1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,669
Oh, damn.

2
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:05,137
Lost another file.

3
00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:06,905
Gonna have to reboot...
again.

4
00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:11,477
Hey, Dwight,
do you want an Altoid?

5
00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:14,613
What do you think?

6
00:00:16,716 --> 00:00:19,718
In school, we learned
about this scientist

7
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,554
who trained dogs to salivate
at the sound of a bell

8
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:25,357
by feeding them
whenever a bell rang.

9
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,925
So for the past couple weeks

10
00:00:26,927 --> 00:00:30,462
I've been conducting
a similar experiment.

11
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:33,966
Dwight, want an Altoid?

12
00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:36,635
Okay.

13
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:38,604
Altoid?

14
00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:41,373
Sure.

15
00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:43,610
Altoid?

16
00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:48,380
Yes.

17
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,186
What are you doing?

18
00:00:56,022 --> 00:00:57,222
I...

19
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:58,290
What?

20
00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:00,025
I don't know, I...

21
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:04,763
Oh, my mouth tastes so bad
all of a sudden.

22
00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:08,200
Ugh.

23
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:16,074
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==-

24
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,401
Always the bridesmaids.

25
00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:44,169
Right, ladies?

26
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:45,871
Okay, for this next one,
everybody hop out.

27
00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:48,140
Just Phyllis and Dad.

28
00:01:48,142 --> 00:01:50,609
Actually, let's bring Mom
back in.

29
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,311
And the sisters.

30
00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:54,379
And you and you and you.

31
00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:57,683
Great.

32
00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,284
Phyllis is getting married.

33
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,853
And I am in the wedding party.

34
00:02:00,855 --> 00:02:02,187
She has asked me

35
00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:03,755
to push her father's
wheelchair down the aisle.

36
00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:07,426
So basically,
I am co-giving away the bride.

37
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,294
Since I pay her salary,

38
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,964
it is like I am paying
for the wedding.

39
00:02:11,966 --> 00:02:13,198
Which I'm happy to do.

40
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,733
It's a big day for Phyllis.

41
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:17,169
But it's an even bigger day
for me.

42
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,905
Employer of the bride.

43
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:23,242
Yes, I put Michael
in my wedding.

44
00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:24,943
It was the only way
I could think

45
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:28,380
to get six weeks off
for my honeymoon.

46
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:31,283
No one else has ever gotten
six weeks before.

47
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:35,053
Phyllis ended up using
the exact same invitations

48
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,489
as Roy and me.

49
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,825
So it was kind of like
being invited

50
00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,193
to my own wedding.

51
00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:43,128
And I was like, wait...

52
00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:45,164
I thought I called that off.

53
00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:48,467
So, what's in the box?

54
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,702
A toaster. You?

55
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,171
Uh, toaster.

56
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:54,540
Unbelievable.

57
00:02:56,809 --> 00:02:58,610
Hello, Angela.

58
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:02,781
You look as beautiful
as the Queen of England.

59
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,316
Thank you.

60
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:07,920
Don't linger.
Break left.

61
00:03:07,922 --> 00:03:10,489
Left.

62
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:17,162
The Schrutes
have their own traditions.

63
00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:20,399
We usually marry
standing in our own graves.

64
00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:22,668
Makes the funerals
very romantic.

65
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:25,504
But the weddings
are a bleak affair.

66
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:27,906
Those flowers are nice.

67
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:31,143
Yeah. "P and R?"

68
00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:32,277
"Phyllis and Robert."

69
00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:34,513
Ah, of course.

70
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:36,448
Also "Pam and Roy."

71
00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:41,486
There she is!

72
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:43,288
I swear, Phyllis,
you are as beautiful

73
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:44,723
as the first day
you started work

74
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:45,791
at Dunder-Mifflin.

75
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:48,260
Thanks, Michael.
That's sweet.

76
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:50,162
Same as when you said it
outside.

77
00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:51,396
Mm, how you doing?

78
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,432
You excited?

79
00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:54,433
Yes, very.

80
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:55,701
Me too.

81
00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:59,605
If, um... if you need to vomit,
that is okay.

82
00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:01,073
I did.

83
00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:02,507
Do you want to talk
about tonight?

84
00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:03,642
No.

85
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,244
Because I know
you're probably worried

86
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:06,411
about pleasing Bob.

87
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,580
A lot of pressure.

88
00:04:10,149 --> 00:04:12,150
Phyllis, did you break wind?

89
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:15,053
It's okay if you did.

90
00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:17,089
It's a very natural reaction.

91
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:18,857
It's your wedding
and you're nervous.

92
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:21,660
Um, that wasn't me.

93
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,895
Okay.

94
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:26,064
Um...

95
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:30,135
I'm sure that Bob...

96
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:33,872
wow, that is...

97
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,140
that is pungent.

98
00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:37,843
Um, I lost my train of thought.

99
00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:40,379
Uh...

100
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:41,680
are you set on that hairstyle?

101
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:43,782
I thought it was...

102
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:44,850
Here, let me...

103
00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:46,018
Michael, no.

104
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:47,819
Just cover up that bald patch.

105
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:48,820
No, Michael.

106
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,355
Please, I just need
some time alone.

107
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:52,024
Okay, okay.

108
00:04:52,026 --> 00:04:53,292
You might be surprised to learn

109
00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:55,794
that I have only been
to one other wedding.

110
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,896
It's actually a very cute story.

111
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,364
My mom was marrying Jeff

112
00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:01,600
and they asked me
to be ring bearer.

113
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,635
And I was understandably
emotional

114
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,238
and somehow my pants became wet.

115
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:11,376
I hate you!

116
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:12,611
Long story short...

117
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:15,714
Jeff's dog ended up
as ring bearer.

118
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:19,818
And the irony is that
after the ceremony,

119
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:24,356
that dog peed on everything.

120
00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:26,291
And nobody said boo.

121
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:28,060
Why are all these people here?

122
00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:30,228
There's too many people
on this earth.

123
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,297
We need a new plague.

124
00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:33,899
Who are all these people?

125
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:35,267
You know what?

126
00:05:35,269 --> 00:05:37,436
I bet a lot of them are
wedding crashers. No way.

127
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:39,638
Did you ever see that movie?
Of course I saw it.

128
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,240
I saw Wedding Crashers
accidentally.

129
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:43,508
I bought a ticket
for Grizzly Man

130
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,010
and went into the wrong theater.

131
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,045
After an hour, I figured
I was in the wrong theater.

132
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,947
But I kept waiting.

133
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:50,582
Because that's the thing
about bear attacks...

134
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,484
They come when
you least expect it.

135
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:53,719
You know, I just wish...

136
00:05:53,721 --> 00:05:55,354
I wish I had
the investigative powers

137
00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,589
to actually smoke
some of these guys out,

138
00:05:57,591 --> 00:06:00,592
you know?

139
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:03,562
Once again, Jim...
I will take care of this.

140
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:05,630
I will locate
the wedding crashers

141
00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:08,266
and report them to Phyllis.

142
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:10,369
That way
I won't have to get her a gift.

143
00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,304
Hi, I'm Kevin.

144
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,174
Where'd you find her?

145
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:19,177
At the gym.

146
00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:20,846
Right.

147
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:22,814
The gym!

148
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:27,552
Could you scoot over?
You're on my dress.

149
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:28,587
I thought you're not supposed

150
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:29,688
to wear white to a wedding.

151
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:32,190
I know, but there was
an emergency.

152
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:35,193
I look really good in white.

153
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:37,229
This strapping young lad
sitting here

154
00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:38,463
is Phyllis' father, Elbert.

155
00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:39,965
And he is quite the ladies' man,

156
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:41,900
aren't you, Elbert, huh?

157
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,402
Ah, ring bearer.

158
00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:46,004
I could've done better.

159
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:47,639
I will do better.

160
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:49,708
I am going to be better.

161
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,276
Can't believe I'm actually
doing this.

162
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,013
Are you ready for this, Elbert?

163
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:56,915
I am.

164
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,650
Let's do it!

165
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:08,326
That's my dress.

166
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:28,580
No, no, it's okay.

167
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:29,748
It's...

168
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,853
It's a miracle.

169
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,434
This is bull.

170
00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:52,704
Me walking Phyllis
down the aisle

171
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,372
was supposed to be
the highlight of the wedding.

172
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:57,843
And now...
the wedding has no highlight.

173
00:08:05,117 --> 00:08:07,719
I can't believe I pushed that...

174
00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:11,490
that guy's lazy ass around
all day

175
00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:14,226
until he was ready to stand up

176
00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:15,560
and steal the show.

177
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:16,628
That's...

178
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:19,598
well, I got news for you,
Elbert...

179
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,433
if that's your real name...

180
00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:22,968
the show's not over.

181
00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:47,592
Phyllis and Bob,
Bob and Phyllis...

182
00:08:58,804 --> 00:09:01,172
And do you, Phyllis,
take Bob Vance

183
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,641
of Vance Refrigeration

184
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,242
to be your lawfully
wedded husband.

185
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:05,677
I do.

186
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,045
Ladies and gentlemen!

187
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,380
May I present to you,

188
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,382
for the first time as a couple,

189
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,851
Mr. and Mrs. Bob Vance!

190
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,492
And do you, Bob, take Phyllis

191
00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:21,960
Oh, shh...

192
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,995
to be your lawfully wedded wife?

193
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,263
I do.

194
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:26,431
You may now kiss the bride.

195
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:27,465
Ladies and gentlemen!

196
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:28,867
For the first time as a couple,

197
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,168
Mr. and Mrs. Bob Vance!

198
00:09:32,271 --> 00:09:34,139
Yeah!

199
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:37,409
That's what I'm talking about!

200
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,177
Congratulations, Phyllis.

201
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:40,178
Oh, thank you.

202
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,113
You look lovely.

203
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,249
Your dress is very white.

204
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,084
So white my eyes are burning.

205
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,252
Thanks, Angela.

206
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:50,021
Congratulations, Bob.
You're a good man.

207
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,323
But just know...

208
00:09:51,325 --> 00:09:53,592
if you ever lay a finger
on Phyllis,

209
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:54,826
I will kill you.

210
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:56,828
If yo ever lay a finger
on Phyllis,

211
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,763
I'll kill you.

212
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,165
Agreed.

213
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:01,900
No fingers will be laid
on Phyllis!

214
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,103
Oh, decide
to sit down again, huh?

215
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,237
Great.

216
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,340
Bet you can hear me too.

217
00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:09,374
Best of luck, Phyllis.

218
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:10,575
Also, I'm gonna need to see

219
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:11,776
a copy of the guest manifest,

220
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,478
as well as photographs
of the caterers.

221
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,813
I don't have that, Dwight.

222
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,715
Damn it, Phyllis!

223
00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:20,685
Are you all right?

224
00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:22,954
This must be so awful for you.
What do you mean?

225
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,357
Well, this was supposed
to be your wedding.

226
00:10:25,359 --> 00:10:29,194
Oh, um, no, that's, um...

227
00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:30,462
it's actually fine.

228
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:31,630
There's no way it's fine.

229
00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:32,797
I'm sorry.

230
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,366
If I was you, I would just,
like, freak out

231
00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:35,533
and get really drunk

232
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:36,668
and then tell someone
I was pregnant.

233
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:39,070
Okay, that's a lot
of good ideas.

234
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:41,506
Thanks.

235
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,150
Excuse me, sir.

236
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,551
How do you know
the happy couple?

237
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:54,853
Who?

238
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:57,122
The bride and groom.
What are their names?

239
00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:59,691
Oh, I... I don't, uh...

240
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:01,026
I'm not sure.

241
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,193
Oh, I get it, I get it.

242
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,595
Come on, freeloader,
let's move it.

243
00:11:03,597 --> 00:11:04,829
Oh.
Come on!

244
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,197
Come on!
Okay, okay.

245
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,232
Where are we going?

246
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:08,299
Gotta find yourself

247
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:09,367
another wedding to crash,
my friend.

248
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:10,702
Oh!

249
00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:12,904
Phyllis, are you happy
with everything?

250
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:15,206
What can I do
to make it more perfect-er?

251
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,574
Oh, it's beautiful.

252
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:18,209
Why don't you find your seat

253
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:19,277
and enjoy the buffet?

254
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,345
I'm already on it.

255
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,546
Chicken, totally undercooked.

256
00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:22,547
I sent it back.

257
00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:23,882
It's fish.

258
00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:25,850
I will take care of that.

259
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,019
I do... I know a fair amount

260
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,121
about fine food and drink.

261
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,256
Um...

262
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,159
This is a white.

263
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:36,161
No, this is not
our first wedding.

264
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:38,596
This is the third wedding

265
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:41,166
that Scrantonicity has played.

266
00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:43,568
We also played
our bassist's wedding

267
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:47,539
and our guitarist's wedding.

268
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:49,708
Attention, everyone.
Attention, please.

269
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:51,443
Uh, I'm supposed to ask

270
00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:54,679
if anyone has seen Uncle Al.

271
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:58,683
He is old and has brown eyes
and dementia.

272
00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:00,985
His family is very concerned.

273
00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:02,987
It's a very serious

274
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:06,791
situation.

275
00:12:17,603 --> 00:12:18,603
Hey.

276
00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:21,072
Hey.

277
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,574
I know I don't normally notice

278
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:25,310
these kind of things, but, uh...

279
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:26,611
this wedding's really nice.

280
00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:28,680
I mean, the flowers and stuff.

281
00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:30,949
Phyllis has got
some great taste.

282
00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:32,083
You're kidding me, right?

283
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,151
I know you probably

284
00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,452
aren't gonna remember this,

285
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:38,089
but, um, those color roses...

286
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:41,159
I got you those color roses
for our prom.

287
00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:44,696
Roy, I picked those flowers.

288
00:12:44,698 --> 00:12:47,866
Phyllis just stole all
of my ideas for our wedding.

289
00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:53,738
I guess I wasn't really

290
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,240
too involved in the planning.

291
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:56,508
Yeah.

292
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:57,542
Sorry about that.

293
00:12:57,544 --> 00:13:00,044
It's okay.

294
00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:01,880
Well, you think
it sucks for you.

295
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:03,615
I'm the one who actually wanted

296
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:06,351
to get married.

297
00:13:20,499 --> 00:13:23,668
Phyllis,
you're a wonderful woman.

298
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:26,070
And you're a hell of a bowler!

299
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:28,840
She is.

300
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,241
Cheers!

301
00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:32,010
Cheers!

302
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:33,178
Thank you, Randy!

303
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:35,146
That was great.
Thank you.

304
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,749
Thank you very much.

305
00:13:37,751 --> 00:13:38,983
Hi, I'm Michael Scott.

306
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,419
And for the next 40 minutes,

307
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,288
I am going to be your tour guide

308
00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:46,090
through the lives
of Phyllis Lapin and Bob Vance.

309
00:13:46,092 --> 00:13:47,492
One of the great,

310
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:51,963
seemingly impossible
love stories of our time.

311
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:54,432
My name is Michael Scott.

312
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:58,436
Webster's Dictionary
defines "wedding"

313
00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:01,539
as the fusing of two metals

314
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,808
with a hot torch.

315
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,310
Well, you know something?

316
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:10,648
I think you guys
are two metals...

317
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:13,051
gold medals.

318
00:14:16,322 --> 00:14:17,922
For those of you
who don't know me,

319
00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:22,427
I'm Michael Scott,
Phyllis' boss.

320
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:28,066
To quote from
The Princess Bride,

321
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,868
"Marriage"

322
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:31,369
The most important part
of a speech

323
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,171
is the opening line.

324
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,472
When time is not a factor,

325
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,875
I like to try out
three or four different ones.

326
00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:38,576
Phyllis and Bob...

327
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,678
their celebrity couple name

328
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:44,315
would be "Phlob."

329
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,552
You look at her,

330
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:50,021
and she's kind
of matronly today.

331
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,356
But back in high school,

332
00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:56,261
I swear her nickname
was "Easy Rider."

333
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:57,695
Now, as for Bob...

334
00:14:57,697 --> 00:14:58,930
Bob Vance...

335
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,265
Okay, that's enough.
Thanks.

336
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,499
Is a guy that...
Thanks, Michael.

337
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:02,600
Give me the microphone.
He works...

338
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:03,835
Okay, hold on.
Hold on, hold on.

339
00:15:03,837 --> 00:15:06,537
Look, um...

340
00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:07,805
I didn't say anything

341
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:10,141
when Phyllis' dad upstaged me
at the ceremony.

342
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,277
And I think
you owe me this, okay?

343
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:13,511
Give me the microphone.

344
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:14,846
No, I'm not going to.

345
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:16,848
It's okay.
Okay, good.

346
00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:18,082
You're outta here!

347
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,284
Yeah, I'm...
you're outta here.

348
00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:20,286
I hate you!

349
00:15:29,194 --> 00:15:30,228
Hey!

350
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,030
Hey.

351
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,464
When are we gonna get to see

352
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,566
some of those famous
Beesly dance moves?

353
00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:37,268
Oh.

354
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,403
I'm pacing myself.

355
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:40,605
Come on, get out there!

356
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:41,873
Give the people what they want.

357
00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:43,775
No, I'm such a dorky dancer.

358
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:44,976
I know!

359
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:48,680
And it's very cute.

360
00:15:48,682 --> 00:15:54,719
Hypothetically, if I thought
Pam was interested, then...

361
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:58,523
No, it's totally hypothetical.

362
00:16:03,395 --> 00:16:04,462
Come... come on!

363
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,763
I can't let you in, Michael.

364
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:06,965
Dwight, just...

365
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,599
No, it's Bob and Phyllis'
orders.

366
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,134
Look, I just wanted to go in

367
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,971
and quietly sit
and have a piece of cake.

368
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,439
I'm not even gonna dance.

369
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:15,606
One song maybe.

370
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:16,908
You are a real-life
wedding crasher

371
00:16:16,910 --> 00:16:18,142
and I must bounce you.

372
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,478
I'm sorry.
It gives me no pleasure.

373
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,946
Okay.

374
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:05,023
Hey.

375
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:07,458
They're playing our song, huh?

376
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,527
Yeah, that's weird.

377
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:12,196
I thought they only played
The Police.

378
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,464
I know.

379
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:15,066
I, uh...

380
00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:16,567
I gave 'em 20 bucks.

381
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,939
You wanna dance?

382
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,712
Hey, you want
to get out of here?

383
00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:19,097
Here's a non-hypothetical.

384
00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:21,432
I'm really happy I'm with Karen.

385
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,667
[playing The Police's

386
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:38,249
One, two, three!

387
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:47,558
Totally! Yeah!

388
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,361
I just want Phyllis
to have a great day.

389
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:54,699
Phyllis and you
will be great together.

390
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,434
We are great together.

391
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:57,835
We are a great team.

392
00:18:57,837 --> 00:19:01,139
The Celtics were a great team.

393
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:04,742
Yes, yes... they were.

394
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:09,147
Robert Parrish.

395
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:10,214
I should talk to her.

396
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:13,985
I don't want this
to ruin her honeymoon.

397
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:15,786
Well, nobody ever helped me.

398
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,321
I had to do it myself.

399
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,557
Even the doctor didn't know.

400
00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:20,992
Dude, keep it together.

401
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,727
I listened to you
for a half an hour

402
00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,028
even though most of that stuff

403
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:25,530
went right over my head.

404
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:26,998
Oh.

405
00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:38,809
Phyllis...

406
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:41,179
Phyllis, wait, please?

407
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:42,213
I'm sorry.

408
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:45,049
I just wanted to make this
a day to remember.

409
00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:47,051
You found Uncle Al!

410
00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:50,454
Yeah, yeah,
he's kind of a weirdo.

411
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:51,956
Thank you, Michael.
You're...

412
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,625
You're welcome.

413
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:55,760
They say that your wedding day

414
00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:56,994
goes by in such a flash

415
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,262
that you're lucky
if you even get

416
00:19:58,264 --> 00:19:59,463
a piece of your own cake.

417
00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:02,800
I say that's crazy.

418
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:04,735
I say, "Let them eat cake."

419
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:09,941
Margaret Thatcher said that
about marriage.

420
00:20:09,943 --> 00:20:13,678
Smart broad.

421
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,314
Be careful with the...

422
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:17,316
Oh no!

423
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:21,152
Oh, wow!

424
00:20:21,154 --> 00:20:23,988
Phyllis, Phyllis!
Come on!

425
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:26,157
You look like a clown.
Here.

426
00:20:26,159 --> 00:20:27,625
Get me, get me!

427
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:30,328
Ah!

428
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:32,396
Oh!

428
00:20:33,305 --> 00:21:33,524
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