1
00:00:07,655 --> 00:00:08,935
What's wrong, Michael?

2
00:00:09,055 --> 00:00:10,639
I got gum in my hair.

3
00:00:10,799 --> 00:00:13,183
- You do.
- This just...

4
00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:15,966
stinks. Don't touch it.
Please, don't touch it!

5
00:00:16,086 --> 00:00:17,979
- You got a ton of dandruff.
- Okay, let me be.

6
00:00:18,139 --> 00:00:19,105
How'd you do?

7
00:00:19,265 --> 00:00:21,781
I was walking in and I noticed
something shiny under Stanley's car.

8
00:00:21,901 --> 00:00:26,043
And I gone under seeing what it was
and I messed up my hair.

9
00:00:26,163 --> 00:00:27,989
All for a stupid piece of tinfoil.

10
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,492
But, best-case scenario,
you thought it was a quarter.

11
00:00:30,652 --> 00:00:32,118
Kill me, right now.

12
00:00:32,278 --> 00:00:34,321
We have peanut butter
in the kitchen.

13
00:00:34,638 --> 00:00:37,206
I don't feel like peanut butter.
Get me an ice cream sandwich.

14
00:00:37,367 --> 00:00:40,585
Nope, not for you, it's for your hair.
And it's 9:00 AM.

15
00:00:41,658 --> 00:00:44,256
Dwight, not the good peanut butter...
People are gonna get mad.

16
00:00:45,369 --> 00:00:47,132
This is my hair
we're talking about.

17
00:00:49,631 --> 00:00:50,681
Smells good.

18
00:00:52,550 --> 00:00:55,298
- Taste good, too.
- Oh, don't, that's disgusting.

19
00:00:55,690 --> 00:00:57,182
Lot of calories.

20
00:00:57,556 --> 00:00:59,516
Well, just don't leave it on
too long.

21
00:00:59,898 --> 00:01:01,761
Keep massaging, please.

22
00:01:03,370 --> 00:01:04,743
Yeah, that's nice.

23
00:01:14,070 --> 00:01:16,705
Transcript: SwSub
Sync: DarKsh

24
00:01:35,631 --> 00:01:37,392
Episode 4x11
"NIGHT OUT" (1.00)

25
00:01:40,528 --> 00:01:42,678
Hey, Michael,
how was your date last night?

26
00:01:44,285 --> 00:01:47,435
I will be honest.
The dating has not been going well.

27
00:01:47,555 --> 00:01:48,560
Look...

28
00:01:49,404 --> 00:01:51,084
Men are visual creatures.

29
00:01:51,628 --> 00:01:54,159
We...
crave beauty.

30
00:01:54,474 --> 00:01:57,907
Like a piece of fine art by...

31
00:01:59,398 --> 00:02:02,038
any number of renowned artists.

32
00:02:02,158 --> 00:02:05,777
Or an arty photograph...

33
00:02:06,176 --> 00:02:07,826
of Cindy Crawford nude.

34
00:02:08,109 --> 00:02:11,284
That, but the women
I'm getting fixed up with are...

35
00:02:12,622 --> 00:02:14,226
Not that they aren't nice

36
00:02:14,346 --> 00:02:17,422
or that have great personalities.

37
00:02:17,542 --> 00:02:20,500
They just...
They just lack a certain...

38
00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:21,891
Crawfordness.

39
00:02:22,477 --> 00:02:25,023
I am livid.
Absolutely livid.

40
00:02:25,390 --> 00:02:26,398
It's ridiculous.

41
00:02:26,618 --> 00:02:29,272
Yes, I'm having the Scranton branch
come in on one saturday

42
00:02:29,392 --> 00:02:31,629
so they can reenter sales
that they made on the phone,

43
00:02:31,749 --> 00:02:34,891
as sales made by the website, which they
should've done in the first place...

44
00:02:35,011 --> 00:02:36,617
If the website had been working.

45
00:02:39,949 --> 00:02:41,285
My favorite branch.

46
00:02:41,782 --> 00:02:43,317
How's everybody doin'?

47
00:02:43,610 --> 00:02:45,288
Man, you mind
if I run something by you?

48
00:02:45,408 --> 00:02:46,711
Love it! Go.

49
00:02:47,236 --> 00:02:51,330
Well, I kind of feel like what we had
going for us is our customer service.

50
00:02:51,597 --> 00:02:53,719
And no matter
how much we change this up,

51
00:02:53,908 --> 00:02:56,388
I don't know that a website's
gonna be able to replace that.

52
00:02:56,549 --> 00:02:58,723
I can tell you've thought about this.
I appreciate that.

53
00:02:58,883 --> 00:03:00,865
- Thanks.
- David Wallace does too.

54
00:03:00,985 --> 00:03:03,692
You told him all about this
at the Christmas party, right?

55
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,191
- I... I don't...
- You did, yeah.

56
00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:12,098
Watch your back, Jim.

57
00:03:13,344 --> 00:03:14,596
I'm just kidding.

58
00:03:18,237 --> 00:03:20,793
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have your attention please?

59
00:03:20,913 --> 00:03:23,456
I know that a lot of you
are very angry with Ryan

60
00:03:23,616 --> 00:03:27,265
because he's the reason we've to come in
tomorrow. However, I swear to God,

61
00:03:27,385 --> 00:03:30,397
if any of you hurts him in any way,

62
00:03:30,517 --> 00:03:32,423
emotionally, or taunts him

63
00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:36,219
or makes fun of his height
or his half-beard...

64
00:03:36,379 --> 00:03:38,306
Okay.
Thanks, Michael.

65
00:03:38,688 --> 00:03:39,763
I'm here today

66
00:03:39,883 --> 00:03:42,516
to do some creative problem solving
about Dunder-Mifflin Infiny

67
00:03:42,899 --> 00:03:44,603
- and fill in your questions.
- Question.

68
00:03:45,681 --> 00:03:49,231
Why am I being forced to pretend
a website made sales that I made?

69
00:03:49,392 --> 00:03:52,318
This is a temporary measure
to increase the legitimacy of the site.

70
00:03:52,538 --> 00:03:54,204
I don't like when my clients call me

71
00:03:54,324 --> 00:03:56,781
to help them use the website.
I'm not seeing commissions on that.

72
00:03:56,950 --> 00:03:59,199
I hear you, Stanley.
That is a great observation.

73
00:03:59,649 --> 00:04:01,452
Problems like that will not happen

74
00:04:01,614 --> 00:04:04,372
when we'll launch
Dunder-Mifflin Infiny 2.0.

75
00:04:04,533 --> 00:04:06,060
- When will that be?
- TBD.

76
00:04:06,832 --> 00:04:08,709
Did the police solve
the problem with...

77
00:04:08,871 --> 00:04:10,669
Yes, yes, they did.
Yes, they did.

78
00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:14,985
Yes, the social networking feature
of the Dunder-Mifflin Infinity website

79
00:04:15,105 --> 00:04:17,606
was infiltrated by sexual predators.

80
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,550
I don't understand why our website
needs to have social networking at all.

81
00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:22,431
I've to agree with Dwight
on that one.

82
00:04:22,592 --> 00:04:26,088
It's all about creating
a one-stop consumer experience.

83
00:04:26,208 --> 00:04:28,062
All right? You're chatting
with your friends,

84
00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:30,982
you're talking about the latest music.
About the election.

85
00:04:31,243 --> 00:04:35,420
All of it is happening
in our virtual paper store.

86
00:04:35,540 --> 00:04:38,101
And then an older gentleman
asks you, "boxers or briefs?"

87
00:04:38,221 --> 00:04:40,558
I don't get the big fuss here.
I like the site.

88
00:04:40,678 --> 00:04:43,786
If I had created a website with
this many problems, I'd kill myself.

89
00:04:44,063 --> 00:04:46,346
- You've a question, Kelly?
- I've a lot of questions.

90
00:04:46,466 --> 00:04:48,068
Number one: how dare you?

91
00:04:51,644 --> 00:04:53,254
Ryan has done a very good job.

92
00:04:53,568 --> 00:04:56,829
And I'm not applauding...
sarcastically.

93
00:04:57,354 --> 00:04:59,000
Think about it.
A month ago,

94
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,263
nobody would go on this site
because we were worried

95
00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:05,225
out getting molested or loosing
our identity, having it stolen.

96
00:05:05,834 --> 00:05:06,893
But now,

97
00:05:07,053 --> 00:05:09,523
at a time TDB,

98
00:05:10,081 --> 00:05:12,273
all of these problems
will be in the past.

99
00:05:12,482 --> 00:05:13,692
You done good, kid.

100
00:05:13,853 --> 00:05:15,043
You done good.

101
00:05:19,668 --> 00:05:21,853
Well, it has been nice
seeing you again, my friend.

102
00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:23,101
You too.

103
00:05:24,942 --> 00:05:27,330
Oh, Ryan, I need a girlfriend so bad.

104
00:05:27,490 --> 00:05:28,869
Michael, let me go.

105
00:05:28,989 --> 00:05:30,187
Let me go, Michael.

106
00:05:30,307 --> 00:05:31,307
All right.

107
00:05:32,121 --> 00:05:34,218
Do you know many girls
in New-York you might...

108
00:05:34,338 --> 00:05:36,787
wanna hook me up with
that might be interested in a...

109
00:05:36,907 --> 00:05:38,216
guy like me?

110
00:05:38,582 --> 00:05:39,790
- Nah.
- Nah.

111
00:05:39,910 --> 00:05:41,510
- Sorry, man
- Well, you tried.

112
00:05:41,672 --> 00:05:42,937
But, seriously...

113
00:05:43,057 --> 00:05:45,682
You should see the girls
I meet at clubs in the city.

114
00:05:46,169 --> 00:05:47,980
- Unreal.
- They sound great.

115
00:05:48,887 --> 00:05:50,037
Bye, everyone!

116
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:52,105
Stay real, Scranton, all right?

117
00:05:52,464 --> 00:05:53,391
Peace!

118
00:05:55,711 --> 00:05:58,110
- Would you have sex with Meredith?
- What?

119
00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:00,920
- Do you think she'd keep it quiet?
- I'm gonna go to my desk.

120
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,962
Jim, it's not the horniness, okay?

121
00:06:03,082 --> 00:06:04,951
It's the loneliness.
That's...

122
00:06:05,197 --> 00:06:06,202
I know.

123
00:06:06,581 --> 00:06:09,331
- Let's go to New-York club with Ryan.
- I can't.

124
00:06:09,491 --> 00:06:11,833
You can. You're single, I'm single.
It'll be awesome.

125
00:06:11,993 --> 00:06:13,793
- I'm not single.
- Who are you dating?

126
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:17,172
- Pam.
- That's still going on?

127
00:06:21,015 --> 00:06:23,055
Okay, Dwight, grab your stuff.

128
00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:25,707
We're going to New-York,
to party with Ryan and to meet girls.

129
00:06:25,827 --> 00:06:27,200
- Yeah!
- Oh, yes.

130
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:31,085
Count me in, dudes.
I am in serious need of some bro'time.

131
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:35,219
Old ball and chain's been
a lot more chain than ball lately,

132
00:06:35,339 --> 00:06:37,275
- if you know what I'm saying.
- I'm right here.

133
00:06:37,435 --> 00:06:39,402
No, singles only.
Singles only.

134
00:06:39,522 --> 00:06:40,996
Also three is unlucky.

135
00:06:41,940 --> 00:06:43,399
- Curse of three.
- Sorry, Andy.

136
00:06:43,519 --> 00:06:45,283
Cannot take any chances on curses.

137
00:06:45,443 --> 00:06:48,488
Let's go. Everybody, I will see you
tomorrow, saturday morning.

138
00:06:48,738 --> 00:06:51,759
Probably wearing the same clothes
that I'm wearing right now.

139
00:06:52,117 --> 00:06:54,141
If you catch my drift.

140
00:06:54,261 --> 00:06:55,301
We get it.

141
00:06:55,421 --> 00:06:56,923
I am going...

142
00:06:57,574 --> 00:06:58,713
to go get laid.

143
00:06:58,874 --> 00:06:59,877
Good-bye!

144
00:07:00,756 --> 00:07:01,848
With sex!

145
00:07:04,737 --> 00:07:08,011
You know what? If we stay 2 hours late
tonight without Michael distracting us,

146
00:07:08,131 --> 00:07:10,016
we wouldn't have
to come in all tomorrow.

147
00:07:11,830 --> 00:07:15,143
So I caught everyone before they left,
and I told them my idea.

148
00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:16,591
And they loved it.

149
00:07:16,711 --> 00:07:19,572
Because this is a group
that respects good ideas.

150
00:07:20,461 --> 00:07:22,611
The one time a year they hear one.

151
00:07:25,642 --> 00:07:27,555
Ryan's assistant told us

152
00:07:27,675 --> 00:07:30,490
that he would be
at this club this evening.

153
00:07:30,610 --> 00:07:32,246
It is called Prerogative.

154
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:38,472
This place is packed!

155
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:39,642
Fire hazard.

156
00:07:40,286 --> 00:07:41,406
Packed with...

157
00:07:41,864 --> 00:07:43,394
beautiful babies!

158
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,982
<i>Swingers</i>.
Classic.

159
00:07:46,776 --> 00:07:50,109
Jon Favreau,
tall guy from <i>Dodgeball</i>.

160
00:07:50,903 --> 00:07:52,350
Women look like white slaves.

161
00:07:52,511 --> 00:07:54,577
No, they're just hot.
Hotties.

162
00:07:54,697 --> 00:07:57,731
I don't know. When you think about it,
Cabo is really the third world.

163
00:07:57,891 --> 00:08:00,409
I don't go to a place like that
to see more poverty, you know?

164
00:08:00,529 --> 00:08:02,195
You go there to get some glamour...

165
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,919
- What are you doin' here?
- Well, you know,

166
00:08:07,039 --> 00:08:09,144
just taking you up
on your offer to party so...

167
00:08:10,487 --> 00:08:11,952
That is so awesome, man!

168
00:08:12,072 --> 00:08:13,088
All right!

169
00:08:13,518 --> 00:08:15,873
- And you brought this guy!
- Yeah!

170
00:08:19,352 --> 00:08:20,712
Ryan, it's Michael and Dwight.

171
00:08:20,873 --> 00:08:23,692
I know it's you guys!
I'm so psyched you're here.

172
00:08:23,812 --> 00:08:24,812
Well...

173
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:26,628
All right!

174
00:08:27,157 --> 00:08:29,317
- Let's get a drink!
- Let's do it!

175
00:08:35,923 --> 00:08:37,864
Thanks a lot, guys!
Good job!

176
00:08:40,897 --> 00:08:41,898
Later.

177
00:08:42,018 --> 00:08:43,468
Nice job, everybody.

178
00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:44,802
Great work.

179
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:54,210
Did you not tell the security guard
we were working late?

180
00:08:54,555 --> 00:08:55,555
Nope.

181
00:08:56,309 --> 00:08:57,309
I didn't.

182
00:08:57,873 --> 00:09:00,703
Then let's go inside
and I can call him right now.

183
00:09:00,823 --> 00:09:03,546
We can't. I locked the office
from the inside when we left.

184
00:09:03,708 --> 00:09:06,377
Perfect.
You guys worked together on this one.

185
00:09:06,776 --> 00:09:11,026
If I'm not in my bath with a glass
of red wine in 1 hour, you're both dead.

186
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:18,390
There is a master key
and a spare key for the office.

187
00:09:19,173 --> 00:09:20,723
Dwight has them both.

188
00:09:21,290 --> 00:09:24,915
When I asked, "what if you die, Dwight?
How will we get into the office?"

189
00:09:25,035 --> 00:09:28,439
He said, "if I'm dead, you guys
have been dead for weeks."

190
00:09:29,274 --> 00:09:32,575
Guys, I want you to meet a really
good friend of mine. This is Troy.

191
00:09:32,735 --> 00:09:34,618
- Nice to meet you.
- How're you doing?

192
00:09:34,779 --> 00:09:36,272
Hi. Dwight.

193
00:09:36,715 --> 00:09:38,643
You resemble the Tolkien character.

194
00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:41,543
He basically is, man.
He's a regular banking wizard.

195
00:09:41,703 --> 00:09:43,628
No, no, not a wizard.
A hobbit.

196
00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:46,471
Model's service's here.

197
00:09:46,893 --> 00:09:48,800
Okay...
All I know is

198
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,844
I would like some chicken fingers
and a Midori Sour.

199
00:09:52,006 --> 00:09:53,680
We don't serve food here.

200
00:09:54,137 --> 00:09:56,907
Okay. Then...
just bring me two cups,

201
00:09:57,027 --> 00:10:00,896
one with olives, and another one
filled with maraschino cherries.

202
00:10:02,906 --> 00:10:04,523
Do you live
in a regular-sized house?

203
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:08,069
Yeah, he's a normal guy.
He's cool.

204
00:10:08,229 --> 00:10:09,680
You really don't have his number?

205
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:12,033
I told you
I have the number that rings here.

206
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,366
Do you want that number?

207
00:10:13,526 --> 00:10:14,940
I might have it in here.

208
00:10:15,296 --> 00:10:16,846
Wow, that's great, Toby.

209
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:18,788
It's so random that I have it.

210
00:10:18,949 --> 00:10:20,289
Toby, you're the best!

211
00:10:20,451 --> 00:10:23,627
When I put it in, I thought it might be
a waste of time but it was worth it.

212
00:10:23,787 --> 00:10:26,144
Great. It's under here
as "security guard - home".

213
00:10:26,264 --> 00:10:27,546
Did you not get his name...

214
00:10:27,708 --> 00:10:28,517
No.

215
00:10:28,637 --> 00:10:30,466
It's ringing...
Anybody have his name, quick?

216
00:10:30,628 --> 00:10:31,550
It's Eddie.

217
00:10:31,914 --> 00:10:33,886
It's not... It's not Eddie.
It's Evan or...

218
00:10:34,048 --> 00:10:35,380
Hank.
His name is Hank.

219
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:37,973
No, guys, his name is not Hank, it's...
Is it Hedgar?

220
00:10:38,134 --> 00:10:39,142
Elliot.

221
00:10:39,302 --> 00:10:41,384
Is it Elliot?
Hey... Chief.

222
00:10:41,825 --> 00:10:45,231
This is Jim Halpert from...
where you work.

223
00:10:45,900 --> 00:10:50,170
You're the guy who sits behind the desk.
You're the...

224
00:10:50,690 --> 00:10:52,446
the african-american guy.

225
00:10:52,671 --> 00:10:54,173
I mean, you're...

226
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,367
Who have I got here?

227
00:10:56,807 --> 00:10:59,455
Dwight Schrute, man.
How're Schrute farms?

228
00:10:59,688 --> 00:11:01,039
- Good.
- This guy

229
00:11:01,199 --> 00:11:02,832
owns his own beet farm.

230
00:11:02,952 --> 00:11:03,874
Insane!

231
00:11:04,074 --> 00:11:06,085
Well, it's weevil season,
but we were prepared.

232
00:11:06,247 --> 00:11:08,922
"Weevil"...
What a crazy word, man.

233
00:11:09,042 --> 00:11:11,494
I don't even know what that means?
What does that mean?

234
00:11:11,614 --> 00:11:13,987
They lay their eggs
inside the unripe beetroot,

235
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:16,136
then, come springtime,
the babies eat their way out.

236
00:11:16,297 --> 00:11:17,647
- Crazy!
- Crazy!

237
00:11:18,526 --> 00:11:21,017
That's too much for me, man.
I'm gonna head to the bathroom.

238
00:11:21,339 --> 00:11:24,144
- You've already been several times.
- Yeah?

239
00:11:24,306 --> 00:11:26,732
- Maybe you got a bladder infection.
- I don't know. Maybe.

240
00:11:27,060 --> 00:11:29,777
- I'll order you some cranberry juice.
- With vodka. You're the best!

241
00:11:32,537 --> 00:11:34,281
Do you have powers?

242
00:11:34,442 --> 00:11:35,615
Oh, thank you, Hank.

243
00:11:35,776 --> 00:11:37,500
You are a lifesaver, Hank.

244
00:11:37,620 --> 00:11:38,731
Appreciate it.

245
00:11:38,851 --> 00:11:42,038
All right, so Hank is gonna come
down here. He's gonna let us all out.

246
00:11:42,322 --> 00:11:44,793
He said it should be
just under an hour, so...

247
00:11:45,903 --> 00:11:46,907
We did it.

248
00:11:47,027 --> 00:11:49,628
We should all make sure
to give him a big tip this Christmas.

249
00:11:49,857 --> 00:11:53,004
Sorry, guys, but I don't think
I tipped him for last year's.

250
00:11:53,124 --> 00:11:54,376
Neither did I.

251
00:11:54,836 --> 00:11:56,886
Jim was supposed to collect it.

252
00:11:59,439 --> 00:12:02,016
- Way to go, man.
- Now he's never gonna come.

253
00:12:02,178 --> 00:12:05,697
By show of hands, who thinks
we're a better couple than Jim and Pam?

254
00:12:09,098 --> 00:12:10,099
Phyllis...

255
00:12:12,394 --> 00:12:16,523
I... thought about getting a tatoo
on my back as well, at one point.

256
00:12:16,643 --> 00:12:18,782
I was thinking about getting
<i>Back to the Future</i>.

257
00:12:19,365 --> 00:12:21,575
"Back" because it's on my back.

258
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:26,123
And "future" because I'm the kind of guy
who likes to look ahead into the future.

259
00:12:26,657 --> 00:12:28,751
I just think a tattoo
should mean something.

260
00:12:28,871 --> 00:12:31,296
You know?
And it's my second-favorite movie.

261
00:12:31,456 --> 00:12:32,881
I've never heard of that movie.

262
00:12:33,042 --> 00:12:34,501
<i>Back to the Future</i>?!

263
00:12:36,534 --> 00:12:38,886
Well, you should take
a film education course.

264
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:42,474
- How old are you?
- 40... I'm in my 40s.

265
00:12:44,390 --> 00:12:45,602
That's so cool.

266
00:12:45,762 --> 00:12:46,769
Yeah.

267
00:12:47,278 --> 00:12:49,189
Well, I'm gonna go back
to my group now.

268
00:12:49,349 --> 00:12:50,536
Oh, okay.

269
00:12:50,656 --> 00:12:53,001
- Thanks for the drink.
- You're welcome.

270
00:12:58,230 --> 00:13:00,616
This place is like a...
like a sexy preschool.

271
00:13:00,777 --> 00:13:02,409
You wanted to meet older women?

272
00:13:02,570 --> 00:13:04,828
I would love a place
where we can meet older girls.

273
00:13:05,165 --> 00:13:06,167
Hell, yeah!

274
00:13:06,924 --> 00:13:08,140
I'll hook it up!

275
00:13:09,699 --> 00:13:10,919
That's dangerous.

276
00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:20,439
Excuse me.

277
00:13:20,753 --> 00:13:21,755
Yeah?

278
00:13:22,140 --> 00:13:23,983
How did you find each other?

279
00:13:24,843 --> 00:13:27,893
We're the Jersey Varsity basketball
team. North east regional champs.

280
00:13:30,939 --> 00:13:32,123
Amazons!

281
00:13:33,633 --> 00:13:35,137
It's off. It's not the dude I know.

282
00:13:35,257 --> 00:13:37,391
But some other loser
who won't let us in without chicks.

283
00:13:37,511 --> 00:13:38,957
- You're kidding.
- Let's bail.

284
00:13:39,077 --> 00:13:40,095
Wait, wait.

285
00:13:40,215 --> 00:13:42,409
You two, uh, Jersey state girls,
let's go.

286
00:13:42,570 --> 00:13:44,415
We're not going
unless we can all go.

287
00:13:44,535 --> 00:13:45,995
Okay, you know what?
Fine.

288
00:13:46,157 --> 00:13:48,345
Let's go, two girls to a guy.
Come on, let's do it.

289
00:13:48,465 --> 00:13:50,007
Come on, Ryan.
Move out!

290
00:13:50,127 --> 00:13:53,677
Okay, three or four with him.
Let's go, come on. Here we go.

291
00:13:53,797 --> 00:13:55,110
Don't step on him.

292
00:13:57,322 --> 00:13:59,422
Hey, look what I found in the back.

293
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,093
Wanna play?
Teach you to throw.

294
00:14:01,255 --> 00:14:03,596
- I know how to throw a football.
- Of course you do.

295
00:14:03,758 --> 00:14:05,308
Yeah, Pam!
Hip me up!

296
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:06,558
Go long!

297
00:14:13,507 --> 00:14:14,547
There you go.

298
00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:16,640
Wait a minute. What is this?
I didn't order this.

299
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:18,778
It's for you.
From them.

300
00:14:24,152 --> 00:14:25,577
What are you doing, man?

301
00:14:25,737 --> 00:14:28,192
It's not safe.
Anything could have been in there.

302
00:14:28,312 --> 00:14:29,699
Nice try!

303
00:14:29,992 --> 00:14:31,643
I've never met anybody
who does that.

304
00:14:31,763 --> 00:14:33,710
You wash dogs?
Very cool.

305
00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:36,379
That's one aspect of small pet grooming.
What do you do?

306
00:14:36,926 --> 00:14:38,256
I am a bank teller.

307
00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:41,667
Ryan told me to always tell
a woman you work in finance.

308
00:14:42,035 --> 00:14:44,386
- Cool.
- I think so. Yeah, I have fun.

309
00:14:44,548 --> 00:14:46,430
I'm just gonna use the powder room.

310
00:14:46,591 --> 00:14:48,349
- All right.
- So I'll see you soon.

311
00:14:48,511 --> 00:14:49,661
Very perfect.

312
00:14:57,701 --> 00:15:00,390
This... needs to be shared.

313
00:15:20,698 --> 00:15:22,008
She washes dogs!

314
00:15:22,168 --> 00:15:23,468
- You doin' it.
- I know!

315
00:15:23,628 --> 00:15:25,966
I don't wanna get
ahead of myself, but...

316
00:15:26,488 --> 00:15:27,973
I think I want her to meet my mom.

317
00:15:28,289 --> 00:15:29,350
Hey, man...

318
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:32,323
Do you ever think there's gonna be
this massive nuclear holocaust?

319
00:15:32,443 --> 00:15:34,288
And after all the major
nations are destroyed,

320
00:15:34,408 --> 00:15:37,073
there'll just be tribes in the jungles
that rise up and survive?

321
00:15:37,193 --> 00:15:39,108
That jungle warfare
is gonna rule the world?

322
00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:41,815
Yeah, maybe.

323
00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:52,620
It's inevitable, right?

324
00:15:54,492 --> 00:15:56,047
Please don't pick up.

325
00:15:56,167 --> 00:15:57,676
- <i>Hello?</i>
- Hank...

326
00:15:58,141 --> 00:15:59,751
- Is that you?
- <i>Yeah.</i>

327
00:16:00,386 --> 00:16:03,266
- Still haven't left the house yet, huh?
- <i>I'm getting ready to leave.</i>

328
00:16:03,386 --> 00:16:05,385
Good.
Please hurry.

329
00:16:05,835 --> 00:16:07,970
<i>Stop calling me so I can
put on my damn socks.</i>

330
00:16:08,479 --> 00:16:09,479
Will do.

331
00:16:09,978 --> 00:16:11,328
I'll stop calling.

332
00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:14,875
I am.

333
00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:16,895
I am getting out there.

334
00:16:17,399 --> 00:16:20,025
Well, no, I've asked
a lot of girls to dance, mom.

335
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:21,483
They're just...
It's not...

336
00:16:23,133 --> 00:16:24,613
Listen to me for a second.

337
00:16:25,314 --> 00:16:27,299
Yes, I shaved the back of my neck.

338
00:16:27,942 --> 00:16:29,550
Oh, my god.
Mom, I gotta go.

339
00:16:29,670 --> 00:16:31,937
One of my friends is getting
beaten up by some girls!

340
00:16:32,738 --> 00:16:36,291
Actually, it's kind of too bad
we're not coming into work tomorrow.

341
00:16:36,451 --> 00:16:37,325
Why?

342
00:16:37,619 --> 00:16:40,145
I bet Michael had some
elaborate theme party planned,

343
00:16:40,265 --> 00:16:42,004
like scrambled egg saturday.

344
00:16:43,374 --> 00:16:46,279
More like, "Hey, everyone,
let's get your boss laid" saturday.

345
00:16:56,887 --> 00:16:58,911
I have an announcement...

346
00:16:59,834 --> 00:17:00,835
to make.

347
00:17:01,032 --> 00:17:04,511
I...
am moving to Costa Rica.

348
00:17:05,019 --> 00:17:06,365
Thought about it...

349
00:17:06,485 --> 00:17:08,301
for a long time now.

350
00:17:08,702 --> 00:17:10,075
And I'm finally gonna do it.

351
00:17:12,136 --> 00:17:13,144
So...

352
00:17:13,936 --> 00:17:16,741
I'm just gonna hop the fence
and jog home then.

353
00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:35,582
- Those girls really welled on you bad.
- Why wouldn't they let me dance?

354
00:17:35,702 --> 00:17:37,018
Okay, I gotta go.

355
00:17:37,203 --> 00:17:39,153
Do not take him to a hospital.

356
00:17:41,765 --> 00:17:44,359
- Pretty weird.
- Do you have to go with them?

357
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:45,726
I do, I have to go.

358
00:17:45,846 --> 00:17:47,236
- Stay, please.
- Okay, no.

359
00:17:47,397 --> 00:17:49,446
I have to go.
Good luck against Con-college.

360
00:17:49,608 --> 00:17:50,572
Call me.

361
00:17:51,854 --> 00:17:53,100
I'm not gonna call her.

362
00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:55,411
- I don't wanna go back in.
- I know. Here we go.

363
00:18:00,243 --> 00:18:02,090
Cleaning people.
Oscar?

364
00:18:05,286 --> 00:18:08,448
All you need is explain what happened
'cause I think they can help us.

365
00:18:08,568 --> 00:18:10,719
Why are you assuming
they only speak spanish?

366
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:13,107
I just...
If they speak spanish.

367
00:18:13,903 --> 00:18:15,149
Good evening.

368
00:18:15,269 --> 00:18:16,797
We locked ourselves in.

369
00:18:22,075 --> 00:18:24,481
Okay?
It happens they speak spanish.

370
00:18:24,810 --> 00:18:25,810
Lucky us.

371
00:18:30,436 --> 00:18:32,899
This is a one time thing.
You know that, right?

372
00:18:34,269 --> 00:18:36,141
- This is it.
- All right!

373
00:18:36,261 --> 00:18:37,876
This is where the magic happens.

374
00:18:37,996 --> 00:18:39,539
- Nice!
- Very nice.

375
00:18:39,659 --> 00:18:42,378
One of you can have the sofa,
and one of you can have the floor.

376
00:18:42,498 --> 00:18:43,975
- I got the sofa.
- I got sofa.

377
00:18:44,095 --> 00:18:46,012
Dwight, I got up the sofa...
I'm the boss.

378
00:18:46,132 --> 00:18:48,513
- I got floor!
- If anybody needs to go to the bathroom

379
00:18:48,633 --> 00:18:50,505
I don't wanna get
my head stepped up.

380
00:18:50,625 --> 00:18:52,878
Do you want me to sing you a song
my mother used to sing me

381
00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:54,683
- when we were sick?
- No.

382
00:18:59,747 --> 00:19:01,871
- Leave him alone.
- It's a lullaby.

383
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:03,559
Ryan?

384
00:19:03,787 --> 00:19:06,310
- Why don't you take your clothes off?
- No!

385
00:19:09,067 --> 00:19:10,070
Guys...

386
00:19:11,587 --> 00:19:14,352
I think my friend Troy
might have a drug problem.

387
00:19:15,203 --> 00:19:16,283
What do I do?

388
00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:19,951
I think his species might have
a higher tolerance than ours.

389
00:19:22,539 --> 00:19:23,869
Here's what you do.

390
00:19:24,975 --> 00:19:29,031
You tell him that you're his friend,
and that you're going to help him,

391
00:19:29,151 --> 00:19:31,215
and that everything's
gonna be all right.

392
00:19:33,507 --> 00:19:35,445
And then you put a wire on him...

393
00:19:35,882 --> 00:19:38,532
and you find out
who's selling him... drugs.

394
00:19:39,155 --> 00:19:41,935
And then you get that guy
and you flip him.

395
00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:44,843
You turn him into a snitch.
You follow that guy...

396
00:19:45,145 --> 00:19:47,805
to the people really, really bad.

397
00:19:48,163 --> 00:19:51,486
I've been watching <i>The Wire</i> recently...
I don't understand a word of it.

398
00:19:52,029 --> 00:19:52,988
I wanna sleep.

399
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,823
You can leave the light on if you want,
but please stop talking, okay?

400
00:19:56,699 --> 00:19:58,415
Okay.
Good night, Ryan.

401
00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:00,180
Good night, Ryan.

402
00:20:03,292 --> 00:20:05,114
Best night ever.

403
00:20:05,660 --> 00:20:08,110
Like I said,
it's not about the horniness.

404
00:20:08,230 --> 00:20:09,980
It's about the loneliness.

405
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:12,710
And how can I be alone here
with my boys?

406
00:20:13,833 --> 00:20:16,064
Like a famous person once said,

407
00:20:16,441 --> 00:20:17,691
"boys on the side."

408
00:20:18,193 --> 00:20:19,720
But I don't...
I disagree.

409
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:23,444
I say, let's hear it for the boys.

410
00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:39,784
Son of a bitch.



9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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