1
00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:05,437
- Pam?
- Yeah?

2
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,106
Did you see Oprah yesterday?

3
00:00:07,108 --> 00:00:08,741
No, I didn't.

4
00:00:08,743 --> 00:00:11,210
I, uh...

5
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:13,245
I am going to be a father.

6
00:00:14,914 --> 00:00:16,115
What was Oprah about?

7
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:18,584
Angelina Jolie was on.

8
00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:20,486
And she adopted a baby from Asia

9
00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:22,521
and she said that
it changed her life.

10
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,923
And that really inspired me.

11
00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:27,426
So I want you to look in
to see how much

12
00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:30,729
a little Chinese baby
would cost.

13
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:33,532
That's a really big decision.

14
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,801
I know.

15
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,503
Maybe you should wait
before you adopt.

16
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:39,038
Or not adopt.

17
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,407
Just do it, okay?

18
00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:43,308
Roy's sister looked into it.

19
00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,511
And the application alone
costs $1,000.

20
00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:49,281
Um...

21
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:52,117
Find out if there's a cheaper...

22
00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:54,620
Less expensive baby
out there, okay?

23
00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:56,655
You know... she also said
the waiting list

24
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:57,756
is like eight months.

25
00:00:57,758 --> 00:00:59,391
- Eight months?
- Yeah.

26
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:00,826
I don't even know if I want
a baby in eight months.

27
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:02,294
Probably won't.

28
00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:09,334
You know, Pam,
if in ten years...

29
00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:10,736
I haven't had a baby,

30
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,104
and you haven't had a baby...

31
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:13,238
No, Michael.

32
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,141
- 20 years.
- No, Michael.

33
00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:17,709
30.

34
00:01:19,946 --> 00:01:21,013
Sure.

35
00:01:22,348 --> 00:01:24,516
It's a deal.

36
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:32,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

37
00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:57,516
All right, three pairs of pants.

38
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:58,517
Mm-hmm.

39
00:01:58,519 --> 00:01:59,985
- Three pairs of socks.
- Mm-hmm.

40
00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:01,854
Three packs of condoms.

41
00:02:01,856 --> 00:02:03,956
Yeeeash.

42
00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,257
Uh, fun jeans.

43
00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:09,628
Ah.

44
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,964
Sign.
Per diem.

45
00:02:11,966 --> 00:02:14,333
Guess where I am going?

46
00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:15,634
I will give you a hint.

47
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,069
It is a booze-fueled
sex romp

48
00:02:17,071 --> 00:02:18,103
where anything goes.

49
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:19,972
You are correct sir!

50
00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:22,174
I am headed to Philadelphia
for the annual

51
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:25,310
Northeastern Mid-market
Office Supply Convention.

52
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,412
And Jim Halpert
is going to be coming,

53
00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:29,148
which will be fun.

54
00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:31,917
Poor little guy has been stuck

55
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,119
working under Josh.

56
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:36,155
The poor man's Michael Scott,

57
00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:38,190
as he is known around my condo.

58
00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:41,894
Don't be mad.
It is a business trip.

59
00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:44,897
But I don't understand.
It's for managers.

60
00:02:44,899 --> 00:02:46,698
Monkey, I am an ARM.

61
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:47,799
Assistant Regional Manager.

62
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:49,601
I know.

63
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:52,337
I was just really hoping
we could

64
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,006
spend some time together.

65
00:02:58,111 --> 00:02:59,678
Are you still there?
Yes, Monkey.

66
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,513
Don't monkey me.

67
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:05,150
You can't wait
to get out of here, ARM.

68
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:07,853
In the Martin family,
we like to say...

69
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,388
looks like someone
took the slow train

70
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:11,123
from Philly.

71
00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:15,194
That's code for
"Check out the slut."

72
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:17,729
What is...

73
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:18,864
Why are there flies in here?

74
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,265
Oh, my God!

75
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:21,867
Are you so excited for tonight?

76
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,101
I'm so excited... you guys
are gonna click.

77
00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:24,303
I can feel it.

78
00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:25,604
So what are you wearing?

79
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,239
This.

80
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:32,644
You look so pretty.

81
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:36,281
Thank you.

82
00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:37,950
Yes, I have a date.

83
00:03:37,952 --> 00:03:40,752
He's a cartoonist
for the local paper.

84
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:41,887
Which is really neat,

85
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:45,624
because I like to draw too.

86
00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,859
I'm kind of nervous.

87
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,428
I haven't been on a first date

88
00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:53,298
in nine years.

89
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:56,969
Probably shouldn't
broadcast that.

90
00:03:56,971 --> 00:03:58,503
Well, remember, no matter
how much you may want to,

91
00:03:58,505 --> 00:03:59,905
do not sleep with him
on the first date.

92
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:02,074
It gives him all the power.

93
00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:03,075
Sleep with who?

94
00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:05,143
Whom.
Whom?

95
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:06,144
My neighbor Allen.

96
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,179
They're going on a date tonight.

97
00:04:07,181 --> 00:04:08,347
Oh, wow.

98
00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:10,315
Oh, my God.
I have a great idea.

99
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:11,950
You know what you should do?
Be hilarious?

100
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,719
Wear your wedding dress.

101
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:16,888
That would be
a great icebreaker.

102
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,090
And your veil.
Yeah.

103
00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:19,524
Do it.

104
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:20,525
I'll probably just wear this.

105
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,394
Really?
Okay.

106
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:23,562
Well, a word of advice,

107
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:25,063
unbutton that top button.

108
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:26,531
Let those things breathe.

109
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:28,400
Any message you want me
to relate to Jim?

110
00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:30,302
Um...

111
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:32,137
Um.
Okay, um.

112
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:33,205
- Um.
- You got that?

113
00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:34,206
I got it.
Write it down.

114
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:36,008
Um.
Um...

115
00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:45,751
There's my girl.

116
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:48,387
I noticed you
handing out some shekels.

117
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:50,255
How would one get on that train?

118
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,990
That was per diem
for Philadelphia.

119
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:54,126
Ugh, that town
smells like cheese steaks.

120
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:56,728
That town is full of history.

121
00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:01,867
Andrea's the office bitch.

122
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,336
You'll get used to her.

123
00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:07,039
Mmm.

124
00:05:07,041 --> 00:05:10,609
Creed.

125
00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:15,914
Can I have my neck pillow back?

126
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,883
Michael!

127
00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:20,519
Can I have my neck pillow back?

128
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:24,756
Hey, Michael.

129
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:25,757
Hey, Josh, how you doing?

130
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:26,792
Pretty good.
How you doing?

131
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:28,193
Great to see you.
There he is.

132
00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:29,194
There's the traitor.

133
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,228
Traitor!
Traitor!

134
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,264
Come here, you.
Come here!

135
00:05:32,266 --> 00:05:34,599
Aaagh!

136
00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:37,102
The product... the progidal...

137
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:39,538
My son returns.

138
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:40,605
I was shocked when he told me

139
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:41,773
he was transferring to Stamford.

140
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:43,141
It's like with firemen.

141
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:45,644
You don't leave
your brothers behind.

142
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:48,380
Even if you find out
that there is

143
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:51,316
a better fire in Connecticut.

144
00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:53,318
Really good to see you, man.

145
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,321
Yeah.
Wow.

146
00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:57,422
I didn't expect that.

147
00:05:57,424 --> 00:06:00,992
It's good to see you too.

148
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:03,929
Oh, hey.
How's it going up there?

149
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:05,797
Have you made any sales yet?

150
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:07,165
Yeah, sold about 40,000.

151
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:09,201
Shut up.
That's impossible.

152
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:10,402
No, it's not.
And I did.

153
00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:11,436
Yeah.

154
00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:13,805
Well, I did it too.

155
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:16,141
You know, when I saw Dwight,

156
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:18,377
I realized how stupid and petty

157
00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:21,780
all those pranks
I pulled on him were.

158
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:24,249
And then he spoke.

159
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,051
I wonder how hard it would be
to get a copy

160
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,119
of his room key.

161
00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:28,854
So did you hear?

162
00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:29,888
What?

163
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,423
Pam's back on the market again.

164
00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:32,457
Really?
She's dating?

165
00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:34,793
Oh, if I weren't engaged,

166
00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:37,529
I would so hit that.

167
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:43,435
So what kind of commissions
you get up there?

168
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:46,805
Oh, Dwight,
I missed you so much.

169
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,573
You're so immature.

170
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:52,411
Listen, Michael, I heard you
were a great salesman.

171
00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:53,879
And I just wanna let you know

172
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,580
that if our branch
absorbs your branch,

173
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,949
I'm gonna look for a place
for you in Stamford.

174
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:58,950
Oh, hey!

175
00:06:58,952 --> 00:06:59,951
Hey, Jan.

176
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,019
We all checked in?

177
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,187
Yes.
Great.

178
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:03,755
Let's dump our stuff
and meet back

179
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:04,790
down here in a half an hour.

180
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:05,857
Okay.

181
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,793
Jan?

182
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:09,428
Look, I think we need
to set some ground rules.

183
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,163
What are you talking about?

184
00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:13,732
The 800-pound gorilla
in the room.

185
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:16,168
Carol.
I'm still dating her.

186
00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:18,403
So nothing can happen between us

187
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:19,671
at the convention.

188
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:21,072
Step away from me, Michael.

189
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:25,243
Thank you for being
so brave with all of this.

190
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,379
Thank you.

191
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:35,187
Allen's cartoon
is so funny, right?

192
00:07:35,189 --> 00:07:36,188
Mm-hmm.

193
00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:37,789
And they're, like, so smart.

194
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:42,160
I don't even know
what they mean half the time.

195
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,879
That is specifically why I chose

196
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:04,883
a room close to the elevator.
More foot traffic.

197
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,618
Check it out.

198
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:09,120
That is crooked on that side.

199
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,355
Wow.

200
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:12,524
Hey hey!

201
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:13,625
That is a lot of liquor.

202
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:14,626
Yeah.

203
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:15,961
And a dart board.

204
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:17,062
Well, that's how
we do it in Scranton.

205
00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:19,097
Or did you forget?

206
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,106
We should probably
head on down, you know,

207
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,107
hook up with Jan.

208
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:30,108
Well, we have time.

209
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,244
One for the road, gentlemen?

210
00:08:32,246 --> 00:08:34,045
A shot of Midori, perhaps.

211
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,752
Oh, no, sorry,
it's an inside joke.

212
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:44,189
There was this bartender
in Stamford who...

213
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,824
You know what?
You just have to be there.

214
00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:47,926
Wish I was.

215
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:49,060
I love inside jokes.

216
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:52,664
Love to be a part of one
someday.

217
00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:57,602
Um, we should...

218
00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:58,670
Yeah, all right.

219
00:08:58,672 --> 00:08:59,738
All right, see you guys
down there.

220
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,239
See you guys.

221
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,041
Change your mind, come back up.

222
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,342
I'll do a shot
with you, Michael.

223
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:05,644
Yechh, don't be gross.

224
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:11,683
It's not even lunch yet.

225
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:13,552
SWAG!

226
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,854
Stuff We All Get.

227
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,056
I basically decorated
my condo for free

228
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,659
with all of my SWAG!

229
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,861
Check it out.

230
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:24,829
Hi, I'm Michael Scott.
Dunder Mifflin.

231
00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:26,031
Dwight Schrute.

232
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,098
Assistant Regional Manager,
Dunder Mifflin.

233
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,700
I am a huge fan.

234
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:29,935
Thanks.
I appreciate it, guys.

235
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,002
You know what?

236
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,204
I am having
a big blowout tonight, room 308.

237
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,272
Hope you can come.

238
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,273
I... maybe.
If I can.

239
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,474
Well, cool!

240
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:39,344
Okay, so can I tell people
you're gonna be there?

241
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:40,879
No, you cannot.

242
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:43,348
So maybe.
See ya.

243
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,983
Why do they call him The Bus?

244
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,017
Because he's afraid to fly.

245
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,686
Smile.

246
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,621
Do you remember me
from last year?

247
00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:51,990
There's a party in my room, 308.

248
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,224
Can't miss it.
Right off the elevator.

249
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:54,960
Tonight.
Be there.

250
00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:56,928
All right, Jan just emailed me.

251
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,797
She wants us
to meet her up front.

252
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:00,732
Yep.
Yeah, she's up front.

253
00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:02,367
You don't have email
on your phone.

254
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:05,837
I don't have to, I just know.

255
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,340
Yes, hello?

256
00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:09,507
No one just called you.

257
00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:11,309
All right, nice meeting you.
Take care.

258
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:12,777
See you soon.
Take care.

259
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,679
Bye-bye.

260
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:16,982
May I have a moment
of your time, please?

261
00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:19,484
I need you to do something
for me.

262
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:20,518
Yes, anything.

263
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,554
I want you to
dig up some dirt on Josh.

264
00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:24,556
Find out if there are
any skeletons in his attic.

265
00:10:24,558 --> 00:10:26,398
I'll talk to my buddy
down at the station stat.

266
00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:29,394
Hey, Pam.

267
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:30,795
Hey, what's up?
What's up?

268
00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:33,064
I wanted to ask if you wanted...

269
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:36,234
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

270
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:40,005
He's not in the office.
Can I take a message?

271
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,506
I will.

272
00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:44,376
You too.

273
00:10:44,378 --> 00:10:45,377
Sorry.
What's up?

274
00:10:45,379 --> 00:10:49,581
Um, if, uh...

275
00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:52,050
Um...

276
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:56,621
I just completely forgot
what I was going to say.

277
00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:57,656
That's so weird.

278
00:10:57,658 --> 00:11:00,091
Okay.

279
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:01,793
Well, if you think of it,
I'll be here.

280
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,129
Okay.

281
00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:13,238
So I called my buddy
down at the station today.

282
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,239
Mm-hmm.

283
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:15,340
I had him run a background check

284
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,675
on Josh Porter.

285
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:19,544
See if there's
any known aliases, etc.

286
00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:21,046
And?

287
00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:24,215
He wasn't volunteering today.

288
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,753
Yeah.

289
00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:31,022
Things have been pretty crazy
around the office.

290
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,090
Oh, yeah?

291
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:33,591
Yeah.

292
00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:35,126
We moved Ryan over to your desk.

293
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:37,729
Oh.
Tell him I say hi.

294
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:40,098
I will call him later
with that message.

295
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:43,401
Hey, how's...
Toby?

296
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:46,705
Toby Flenderson is everything
that is wrong

297
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,473
with the paper industry.

298
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:49,541
Is he why you left?

299
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:51,142
Oh, no.
It was just...

300
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,277
you know,
a good opportunity for me,

301
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:53,278
a promotion.

302
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,081
Opportunity, promotion.
Blah blah.

303
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,749
You know, Jim,
those are just words.

304
00:11:57,751 --> 00:12:00,318
Have you taken into account

305
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,786
other factors?

306
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:02,954
Vis-à-vis bosses?

307
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,023
Is Josh funnier than I am?

308
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:06,291
Does he even have a girlfriend?

309
00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:08,326
Because I have two, basically.

310
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,395
Michael, it's really not
a competition.

311
00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:14,165
Jim got a us a great lead
with a new rep

312
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,400
from National Envelope.

313
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,668
We can grab lunch
with him tomorrow.

314
00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:18,336
Hey, Jan.
Jan?

315
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,572
Don't worry.
I have got the tip.

316
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:21,906
Whoa, Michael.

317
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,676
Wow.
Oh, my God, thank you.

318
00:12:24,678 --> 00:12:25,810
Is that your per diem?

319
00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:28,279
No, that was a different
hundred dollar bill.

320
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,614
What have you generated,
Michael?

321
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:32,250
I have generated
a lot of interest

322
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,152
in my party this evening.

323
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:35,820
What party?

324
00:12:35,822 --> 00:12:37,489
Party I'm having tonight in 308.

325
00:12:37,491 --> 00:12:39,157
Obviously, you are invited.

326
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:42,427
Michael, um...

327
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,529
Jim and Josh are in meetings

328
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,264
all day and I am

329
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,667
in and out of meetings.

330
00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:52,504
I can't stay on top of you 24/7.

331
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:58,877
You should order

332
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,879
the most expensive thing
on the menu.

333
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:02,001
So he knows you're worth it.

334
00:13:03,749 --> 00:13:05,917
If you do that,
you're gonna have to put out.

335
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,988
Oh, yeah.
You'll have to put out.

336
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:15,760
Is there a key for Jane Doe?

337
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:19,764
Thank you.

338
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:23,067
Any messages for 308?

339
00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:24,869
All right.

340
00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:26,104
Hey hey, fellers.

341
00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:27,539
- Michael.
- Hey, Michael.

342
00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:28,807
Hey, what's up?

343
00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:30,575
Uh, well, Jim and I
have a meeting with Uniball

344
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,110
in about 45 minutes,
so we should probably go.

345
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:34,045
Hey, check this out.

346
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,046
How about that?

347
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:36,514
A little friendly competition.

348
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:37,982
Stamford versus Scranton.

349
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:39,150
I don't think so.

350
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,685
Oh.
Jim?

351
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:42,220
Looks like you picked a bad time

352
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:45,356
to defect, my friend.

353
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:46,424
Fine.
All right.

354
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:47,492
Okay.

355
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:48,827
Excellent.

356
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:51,763
Oh, just shut it.

357
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:56,534
Hey, Pam, what's up?

358
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,403
Yeah... uh, no.
Tell him I will give him

359
00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:00,004
general specifics tomorrow,
okay?

360
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:03,575
Yes.
Say hi to Pam!

361
00:14:03,577 --> 00:14:05,109
Hi, Pam.

362
00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:06,711
Yes, that is Josh
and Dwight and Jim.

363
00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:08,379
Pam says hi.

364
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,515
Have fun on your date.

365
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,350
Very good.
Talk to you later.

366
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:14,452
Bye.

367
00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:20,792
You first.

368
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,329
Oh, nice try, Josh!

369
00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:26,531
Not.
Hit the rim.

370
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:29,934
Okay, and...

371
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:32,303
Okay, double or nothing.

372
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:34,138
What, we didn't
bet anything, Michael.

373
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:35,740
Well, let's...

374
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:36,875
You know, we should go.

375
00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:38,343
Come on, come on.
Come on!

376
00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,845
We'll do it later.

377
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:42,614
Say, while I have you here,

378
00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:44,682
can I talk to you about
some new and exciting advances

379
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:46,284
to our product line?
Fine.

380
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:48,553
Jim and I have different
definitions of friendship.

381
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,555
I think it's talking
and being friends

382
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,891
and Jim thinks
it's moving to Connecticut

383
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,759
and being best friends
with Josh.

384
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:55,994
Well...

385
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:58,563
phooey on that.

386
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,598
I, uh...
I'm done.

387
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,934
I am not going to be
speaking with him anymore.

388
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:04,168
Whatevs.

389
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,671
Long distance relationships
never work.

390
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:09,307
That is so true.

391
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:10,808
Ready?
Mm-hmm.

392
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:13,878
Okay, let me tell you
what we're looking for.

393
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,849
Sorry, my meeting ran late.

394
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:20,818
- Really?
- Yes, Jan.

395
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,253
Really.

396
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,655
With a rep from Hammermill.

397
00:15:23,657 --> 00:15:24,656
They're exclusive with Staples.

398
00:15:24,658 --> 00:15:25,657
Used to be.

399
00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:27,258
Evan'll call you in the morning

400
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,726
to work out the details.

401
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:30,094
We can now
sell Hammermill products.

402
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,229
Yes!

403
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:33,331
Ha!

404
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:36,100
Well, Michael...

405
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,135
I underestimated you.

406
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:39,470
Yeah, well, maybe next time

407
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:40,872
you will estimate me.

408
00:15:43,809 --> 00:15:46,477
Dwight's room key.

409
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:49,047
And Dwight's room.

410
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:51,549
What can I say?
Old habits die hard.

411
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,084
D?

412
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:58,122
Oh, my God.
Dwight got a hooker.

413
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,924
Oh, my God, I gotta call...

414
00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:00,992
I gotta call somebody.

415
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:03,194
I don't even know who to call.

416
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:04,729
Dwight got a hooker!

417
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:08,132
So, Allen, Pam is obsessed
with your cartoons.

418
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,368
She reads them every day.

419
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,136
Oh, great.

420
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,204
I don't like ketchup.

421
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,306
You love ketchup.
He loves ketchup.

422
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:20,945
So how do you come up
with your cartoons?

423
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:25,216
I just... I kinda think about
stuff that I see.

424
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:27,251
Or dream them.

425
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:29,921
You dream in cartoons?
How fun.

426
00:16:32,257 --> 00:16:34,993
Hey!
First guest!

427
00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:36,995
You are going to have
some tequila, my friend.

428
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:39,731
Um, I thought there was
a party in here.

429
00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:40,732
This is the party.

430
00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:43,134
This is room 308?
Party central.

431
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:45,103
So what can I do you for?

432
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:49,173
All right.

433
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:51,909
See this one is great.

434
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:54,412
Because it could work
on a couple different levels.

435
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:55,880
Huh.

436
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:58,916
Your freedom fries
for the table.

437
00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:03,154
Freedom fries.
Yeah.

438
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,856
Yeah.

439
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:06,124
People always say, like,
don't be edgy.

440
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:08,292
But, I don't know.

441
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:09,494
I don't know any other way.

442
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:10,595
Oh.

443
00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:12,897
Yeah, you get it.

444
00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:30,281
Well, it was really nice
meeting you, Allen.

445
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:32,183
Yeah, next time bring some of
your illustrations.

446
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:33,651
I'll let you pick my brain.

447
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,487
More freedom fries.
Yeah.

448
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:37,555
That's great.
Okay.

449
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,590
I went on a date.

450
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:41,926
It wasn't a love connection.

451
00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:45,029
Um, I think when
I like someone again,

452
00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:47,198
I'll just kind of know.

453
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,219
Michael.

454
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:15,093
Am I the first the arrive?

455
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:19,297
People have been filtering
in and out.

456
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:21,399
Can I get a drink?

457
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:22,700
What?

458
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,836
Can I get a drink?

459
00:18:24,838 --> 00:18:27,939
Sure.

460
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:33,244
You like cosmos?

461
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:35,580
Yeah, sure.
Sounds good.

462
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:36,647
So why are you here?

463
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,282
Is Josh busy?

464
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:39,584
Michael...

465
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:41,052
I get it, you know?

466
00:18:41,054 --> 00:18:42,186
- Did I do something?
- No, I totally get it.

467
00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:44,889
He made a better paper airplane.

468
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:47,892
Stamford does better in sales.

469
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:49,127
I get it.
We had some fun.

470
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,495
We had some laughs.

471
00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:52,864
Wait wait wait, I didn't
transfer because of you.

472
00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:55,366
You're a good boss.

473
00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:57,702
You're a great boss.

474
00:18:57,704 --> 00:19:01,372
Pfff.

475
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:03,207
Not better than Josh.

476
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:07,411
Michael, it's not about...

477
00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:08,946
I transferred because of Pam.

478
00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:14,719
Oh, my God.

479
00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:16,888
You don't even know.
She's single now.

480
00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:19,590
No, I heard
something about that.

481
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:21,225
It's just, I kind of

482
00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:24,962
put it all on the line.

483
00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:26,998
Twice, actually.

484
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,067
And she said no.
Twice.

485
00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:34,372
I'm sorry, man.

486
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:35,740
I'm sorry.

487
00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:40,311
Hey, you know what?
I will talk to her.

488
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:41,779
No, that's okay.
Yeah.

489
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:43,381
That's all right.
I will.

490
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:45,783
I'll talk to her.

491
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:48,019
You should at least
talk to... Roy.

492
00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:50,054
I mean, he knows
exactly how you're feeling.

493
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:53,791
Yeah.

494
00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:56,460
Okay, maybe.

495
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:58,362
Are we early?

496
00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,463
Hey, no.
You know, people have been

497
00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:00,531
filtering in and out.

498
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:01,866
Hey.

499
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,634
Evan, this is Jim.
How are ya?

500
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:06,270
Hey, Arnie Risman.
Michael, Jim.

501
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:07,572
Hey, Arnie, how you doing?

502
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:09,407
You guys work together?

503
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:10,775
No, we used to.

504
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:12,710
- Yeah.
- Now, we're friends.

505
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:16,113
Best friends.

506
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:19,217
Some people
need dozens of friends

507
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,552
to say, hey, look at me,
I'm popular.

508
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,187
But not me.
I'm very picky.

509
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:25,356
I need three.
Maybe two?

510
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,525
When you meet
that someone special,

511
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,093
you'll just know.

512
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:32,129
Because a real relationship...

513
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:34,432
can't be forced.

514
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:39,470
It should just come about
effortledlessly.

515
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:40,638
Now, would you do me
the pleasure of

516
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,307
hitting the lights, sir?

517
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:46,644
Ha ha ha ha.

518
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:47,845
Ha ha ha ha ha!

519
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:51,649
Whoa.
What are all those stains?

520
00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:53,251
Blood, urine, or semen.

521
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,152
Oh, God, I hope it's urine.

521
00:20:56,305 --> 00:21:56,773
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