1
00:00:01,601 --> 00:00:03,102
There you go.

2
00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:04,136
Oh.

3
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:09,975
Nice dress, Ryan.

4
00:00:09,977 --> 00:00:12,811
It's not a dress.
It's a kurta.

5
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:13,912
Okay.

6
00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:15,581
Tonight, one of our most

7
00:00:15,583 --> 00:00:17,683
ethnic coworkers, Kelly,

8
00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:20,386
has invited us all
to a Diwali celebration

9
00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:22,221
put on by her community.

10
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:24,323
What is Diwali, you may ask?

11
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:27,760
Well, to have Kelly explain it,

12
00:00:27,762 --> 00:00:28,994
"It's..."

13
00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:32,598
"It's so super, fun.

14
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,533
And it's gonna be great."

15
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,702
A lot of gods
with unpronounceable names.

16
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:38,504
20 minutes later, you find out

17
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:41,106
that it's essentially
a Hindu Halloween.

18
00:00:41,108 --> 00:00:42,541
You look so handsome.

19
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:43,575
You really do.

20
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:45,577
I love the material.

21
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:46,678
I know.

22
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:47,920
How come you didn't get me one?

23
00:00:49,115 --> 00:00:50,149
I...

24
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:58,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

25
00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:24,716
Okay, so between
Meredith's minivan,

26
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,151
and if I borrow Bob's Yukon,

27
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:28,587
that should fit about 12 people.

28
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,222
I actually might not go.

29
00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:31,957
I'm feeling kind of tired.

30
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:33,125
Do you wanna make Appletinis

31
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:34,393
and watch Sex and the City
at my place?

32
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:38,497
Oh, I don't know.
I haven't decided yet.

33
00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:39,565
I don't get why you won't go.

34
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:40,666
Did I do something wrong?

35
00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:42,234
I mean, I thought we
were really close friends.

36
00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:44,236
I just feel kind of tired,
you know.

37
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:45,337
Maybe you've got mono.

38
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:46,371
Maybe.

39
00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:47,906
I just...

40
00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:49,408
I don't really have
anyone to go with.

41
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:50,943
Well, go with Dwight.

42
00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:52,377
He's single too right?

43
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,745
Yeah, totally single.

44
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:56,048
100% available.

45
00:01:56,050 --> 00:01:59,418
Are you guys going to this
Indian thing tonight?

46
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:02,988
I don't know.
Who's, uh, who's going?

47
00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:06,492
Ohh... you mean, like,
is Pam going?

48
00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:08,660
Don't go.
They eat monkey brains.

49
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:10,596
Hey, hey, hey, stop that.

50
00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:11,663
That is offensive.

51
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:14,366
Indians do not
eat monkey brains.

52
00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:16,168
And if they do...

53
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:18,103
sign me up.

54
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:20,038
Because I am sure
that they are very tasty.

55
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,875
And nutritional.

56
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:27,179
It's important that this company

57
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:30,215
celebrates its diversity.

58
00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:32,284
And you know what, Stanley?

59
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,920
Come Kwanzaa time,
I have got you covered, baby.

60
00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:36,722
I don't celebrate Kwanzaa.

61
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,290
Wha... really?

62
00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:40,259
You should.
It's fun.

63
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:43,862
I love the people here.

64
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:48,600
And if there was one thing
I don't really care for,

65
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:52,304
is that they can be
terribly, terribly ignorant

66
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,173
about other cultures.

67
00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:56,642
And I don't want them
embarrassing me

68
00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:59,077
in front of my girlfriend Carol.

69
00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:02,814
Diwali is a very
important holiday

70
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:03,982
for the Hindus.

71
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,717
But, frankly,
I'm a little appalled

72
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:09,821
that none of you know very much
about Indian culture.

73
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:12,357
So with out further adieu,
Kelly!

74
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:15,460
You are on.

75
00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:17,930
Um, Diwali is awesome.

76
00:03:17,932 --> 00:03:19,231
And there's food,

77
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,066
and there's gonna be dancing.

78
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,202
And, oh,
I got the raddest outfit.

79
00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:25,204
- It has sparkles...
- Kelly...

80
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:27,472
Um, why don't you tell us
a little bit about

81
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:30,075
the origins of the holiday?

82
00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:33,412
Oh, um, I don't know.
It's really old, I think.

83
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,447
How many gods do you have?

84
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,482
Like hundreds, I think.
Maybe more than that.

85
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,718
And that blue, busty gal...
what's her story?

86
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,053
She looks like Pam

87
00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:42,421
from the neck down.

88
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:43,622
Pam wishes.

89
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,159
Kelly, I'll take this one.

90
00:03:47,161 --> 00:03:50,629
Diwali is a celebration
of the coronation god king Rama

91
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,898
after his epic battle
with Ravena,

92
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,166
the demon king of Lanka.

93
00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,201
It symbolizes the battle
between good and evil.

94
00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:57,970
All right, all right.
This isn't Lord of the Rings.

95
00:03:57,972 --> 00:03:59,805
Hey, Polly.

96
00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:03,375
Oops, sorry.

97
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:04,977
Sorry.

98
00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:07,779
I started biking to work.
Josh does it.

99
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,282
And he lives a lot
farther away than I do.

100
00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:12,551
And also, it saves gas money.

101
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:15,654
It keeps me in shape.
Helps the environment.

102
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:20,726
And now I know it makes me
really sweaty for work.

103
00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:23,595
Nice basket.

104
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,564
Thank you.

105
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,501
Now, a lot of people say

106
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:32,004
that Kelly is one in a million.

107
00:04:32,006 --> 00:04:33,338
And that's true,
but it's also not true.

108
00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:35,207
Because, frankly,

109
00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:37,075
there are literally
billions of people

110
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:38,944
just like Kelly in the world.

111
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:42,214
Here are some famous Indians.

112
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:48,287
Subrahmanyan Chandrasekhar.

113
00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:51,823
He is a Nobel-Prize-winning
physicist.

114
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,191
Impressive.

115
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:54,793
Apu, from The Simpsons.

116
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,229
Hilarious Indian.

117
00:04:57,231 --> 00:04:58,463
M. Night Shyamalan.

118
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,866
The Village, Unbreakable,
Sixth Sense.

119
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:02,734
I see dead people.

120
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,836
Okay!
Spoiler alert.

121
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,338
He was dead the whole time.

122
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,006
Just stop it!

123
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:09,574
What's...
Oh, wha...

124
00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:12,210
Where did that come from?

125
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,649
Karen, my chips got stuck

126
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:18,984
in the vending machine again.

127
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,520
I need your...
skinny little arms.

128
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:22,954
Oh.

129
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:23,989
Did you shake it?

130
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,958
Yeah, I shook it, I shook it.

131
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:33,065
We have such
a roller coaster thing,

132
00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:34,132
Karen and I.

133
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:35,967
Excuse me?

134
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:37,636
Roller-coastery friendship.

135
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,971
Hot and cold.
On again, off again.

136
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:43,342
Sexual-tension-filled
type of deal.

137
00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:45,544
It's very Sam and Diane.

138
00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:47,546
Wow.
From Cheers.

139
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:48,914
Yep.
Yeah.

140
00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:51,049
And another thing about
the Indian people,

141
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,984
they love sex positions.

142
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:56,521
I present to you The Kama Sutra.

143
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:59,291
I mean, look at that.
Who has seen that before?

144
00:05:59,293 --> 00:06:02,127
I have, that's
the union of the monkey.

145
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:04,663
Oh, that's what they call it.

146
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,665
This is the best meeting
we have ever had.

147
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:07,699
Thank you, Kevin.

148
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,434
I find this
incredibly offensive.

149
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:11,169
Well, I find it beautiful.

150
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:14,106
Well, whatever Kelly wants to do
in her own house is fine.

151
00:06:14,108 --> 00:06:16,007
But we shouldn't
all be subjected to it.

152
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,943
Actually, she's right.

153
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,145
This isn't appropriate.

154
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:21,380
Why don't I take these?

155
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,781
You're not gonna collect them.

156
00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:24,950
No, this is delightful,
charming culture.

157
00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:27,519
My Indian cultural seminar
was going great

158
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:30,589
until Toby decided
that he was too immature

159
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:33,258
to deal with
culturally explicit images.

160
00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:35,994
It's just sex, people.
Everybody does it.

161
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:38,597
I'm doing it with Carol.

162
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:41,633
Probably tonight.

163
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,236
All right.

164
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:45,837
I think you guys
should be all set.

165
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:47,572
Oh, here's the corporate card
for dinner.

166
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,207
Thanks.
Now, Karen...

167
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,076
Let's keep it
to $20 a person this time.

168
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,545
Got it.

169
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:55,981
Once a quarter,
the sales staff at this branch

170
00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:59,151
has to stay late to do
order form consolidation.

171
00:06:59,153 --> 00:07:01,620
Which... amazingly,

172
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:04,089
is even less interesting
than it sounds.

173
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:06,425
You guys ready to party?

174
00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:07,959
What's that?

175
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:10,128
I said, are you ready

176
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,264
to part-ay!

177
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,175
Isn't this fun,
not wearing shoes?

178
00:07:23,177 --> 00:07:25,076
I wish some of us still
had our shoes on.

179
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:27,412
Stop it.
It's a disease.

180
00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:29,181
I've... told you.

181
00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:34,152
I thought you said
this was a costume party.

182
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:37,989
What does that look like to you?

183
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:40,091
An Indian woman in a sari.

184
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:41,760
No one's even gonna notice it.

185
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:42,894
Nice outfit.

186
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,429
Hey, Kevin, it's a costume.

187
00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:46,631
You just cool it, okay?

188
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,200
Carol? Carol.

189
00:07:48,901 --> 00:07:50,535
I'll have one of those as well.

190
00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:52,704
Thank you very much.

191
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,606
Now, these are limes,
lemons, onions.

192
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,441
I'm a vegetarian.
What can I eat?

193
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,610
It's all vegetarian.

194
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:00,245
I'll just have some bread.

195
00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:04,950
You used your hands.

196
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:08,820
Oh, yuck.

197
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:09,822
Oh.

198
00:08:11,225 --> 00:08:13,358
What, is it too spicy?

199
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:14,626
Yeah.

200
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:15,827
These s'mores are disgusting.

201
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:19,464
They're not s'mores.
They're samosas.

202
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,834
Do you think
they have any s'mores?

203
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,704
All they are is chocolate,
graham cracker, and marshmallow.

204
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,606
How difficult would
that have been?

205
00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:33,512
So... you're Kelly's
sisters, huh?

206
00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:41,086
What?
Rupa, Neefa, Tiffany,

207
00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:42,487
stop acting like such
little losers,

208
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:43,488
and just be cool.

209
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:45,390
Come on, Ryan.
Come on.

210
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:48,226
Leave him alone.
I hate you guys.

211
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,995
They said something
about Zach Braff.

212
00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:51,329
Don't even listen to them.

213
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:52,797
No, you know...

214
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,434
That's very official.

215
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,536
I decided to come.

216
00:08:57,538 --> 00:09:00,739
Uh, I feel a little
underdressed.

217
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,674
But at least I'm not dressed

218
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,843
like a slutty cheerleader,
right?

219
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,578
Is that mean?

220
00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:23,662
Temp! Temp!

221
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,745
I don't even
wanna hear it, okay?

222
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,747
Stop it right now.

223
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,883
Ryan is a temporary worker,
makes no money.

224
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,918
Wali is a whole doctor,

225
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,154
so handsome, makes good money.

226
00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:52,223
- You think I wanna date a doctor?
- He's a perfect match.

227
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,261
Hey, big tuna, you ready?

228
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:59,064
Yep.

229
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:02,000
One, two, three.

230
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,268
Shot!

231
00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:07,572
Ohh! Holy mother of God.

232
00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,474
Ooh, that burns.

233
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:11,343
Golly!

234
00:10:11,345 --> 00:10:13,278
Good.

235
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,312
Whew.

236
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:37,268
Wow, 30 years!

237
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:39,904
And you two only met
once before the wedding night.

238
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:41,072
Yes.

239
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:42,507
Wow.

240
00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,542
How long have you been
married to the cheerleader?

241
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:46,444
Oh...

242
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:47,646
She's not a cheerleader.

243
00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:50,448
She thought this
was a costume party.

244
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,785
Um, no, we're not married.

245
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,754
Yet!

246
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,589
She's very fair.

247
00:10:57,591 --> 00:11:00,425
She is very fair.
Very fair and very kind.

248
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:02,160
So, um,

249
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,996
tell me, is your marriage
the kind of thing

250
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,398
where when you die,

251
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,400
she has to throw herself
on fire?

252
00:11:08,402 --> 00:11:10,068
No?

253
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:11,603
Okay.

254
00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:13,538
It's still very cool.

255
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,173
Okay, thanks.

256
00:11:18,544 --> 00:11:21,613
One, two, three.

257
00:11:21,615 --> 00:11:22,947
Chug!

258
00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:25,116
Ooh!

259
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:36,561
Are you okay?

260
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:39,130
I'm gonna be.

261
00:11:42,501 --> 00:11:44,002
Hi.
I'm just gonna...

262
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,570
Just a sec, just a sec.

263
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,238
Um, everyone.

264
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,874
I'm sorry, could I have
your attention, please?

265
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,710
Thank you.

266
00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:53,211
Ha ha! Hi!

267
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,714
Sorry, I just have
an announcement to make.

268
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,782
Um...

269
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,150
Okay.

270
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:03,288
I have learned a lot
about Indian culture tonight.

271
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:08,026
But I have learned
even more about love.

272
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:10,295
And I know you're all thinking,

273
00:12:10,297 --> 00:12:13,832
"Who is this crazy gringo,
and what is he talkin' about?"

274
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:16,000
Well, I'm not crazy.

275
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:19,504
Maybe I'm crazy in love.

276
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:20,939
So, without

277
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,774
further adieu,

278
00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:23,875
Carol...

279
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:27,112
Carol Stills...

280
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:29,681
I would like you...

281
00:12:29,683 --> 00:12:32,217
to do me the honor

282
00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:35,320
of making me your husband.

283
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,557
Oh, Michael.

284
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:40,825
What do you say?

285
00:12:42,628 --> 00:12:44,829
Can we talk
about this in private?

286
00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:46,731
I didn't hear you.

287
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:50,401
Can we talk about this
in private?

288
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:52,470
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

289
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,206
Okay.

290
00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:02,347
No, I get it.

291
00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:03,948
I get it.
You're not ready.

292
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:04,983
We'll wait.

293
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:07,218
This is our ninth date, Michael.

294
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,887
Well, yeah, but I...

295
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:12,123
I feel like I've known you
many lifetimes.

296
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,726
Maybe I'm Hindu after all.

297
00:13:14,728 --> 00:13:16,494
Okay, I'm not Hindu.

298
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,396
But... Carol...

299
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,165
Carol, I just feel like...

300
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:22,700
I just like you so much.

301
00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:24,402
I'd better go.

302
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,237
Okay? You can find
a way home, all right?

303
00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:27,272
Yes.

304
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:28,573
Okay.
Okay.

305
00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:32,544
Okay.

306
00:13:32,546 --> 00:13:33,845
Good night.

307
00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:35,180
Hey, you know what?

308
00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:36,848
Why don't I come with you?

309
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:40,185
'Cause I've got this book
called The Kama Sutra.

310
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:41,319
Okay, good night, Michael.

311
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,921
All right.

312
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:44,022
Good night.

313
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:52,197
Well, I was a temp,

314
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:54,332
but I got promoted.

315
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:58,169
So, um... the compensation
is a lot more competitive.

316
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,638
So you're saving money now
to start a family and home?

317
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:03,875
Oh, um, or travel.

318
00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:06,611
And, um, and buy an Xbox.

319
00:14:10,716 --> 00:14:13,184
Is there anything you wanted
to ask us tonight?

320
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:16,187
Can you believe my boss

321
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,422
proposed to his girlfriend
in public?

322
00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,057
That is so Michael.

323
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:21,559
Is it?
He's really outgoing, huh?

324
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,962
Yeah.

325
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,930
Hey, would you excuse me
for a second?

326
00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:27,632
Okay.

327
00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:34,405
It's hot in there.

328
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:36,975
How's the naan?
Dry.

329
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,110
You looked like you
were having fun.

330
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:41,212
I am.
You should come dance with us.

331
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,915
I have to watch our shoes,
so they don't get stolen.

332
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:47,886
- Who are you texting?
- No one.

333
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,403
Andy, no a cappella.

334
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:20,151
Wait, wait.

335
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,397
It's not good.

336
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:35,433
Tuna! Are you kidding me?!

337
00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:40,805
Ohh!

338
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,807
Oh, my God.

339
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:45,877
Oh! Wow!

340
00:15:45,879 --> 00:15:47,145
- Here.
- That's so spicy.

341
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:48,880
Yeah.

342
00:15:48,882 --> 00:15:51,015
Ohh.

343
00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:55,019
You waiting for a call?

344
00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:56,754
Uh, no.

345
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,461
Wow.

346
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:08,700
Pam...

347
00:16:08,702 --> 00:16:12,003
When Carol said no tonight,

348
00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:13,604
I think I finally realized

349
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,473
how you must be feeling.

350
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:19,577
We are both the victims
of broken engagements.

351
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:22,647
Well, you were
never really engaged.

352
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:26,250
I was in that marriage arena,

353
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:28,686
though.

354
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,388
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

355
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:35,727
Ohh... well.

356
00:16:35,729 --> 00:16:40,264
I kind of thought something
would happen tonight too.

357
00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:44,002
We're so alike.

358
00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:48,473
So alike.

359
00:16:58,517 --> 00:16:59,650
What are you doing?

360
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:02,020
What are you doing?

361
00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:04,355
- I'm rejecting your kiss.
- What?

362
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:05,857
I didn't...

363
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:11,462
I wa...

364
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:25,043
Can I have a ride home?

365
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:27,678
If you sit in the back.

366
00:17:29,281 --> 00:17:31,416
Okay, guys.

367
00:17:36,855 --> 00:17:38,423
Hey, can I have a ride, man?

368
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:41,359
I, uh, I have my bike.

369
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:42,493
No way, dude.

370
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,729
I am not driving home.

371
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:47,899
I brought an inflatable bed

372
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:50,034
for just such occasions.

373
00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:51,369
You're welcome to share it,
though.

374
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:53,037
It's a roomy twin.

375
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:55,640
Okay.

376
00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:22,133
Hey, dummy, get in the car.

377
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:25,169
I'm a drunk driver.

378
00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:26,304
Yes, you are.

379
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:28,372
Here, let me take that.

380
00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:30,541
Just, uh, get in the car.

381
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,677
You can really hold
your liquor, though, really.

382
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:33,711
Yeah, you can't.

383
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:36,781
Okay.

384
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,916
And I am just going to lie down
in the back,

385
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:40,318
if that's all right.

386
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,287
Sure.
Here's your... bag.

387
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,456
Just don't puke on anything.

388
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:51,829
You okay?

389
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,564
- So good.
- Good.

390
00:18:59,571 --> 00:19:01,639
These are not my shoes.

391
00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:13,184
This is just like
that show Taxi Cab Confessions.

392
00:19:13,186 --> 00:19:15,319
If you say one more word,
I'm stopping the car.

393
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:18,055
Sorry.

394
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:20,191
This is going out
to Indians everywhere.

395
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,161
It's a tribute
to one of the greats.

396
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:26,697
Mr. Adam Sandler.

397
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:34,438
Let me tell you something.

398
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,073
Tonight has been...

399
00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:25,022
Happy Diwali!

399
00:20:26,305 --> 00:21:26,837
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