1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,134 I have left Dunder-Mifflin 2 00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:04,636 after many record-breaking years, 3 00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:07,172 and I am officially on the job market. 4 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:08,407 And it's very exciting. 5 00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:09,575 For your convenience, 6 00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:11,510 I've broken it down into three parts: 7 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,412 professional résumé, 8 00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:15,781 athletic and special skills résumé, 9 00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:17,950 and Dwight Schrute trivia. 10 00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:20,085 I am ready to face any challenges 11 00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:22,021 that might be foolish enough to face me. 12 00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:23,455 How would I describe myself? 13 00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:24,690 Three words: 14 00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:25,824 Hardworking, 15 00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,659 alpha male, 16 00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:29,895 jackhammer. 17 00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:30,963 Merciless. 18 00:00:30,965 --> 00:00:32,664 Insatiable. 19 00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:35,401 There's nothing on my horizon except everything. 20 00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:37,636 Everything is on my horizon. 21 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:39,405 I got this job to make some money 22 00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,840 while I continue my employment search. 23 00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:43,108 And, uh... 24 00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:44,843 it's fine for the time being. 25 00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:45,978 Oops. 26 00:00:45,980 --> 00:00:47,579 Break's over. 27 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:55,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 28 00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:57,289 Big Turkey. 29 00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:11,236 Is that you singing? 30 00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:12,237 All four parts. 31 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,639 Recorded it on my computer. 32 00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:15,240 It took me forever. 33 00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:26,251 You gonna answer it? 34 00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:29,388 I called it myself. 35 00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:30,889 I just thought you'd get a kick 36 00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:31,890 out of the new ring. 37 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:32,558 Yikes. 38 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:33,725 Side note: 39 00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:34,793 I'd just like to say I'm thrilled 40 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:36,095 to be working directly beneath you. 41 00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:38,497 - Oh. - I feel I have a lot to learn from you. 42 00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:41,433 Even though you're younger and have less experience. 43 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,669 So... 44 00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:45,504 here's to the future. 45 00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:47,473 Andy and The Tuna. 46 00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:01,253 I miss Dwight. 47 00:02:03,256 --> 00:02:05,591 Congratulations, Universe. 48 00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:07,559 You win. 49 00:02:43,429 --> 00:02:45,497 Argh, top won't go up. 50 00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:51,003 Oh, hey hey! Look who's here. 51 00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:53,105 - Hello, hello. - Hi, Michael. 52 00:02:53,107 --> 00:02:55,974 - Welcome back. - Good to see you. 53 00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:59,645 As you know, Oscar is a gay man, 54 00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,547 who is also my friend 55 00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:03,815 and he has been on a little bit of a sabbatical... 56 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:04,650 recently. 57 00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:06,418 Seeing the world. Finding himself. 58 00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,253 Having lots of fun, no doubt. 59 00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:09,488 What does that mean? 60 00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:12,324 Oooh, check out the new car. 61 00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:15,594 German engineering, nice. How many pesos did that set you back? 62 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,095 It's a company lease. 63 00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:18,263 From the settlement. 64 00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:19,865 After you kissed me. 65 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,801 Well, that's how this company takes care of our employees. 66 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,770 When we settle, we settle high. 67 00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:27,573 I have an idea: 68 00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:27,973 Rainbow stickers, all over the back windshield. 69 00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:30,509 Shout it from the mountain tops, my friend. 70 00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:32,177 Part of me wants the people in this office 71 00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:35,214 to have learned their lesson, and just shut the hell up. 72 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,317 And part of me thinks... 73 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,484 "You know what? Keep talking. 74 00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:41,753 I'd really love a home theater." 75 00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:44,122 Yes, Dwight Schrute has left the company... 76 00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:45,824 more personnel turnover. 77 00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,259 Cost of doin' business. 78 00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,728 Yeah, well, it is a big loss. 79 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,964 Dwight was the top salesman. 80 00:03:51,966 --> 00:03:53,432 Was the top salesman. 81 00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:54,600 I said "was." 82 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:57,269 Addition by subtraction. 83 00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:59,071 What does that even mean? 84 00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:00,639 That is impossible. 85 00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:01,773 Mmm... 86 00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,609 Yeah, you're right. 87 00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:05,844 But there is some good news. Oscar is back. 88 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,380 Addition by addition. 89 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:11,116 So we are going to have a big party today 90 00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:13,685 to welcome him back, and hopefully 91 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,621 that'll lift everyone's spirits. 92 00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:18,156 - Hey. - Oscar! 93 00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:19,591 - Pam. - Good to have you back. 94 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:20,593 Good to be back. 95 00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:24,196 - Welcome back, Oscar. - Thank you. 96 00:04:24,198 --> 00:04:25,864 - Good to be back. - Hey, Oscar. 97 00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,232 Hey, everyone. 98 00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:28,934 Oh, hello, Oscar. 99 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,535 How was your gay-cation? 100 00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:32,671 That's very funny. 101 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:32,671 Yeah? 102 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,673 I thought of that, like, 103 00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,742 two seconds after you left. 104 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,181 Hi, Angela. 105 00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:45,951 Oscar. 106 00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,020 Hey, boss. 107 00:04:48,022 --> 00:04:49,154 Hey, what's up? 108 00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:50,689 Nooothin'. 109 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,526 Enhrrr... hehh. 110 00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:58,463 Man, TGI Wednesday. 111 00:04:58,465 --> 00:04:59,865 - Yeah. - Am I right? 112 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:00,966 Yep. 113 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:03,201 Gonna go home, get my beer on, 114 00:05:03,203 --> 00:05:05,871 get my Lost on. 115 00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,773 What are you doin' later? You want to hang out? 116 00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,941 Uh... I don't know. 117 00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:11,043 Maybe. 118 00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:13,312 Well, I'll take that as a "maybe." 119 00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:22,287 - Where you goin'? - Bathroom. 120 00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:23,555 Well, I'm going to the kitchen. 121 00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:24,890 I'll walk with you. 122 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:33,265 Yeah, things are goin' pretty good. 123 00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:35,834 Gettin' a lot of face time with the boss. 124 00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:40,939 Oscar? 125 00:05:42,041 --> 00:05:44,042 I have a question. 126 00:05:44,777 --> 00:05:47,012 Would you like to join the Party Planning Committee? 127 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,513 The committee with all the women? 128 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,548 Yeah. 129 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:50,716 Because I'm gay? 130 00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:52,351 - No. 131 00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:53,952 No. 132 00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:56,788 Certain events have transpired, 133 00:05:56,790 --> 00:06:00,625 and I've thought about certain things. 134 00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:01,960 And I'm sorry for the way 135 00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:05,163 those certain events transpired. 136 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,399 And I would just like to make some changes 137 00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:10,001 about certain things 138 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,870 and certain situations. 139 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:12,938 - Okay, okay. - And certain accountants. 140 00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:13,939 All right, all right, I'll join. 141 00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:14,940 I'd love to. 142 00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:15,974 That's... 143 00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,175 Thank you. 144 00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:18,176 Thank you. 145 00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:19,311 Thank you. 146 00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:23,882 Can I join too? 147 00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:27,285 Never. 148 00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:29,654 You sell those two printers this morning? 149 00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:30,922 Nice work. 150 00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:32,023 Child's play. 151 00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:34,659 Give me something hard to sell. 152 00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:40,665 Hey, where's Dwight? 153 00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:41,800 You didn't hear? 154 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,469 Decapitated. Whole, big thing. 155 00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:46,538 We had a funeral for a bird. 156 00:06:48,174 --> 00:06:50,242 I'm pretty sure none of that's real. 157 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,811 You're not real, man. 158 00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:55,580 Wow. 159 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,249 What is wrong with this thing? 160 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:58,617 It looks terrible. 161 00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:00,018 Do you want me to ask the night cleaning crew 162 00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,019 if they stopped watering it? 163 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,020 Yeah. 164 00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:03,321 Oh, you know what? 165 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:05,323 Ask them about the toys on my desk too. 166 00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:07,859 They always used to arrange the toys on my desk 167 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:10,295 in a... a very pleasing way. 168 00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:11,663 It used to brighten my morning. 169 00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:13,298 Oh, that wasn't the night crew. 170 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:14,399 That was Dwight. 171 00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:17,769 Really? 172 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,138 That was very nice of him. 173 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:23,308 We need more attitude like that around this office. 174 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:25,010 Feel ya, dawg. 175 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:26,244 Yeah, do you? 176 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,913 Absolutely. 177 00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,648 What did I say? 178 00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:32,451 You said... 179 00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:34,486 Ruh-duht duh duh-dooh. 180 00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:35,554 Huh. 181 00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:36,555 Which is, like, 182 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:37,722 "Right on." 183 00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:39,291 Pam was like, "Blah blah blah." 184 00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:42,794 And you were like, "Yeah. Psh-sht." 185 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,063 Nailed it. 186 00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:51,369 Oh. 187 00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:53,138 Oh, no. 188 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,173 Love that Andy, right? 189 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,775 Solid fellow? 190 00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:57,843 Seems smart enough. 191 00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:59,911 Likes me a lot. 192 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:01,246 A lot. 193 00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:03,081 Too much. 194 00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:06,151 Like a crazy person, a little. 195 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:09,754 Not super crazy, just... 196 00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:12,157 there's something about him that creeps me out. 197 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:14,392 I can't really explain it. 198 00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:16,628 He's always up in my bidness, 199 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:20,165 which is Ebonics for "being in my face" 200 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,534 and annoying the bejesus out of me." 201 00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:25,370 I don't understand how someone 202 00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:28,106 could have so little self-awareness. 203 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,014 I really have no preference. 204 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,549 We don't even have to have a party. 205 00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:39,284 No. Hey, hey... 206 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,352 Don't be ridiculous. 207 00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:42,721 Of course we are going to have a party, 208 00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:44,656 a celebration of Oscar. 209 00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:45,857 Oscar night. 210 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,959 And I want it to be Oscar-specific. 211 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,060 - Michael, I... - No, no. 212 00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,962 I mean, not... not because you're gay. 213 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,197 Your gayness 214 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,698 - does not define you. - Okay. 215 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:57,068 Your Mexican-ness is what defines you to me. 216 00:08:57,070 --> 00:09:00,672 And I think we should celebrate Oscar's Mexicanity. 217 00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,407 So... Phyllis, 218 00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:06,211 I want you to go find firecrackers... 219 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,646 and a Chihuahua. 220 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:10,916 Pam, in the frozen food section, 221 00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:12,817 Swanson makes a delightful chimichanga. 222 00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,653 Why don't you have me riding in on a donkey 223 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,821 into the office, like Pepe? 224 00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,323 Ah... a burro. Of course. 225 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:21,326 If Oscar wants a donkey, let's get him one. 226 00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,263 Need any help? 227 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,766 Oh, no thank you. 228 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:29,734 I'm... I'm just looking. 229 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:30,835 Great. 230 00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:37,208 I will literally be standing right here 231 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:39,511 if you need anything at all. 232 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:44,049 Okay. 233 00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:49,487 I think I could go for some tuna fish right about now. 234 00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:52,324 Oh, oh, oh, got my rod here. 235 00:09:52,326 --> 00:09:54,559 Whizzzzzz... 236 00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:55,660 Bloop. 237 00:09:57,363 --> 00:09:58,496 Click, click. 238 00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:00,198 Click, click, click. 239 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,600 Click, click. 240 00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:02,834 Click, click, click, click. 241 00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:04,069 Click, click, click, click. 242 00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,103 Click, click, click... Argh! 243 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,404 Oop! Oh. 244 00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,106 I got one. I got one. 245 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,207 Eeh! 246 00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:12,577 Hey. 247 00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:14,346 - Hey. - Hey. 248 00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:18,350 So, Andy is in rare form today. 249 00:10:18,352 --> 00:10:21,152 Yeah, you should not encourage him. 250 00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:22,587 Encourage him? 251 00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:24,656 I'm the victim, okay? 252 00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:26,024 He's fishing for me. 253 00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,292 We've got to do something. 254 00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:30,161 Look, I've got, like, 15 new clients 255 00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,329 that I've inherited from Dwight, 256 00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,031 and each file is password protected 257 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,399 with a different mythical creature, 258 00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,835 so... I'm sorry. 259 00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:39,070 I can't. 260 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,839 Fine. 261 00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:42,407 Party pooper. 262 00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:47,445 Oop! Ooh. Rah! 263 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:48,680 Unh! 264 00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:49,714 Ooh! 265 00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:51,516 Ah! Whoa! 266 00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:53,652 Who's that sportscaster that bit that lady? 267 00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,120 Marv something? 268 00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,121 Floppin' around! 269 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:57,288 Andy is like Marv something. 270 00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,324 Great sportscaster... 271 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,626 big, weirdo creep. 272 00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:04,229 185 pounder. Check it out. 273 00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:06,798 Whew! Ahh! 274 00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:14,673 - Hey, Ryan? - What? 275 00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:16,474 Do you wanna pull a prank on Andy? 276 00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:21,079 Not right now, but ask me again 10 years ago. 277 00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:25,150 I liked you better as the temp. 278 00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:26,885 Me too. 279 00:11:28,387 --> 00:11:30,388 Hey, guys. 280 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:31,823 How's the workload 281 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,659 on all of Dwight's old accounts? 282 00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:35,593 Handling it okay? 283 00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:38,096 Sort of. He had a lot of clients. 284 00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:39,964 Yes, he did. 285 00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:41,633 Have any of you 286 00:11:41,635 --> 00:11:43,001 talked to Dwight? 287 00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,069 Oh, sure. 288 00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:45,570 We talk all the time. 289 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,305 - Really? - No. 290 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:48,506 Don't... don't do that. 291 00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:49,908 That's not nice. 292 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,609 What about you, Phyllis? 293 00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:53,178 You and Dwight were close. 294 00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:55,513 No. Sorry. 295 00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:56,848 Dwight had a big personality, 296 00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,950 and I have a big personality. 297 00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,218 And a lot of times 298 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,053 when two people like that get together, 299 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,089 it can be explosive. 300 00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:06,758 Really comin' down out there. 301 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,827 Commute's gonna be hell. 302 00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:11,162 I have snow tires and chains. 303 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:14,332 Plus exceptional eye-hand coordination. 304 00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:19,270 So, um, where were you workin' before this? 305 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:20,972 Dunder-Mifflin. 306 00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:22,974 What kind of company is that? 307 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,111 Paper company. 308 00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:28,913 They're only one of Staples' top competitors in the area. 309 00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:32,784 - I never heard of 'em. - Whoa. 310 00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:35,086 Really? Have you heard of paper? 311 00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:38,256 It's gonna be like that, huh? 312 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:41,126 I don't like him, his giant head, 313 00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,094 or his beady little eyes. 314 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,196 That's all I got to say on the matter. 315 00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:10,088 Would you like to pull a prank on Andy? 316 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:12,157 I'm kind of in the middle of... Yes, please. 317 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,324 Okay, good. 318 00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,626 Stay right here. 319 00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:22,133 - Oh. - Sorry about that. 320 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,601 Good move, Tuna. 321 00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:25,069 Nice one. 322 00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:29,741 Are there any messages? 323 00:13:29,743 --> 00:13:30,842 Nope. 324 00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:31,843 So weird. 325 00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:33,111 Hmm. 326 00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:45,323 Nice to have Oscar back. 327 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,424 Yeah. 328 00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:27,665 So how much do you love Lance Bass now? 329 00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,467 I don't know who that is. 330 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,169 You don't know who Lance Bass is? 331 00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:33,371 He's only one of the five best singers ever, 332 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,440 and, gay. 333 00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,208 I've never heard of him. 334 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:40,678 Oscar, you really need to learn more about your culture. 335 00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:57,829 I'm not fine. 336 00:14:57,831 --> 00:15:01,266 And no, I don't want to talk about it. 337 00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:03,868 - All right. - Okay, fine. 338 00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:06,704 What do you think of Andy? 339 00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,406 Uhm... 340 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:12,076 Because on paper, Andy and I should be best buds. 341 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:15,013 We even have the same Top Ten All-Time Favorite Movie list, 342 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:17,715 down to the number. 343 00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:20,184 Andy's a "Yes-man." 344 00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:21,352 Not all the time. 345 00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:24,055 Sometimes I'll say I don't like something, 346 00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,124 he says he doesn't like it, either. 347 00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:29,193 Right. 348 00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:31,596 He'll always agree with whatever you say. 349 00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:34,165 He did the same thing with Josh in Stamford. 350 00:15:36,468 --> 00:15:39,537 If he did that with Josh, he could be doing that with me. 351 00:15:41,073 --> 00:15:44,509 When I was five years old, I had these Spiderman pajamas. 352 00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:47,345 And one night, my mom was tucking me in, 353 00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:52,684 and she tried to give me a raspberry on my tummy. 354 00:15:52,686 --> 00:15:54,519 You know... pff-f-ft... 355 00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:57,422 and, uh, I tried to crawl away, 356 00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:59,290 and what happened was, 357 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:03,094 her eyes were closed, and she grabbed me... 358 00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:05,830 and she kissed me 359 00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:08,399 on my butt. 360 00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:11,402 And it was just the worst. 361 00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:17,608 So I know what it's like to have your butt kissed. 362 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:20,378 Literally. 363 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:23,648 And it-it-it's terrible. 364 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:26,718 And it better not be what Andy is doing. 365 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,333 Um... Large Tuna. 366 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:45,236 Have you seen my cell phone device? 367 00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,474 'Cause someone is calling right now. 368 00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:50,541 There is a call. 369 00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:12,230 Angela? 370 00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:17,268 Is everything okay? 371 00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:20,138 No. 372 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,306 I miss him. 373 00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:23,608 Dwight? 374 00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:26,310 No. John Denver. 375 00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:28,479 Okay. That's a good talk. 376 00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:31,649 Wait, I'm sorry. 377 00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:34,218 He's gone because of me. 378 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:37,188 I told him I would be upset if people knew about us, 379 00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:40,224 so he didn't have an alibi for Michael. 380 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,660 I denied him. 381 00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:45,797 I still think there's a way you can explain it to Michael. 382 00:17:45,799 --> 00:17:47,198 Somehow. 383 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,334 Pam, I am not like you. 384 00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:52,703 Walking around in your provocative outfits, 385 00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:56,741 saying whatever thought pops in your head 386 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,310 Yeah... that's me. 387 00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:04,749 Thank you. This was helpful. 388 00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,596 What are you talkin' about? 389 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:21,032 Where is my freaking phone? 390 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,236 You know what? Maybe it's in the ceiling. 391 00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:28,072 You know what? Maybe you're in the ceiling. 392 00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:33,044 I don't trust you, Phyllis. 393 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,084 Michael? 394 00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:41,185 Yes? 395 00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:43,421 Never mind, you're busy. I'll come back tomorrow. 396 00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,389 No, what is it? 397 00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:46,457 I... 398 00:18:49,228 --> 00:18:52,063 I just... 399 00:18:52,065 --> 00:18:52,063 I wanted to let you know 400 00:18:52,065 --> 00:18:53,764 that Dwight was late that morning 401 00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:55,199 because he had to drive to New York 402 00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:58,302 to drop off the correlated tax forms that I forgot to send. 403 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,908 Though to be fair, Kevin never reminded me. 404 00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:07,879 Why would Dwight do that for you? 405 00:19:07,881 --> 00:19:11,048 I think I know why. 406 00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:16,754 Because Dwight would do that for anyone here. 407 00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:21,325 Because Dwight loves this company, that's why. 408 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:24,061 Do you think that anyone else out there 409 00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:25,830 would have driven to corporate for you? 410 00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,632 None of them... 411 00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:30,468 especially not Andy. 412 00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:50,288 Pam, I have a mission to accomplish. 413 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:51,989 Make sure this party gets rolling, 414 00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:53,224 and I will be back shortly. 415 00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,358 Hey-oh. 416 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,459 Where are you going? Do you want me to come with? 417 00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:56,694 Um... 418 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:57,828 Just listen. 419 00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:00,598 I forgot to tell you the plan for this Saturday: 420 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,334 you, me, bar, beers, buzzed... 421 00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:05,203 wings, shots, drunk. 422 00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:07,271 Waitresses hot. 423 00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:10,708 Football... Cornell/Hofstra: slaughter. 424 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,144 Then quick nap at my place, and we hit the tiz-own. 425 00:20:13,146 --> 00:20:14,212 No. 426 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,380 I don't want to do any of that. 427 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,682 Duh. 428 00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:19,550 Which is why I was joking about doing it. 429 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,118 No, just stop. Stop. 430 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:21,118 Just stop doing it. 431 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:23,621 You're going to drive me crazy. 432 00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:28,125 Fine, I'll just go sit at my desk and be quiet. 433 00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:30,695 Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship. 434 00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,204 And I'm also sorry 435 00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:42,206 that a lot of people here 436 00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:44,242 for some reason think it's funny 437 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,344 to steal someone's personal property 438 00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:47,411 and hide it from him. 439 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,615 Here's a little news flash. 440 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,083 It's not funny! 441 00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:55,753 In fact, it's pretty freakin' unfunny! 442 00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,658 Oh, my God! 443 00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:02,059 Ow! 444 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,869 That was an overreaction. 445 00:21:12,237 --> 00:21:16,007 Gonna hit the break room. Does anybody want anything? 446 00:21:16,009 --> 00:21:16,907 Pam, you good? 447 00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:18,242 Yeah. 448 00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:19,310 Sure? Okay. 449 00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:25,516 I made a mess. 450 00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:27,852 I forced Dwight to resign prematurely, 451 00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:30,254 and I replace him with Andy, 452 00:21:30,256 --> 00:21:34,325 who loves this place so much, he punched a hole in it. 453 00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:36,627 It's a mess. A big mess. 454 00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,896 And it's weird, because this is not like me. 455 00:21:38,898 --> 00:21:43,601 I am usually the guy they call in to clean up the mess. 456 00:21:45,437 --> 00:21:50,508 Well, I guess today, I am going to have to call in myself. 457 00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:58,816 Eh. 458 00:22:07,125 --> 00:22:08,592 Dwight. 459 00:22:08,594 --> 00:22:10,461 Dwight! 460 00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:12,163 I'm sorry. 461 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,901 No, that question is meaningless. 462 00:22:16,903 --> 00:22:18,469 Just go with the copy paper. 463 00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:19,904 It's your funeral. 464 00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:21,539 See how that works out for you. 465 00:22:24,476 --> 00:22:25,643 Hey. 466 00:22:27,546 --> 00:22:28,546 Hey. 467 00:22:28,548 --> 00:22:29,780 What's up? 468 00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:33,384 Same old. 469 00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:37,955 Um... 470 00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:45,763 It takes a big man to admit his mistake. 471 00:22:45,765 --> 00:22:48,299 And I am that big man. 472 00:22:48,301 --> 00:22:51,602 Angela from accounting told me what you did. 473 00:22:51,604 --> 00:22:53,037 Oh, my God, she told you? 474 00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:54,305 Yes, she did. 475 00:22:54,307 --> 00:22:56,240 And, Dwight... 476 00:22:56,242 --> 00:22:59,777 if you were willing to do something like that 477 00:22:59,779 --> 00:23:01,979 for some random co-worker, 478 00:23:01,981 --> 00:23:08,252 then clearly I misjudged you from the beginning... 479 00:23:08,254 --> 00:23:10,721 and I apologize. 480 00:23:13,291 --> 00:23:15,726 Accepted. 481 00:23:19,965 --> 00:23:22,032 How's this place treating you? 482 00:23:22,034 --> 00:23:24,435 The boss isn't funny. 483 00:23:24,437 --> 00:23:25,469 Ooh, well. 484 00:23:25,471 --> 00:23:26,637 I don't get to wear my ties. 485 00:23:26,639 --> 00:23:27,638 No. 486 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:28,672 I'm sure. 487 00:23:28,674 --> 00:23:29,707 So? 488 00:23:29,709 --> 00:23:31,409 So maybe you should come back. 489 00:23:33,078 --> 00:23:34,812 You should come back. 490 00:23:34,814 --> 00:23:36,580 Please. 491 00:23:37,816 --> 00:23:39,917 I don't want to do your laundry anymore. 492 00:23:40,986 --> 00:23:43,587 We can talk about that. 493 00:23:49,561 --> 00:23:51,128 All right. 494 00:24:02,475 --> 00:24:03,841 Oh, my God. 495 00:24:03,843 --> 00:24:05,810 That's half-inch drywall. 496 00:24:05,812 --> 00:24:07,711 I think we broke his brain. 497 00:24:10,215 --> 00:24:12,283 It's not freakin' funny. 498 00:24:14,253 --> 00:24:16,520 Are you enjoying your fiesta? 499 00:24:16,522 --> 00:24:17,855 Actually, yeah. 500 00:24:17,857 --> 00:24:20,024 I didn't think I would, but turns 501 00:24:20,026 --> 00:24:21,492 out it's great. 502 00:24:21,494 --> 00:24:22,993 Ladies and gentlemen! 503 00:24:22,995 --> 00:24:24,495 May I present... 504 00:24:24,497 --> 00:24:25,729 Mr. Dwight Schrute! 505 00:24:25,731 --> 00:24:27,031 - Yay. - Yay. 506 00:24:31,603 --> 00:24:33,037 Welcome back. 507 00:24:33,039 --> 00:24:35,072 Thank you. 508 00:24:38,043 --> 00:24:40,411 Okay, Dwight, you can let go of her hand. 509 00:24:40,413 --> 00:24:41,912 You're gonna break it. 510 00:24:41,914 --> 00:24:45,182 Not bad, huh? 511 00:24:45,184 --> 00:24:46,784 You did this for me? 512 00:24:48,553 --> 00:24:50,921 Guilty. 513 00:24:58,930 --> 00:25:00,898 Where'd you get this stuff? 514 00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:02,166 Gerdy's. 515 00:25:02,168 --> 00:25:03,601 Which aisle? 516 00:25:03,603 --> 00:25:04,902 I don't remember. 517 00:25:04,904 --> 00:25:07,304 Well, draw me a map, mama. 518 00:25:09,274 --> 00:25:10,407 Pam. 519 00:25:10,409 --> 00:25:12,409 I will shake mine, and then you will- 520 00:25:12,411 --> 00:25:14,478 No, I will not. 521 00:25:20,585 --> 00:25:22,086 My God... 522 00:25:23,922 --> 00:25:26,557 So does this remind you of your childhood, or anything? 523 00:25:29,227 --> 00:25:31,262 It reminds me a lot of The Three Amigos, 524 00:25:31,264 --> 00:25:33,864 with Steve Martin and Chevy Chase. 525 00:25:33,866 --> 00:25:35,833 Wow. Thank you. 526 00:25:36,635 --> 00:25:39,370 Wow, that's... Thanks so much. 527 00:25:47,012 --> 00:25:48,078 Hey. 528 00:25:54,453 --> 00:25:57,354 Do you still have feelings for her? 529 00:26:03,795 --> 00:26:04,862 Yes. 530 00:26:20,312 --> 00:26:24,815 And now, ladies and gentlemen, the big finale. 531 00:26:24,817 --> 00:26:27,117 Sir, would you do the honor? 532 00:26:28,153 --> 00:26:29,620 Oh, man. 533 00:26:31,489 --> 00:26:33,123 No, no, no. 534 00:26:33,125 --> 00:26:34,792 I don't need it. 535 00:26:36,394 --> 00:26:37,595 Get out! 536 00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:43,434 It takes a big man to admit his mistake, 537 00:26:43,436 --> 00:26:45,836 and that's what I did. 538 00:26:45,838 --> 00:26:48,172 The important thing is... 539 00:26:48,174 --> 00:26:50,441 I learned something. 540 00:26:50,443 --> 00:26:53,777 I don't want somebody sucking up to me 541 00:26:53,779 --> 00:26:56,614 because they think I am going to help their career. 542 00:26:56,616 --> 00:27:00,618 I want them sucking up to me 543 00:27:00,620 --> 00:27:05,089 because they genuinely love me. 544 00:27:05,091 --> 00:27:06,657 Hmm. 545 00:27:08,693 --> 00:27:10,027 So Michael had a little chat with corporate, 546 00:27:10,029 --> 00:27:14,164 and they decided to send me to management training. 547 00:27:14,166 --> 00:27:17,434 Anger management, technically, but still... 548 00:27:17,436 --> 00:27:19,837 management material. 549 00:27:20,538 --> 00:27:22,106 This whole thing is supposed to take ten weeks, 550 00:27:22,108 --> 00:27:23,440 I expect to be done in five. 551 00:27:23,442 --> 00:27:23,440 How? 552 00:27:23,442 --> 00:27:26,043 Name repetition, personality mirroring, 553 00:27:26,045 --> 00:27:30,414 and positive reinforcement through nods and smiles. 554 00:27:30,416 --> 00:27:32,483 So, don't worry about old Andy Bernard, 555 00:27:32,485 --> 00:27:34,051 I'll be back. 556 00:27:34,053 --> 00:27:35,119 Just like Rambo. 557 00:27:35,121 --> 00:27:36,987 - Oh, hi, you must be Andy. - Oh, hi. 558 00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:40,024 Yes, I am, and you must be Marcy. 559 00:27:40,026 --> 00:27:41,392 That's right. It's so good to meet you. 560 00:27:41,394 --> 00:27:43,594 - It's so good to meet you. - Thanks. 561 00:27:43,596 --> 00:27:46,330 - Well, ready to have some fun? - Yeah. 561 00:27:47,305 --> 00:28:47,409 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/zxez Help other users to choose the best subtitles