173
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:37,195
I have some very great news
from corporate.

174
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:39,731
We had a wonderful quarter,
and as a result,

175
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,334
all of you are
getting bonuses for $1,000.

176
00:06:42,336 --> 00:06:43,668
Yeah!

177
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:46,204
Congratulations.

178
00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:52,411
You see that?

179
00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:53,578
You see how
they responded to me?

180
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,881
In that moment, I had them.

181
00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:58,016
That is so great
about the bonus!

182
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,217
No no, it's not true.

183
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,786
I was just talking.

184
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,388
So just go out there
and say anything.

185
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:05,123
They'll eat it up,
they're a great audience.

186
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,225
Go ahead, get the wallpaper.

187
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:08,727
Wallpaper the ceiling
if you want.

188
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:10,362
Excuse me?

189
00:07:10,364 --> 00:07:12,697
May I have
your attention please?

190
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:15,834
There had been an accident
on 84 West.

191
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,269
Cars have skidded off the road

192
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:18,703
into the safety railing.

193
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:21,239
Several cars have flipped.

194
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:22,707
There is broken glass
everywhere.

195
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:25,444
Several people are injured.

196
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:27,345
Do we know anyone
who was in the accident?

197
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,315
Brad Pitt.

198
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:34,152
Also, there will be no bonuses.

199
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:35,287
Why would this
affect our bonuses?

200
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:36,621
They're unrelated.

201
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:37,856
Is Brad okay?

202
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,090
He will never act again.

203
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:41,860
Also, this branch is closing.

204
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,061
What the hell is going on here?

205
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:44,095
Are we out of jobs?

206
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,197
Yes.

207
00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:46,465
This is karma because
of what he did

208
00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:47,499
to Jennifer Anniston.

209
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:49,167
He was kidding.
Dwight was kidding.

210
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:52,270
And I don't know why
because it wasn't funny.

211
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:54,806
And it was just horrible.

212
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:55,807
Michael?
Yeah?

213
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,676
You said we were
getting bonuses.

214
00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,811
All right, everybody
in the conference room now.

215
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,279
Let's go.
Let's do it.

216
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,281
Cancel the wallpaper.

217
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:05,116
As your leader and your friend,

218
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:07,252
I sort of demand
that you can all

219
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:09,788
speak in public as I can.

220
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,723
And did.
Twice.

221
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,692
You saw the plaque, right?

222
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:15,827
All right, we're all
gonna go around the room

223
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,496
and we're going to make toasts.

224
00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,998
And that way we will
overcome our fear

225
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:20,999
of public speaking.

226
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,367
You mean toastmasters?

227
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,169
Pam, I'm public speaking.

228
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,537
Stop public interrupting me.

229
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:27,973
Actually, this would be
good practice

230
00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:29,274
for your wedding toast.

231
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:32,911
Yeah, the bride doesn't
really do...

232
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:34,193
Have you ever been to a wedding?

233
00:08:35,147 --> 00:08:36,448
Can I go?

234
00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:40,252
Yes, good.
Jim taking the initiative.

235
00:08:40,254 --> 00:08:44,122
So, uh, I am going on a trip.

236
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:46,324
But I'm not really sure
where I'm going yet.

237
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:47,526
It's kinda open ended.

238
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:48,660
So I was hoping maybe you guys

239
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,262
would have some suggestions.

240
00:08:50,264 --> 00:08:51,663
You should go to Hedonism.

241
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,398
What is that?

242
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:57,502
It's like Club Med,
but everything is naked.

243
00:08:58,771 --> 00:08:59,938
I was thinking more like Europe.

244
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:00,972
Or something like that.

245
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:03,141
But good second choice.

246
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,976
Been to Amsterdam.

247
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,945
Oh, okay, you know what?

248
00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:10,315
That's not a toast.
You're not standing up.

249
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:11,583
To Amsterdam.

250
00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:13,518
When did you go there?

251
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,755
Um, after my divorce.

252
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:17,989
Really?
For like how long?

253
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:20,125
About a week or...

254
00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:21,459
Maybe a month.

255
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:23,028
Jimmy, listen to me.

256
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:25,397
You do not want to go
to Amsterdam, trust me.

257
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:26,731
Where do I wanna go?

258
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,700
I'd send you to Hong Kong.

259
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,468
I'd like to say hi
to my friends in China.

260
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:38,310
Okay.
Dwight.

261
00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:41,680
Show us what you have
learned today.

262
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,820
Good morning, Vietnam!

263
00:09:56,562 --> 00:09:58,897
Okay, you know what?
This isn't working.

264
00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:01,399
Because, um, I'm not nervous
in front of them.

265
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:02,667
They're my subordinates.

266
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,202
No, we're not.

267
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,837
Uh, yes, you are.

268
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,672
I am the
assistant regional manager.

269
00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:08,873
Which means absolutely nothing.

270
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,008
Michael, can you explain?

271
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,210
Well, it's mostly made up.

272
00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:15,680
Dwight is not going
to do a good job, it's sad.

273
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:16,881
And they're expecting excellence

274
00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:18,450
because I did do
such a great job.

275
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:19,651
Two years in a row I killed.

276
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:20,952
It was amazing.

277
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:24,723
Confidence, Dwight!

278
00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:32,764
Dwight, if you could travel
anywhere in the world,

279
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:33,798
where would you go?

280
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,634
I can travel anywhere,
except Cuba.

281
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:37,936
And I will travel
to New Zealand.

282
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,070
And walk the
Lord of the Rings trail

283
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,171
to Mordor.

284
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,140
And then I will
hike Mt. Doom.

285
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,142
Now just leave me alone.

286
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,845
Okay, just trying to
get some advice on my trip.

287
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:49,214
Please, you're not
taking any trip.

288
00:10:54,453 --> 00:10:57,355
You know, I majored
in public speaking in college?

289
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,124
You did?
Mm-hmm.

290
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:00,458
And the first thing
that they teach you

291
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,193
is that you've gotta
be true to yourself.

292
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:06,197
And you are all about authority.

293
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,099
Yes, I am.

294
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,968
The great speakers
throughout history

295
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:13,138
were not joke tellers,
they were people of passion.

296
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:14,606
So, if you wanna do well today,

297
00:11:14,608 --> 00:11:15,707
you gotta do what they did.

298
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:16,875
Which is?

299
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,843
You've gotta wave your arms,

300
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,545
and you've gotta
pound your fists.

301
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:23,014
Many times.

302
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,282
So as to emphasize your point.

303
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:27,619
Okay, I didn't actually
major in public speaking.

304
00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:29,854
But I did download speeches
from some of history's

305
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,489
famous dictators.

306
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:32,991
Like this one.

307
00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:34,859
Originally given
by Benito Mussolini.

308
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:37,462
Okay, look, I know
you're giving this speech

309
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:38,563
on your own.

310
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:39,664
But I wrote up
a few talking points

311
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:40,665
for you to take a look at.

312
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:42,333
Hope you don't mind.

313
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:43,435
I'll glance at it.

314
00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:47,639
It's time, Dwight.
The grim reaper is here.

315
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,678
The very best of luck
to you, Dwight.

316
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,080
Thank you, Angela.

317
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,688
Why'd you pick the VA
for the reception?

318
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,256
Roy has a connection.

319
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:07,258
It's nicer than you think.

320
00:12:09,161 --> 00:12:10,829
You're inviting Jim?

321
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:13,965
Of course, he's one
of my closest friends.

322
00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:19,404
All right, ready?

323
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,039
Here we go!

324
00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:27,946
Wow, it's a little bit bigger
than I remembered.

325
00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:32,050
Come on, we're down here
in the front.

326
00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:57,909
I am just feeling
under the weather.

327
00:12:57,911 --> 00:13:01,212
And I think that I will
go home and rest.

328
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,982
I've never ever seen you
take a sick day.

329
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:07,485
Well, I've seen you take enough
for the both of us.

330
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:11,089
Next, I'd like to introduce
the Dunder-Miflin

331
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:14,492
salesman of the year
Dwight Schroot!

332
00:13:20,232 --> 00:13:22,901
Dwight, they called your name.

333
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:25,637
Dwight, how we doing?

334
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:27,105
Okay, you know what?

335
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:28,706
You know what?
Okay.

336
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:29,774
No, no problem.

337
00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:30,909
You are lucky you have me here.

338
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,177
I am going to cover for you.

339
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:33,978
All right!

340
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:44,489
Good morning, Vietnam!

341
00:13:47,259 --> 00:13:52,063
I am not Dwight Schrute.
Not at all.

342
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:56,034
I am Michael Scott,
his mentor and boss.

343
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:58,570
And until Dwight comes up,

344
00:13:58,572 --> 00:14:00,638
if he ever does,

345
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,241
I wanted to say a few words

346
00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:05,443
about excellence.

347
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:09,514
What makes
a work environment excellent?

348
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:13,785
Well, there are many things,
I believe,

349
00:14:13,787 --> 00:14:17,488
that do such
a thing of that... nature.

350
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:21,893
And one would be humor.

351
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:25,630
What is the difference
between a salesman

352
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:27,732
and a saleswoman?

353
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:39,143
I always set it at 69.

354
00:14:40,779 --> 00:14:43,715
Maybe we'll use a DJ.

355
00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:44,983
That's the one thing
Roy's in charge of

356
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:46,885
for this wedding,
but all he's managed to do

357
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,386
is set a date.

358
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,256
Well, he did a great job.
June 10th is perfect.

359
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,357
I want a June wedding.

360
00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,759
I've always wanted one.

361
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:58,429
Ryan, do you know when
you would want to get married?

362
00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:00,465
Actually, I don't see
ever getting married.

363
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:01,833
Oh.

364
00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:11,009
Ryan, you should be
more sensitive.

365
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,611
It's obvious she likes you,
and comments like that...

366
00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:15,246
I know what I said.

367
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,516
I'm very sorry, I did not know

368
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:19,918
that you were wearing
a hearing aid.

369
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:23,388
And I just thought
you were speaking abnormally.

370
00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:30,762
And now, the black guy from
the Police Academy movies.

371
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,530
A robot.

372
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:39,437
Michael Winslow.
Anyone?

373
00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:41,940
A car starting.

374
00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:47,912
All right,
Dwight Schroot, everyone.

375
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,450
Good luck.
That is a tough crowd.

376
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:11,869
Blood alone moves the wheels
of history!

377
00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:15,907
Have you ever asked yourselves

378
00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:17,875
in an hour of meditation,

379
00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:22,013
which everyone finds
during the day,

380
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:26,684
how long we have been
striving for greatness?

381
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:29,687
Not only the years
we've been at war,

382
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:31,823
the war of work.

383
00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:35,059
But from the moment, as a child,

384
00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:36,861
when we realized that the world

385
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:38,629
could be conquered.

386
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:42,633
It has been a lifetime struggle.

387
00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:44,102
A never-ending fight.

388
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:47,772
I say to you,
and you will understand,

389
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:50,975
that it is a privilege to fight!

390
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:59,150
We are warriors!

391
00:17:03,922 --> 00:17:06,624
Salesmen of Northeastern
Pennsylvania,

392
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:10,161
I ask you, once more,
rise and be worthy

393
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,563
of this historical hour!

394
00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:22,573
I got a time share on Key West

395
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,609
that might be available.

396
00:17:25,744 --> 00:17:27,745
Maybe.
Thanks.

397
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:29,347
You really think
you're gonna go?

398
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:30,848
Yeah, I'm definitely going.

399
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,518
Nice.
Send me a postcard.

400
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,153
Jim has worked at the
same place for five years.

401
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,888
Jim eats the same
ham and cheese sandwich

402
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,589
every day for lunch.

403
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:40,224
I don't know,
if I were a betting man,

404
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,193
I'd say he will have
a fun weekend

405
00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,528
in Philadelphia.

406
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:53,304
No revolution is worth anything,

407
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:56,507
unless it can defend itself!

408
00:17:58,944 --> 00:18:03,014
Some people will tell you
salesman is a bad word.

409
00:18:03,016 --> 00:18:07,251
They'll conjure up images
of used card dealers

410
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,821
and door to door charlatans.

411
00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:13,524
This is our duty
to change their perception.

412
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:18,129
I say, salesmen...
and women...

413
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:21,199
of the world, unite.

414
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,334
We must never acquiesce.

415
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,336
For it is together!

416
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:29,407
Together that we prevail!

417
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:34,645
We must never cede control
of the motherland,

418
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:36,314
for it is...

419
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:40,318
Together that we prevail!

420
00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:51,996
Australia?

421
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:53,364
I have always wanted
to go there.

422
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:54,532
I'm going.

423
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:56,033
I'm a little nervous
to run into Dwight

424
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:57,401
on his connecting flight
to Mordor,

425
00:18:57,403 --> 00:18:59,604
but other than that...

426
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:02,840
Yeah, I bought the ticket.
Non-refundable.

427
00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:04,342
That's awesome.
Where are you staying?

428
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:05,443
I don't know.

429
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:06,611
I feel like I have
plenty of time

430
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:07,879
to figure out the details,
but...

431
00:19:07,881 --> 00:19:09,847
When are you leaving?

432
00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:13,351
I'm leaving on June 8th.

433
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:14,485
Oh.

434
00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:19,657
Yeah, and I'm really sorry
about that.

435
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,793
Oh, yeah, that's too bad.

436
00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:24,295
Yeah.

437
00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:29,901
Do want me to take these
on my way out?

438
00:19:29,903 --> 00:19:31,335
It's okay, I got it.

439
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,271
All right.

440
00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:37,108
Thanks.

441
00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:39,810
Okay.

442
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,045
There you are.
What happened?

443
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:43,047
I got thirsty.
How'd it go?

444
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:44,048
It was amazing.

445
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,216
I wish you
would have been there.

446
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:47,585
You would not believe
what happened here.

447
00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:48,753
What, did something happen?

448
00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:53,457
Oh, this woman came in.
Sat down.

449
00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:54,725
Ordered a drink.

450
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:56,394
The bartender asked for her ID,

451
00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:57,428
which I thought was odd.

452
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:58,663
Because I pegged her as,
like, 35.

453
00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:00,398
Weird.
Yeah, really weird.

454
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,333
So, she's like,
I don't have my ID.

455
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:03,501
Please give me one.

456
00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:04,635
And he's like, I can't do that.

457
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:06,103
I can't serve you.

458
00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:07,939
Con artist.
She might have been.

459
00:20:07,941 --> 00:20:10,374
So she says fine,
I will go to my room.

460
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,143
I will get my purse.
I will come back.

461
00:20:12,145 --> 00:20:13,177
I'll show you my ID.

462
00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:14,579
She hasn't come back yet.

463
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:18,349
She's probably in the room
drinking from the minibar.

464
00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:21,652
Dwight gave a great speech.

465
00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:23,588
That's the word
on the street, anyway.

466
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:26,891
And I entertained Dwight
to no end

467
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,226
with my bar story.

468
00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:32,029
So I captivated the guy
who captivated 1,000 guys.

469
00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:35,733
Can you believe that?
1,000 guys.

469
00:20:36,305 --> 00:21:36,578
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