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-=http://sfile.ydy.com=-
Proudly presents
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-=http://sfile.ydy.com=-
Sync:ßÇÈâÈâ
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The
Office Season05 Episode01
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00:00:20,790 --> 00:00:24,410
WEEK 1 JUNE 30
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All right,everybody.
6
00:00:22,910 --> 00:00:25,720
This is your last meal. So eat up.
7
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,610
From this point forward, you
will not use the bathroom.
8
00:00:29,620 --> 00:00:32,820
We need to keep r our starting
weights high so we can lose more.
9
00:00:32,830 --> 00:00:36,690
This summer, corporate is sponsoring a ttle
weight loss contest between the branches.
10
00:00:36,700 --> 00:00:42,340
Whichever branch loses the most
weight gets three extra vacati days.
11
00:00:42,350 --> 00:00:43,910
What should we do with
all these leftovers?
12
00:00:43,930 --> 00:00:45,530
I'm taking the dumplings for my wife.
13
00:00:45,540 --> 00:00:48,710
No,no,no! This is your last
meal. There will be no leftors.
14
00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:50,840
I can bring these to my shelter.
15
00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:53,020
I'm taking my dumplings.
16
00:00:53,530 --> 00:00:55,930
There. Take those home to your wife.
17
00:00:58,330 --> 00:00:59,180
Dwight,dwight!
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00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,230
Michael,it's time!
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00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,240
Hit the scales,everybody.
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00:01:02,250 --> 00:01:03,820
Just get right on that black platform.
21
00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:05,930
This w. Step it up.
22
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,660
Don't go breaking my scale.
23
00:01:07,670 --> 00:01:09,910
I'm excited to lose
weight for the wedding
24
00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:15,280
Because i really want to have washboard
abs the first time angela sees me naked.
25
00:01:17,420 --> 00:01:18,480
Ex-squeeze me.
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00:01:18,490 --> 00:01:21,240
No,i will ex-squeeze you.
27
00:01:21,250 --> 00:01:23,340
Okay,everybody, get used to this,
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00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:28,600
Because we are going to be standing here
briefly every monday for the next seven mondays.
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00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:30,930
Wait a minute. One more
bite of eclair each.
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00:01:30,940 --> 00:01:33,160
Hold it in your mouth
if you can't swallow.
31
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:38,690
Really?Nothin
32
00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:42,390
2,336 pounds.
33
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,230
Y'all need to learn
some portion control.
34
00:01:44,250 --> 00:01:45,320
Wait a minute.
35
00:01:45,330 --> 00:01:46,750
Pam is on the scale.
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00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:48,760
Ohpam-cake, no,no,no.
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00:01:48,770 --> 00:01:54,680
We would love your extra poundage, but you are
going to be leaving us next week, so vamoose.
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00:01:54,950 --> 00:01:56,400
- okay.
- vamoose,pam.
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00:01:56,410 --> 00:01:58,150
Dunder mifflin family only.
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00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:58,980
Family only.
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00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,100
All right,got it.
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00:02:00,110 --> 00:02:03,140
2,210 pounds.
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00:02:07,980 --> 00:02:11,680
Pam,you weigh 226 pounds?
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00:02:11,690 --> 00:02:13,090
Almost,kevin.
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00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:15,010
Not almost though,holly.
46
00:02:15,030 --> 00:02:17,310
I mean,not--
not close to 200.
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00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,740
- math is hard.
- yeah.
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00:02:19,750 --> 00:02:21,900
Just-- we'll
just keep going.
49
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:25,110
WEEK1--2210LBS
50
00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:29,210
WEEK 2 JULY 7
51
00:02:26,210 --> 00:02:28,710
I'm totally gonna slaughter
at the weigh-in today.
52
00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,900
All i had this weekend to eat was a
chicken breast and a case of diet coke.
53
00:02:31,910 --> 00:02:32,750
- really?
- yeah.
54
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,620
'Cause i haven't eaten
anything since noon on friday.
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00:02:35,630 --> 00:02:37,120
Okay.
56
00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:38,500
Stanley,come on.
57
00:02:38,510 --> 00:02:40,440
Oh,i forgot something in my
car. I'll see you guys up there.
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00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:42,140
All right.
59
00:02:45,010 --> 00:02:47,910
I happen to be losing weight
on my own for my own reasons.
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00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:51,540
The truth is i have lost
a little of my speed.
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00:02:51,550 --> 00:02:52,890
A little of my fire.
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00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:54,590
Here's what i used to look like.
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00:02:54,610 --> 00:02:56,160
Look at those biceps.
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00:02:56,180 --> 00:02:59,990
We were fighting the power
and eating whatever we wanted.
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00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,300
And arch yr back.
66
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:05,860
And slowly bring up your head.
67
00:03:09,130 --> 00:03:09,790
Jimbo.
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00:03:09,810 --> 00:03:10,810
Ah,they moved the shower.
69
00:03:10,820 --> 00:03:13,040
Did you see holly's butt?
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00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,250
Nope,i didn't.
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00:03:15,260 --> 00:03:16,890
- you know why?
- why?
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00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:20,020
Because most of the time friends
don't talk about other friends' butts.
73
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,950
I know.
74
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,580
But what have you learned about her?
75
00:03:24,590 --> 00:03:27,690
I learned that she broke her
left leg twice in one year.
76
00:03:27,710 --> 00:03:30,720
I learned that she's
allergic to sesame seeds.
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00:03:30,730 --> 00:03:34,360
I learned that she has read
lonesome dovethree times.
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00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:34,940
Nice.
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00:03:34,950 --> 00:03:38,850
And that her butt refuses quit!
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00:03:38,860 --> 00:03:40,600
Well,i tried.
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00:03:40,610 --> 00:03:44,350
You have to-- you
have to agree with me.
82
00:03:44,370 --> 00:03:47,780
- that's insane.i thought you had to pee.
- i'll just go later.
83
00:03:56,130 --> 00:04:00,080
Hey,if you're into yoga, i take a
great bikram class in dickson city.
84
00:04:00,090 --> 00:04:01,840
Oh,thanks,i should check that out.
85
00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:05,980
Also,and no pressure,
the teacher, he's a catch.
86
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,410
Actually,i'm a lesbian.
87
00:04:07,430 --> 00:04:09,560
I'm gay.
88
00:04:09,570 --> 00:04:11,030
I'm not a lesbian.
89
00:04:11,260 --> 00:04:13,720
I don't know why i
said that. Stupid joke.
90
00:04:13,730 --> 00:04:15,410
What's the joke?
91
00:04:15,770 --> 00:04:17,840
There is no joke.
92
00:04:17,860 --> 00:04:22,900
I just said it because i haven't had much luck
lately, and i'm not really looking to date.
93
00:04:22,910 --> 00:04:26,200
So... Maybe i should switch to women.
94
00:04:26,210 --> 00:04:28,900
Oh,you think it's a choice?
95
00:04:30,050 --> 00:04:33,630
Um,i'm gonna head back
to my work area and just--
96
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,070
I'm messing with you,holly.
97
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:40,160
- i knew that. Okay,bye.
- okay.
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00:04:40,170 --> 00:04:41,470
- so you have the directions?
- yeah.
99
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:42,530
- you have a toothbrush?
- yes.
100
00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:43,810
You have a cell phone charger?
101
00:04:43,820 --> 00:04:44,780
I have everything.
102
00:04:44,790 --> 00:04:49,200
Tomorrow i start a three-month design
program at the pratt institute in new york.
103
00:04:49,220 --> 00:04:52,700
I will be a little
fish in the big apple.
104
00:04:52,950 --> 00:04:55,550
What up,212?
105
00:04:55,950 --> 00:04:56,780
Fax this for me.
106
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:58,640
Come on,man. She goes to
new york in,like,ten minutes.
107
00:04:58,650 --> 00:05:01,810
It's not gonna take her
ten minutes to fax it,jim.
108
00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:03,690
If i don't see you again, good-bye.
109
00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:08,340
Well,actually i'll see you when you give
me the fax confirmation,so never mind.
110
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:13,060
Ang... Ela.
111
00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:20,560
Ela ela ela under my angerela
ela ela ela eh eh eh--
112
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:21,830
What?
113
00:05:21,850 --> 00:05:23,370
Hey,check it out.
114
00:05:23,380 --> 00:05:25,630
This is the breakers.
Newport,rhode island.
115
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:29,420
Huge awesome gorgeous mansion
overlooking the atlantic.
116
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:32,530
And my dad went to cornell
with the current groundskeeper.
117
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:38,040
Every little boy fantasizes
about his fairytale wedding.
118
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,200
No,no.
119
00:05:40,210 --> 00:05:42,260
This is where my parents
decided not to get divorced.
120
00:05:42,270 --> 00:05:43,040
******
121
00:05:43,050 --> 00:05:49,650
********i'm on it.
122
00:05:50,530 --> 00:05:52,540
I'll see you later,love.
123
00:06:10,550 --> 00:06:13,350
Oh,we done good in there,half-pint.
124
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,210
Well,that was the last
time,dwight. I mean it.
125
00:06:15,220 --> 00:06:16,940
- monkey--
- no,no.
126
00:06:16,950 --> 00:06:20,020
I have a fiance i very much like.
127
00:06:47,850 --> 00:06:49,930
Pam! Pam!
128
00:06:51,980 --> 00:06:52,720
What happened?
129
00:06:52,730 --> 00:06:54,260
I wrote you a good-bye poem.
130
00:06:54,270 --> 00:06:56,440
It's really long. I left it...
131
00:06:56,990 --> 00:06:59,060
Up in my office. Could you just
please wait till i go get it?
132
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:01,090
- i should really get going.
- no!
133
00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,280
Okay,okay.
134
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:07,680
Um,the last word is "seagulls."
135
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,890
- i'm sure it was really lovely.
- i took a lot from other poems.
136
00:07:12,430 --> 00:07:13,820
Okay,call me when you get in.
137
00:07:13,830 --> 00:07:15,130
- okay,bye.
- bye.
138
00:07:15,140 --> 00:07:17,420
- all right,call--
- no,michael.
139
00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:24,450
Why haven't i proposed yet?
140
00:07:24,460 --> 00:07:28,690
Uh,actually,pam and i talked about
it, and we just decided that,um,
141
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:31,420
Well,we didn't want to spend the first
three months of our engagement apart.
142
00:07:31,430 --> 00:07:34,180
And pam's always said she
doesn't want a long engagement.
143
00:07:34,190 --> 00:07:36,540
Something in her past, i guess.
144
00:07:36,550 --> 00:07:41,140
Not really sure of the whole story, but
something about a guy who used to work here.
145
00:07:41,590 --> 00:07:43,210
Okay,no,no,no. No,no,no!
146
00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:44,530
Same places as last week.
147
00:07:44,540 --> 00:07:45,990
- it doesn't matter,michael.
- yes,it does.
148
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,730
No,this is about weight displacement.
149
00:07:48,740 --> 00:07:52,130
We he same weight distribution.
Right here. There we go.
150
00:07:52,140 --> 00:07:54,940
Let's move that up. There we go.
151
00:07:54,950 --> 00:07:57,150
Oh,fancy meeting you here.
152
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,930
All right.
153
00:07:58,940 --> 00:08:01,770
Okay,everybody smile.
154
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,570
You lost 31 pounds.
155
00:08:09,190 --> 00:08:10,490
Yeah!
156
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:12,220
- all right!
- yes!
157
00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:16,820
I can't believe i'm saying this, but
michael is actually killing it with holly.
158
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,000
And i think i know why.
159
00:08:18,010 --> 00:08:22,110
It's because holly is
kind of a major dork.
160
00:08:23,940 --> 00:08:28,310
I'm mc mike scott, and i am hot she's
dj jazzy flax, and she is the best
161
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,980
All those sucker
branches can suck our fat
162
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,730
Wikka wikka wikka wah tide
163
00:08:33,740 --> 00:08:37,870
WEEK 3 JULY 14
164
00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,160
Dunder mifflin. This is ronnie.
165
00:08:41,140 --> 00:08:42,430
I don't really know ronnie.
166
00:08:42,450 --> 00:08:46,570
But i have a feeling i will get to know
her very well over the next few years.
167
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:49,600
And eventually declare my love for her.
168
00:08:52,390 --> 00:08:53,360
Sorry i'm late.
169
00:08:53,370 --> 00:08:58,150
I accidentally switched my alarm
clock setting to zapf chancery.
170
00:08:58,710 --> 00:09:02,590
Which is my terrible
segue into our course,
171
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,980
Expressive typography in new media.
172
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:08,970
I'm in the wrong class.
173
00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:11,020
Some of you may remember
from last semester.
174
00:09:11,030 --> 00:09:13,360
I am professor monaghan and...
175
00:09:13,370 --> 00:09:15,430
Looks like i'm boring someone already.
176
00:09:15,450 --> 00:09:17,490
- no,i just-- -
please sit down.
177
00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:30,800
You're shaking. Are you all right?
178
00:09:30,810 --> 00:09:33,150
Just leave me alone!
179
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,010
I am on the third day
of my cleanse diet.
180
00:09:36,020 --> 00:09:42,220
All i have to do is drink maple syrup, len thjue icofe,
Fi ce cayenne pepper,and water for all three meals.
181
00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:46,500
Um,i just bought some
bikinis online,size two. So...
182
00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:50,090
Gonna look amazing
183
00:09:55,380 --> 00:09:56,630
Hi,can i helpou?
184
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:59,440
I need you to make me 100
copies of this on canary yellow.
185
00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:00,380
Hey,jan.
186
00:10:00,390 --> 00:10:01,490
How's the candle game?
187
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,130
Oh,great,yeah.
188
00:10:03,140 --> 00:10:06,990
Serenity by jan is kicking
ass... And taking names.
189
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,170
You remember last week
when that girl went missing?
190
00:10:09,180 --> 00:10:11,260
Guess whose candles
they used for the vigil?
191
00:10:11,270 --> 00:10:12,660
Cool.
192
00:10:12,670 --> 00:10:14,800
Fice thank god they found her too.
193
00:10:14,810 --> 00:10:16,890
- oh,they found her?
- hey,jan.
194
00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:21,150
Hello,baby! How are you? Good
to see you. Who's your daddy?
195
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,010
You don't know who your daddy is,do you?
196
00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:24,940
No,you don't. Come on,let's go in.
197
00:10:24,950 --> 00:10:29,690
When michael told us that jan was pregnant,
he lead us to believe that he was the father...
198
00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:33,100
By telling us that he was the father.
199
00:10:33,410 --> 00:10:35,170
Hey,oscar.
200
00:10:35,180 --> 00:10:38,020
Who's that woman in michael's
office with the feet?
201
00:10:38,030 --> 00:10:39,790
That's his ex.
202
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,240
Oh,she's very beautiful.
203
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:45,830
Yes,she is. And clinically insane.
204
00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:51,170
So listen,um, i don't know if your
offer still stands or whatever,
205
00:10:51,180 --> 00:10:54,580
- but uh, you can give your yoga teacher my number.
- okay.
206
00:10:54,590 --> 00:10:56,470
Listen,dummy, it's not that hard.
207
00:10:56,480 --> 00:11:01,500
All you have to do is take the numbers from the
sales report and type them into a master spreadsheet.
208
00:11:01,510 --> 00:11:02,800
A g.d.monkey could do it.
209
00:11:02,850 --> 00:11:04,920
I do not understand why you can't do it.
210
00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:08,710
No! You do not talk to him like that!
211
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,600
But he's an idiot!
212
00:11:10,610 --> 00:11:12,400
He is not an idiot.
213
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:13,380
Thank you,holly.
214
00:11:13,390 --> 00:11:16,460
He is mentally challenged.
215
00:11:16,470 --> 00:11:18,940
But he's doing a super job here.
216
00:11:18,950 --> 00:11:21,050
Wait,back up.
217
00:11:22,570 --> 00:11:25,680
Do you think that i'm retarded?
218
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:30,580
Well...
No.uh,dwight--
219
00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:34,910
Oh,holly, that is very offensive.
220
00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:36,770
I'm sorry.
221
00:11:49,350 --> 00:11:51,870
Hey,so...
222
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:56,720
Since my little lady has such
particular impossible to perceive taste,
223
00:11:56,730 --> 00:12:01,630
I have made non-refundable deposits at
four totally different wedding locales.
224
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,830
Hot air balloons over napa valley.
225
00:12:03,850 --> 00:12:06,680
World-famous walt
disney's epcot center.
226
00:12:06,690 --> 00:12:08,970
Scuba diving wedding in the bahamas.
227
00:12:08,980 --> 00:12:12,220
And the wilkes-barre
marriott, ballroom "c."
228
00:12:12,230 --> 00:12:16,350
Dangerous,tacky,
sharks,haunted-- no.
229
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:19,360
Hurry,we have to make this fast.
230
00:12:19,380 --> 00:12:21,580
Let's do this thing.
231
00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:27,220
I have a nice comforter and veral cozy
pillows i usually read a chapter of a book,
232
00:12:27,230 --> 00:12:29,160
And it's lights out by 8:30.
233
00:12:29,170 --> 00:12:31,550
That's how i sleep at night.
234
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:35,310
All right,i am connecting. And...
235
00:12:35,990 --> 00:12:38,280
You are not there.
236
00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:42,380
Did you install it right? How
about this?Go to applications--
237
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:44,480
I can see you!
238
00:12:44,490 --> 00:12:46,580
- all right!
- this is so cool!
239
00:12:46,930 --> 00:12:49,340
So what is going on,
girl in the computer?
240
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,080
Lunch with a girl from my hall.
241
00:12:51,090 --> 00:12:52,400
Ceramics class.
242
00:12:52,410 --> 00:12:54,140
Then dinner by myself.
243
00:12:54,150 --> 00:12:58,410
I'm gonna watch hgtv, and maybe
go to bungalow 8 with john mayer.
244
00:12:58,420 --> 00:13:00,470
Okay,can you turn the girl off,please?
245
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,740
- i'm trying to get some work done.
- no way,no way!
246
00:13:02,750 --> 00:13:05,600
Pam beesly! Hello!
247
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:09,680
Hey,everybody,look. Pam! Pam! Say hi!
248
00:13:09,690 --> 00:13:10,890
Say hi to pam.
249
00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:12,480
Don't we all look skinny?
250
00:13:12,490 --> 00:13:14,990
Oh,almost dropped you.
251
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,810
Can you put me down? I'm
getting a little nauseous.
252
00:13:16,820 --> 00:13:20,380
Pam,i would like you to meet ronnie.
253
00:13:20,390 --> 00:13:22,010
We call her
rice-a-ronnie.
254
00:13:22,030 --> 00:13:24,610
She is hilarious. She is wonderful.
255
00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:29,630
A beam of light in
this dark,dark office.
256
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,300
Not really so much.
257
00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:36,230
All she does is plop herself down
there and answer phones all day.
258
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:37,420
The nerve.
259
00:13:37,430 --> 00:13:40,570
Oh,calm down,weirdo. It's just
a joke. She's such a weirdo!
260
00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:42,890
You know what? My real
beef with her, though,pam?
261
00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:46,510
Is that she can't find those little
colored paperclips that i like so much.
262
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:47,920
Would you help her findhem,please?
263
00:13:47,930 --> 00:13:50,070
- they're on the supply shelf.
- let's go.
264
00:13:50,780 --> 00:13:54,310
We are following pam
to the supply shelf.
265
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:55,860
Let us go.
266
00:13:55,870 --> 00:13:57,460
New york is so exciting.
267
00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:00,110
I love my classes. The city's awesome.
268
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,770
Can you give me back to jim now,please?
269
00:14:05,690 --> 00:14:09,240
Okay,everybody, let's suck in our guts.
270
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:15,090
2,184 pounds
for a grand-- oh!
271
00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:16,880
You all gained five pounds back.
272
00:14:16,900 --> 00:14:18,830
Damn it! Come on!
273
00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:22,560
Oh,my god!
274
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:23,620
WEEK 4 JULY 21
275
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:25,800
Come on,bernard.
276
00:14:25,810 --> 00:14:27,830
Here we go. Everybody on.
277
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:28,660
All right,we're set.
278
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:31,160
Still good. You guys lost a pound.
279
00:14:32,670 --> 00:14:34,360
You lost one pound.
280
00:14:34,370 --> 00:14:37,450
I wa at the hospital.
281
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:38,930
I lost four pounds.
282
00:14:38,940 --> 00:14:42,510
I don't know what those other fools
were doing, but i lost four pounds.
283
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:46,190
Angela,you'll go to the supermarket
and get the new york cheesecake.
284
00:14:46,210 --> 00:14:48,240
Make sure it's the generic one.
285
00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:50,790
It's stanley's favorite.
286
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:55,030
Yes,i've replaced angela as head
of the party planning committee.
287
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:58,720
I guess i was just in the
right place at the right time.
288
00:14:59,210 --> 00:15:00,560
How's it going?
289
00:15:00,570 --> 00:15:02,540
- it's going well.
- good.
290
00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:04,140
I have a crazy idea.
291
00:15:04,150 --> 00:15:07,320
What if we did,um,
fruit instead of cake?
292
00:15:07,330 --> 00:15:09,520
Cake? Who suggested cake?
293
00:15:09,530 --> 00:15:10,320
Phyllis.
294
00:15:10,330 --> 00:15:12,150
We lost weight today.
295
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,850
I think it's okay to reward
ourselves once in a while.
296
00:15:14,860 --> 00:15:16,300
Are you kidding me?
297
00:15:16,310 --> 00:15:18,350
We only lost one pound, phyllis.
298
00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:21,100
What is wrong with these people?
299
00:15:21,110 --> 00:15:23,450
They have no will power. I went...
300
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:29,250
I once went 28 years without having sex.
301
00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:33,230
And then again for seven years.
302
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:39,000
Does anyone have any idea what the number
one cause of death is in this country?
303
00:15:39,010 --> 00:15:40,920
- shotgun weddings.
- that's not what that is.
304
00:15:40,930 --> 00:15:42,520
Fright. Being scared to death.
305
00:15:42,530 --> 00:15:43,650
No.
306
00:15:43,660 --> 00:15:44,620
Obesity-caused illnesses.
307
00:15:44,630 --> 00:15:46,180
- obesity-caused
illnesses. - thank you.
308
00:15:46,190 --> 00:15:47,360
Holly is right.
309
00:15:47,370 --> 00:15:51,810
People,this is not just about
winning some extra vacation days.
310
00:15:51,830 --> 00:15:55,900
This is about a very cool h.r.initiative
311
00:15:55,910 --> 00:16:01,050
That if we don't follow, we
are all going to die of obesity.
312
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:02,430
So how much are we gonna lose?
313
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:04,220
I would like to lose 65 pounds.
314
00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:07,040
Yes! All right. Who else?
315
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:09,390
Angela,can i put you
down for ten pounds?
316
00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:11,570
No,my doctor wants me to gain weight.
317
00:16:11,580 --> 00:16:13,480
If you gain weight, you will die.
318
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:16,540
I want you to live forer. I
want us all to live forever.
319
00:16:16,550 --> 00:16:17,890
How? How are we gonna do this?
320
00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:20,340
Cryogenics. Spare me five.
321
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,280
This is how we're gonna do it.
322
00:16:22,290 --> 00:16:25,130
Five pounds. I'm asking each
of you to lose five pounds.
323
00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:30,720
That plus jim's 65 will give us a
very good chance at winning this thing.
324
00:16:31,630 --> 00:16:33,490
All right,i'm taking off.
325
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:35,750
- booty call.
- nope,just going to see pam.
326
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,000
- here.
- maybe put up some shelves.
327
00:16:37,010 --> 00:16:43,940
Wait a second. I don't want you to end
up with a surprise pregnancy like me.
328
00:16:44,610 --> 00:16:47,170
Okay,thank you for this.
329
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,290
- you want more?
- no.
330
00:16:50,540 --> 00:16:54,790
I don'knceow if there's any one
place that has all these things.
331
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,400
It's not my problem.
332
00:16:56,410 --> 00:16:59,910
"a thousand-year-old church "in
the continental united states.
333
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:01,430
"there has to be a rainbow.
334
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,430
24-hour veterinarian on call"
335
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,260
That is very important to me.
336
00:17:05,270 --> 00:17:08,380
So i have work to do. Just do it.
337
00:17:09,380 --> 00:17:11,330
Sweetheart.
338
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,710
Just so you know,i don't
care where we get married.
339
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,940
I'll marry you right
here in this building.
340
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:19,530
I'll marry you in the parking lot.
341
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,950
I'll marry you in the
eye of a hurricane,
342
00:17:21,970 --> 00:17:26,430
In the middle of a snowstorm,
on top of a monsoon.
343
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:32,890
All i care about is that we're gonna
spend the rest of our lives together.
344
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,160
I know i haven't made this easy on you.
345
00:18:12,990 --> 00:18:16,310
'Cause-- oh,that's
so rude of me.
346
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:20,730
Have you seen,um, pam's new art?
It's right there. Check it out.
347
00:18:36,330 --> 00:18:38,700
It's a pretty lame party.
348
00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:41,450
Does anyone want to dance?
349
00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:51,210
Collins has pitched a
near-perfect game so far.
350
00:18:51,220 --> 00:18:52,630
And popped up...
351
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:58,100
Some girl came into pam's room crying
about her roommate stealing her soy milk.
352
00:18:58,110 --> 00:19:01,380
So i'm in here waiting it out.
353
00:19:01,730 --> 00:19:02,970
Stanley, michael's not here.
354
00:19:02,980 --> 00:19:05,070
You can eat a slice
of your birthday cake.
355
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:06,960
I don't like cake anymore.
356
00:19:06,970 --> 00:19:08,380
Why not,dawg?
357
00:19:08,390 --> 00:19:09,750
Taste changed.
358
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,940
Now all i like is baklava.
359
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,330
Michael,we have a situation.
360
00:19:19,010 --> 00:19:21,470
They should not be in that room.
361
00:19:21,490 --> 00:19:24,200
- that's so lame they didn't invite us.
- you know what we should do?
362
00:19:24,210 --> 00:19:26,480
- we should have a party and not invite them.
- yeah!
363
00:19:26,490 --> 00:19:29,320
Let's go mini-golfing. Yeah?
364
00:19:29,330 --> 00:19:33,170
Oh,hey,could i have a rain
check on the mini golf?
365
00:19:33,550 --> 00:19:36,290
I,u aually have a date tonight.
366
00:19:39,210 --> 00:19:42,000
It'll probably be a
total disaster,but...
367
00:19:42,010 --> 00:19:47,110
Um,i think you'll have fun because
men from scranton are handsome,
368
00:19:47,130 --> 00:19:49,820
And they know how to
show a woman a good time.
369
00:19:49,830 --> 00:19:53,180
Nothat guy who murdered his
mother. He was not so handsome.
370
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:54,730
Also kevin.
371
00:19:54,750 --> 00:19:56,550
You know what? We're
pretty much done here today.
372
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,160
Why don't you just take off early?
373
00:19:58,170 --> 00:19:58,840
- really?
- yeah.
374
00:19:58,850 --> 00:20:00,580
Oh,that's sweet.
375
00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:03,840
- wish me luck.
- good luck.
376
00:20:04,350 --> 00:20:05,670
Oh,holly doesn't need luck.
377
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,380
Everyone that meets
her instantly loves her.
378
00:20:08,390 --> 00:20:09,920
Party's over!
379
00:20:09,930 --> 00:20:11,470
You are so busted!
380
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,400
Okay,everybody.
381
00:20:13,410 --> 00:20:16,410
Phyllis,did i or did i not say fruit?
382
00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:19,000
- you said fruit,michael.
- and what is that?
383
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:20,520
Cake.
384
00:20:20,530 --> 00:20:25,090
You know, we're gonna have to try a little
bit harder if we are going to win th thing.
385
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:27,790
Happy birthday, stanley.
386
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:34,680
WEEK 5 JULY 28
387
00:20:30,970 --> 00:20:33,770
It's kind of a good
news, bad news situation.
388
00:20:33,790 --> 00:20:36,070
The bad news is we're
not doing very well,
389
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:39,210
So we really had to starve
ourselves this whole week.
390
00:20:39,230 --> 00:20:43,180
But the good news is that all the other
branches are doing just as bad as we are.
391
00:20:43,190 --> 00:20:46,210
So corporate upped
the prize to five days.
392
00:20:46,230 --> 00:20:50,780
So if we stay fat long enough, we
may actually get a whole month off.
393
00:20:57,750 --> 00:20:58,910
What?
394
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:00,580
Oh,nothing.
395
00:21:00,590 --> 00:21:03,150
It's just some of us are
taking this really seriously.
396
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,140
I swallowed a tapeworm last night.
397
00:21:05,170 --> 00:21:07,290
It's going to grow up to
three feet inside of me,
398
00:21:07,310 --> 00:21:09,980
And then it eats all my
food so that i don't get fat.
399
00:21:09,990 --> 00:21:13,470
And then after three months, i take
some medicine and then i pass it.
400
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,950
Creed sold it to me. It's from mexico.
401
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,370
That wasn't a tapeworm.
402
00:21:21,430 --> 00:21:24,120
How's my favorite branch doing?
403
00:21:27,830 --> 00:21:29,800
All right.
404
00:21:34,220 --> 00:21:36,150
Ronnie was blecch.
405
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,890
Things were at an all-time sad here.
406
00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:41,980
But then i got an email from ryan
that he was coming back to town.
407
00:21:41,990 --> 00:21:44,640
And i called the temp
agency, and i told them,
408
00:21:44,650 --> 00:21:47,560
"i will pay you any
amount."just give me ryan howard.
409
00:21:47,580 --> 00:21:50,510
Give him to me. I want him. I need him."
410
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:51,640
And you got a goatee.
411
00:21:51,650 --> 00:21:52,580
I did.
412
00:21:52,590 --> 00:21:55,420
Did you get that after you
helped me move and you saw mine?
413
00:21:55,430 --> 00:21:58,210
Yes. Gooo-atee!
414
00:21:58,220 --> 00:22:01,250
Fire-ed guy!
415
00:22:01,260 --> 00:22:03,180
Hey,kevin.
416
00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:04,500
- that's really funny.
- yeah.
417
00:22:04,510 --> 00:22:06,390
- it's great to see you,kev.
- you too.
418
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:11,770
I'm keeping a list of everyone who wrongs
me, so when i'm back on top, they'll be sorry.
419
00:22:12,070 --> 00:22:14,040
Kevin just made the list.
420
00:22:14,050 --> 00:22:15,830
Jim.
421
00:22:16,780 --> 00:22:20,480
I wanted to apologize for
how i treated you last year.
422
00:22:20,490 --> 00:22:22,910
I lost sight of myself.
423
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,230
And now that i've quit the rat race,
424
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:29,690
I realized there's so much more to life than
being the youngest vp in the company's history.
425
00:22:29,700 --> 00:22:32,920
I've even started,um, volunteering.
426
00:22:32,930 --> 00:22:34,520
Giving back to the community.
427
00:22:34,530 --> 00:22:36,350
That's great.
428
00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:39,050
You're talking about your
court-ordered community service?
429
00:22:39,060 --> 00:22:41,940
I don't need a judge to tell
me to keep my community clean.
430
00:22:41,950 --> 00:22:43,700
But he did,right?
431
00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:45,480
- all right.
- all right.
432
00:22:51,070 --> 00:22:55,310
Well,you lost zero pounds. No change.
433
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,180
On the brighter side,
you gained zero pounds.
434
00:22:57,190 --> 00:23:00,620
Hey,you know what? I can't
do this by myself,people.
435
00:23:00,630 --> 00:23:04,610
Kelly and i are the only ones who have
either passed out or almost passed out.
436
00:23:04,620 --> 00:23:06,970
Damn it,i need these five
days for my honeymoon!
437
00:23:06,980 --> 00:23:07,920
Who is slacking?
438
00:23:07,930 --> 00:23:10,350
Okay,let's just all try
and work harder,okay?
439
00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:12,430
No,i want names!
440
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:16,740
This is the hardest thing i've
ever had to do in my entire life.
441
00:23:17,610 --> 00:23:20,740
I haven't had a very hard life.
442
00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:21,960
So how was your date?
443
00:23:21,970 --> 00:23:23,410
8.5
444
00:23:23,420 --> 00:23:25,730
I got a red wine stain
on my favorite shirt.
445
00:23:25,740 --> 00:23:27,610
But he's cute,right?
446
00:23:29,350 --> 00:23:31,620
Whofatfi'sce wng?.
447
00:23:43,630 --> 00:23:45,370
Close the door.
448
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,310
- this is your fault.
- no.
449
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,210
Your stupid "friend zone."
450
00:23:51,220 --> 00:23:56,320
I should've been lovers with her first
and then friends. That was terrible advice.
451
00:23:56,330 --> 00:23:57,920
Terrible advice!
452
00:23:57,930 --> 00:23:59,890
You know my seduction method.
453
00:23:59,910 --> 00:24:02,510
I like to get in there
and get my hands dirty.
454
00:24:02,770 --> 00:24:06,350
You sabotaged me. You sabotaged me,man.
455
00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:08,880
Attention! Attention!
456
00:24:08,890 --> 00:24:14,880
We only have a few weeks left, and most
of you are just as fat as the day we began.
457
00:24:14,910 --> 00:24:16,540
How much weight have you lost,dwight?
458
00:24:16,550 --> 00:24:17,860
I am hardly the problem,jim.
459
00:24:17,870 --> 00:24:18,860
No,you're definitely the problem.
460
00:24:18,870 --> 00:24:21,150
This is what i gonna do.
461
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:26,810
I'm gonna randomly select three names, and
these three people will get liposuction.
462
00:24:28,110 --> 00:24:29,440
Stanley, phyllis,kevin.
463
00:24:29,450 --> 00:24:32,570
And you will be responsible
for your own medical bills.
464
00:24:34,740 --> 00:24:36,120
Kelly.
465
00:24:36,130 --> 00:24:39,010
Oh,hello,ryan. You look well.
466
00:24:39,020 --> 00:24:42,850
I wanted to say i'm sorry for treating
you bad the past couple of years.
467
00:24:42,860 --> 00:24:45,620
I-- i was in my
mid-twenties,and...
468
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,810
I was going through a lot of stuff.
469
00:24:47,830 --> 00:24:49,970
I think i never really processed 9/11.
470
00:24:49,980 --> 00:24:52,860
Um,i want you to know i've changed.
471
00:24:53,090 --> 00:24:54,290
Cool.
472
00:24:54,300 --> 00:24:57,160
We should get a drink later,catch up.
473
00:24:57,170 --> 00:24:59,010
Pick me up around 8:00?
474
00:24:59,020 --> 00:25:03,820
Oh,that is so sweet, um,but
i'm dating darryl still,
475
00:25:03,830 --> 00:25:07,100
And we're,like, crazy in love,so...
476
00:25:07,110 --> 00:25:09,890
I--
cool.
477
00:25:12,940 --> 00:25:15,240
Well,maybe i'll see you around.
478
00:25:15,250 --> 00:25:17,870
- it's a small office.
- yeah.
479
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:26,100
Hey,phyllis, do you
have a minute? Listen...
480
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:31,190
I'm really sorry about
what i said before,okay?
481
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,660
I was way out of line.
482
00:25:34,140 --> 00:25:35,320
Yes,you were.
483
00:25:35,330 --> 00:25:37,430
But you know what? I
want to make it up to you.
484
00:25:38,050 --> 00:25:43,290
There is a surefire sale, but
it's tfiwoce-man job. Interested?
485
00:25:45,550 --> 00:25:48,660
Split the commission?
486
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:52,070
60/40,hmm?
487
00:25:53,340 --> 00:25:55,540
I'll drive.
488
00:26:10,900 --> 00:26:12,900
Dieting's only half of it.
489
00:26:13,090 --> 00:26:14,220
Saunas.
490
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:15,760
And exercise.
491
00:26:15,780 --> 00:26:18,280
Although i know everybody
lovesgoing to the gym.
492
00:26:18,290 --> 00:26:20,440
Ah,the dreadmill.
493
00:26:21,810 --> 00:26:26,330
Probably the weirdest thing about
pam being gone will be lunch,actually.
494
00:26:26,790 --> 00:26:32,200
But,um,it will force me to become
acquaintances with people i consider...
495
00:26:32,250 --> 00:26:34,380
Coworkers.
496
00:26:34,390 --> 00:26:38,530
Oh,my god. Uh,okay. Everybody just
act normal. Don't say anything.
497
00:26:38,540 --> 00:26:39,750
What?
498
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,850
My ex-girlfriend,
she's right behind you.
499
00:26:41,860 --> 00:26:43,520
- really? Where?
- just hide me.
500
00:26:43,530 --> 00:26:45,500
No,no,don't
look--
501
00:26:46,620 --> 00:26:48,290
Wow,was it the age difference?
502
00:26:48,300 --> 00:26:50,310
Uh,actually,kind of,yes.
503
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,260
I just didn't like eating
dinner that early,so...
504
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:57,480
Hey,jim.
505
00:26:57,490 --> 00:26:59,940
Um,listen,can i call
you back in a little bit?
506
00:26:59,950 --> 00:27:01,940
I made friends.
507
00:27:05,590 --> 00:27:06,880
Are you insane?
508
00:27:06,890 --> 00:27:08,320
God,what happened?
509
00:27:08,330 --> 00:27:09,880
There was no client.
510
00:27:09,890 --> 00:27:14,480
Dwight drove me to an abandoned warehouse
five miles away and pushed me out of the car.
511
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:17,580
I had to walk home with
no money and no phone.
512
00:27:17,590 --> 00:27:20,660
And you burned over 1,000
calories walking home,
513
00:27:20,670 --> 00:27:24,960
And this branch just got a little
bit closer to winning the contest.
514
00:27:24,970 --> 00:27:26,470
Phyllis vance, ladies and gentlemen!
515
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,260
You left me in a bad part of town.
516
00:27:29,270 --> 00:27:32,110
Yeah,i took your purse.
What are you worried about?
517
00:27:33,550 --> 00:27:35,580
You look great.
518
00:27:35,590 --> 00:27:38,080
I can definitelyee the difference.
519
00:27:38,090 --> 00:27:40,180
Phyllis vance for david wallace.
520
00:27:40,190 --> 00:27:41,270
WEEK 6 AUGUST 4
521
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,930
NO WEIGH-IN THIS WEEK
522
00:27:40,350 --> 00:27:42,700
"that dunder mifflin
does not discriminate.
523
00:27:42,710 --> 00:27:45,450
"nor does it condone
unhealthy dieting habits "
524
00:27:45,460 --> 00:27:49,430
Or extreme weight-loss strategies as
was clearly stated in the official-- "
525
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:53,710
Oh,bang boom! Shake! Clargh!
526
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:57,050
Why,hello,everybody!
527
00:27:57,060 --> 00:27:59,260
- what are you doing?
- fair question.
528
00:27:59,270 --> 00:28:03,210
I say,i say,i say sit down,holly!
529
00:28:03,220 --> 00:28:05,340
I'll take it from here.
530
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:09,380
I am beautiful.
531
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,870
They are beautiful.
532
00:28:15,730 --> 00:28:18,020
He is beautiful.
533
00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:23,180
This big fat pig is beautiful.
534
00:28:23,190 --> 00:28:25,080
It's my sumo suit.
535
00:28:25,090 --> 00:28:26,440
I just didn't inflate it all the way.
536
00:28:26,450 --> 00:28:31,310
I'm so glad that i
bought instead of rented.
537
00:28:31,340 --> 00:28:33,700
Body image.
538
00:28:33,710 --> 00:28:36,790
We are here because there is
something wrong with society.
539
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,140
See,you're always saying there's
something wrong with society,
540
00:28:39,150 --> 00:28:41,320
But maybe there's
something wrong with you.
541
00:28:41,330 --> 00:28:44,140
If it's me,then society
made me that way.
542
00:28:44,150 --> 00:28:49,730
Now i know a lot of you are probably asking
yourself, "why are you dressed in a plus-size suit?"
543
00:28:49,750 --> 00:28:51,950
Because you're kind
of doing michael klump.
544
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:53,450
How do you know michael klump?
545
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:55,490
Because it's your "making
fun of fat people" character.
546
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:57,050
How dare you!
547
00:28:57,060 --> 00:29:00,250
Michael klump is a
celebration of fat people.
548
00:29:00,260 --> 00:29:02,970
I think of him as more like a monster.
549
00:29:02,980 --> 00:29:05,730
What about,"i say,i
say, i say,i sit on you"?
550
00:29:05,750 --> 00:29:07,300
No,no,no. It
goes-- look.
551
00:29:07,310 --> 00:29:09,520
I say,i say,i say i sit on you!
552
00:29:09,540 --> 00:29:14,990
No,no,no,no! You know what?
Fat people are not monsters.
553
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,950
Why don't you guys have a little
more sensitivity to the subject?
554
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,070
Bang,boom! Case in point.
555
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,960
Look at the outside of
this building. It is ugly.
556
00:29:23,970 --> 00:29:28,790
But you come inside,
and it is beautiful.
557
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:31,970
Just like this unappealing fat suit.
558
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:37,010
Inside is a rather handsome,sexy man.
559
00:29:37,030 --> 00:29:37,840
Vamping.
560
00:29:37,850 --> 00:29:40,350
Hey,why don't you just sit down,please?
561
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:41,410
Eh,i've been sitting all day.
562
00:29:41,420 --> 00:29:45,720
We're doing this because of you, so why
don't you just go stand somewhere else.
563
00:29:48,610 --> 00:29:49,580
Shaved.
564
00:29:49,590 --> 00:29:51,510
- i did.
- why?
565
00:29:54,480 --> 00:30:00,910
So in the ar 2000, fungus and even black
mold was discovered growing in the cave.
566
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:04,800
Some blame it on the new air
conditioning system that was installed.
567
00:30:04,810 --> 00:30:07,310
Some on the high-powered lights.
568
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:10,740
Others feel that
fungus is due to--
569
00:30:11,940 --> 00:30:13,590
- nice.
- quiet,please.
570
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:15,280
- sorry.
- sorry.
571
00:30:15,590 --> 00:30:20,340
Dwight,i would like you to apologize
to this beautiful, beautiful woman
572
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:24,430
For forcing her to walk five miles,
which for her, is basically a death march.
573
00:30:24,450 --> 00:30:25,980
She should thank me.
574
00:30:25,990 --> 00:30:27,810
Okay,phyllis, thank dwight first.
575
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:29,240
Why should i have to thank him?
576
00:30:29,250 --> 00:30:32,010
You're right,you're right. Just--
dwight,do it. Just say it,okay?
577
00:30:32,020 --> 00:30:35,510
I apologize for creating a ruse
which forced you to exercise.
578
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:37,290
Finally! Right?
579
00:30:37,300 --> 00:30:40,780
Okay,phyllis, you must be exhausted
from standin on those gams.
580
00:30:40,790 --> 00:30:43,430
Why don't you have a seat?
Let's all clap at phyllis.
581
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:44,820
Okay.
582
00:30:44,830 --> 00:30:49,820
Well,michael klump wants to
remind you that corporate--
583
00:30:49,830 --> 00:30:52,940
Their idea,yes,was to
urge you to lose weight.
584
00:30:52,970 --> 00:30:55,590
But more importantly, what
this whole thing is about,
585
00:30:55,610 --> 00:31:01,230
This contest is really about being health and
in order to be healthy, you have to eat,kelly.
586
00:31:02,170 --> 00:31:05,700
Kelly-- that's--
back,back!
587
00:31:05,710 --> 00:31:08,660
Kelly,i want you to
stand up on your chair.
588
00:31:08,670 --> 00:31:11,870
Come on,stand up on your chair.
Stand up, stand up,stand up.
589
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,110
Somebody help her. Here we go.
590
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,380
Okay,i want you to look at her.
591
00:31:16,390 --> 00:31:19,220
She's a beautiful indian woman.
592
00:31:19,230 --> 00:31:21,210
Why? What makes her beautiful?
593
00:31:21,220 --> 00:31:23,880
Everything. She's perfect.
594
00:31:23,890 --> 00:31:26,140
- i like her nails.
- okay, be more specific.
595
00:31:26,150 --> 00:31:27,780
I like her finger nails.
596
00:31:27,790 --> 00:31:29,310
I like her purple dress.
597
00:31:29,330 --> 00:31:32,230
- what about her looks?
- hell of an ass.
598
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,100
What else do people like?
599
00:31:35,110 --> 00:31:38,530
I wonder wt people like about me.
600
00:31:39,460 --> 00:31:41,510
Probably my jugs.
601
00:31:41,530 --> 00:31:46,660
Kelly,will you just agree to stop this
madness and stop trying to kill yourself?
602
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:49,000
I hateieting. I hate it so much.
603
00:31:49,010 --> 00:31:51,000
I hate this worm inside of me!
604
00:31:51,020 --> 00:31:53,700
I want you to know--
kelly,look at me.
605
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,490
I want you to know
that you are beautiful.
606
00:31:56,500 --> 00:31:59,170
You are truly, truly beautiful.
607
00:31:59,190 --> 00:32:01,460
Give me a hug.
608
00:32:04,710 --> 00:32:05,950
Summer's going great.
609
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:08,550
Just spent two hours
listening to michael klump.
610
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:12,600
I have a weird pain in my left
side that i'm convinced is an ulcer.
611
00:32:12,610 --> 00:32:16,780
My girlfriend lives in new york,
and i haven't seen her in ten days.
612
00:32:17,010 --> 00:32:18,400
How's your summer?
613
00:32:18,410 --> 00:32:22,490
WEEK 7 AUGUST 11
614
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:26,330
- hey,ryan,look.
- yeah?
615
00:32:26,340 --> 00:32:30,010
Shaved off my goatee. I am goatee-less.
We are the goat-less brothers.
616
00:32:31,010 --> 00:32:32,810
Yeah,yep!
617
00:32:32,820 --> 00:32:34,980
All right,excuse me.
618
00:32:35,420 --> 00:32:36,710
How was friday night?
619
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:42,040
Oh,i had a good time, but it's
been three days and no call.
620
00:32:42,490 --> 00:32:45,860
I even have two tickets to see
counting crows for tonight,so.
621
00:32:45,870 --> 00:32:46,680
He'll call.
622
00:32:46,690 --> 00:32:49,460
Oscar,enough with the girl talk,please.
623
00:32:50,170 --> 00:32:52,110
You guys lost four pounds.
624
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:54,720
- i say we have a parade.
- excellent.
625
00:32:54,730 --> 00:32:55,900
Good job.
626
00:32:55,910 --> 00:32:59,670
So it turns out tonight is
my nephew's tee ball game,
627
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:02,360
And i kind of missed
the first three,so...
628
00:33:02,370 --> 00:33:04,020
You've already disappointed him so much.
629
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:05,920
He can't be expecting a lot from you.
630
00:33:05,930 --> 00:33:07,210
I know. I suck.
631
00:33:07,220 --> 00:33:08,600
Yes,you do.
632
00:33:08,610 --> 00:33:10,680
- dwight says hi.
- i do not.
633
00:33:10,690 --> 00:33:12,350
I do not say hi,pam!
634
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:13,680
Now he's saying hi even louder.
635
00:33:13,690 --> 00:33:16,750
All right,listen, we're still
good for this weekend,right?
636
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:20,500
No tee ball games,
recitals, karate tournaments?
637
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:23,370
- hey,can you got to i.m.?
- okay.
638
00:33:23,380 --> 00:33:24,430
Okay.
639
00:33:29,020 --> 00:33:30,770
Let's meet for lunch.
640
00:33:30,780 --> 00:33:32,750
What are you writing about me?
641
00:33:37,900 --> 00:33:39,000
What --
today?
642
00:33:39,670 --> 00:33:43,200
Yeah,c'mon,we'll meet halfway.You'll
be back for your 4 o'clock class.
643
00:33:43,730 --> 00:33:46,220
I'm gonna write you
both up for not working.
644
00:33:46,230 --> 00:33:48,630
I'm gonna write you up for noworking.
645
00:33:49,970 --> 00:33:52,680
Okay. Well played.
646
00:33:52,690 --> 00:33:55,550
Neither of us will write
the other up for not working.
647
00:33:58,180 --> 00:33:59,570
Where?
648
00:34:00,730 --> 00:34:05,840
The rest stop where that soda exploded
on me.Exit 17,I think.1 o'clock.
649
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,820
Alright.See you then.:)P.S.I
finally finished my summer project.
650
00:34:22,340 --> 00:34:24,070
Yeah?
651
00:34:24,850 --> 00:34:25,580
Did he call?
652
00:34:25,590 --> 00:34:27,090
I just got
off-- kendall?
653
00:34:27,100 --> 00:34:30,830
No,no,did-- i heard you
talking to oscar about that guy.
654
00:34:30,860 --> 00:34:32,130
What happened? Did he call?
655
00:34:32,140 --> 00:34:33,470
Oh,no.
656
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:35,480
- really?
- no. And you know what?
657
00:34:35,490 --> 00:34:39,290
I even got two tickets to see the
counting crows tonight as a surprise.
658
00:34:39,300 --> 00:34:41,600
Why do guys not call when
they say they're gonna call?
659
00:34:41,620 --> 00:34:42,550
I don't know.
660
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,690
I always call everybody back right away.
661
00:34:45,700 --> 00:34:46,870
But he'll call back, though.
662
00:34:46,890 --> 00:34:47,850
Give him to the end of the day.
663
00:34:47,870 --> 00:34:49,090
- he'll call,he'll call.
- okay.
664
00:34:49,100 --> 00:34:52,330
If he doesn't,he is loco.
665
00:34:52,340 --> 00:34:56,290
Thanks,that's sweet anyways,um,
666
00:34:56,300 --> 00:35:00,340
Seems like we lost to
utica by only eight pounds.
667
00:35:01,210 --> 00:35:05,020
Well,at least everyone lost weight.
That's all that really matters.
668
00:35:05,030 --> 00:35:08,040
Wait,could we have
till the end of the day?
669
00:35:08,890 --> 00:35:13,450
So we're only eight pounds
behi now i know it's a stretch,
670
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:18,500
But we could weigh ourselves again at the end
of the day and maybe win this thing after all.
671
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:20,130
Leave it to me,boss.
672
00:35:20,140 --> 00:35:22,790
I can get this whole
office to make weight.
673
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,770
It's gonna be a little toasty in here.
674
00:35:32,250 --> 00:35:34,180
A good old-fashioned sweat lodge.
675
00:35:34,210 --> 00:35:37,570
Andy bernard does not lose
contests. He wins them.
676
00:35:37,790 --> 00:35:40,980
Or he quits them because they're unfair.
677
00:35:45,730 --> 00:35:48,640
Hey,is that healthy food?
678
00:35:48,650 --> 00:35:49,340
Nope.
679
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:52,570
We're trying to win a
contest here,kelly. Please?
680
00:35:52,580 --> 00:35:56,110
Hey,michael,i just scheduled lunch with a
client, so i might be back a little late.
681
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:58,820
Okay,that is fine.
682
00:35:58,830 --> 00:36:00,810
Just water,and be back by weigh-in.
683
00:36:00,820 --> 00:36:02,420
- okay?
- perfect.
684
00:36:09,240 --> 00:36:12,470
I hate to even ask because you've been so
accommodating about all the wedding stuff--
685
00:36:12,500 --> 00:36:15,770
Your wish is my command.
686
00:36:16,190 --> 00:36:20,080
Is there any way our first
dance can be to my favorite song?
687
00:36:20,090 --> 00:36:22,490
The little drummer boy.
688
00:36:22,500 --> 00:36:23,590
Of course!
689
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,100
- really?
- yeah.
690
00:36:25,110 --> 00:36:26,200
I mean,it's a great song.
691
00:36:26,220 --> 00:36:29,300
I always thought it was bigger
than christmas anyway, you know?
692
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:32,170
And you know what? The guys already
know it, so it's easy breezy.
693
00:36:32,180 --> 00:36:34,340
The guys?
694
00:36:34,350 --> 00:36:36,140
I didn't tell you?
695
00:36:36,150 --> 00:36:40,790
Here comes treble, class of '96
was available for our big day, so...
696
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:42,360
I booked 'em.
697
00:36:42,370 --> 00:36:43,490
I don't
think that--
698
00:36:43,500 --> 00:36:45,630
And they're collectively my best man.
699
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,960
And they're crashing with
us for three weeks, so...
700
00:36:49,340 --> 00:36:50,340
Totally works out.
701
00:36:50,350 --> 00:36:55,010
I don't know if i want your old college
a capella group to be our wedding band.
702
00:36:59,780 --> 00:37:02,500
Okay,i hear you, sweetheart.
703
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:05,380
But this is a deal breaker.
704
00:37:08,390 --> 00:37:10,950
But you know what? You're
gonna love these guys.
705
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:16,350
Carl one,carl two, broccoli
rob, sparerib, doobie,lunchbox.
706
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,450
Boner champ. That's me.
707
00:37:18,460 --> 00:37:20,110
Pubie lewis and the news.
708
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,440
Hopscotch, jingle jangle.
709
00:37:22,450 --> 00:37:23,760
Sandwich.
710
00:37:23,770 --> 00:37:27,990
These are the best best man
a guy could ever hope for.
711
00:37:28,420 --> 00:37:30,840
Let's talk about this later. Okay.
712
00:37:53,950 --> 00:37:56,250
This is not halfway.
713
00:37:56,260 --> 00:37:59,700
I did the math. I had to
drive way longer than you.
714
00:37:59,710 --> 00:38:03,620
Montclair would've been closer,
so you have to buy lunch.
715
00:38:05,570 --> 00:38:07,560
What are you doing?
716
00:38:07,910 --> 00:38:12,490
- i just-- i can't
wait. - oh,my god.
717
00:38:15,530 --> 00:38:17,760
Pam,will you marry me?
718
00:38:17,770 --> 00:38:20,050
Oh,my god!
719
00:38:21,870 --> 00:38:23,530
So?
720
00:38:24,230 --> 00:38:27,680
Yes!
721
00:38:36,210 --> 00:38:39,250
God,ugh! Where is jim?
722
00:38:39,260 --> 00:38:41,010
I'm calling it.
723
00:38:41,020 --> 00:38:43,630
Guess that's curtains for the yoga guy.
724
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:45,370
- oh,really?
- yeah.
725
00:38:45,690 --> 00:38:48,510
I hate to say, i think the
problem with that whole thing...
726
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,540
- yeah?
- was that he was a complete stupid idiot.
727
00:38:53,210 --> 00:38:55,460
Oh,man, i really wanted to see them.
728
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:59,210
- i know. I love counting crows.
- look at where my seats were.
729
00:38:59,590 --> 00:39:01,320
- wow,really?
- yeah.
730
00:39:01,330 --> 00:39:03,450
That's a shame.
731
00:39:03,460 --> 00:39:07,050
A shame to waste these.
732
00:39:07,510 --> 00:39:10,110
I want to buy them from you.
733
00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:15,870
- michael, you don't have to buy them.
- no,i do.
734
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:17,910
Trust me. I really do.
735
00:39:18,820 --> 00:39:19,830
Okay.
736
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:21,560
- okay?
- yeah.
737
00:39:21,570 --> 00:39:23,680
All right.
738
00:39:24,090 --> 00:39:26,110
All right!
739
00:39:28,580 --> 00:39:32,180
Just-- i want you to just
forget about 'em,okay?
740
00:39:32,190 --> 00:39:34,750
Case closed.
741
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:37,130
Um,can i pay you tomorrow?
742
00:39:37,140 --> 00:39:39,980
I have like a $60 limit on my atm,so...
743
00:39:39,990 --> 00:39:42,090
- yeah.
- is that good?
744
00:39:42,770 --> 00:39:45,660
- what's up,everybody?
- hey,what are you smiling about there,smiley pants?
745
00:39:45,670 --> 00:39:48,190
- you're late.
- wet tuna!
746
00:39:49,130 --> 00:39:50,430
Hey,dwight.
747
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:51,960
- what's up,meredith?
- nothing.
748
00:39:51,970 --> 00:39:53,000
You're dripping on me.
749
00:39:53,010 --> 00:39:54,440
Darryl,would you do the honors?
750
00:39:57,190 --> 00:40:00,230
- sorry,guys.
- no,no,no,no. I don't want to hear moaning.
751
00:40:00,240 --> 00:40:01,810
This is a good day.
752
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:04,420
You guys accomplished something big.
753
00:40:04,430 --> 00:40:07,830
You lost a ton of weight literally.
754
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:09,100
A lot of weight.
755
00:40:09,110 --> 00:40:11,030
And i don't care what
any stupid scale says.
756
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:14,390
You guys are all gigantic losers.
757
00:40:15,420 --> 00:40:19,020
I don't know about anyone else,
but it was a good summer for me.
758
00:40:19,030 --> 00:40:21,330
I lost seven pounds.
759
00:40:21,340 --> 00:40:22,870
And you know what?
760
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:26,430
I'm just gonna take
five days off anyway.
761
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:30,160
WEEK 8 AUGUST 18
762
00:40:41,410 --> 00:40:46,000
I went zip-ling my third
day in costa rica. I...
763
00:40:46,330 --> 00:40:49,460
Guess the harness wasn't
strapped in exactly right.
764
00:40:49,470 --> 00:40:52,820
I broke my neck. And...
765
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:58,130
I've been in the hospital fiveeeks now.
766
00:40:58,590 --> 00:41:01,330
Still haven't seen the beach.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net