1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,535
Good morning, Pam.

2
00:00:03,537 --> 00:00:05,471
Oh, welcome back, Andy.

3
00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:07,940
Drew.
I'm Drew now.

4
00:00:07,942 --> 00:00:09,475
Oh... Drew.

5
00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:10,809
Sorry.

6
00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:14,146
Apology not accepted.

7
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,115
Because it wasn't even necessary

8
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:17,883
in the first place.

9
00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:19,685
Several weeks ago,

10
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:22,354
Andy Bernard had an incident.

11
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,389
Gaaah!

12
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:24,723
Ohh!

13
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:27,793
But after five weeks
in anger management,

14
00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:28,794
I'm back.

15
00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:30,662
And I've got a new attitude.

16
00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:32,564
And a new name.

17
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:35,334
And... a bunch
of new techniques

18
00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:37,036
for dealing with the grumpies.

19
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,737
Morning, Jim.

20
00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:40,472
Hey, Andy.
How are you, man?

21
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,541
Good. Drew.

22
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:43,609
What's that?

23
00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:45,177
You can call me Drew.

24
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:46,912
No, I'm not gonna call you that.

25
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,048
Cool.

26
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:50,382
I can't control what you do.

27
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,818
I can only control what I do.

28
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:53,852
Andy.

29
00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:55,721
Drew.

30
00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:58,223
Dwight.

31
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:01,693
How's it going, man?

32
00:01:03,096 --> 00:01:05,497
Yes, I have decided
to shun Andy Bernard

33
00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:06,899
for the next three years.

34
00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:08,934
Which I'm looking forward to.

35
00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:10,903
It's an Amish technique.

36
00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:12,938
It's like slapping someone
with silence.

37
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:14,506
I was shunned
from the age of four

38
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:15,808
until my sixth birthday

39
00:01:15,810 --> 00:01:18,844
for not saving the excess oil
from a can of tuna.

40
00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:21,947
Jim, could you please
inform Andy Bernard

41
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:24,483
that he is being shunned.

42
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,251
Andy, Dwight says welcome back,

43
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,853
and he could use a hug.

44
00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,988
Okay, tell him
that that's not true.

45
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,590
Dwight says that he actually
doesn't know

46
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,258
one single fact
about bear attacks.

47
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:34,526
- Okay, no, Jim...
- You guys.

48
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:37,796
Tell him bears can climb
faster than they can run.

49
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:38,864
Jim!

50
00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:40,799
Tell him!

51
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:42,601
Andy...
Nah, that's too far.

52
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,670
Damn you.

53
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:52,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

54
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:09,261
Today is safety training day.

55
00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:11,463
Toby is leading ours upstairs.

56
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:12,464
Yuck.

57
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,733
But I am giving everyone

58
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,435
a little bit of a treat.

59
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:18,504
We are going to listen in
on Darryl's presentation

60
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:19,671
to the warehouse.

61
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:23,275
And if I know Darryl,
it gonna be zoppity.

62
00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:24,943
Now...

63
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:27,479
this is the forklift.

64
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:28,881
You need... you need

65
00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:31,717
a license to operate
this machine.

66
00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:34,453
That means the upstairs
office workers can't drive it.

67
00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:35,854
Quiz. Mike.

68
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:36,989
Hmm?

69
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:38,023
Should you drive the forklift?

70
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:39,124
I can, and I have.

71
00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:40,125
No, no, no, no, no, no!

72
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,160
I said should you?

73
00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:42,728
You should not drive it.

74
00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,429
You should not
drive the forklift.

75
00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:45,931
- You understand?
- You're now allowed to drive the forklift.

76
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:47,566
It's not safe.
You don't have a license.

77
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:50,035
Guys, I'm not the only one
who's driven the forklift.

78
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:51,703
Pudge has driven the forklift.

79
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,205
Madge.

80
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:54,606
I thought your name was Pudge.

81
00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,441
No, it's always been Madge.

82
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,210
Okay.

83
00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,278
Um, her.

84
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,747
Her, yes, "her" is qualified

85
00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:02,948
to work a dangerous machine.

86
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:03,982
You are not.

87
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,651
Okay?

88
00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:06,785
Ah... fine.

89
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:07,819
Do you understand that?

90
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,154
Yesh.

91
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:10,789
We do safety training
every year.

92
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,824
Or after an accident.

93
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,527
We've never made it a full year.

94
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,196
This particular time,

95
00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:20,032
I was reaching for a supply box
on the top shelf,

96
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:24,703
when one office worker
who shall remain nameless

97
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,472
kicked the ladder out
from under me and yelled...

98
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:29,241
"Hey, Darryl,
how's it hangin'?"

99
00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:33,645
And I fell
and busted my ankle and...

100
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:36,381
I'm legitimately scared
for my workers.

101
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:40,352
The bailer can flatten
a car engine.

102
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:43,689
It can cut off your arm
and crush your entire body

103
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:44,790
without skipping a beat.

104
00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,058
Yeah!

105
00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:47,192
It's on.

106
00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:49,461
How many people a year
do you think

107
00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:51,296
get their arms cut off
in a bailer?

108
00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:53,198
Bail 'er?
I hardly know her.

109
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,600
Damn it, Michael,
pay attention, man.

110
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,235
Anybody wanna take a guess?

111
00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:58,237
Five bucks says it's over 50.

112
00:03:58,239 --> 00:03:59,238
You really wanna bet?

113
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,305
Anybody?

114
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:01,440
Ever since March Madness ended,

115
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:02,941
I am so bored.

116
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:04,042
- How many?
- Okay, you're on.

117
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:06,044
Ten people, Michael.

118
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,546
Ten people.

119
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:08,847
Would you like
to be one of them?

120
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:09,948
No, don't worry about it.

121
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,116
We'll just go double or nothing.

122
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:12,451
On what?

123
00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:13,452
I don't know.
We'll figure something out.

124
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:14,953
What are you guys talking about?

125
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:17,556
These are very dangerous
machines down here.

126
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:21,326
And the upstairs workers,
Michael...

127
00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:23,128
should not go
anywhere near them.

128
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:24,496
Yes, yes.

129
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:26,198
But it wouldn't be
the worst thing in the world...

130
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,733
It would be the worst thing
in the world, it would!

131
00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:29,534
What the hell
is wrong with this man?

132
00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:31,303
It's a big, red trash compactor.

133
00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:33,238
It's not a trash compactor!

134
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:34,373
It's a bailer.

135
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,475
Okay, I got it!
I got it!

136
00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:38,343
Only on the rarest
of occasions...

137
00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:39,911
No, do not touch it!

138
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,314
There is no occasion for you
to go near this stuff, okay?

139
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,550
Toby now has the floor.

140
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:48,020
And he is going to try
not to screw this up.

141
00:04:48,022 --> 00:04:50,155
Like everything else
in his life.

142
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:52,591
Let me rephrase that.

143
00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:54,826
I believe that you can do
safety training

144
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:57,095
and make it sound
just as good as Darryl.

145
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,465
Here we go!

146
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:03,001
Okay, um... one thing
you're gonna wanna look out for

147
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,303
is carpal tunnel syndrome.

148
00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:05,804
It's recommended that you take

149
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,906
a ten-minute break
from typing every hour.

150
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:10,142
For your circulation, um,

151
00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:11,677
you're gonna wanna get up
out of your chairs,

152
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:14,479
and, uh, and move around
about ten minutes every hour.

153
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,181
Yes, good, fine.

154
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:17,783
Like stretching and...

155
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:18,984
Um... yeah.

156
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,319
Your computer screen

157
00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,354
can be a big strain
on your eyes.

158
00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:25,057
So it's also recommended
that you step away

159
00:05:25,059 --> 00:05:27,192
for about... about
ten minutes every hour.

160
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:29,594
Wow, that is...
that time really adds up.

161
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:31,997
That's like a half an hour
every hour.

162
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,333
Take them at the same time.

163
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:35,434
Okay, you know what?

164
00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:36,868
You're making it
sound kind of lame.

165
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:40,472
So skip ahead to the really
dangerous stuff.

166
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:43,175
Like sometimes,
computers can explode.

167
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,209
Can they not?

168
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:45,444
No, no.

169
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:49,514
Um, you always want
to keep a sweater or cardigan

170
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,850
of some sort
in case it gets drafty.

171
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,118
What about
a long-sleeved tee?

172
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,119
Well, that'll work.

173
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,721
Long johns? A shawl?

174
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,155
You know, anything
that warms you.

175
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,390
Okay, you know what?

176
00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:00,225
I think that everybody
is going to vomit

177
00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:01,560
due to boredom.

178
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:04,529
Sorry, he is very lame.

179
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:07,232
Um... let's see.

180
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,134
Seasonal affective disorder.

181
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,370
"A depression
that includes weight gain,

182
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,871
"fatigue, irritability,

183
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,273
brought on by the low light
of winter."

184
00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:17,376
Thank God we only had
the bailer to deal with.

185
00:06:17,378 --> 00:06:19,444
Yeah, that dim light
is a bitch, ain't it?

186
00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:20,545
Okay, guys, you know what?

187
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,613
I didn't interrupt

188
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,448
when you were having
your presentation.

189
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:24,750
Actually, you did.

190
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:27,119
Yes.

191
00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:28,920
Okay, let's do another one.

192
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,122
This is a good one.

193
00:06:30,124 --> 00:06:32,958
"A particular concern
for office workers

194
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,093
"is a sedimentary lifestyle,

195
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,294
which can contribute..."

196
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:37,963
Sedentary.

197
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:42,300
Yes, "which can contribute
to heart disease."

198
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:45,437
Heart disease kills
more people than bailers.

199
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,272
That's called having
a fat butt, Michael.

200
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:48,974
Mmm, no, no, it's...

201
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:51,309
Yeah, yeah.
That's fat butt disease.

202
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:52,444
That's what you're
suffering from?

203
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:53,812
No. Fat butt disease, Michael?

204
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,080
No, I...

205
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:56,748
Excuse me, Sea Monster,
you weigh, like, 1,000 pounds.

206
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,016
Yeah, I bet you'd like to swim

207
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,484
with this sea monster,
wouldn't you?

208
00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:01,019
Ryan!

209
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,587
Dude, please,
tell your girl to shut up.

210
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,656
What? Kelly, you
insulted the gentleman.

211
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:05,690
Please, apologize.

212
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:06,691
Are you kidding me?

213
00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:07,893
All right, we out of here.

214
00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:10,061
Darryl, I did not walk out
in the middle of yours.

215
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,096
So I...

216
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,564
Yeah, but ours
was real, Michael.

217
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,332
- Yes.
- That's what we been trying to tell you, Mike.

218
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,067
It's serious down there.

219
00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:17,269
We do dangerous stuff, man.

220
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:19,671
This is shenanigans,
foolishness.

221
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:21,406
NERF ball.

222
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:24,843
You live a sweet little
NERF-y life.

223
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,711
Sittin' on your biscuit.

224
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:28,613
Never havin' to risk it.

225
00:07:30,683 --> 00:07:32,651
Okay...

226
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:38,423
What, NERF isn't cool anymore?

227
00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:40,258
Darryl thinks he's such a man

228
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:42,127
because he works in a warehouse.

229
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,695
Well, big deal.

230
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:46,865
I worked in a warehouse...
Men's Wearhouse.

231
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:49,000
I was a greeter.

232
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:50,368
I'd like to see Darryl
greet people.

233
00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:52,604
Probably make 'em
feel like wimps.

234
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,372
Not me.
I...

235
00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:59,878
Hello, I'm Michael.
Welcome to Men's Wearhouse.

236
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,047
We have a special
on khaki pants today.

237
00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:06,852
This is one example.

238
00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:08,887
Ten.

239
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:11,189
Really, ten?
That's your guess?

240
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,691
You're a professional
accountant.

241
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,359
There's, like, ten green ones.

242
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:15,393
42.

243
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:16,428
I'm gonna say 50.

244
00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:17,696
51.

245
00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:19,130
- Oh, don't be that person.
- Come on, that is lame.

246
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:20,131
It's a strategy.

247
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,132
It's called being smart.

248
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,167
- Thank you.
- Oh, jeez.

249
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,571
I don't know how the whole
betting thing started,

250
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:28,073
but it's fun.

251
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:29,140
- Ten.
- Kev's out.

252
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,141
Damn it!

253
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,810
47, 48, 49!

254
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:32,811
Jim wins!

255
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:33,845
Oh!

256
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:34,913
That is not fair.

257
00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,114
He has spent hours up here

258
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,516
at reception with you.

259
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:40,051
Hours and hours.

260
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,386
Okay... okay.

261
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,054
No, constantly...
like, for years.

262
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:44,322
Okay.

263
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:46,558
Pam, depression is as scary
as a bailer, right?

264
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,927
I... don't understand
the question.

265
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:51,463
"Working in a office
can lead to depression"

266
00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:53,231
"which can lead
to suicide."

267
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:57,235
I mean this
is really serious stuff.

268
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:58,236
Yeah.

269
00:08:58,238 --> 00:08:59,237
I... I...

270
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:00,305
Nobody commits suicide

271
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:02,107
because they work with a bailer.

272
00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:04,142
And yet those guys
are making fun of me.

273
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,411
Calling me a NERF.
That...

274
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,880
It's really hard
to demonstrate depression.

275
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,316
Their safety training
had visuals.

276
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:14,586
Yeah... you are...

277
00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:16,922
Ah, so right.

278
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:18,323
They have visual aids.

279
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:21,159
And all we had were the facts.

280
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,661
You don't go
to the science museum

281
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:26,331
and get handed a pamphlet
on electricity.

282
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:27,832
You go to the science museum

283
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:30,502
and you put your hand
on a metal ball.

284
00:09:30,504 --> 00:09:32,304
Your hair sticks up straight.

285
00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:34,105
And you know science.

286
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:35,607
So you're okay?

287
00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,542
Indubitably.

288
00:09:39,011 --> 00:09:40,478
They use props.

289
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:41,980
They use visual aids.

290
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:45,083
And they just made us
look like dopes.

291
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,484
Idiots!

292
00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:48,386
God, what are we gonna do!

293
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:49,554
I don't know.
I don't know.

294
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,723
Because you know what
our killer is?

295
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:54,359
Depression.
Wolves.

296
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:55,393
Depression.

297
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:56,461
Visual aids.

298
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,129
Yes.

299
00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,998
A quilt...
depression quilt?

300
00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:04,035
No time to sew a quilt.

301
00:10:05,037 --> 00:10:06,705
I got it.

302
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:07,706
Give me the number

303
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,274
for the Giant Big Box toy store.

304
00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:15,447
You may be asking yourself,

305
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,549
"What am I doing
on a trampoline?"

306
00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:20,318
Well, I thought I'd bounce here
for a while,

307
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,221
relieve some stress,
and then move on with my day.

308
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:24,556
Not!

309
00:10:24,558 --> 00:10:25,757
Here's the plan.

310
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:27,859
Dwight is going to gather

311
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:30,729
all of the office workers
and all of the warehouse guys

312
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:33,031
and we're going to have
another safety seminar.

313
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,933
Only this time, where's Michael?

314
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:35,934
Oh, my God!

315
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:37,535
He is on the roof!

316
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:39,270
Now I've got their attention.

317
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,006
I tell them about

318
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:43,808
the cold hard facts
of depression.

319
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:44,843
And then I say,

320
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:48,213
"Hey, you ever seen
a suicide?"

321
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,948
And I jump.

322
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,349
And they freak out.

323
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:54,152
And they get to see
the dangers of depression

324
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,787
with their own eyes.

325
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:58,056
Nice side note...
they might think,

326
00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,958
hey, I should've been nicer
to Michael.

327
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,394
But that's not why
I'm doing this.

328
00:11:02,396 --> 00:11:03,561
Then I land on the trampoline,

329
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,463
take a couple extra bounces
for fun.

330
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,098
I climb off,
walk around the corner.

331
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,667
Ta-freakin'-da!

332
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:11,703
So then the next movie
moves to the top of the queue.

333
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:12,971
So number five becomes
number four.

334
00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:14,305
Number six becomes number five.

335
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:15,573
Number three becomes number two.

336
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:16,808
Etcetera, etcetera.

337
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:17,909
And let's just say

338
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,411
that I just sent back
Love Actually,

339
00:11:19,413 --> 00:11:20,412
which was awesome.

340
00:11:20,414 --> 00:11:21,579
And they sent me Uptown Girls,

341
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:22,947
which is also awesome.

342
00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:24,215
But guess what?

343
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,750
Now I want to see
Love Actually again.

344
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:26,851
But it's at the bottom
of the queue.

345
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,086
Oh no!
What do I do?

346
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,854
What I do is this:

347
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,690
I go online,
I go "click, click, click,"

348
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,458
and I change the order
of the queue

349
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:35,593
so that I can see Love Actually
as soon as I want to.

350
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:37,862
It's so easy, Ryan.

351
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:40,465
Do you really not know
how Netflix works?

352
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:42,567
I guess I forgot.

353
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,370
You're such a ditz.

354
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,708
Ryan, well done.
2 minutes, 42 seconds.

355
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:51,276
Additionally, Pam, you win ten

356
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,078
because she said "awesome"
12 times.

357
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,113
And Jim, you win five

358
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:57,582
because she mentioned
six romantic comedies.

359
00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:59,551
Okay, let's do this thing!

360
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:00,752
I'll go summon the troops.

361
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,620
Maybe we should test this first,

362
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,322
Letterman-style.

363
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,457
Throw a TV over.

364
00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:08,293
We measured it once.

365
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,229
Go buy some watermelons.

366
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,198
Seedless?

367
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,966
Just...

368
00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:23,007
Creed is eating an apple.

369
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:24,642
I found a potato.

370
00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:27,412
Hey, Creed.

371
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,813
Hey!

372
00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:30,882
- Hi.
- Hello.

373
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,656
Yes!

374
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:39,891
Here you go.

375
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:40,959
Nice.

376
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:43,995
I don't know this place

377
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:45,163
as well as I thought I did.

378
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,899
I'm getting cleaned out.

379
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:49,000
- Ready?
- Let's do it.

380
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,068
Drop that sucker.

381
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:52,904
Yeah, bingo!

382
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,405
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

383
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:56,040
Oh, crap!

384
00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:00,044
Deactivate the car alarm,
clean up the mess.

385
00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:01,112
Okay.

386
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,147
Find out whose car that is.

387
00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:03,214
If it's Stanley's,

388
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,016
call the offices
of James P. Albini.

389
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,151
See if he handles hate crimes.

390
00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:07,152
Got it.

391
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:08,153
Also, take apart the trampoline,

392
00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:09,154
stick it in the bailer.

393
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:10,556
We're not allowed
to use the bailer.

394
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:12,190
Have Patch do it...

395
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:13,324
or the sea monster.

396
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,893
I'm on it!

397
00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:16,394
Eh...

398
00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:20,532
I'm temporarily lifting
the shun.

399
00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:21,599
Thank you.

400
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:22,600
It means nothing.

401
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:23,768
I need you to do something
for me.

402
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:24,936
Anything.

403
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,137
Okay, calm down.

404
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,505
I need you to acquire

405
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,575
an inflatable house
and/or castle.

406
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:31,876
You mean a moon bounce?

407
00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:33,411
What do you think?
You've got an hour.

408
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:35,180
I'm gonna need petty cash.

409
00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:36,614
Shunning resumed.

410
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:39,684
Do you... do you want
a drawbridge?

411
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:40,952
Un-shun.

412
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:44,289
Yeah, that sounds good.
Re-shun.

413
00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:48,293
Oh, yeah, this is much better.

414
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:49,961
Safer.

415
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,362
An excellent decision.

416
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:53,364
Yes.
Thank you for seeing that.

417
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:54,465
When you land,

418
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,067
try and land
like an eight-year-old.

419
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,036
These bouncy castles
are not designed for adults.

420
00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,437
I don't know
if I want to do this.

421
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:00,471
Do you want to do another test?

422
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:01,706
I got plenty of watermelons
in my trunk.

423
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:03,308
No.

424
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:04,909
No more;
the tests are going terrible.

425
00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:06,871
If we keep doing them,
I'm not gonna want to jump.

426
00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:10,615
This is about doing,
not thinking.

427
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:11,616
Right, doing!

428
00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:13,818
Totally doing!
It's rock and roll!

429
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:14,986
Rock and roll!
Yeah!

430
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,221
You're right;
I'm not thinking.

431
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:19,224
Yes, yeah!

432
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:29,868
I am ready to do this!

433
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:33,271
I'm ready to make a point!

434
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:34,739
Hey, guys, listen up.

435
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,741
Michael is up on the roof

436
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,343
and acting strange.

437
00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,745
Whoa, what's the situation?

438
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:42,680
Un-shun.

439
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,916
I think he's suffering
from depression.

440
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,117
Re-shun.

441
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,652
Okay, when's the shunning thing
gonna end?

442
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,921
Un-shun... never!
Re-shun.

443
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:51,222
I think he wants you all

444
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,590
to come out to the parking lot

445
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:53,758
and watch him die.

446
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,627
Is it nice outside?

447
00:14:55,629 --> 00:14:56,928
It's gorgeous.
Let's go!

448
00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:57,962
Do I need my jacket?

449
00:14:57,964 --> 00:14:59,397
No, really, it's very nice.

450
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,498
Come on!

451
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,966
Will I be too warm
in a long sleeve T?

452
00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:03,968
Everyone's gonna be fine
in exactly what they're wearing!

453
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:05,203
Let's go!

454
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,173
Let's go!

455
00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:15,113
Come on, hurry up, you guys!

456
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,381
My life!

457
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:19,150
Oh, my life...

458
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:21,486
Michael, what's wrong?

459
00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:23,187
Everything's wrong.

460
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:25,723
The stress of my modern office

461
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:28,459
has caused me to go
into a depression.

462
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:30,495
Depression?

463
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:33,865
Isn't that just a fancy word
for feeling bummed out?

464
00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:35,366
Dwight, you ignorant slut.

465
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:38,703
Depression is
a very serious illness.

466
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:43,875
Over 32,000 people
commit suicide every year,

467
00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:46,344
according to a 2004 study.

468
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,179
Is that the last year to date
it was available?

469
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:49,180
Yes.

470
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:53,284
My head is in such pain
and turmoil!

471
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,186
Don't do anything rash.

472
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:56,955
Dwight, where are
the warehouse guys?

473
00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:59,057
I didn't...

474
00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:04,028
I didn't think you need them
for this part.

475
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:06,097
Okay... that's...

476
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,899
- You said to just...
- That's the whole point, dummy.

477
00:16:07,901 --> 00:16:09,534
Okay, I'm on it.

478
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:10,735
Okay.

479
00:16:12,237 --> 00:16:13,805
Attention blue collar workers!

480
00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:17,208
What are the odds that this

481
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:18,576
is in any way real?

482
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:21,546
I'd say, like, 10,000 to 1.

483
00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:24,682
Okay, I'd like ten bucks
on those odds.

484
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:28,686
If someone gives you
10,000 to 1 on anything,

485
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,455
you take it.

486
00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:33,758
If John Mellencamp
ever wins an Oscar,

487
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:37,795
I am going to be
a very rich dude.

488
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,465
Michael's up on the roof

489
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,667
and he's acting strange!

490
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,635
Oh, my life!

491
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:46,170
Michael, what's wrong?

492
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,339
Everything's wrong, Dwight!

493
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,708
The stress of my modern office

494
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,310
has made me depressed.

495
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:53,344
Depressed?

496
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,645
Isn't that just a fancy word

497
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,314
for feeling bummed out?

498
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,815
Dwight, you ignorant slut.

499
00:16:57,817 --> 00:16:59,083
Well, you know,

500
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,651
the first performance
was a little off.

501
00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:02,387
But I really think
they hit their stride

502
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:03,855
in the second show.

503
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:05,456
Um...

504
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,759
Might even bring my parents
tomorrow to the matinee.

505
00:17:07,761 --> 00:17:09,394
And that is why...

506
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,462
Oh, excuse me.
It's my favorite part.

507
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:12,563
I am going to jump off
this roof.

508
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,165
This is just offensive.

509
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:15,533
At least we're outside.

510
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,534
Hey, check it out.

511
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,036
There's a castle over there.

512
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:21,072
Oh, my God.
There is a castle.

513
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:23,941
No, there's nothing to see
over there, people.

514
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:25,576
There's nothing to see.

515
00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:28,513
They found the castle, Michael.

516
00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:30,281
Damn it.

517
00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:34,285
Oh, God.

518
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:35,420
Oh, my God!

519
00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:36,687
He's gonna jump.

520
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,390
Oh.

521
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,692
He's going to kill himself

522
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:42,894
pretending to kill himself.

523
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,495
Yeah.

524
00:17:46,865 --> 00:17:49,367
Hey, uh, Michael.

525
00:17:50,669 --> 00:17:53,204
Don't jump on the bouncy castle.

526
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,239
You can't do that

527
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,842
'cause you are going to get
horribly, horribly injured.

528
00:17:57,844 --> 00:18:00,478
Hey, Michael.

529
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,346
I have a present for you

530
00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:03,981
but you have to come down
and get it.

531
00:18:05,517 --> 00:18:06,684
What is it?

532
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:09,153
Come down and open it
and you'll see.

533
00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:10,888
Dwight, find out
what the present is.

534
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:13,424
Okay, uh...
I don't see anything.

535
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,759
She might be bluffing.

536
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:15,760
Dwight.

537
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,495
What are you...

538
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,330
Oh.

539
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:21,432
It's, uh...

540
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:26,270
A Repliee Q1 Expo female robot.

541
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,905
They're only available in Japan.

542
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:29,507
Dwight, you are such a liar.

543
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:30,875
Pam, really, what is it?

544
00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:33,711
Mike, this is the opposite
of safety.

545
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:35,446
You jump, you're gonna
seriously hurt yourself.

546
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:38,916
You told me that I lead a...

547
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:42,753
a cushy, wimpy, NERF life.

548
00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:46,657
Yeah, but I never said
you had nothing to live for.

549
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:48,326
What do I have to live for?

550
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:50,795
A lot... of things.

551
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:55,633
Uh, you, uh...

552
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:02,907
What about Jan?

553
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:06,477
Lovely, lovely, lovely Jan, man.

554
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,513
It's going good, right?

555
00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:11,716
It's complicated with Jan.

556
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,317
And I don't know where I stand

557
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:15,353
or what I want.

558
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:17,922
The sex isn't nearly as good
as it used to be.

559
00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:20,057
Mike...

560
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,359
you're a very brave man.

561
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:24,962
I mean, it takes courage
just to be you.

562
00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:28,166
To get out of bed
every single day

563
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:31,569
knowing full well
you gotta be you.

564
00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:33,971
Do you really mean that?

565
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:35,706
I couldn't do it.

566
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:38,309
I ain't that strong
and I ain't that brave.

567
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:39,443
I'm braver than you?

568
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:41,546
Way braver!

569
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:43,080
You Braveheart, man.

570
00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:48,252
I Braveheart.

571
00:19:49,721 --> 00:19:51,622
I am.

572
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:52,957
Come on down, okay?

573
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:55,493
Okay.

574
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,929
Pam, I'm coming down
to get my present.

575
00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:03,334
An office is as safe
as the people in it.

576
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:05,169
And sometimes those people

577
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:07,572
can drive you to do crazy things

578
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:11,609
to show the dangers
of the office.

579
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:15,012
That's the danger
I found myself in today.

580
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:19,317
I saved a life... my own.

581
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:21,152
Am I a hero?

582
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,190
I really can't say.

583
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:27,758
But, yes.

583
00:20:28,305 --> 00:21:28,360
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