1 00:00:03,838 --> 00:00:05,838 Brain teaser. 2 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:07,906 I have two coins totaling 15 cents. 3 00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:09,742 One of them is not a nickel. What are they? 4 00:00:09,744 --> 00:00:10,809 A dime and a nickel. 5 00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:13,312 No, I said one of them is not a nickel... 6 00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:14,546 But the other one is. 7 00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:15,748 I've heard that before. 8 00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:19,651 Okay, a man and his son get into a car accident. 9 00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:21,186 They are rushed to the hospital. 10 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,454 The doctor says, 11 00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:23,922 "There's no way I can operate on this boy." 12 00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:25,224 "Because he's my son." 13 00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:26,825 The doctor is the boy's mother. 14 00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:29,361 A man is found hanging from the ceiling. 15 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,796 He stepped on a block of ice, hung himself, 16 00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:32,798 and the ice melted. 17 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,600 A hunter... 18 00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:35,601 It's a polar bear because you're at the North Pole. 19 00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:37,002 Damn it! 20 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:45,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 21 00:01:10,203 --> 00:01:11,570 Tell me what you did yesterday. 22 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,572 Uh, nothing. 23 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,507 - Nothing? - Yeah, nothing. 24 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:16,708 How was your day? 25 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,143 I don't care how your day was, Michael. 26 00:01:18,145 --> 00:01:20,345 Wow. 27 00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:21,914 Well, okay. 28 00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:23,949 I don't care how your day was either, Jan. 29 00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,951 I was just asking you because you asked me. 30 00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:28,120 Tell me what you did yesterday. 31 00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:29,521 I worked. 32 00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:32,124 And then I went home to my condo. 33 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,625 And Carol came over. 34 00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:35,794 And we had sex. 35 00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:38,163 Is that what you want to hear? 36 00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:41,467 Never, ever, ever sleep with your boss. 37 00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:42,968 I'm so lucky that Jan and I 38 00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:44,670 only got to second base. 39 00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:45,838 Hi, Pam. 40 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,072 - Hi. - I'm great. 41 00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:49,308 So, Pam, I'd like you to keep 42 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:51,610 a log of everything Michael does hour by hour 43 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:52,811 so that we can analyze it at corporate, okay? 44 00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:54,880 Oh, I don't know... Thanks, Pam. 45 00:01:56,749 --> 00:01:57,816 It's weird. 46 00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,151 Jan used to treat Michael 47 00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:00,752 like he was a 10-year-old. 48 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,921 But lately it's like he's five. 49 00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:04,790 So, are you excited? 50 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,291 Yeah. 51 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,527 Very excited? 52 00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:11,363 Yes, I'm very excited. 53 00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:13,165 Extremely excited? 54 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,102 Just very... That's cool. 55 00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:19,371 I have spent a year here. 56 00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:24,109 And I have to commit or get out, so... 57 00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:25,944 Dwight's the top salesman in the company, 58 00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:28,380 and he's taking me on my first sales call today. 59 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:31,116 And, um, I'm excited. 60 00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:35,354 I am very excited. Ryan hasn't made a sale yet. 61 00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:39,791 But more importantly, he hasn't made an ally yet. 62 00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:42,194 Is he gonna be a slacker- loser-wise-ass like Jim was, 63 00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:45,831 or is he gonna join the Dwight Army of Champions? 64 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,566 So, what if they're not talking much? 65 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:50,802 Then does it make sense to kind of lead the conversation? 66 00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,638 You know, just until it gets to a point where 67 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,440 they are asking questions? 68 00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:05,717 So, where's the sales office? 69 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:07,653 When you are ready to see the sales office, 70 00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:10,055 the sales office will present itself to you. 71 00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:14,793 Your journey begins now. 72 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,967 Hey. 73 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,769 What? 74 00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:25,771 My chair's squeaking. 75 00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:26,805 Is it? 76 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,273 You took my chair. 77 00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:30,576 No, I didn't. 78 00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:32,244 I took back the chair that you took from me. 79 00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,545 But I didn't take your chair. 80 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:34,780 When you get up, 81 00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:37,015 I'm just gonna take it back anyway, so... 82 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:39,518 So I guess I can't get up. 83 00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:57,636 Hey, Coselli! 84 00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:59,938 The Coz! The Cosby. 85 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,573 Hey, hey, hey! 86 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:04,309 I love Jell-O Pudding Pops! 87 00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:08,580 My son Theo love Jell-O Pudding Pops too. 88 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,383 Do you know where we are, Temp? 89 00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:13,018 I know where we're not. 90 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:16,255 I hold in my hand a beet seed. 91 00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:18,523 Take it. 92 00:04:18,525 --> 00:04:19,524 Ah... 93 00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:20,592 When you... 94 00:04:22,228 --> 00:04:23,295 Damn it. 95 00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:29,167 Hey, Big Tuna. 96 00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:30,535 Can I talk to you for a second? 97 00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:31,803 Sure. 98 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,739 Can you stand up 99 00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:36,074 and talk to me over there? 100 00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:40,545 That's it? 101 00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:41,847 That's what you came up with? 102 00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:44,316 I'm acting my heart out here. 103 00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:46,351 - Really, huh? - Yeah, really. 104 00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:48,654 You asked for my help, so I helped. 105 00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:56,295 Attention, Scranton Business Park. 106 00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:57,763 There will be complimentary pretzels 107 00:04:57,765 --> 00:05:01,199 available in the lobby from now until 4:00 108 00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,635 as a thank-you to our loyal tenants. 109 00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:12,344 Once a year, they bring in a little cart. 110 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:14,179 And they give away free pretzels. 111 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:17,182 It's really not a big deal. 112 00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:18,884 To some people it is. 113 00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:20,452 Productivity is important. 114 00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:22,487 But how can I be productive 115 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,156 if I have this one little thing in my brain 116 00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:25,791 that I cannot get out? 117 00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:28,393 And that one little thing is a soft pretzel. 118 00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:30,128 So I'm just gonna have my soft pretzel. 119 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,129 And I'll get to work. 120 00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:32,531 And I'll be super productive. 121 00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:33,632 Look out for me! 122 00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:37,102 Oh, sh... 123 00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:38,770 Come on. 124 00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:51,817 And just as you have planted your seed in the ground, 125 00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:54,920 I am going to plant my seed in you. 126 00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:57,356 I don't think you know what you're saying. 127 00:05:57,358 --> 00:05:58,924 Smells pretty bad, doesn't it? 128 00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,659 Uh-huh. 129 00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:02,294 It's called bullcrap. 130 00:06:02,296 --> 00:06:04,763 And a client can smell it from a mile away. 131 00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,498 Gotcha. 132 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,499 Oh, hey... 133 00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:08,900 I forgot something in my car. 134 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,435 I'll be right back. 135 00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:12,070 Okay. 136 00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:27,052 Of course. 137 00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:32,324 I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small. 138 00:06:32,326 --> 00:06:34,559 Drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive. 139 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,261 And then I go to work to a job 140 00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:38,130 for which I get paid too little. 141 00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:40,799 But on pretzel day... 142 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:43,702 Well, I like pretzel day. 143 00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,303 'Cause they're acting all tough and everything. 144 00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:47,272 But what they were rapping about was cupcakes 145 00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:48,607 and The Chronicles of Narnia. 146 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,909 Who invented cupcakes, right? 147 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,043 - I want to kill them. - Hey! 148 00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:53,111 Hey, Phyllis! 149 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,312 What are you doing? 150 00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:55,747 I'm just saying hi to Bob. 151 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,382 No, I think you're cutting in line. 152 00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:58,850 Well, settle down, Scott. 153 00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,352 No, I'm not gonna settle down. No, no way. 154 00:07:00,354 --> 00:07:01,787 - Uh-uh, boo! - Get in the back, please. 155 00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:04,289 - Boo! - Back of the line! 156 00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:05,524 Thank you! 157 00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,292 Back of the line. 158 00:07:08,227 --> 00:07:09,528 That's right. 159 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,096 What a pair of Marys. 160 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,864 This is pretzel day. 161 00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:13,865 "Hey, Dwight, you're a great salesman. 162 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:14,866 Can you teach me?" 163 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,034 "Sure, Ryan. 164 00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,369 "I'll make you kneel in cow manure. 165 00:07:17,371 --> 00:07:19,438 And I'll abandon you in a beet field." 166 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,039 "Oh, that sounds great, Dwight. 167 00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,207 "I really appreciate that. 168 00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:25,310 Thank you so much for your mentorship." 169 00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:32,818 Congratulations, resourceful salesman. 170 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:35,754 You have passed the second challenge. 171 00:07:35,756 --> 00:07:38,523 Welcome to Schrute Farm! 172 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,047 It's gonna be in my head all day. 173 00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:03,215 Please? 174 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,787 This is not a proportionate response. 175 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,203 Whatever happened to those guys? 176 00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:29,274 Michael. 177 00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:30,308 No cuts! 178 00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,643 Oh, Pam. 179 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:32,978 Just the woman I'd like to see. 180 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:33,979 You read my mind. 181 00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,013 Great. 182 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,581 I thought you might want to use this time 183 00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:37,682 to authorize some checks. 184 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:38,984 I thought that maybe you could 185 00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,485 wait in line for me while I go to the bathroom. 186 00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:41,786 You're an angel. 187 00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:43,722 Hey, why don't you just go up to your office, 188 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:44,756 get some work done, 189 00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:45,790 and I'll bring you a pretzel? 190 00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:47,425 Because I like them a certain way. 191 00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:48,727 And if it gets screwed up, 192 00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,695 then this whole thing's blown. 193 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,397 You know, I just think it's really important that 194 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:53,899 you be productive today. 195 00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:56,134 Pam, productivity starts with 196 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,336 patience and determination. 197 00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,105 Okay. 198 00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:09,414 It is time for your next test. 199 00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:11,550 You have planted the beet seed. 200 00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:14,352 You have walked the long, lonely walk of loneliness. 201 00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:15,353 Look, man. 202 00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:16,855 I was in a frat in college. 203 00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:18,590 So I know what you're doing. 204 00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:19,591 I get it. 205 00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:20,725 You know what your problem is? 206 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,460 You know why you haven't made any sales? 207 00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,895 Because you think you know everything. 208 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,430 You have to trust that maybe 209 00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:26,531 there are other people 210 00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,166 that can teach you things. 211 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,669 Are you ready to learn? 212 00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:33,672 Are you ready for the final test? 213 00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:34,673 Yeah. 214 00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:35,874 Come on! 215 00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:41,179 Thank you. 216 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,180 Hi, please tell me you have 217 00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:43,181 a sweet pretzel left. 218 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,883 - We do. - Thank God. 219 00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,084 And we have 18 different toppings. 220 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,652 We have sweet glaze, cinnamon sugar, 221 00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:49,120 chocolate, white chocolate, 222 00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:51,856 fudge, M&Ms, caramel dip, mint chip, chocolate chip, 223 00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:54,192 marshmallows, nuts, toffee nuts, coconuts, 224 00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:56,661 peanut butter drizzle, Oreos, sprinkles, cotton candy bits, 225 00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:57,696 and powdered sugar. 226 00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:00,465 Is there any way that you could do all? 227 00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:01,466 All of them? 228 00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:02,467 The works? You got it. 229 00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:03,768 All right! 230 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,103 Thank you. 231 00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:08,006 Please be seated. 232 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,347 What was that? 233 00:10:15,349 --> 00:10:16,581 Pay no attention to the spirits 234 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:17,949 that haunt this hallowed ground. 235 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,818 Is that your cousin Mose? 236 00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:20,919 Yes. 237 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:24,389 Mose is my cousin, and he lives here. 238 00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,758 He will always be my best friend. 239 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,426 Unless things go well with Ryan today. 240 00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:29,794 In which case I won't hang out with Mose 241 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,096 so much anymore. 242 00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:35,066 What is the greatest danger facing Dunder-Mifflin? 243 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:38,136 Outsourcing and consolidation of competition. 244 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,437 Wrong. Flash floods. 245 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:41,606 What is the true cause 246 00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:44,676 of Robert Mifflin's suicide? 247 00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:47,045 Depression? 248 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,446 Wrong. He hated himself. 249 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:52,283 What is the Dharma Initiative? 250 00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,452 I can't believe that Ryan is not back yet. 251 00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:55,453 Where could they be? 252 00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,188 Sales take a long time. 253 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,490 Oh, my God. I'm so worried. 254 00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:00,992 I'm sure Dwight will protect him. 255 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,761 I don't know. Dwight's so weird. 256 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,996 He's not weird. 257 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,898 He's just individualistic. 258 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,233 No, he's a freak. 259 00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:09,501 You're a freak! 260 00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:15,073 Final question, 261 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,475 young Ryan Howard. 262 00:11:20,379 --> 00:11:22,047 What... 263 00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:29,487 is Michael Scott's greatest fear? 264 00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:32,957 Um, loneliness. 265 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,492 Maybe women. 266 00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:35,827 Wrong. 267 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:38,063 He's not afraid of anything. 268 00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:40,498 Also, I would've accepted snakes. 269 00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:43,802 Fear is what it's all about. 270 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:47,405 You cannot sell while undergoing fear. 271 00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:50,041 You need to vanquish fear! 272 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:55,080 One must wrestle fear to the ground. 273 00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:57,215 You will now wrestle my cousin Mose! 274 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,184 No! Okay, all right! 275 00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:00,418 Wrestle him to the ground! 276 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:01,486 This is over, okay? 277 00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:02,620 You're a freak. 278 00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,222 I'm not doing this anymore and this is over. 279 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,557 - Ryan... - Good-bye. 280 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:06,658 Ryan, you don't have to wrestle him. 281 00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:09,394 Ryan, just get in the coffin. 282 00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:12,330 Ryan... 283 00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:14,232 Bye, Ryan. 284 00:12:16,635 --> 00:12:19,604 He seemed nice. 285 00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,506 Where are all the animals? 286 00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:25,610 Ryan, come on. I am sorry. 287 00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:27,045 I am sorry. 288 00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:28,046 Mose is sorry too. 289 00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,013 Look... 290 00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:31,950 He sent over a basket with eggs 291 00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,351 and some fat back bacon. 292 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:34,319 And look... 293 00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:36,921 Something he whittled. 294 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,508 You still mad? 295 00:13:00,646 --> 00:13:02,147 It's just... 296 00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:04,182 Jim and I didn't get along. 297 00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:07,986 And... I didn't want it to be that way again. 298 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:11,389 You know, I wanted us to be a team. 299 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,057 An unstoppable team 300 00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:14,559 that competed against other teams. 301 00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,628 Look, that's not what I wanted, okay? 302 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:19,564 I just wanted to go on a sales call. 303 00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:22,534 Screw gun! The sales call! 304 00:13:49,061 --> 00:13:50,361 Mr. Coselli. 305 00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:51,462 Hey, hey, hey! 306 00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:53,464 The Cos! What's going on? 307 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:54,632 Do we have a deal? 308 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,134 Deal or no deal? 309 00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:57,502 Let's make a deal. 310 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,137 So what is the deal? 311 00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:00,338 Establish time frames. 312 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,807 Keep the phrase "real dollars" in their heads. 313 00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:04,642 And always keep the power in the conversation. 314 00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:06,377 That's why you're losing them on the cold calls. 315 00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:08,847 Because you say the word "please" too much. 316 00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,148 Wait, can you go back? 317 00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:12,016 Michael always says K-I-S-S. 318 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,685 "Keep it simple, stupid." 319 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:14,819 Great advice. 320 00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:16,654 Hurts my feelings every time. 321 00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,257 Okay, I'm gonna establish time frames. 322 00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:20,558 Good. 323 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,793 I'm gonna put everything in terms of real dollars. 324 00:14:21,795 --> 00:14:22,861 Right. 325 00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:23,995 I'm gonna ask a lot of questions 326 00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:25,463 that all have sort of positive answers. 327 00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:26,497 So they'll say "That would be better" or 328 00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:27,532 "We would like that." 329 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:28,733 Exactly, yes, good. 330 00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,201 I'm going to try to be confident 331 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,269 but not cocky. 332 00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:34,839 Oh, hey, everyone. 333 00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:36,908 I am officially streamlining the efficiency 334 00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:38,476 of this corporation. 335 00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:39,944 - Second... - Second? 336 00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:41,246 Yes, second, Toby. 337 00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:44,015 Second, I am insisting on increased accountability 338 00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,216 from every single one of you. 339 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,985 Account... Michael, what's going on? 340 00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:48,286 And I will be taking questions. 341 00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:50,121 Did you have a lot of sugar today, Michael? 342 00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,289 What's on your suit? 343 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:52,357 Caramel dip. 344 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:53,558 But one question at a time, please. 345 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,026 Phyllis, Stanley... 346 00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,194 I want you to switch desks. 347 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:57,829 I'm going to reorganize 348 00:14:57,831 --> 00:14:59,731 and restructure the physical layout 349 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,332 of the office to maximize everything. 350 00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:03,401 I think we're getting a lot done, don't you? 351 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,502 On paper, at least. 352 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,404 And we are, after all, a paper company. 353 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:07,805 Are we not? Are we not? 354 00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:08,840 Are we not? Are you with me? 355 00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:10,808 Are you with me? Thank you very much. 356 00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:14,779 They really didn't like me. 357 00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:16,080 They did not. 358 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,283 But they didn't have to say it to your face. 359 00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:19,784 I don't get it. 360 00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:21,719 I don't get what I did wrong. 361 00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,388 Not everything's a lesson, Ryan. 362 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:24,455 Sometimes you just fail. 363 00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,457 It's those online paper jerks. 364 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,493 The whole business is changing. 365 00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:29,527 You know what? 366 00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:30,528 They're gonna be screwed 367 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,397 once this whole Internet fad is over. 368 00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:34,232 What are you doing? Oh, no! 369 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:37,568 No, no, no! No, Ryan! 370 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:40,338 Yes! Ryan the Temp, yeah! 371 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:43,441 Come on, come on! 372 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:44,442 Courtesy of Dunder-Mifflin! 373 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:45,677 Oh, come on! 374 00:15:46,745 --> 00:15:48,846 - Drive! - You drive! 375 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,885 Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam. 376 00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:54,953 Oh, hi, Jan. 377 00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:58,890 He's, uh, on a sales call. 378 00:15:58,892 --> 00:16:00,358 No message? 379 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,027 Bye, Jan. 380 00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:17,875 Temp! Temp! 381 00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:19,777 Temp! Temp... 382 00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:21,679 Ryan! Ryan! 383 00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,414 Ryan! Ryan! 384 00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:24,582 Yes! 385 00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,150 Just think. 386 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,685 That temp agency could've sent you anywhere. 387 00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:31,022 I think about that all the time. 388 00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:36,327 - Good night, Pam. - Good night. 389 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,829 Hey, what time is it? 390 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,097 5:20. 391 00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,098 AM or PM? 392 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,232 PM. 393 00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:42,834 Oh, good. 394 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:43,835 These came for you. 395 00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,236 Contracts. 396 00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:46,237 Brent Coselli. 397 00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:49,774 Oh, Coselli. With the Jell-O. 398 00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,142 This is a huge sale. 399 00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:53,444 Yes, right. Good. 400 00:16:55,814 --> 00:16:56,914 Good night, Michael. 401 00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:58,583 Good night. 402 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,356 Dunder-Mifflin. 403 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,357 Oh, hey. 404 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,558 Oh, my God. 405 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:08,893 Hi. 406 00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,061 Hi. 407 00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:11,696 Sorry, I forgot Kevin's extension. 408 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,297 It's a fantasy football thing. 409 00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:14,499 Oh. 410 00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:15,733 And I was just gonna go through the system 411 00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:18,569 because I didn't think you'd be there. 412 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,038 Why are you still there? 413 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,407 I had to work late. 414 00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:24,042 Jan's making me keep a log 415 00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,676 of everything Michael does all day. 416 00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:27,879 Wow. 417 00:17:30,649 --> 00:17:32,550 Do you think you could send me a copy of that? 418 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,385 Yeah, totally. 419 00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:39,257 So... So... 420 00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:41,059 - Do you... - Oh, I'm sorry, go ahead. 421 00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:42,827 Uh, no... I, um... 422 00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:45,029 Everything's pretty much the same here. 423 00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:46,030 Oh, good. 424 00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:48,232 A little different. 425 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,435 What time is it there? 426 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:53,438 What time is it here? 427 00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:56,874 We're in the same time zone. 428 00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:59,510 Oh, yeah. Right. 429 00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,512 How far away did you think we were? 430 00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:03,848 I don't know. It felt far. 431 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,519 Yeah. 432 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,555 - I have a question for you. - What? 433 00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,290 How many words per minute 434 00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,225 does the average person type? 435 00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,326 I type 90. 436 00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:17,061 Shut up. 437 00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:18,830 Mavis Beacon doesn't even type 90. 438 00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:20,098 It's true. 439 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,532 Okay, I said average. 440 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:22,533 70? 441 00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:23,534 How many do you type? 442 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:24,669 Forget it. 443 00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:26,771 I was just about to brag. Forget it. 444 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,506 - Come on, tell me. - No. 445 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,041 You have to tell me now. 446 00:18:30,043 --> 00:18:31,075 65. 447 00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:34,846 Okay, no need to laugh. 448 00:18:34,848 --> 00:18:37,482 No, it's... That's respectable. 449 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:38,583 Respectable? 450 00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:41,085 So, okay, I'm watching the movie. 451 00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:43,921 By myself, because I just wanted 452 00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:45,456 a relaxing evening at home. 453 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,392 Okay. 454 00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:49,560 And I'm freaking out! 455 00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:50,595 Yeah. 456 00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:51,596 That movie is so scary. 457 00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:52,597 I know. 458 00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:54,031 But I'm holding on 459 00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:56,167 because I keep waiting for Sandra Bullock to show up. 460 00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,568 No way! 461 00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:01,906 How do you confuse 28 Days with 28 Days Later? 462 00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,107 Because I got it at Blockbuster 463 00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:04,575 and they don't put the pictures on the box. 464 00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:06,911 You're making this up. 465 00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,646 Would I make that up? 466 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,148 Yes! 467 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:12,150 Fancy New Beesly would make that up. 468 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,951 New apartment, new stories... 469 00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:16,621 Oh, yeah, My fancy new apartment. 470 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:20,258 I have one bedroom, one bathroom, and a closet. 471 00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:21,425 And how many kitchens? 472 00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:22,560 I have one kitchen. 473 00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,562 Wow, you got totally taken 474 00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,097 for a ride, Beesly. 475 00:19:26,099 --> 00:19:27,965 It's actually... 476 00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:30,468 Most apartments these days have, like, three. 477 00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:31,469 Three kitchens? 478 00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,371 Yes. 479 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:34,539 How are you gonna cook 480 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:35,973 every meal of the day in one kitchen? 481 00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,508 Hey, Ryan. Are you okay? 482 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,143 Pam? 483 00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:41,078 Yeah. Yeah. 484 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:42,446 Pam? 485 00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:44,248 Um, okay. 486 00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:45,516 Bye. 487 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,552 Oh, yeah. I should probably... 488 00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:49,053 Oh, no... I was, um... 489 00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:50,054 I don't know. 490 00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:51,622 - You have to go? - Yeah. 491 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:52,623 No, I should probably go too. 492 00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:53,724 Okay. 493 00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,860 I mean, yeah. 494 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:56,928 Yeah. 495 00:19:59,431 --> 00:20:00,898 Bye, Pam. 496 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,301 Bye, Jim. 497 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,296 364 days... Until the next pretzel day. 497 00:20:33,305 --> 00:21:33,524 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org