1
00:00:00,934 --> 00:00:02,001
Hey.

2
00:00:06,272 --> 00:00:08,374
Oh, what's this?

3
00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:09,942
That is a demerit.

4
00:00:09,944 --> 00:00:12,311
"Jim Halpert, tardiness."

5
00:00:12,313 --> 00:00:14,013
Ugh.

6
00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,848
- I love it already.
- You've gotta learn, Jim.

7
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:16,949
You are second in command,

8
00:00:16,951 --> 00:00:18,517
but that does not put you
above the law.

9
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:19,785
Oh, I understand.

10
00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:21,887
And I also have
lots of questions, like,

11
00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:23,689
what does a demerit mean?

12
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,324
Let's put it this way.

13
00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:27,459
You do not want to receive
three of those.

14
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:28,627
Lay it on me.

15
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:30,362
Three demerits
and you'll receive a citation.

16
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:32,064
Now that sounds serious.

17
00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:33,132
Oh, it is serious.

18
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:34,466
Five citations

19
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:35,667
and you're looking
at a violation.

20
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:37,036
Four of those

21
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,570
and you'll receive
a verbal warning.

22
00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:40,672
Keep it up, and you're looking
at a written warning.

23
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,374
Two of those,

24
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,243
that'll land you
in a world of hurt...

25
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,545
in the form
of a disciplinary review

26
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:47,813
written up by me

27
00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:50,049
and placed on the desk
of my immediate superior.

28
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:51,350
Which would be me.

29
00:00:51,352 --> 00:00:53,419
That is correct.

30
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:55,454
Okay, I want a copy on my desk

31
00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:57,856
by the end of the day
or you will receive

32
00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,358
a full disadulation.

33
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,427
What's a dis...

34
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:02,561
what's that?

35
00:01:04,497 --> 00:01:05,998
Oh, you don't want to know.

36
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:13,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

37
00:01:47,907 --> 00:01:49,074
Hey, Phyllis.

38
00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:50,275
You all right?

39
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:53,512
I think I just got flashed.

40
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:54,880
What?

41
00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:56,014
Really?

42
00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:58,016
In the parking lot.

43
00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:00,352
Oh, my God.

44
00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:02,788
Move!

45
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,456
Okay, I'll call the real police.

46
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,591
What happened?

47
00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:06,959
What can I do to help?

48
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:11,864
I'll check the web.

49
00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:13,699
Thank you.

50
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:16,101
The police are on it.

51
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:18,003
They say they've already had
three calls.

52
00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:21,206
Can you tell us what happened?

53
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:22,741
Um...

54
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,276
I was walking to the building

55
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,612
and this man
asked me for directions.

56
00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:29,448
And he was holding a map.

57
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:31,750
And when I walked over,

58
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:34,753
he had it out...

59
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,588
on the map.

60
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,891
Phyllis.
You're a married woman.

61
00:02:38,893 --> 00:02:40,092
The guy was just

62
00:02:40,094 --> 00:02:41,293
hanging brain.

63
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:42,728
I mean, what's all the fuss?

64
00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:45,998
If that's flashing,
then lock me up.

65
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,566
It's just, like, so creepy.

66
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,569
What's happening?

67
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:52,638
Oh, some guy exposed himself

68
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,139
to Phyllis in the parking lot.

69
00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:55,874
Really?

70
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:56,975
Is she okay?

71
00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,510
Yeah, Bob Vance
took her for a walk

72
00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,711
to calm down.

73
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:01,680
Okay.

74
00:03:04,118 --> 00:03:05,217
Phyllis, you say?

75
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:08,321
Hmm.

76
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,223
What is so funny?

77
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:14,226
Um... I mean,
did he even see Pam?

78
00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:15,627
Or, uh...

79
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:16,995
Karen from behind?

80
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:19,097
I'm guessing not.

81
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,436
I'm sorry.

82
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,342
It's pretty funny
when you think about it.

83
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:31,910
Mm... not really, no.

84
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,545
It's disgusting and demeaning.

85
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:34,880
Oh, okay.

86
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:37,649
Masters of comedy.
A guy dropped his pants.

87
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,484
Have you ever been
to the circus?

88
00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:42,287
Okay.

89
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,261
He's back!

90
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:53,232
Okay. Hmm.

91
00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:56,101
Waagh!

92
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:57,669
Hey, what's going on?

93
00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,171
There's a police car in the...

94
00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:00,239
What? Oh.

95
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:04,209
What's going on?

96
00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:05,777
Oh, Phyllis got flashed.

97
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,045
It's, uh...

98
00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:10,582
I don't think
laughing about it's

99
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:11,984
appropriate response.

100
00:04:11,986 --> 00:04:13,619
Oh, come on...
we are laughing at Phyllis,

101
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:15,821
but she's not even here,
so no harm, no foul.

102
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:17,422
I don't think the women
in this office...

103
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,258
Incidentally, where were you
during all of this?

104
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:20,392
Maybe you're the flasher.

105
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,261
I was at
a parent-teacher conference.

106
00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:23,528
Uh-huh.

107
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,264
Prove it.
Let's see your penis.

108
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,036
I...

109
00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:32,404
you know,

110
00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:35,240
as that was coming
out of my mouth,

111
00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:37,809
I knew that it was wrong.

112
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,814
In all the excitement,

113
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:46,184
I forgot that my primary goal

114
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:49,588
is to keep people safe.

115
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:52,524
Women can't have fun

116
00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:54,192
if they don't feel safe.

117
00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:57,629
For example,
Jan and I have a safe word

118
00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,998
in case things go too far.

119
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,600
Foliage.

120
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:04,569
And if one of us says that word,

121
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:06,571
the other one has to stop.

122
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:12,577
Although last time...

123
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:15,414
she pretended
she didn't hear me.

124
00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:17,816
Michael, come over
after work tonight, okay?

125
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,117
I miss your body.

126
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:21,153
I don't know.

127
00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:22,554
I feel...

128
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,122
I drive a lot.

129
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:26,491
I'm spending a fortune
on gas and tolls...

130
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,492
I'll give you $200.

131
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:28,827
And if I get up before you,

132
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,329
I'll leave it on the dresser.

133
00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:32,431
Um, that...
I don't know.

134
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:33,665
That makes me
kind of uncomfortable.

135
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,033
$300?

136
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:37,336
I... uh, well,
I don't know.

137
00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:38,804
Whatever.

138
00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:40,305
Just let my assistant know
if you're coming over

139
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:41,606
so he can get more vodka, okay?

140
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:42,874
Hunter, are you on?

141
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,643
You got it, Jan.

142
00:05:47,246 --> 00:05:49,948
Employees of this office
are very small and delicate.

143
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:52,984
Deserve protection
from local pervs.

144
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:55,053
Better 1,000 innocent men
are locked up

145
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:57,255
than one guilty man roam free.

146
00:05:58,425 --> 00:05:59,958
I am sick over this thing.

147
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,094
Those people out there
are clearly afraid.

148
00:06:02,096 --> 00:06:03,628
And that can't happen.

149
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:05,230
Not in my house.
Agreed.

150
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:07,065
Let me show you
what I've been working on.

151
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,100
Okay.

152
00:06:08,102 --> 00:06:10,235
There are several penises there

153
00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:11,570
I'd love Phyllis
to run her eyes over.

154
00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:13,205
See if we can catch
this pervert.

155
00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:15,073
This is the last thing

156
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,075
that Phyllis needs
to see right now, Dwight.

157
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,143
Look at that one.

158
00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:22,147
Dwight, are those your pants?

159
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:24,149
That's a Polaroid.

160
00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:27,986
Attention, everybody.

161
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:29,654
Dwight has something
he would like to say.

162
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:32,657
Due to a recent incident
involving Phyllis,

163
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:34,126
a man,

164
00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:35,994
a map, and his penis...

165
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:37,396
I think you know
what I'm referring to...

166
00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:41,133
Michael has authorized me
to form

167
00:06:41,135 --> 00:06:43,268
an emergency
anti-flashing task force.

168
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:44,836
Question.

169
00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:47,639
Won't that interfere
with your other task forces?

170
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:50,475
Answer: no, because this
is being given priority one.

171
00:06:50,477 --> 00:06:52,144
This is a petition

172
00:06:52,146 --> 00:06:54,679
for the business park to upgrade
their security cameras

173
00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:57,015
as well as install
two floodlights

174
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,417
in the parking lot.

175
00:06:58,419 --> 00:07:00,252
And I know...
I know what you're thinking.

176
00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:02,554
Won't that just shed more light

177
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:03,755
on the penises?

178
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,358
But that is a risk
we have to take.

179
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:07,959
Pam.
You can draw, kind of.

180
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,327
Why don't you work with Phallus

181
00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:10,362
on drawing a picture

182
00:07:10,364 --> 00:07:11,463
of the exposer

183
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:12,664
that I can post
around the community?

184
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:13,832
Phallus?

185
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:14,966
Phyllis, sorry.

186
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,668
I've got penises on the brain.

187
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:18,437
Back to work, everybody.

188
00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:27,245
I don't often miss Roy.

189
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,247
But I can tell you one thing.

190
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:32,184
I wish someone had flashed me
when I was with Roy.

191
00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:34,686
Because that would have been
the ass-kicking of the year.

192
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:39,291
Especially if it had been Jim.

193
00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:41,893
He would not have wanted me
to have seen Jim's...

194
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:44,996
Whoo, I am...

195
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,865
I am saying a lot of things.

196
00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:51,770
I didn't really get a good look.

197
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:53,205
That's okay.

198
00:07:53,207 --> 00:07:54,806
I don't feel
like answering phones.

199
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,142
Hey, did you guys see this memo
that Dwight sent out?

200
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,978
"Women will be sent home

201
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,714
"if they wear makeup or heels
exceeding 1/4 inch.

202
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,050
"Females are not allowed
to speak to strangers

203
00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:06,985
"unless given written
authorization

204
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,420
by Dwight Schrute."

205
00:08:08,422 --> 00:08:09,821
- This is ridiculous.
- Attention.

206
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,390
I am removing all bananas
from the kitchen.

207
00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:16,194
Dwight, this memo
that you distributed

208
00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:18,330
is insulting.

209
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:19,998
Desperate times
call for desperate measures.

210
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,500
"Sleeves down to the wrists,

211
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:23,802
buttoned-up collars,
and muted colors."

212
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,270
Nobody dresses like that.

213
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:27,506
Okay, you know something,
Dwight?

214
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:28,907
We are not the terrorists.

215
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,809
Why don't you just
take these women,

216
00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:33,445
put 'em in a burlap sack,
and hit 'em with a stick?

217
00:08:33,447 --> 00:08:34,846
Because that's
what you're doing.

218
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,581
I celebrate these women.

219
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:40,151
They deserve the right
to dress as they please.

220
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:41,653
If Pam wants
to show more cleavage,

221
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:42,888
she should be able to.

222
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,422
I encourage that.

223
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:45,724
Look, it's really simple.

224
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:48,426
We just want you guys
to treat us with respect.

225
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:50,161
See? That's what
we're talking about.

226
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:51,396
Did you hear that, Dwight?

227
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:52,664
Yes.

228
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,132
Did you hear that, Michael?

229
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:57,602
No, Dwight. Respect.
R-E-S-P... svee... T.

230
00:08:57,604 --> 00:09:00,038
Find out what it means to me.

231
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,074
All right, you know what?
That's it.

232
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,543
Conference room, five minutes.

233
00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:05,810
Women's appreciation.

234
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,812
Wait a second, how are you
qualified for that?

235
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,881
Oh, I don't know, James.

236
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,616
Did I come from a woman?

237
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,084
Have I slept with a woman?

238
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:15,120
- More than one?
- Mm, less than three.

239
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:17,255
- That is not current.
- You know what?

240
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:18,990
Why doesn't Oscar
run the meeting?

241
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:20,292
He's a homosexual.

242
00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:22,294
Why don't you run the meeting?
You play with dolls.

243
00:09:22,296 --> 00:09:23,495
Those are collectable
action figures

244
00:09:23,497 --> 00:09:25,263
and they're worth more
than your car.

245
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:26,932
You know what?
I am the expert.

246
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,366
I will conduct it.

247
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:29,935
I know the crap out of women.

248
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,469
I, um...

249
00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:34,372
would like to apologize
for all of the men

250
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:37,108
who thought this
was a laughing matter.

251
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,376
Are we still discussing this?

252
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,879
I say again,
what is the big deal?

253
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,948
Nobody likes to be flashed.

254
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:45,784
When Meredith flashed me
at that Christmas party,

255
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:46,918
I nearly vomited.

256
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,453
I don't remember doing that.

257
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:49,988
What a surprise.

258
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,356
Okay, no catfights.
Please. Let's...

259
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:53,592
my point is...

260
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:56,995
my point is...

261
00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:58,363
a penis,

262
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,198
when seen

263
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,666
in the right context,

264
00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:05,203
is the most wonderful sight
for a woman.

265
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,271
But in the wrong context,

266
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,472
it is like a monster movie.

267
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:09,441
Alien.
Blagh!

268
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,009
Whether... shut it.
Shut. Up.

269
00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:12,711
Okay, so what I want

270
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:16,314
to engage us in today
is a hardcore discussion

271
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:20,085
about women's problems
and issues

272
00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:21,686
and situations.

273
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:23,488
Magazines and TV shows

274
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:26,257
and movies portray women

275
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:29,461
as skinny, tall goddesses.

276
00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:31,830
Well, look around.

277
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,698
Are women like that?

278
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:35,433
No.

279
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:38,470
No, they are not.

280
00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:39,871
Even the hot ones

281
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:42,874
aren't really that skinny.

282
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,609
So what does that say?

283
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,778
That says that you women

284
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,780
are up against it.

285
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:49,914
And it is criminal.

286
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:51,650
Society doesn't care.

287
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:53,251
Society sucks.

288
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,987
I don't even consider myself
a part of society.

289
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,322
FYI.

290
00:10:57,324 --> 00:11:00,725
Because I am so angry
over all of this.

291
00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:02,394
If it were up to me,

292
00:11:02,396 --> 00:11:05,897
you ladies
would be the fashion models.

293
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,265
Yes, Andy.

294
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:09,234
Then the fashion models
could come here

295
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:10,335
and work with me.

296
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,436
What you're saying

297
00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:12,837
is extremely misogynistic.

298
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:15,540
Yes.
Thank you.

299
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:17,375
That was not necessary,

300
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:18,943
but I appreciated it.

301
00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:20,111
And it proves my point.

302
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,780
Women can do anything.

303
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:24,082
I'm saying
that you're being sexist.

304
00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:26,551
No, I'm being misogynistic.

305
00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:29,120
That is insane.
I am not being sexist.

306
00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:30,455
That...
it's the same thing.

307
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:31,623
Michael.
Yes.

308
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:32,857
When I got my hair cut short,

309
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,793
you asked me if I was a lesbian.

310
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,361
Because wha...

311
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,063
that was one
possible explanation

312
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:40,632
as to why you got that haircut.

313
00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:42,434
And when we get mad,
you always ask us

314
00:11:42,436 --> 00:11:44,169
if we're on our periods.

315
00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:46,204
I have to know
whether you're serious or not.

316
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,840
I wish I could menstruate.

317
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,642
If I could menstruate,
I wouldn't have to deal

318
00:11:50,644 --> 00:11:52,243
with idiotic calendars anymore.

319
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:55,313
I'd just be able to count down
from my previous cycle.

320
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:58,183
Plus, I'd be more in tune
with the moon and the tides.

321
00:11:58,185 --> 00:11:59,818
Can we just get back to work?

322
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,052
Ye... okay, yes.

323
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,687
- This is not work talk.
- You're right.

324
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:04,322
You're right, you're right.
And you know why?

325
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,590
It's because

326
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:06,691
of where we are.

327
00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:08,893
This is a masculine environment.

328
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:12,163
We need to find a place
where you feel comfortable.

329
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:15,166
You know where we're gonna go?

330
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:16,367
The Steamtown Mall.

331
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,804
Frankly, it's kind of insulting.

332
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:22,807
But I have a bunch of stuff
I need to return in my car.

333
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:25,777
So... I could do that.

334
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:28,213
Malls are just awful
and humiliating.

335
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:30,181
They're just store after store

336
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,350
of these horrible salespeople
making a big fuss

337
00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:34,753
out of an adult shopping
in a junior's section.

338
00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:39,724
There are petite adults
who are sort of... smaller

339
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:41,292
who need to wear...

340
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,762
maybe a kids' size 10.

341
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:45,897
Okay, let's go,

342
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,432
ladies of Dunder-Mifflin.

343
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,001
Hey, we should have
a calendar printed up.

344
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:52,303
Pam, put that
in my good idea folder.

345
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,038
Let's go!

346
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,807
Have you finished
with the sketch?

347
00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:57,776
Yeah.

348
00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,410
Hmm, doesn't seem like the type.

349
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:01,045
Uh, Phyllis got a good look.

350
00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:02,514
Hmm.

351
00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:09,254
I plan on plastering
this pervert's face everywhere.

352
00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:12,323
You can run,
but you cannot hide.

353
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:15,360
Oh.

354
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:16,828
Meredith, slow down!

355
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,963
We're not gonna get there
any faster if we're dead.

356
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,899
Thanks.
I know how to drive.

357
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:27,405
Oh, yeah.

358
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:28,973
You really shouldn't litter.

359
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:32,076
My car, my rules.

360
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:38,383
Hey, Jim.

361
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:40,485
You wanna go
in the women's bathroom?

362
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:41,719
No.

363
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:42,887
Thank you, though.

364
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:44,522
You aren't curious?

365
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:45,690
Not really.

366
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:47,058
I've seen a bathroom before.

367
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:48,459
Yeah, but...

368
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:51,029
it's every guy's fantasy.

369
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:53,431
I think you mean
a girl's locker room.

370
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,867
And in the fantasy,
there's usually girls in it.

371
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:58,036
Yeah.

372
00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,771
I'm going in.

373
00:13:59,773 --> 00:14:01,539
Go crazy.

374
00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:09,047
Oh... my... God.

375
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,115
I really appreciate
your letting me work

376
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:12,217
alongside you so closely today.

377
00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:13,718
Of course you do, moon face.

378
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,153
That's because
you're a preppy freak,

379
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:17,055
you're the office pariah,
and nobody likes you.

380
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:19,757
So start hanging these
all around the building.

381
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:27,165
This guy looks like
a real deviant.

382
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,200
No, duh.
That's why we gotta catch him.

383
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,235
Start hanging those.

384
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:31,636
Aye, aye, Cap'n.

385
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,905
More like,
"Aye, aye, General."

386
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:37,108
I don't think
she's gonna make it.

387
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:38,743
Don't think
she's gonna make it...

388
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:43,681
It's a little too tight.

389
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:45,984
I'm gonna find another spot.

390
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,486
Many women
are competent drivers.

391
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,300
This is what we know.

392
00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:07,305
Well, I stand corrected.

393
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:08,473
This is pretty cool.

394
00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:09,807
Yes.

395
00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:11,075
Hey, uh...

396
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,211
where'd you decide
to take Karen tonight?

397
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:14,479
Anna Maria's.

398
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:15,580
What's the occasion?

399
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:16,681
Six-month anniversary.

400
00:15:19,184 --> 00:15:20,985
What?

401
00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:22,820
Nothing... I think, uh,
we all kinda thought

402
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:24,255
you guys were just,
like, hooking up.

403
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:27,759
No, we've been dating
for six months.

404
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:32,597
Uh, she might mention
an email that I wrote

405
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:33,598
a while back, um...

406
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,699
Oh, right.

407
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,234
I remember that one.
She read it to me.

408
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:38,202
She said...

409
00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:40,271
she's not really ready
to date somebody in the office,

410
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,106
but she really likes you
as a friend.

411
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,142
I figured.

412
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,310
It's cool.

413
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:46,477
I don't...
I wouldn't want to be

414
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:48,313
in an office relationship
anyway.

415
00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:52,583
All right.

416
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,719
Hope nobody's on a diet.

417
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:56,521
- Thanks, Michael.
- You're welcome.

418
00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,389
You're welcome, you're welcome.

419
00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:01,526
Okay.

420
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:03,161
So, let's dish.

421
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:05,196
What do you want to dish about?

422
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,565
Anything you guys want.
This is your time.

423
00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:23,982
Mm.
What is a Pap smear?

424
00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:25,717
Or is it "shmear?"

425
00:16:25,719 --> 00:16:27,151
Like the cream cheese.

426
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:29,053
Okay.
New topic.

427
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:31,322
Kelly, how are things with Ryan?

428
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,523
Awesome.

429
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,258
Um, awful, I mean.

430
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,561
But, uh, sometimes awesome.

431
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:38,529
What, um...

432
00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:40,298
what do you think
of role-play?

433
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,599
Oh, it can be fun.

434
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:42,834
Yeah?

435
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:46,504
Well, Jan has
this schoolgirl fantasy.

436
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:47,805
It's a pretty common one.

437
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,040
I just...

438
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:51,209
I feel uncomfortable
wearing the dress.

439
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:52,310
Okay.

440
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:55,213
I'm gonna be at the doll store.

441
00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:57,682
Sometimes, the clothes
at GapKids are just too flashy.

442
00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,018
So I'm forced to go
to the American Girl store

443
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:03,988
and order clothes
for large colonial dolls.

444
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:05,690
Michael,
you shouldn't do anything

445
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:06,891
that you're uncomfortable with.

446
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:08,993
Jan says anything
that doesn't scare us

447
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:10,695
is not worth doing.

448
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:11,929
I don't know.

449
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,031
Maybe we're different people.

450
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,132
I like cuddling

451
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:15,500
and spooning

452
00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:17,001
and she likes
videotaping us during sex.

453
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:18,036
Oh, my God.

454
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,972
And then watching it back
right afterward

455
00:17:20,974 --> 00:17:22,707
to improve my form.

456
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,342
That is not healthy behavior.

457
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:25,543
No, it's not that bad.

458
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:28,413
The worst part
is that she shows it

459
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:31,049
to her therapist
and they discuss it.

460
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,383
Michael, you need
to get out of this.

461
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,951
No, she's...

462
00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:35,486
she's fooling around.

463
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,422
It's a woman thing.

464
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:39,690
No, normal women
don't do stuff like that.

465
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:42,226
This is bad.

466
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:51,702
No...

467
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:53,104
No, it's all right.
I'm okay.

468
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:54,172
I'm okay.

469
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:58,843
You guys...

470
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:01,813
what am I gonna do about Jan?

471
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:06,517
Done.

472
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:07,952
Read the pros first.

473
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:10,755
Okay.
Jan is smart.

474
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,790
Uh, successful.

475
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:15,693
Good clothes.
Hot.

476
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,862
Perfect skin.

477
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,163
Nice butt.

478
00:18:19,165 --> 00:18:20,531
She does have very nice clothes.

479
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:23,234
Okay, okay.
Um, cons.

480
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:24,569
Cons.

481
00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:26,871
Wears too much makeup.

482
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:29,407
Breasts: not anything
to write home about.

483
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,142
Insecure about body.

484
00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:32,510
I'm unhappy when I'm with her.

485
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:33,578
Flat-chested.

486
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:34,812
What was the last one?

487
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,981
She's totally flat.
Shrunken chesticles.

488
00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:39,016
No, the one before that.

489
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:41,986
I'm unhappy when I'm with her.

490
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,454
Michael...

491
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,857
you shouldn't be with someone
who doesn't make you happy.

492
00:18:45,859 --> 00:18:47,225
I'm happy sometimes.

493
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:50,428
Um...

494
00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:52,196
when we scrapbook

495
00:18:52,198 --> 00:18:55,099
or right towards the end
of having sex.

496
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:56,534
Look, most relationships

497
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:57,768
have their rough patches.

498
00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:00,138
You just have
to push through it sometimes.

499
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,739
- Yeah, that's smart.
- Maybe.

500
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:04,208
But it sounds like you're just
wrong for each other.

501
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:06,177
That sounds good too.

502
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,548
I don't know who's right.

503
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:12,316
I just don't... I don't know.
I don't know.

504
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:13,718
I bet you know.

505
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:14,752
Don't think, just answer.

506
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,354
What do you want to do
about Jan?

507
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,856
I wanna break up with Jan.

508
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:20,791
Wow.

509
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,827
I wanna break up with Jan.

510
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,930
My mom taught me that.

511
00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:31,736
Wow, I cannot believe
this yogurt has no calories.

512
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:34,405
No one said it has no calories.

513
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:36,607
Oh, hey, guys.

514
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,943
I want to do something nice
for you,

515
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:42,246
because you did something
so nice for me earlier.

516
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:44,415
I want you to go in there.

517
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:47,385
I want you to buy one item
on me as a thank-you.

518
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:49,520
Come on.
Get in here.

519
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,689
Let's face it, most guys
are from the Dark Ages.

520
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:52,990
They're cavemen.

521
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:56,127
And they like a woman
to be showing her cleavage

522
00:19:56,129 --> 00:19:58,362
and to be wearing
8-inch heels,

523
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:03,568
and to be wearing, um,
see-through underpants.

524
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:05,469
But...

525
00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:08,739
for me, a woman looks best

526
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:12,276
when she
is just absolutely naked.

527
00:20:16,915 --> 00:20:19,283
This is so great, huh?

528
00:20:21,653 --> 00:20:23,754
We should do this
much more often.

529
00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:26,457
I-I think we hang out
an appropriate amount of time.

530
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:32,230
What are you doing in here?
This is the women's room.

531
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:33,731
You're in here.

532
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,299
I pay for that privilege.

533
00:20:41,673 --> 00:20:42,974
Okay.

534
00:20:42,976 --> 00:20:44,709
I'm a pretty normal guy.

535
00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:46,143
I do one weird thing.

536
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:47,812
I like to go in the women's room

537
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:48,946
for number two.

538
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,681
I've been caught several times

539
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:52,717
and I have paid dearly.

540
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,853
Mm.

541
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:57,388
You don't want anything?

542
00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:59,090
My treat.

543
00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:01,859
Some panties or...

544
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:03,561
pick a thong or...

545
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:05,229
G-string.

546
00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:06,731
T-back.

547
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:08,099
Get a nice bra.

548
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,734
Padded bra.

549
00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:12,336
See-through,
push-up, lace?

550
00:21:12,338 --> 00:21:13,804
Thigh-high?
Bustier?

551
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,239
Any... it just...

552
00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:17,541
you know what,
I would love to buy you

553
00:21:17,543 --> 00:21:19,277
a fresh set of underwear.

554
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:22,380
Phyllis.

555
00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:23,848
What do you think?
Too much?

556
00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:25,316
Jim's gonna love it.

557
00:21:32,324 --> 00:21:34,325
I'm kind of in-between
boyfriends right now.

558
00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:37,094
So I don't need anything sexy.

559
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:39,063
But I do need
some new hand towels.

560
00:21:39,065 --> 00:21:41,799
I figure I can cut up this robe.

561
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:44,135
Slower.

562
00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:46,003
Slower.

563
00:21:46,005 --> 00:21:47,305
Meredith.

564
00:21:48,941 --> 00:21:50,541
- Slow it up.
- Oh.

565
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:52,343
Oh, no.

566
00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:55,212
It's Jan.

567
00:21:55,214 --> 00:21:56,614
What do I do?

568
00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:58,049
- Answer it.
- Don't answer it.

569
00:22:01,954 --> 00:22:03,421
Okay, it stopped.

570
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:06,157
Crap.

571
00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:07,558
Whoa.

572
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,006
That is pretty cool.

573
00:22:27,779 --> 00:22:29,246
Michael, you know how to, um...

574
00:22:29,248 --> 00:22:31,082
change a wheel, right?

575
00:22:31,084 --> 00:22:33,250
Uh, yeah.

576
00:22:33,252 --> 00:22:36,520
Yep. Um...

577
00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,289
Could somebody
grab me the lever,

578
00:22:38,291 --> 00:22:39,590
and I will...

579
00:22:39,592 --> 00:22:41,492
Here, uh... Meredith?

580
00:22:41,494 --> 00:22:43,094
Why don't you
put your hazards on.

581
00:22:43,096 --> 00:22:45,963
Yeah, get your hazards on
for safety.

582
00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:48,366
Let's see.

583
00:22:50,602 --> 00:22:52,269
There we go!

584
00:22:52,271 --> 00:22:53,871
Good.

585
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,306
Yes, we have the...

586
00:22:55,308 --> 00:22:58,809
all right.

587
00:22:58,811 --> 00:23:00,511
I think I've got it.

588
00:23:04,082 --> 00:23:05,583
Do you have a...
a crescent?

589
00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:06,817
A crescent Allan?

590
00:23:06,819 --> 00:23:09,220
I don't think we really
need that, Michael.

591
00:23:09,222 --> 00:23:10,454
Uh... you know what?

592
00:23:10,456 --> 00:23:12,590
I'm going to...
you take care of that.

593
00:23:12,592 --> 00:23:14,792
I'm gonna do traffic...

594
00:23:14,794 --> 00:23:16,127
detail.

595
00:23:16,129 --> 00:23:19,263
You know, I changed
a tire today.

596
00:23:19,265 --> 00:23:21,332
All by myself.

597
00:23:21,334 --> 00:23:23,167
This bathrobe's already
coming in handy.

598
00:23:24,370 --> 00:23:27,037
Coming!

599
00:23:30,342 --> 00:23:31,675
Think we'll find him?

600
00:23:31,677 --> 00:23:32,977
Yeah, I do.

601
00:23:32,979 --> 00:23:34,645
'Cause justice never rests.

602
00:23:34,647 --> 00:23:36,547
Halvsies?

603
00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:39,016
No.
Wholesies.

604
00:23:40,852 --> 00:23:42,453
Listen, man, I really appreciate

605
00:23:42,455 --> 00:23:43,754
you letting me shadow you today.

606
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:45,523
I feel like I learned a lot.
Natch.

607
00:23:45,525 --> 00:23:47,458
Yep.

608
00:23:47,460 --> 00:23:48,926
If you don't mind,

609
00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:50,728
I think I'll hang up
some of these posters

610
00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:51,896
around my neighborhood.

611
00:23:51,898 --> 00:23:54,498
Schools, post office, et cetera.

612
00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:57,034
You know,

613
00:23:57,036 --> 00:23:58,769
I may have underestimated you.

614
00:23:58,771 --> 00:24:01,138
You're not a total ass.

615
00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:12,416
Okay, I am
really going to do this.

616
00:24:12,418 --> 00:24:13,984
Good luck, Michael.

617
00:24:13,986 --> 00:24:16,086
You know what?
I need my girls with me.

618
00:24:16,088 --> 00:24:17,455
Pam, Karen, even Phyllis.

619
00:24:17,457 --> 00:24:18,789
Come on.
Let's do this.

620
00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:21,091
Let's do it.

621
00:24:24,497 --> 00:24:26,063
Okay, remember, be strong.

622
00:24:32,904 --> 00:24:34,405
I love you guys.

623
00:24:35,574 --> 00:24:37,441
Now I'm getting her voice-mail.

624
00:24:37,443 --> 00:24:38,609
Don't leave a...

625
00:24:38,611 --> 00:24:39,743
Hey, Jan.
It's me, Michael.

626
00:24:39,745 --> 00:24:42,179
I'm just calling to say

627
00:24:42,181 --> 00:24:44,949
that I think we need
a little break, permanently.

628
00:24:44,951 --> 00:24:48,786
And, uh, I know
everybody says this,

629
00:24:48,788 --> 00:24:52,056
but I-I wanna remain friends.

630
00:24:52,058 --> 00:24:54,859
Or at least business associates

631
00:24:54,861 --> 00:24:57,695
who get along.

632
00:24:57,697 --> 00:24:59,763
Oh, just so you know,
it's not me, it's you.

633
00:25:03,568 --> 00:25:05,169
Okay, buddy.

634
00:25:05,171 --> 00:25:06,370
Somebody just walked in.

635
00:25:06,372 --> 00:25:07,538
I have to go.

636
00:25:07,540 --> 00:25:09,206
Um, so I'll talk to you later.

637
00:25:11,544 --> 00:25:13,244
Michael...

638
00:25:13,246 --> 00:25:15,713
I was, um...

639
00:25:15,715 --> 00:25:17,915
I was really unhappy
with our conversation earlier.

640
00:25:17,917 --> 00:25:20,251
And I...

641
00:25:20,253 --> 00:25:23,120
I just... I couldn't stop
thinking about it.

642
00:25:23,122 --> 00:25:25,456
So I decided that I would
drive down here

643
00:25:25,458 --> 00:25:27,791
and apologize to you in person.

644
00:25:27,793 --> 00:25:29,727
So...

645
00:25:36,334 --> 00:25:38,002
I'm sorry.

646
00:25:38,004 --> 00:25:41,539
Thank you.

647
00:25:41,541 --> 00:25:43,574
So...

648
00:25:43,576 --> 00:25:45,442
we're good?

649
00:25:45,444 --> 00:25:47,678
Abso-fruit-ly.

650
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:49,513
Oh.
Hold on, I'm sorry.

651
00:25:49,515 --> 00:25:50,881
No... no...

652
00:25:50,883 --> 00:25:52,082
One second.

653
00:25:54,452 --> 00:25:56,720
Oh! It's from you.

654
00:25:59,858 --> 00:26:01,425
Uh, you wanna grab some dinner?

655
00:26:01,427 --> 00:26:03,494
It's me, Michael.
Okay.

656
00:26:03,496 --> 00:26:04,828
I'm just calling to say
that I think

657
00:26:04,830 --> 00:26:07,698
we need a little break,
permanently.

658
00:26:07,700 --> 00:26:11,435
And, uh, I know
everybody says this,

659
00:26:11,437 --> 00:26:12,770
but I want...

660
00:26:12,772 --> 00:26:14,104
Maybe some Italian.

661
00:26:14,106 --> 00:26:16,574
Or at least
business associates...

662
00:26:16,576 --> 00:26:18,709
Chinese?

663
00:26:18,711 --> 00:26:20,578
Oh, just so you know,

664
00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:22,980
it's not me, it's you.

665
00:26:22,982 --> 00:26:25,249
Okay, buddy.

666
00:26:25,251 --> 00:26:26,450
Oh.

667
00:26:33,225 --> 00:26:35,259
Any man who says
he totally understands women

668
00:26:35,261 --> 00:26:37,161
is a fool.

669
00:26:37,163 --> 00:26:39,563
Because they are
un-understandable.

670
00:26:39,565 --> 00:26:42,967
There's a wishing fountain
at the mall.

671
00:26:42,969 --> 00:26:46,437
And I threw a coin in
for every woman in the world

672
00:26:46,439 --> 00:26:47,771
and made a wish.

673
00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:50,874
I wished for Jan to get over me.

674
00:26:50,876 --> 00:26:53,744
I wished for Phyllis,
a plasma TV.

675
00:26:53,746 --> 00:26:57,414
I wished for Pam
to gain courage.

676
00:26:57,416 --> 00:27:00,918
I wished for Angela, a heart,

677
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:02,953
and for Kelly, a brain.

678
00:27:02,955 --> 00:27:05,522
"Michael, how can you
appreciate women so much

679
00:27:05,524 --> 00:27:08,158
but also dump one of them?"

680
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:12,363
You mean, how can I be
so illogical

681
00:27:12,365 --> 00:27:14,298
and flighty and unpredictable

682
00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:16,533
and emotional?

683
00:27:18,803 --> 00:27:21,205
Well, maybe I learned something
from women after all.

684
00:27:23,843 --> 00:27:26,810
Dunder-Mifflin paper/
sex predator hotline,

685
00:27:26,812 --> 00:27:28,045
this is Dwight Schrute.

686
00:27:28,047 --> 00:27:29,613
Hey, Dwight.
It's Jim.

687
00:27:29,615 --> 00:27:31,649
Jim, what are you doing?
I'm busy.

688
00:27:31,651 --> 00:27:32,983
No, you're not.

689
00:27:32,985 --> 00:27:34,385
I'm looking right at you.

690
00:27:34,387 --> 00:27:35,719
Ugh. I'm hanging up.

691
00:27:35,721 --> 00:27:36,787
Don't.

692
00:27:36,789 --> 00:27:38,822
I have information

693
00:27:38,824 --> 00:27:40,457
about the sex predator.

694
00:27:40,459 --> 00:27:44,094
You have information
about the sex predator?

695
00:27:44,096 --> 00:27:46,897
I saw him two minutes ago.

696
00:27:46,899 --> 00:27:48,265
Where?

697
00:27:48,267 --> 00:27:50,834
In the women's bathroom,
above the sink.

698
00:27:57,976 --> 00:27:59,977
Anti-flashing task force!

699
00:27:59,979 --> 00:28:02,379
Above the sink.

700
00:28:02,381 --> 00:28:04,314
Above the sink.

701
00:28:04,316 --> 00:28:05,716
Hmm.

702
00:28:13,024 --> 00:28:15,359
Pam!

702
00:28:16,305 --> 00:29:16,319
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