1 00:00:01,449 --> 00:00:02,473 Hey. Hey. 2 00:00:02,550 --> 00:00:04,541 I got you one. Oh, wow. Thank you. 3 00:00:04,619 --> 00:00:05,830 Yeah. I'm just going to grab some chips. 4 00:00:05,854 --> 00:00:07,549 You want some? No, thanks. 5 00:00:07,622 --> 00:00:09,283 We're still having lunch today, right? 6 00:00:09,357 --> 00:00:10,756 I guess. 7 00:00:14,796 --> 00:00:16,263 How dare you. 8 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:24,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 9 00:00:30,078 --> 00:00:32,911 Hey, Toby, what's this? 10 00:00:32,981 --> 00:00:35,059 "I just want to remind everyone about the company rules 11 00:00:35,083 --> 00:00:38,712 "involving PDA, or public displays of affection"? 12 00:00:38,786 --> 00:00:41,414 Yes. Some people in the office have complained... 13 00:00:41,489 --> 00:00:43,047 Oh, really? About some other people 14 00:00:43,124 --> 00:00:44,648 engaging in PDA, 15 00:00:44,726 --> 00:00:48,321 and, you know, I just want to remind that it's not appropriate to do that. 16 00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:50,261 Is this about me and Jan in my office? 17 00:00:50,331 --> 00:00:52,561 Because I will have you know that that was consensual. 18 00:00:52,634 --> 00:00:55,899 What we did has nothing to do with you or anyone here. 19 00:00:55,970 --> 00:00:58,598 I don't think anyone heard anything. 20 00:00:58,673 --> 00:01:02,734 We were very discreet and most people had left by that point. 21 00:01:02,810 --> 00:01:04,810 Okay... So I don't think it's any of your business. 22 00:01:04,879 --> 00:01:08,371 What I think you should do is roll up the memo real tight... 23 00:01:08,449 --> 00:01:10,644 Okay, hey, look, the memo was not about you. 24 00:01:10,718 --> 00:01:14,620 F'or the record, I have never been involved with anyone at work in any capacity. 25 00:01:14,689 --> 00:01:16,884 All right, everyone. Look. It... 26 00:01:16,958 --> 00:01:19,552 All right, the complaint was about Jim and Pam. 27 00:01:20,562 --> 00:01:21,654 So... 28 00:01:22,664 --> 00:01:24,131 No way. What? 29 00:01:24,199 --> 00:01:26,064 You guys are together? 30 00:01:26,768 --> 00:01:28,292 Um... 31 00:01:29,571 --> 00:01:31,129 Yep. 32 00:01:31,206 --> 00:01:34,141 Yes, we are. Wow! 33 00:01:34,209 --> 00:01:36,006 Tuna! Awesome! 34 00:01:36,077 --> 00:01:37,374 - I knew it. - You guys! 35 00:01:37,445 --> 00:01:39,709 - To the two of you. - Yes! Yes! 36 00:01:39,781 --> 00:01:42,909 Toby, was this your fun little way of congratulating us? 37 00:01:44,285 --> 00:01:45,285 Yes. 38 00:01:45,353 --> 00:01:47,821 Okay, mind is exploding. 39 00:01:47,889 --> 00:01:49,914 Get over here. Come on. 40 00:01:49,991 --> 00:01:52,516 Come here. Okay. 41 00:01:52,827 --> 00:01:54,351 Okay, stand up. 42 00:01:55,263 --> 00:01:56,696 Okay, here we go. 43 00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:02,864 Everyone, this is a day that will live in infamy, 44 00:02:03,371 --> 00:02:09,503 because today is the day that Jim and Pam become one. 45 00:02:09,577 --> 00:02:11,222 Actually we've been dating for a couple of months. 46 00:02:11,246 --> 00:02:14,215 I love you guys so much. 47 00:02:19,687 --> 00:02:22,520 Phone's ringing. No, no, no, Pam, let them ring. 48 00:02:22,790 --> 00:02:27,022 Let the bells of Dunder Mifflin chime out your love, 49 00:02:27,595 --> 00:02:31,861 because this is really good. This is really good. 50 00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:37,797 My heart soars with the eagle's nest. 51 00:02:38,106 --> 00:02:41,166 I don't see it. I think they both could do better. 52 00:02:41,576 --> 00:02:45,979 It's not a surprise to me. Pam is the office mattress. 53 00:02:46,247 --> 00:02:47,646 Jim Halpert's off the market. 54 00:02:47,715 --> 00:02:51,344 Guess who just became the best-looking single guy in the office? 55 00:03:24,252 --> 00:03:27,312 Hey, can you make that straighter? 56 00:03:28,256 --> 00:03:30,053 That's what she said. 57 00:03:30,458 --> 00:03:32,050 Did you plan that? 58 00:03:32,126 --> 00:03:33,286 No. 59 00:03:34,162 --> 00:03:36,027 "Can you make that straighter?" 60 00:03:36,097 --> 00:03:37,928 "That job looks hard." 61 00:03:37,999 --> 00:03:40,263 "You should put your mouth on that." 62 00:03:40,335 --> 00:03:42,735 How can you even use that one naturally? 63 00:03:43,004 --> 00:03:44,665 Blowing up balloons, I thought. 64 00:03:44,739 --> 00:03:46,969 "You might want to trim it a little." Michael... 65 00:03:47,041 --> 00:03:49,202 Oh, is Ryan coming back today? 66 00:03:50,078 --> 00:03:51,545 Yeah, he is. 67 00:03:52,046 --> 00:03:53,274 Oh. 68 00:03:54,782 --> 00:03:57,307 Pam and Jim are together. Ryan is visiting. 69 00:03:58,019 --> 00:04:01,113 Only thing that could make this day better is ice cream. 70 00:04:04,425 --> 00:04:06,052 What do you want? 71 00:04:06,127 --> 00:04:07,594 To give you this. 72 00:04:09,197 --> 00:04:10,357 What is that? 73 00:04:10,431 --> 00:04:11,898 It's a feral barn cat. 74 00:04:11,966 --> 00:04:13,926 I trapped him last night and I'm giving him to you 75 00:04:13,968 --> 00:04:16,061 as a replacement cat for the one I destroyed. 76 00:04:16,137 --> 00:04:17,968 Her name was Sprinkles. 77 00:04:18,039 --> 00:04:21,372 And his name is Garbage. 78 00:04:21,743 --> 00:04:24,405 Mose calls him Garbage, 'cause he likes to eat garbage. 79 00:04:24,479 --> 00:04:25,605 Don't you, Garbage? 80 00:04:26,781 --> 00:04:29,579 I can't believe you just thought you could replace Sprinkles. 81 00:04:29,650 --> 00:04:31,641 Before she's even in the ground. 82 00:04:31,719 --> 00:04:33,243 You haven't buried her yet? 83 00:04:33,321 --> 00:04:35,152 Don't rush me. I'm grieving. 84 00:04:35,223 --> 00:04:38,659 Garbage can be very helpful, okay? He's a useful cat. 85 00:04:38,726 --> 00:04:41,422 He killed an entire family of raccoons. Look at him. 86 00:04:41,496 --> 00:04:44,727 I don't want Garbage. I want Sprinkles. 87 00:04:58,746 --> 00:05:00,236 Hey, Toby. 88 00:05:00,314 --> 00:05:02,839 Hey, you two. 89 00:05:02,917 --> 00:05:03,941 Hey. 90 00:05:04,018 --> 00:05:06,350 So, now that we are dating, 91 00:05:06,421 --> 00:05:08,912 we just wanted to know if we had to sign one of those 92 00:05:08,990 --> 00:05:11,254 "we're dating" things for the company. 93 00:05:11,726 --> 00:05:16,686 Oh, well, you know those are only for, you know, "relationships." 94 00:05:16,964 --> 00:05:20,491 So if this is just a casual thing, there's no need. 95 00:05:20,568 --> 00:05:22,126 Really. Oh. 96 00:05:22,203 --> 00:05:25,969 Well, I won't speak for Jim, but it's, like, pretty official. 97 00:05:28,342 --> 00:05:29,707 Uh-huh. 98 00:05:31,446 --> 00:05:34,142 Sorry, so do we need to sign one or... 99 00:05:35,183 --> 00:05:38,016 Let's just wait and see what happens. Yeah. 100 00:05:38,486 --> 00:05:40,681 What? Let's just wait. 101 00:05:41,989 --> 00:05:43,217 Oh, okay. Okay. 102 00:05:43,291 --> 00:05:44,417 Great. 103 00:05:52,733 --> 00:05:54,928 Hey, Ryan, welcome back... Hold on one second. 104 00:06:03,611 --> 00:06:05,511 Hey, Pam, it's great to see you. Is Michael in? 105 00:06:05,580 --> 00:06:07,844 Yeah. Hey. There he is. There he is. 106 00:06:07,915 --> 00:06:09,906 He's back and he's with a beard. 107 00:06:11,118 --> 00:06:12,676 He has facial hair. 108 00:06:12,753 --> 00:06:16,348 Look at him. All grown up and no place to go. 109 00:06:16,424 --> 00:06:19,791 Hello, Mr. Sonny Crockett. I'm Tubbs. 110 00:06:20,528 --> 00:06:21,790 Okay. Should we get started? 111 00:06:21,863 --> 00:06:24,093 Oh, yeah, let's get started because... 112 00:06:24,165 --> 00:06:25,894 Yes, 'cause this is very serious business. 113 00:06:25,967 --> 00:06:27,298 Yeah. Exactly. 114 00:06:27,401 --> 00:06:28,912 This is a business meeting. Business meeting. 115 00:06:28,936 --> 00:06:30,198 F'ire guy. Stop that! 116 00:06:30,271 --> 00:06:31,465 That's right. 117 00:06:31,539 --> 00:06:33,116 That's right. F'ire guy. Oh, you scared me. 118 00:06:33,140 --> 00:06:34,284 He's the fire guy. Don't start any fires. 119 00:06:34,308 --> 00:06:35,798 F'ire guy. 120 00:06:35,877 --> 00:06:36,969 You weren't here for that. 121 00:06:37,044 --> 00:06:38,636 Here for what? When he started the fire. 122 00:06:38,713 --> 00:06:43,377 Look how big he is. Look at you. You are so mature and old 123 00:06:43,451 --> 00:06:46,682 and little man now. You're like our little man. 124 00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:47,948 Okay... Little old man-boy. 125 00:06:48,022 --> 00:06:49,489 Michael, everybody... With a beard. 126 00:06:49,557 --> 00:06:50,888 - Bearded man-boy. - Wow! 127 00:06:50,958 --> 00:06:53,392 Let me say something. I know I used to be a temp here, 128 00:06:53,461 --> 00:06:54,985 but now everything is different. 129 00:06:55,062 --> 00:06:57,587 I'd like your respect. I am your boss now. 130 00:06:57,665 --> 00:06:59,776 You're gonna have to treat me the same way you treated Jan. 131 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:00,858 Oh, wow. So... 132 00:07:00,935 --> 00:07:03,403 Mmm. That's a little kinky. I don't swing that way. 133 00:07:03,471 --> 00:07:05,200 Okay. Woo! 134 00:07:05,273 --> 00:07:06,633 I think Ryan has a gay crush on me. 135 00:07:06,674 --> 00:07:10,371 Enough! Okay? This is inappropriate and it stops right now. 136 00:07:13,748 --> 00:07:15,181 Do you understand? 137 00:07:15,249 --> 00:07:16,614 Yes. 138 00:07:16,684 --> 00:07:18,675 Everybody, come on, settle down. 139 00:07:18,753 --> 00:07:20,380 Let's get serious here. 140 00:07:20,454 --> 00:07:24,151 Ryan has a very special important presentation to do, 141 00:07:24,225 --> 00:07:26,785 which we will be doing in the conference room in 10 minutes. 142 00:07:26,861 --> 00:07:29,853 Perfect. Sound good? Okay. All right. 143 00:07:29,931 --> 00:07:31,296 Yeah, Ryan snapped at me. 144 00:07:31,365 --> 00:07:35,358 But there was this twinkle in his eye that I picked up on, which said, 145 00:07:35,436 --> 00:07:38,928 "Dude, we're friends. I'm doing this for appearances." 146 00:07:39,006 --> 00:07:40,701 "I am the big boss now," 147 00:07:40,775 --> 00:07:43,938 "and I have to seem like an ogre, but you know me" 148 00:07:44,011 --> 00:07:47,242 "and you trust me and we like each other," 149 00:07:47,315 --> 00:07:52,617 "and we'll always be friends and I would never take you for granted" 150 00:07:52,687 --> 00:07:55,087 "in a million years." 151 00:07:55,156 --> 00:07:58,717 "And I miss you, man, and I love you." 152 00:07:59,594 --> 00:08:00,891 His words. 153 00:08:06,534 --> 00:08:09,970 Dunder Mifflin Infinity represents a floor-to-ceiling streamlining 154 00:08:10,037 --> 00:08:11,299 of our business model. 155 00:08:11,372 --> 00:08:13,237 The centerpiece of the campaign 156 00:08:13,307 --> 00:08:16,242 is a new business-to-business website interface 157 00:08:16,310 --> 00:08:19,837 that will allow us to compete directly with big-box chains. 158 00:08:19,914 --> 00:08:21,506 Wait a second, 159 00:08:21,582 --> 00:08:24,346 last time I checked, Dunder Mifflin already has a website. 160 00:08:24,418 --> 00:08:27,410 And quite frankly, I'm not really sure what's wrong with it. 161 00:08:28,122 --> 00:08:30,283 This is a massive overhaul. 162 00:08:30,358 --> 00:08:32,258 We're getting younger, sleeker 163 00:08:32,326 --> 00:08:35,454 and more agile with the way that we adapt to the marketplace. 164 00:08:35,529 --> 00:08:38,175 All essential personnel will be issued BlackBerries for company use. 165 00:08:38,199 --> 00:08:39,564 Oh, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. 166 00:08:39,634 --> 00:08:42,079 I'll stick around for a while to help you set them up afterwards. 167 00:08:42,103 --> 00:08:44,799 Any questions? Dwight? 168 00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:48,433 What if we don't want to use a BlackBerry because they are stupid and pointless? 169 00:08:48,509 --> 00:08:49,737 This is company-wide, Dwight. 170 00:08:49,810 --> 00:08:50,834 Got it. 171 00:08:50,911 --> 00:08:52,071 Andy? 172 00:08:52,146 --> 00:08:55,013 You should call it Dunder Mifflinfinity. 173 00:08:55,182 --> 00:08:57,116 You know, push the words together. 174 00:08:57,184 --> 00:08:58,674 Any other questions? 175 00:09:00,154 --> 00:09:01,154 Kelly Kapour? 176 00:09:01,222 --> 00:09:03,816 Can we speak privately about our relationship? 177 00:09:03,924 --> 00:09:05,050 Thank you, everybody. 178 00:09:05,126 --> 00:09:06,718 Ryan Howard, everybody. 179 00:09:06,794 --> 00:09:08,056 Good job. 180 00:09:09,664 --> 00:09:11,359 That was some fun stuff. 181 00:09:11,565 --> 00:09:13,624 When does the website go up? As fast as possible. 182 00:09:13,701 --> 00:09:15,430 We want to start retraining people ASAP 183 00:09:15,503 --> 00:09:17,381 so we can hit the ground running with the new system. 184 00:09:17,405 --> 00:09:18,770 Cool beans. 185 00:09:19,807 --> 00:09:21,775 We're screwed. Who is? 186 00:09:21,842 --> 00:09:23,867 Us. You and me. The old-timers. 187 00:09:24,078 --> 00:09:26,137 I am not old. You are old. 188 00:09:26,213 --> 00:09:27,976 You are, like, 100. 189 00:09:28,149 --> 00:09:29,844 You're over 40. That's the cut-off. 190 00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:32,078 Are you listening to what he's saying? 191 00:09:32,153 --> 00:09:35,088 "Retraining," "new system," "youth." 192 00:09:35,156 --> 00:09:39,024 I'm telling you this kid is the Grim Reaper. You deal with this 193 00:09:39,093 --> 00:09:43,530 or you, me, Sammy, Phyllis, the chick you hit with the car, we're goners. 194 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,264 I swore I wouldn't tell anybody this, but 195 00:09:49,570 --> 00:09:52,733 in the interest of revealing secrets... 196 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,809 Oh, my God, this is gonna make your brain explode. 197 00:09:56,510 --> 00:09:59,035 Dwight and Angela 198 00:09:59,113 --> 00:10:00,603 dating. 199 00:10:00,681 --> 00:10:02,478 Have been for six months. 200 00:10:02,550 --> 00:10:04,780 No. Swear to God. 201 00:10:04,852 --> 00:10:07,464 Oh, this is great. I was actually gonna wait and tell you on your birthday, 202 00:10:07,488 --> 00:10:08,955 but this is much more fun. 203 00:10:09,023 --> 00:10:13,289 No, they have been dating for, like, two years. 204 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,453 Since before your barbecue. 205 00:10:16,997 --> 00:10:18,897 Wait, what? 206 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,262 You knew? 207 00:10:21,602 --> 00:10:22,679 And you didn't say anything? 208 00:10:22,703 --> 00:10:24,796 You didn't say anything to me. 209 00:10:26,006 --> 00:10:27,268 F'air enough. 210 00:10:27,808 --> 00:10:31,710 Wow. We should have started dating, like, a long time ago. 211 00:10:31,779 --> 00:10:32,889 Oh, sorry... Can you believe that? 212 00:10:32,913 --> 00:10:34,257 I didn't know you guys were in here. 213 00:10:34,281 --> 00:10:35,492 Oh, no. We're just sitting here. 214 00:10:35,516 --> 00:10:37,541 I couldn't see your hands. 215 00:10:38,586 --> 00:10:42,113 Hey, Pam, by the way, it's great that you're dating. 216 00:10:42,189 --> 00:10:47,217 But when a new client calls, you just have to randomly assign them to a salesperson. 217 00:10:47,628 --> 00:10:51,462 You can't base who gets new clients on who you're sleeping with that week. 218 00:10:51,532 --> 00:10:53,363 Okay? Okay. 219 00:10:53,434 --> 00:10:55,698 Okay. Okay. 220 00:10:55,770 --> 00:10:59,331 And that is why we waited so long to tell people. 221 00:11:10,484 --> 00:11:11,815 Okay, what's up? 222 00:11:11,886 --> 00:11:13,649 Yeah, okay, I was just... 223 00:11:14,455 --> 00:11:17,913 After the presentation I just wanted to make sure that vis-à-vis me in the office, 224 00:11:17,992 --> 00:11:19,619 everything is business as usual? 225 00:11:19,693 --> 00:11:22,093 Well, it is business, but not as usual. 226 00:11:22,163 --> 00:11:23,790 Yeah, no, I understand. 227 00:11:23,864 --> 00:11:28,460 We're making great strides, we're updating, but business as usual, no? 228 00:11:28,536 --> 00:11:32,165 No. We're throwing out the entire playbook, we're starting from scratch, 229 00:11:32,239 --> 00:11:34,366 we're implementing a brand new system. 230 00:11:34,441 --> 00:11:36,306 Good. So we're on the same page. 231 00:11:36,377 --> 00:11:38,504 No, we're not. 232 00:11:40,481 --> 00:11:46,977 Michael, I know exactly how much time and manpower are wasted in this branch. 233 00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:50,455 This company is getting younger, faster and more efficient. 234 00:11:50,524 --> 00:11:52,754 You need to prepare yourself. 235 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:56,557 We had a foreign exchange student live with us when I was young 236 00:11:56,630 --> 00:12:00,726 and we called him my brother and that's what I thought he was. 237 00:12:02,436 --> 00:12:06,873 And then he went home to what is now formerly Yugoslavia, 238 00:12:07,575 --> 00:12:10,544 taking all of my blue jeans with him. 239 00:12:10,611 --> 00:12:13,603 And I had to spend the entire winter in shorts. 240 00:12:14,615 --> 00:12:17,550 That is what Ryan is like. 241 00:12:17,618 --> 00:12:19,848 A fake brother who steals your jeans. 242 00:12:24,692 --> 00:12:26,990 So, how are you? 243 00:12:27,061 --> 00:12:29,495 Awesome. I am dating a lot of guys. 244 00:12:29,763 --> 00:12:32,061 Good. A lot. Black guys, mostly. 245 00:12:32,299 --> 00:12:33,766 - Kelly. - What? 246 00:12:36,670 --> 00:12:37,796 Wait... 247 00:12:38,239 --> 00:12:41,231 How do you touch just one of these buttons at a time? 248 00:12:41,308 --> 00:12:42,707 I don't know. 249 00:12:42,776 --> 00:12:44,607 Did you even try? 250 00:12:45,279 --> 00:12:48,271 If the kid wants to set mine up, I'll let him. 251 00:12:48,349 --> 00:12:50,010 I can't see half the things. 252 00:12:50,084 --> 00:12:52,678 It's too little. Use the phone. 253 00:12:53,287 --> 00:12:56,518 I want you to tell me that you care about me. That is what I want. 254 00:12:56,590 --> 00:12:58,421 Kelly, I'm your boss now, okay? 255 00:12:58,492 --> 00:13:00,570 You can't keep talking to me like I'm your boyfriend. 256 00:13:00,594 --> 00:13:03,859 Oh, big strong man, fancy new whatever. 257 00:13:03,931 --> 00:13:05,242 I don't think you ever cared about me. 258 00:13:05,266 --> 00:13:06,358 I never cared about you? 259 00:13:06,433 --> 00:13:08,433 Six months ago, Karen F'ilippelli sent me an email, 260 00:13:08,469 --> 00:13:09,902 asked me out, I said no, 261 00:13:09,970 --> 00:13:11,681 because I was committed to our relationship. 262 00:13:11,705 --> 00:13:14,572 Well, I hope you're still committed, because I'm pregnant. 263 00:13:17,845 --> 00:13:20,439 And guess what, buddy? I am keeping it. 264 00:13:20,514 --> 00:13:21,879 Okay. Okay. 265 00:13:21,949 --> 00:13:23,460 Do you feel prepared to help me raise a baby? 266 00:13:23,484 --> 00:13:26,681 I can't... I can't talk about this right now, okay? 267 00:13:26,787 --> 00:13:28,652 After work, we'll go out to dinner. 268 00:13:28,722 --> 00:13:30,519 We'll talk about it then, okay? 269 00:13:34,428 --> 00:13:35,861 We have a date. 270 00:13:39,867 --> 00:13:42,301 Hello. Hello, Dwight. 271 00:13:42,670 --> 00:13:44,968 I've been thinking about things 272 00:13:46,907 --> 00:13:50,434 and I wanted to know if you would have dinner with me tonight. 273 00:13:50,511 --> 00:13:51,603 Really? 274 00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:52,873 Yes. 275 00:13:52,947 --> 00:13:56,405 I'll make a reservation. No, no. Let me cook for you. 276 00:13:56,483 --> 00:13:59,281 Cauliflower and noodles. Baked potato on the side. 277 00:13:59,353 --> 00:14:01,583 I would prefer a public place. 278 00:14:02,790 --> 00:14:04,189 See you after work. 279 00:14:10,664 --> 00:14:12,256 Hi, Pam. Hi. 280 00:14:12,333 --> 00:14:13,823 Is Michael in? In his office. 281 00:14:13,901 --> 00:14:15,459 You can go right in. Okay. 282 00:14:15,536 --> 00:14:16,594 Hey. Jan. 283 00:14:16,670 --> 00:14:19,468 Ryan. Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. 284 00:14:20,374 --> 00:14:23,366 So, elephant in the room, I have your old job. 285 00:14:24,645 --> 00:14:28,012 Well, not exactly my job. I mean, I had a different title. 286 00:14:28,082 --> 00:14:31,313 Oh, well, excuse me. Same office, same responsibilities. 287 00:14:31,385 --> 00:14:34,320 Different salary. You'll get there. Don't worry. 288 00:14:34,388 --> 00:14:36,913 Well, you look great. 289 00:14:36,991 --> 00:14:38,652 Thank you. Thank you. 290 00:14:38,726 --> 00:14:40,694 Scranton suits you. 291 00:14:40,761 --> 00:14:42,490 Best decision I ever made. 292 00:14:43,364 --> 00:14:44,797 You were let go. 293 00:14:44,865 --> 00:14:47,390 You know, I love the beard. Keep it forever. 294 00:14:48,936 --> 00:14:50,233 - Hey. - Hey. 295 00:14:51,605 --> 00:14:55,473 What is the actual deal with these things in terms of testicles? 296 00:14:55,542 --> 00:14:56,702 What? 297 00:14:56,777 --> 00:15:00,440 I don't want to grow weird sperm in case we ever want to have kids. 298 00:15:01,715 --> 00:15:04,081 So what's Ryan doing here? 299 00:15:04,151 --> 00:15:06,517 Oh, I don't know. 300 00:15:06,587 --> 00:15:08,782 They're launching a big new business plan, 301 00:15:08,856 --> 00:15:10,653 new website... Blah, blah, blah. 302 00:15:11,959 --> 00:15:14,325 He's being a real twerp about it, too. 303 00:15:14,395 --> 00:15:19,526 It's all about youth and agility and streamlining 304 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,295 and trying to squeeze out the older people. 305 00:15:21,368 --> 00:15:23,359 He's such a snake. Well... 306 00:15:23,437 --> 00:15:25,803 I hope he gets hit with an ageism suit. 307 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,307 What is that word? 308 00:15:28,375 --> 00:15:29,899 Ageism? 309 00:15:30,511 --> 00:15:34,208 Companies, they can't discriminate against people due to old age. 310 00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:37,327 Like a couple of years ago, we tried to force out some of the older branch managers 311 00:15:37,351 --> 00:15:38,875 with a mandatory retirement age. 312 00:15:38,952 --> 00:15:40,681 And then Ed Truck, your old boss, 313 00:15:40,788 --> 00:15:43,814 threatened us with a lawsuit, so we had to back off. 314 00:15:43,891 --> 00:15:47,292 So older people have just as many rights as younger people? 315 00:15:47,361 --> 00:15:48,988 Yes, Michael. 316 00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:51,258 They do. 317 00:16:14,388 --> 00:16:16,015 Creed? Yes, sir. 318 00:16:16,457 --> 00:16:18,948 Everything okay? Everything's cool, dude. 319 00:16:19,093 --> 00:16:22,256 I'm 30. Well, in November, I'll be 30. 320 00:16:24,832 --> 00:16:26,595 Is there another meeting scheduled? 321 00:16:26,667 --> 00:16:28,478 I was gonna do the BlackBerry tutorial in here. 322 00:16:28,502 --> 00:16:31,562 Michael told us to wait in here. We don't know why. 323 00:16:34,308 --> 00:16:36,071 Oh, man. 324 00:16:36,143 --> 00:16:37,804 Good. We're all here. 325 00:16:37,878 --> 00:16:39,607 We can get started. Michael. 326 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:41,224 Have a seat. We're not doing this today. 327 00:16:41,248 --> 00:16:42,738 Have a seat like everybody else. 328 00:16:42,816 --> 00:16:44,443 Okay. This is... 329 00:16:44,518 --> 00:16:46,076 It's still my office, Ryan. 330 00:16:53,026 --> 00:16:57,861 Well, there has been a lot of talk about new ideas today. 331 00:16:57,931 --> 00:17:01,094 Well, new ideas are fine, 332 00:17:01,168 --> 00:17:03,830 but they are also illegal 333 00:17:03,904 --> 00:17:06,532 because they are a form of ageism. 334 00:17:06,607 --> 00:17:08,905 What? Yes. I am right. 335 00:17:10,010 --> 00:17:15,573 Did you know that, "The age discrimination in employment act of 1967" 336 00:17:15,682 --> 00:17:19,584 "prohibits employment discrimination based on age with respect to employees 337 00:17:19,653 --> 00:17:21,621 "40 years of age or older"? 338 00:17:21,688 --> 00:17:22,848 I did. 339 00:17:22,923 --> 00:17:24,618 Mmm. Technically, he's right. 340 00:17:24,691 --> 00:17:25,783 Hey, shut up, Toby. 341 00:17:25,859 --> 00:17:30,694 Look, why do we, as a society, hate old people so much? 342 00:17:30,764 --> 00:17:31,822 Because they're lame. 343 00:17:31,899 --> 00:17:34,766 No! Creed, no, they are not. 344 00:17:34,835 --> 00:17:39,295 In fact, many cultures revere old people 345 00:17:39,373 --> 00:17:41,841 because of their storytelling ability. 346 00:17:41,909 --> 00:17:43,706 Like the old lady from Titanic. 347 00:17:43,777 --> 00:17:48,976 Or the funny things that they can do, like, "Where's the Beef?" 348 00:17:49,049 --> 00:17:51,017 Yeah? Why do you have the Big picture up again? 349 00:17:51,084 --> 00:17:52,862 You used that already when you burned your foot. 350 00:17:52,886 --> 00:17:54,319 Reusing the Ben Kingsley, too. 351 00:17:54,388 --> 00:17:57,414 I was going to put up some new pictures, 352 00:17:57,491 --> 00:18:00,460 but all of the ink in the printer was gone. 353 00:18:00,794 --> 00:18:01,954 Oh. 354 00:18:02,029 --> 00:18:04,862 Michael Scott? That is me. Come on in. 355 00:18:05,766 --> 00:18:07,461 Who is this old fart? 356 00:18:07,534 --> 00:18:11,903 Did you just stagger off the street out of a box or something? 357 00:18:11,972 --> 00:18:13,906 Who's this worthless bag of bones? 358 00:18:13,974 --> 00:18:18,502 Well, this guy is none other than one of the founders of Dunder Mifflin, 359 00:18:18,579 --> 00:18:20,513 Mr. Robert Dunder. 360 00:18:20,781 --> 00:18:23,045 Huh? Oh, yeah. 361 00:18:24,051 --> 00:18:25,211 Yes! 362 00:18:25,586 --> 00:18:27,230 Hi, everyone. Michael, can I talk to you for a second? 363 00:18:27,254 --> 00:18:28,619 Sure thing. 364 00:18:29,523 --> 00:18:30,683 Excuse me. 365 00:18:32,759 --> 00:18:33,817 We have actual work to do. 366 00:18:33,894 --> 00:18:35,259 F'ine. 367 00:18:35,329 --> 00:18:37,729 Then I will call David Wallace and you can explain to him 368 00:18:37,798 --> 00:18:41,097 why you threw the founder of the company out on his ancient butt. 369 00:18:44,238 --> 00:18:46,900 Bob, how old are you? 370 00:18:47,507 --> 00:18:48,531 I'm 87. 371 00:18:48,609 --> 00:18:51,077 87 years young. 372 00:18:51,144 --> 00:18:53,704 And still active. That is great. 373 00:18:53,780 --> 00:18:57,147 Did you know that Bob is still a member of the board of Dunder Mifflin? 374 00:18:57,217 --> 00:19:00,914 Well, I haven't been to a board meeting in years. 375 00:19:01,622 --> 00:19:02,622 I send a proxy. 376 00:19:02,689 --> 00:19:05,453 Ah! Still sends his own proxy. Good for you. 377 00:19:05,792 --> 00:19:08,420 I'm gonna live for a very long time. 378 00:19:08,495 --> 00:19:11,157 My Grandma Schrute lived to be 101. 379 00:19:11,231 --> 00:19:14,166 My Grandpa Manheim is 103, 380 00:19:14,234 --> 00:19:16,794 and still puttering around down in Argentina. 381 00:19:17,037 --> 00:19:18,265 I tried to go visit him once, 382 00:19:18,338 --> 00:19:21,432 but my travel visa was protested by the Shoah F'oundation. 383 00:19:21,742 --> 00:19:25,178 I started this company in 1949. 384 00:19:25,245 --> 00:19:26,269 Wow. 385 00:19:26,346 --> 00:19:29,509 Back then it was an industrial supplier 386 00:19:29,583 --> 00:19:32,848 of metal brackets, mostly, for construction. 387 00:19:32,919 --> 00:19:34,216 Oh, boy. 388 00:19:34,288 --> 00:19:35,653 And then Mifflin, 389 00:19:35,722 --> 00:19:37,815 of course he killed himself later, 390 00:19:37,891 --> 00:19:40,724 uh, but I knew Mifflin through the Rotary Club. 391 00:19:40,794 --> 00:19:41,920 Great. 392 00:19:41,995 --> 00:19:43,223 And he was... 393 00:19:43,297 --> 00:19:47,358 He was at dinner with Beverly and her husband... 394 00:19:47,434 --> 00:19:49,129 What was his name? 395 00:19:50,103 --> 00:19:52,230 Jerry. Jerry Trupianno... I don't know. 396 00:19:52,306 --> 00:19:56,572 From South Jersey and he was tall. 397 00:19:56,643 --> 00:19:59,339 Both he and Mifflin were tall guys. 398 00:19:59,413 --> 00:20:02,541 Great. That's great. Thank you for coming in. 399 00:20:02,616 --> 00:20:04,243 Robert Dunder, everybody. 400 00:20:04,318 --> 00:20:07,481 Thank you. That was wonderful. Do you have a ride? 401 00:20:07,554 --> 00:20:09,988 Well, I came here in a cab. Perfect. 402 00:20:10,057 --> 00:20:12,025 Could you get me that... That's nice. 403 00:20:12,092 --> 00:20:14,993 Inspirational. What have we learned? 404 00:20:15,062 --> 00:20:20,090 Well, we have learned that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, 405 00:20:20,167 --> 00:20:23,534 because it's illegal. And you will go to jail. 406 00:20:23,603 --> 00:20:25,230 I think that I should help him get home. 407 00:20:25,305 --> 00:20:27,967 No. No, don't help him. He doesn't need help, Pam. 408 00:20:36,350 --> 00:20:37,715 What a nice guy. 409 00:20:39,086 --> 00:20:41,611 Good night, guys. 410 00:20:42,522 --> 00:20:44,649 Well, today was a fantastic waste of time. 411 00:20:44,725 --> 00:20:46,716 I disagree. I think it was very valuable. 412 00:20:46,793 --> 00:20:50,251 Michael, technology helps business, okay? You should not resist it. 413 00:20:50,330 --> 00:20:51,730 This is the way the world is moving. 414 00:20:51,798 --> 00:20:54,733 I happen to think that the old ways of doing business are better. 415 00:20:54,801 --> 00:20:56,359 And I can prove it. 416 00:20:56,436 --> 00:20:59,166 Okay. I look forward to hearing your ideas. 417 00:21:00,540 --> 00:21:01,632 Where do you want to go? 418 00:21:01,708 --> 00:21:03,903 I don't know, someplace romantic and expensive. 419 00:21:03,977 --> 00:21:05,444 Kelly, come on. 420 00:21:05,512 --> 00:21:06,622 You know what, you're right. 421 00:21:06,646 --> 00:21:10,446 I'm feeling kind of nauseous, anyway. So, you know, skip it. 422 00:21:16,490 --> 00:21:18,924 Are you enjoying your vegetarian noodles? 423 00:21:18,992 --> 00:21:20,289 Very much. 424 00:21:20,994 --> 00:21:22,393 How's your meat? 425 00:21:22,462 --> 00:21:24,589 Dry. Delicious. 426 00:21:29,169 --> 00:21:30,397 I heard a joke today. 427 00:21:30,470 --> 00:21:32,131 Oh, that's funny. 428 00:21:32,706 --> 00:21:34,640 Yes, it was. 429 00:21:38,812 --> 00:21:41,007 Are you enjoying your mineral water? 430 00:21:41,615 --> 00:21:44,209 I can't do this. I can't be with you. 431 00:21:45,085 --> 00:21:49,647 Every time I look in your eyes I see Sprinkles' stiff, lifeless body. 432 00:21:49,723 --> 00:21:54,319 Then don't look in my eyes. Look right here. It's an old sales trick. 433 00:21:54,394 --> 00:21:57,830 I'm sorry. I gave this everything I could. 434 00:21:57,898 --> 00:22:00,162 No, please don't do this, monkey. 435 00:22:00,233 --> 00:22:03,396 I will leave your toothbrush on top of your tire tomorrow morning. 436 00:22:11,178 --> 00:22:12,873 Smell that. 437 00:22:12,946 --> 00:22:14,311 Do you smell that? 438 00:22:14,381 --> 00:22:15,405 Dry rot? 439 00:22:15,482 --> 00:22:18,645 No, Dwight, that smells like good business to me. 440 00:22:18,718 --> 00:22:20,481 What I have done here is I have collected 441 00:22:20,554 --> 00:22:24,388 all the finest gourmet items that Scranton has to offer. 442 00:22:24,458 --> 00:22:26,255 Sweet, chocolate turtles. 443 00:22:26,326 --> 00:22:29,386 Yes. No, no, those are for our clients. 444 00:22:29,463 --> 00:22:31,590 Actually, our ex-clients. I'll explain later. 445 00:22:31,665 --> 00:22:36,728 Ryan wants everything in our company to be about emails and IMs, 446 00:22:36,803 --> 00:22:41,740 but I think he is forgetting about the original instant message, 447 00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:47,111 letters attached to baskets of food. 448 00:22:53,153 --> 00:22:56,213 Excuse me, Angela. Michael asked me to turn in these receipts 449 00:22:56,289 --> 00:22:58,280 for these gift basket items. 450 00:22:58,358 --> 00:23:00,349 Thank you. You're welcome. 451 00:23:02,829 --> 00:23:04,558 Is that all? Yes. 452 00:23:08,034 --> 00:23:09,296 I miss you. 453 00:23:09,836 --> 00:23:10,962 Elevators. 454 00:23:11,671 --> 00:23:14,265 Dwight, you have to listen to me. 455 00:23:14,341 --> 00:23:18,402 We are not seeing each other anymore. Can you accept that? 456 00:23:20,780 --> 00:23:22,179 F'ine. 457 00:23:22,883 --> 00:23:24,510 Then I just want to be friends. 458 00:23:24,584 --> 00:23:25,608 Good. 459 00:23:25,685 --> 00:23:28,245 Plus a little extra. Also, I love you. 460 00:23:32,125 --> 00:23:33,302 I don't understand what the big deal is. 461 00:23:33,326 --> 00:23:34,326 You don't? No. 462 00:23:34,394 --> 00:23:36,089 You lied about being pregnant. Right. So? 463 00:23:36,162 --> 00:23:38,574 You really don't understand why that might make me kind of angry? 464 00:23:38,598 --> 00:23:40,862 No. We're never getting back together. 465 00:23:40,934 --> 00:23:42,196 Why not? 466 00:23:44,871 --> 00:23:45,929 Hey. 467 00:23:46,540 --> 00:23:47,598 Hey. 468 00:23:49,476 --> 00:23:52,809 All right, I just have to ask, now that we're public, 469 00:23:54,581 --> 00:23:56,242 is the magic gone? 470 00:23:57,384 --> 00:24:00,444 It's funny you bring that up because, yes, it is. 471 00:24:01,588 --> 00:24:05,888 I knew it. Oh, man. Just like that, huh? 472 00:24:05,959 --> 00:24:10,020 I think, I mean, I don't know what it is, but... 473 00:24:10,664 --> 00:24:14,327 Be honest. I now find you repulsive. 474 00:24:14,401 --> 00:24:15,868 That's honest. 475 00:24:17,003 --> 00:24:18,903 All right. F'air enough. 476 00:24:21,841 --> 00:24:24,537 It was really fun while it lasted, though, wasn't it? 477 00:24:24,611 --> 00:24:26,101 Yeah. 478 00:24:26,179 --> 00:24:27,703 F'or me it was. 479 00:24:27,781 --> 00:24:29,180 Okay. 480 00:24:29,249 --> 00:24:30,511 All right. 481 00:24:34,788 --> 00:24:36,415 Yeah. 482 00:24:36,489 --> 00:24:38,821 Hey, boss, I didn't know you were coming in today. 483 00:24:38,892 --> 00:24:40,655 What is going on here? 484 00:24:40,727 --> 00:24:41,887 I am glad that you asked. 485 00:24:41,962 --> 00:24:43,793 Listen up, everybody. 486 00:24:43,897 --> 00:24:48,459 In the last year, we have lost seven clients to the big chains. 487 00:24:48,535 --> 00:24:52,335 These gift baskets are our ticket back into their lives. 488 00:24:52,405 --> 00:24:53,736 We are going to show up 489 00:24:53,807 --> 00:24:57,903 at these businesses unannounced and we are going to win them back. 490 00:24:57,978 --> 00:24:58,978 With gift baskets? 491 00:24:59,045 --> 00:25:00,979 With peanut brittle, 492 00:25:01,114 --> 00:25:06,108 with macadamia nut cookies, with chocolate turtles, 493 00:25:06,386 --> 00:25:11,722 with raspberry jam, and a little bit of fat and salt. 494 00:25:11,958 --> 00:25:14,483 Because you know what? That's what people like. 495 00:25:14,561 --> 00:25:16,324 Ever since I was a kid, 496 00:25:16,396 --> 00:25:18,626 people have been telling me that I can't do things. 497 00:25:18,698 --> 00:25:20,495 "You can't be on the team." 498 00:25:20,567 --> 00:25:22,398 "You can't move on to second grade." 499 00:25:22,469 --> 00:25:26,633 Well, now they're telling me that I can't win back clients 500 00:25:26,706 --> 00:25:29,038 using old-fashioned business methods. 501 00:25:29,109 --> 00:25:30,667 We'll see about that. 502 00:25:31,945 --> 00:25:36,473 And F'YI, I eventually aced second grade, and I was the biggest kid in class. 503 00:25:37,851 --> 00:25:42,845 Okay, we're gonna split up into teams. Jim, Phyllis. Stanley, Dwight. Me, Andy. 504 00:25:43,189 --> 00:25:44,850 I'm not driving with him. 505 00:25:44,924 --> 00:25:46,653 I'll go with you, Stanley. Or him. 506 00:25:46,726 --> 00:25:47,803 Why don't we just go by ourselves? 507 00:25:47,827 --> 00:25:51,194 Why don't we just go as teams to demonstrate our teamsmanship? 508 00:25:51,264 --> 00:25:52,356 Michael? Yes. 509 00:25:52,432 --> 00:25:54,127 This is stupid. Well, that's... Okay. 510 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:55,724 That's not helpful, Phyllis. 511 00:25:55,802 --> 00:25:58,703 How is giving people gift baskets going to get our clients back? 512 00:25:58,772 --> 00:26:00,865 Gift baskets are amazing, Phyllis. 513 00:26:00,940 --> 00:26:03,636 Gift baskets are 514 00:26:05,011 --> 00:26:07,980 the essence of class and fanciness. 515 00:26:08,048 --> 00:26:10,710 They are the ultimate present that a person can receive. 516 00:26:10,784 --> 00:26:12,962 What about cash? With cash you can buy whatever you want, 517 00:26:12,986 --> 00:26:16,854 including a gift basket. So, it's kind of the best gift ever. 518 00:26:16,923 --> 00:26:18,584 What about a gift basket full of cash? 519 00:26:18,658 --> 00:26:21,422 Yes. Cash basket. Nice work, Tuna. 520 00:26:21,494 --> 00:26:22,961 F'ine. I'm just gonna go by myself. 521 00:26:23,029 --> 00:26:27,295 And I am going to win them back by myself because this is important to me. 522 00:26:28,101 --> 00:26:29,591 Michael, wait. 523 00:26:30,136 --> 00:26:31,364 Let me go. 524 00:26:32,505 --> 00:26:33,904 No, this is my quest. 525 00:26:33,973 --> 00:26:36,373 Please. Let me go. 526 00:26:36,443 --> 00:26:39,503 I need to win those clients back. 527 00:26:40,046 --> 00:26:41,104 Please. 528 00:26:41,181 --> 00:26:42,443 F'ine. 529 00:26:42,515 --> 00:26:45,780 Then Godspeed to both of us. 530 00:26:46,853 --> 00:26:48,548 Good luck, Michael. 531 00:26:48,621 --> 00:26:50,885 We don't need luck. 532 00:26:50,957 --> 00:26:52,925 Yeah. But thank you. 533 00:26:52,992 --> 00:26:54,857 That was really nice of you to say. Thank you. 534 00:26:54,928 --> 00:26:57,453 Business to business, the old-fashioned way, 535 00:26:57,530 --> 00:26:59,930 no BlackBerries, no websites. 536 00:27:01,201 --> 00:27:05,331 I would like to see a website deliver baskets of food to people. 537 00:27:07,841 --> 00:27:09,308 Yes, I understand that, David. 538 00:27:09,375 --> 00:27:11,809 I just felt that if we were to downsize Kelly 539 00:27:11,878 --> 00:27:15,678 and then outsource customer service to India, which a lot of companies... 540 00:27:16,216 --> 00:27:19,049 Yeah. No. Yes, Kelly is Indian. 541 00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,178 I understand that's confusing. 542 00:27:22,055 --> 00:27:23,920 Hey, bro, I've been meaning to ask you, 543 00:27:23,990 --> 00:27:25,981 can we get some Red Bull for these things? 544 00:27:26,059 --> 00:27:30,155 Sometimes a guy's got to ride the bull. Am I right? Later, skater. 545 00:27:33,366 --> 00:27:35,891 Sweet ride. American-made. 546 00:27:35,969 --> 00:27:37,334 What happened to the Sebring? 547 00:27:37,403 --> 00:27:39,598 It is in the body shop. 548 00:27:40,273 --> 00:27:42,752 I had to have the dent taken out of the hood where I hit Meredith. 549 00:27:42,776 --> 00:27:44,004 Oh, that's a pain in the ass. 550 00:27:44,077 --> 00:27:45,169 I know. 551 00:27:45,245 --> 00:27:47,042 So, who's next? Larry Meyers. 552 00:27:47,113 --> 00:27:50,048 Left us six months ago for Office Depot. 553 00:27:50,116 --> 00:27:54,314 Proceed to the highlighted route, then route guidance will begin. 554 00:27:54,387 --> 00:27:55,786 Why do you use that thing? 555 00:27:55,855 --> 00:27:57,720 It lets them know where you are at all times. 556 00:27:57,791 --> 00:27:58,985 Who? 557 00:27:59,058 --> 00:28:03,119 The government, spy satellites, private detectives, 558 00:28:03,897 --> 00:28:05,421 ex-girlfriends. 559 00:28:14,707 --> 00:28:18,302 Next night, I'm out at a bar, 2:00 a.m. I figure I'll get a sandwich, 560 00:28:18,378 --> 00:28:20,573 'cause you can get a sandwich any time of the night, 561 00:28:20,647 --> 00:28:22,274 I run into Vince Vaughn. 562 00:28:22,348 --> 00:28:23,747 No way. 563 00:28:23,817 --> 00:28:24,875 Literally. 564 00:28:24,951 --> 00:28:27,613 Dude, you are so money, 565 00:28:27,687 --> 00:28:30,554 but you don't even know it, but you do. 566 00:28:32,225 --> 00:28:33,817 Later, guys. Yeah. 567 00:28:33,893 --> 00:28:36,020 Later, dude. Later, man. 568 00:28:38,832 --> 00:28:43,166 Jim, how awesome is Ryan now? 569 00:28:43,236 --> 00:28:45,568 Yeah. He's definitely something. 570 00:28:46,239 --> 00:28:47,297 What does that mean? 571 00:28:47,373 --> 00:28:50,672 That whole lifestyle, his whole vibe, you find that appealing? 572 00:28:52,011 --> 00:28:53,069 Tuna. 573 00:28:54,681 --> 00:28:55,807 Tuna, Tuna, Tuna. 574 00:28:55,882 --> 00:28:57,406 Tuna, Tuna, Tuna. 575 00:28:57,884 --> 00:29:01,115 He has a killer job. He's rich. 576 00:29:01,187 --> 00:29:05,055 He smells like what I think Pierce Brosnan probably smells like. 577 00:29:05,124 --> 00:29:07,718 He wears really cool rich-guy clothes. 578 00:29:07,794 --> 00:29:11,389 And he can get any girl that he wants. 579 00:29:11,464 --> 00:29:14,865 So, I'm sorry, Tuna, but if you don't know why that's awesome, 580 00:29:15,168 --> 00:29:16,226 then 581 00:29:17,470 --> 00:29:19,267 you need awesome lessons. 582 00:29:19,339 --> 00:29:21,500 Tuna, check you later. 583 00:29:22,575 --> 00:29:25,237 'Cause he's so money that he doesn't even know it. 584 00:29:25,311 --> 00:29:27,711 Wow, those things are heavy. 585 00:29:28,481 --> 00:29:29,880 There's a lot of stuff in there. 586 00:29:29,949 --> 00:29:34,113 We have macadamia nut cookies, 587 00:29:34,921 --> 00:29:36,718 the honey mustard pretzels. 588 00:29:36,789 --> 00:29:39,622 Have you ever tried focaccia crisps? 589 00:29:39,692 --> 00:29:41,470 You know we closed our account with you, right? 590 00:29:41,494 --> 00:29:43,519 Yes. We do. We're with Office Depot now. 591 00:29:43,596 --> 00:29:45,223 Yes. Yes. Yes, we know. 592 00:29:45,298 --> 00:29:47,596 But we just have not gotten over you. Well... 593 00:29:47,667 --> 00:29:50,727 And we are dedicated to providing you with the very best customer service... 594 00:29:50,803 --> 00:29:52,134 This is... the very best 595 00:29:52,205 --> 00:29:54,799 personal business relationship... That's exactly right. 596 00:29:54,874 --> 00:29:57,434 We can if you ever decide to come back to us. 597 00:29:57,510 --> 00:29:59,978 Okay. I don't think we're coming back. 598 00:30:00,046 --> 00:30:02,378 Please come back. Okay, you know what? 599 00:30:02,448 --> 00:30:04,177 Just enjoy the gift basket 600 00:30:04,250 --> 00:30:07,742 and remember that we provide a personal touch. 601 00:30:07,820 --> 00:30:09,549 Remember what we had, Larry. 602 00:30:09,622 --> 00:30:11,385 I mean, really, it's about money. 603 00:30:11,457 --> 00:30:13,584 Well, just enjoy the gift basket. 604 00:30:14,294 --> 00:30:15,921 Okay, thanks. All right. 605 00:30:15,995 --> 00:30:17,895 I mean, their website's really easy to use, too. 606 00:30:17,964 --> 00:30:19,693 That's a big deal for us. 607 00:30:20,667 --> 00:30:22,931 That guy was so... 608 00:30:24,170 --> 00:30:26,104 How can they not know how much better we are? 609 00:30:26,172 --> 00:30:28,504 I don't know. Sometimes people are just impossible 610 00:30:28,574 --> 00:30:30,269 and they make you miserable. That is true. 611 00:30:30,343 --> 00:30:31,776 Like Angela in accounting. 612 00:30:31,844 --> 00:30:33,038 Yes. She is nuts. 613 00:30:34,247 --> 00:30:37,011 No, she's wonderful at accounting. 614 00:30:37,583 --> 00:30:39,244 But she drives me crazy. 615 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,579 Make the next right turn. 616 00:30:42,655 --> 00:30:44,953 How do they know? How does this know where to turn? 617 00:30:45,024 --> 00:30:46,651 That's very impressive. 618 00:30:47,293 --> 00:30:48,590 Hey, Pam, 619 00:30:48,661 --> 00:30:51,926 I haven't settled on a final design logo yet for Dunder Mifflin Infinity 620 00:30:51,998 --> 00:30:53,829 and I know you're into graphic design. 621 00:30:53,900 --> 00:30:56,460 Do you want to give it a shot? Maybe try and design the logo. 622 00:30:56,536 --> 00:30:58,197 Totally. Cool. 623 00:30:58,271 --> 00:31:00,102 That would be great. 624 00:31:00,173 --> 00:31:02,300 Can you do a couple mock-ups and I'll take a look? 625 00:31:02,375 --> 00:31:03,433 Yeah. Thank you very much. 626 00:31:03,509 --> 00:31:04,533 Thank you. Cool. 627 00:31:04,610 --> 00:31:05,702 Okay. 628 00:31:11,417 --> 00:31:16,286 Yeah, I'm going to do some mock-ups and then turn those into thumbnails, 629 00:31:16,456 --> 00:31:20,324 maybe do some splash frames... 630 00:31:20,393 --> 00:31:23,294 I don't know what I'm talking about, but I'm excited. 631 00:31:23,663 --> 00:31:27,155 And the last guy says, "No, hairy body." 632 00:31:27,233 --> 00:31:28,666 You know, I have heard it before. 633 00:31:28,735 --> 00:31:31,898 Ah. Well, it's still very good. 634 00:31:33,072 --> 00:31:35,563 I bet I know someone who hasn't heard that joke, 635 00:31:35,641 --> 00:31:37,108 your daughter Emily. 636 00:31:37,176 --> 00:31:38,302 How's she doing? 637 00:31:38,378 --> 00:31:40,812 She's great. Thanks for asking. 638 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,404 Great memory, by the way. 639 00:31:42,482 --> 00:31:44,814 Is she gonna be, like, 11 this winter? 640 00:31:44,884 --> 00:31:47,284 Wow. They grow up so fast. 641 00:31:47,420 --> 00:31:49,945 I have a few of my own that I want someday. 642 00:31:51,591 --> 00:31:53,168 Listen, I don't want to take any more of your time. 643 00:31:53,192 --> 00:31:54,370 I know you're a very busy man. 644 00:31:54,394 --> 00:31:56,862 The reason we have stopped by is to drop you off 645 00:31:56,963 --> 00:32:01,923 this elaborate bag of goodies and to ask you to reconsider. 646 00:32:02,001 --> 00:32:03,400 Okay. 647 00:32:03,469 --> 00:32:05,903 Okay. Okay. So you'll reconsider? 648 00:32:06,205 --> 00:32:07,934 Okay, thanks for the goodies. 649 00:32:08,007 --> 00:32:09,007 Ah. 650 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:16,807 Is that all you have to say? 651 00:32:18,284 --> 00:32:20,411 It looks delicious. I don't know. 652 00:32:20,486 --> 00:32:22,044 You don't know? 653 00:32:23,222 --> 00:32:26,350 Look, we want you back. 654 00:32:27,527 --> 00:32:28,858 Can you offer lower prices? 655 00:32:28,928 --> 00:32:30,088 Well, no. 656 00:32:30,163 --> 00:32:31,407 Well, then, we're not coming back. 657 00:32:31,431 --> 00:32:32,875 He's not coming back. It's over, Michael. 658 00:32:32,899 --> 00:32:34,264 No, it's not. No, he's right. 659 00:32:34,333 --> 00:32:35,925 No. Accept it. Why would he come back? 660 00:32:36,002 --> 00:32:38,493 Why would he come back? I will tell you, Dwight. 661 00:32:38,571 --> 00:32:43,235 He would come back because we offer a wide selection of products, 662 00:32:43,309 --> 00:32:46,155 and because you're definitely not getting the same sort of customer service 663 00:32:46,179 --> 00:32:47,222 that you get with us, are you? 664 00:32:47,246 --> 00:32:48,490 That's not gonna change his mind. 665 00:32:48,514 --> 00:32:51,506 He's moving on. We had our chance and we killed it. 666 00:32:56,756 --> 00:32:57,984 Look. 667 00:33:00,793 --> 00:33:03,660 We're also coming out with a website soon. 668 00:33:03,729 --> 00:33:05,594 It's a state-of-the-art thing. 669 00:33:05,665 --> 00:33:07,656 It'll be up and running. 670 00:33:08,468 --> 00:33:13,371 It's gonna cut costs, and it will make ordering much, much easier. 671 00:33:13,439 --> 00:33:15,805 Okay. Well, when it's up, I'll check it out, 672 00:33:15,875 --> 00:33:18,742 and if it really cuts costs, maybe we'll come back. 673 00:33:19,545 --> 00:33:22,036 Great. The magic of the gift basket. 674 00:33:22,115 --> 00:33:23,742 That I don't care about as much. 675 00:33:23,816 --> 00:33:24,860 Let me know when the site's up. 676 00:33:24,884 --> 00:33:26,977 Okay. Good. 677 00:33:27,753 --> 00:33:31,120 Don't let Emily have any of the Cajun almonds. She's allergic. 678 00:33:33,493 --> 00:33:35,461 Proceed straight. 679 00:33:35,528 --> 00:33:37,519 Well, we're 0 for 6. 680 00:33:37,597 --> 00:33:39,827 Last chance is the Elmhurst Country Club. 681 00:33:40,533 --> 00:33:42,364 Other side of the lake on the southeast side. 682 00:33:42,435 --> 00:33:43,868 I don't get it. 683 00:33:43,936 --> 00:33:46,871 I really don't get it. I thought this would work. 684 00:33:47,306 --> 00:33:49,638 I threw everything I had at that guy and nothing. 685 00:33:49,709 --> 00:33:51,973 That's how it goes sometimes, you know? 686 00:33:52,044 --> 00:33:55,411 You lose everything and everything falls apart 687 00:33:55,481 --> 00:33:57,278 and eventually you die 688 00:33:57,350 --> 00:33:58,578 and no one remembers you. 689 00:33:58,651 --> 00:34:00,141 That is a very good point, Dwight. 690 00:34:00,219 --> 00:34:01,880 Make a right turn. 691 00:34:02,588 --> 00:34:05,955 Wait, wait. No, no, no. It means bear right. 692 00:34:06,025 --> 00:34:08,960 No. It said right. It said take a right. Up there. 693 00:34:09,028 --> 00:34:10,222 No, no, no, look. 694 00:34:10,296 --> 00:34:14,062 It means go up to the right, bear right over the bridge 695 00:34:14,133 --> 00:34:15,157 and hook up with 307. 696 00:34:15,234 --> 00:34:17,112 Make a right turn. Maybe it's a shortcut, Dwight. 697 00:34:17,136 --> 00:34:18,160 It said go to the right. 698 00:34:18,237 --> 00:34:19,261 It can't mean that. 699 00:34:19,338 --> 00:34:20,349 There's a lake there! I think it 700 00:34:20,373 --> 00:34:21,984 knows where it is going. This is the lake! 701 00:34:22,008 --> 00:34:23,252 The machine knows! This is the lake! 702 00:34:23,276 --> 00:34:24,675 Stop yelling at me! No! 703 00:34:24,744 --> 00:34:27,269 Stop yelling! There's no road here! 704 00:34:29,282 --> 00:34:31,546 Remain calm. I have trained for this. 705 00:34:31,918 --> 00:34:33,044 Okay. 706 00:34:33,119 --> 00:34:34,916 Exit the window! Here we go. 707 00:34:34,987 --> 00:34:37,649 Make a U-turn, if possible. 708 00:34:37,723 --> 00:34:39,782 Look out for leeches! 709 00:34:39,859 --> 00:34:42,384 Michael! Are you okay? 710 00:34:42,495 --> 00:34:46,659 Swim for it! I got you. I got you. 711 00:34:47,767 --> 00:34:49,826 Oh, God. 712 00:34:49,902 --> 00:34:51,870 Michael! Michael! 713 00:34:51,938 --> 00:34:53,200 Let go. Let go of me. 714 00:34:53,272 --> 00:34:54,466 Michael. 715 00:34:56,776 --> 00:34:59,267 I got you! I got you! 716 00:34:59,712 --> 00:35:02,442 Come on. Come on. Come on. 717 00:35:04,917 --> 00:35:06,145 Come on. 718 00:35:30,977 --> 00:35:32,376 You sure you're okay? 719 00:35:32,445 --> 00:35:33,776 F'ine. 720 00:35:33,846 --> 00:35:37,145 Good. That is what's most important. 721 00:35:38,017 --> 00:35:40,349 Did you get the rental insurance? 722 00:35:40,586 --> 00:35:43,487 Because that is pretty important, too, at a time like this. 723 00:35:51,397 --> 00:35:53,831 What a disaster. This whole thing. 724 00:35:55,067 --> 00:35:56,659 I'll call a cab. 725 00:35:56,736 --> 00:36:01,435 These people just don't realize what a gift basket means. They don't get it. 726 00:36:01,540 --> 00:36:03,599 Look at that. Still works. Old-fashioned cell phone. 727 00:36:03,676 --> 00:36:06,839 Yeah. What about that last guy, Aaron? 728 00:36:06,912 --> 00:36:10,746 Boy, is he a jerk. I don't even know if I want it. 729 00:36:10,816 --> 00:36:12,977 "Their website is so easy." 730 00:36:13,052 --> 00:36:16,715 Yeah, well, you can have your technology, jackass. 731 00:36:16,789 --> 00:36:17,847 Look where it got us. 732 00:36:17,923 --> 00:36:20,289 Yes, we need a cab at Lake Scranton 733 00:36:20,359 --> 00:36:22,919 at the end of East Mountain Road, in the lake. 734 00:36:22,995 --> 00:36:24,223 Hang up. 735 00:36:24,997 --> 00:36:26,726 You know what we're gonna do? 736 00:36:26,799 --> 00:36:28,460 We're walking back. 737 00:36:28,534 --> 00:36:30,263 We're walking back to that office 738 00:36:30,336 --> 00:36:33,772 and we're going to reclaim our gift basket. 739 00:36:33,839 --> 00:36:36,831 Yes. We're going to take what's rightfully ours. 740 00:36:36,909 --> 00:36:39,104 We're gonna take a stand, Dwight. 741 00:36:40,846 --> 00:36:42,746 We're gonna take a stand! Take a stand! 742 00:36:43,082 --> 00:36:45,394 So it plays on the infinity thing without being obvious, you know? 743 00:36:45,418 --> 00:36:46,942 Yeah. Definitely. 744 00:36:47,019 --> 00:36:48,953 I'd love to do like a color version, 745 00:36:49,021 --> 00:36:51,182 just bring a little color to it. I like it a lot. 746 00:36:51,257 --> 00:36:53,316 It's clear and subtle at the same time. 747 00:36:53,392 --> 00:36:55,986 It's really good. You have a real talent for this stuff. 748 00:36:56,062 --> 00:36:58,622 Thanks. I'd love to talk to you about it more. 749 00:36:58,698 --> 00:36:59,790 That would be great. 750 00:36:59,865 --> 00:37:01,856 Do you want to go out to dinner tonight? 751 00:37:03,135 --> 00:37:04,625 Oh, is it... 752 00:37:04,704 --> 00:37:06,467 Wear something nice. No. 753 00:37:06,539 --> 00:37:07,631 What? 754 00:37:08,107 --> 00:37:09,438 I just... I'm sorry. 755 00:37:09,508 --> 00:37:10,941 I just want to have dinner. 756 00:37:11,277 --> 00:37:13,677 I'm dating Jim. 757 00:37:15,114 --> 00:37:16,604 You're kidding. 758 00:37:20,252 --> 00:37:21,549 We're together. 759 00:37:22,688 --> 00:37:26,624 That's great. I... That's awesome. 760 00:37:26,692 --> 00:37:28,057 Yeah. Great. 761 00:37:32,398 --> 00:37:33,888 So, let me... Yeah. 762 00:37:33,966 --> 00:37:36,161 Let me look at these. Okay. Great. 763 00:37:36,235 --> 00:37:37,634 Cool. Great. 764 00:37:45,611 --> 00:37:49,604 I guess he can't get any girl he wants. 765 00:37:58,958 --> 00:38:01,791 Did you forget something? What happened to you guys? 766 00:38:01,861 --> 00:38:03,294 Give it back. 767 00:38:05,398 --> 00:38:07,025 The gift basket. Give it back. 768 00:38:07,099 --> 00:38:08,157 Oh, what is this? 769 00:38:08,234 --> 00:38:09,428 It's real simple. 770 00:38:09,502 --> 00:38:13,438 If you don't appreciate what we do, then give us back our basket. 771 00:38:13,506 --> 00:38:15,565 Maybe you should leave. 772 00:38:15,641 --> 00:38:17,802 Yeah. Maybe we should... 773 00:38:17,877 --> 00:38:20,004 Maybe we should leave. Come on, let's leave. 774 00:38:20,079 --> 00:38:21,171 But before we leave, 775 00:38:21,247 --> 00:38:26,014 my wet friend and I are gonna wait for our cabs on your nice couches. 776 00:38:26,085 --> 00:38:29,282 Can you call us a cab, please? I'm gonna... Sorry. 777 00:38:29,355 --> 00:38:31,084 My clothes are so wet. 778 00:38:31,157 --> 00:38:32,522 Nice leather. 779 00:38:32,591 --> 00:38:35,059 Oh, my shoes are so muddy. 780 00:38:35,161 --> 00:38:37,721 All right, here you go. Take it back. 781 00:38:37,797 --> 00:38:39,424 It's been opened. Yeah, it was mine. 782 00:38:39,498 --> 00:38:42,899 What's missing? The turtles. 783 00:38:43,202 --> 00:38:44,246 Summer sausage. Where are the turtles? 784 00:38:44,270 --> 00:38:46,314 Where are the turtles? Come on, guys, get out of here. 785 00:38:46,338 --> 00:38:51,105 Where are the turtles? Where are they? 786 00:38:51,177 --> 00:38:52,287 Excuse me, I have an announcement to make. 787 00:38:52,311 --> 00:38:55,280 We seem to be missing a box of chocolate turtles with pecans 788 00:38:55,347 --> 00:38:57,907 and we will not be leaving the premises until we obtain them. 789 00:38:57,983 --> 00:39:01,419 Hand over the turtles now! 790 00:39:02,021 --> 00:39:04,956 I ate them, okay? I ate the turtles. They're gone. 791 00:39:18,270 --> 00:39:19,794 We'll bill you. 792 00:39:23,209 --> 00:39:25,143 May I have your attention, please? 793 00:39:25,211 --> 00:39:29,204 This office will not be using any new technology ever. 794 00:39:29,281 --> 00:39:31,408 Starting now. That is not correct. 795 00:39:31,484 --> 00:39:35,921 Ryan thinks that technology is the answer. Well, guess what? 796 00:39:35,988 --> 00:39:37,956 I just drove my car into a lake. 797 00:39:38,023 --> 00:39:39,217 You did what? 798 00:39:39,291 --> 00:39:43,352 I drove my car into a lake. 799 00:39:44,630 --> 00:39:47,463 Why, you may ask, did I do this? 800 00:39:47,533 --> 00:39:49,763 Well, because of a machine. 801 00:39:49,835 --> 00:39:54,397 A machine told me to drive into a lake. And I did it. 802 00:39:54,473 --> 00:39:58,876 I did it because I trusted Ryan's precious technology. 803 00:39:58,944 --> 00:40:00,070 And look where it got me. 804 00:40:00,145 --> 00:40:01,169 Into a lake. 805 00:40:01,247 --> 00:40:02,271 Exactly. 806 00:40:02,348 --> 00:40:04,316 Did you get any clients back? 807 00:40:04,517 --> 00:40:06,542 Maybe. Maybe not. 808 00:40:06,619 --> 00:40:07,916 Time will tell. 809 00:40:08,587 --> 00:40:11,351 But I will tell you one thing, those gift baskets 810 00:40:11,423 --> 00:40:14,085 never endangered anybody's lives. 811 00:40:17,963 --> 00:40:19,590 Game, set, match. 812 00:40:21,133 --> 00:40:24,762 Point. Scott. Game over. 813 00:40:27,039 --> 00:40:28,267 End of game. 814 00:40:39,285 --> 00:40:42,220 Everyone always wants new things. 815 00:40:42,755 --> 00:40:46,657 Everybody likes new inventions, new technology. 816 00:40:47,192 --> 00:40:49,990 People will never be replaced by machines. 817 00:40:50,062 --> 00:40:54,328 In the end, life and business are about human connections. 818 00:40:55,568 --> 00:40:59,732 And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake. 819 00:41:00,539 --> 00:41:02,734 And to me the choice is easy. 820 00:41:05,778 --> 00:41:10,272 I'm not saying I had a meteoric rise, but I did. 821 00:41:10,983 --> 00:41:14,851 And if they knew how much I was paying for my haircut now, 822 00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:17,115 they wouldn't be giving me a noogie. 823 00:41:18,324 --> 00:41:19,655 It was $200. 823 00:41:20,305 --> 00:42:20,825 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/xtep Help other users to choose the best subtitles