1
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,800
This morning, the phone guy comes in,
2
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:17,700
And he shows michael That
our phones have a p.A. Function.
3
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,800
And then he just left.
4
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,000
This is your captain speaking.
5
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,600
The office will be flying
At an altitude of two stories.
6
00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,500
Look out your left-Hand window,
7
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,900
And you will see vance refrigeration.
8
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:36,600
I am the ghost of salesmen past.
9
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,400
Do not come near me!
10
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:47,900
Yes, michael scott
for dr. Jocelyn, please.
11
00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:48,900
Hello, doctor.
12
00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:51,300
I was just following up
about my mole again.
13
00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:55,700
No, i was looking online
About sebaceous cysts.
14
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,600
I have not been squeezing it.
15
00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,900
Could i stick it with a pin?
16
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,700
Toby flenderson to
the principal's office.
17
00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:04,800
Your mother called.
18
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,900
And it appears that
you wet the bed again.
19
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,600
So you have to get home
to wash your sheets
20
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,400
Because they're yellow and
they're wet With your urine.
21
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:23,300
And at 6'6" From the university
of north carolina, Jim halpert!
22
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:24,100
That's pretty funny.
23
00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:26,800
Hey, you know what?
Did i drop my, uh...
24
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,500
- What?
- What the heck...
25
00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:30,200
Is that, uh...
26
00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:32,400
- You find it?
- I didn't.
27
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:33,600
I'll look somewhere else.
28
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:34,800
- All right.
- All right.
29
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,900
Would you like fries with that?
30
00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:39,400
Please drive around.
31
00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:47,200
www.1000fr.com presents
32
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:53,300
Capture:FRM@ÏÄ·ç
Sync:FRS@¹âÏË
33
00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:01,500
the office S05 ep14
34
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,600
Hello.
35
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,700
- Good morning.
- Morning.
36
00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:17,400
You ready?
37
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,100
And we're off!
38
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,000
Like a herd of turtles.
39
00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:33,000
Well, pam and i have eloped.
40
00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:35,700
Actually, we just robbed a bank,
41
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:37,200
And we are on the lam.
42
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:38,800
No.
43
00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:41,600
seriously, i am on a lecture circuit.
44
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:45,500
Apparently scranton has the best
sales Of any regional branch,
45
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,400
So david wallace has asked me
To go to all the branches--
46
00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:52,900
Except nashua,
so a little bit raw there--
47
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,000
but i am going to these branches
48
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,400
And i am telling them
my secret recipe for success.
49
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:03,800
My 11 business herbs and spices
In a sales batter.
50
00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:08,700
that. Well, that is pam.
51
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:13,100
Pam is coming along as my assistant
And my driver so i can focus.
52
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,000
And i like to pack heavy.
53
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:16,300
He brought a sled.
54
00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:18,100
No! That is a toboggan.
55
00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:20,100
You never know when you're
gonna find a snowy hill.
56
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,000
So...
57
00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:26,000
every magician has a hot assistant,
And every rock star has a roadie,
58
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,400
And pam is my hot roadie.
59
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,800
Yeah. I love being on the road.
60
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,500
But i especially love
the time-And-A-Half pay,
61
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:35,300
24 hours a day, for three days.
62
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:37,100
'Cause i have a mortgage now.
63
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:38,200
Gotta bring home the bucks.
64
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,900
Yeah--Oh, don't say "bucks."
That's not ladylike.
65
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:42,800
Here we go!
66
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,200
Okay, so what we do
67
00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:47,500
Is we drive all day
68
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,400
And we stay in hotels
together at night.
69
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,200
- Separate rooms.
- Well, that goes without saying.
70
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,300
I'm gonna say it anyway.
71
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,800
Hey! Look at what
you're wearing again.
72
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:58,200
Pam, have you ever seen
a magician's assistant?
73
00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:59,000
That's...
74
00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:01,200
- this is a new cardigan.
- Kind of--
75
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,000
Maybe you could
tie it around your waist
76
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,400
Or lose the shirt
underneath or something.
77
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,500
- No.
- Oh--All right.
78
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,400
- Hey, kelly.
- Screw you.
79
00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:16,900
Uh, excuse me.
80
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,600
That is no way to address a superior.
81
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,700
Oh, yeah? Screw you, too.
82
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:24,600
What was that all about?
83
00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:26,000
You forgot her birthday.
84
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,300
It was yesterday.
85
00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:33,300
- Go ahead.
- Go ahead.
86
00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:34,200
You do it.
87
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,100
- Okay.
- I insist.
88
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,300
Basically after
phyllis blackmailed angela,
89
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,600
Michael asked them both to step down
90
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,700
From the party-Planning committee
'Cause there was too much drama.
91
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:44,800
- What he said was--
- Just--Easy.
92
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,600
There was a problem
93
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,900
with having one head Of
the party-Planning committee.
94
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,800
She becomes too powerful,
So he appointed two heads.
95
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,600
- I am a paper salesman.
- Party-Planning is literally
96
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:55,400
The stupidest thing
97
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:56,800
- i've ever done in my life.
- This is humiliating.
98
00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:00,300
That's on my side.
99
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,000
So this is fun.
100
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:06,100
My birthday was yesterday
and everybody forgot.
101
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:09,400
I got really dressed up and excited,
And no one said a word.
102
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:10,800
There wasn't even a party.
103
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:14,700
I think sometimes people are
really mean To the hot, popular girl.
104
00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:16,100
Can i turn on the radio?
105
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:18,900
No. I need silence or
sam kinison to prepare.
106
00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:21,500
But then you fall asleep
And there's nothing for me to do.
107
00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:23,100
Then listen to your ipod, pam.
108
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:25,400
- That's dangerous.
- Well, then--Hey.
109
00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:27,100
You know what? Let's just talk.
110
00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:29,400
That's okay. I can--I'm fine.
111
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,800
I'll just play a song in my head.
112
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,800
You nervous about seeing karen again,
113
00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:40,000
Since she was the other woman?
114
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,700
Actually, you were the other woman, so.
115
00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:44,800
No, that was a long time ago.
116
00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,000
Is that why you're
wearing makeup today?
117
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:50,400
No. I'm not even wearing that much.
118
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,800
I hate the idea that
someone out there hates me.
119
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:55,900
I even hate thinking
that al-Qaeda hates me.
120
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,800
I think if they got to know me,
They wouldn't hate me.
121
00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:03,800
But karen knows me
and she still hates me, so.
122
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:07,200
- Oh, this is a nice office.
- You don't have to lie.
123
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:09,700
Through here.
124
00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:12,900
phyllis?
125
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:15,200
Who's that?
126
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,100
She's out of your league, andy.
127
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,900
For your information, I have been
with lots of beautiful women.
128
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:23,700
Sexually?
129
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,200
This conversation is over.
130
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:27,700
I am single now.
131
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:29,900
What we have here
132
00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:31,600
Is the ultimate smackdown
133
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:37,600
Between the nard-Dog And crippling
despair, loneliness, and depression.
134
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,200
I intend to win.
135
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,000
We just wanted to say we are very sorry.
136
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,300
Screw you guys. You're dead to me.
137
00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:46,600
If you say "screw you" one more time--
138
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:47,700
Yeah, screw you, beefer.
139
00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:48,700
- I don't forget your birthday.
- Guys, guys.
140
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,100
- I would never do that.
- Oh. Hey.
141
00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:51,400
- Hey!
- Guys, guys.
142
00:06:52,300 --> 00:06:54,200
We just want to make it up
to you. What can we do?
143
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,900
I guess my only wish
144
00:06:57,300 --> 00:07:00,400
Would be that nothing so terrible Would
ever happen to anyone else ever again.
145
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:01,400
Oh, god.
146
00:07:01,700 --> 00:07:03,000
- Okay.
- In a way,
147
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,800
it's good that it happened to me
Because at least i can bear it.
148
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,100
What kind of cake
do you want, imbecile?
149
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:08,500
Ice cream.
150
00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:14,800
Okay, uh, point at the dunder mifflin.
151
00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:25,700
Hello, rolando. How are you?
152
00:07:25,700 --> 00:07:27,700
- Hi.
- Rolando--
153
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,900
I'd like you to meet pam.
She is our receptionist.
154
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:35,200
You know what? Maybe you guys could
go out On a little friend date sometime.
155
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:37,600
Uh, you're late.
156
00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:39,100
Everyone's waiting
in the conference room.
157
00:07:39,100 --> 00:07:40,400
Karen will be right here
to take you over.
158
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:41,300
Okay.
159
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:42,700
Don't be nervous.
160
00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:44,700
Just picture her naked.
161
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:45,900
- Stop it, please.
- That's what i do.
162
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,800
- Steal my trick.
- Please, cut it out.
163
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:48,600
Hey.
164
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,000
Hi, guys.
165
00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:52,700
Oh, my god.
166
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,000
Is that jim's?
167
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:57,400
- What? Of course not.
- Michael!
168
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:58,300
Okay.
169
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,600
Oh, man! My head just exploded.
170
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,900
Thank god. For everybody, right?
171
00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:06,100
'Kay.
172
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:08,800
Wow, you're huge!
173
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,000
That's incredible!
174
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:14,200
I--God. Sorry.
Sorry, my head is-- I'm just--
175
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:18,000
I'm trying to figure out The last
time that you and jim had sex and--
176
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,000
Let's just get
this over with, shall we?
177
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,500
Ten. Ten months?
1
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,100
Are you kidding?
2
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:31,600
Well, i'm not done yet.
3
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:32,900
Dwight.
4
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,700
This fits in the palm of my hand.
5
00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:37,400
You haven't blown 'em up enough.
6
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:40,500
Why have you chosen
brown and gray balloons?
7
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:41,900
They match the carpet.
8
00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:42,700
What is that?
9
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,200
"It is your birthday," period.
It's a statement of fact.
10
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:47,900
Not even an exclamation point?
11
00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:49,300
This is more professional.
12
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,400
It's not like she discovered
a cure for cancer.
13
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:52,900
I can't believe how bad this looks.
14
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,600
Are you trying to hurt my feelings?
15
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,200
Because if so, you are succeeding.
16
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:02,100
Fortunately, my feelings regenerate
At twice the speed of a normal man's.
17
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:03,000
Okay, good then.
18
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,500
Have you collected
the money from everyone?
19
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,300
- I am working on it.
- How much do you have?
20
00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:07,800
$6.
21
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,300
That's how much
you and i contributed!
22
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,400
- I--
- Damn it, jim!
23
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,200
I said i was working on it.
24
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,200
Trying to see what cds she's got.
25
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,600
It's good to know the deets
About the girl you're wooing.
26
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:24,900
Feist.
27
00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:26,200
Yes!
28
00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:39,800
No!
29
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:42,600
Oh, my god.
30
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:47,700
Oh, no. That is so awful.
That is the worst news.
31
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,200
I have to go. I have to
do a presentation.
32
00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:51,600
I'll talk to you--
33
00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:55,500
This is going to be hard
for me to speak today
34
00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:58,200
Because i just learned
that my father has died.
35
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,300
No, he didn't! He is alive.
36
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:05,100
And this isn't even a cell phone.
This is a calculator.
37
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:06,600
But you bought it!
38
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,800
And now you can't return it.
39
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:10,500
Or can you?
40
00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:11,900
No, you can't.
41
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,400
Yes.
42
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,500
Karen, do you need to go pump?
43
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,100
Not gonna have to do that
Till after i have the baby.
44
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:20,800
No, i am wondering--
What are you talking about?
45
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:25,400
I am talking about How you
all need to sell an experience.
46
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,600
Like i sold you one--
The idea that my father had died.
47
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,700
But now we think you're a liar.
48
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,300
Would a liar bring mini mounds bars?
49
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:37,800
I am a theatrical person.
50
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:40,300
Growing up, i always thought
i would become an actor
51
00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:45,200
Because i have These
memorization tricks that i use.
52
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:47,900
for instance,
53
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,200
I learned the pledge of allegiance
54
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,100
By setting it to
the tune of old macdonald.
55
00:10:56,600 --> 00:11:01,900
* i pledge allegiance to the flag of *
* the united states of america *
56
00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:07,100
* and to the republic for which *
* it stands one nation under god *
57
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,900
* with a woof-Woof here *
* and a woof-Woof there *
58
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,900
* here a woof, there a woof *
* everywhere a woof, woof *
59
00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:15,000
Um, you get it.
60
00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:16,700
I don't know you.
61
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,200
But i need to know you
in order to sell to you.
62
00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:21,900
That is why i have asked you To
go around and tell me your names.
63
00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:23,900
I have an amazing pneumonic device
64
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:27,900
By which i have now memorized
All of your names.
65
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:30,800
Shirty. Mole.
66
00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:33,100
Lazy eye. Mexico.
67
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,100
Baldy. Sugar boobs. Black woman.
68
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:39,600
I have taken A unique
part of who you are,
69
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:43,700
And i have used that
to memorize your name.
70
00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:46,400
Baldy. Your head is bald.
71
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:49,100
It is hairless. It is shiny.
72
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:52,400
It is reflective. Like a mirror.
73
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:54,100
"M." Your name is mark.
74
00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:57,000
- Yes.
- Got it. It works.
75
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,500
- it's very insulting.
- But it works.
76
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:03,600
I would like you all to give
this a shot. What do you say?
77
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,500
But we already know
each others' names.
78
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:08,800
Well, then it will be easier for you.
79
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,300
But i--I still think it's worthwhile
To give it a-- Give it a try.
80
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:13,600
Okay. All right, everyone.
Meeting's over.
81
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:14,800
Oh, i still have more.
82
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,300
Can i please see you
in my office, please?
83
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,000
She is pregnant. She is knocked up.
84
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,300
"K." Karen.
85
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:22,400
Pam, let's go.
86
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:27,900
I can't accept these prices, stanley.
87
00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:31,100
- They just cut our budget.
- Brought you guys some coffees.
88
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:33,200
Stanley, i know you have
adult onset diabetes
89
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:36,600
So i put splenda in yours.
90
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,500
Let's see. How many
did i put in there?
91
00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:41,300
* one, two, three, four *
92
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:43,500
* splendas in your coffee, stanley *
93
00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:45,700
* none in yours, julia *
94
00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:47,500
* 'cause i don't know how you take it *
95
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,100
* but if you'd rather... *
96
00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:51,400
Four splenda. Are you crazy?
97
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,000
Well, no, i actually only put in two.
98
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,600
But that's not how the song goes.
99
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:59,100
- Are you out of your damn mind?
- Are you out of your damn mind?
100
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,400
You bring an angel
like that into this office
101
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,000
And you don't even
set me up with her.
102
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:08,000
We're not friends.
I didn't think about it.
103
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,800
We are friends.
104
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,500
Stanley, we're friends.
105
00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:13,500
And you let me down.
106
00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:17,200
You really like her, huh?
107
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:18,300
Yeah.
108
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,700
I really like her with all my heart.
109
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,600
Give me two clients for her.
110
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,300
I grab this,
111
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,400
And i turn it on and i say,
112
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,900
"Prepare yourself For the
utica chain store massacre!"
113
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,600
No, that's--That is
incredibly dangerous.
114
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,100
No, don't worry. The chain is off.
115
00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:39,100
No, it's not.
116
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:42,100
You know, i think I'm just
gonna distill all of this
117
00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:44,000
And send it in an email to my team.
118
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:47,600
Email's not scary. This is an
opportunity. Don't--Don't blow it.
119
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,000
So when are you due?
120
00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:51,100
in about a month.
121
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:54,500
that is wonderful.
Congratulations.
122
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,300
Thank you.
123
00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:57,300
It just all happened so fast.
124
00:13:57,300 --> 00:13:59,200
It's really amazing.
Congratulations, karen.
125
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:00,100
thanks.
126
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:03,600
So is there a guy or,
uh--Uh, person,
127
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,000
Or, uh...
128
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:09,200
sperm machine that did this to you or?
129
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:10,700
Yes, michael.
130
00:14:10,700 --> 00:14:13,100
- My husband impregnated me.
- Oh, great.
131
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:14,800
His name is dan.
132
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:17,800
this is us.
133
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,000
- So dorky.
- Oh, he's cute.
134
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,400
Yeah, he's so cute.
135
00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:22,000
He's a dermatologist.
136
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,100
We met at a bar. Can you believe that?
137
00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:27,900
- What is happening there?
- Oh, yeah. don't even.
138
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:29,800
That's really dorky.
139
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:31,100
it's really sweet.
140
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,700
No, it's really dorky.
You were right the first time.
141
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,700
So how are things in scranton?
142
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:37,800
How's jim?
143
00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:40,000
they're good. Uh, jim's good.
144
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,300
We're engaged.
145
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:48,700
That's so great. That's great.
146
00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:49,800
Thank you.
147
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,500
Oh, my god. I'm so happy for you.
148
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,100
Thank you.
149
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:57,400
Old hatreds dissolve
into new friendships.
150
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,200
It's a really wonderful moment.
151
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:05,600
I have to take care of
a couple of things,
152
00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:07,900
So andy will be
taking over things here.
153
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:10,800
You're in good hands
And give my best to your mother.
154
00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:13,800
So julia...
155
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:16,500
let's see.
156
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,700
With regards to, uh, billing,
157
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:25,300
Should we send bills to you
Or to your boyfriend's house or?
158
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,500
No, it could go straight
to our business address.
159
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:29,300
Oh, okay. All right.
160
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:30,400
That makes sense.
161
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,500
How does your boyfriend Deal
with your phenomenal success?
162
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,500
Is he just, like,
Totally threatened by you or?
163
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:39,400
Actually, i-- I don't have a boyfriend.
164
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,300
really?
165
00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:42,100
Is that--
166
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,100
Wow, that's so weird.
167
00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:47,500
Guys, stop everything.
168
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:50,300
I'm about to ask out this girl
And i'm completely panicking.
169
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:51,900
oh, my desk is over...
170
00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:52,700
This gal--
171
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:54,100
She's really into you?
172
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,300
Yeah. Yeah.
173
00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:57,600
I mean, i've seen her,
like, three times today,
174
00:15:57,700 --> 00:15:59,700
And we love all the same music,
175
00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:02,800
And whenever i walk into a room
She totally looks up.
176
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,100
??say no more.
177
00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:07,000
So. This is how i got squeaky fromme.
178
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,100
No small talk.
179
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,100
Just show her who's the boss.
180
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:12,800
Just go right in and kiss her.
181
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,500
Okay, it sounds risky.
182
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:16,100
Have i ever steered you wrong, jim?
183
00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:19,000
Wait, what?
184
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,900
I would give that lecture a solid b+.
185
00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:24,600
Although, for the record, karen--
186
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:25,900
Kind of mean.
187
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,000
- I like her.
- Really?
188
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,200
No, honestly.
Tell me what you really think.
189
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,300
I'm serious.
190
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:33,700
i'm really glad i came.
191
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:34,800
Why?
192
00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:37,400
Because, um...
193
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,300
'Cause i'll never wonder ever again
194
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,400
If i did something wrong and--
195
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:46,700
Now i have closure.
196
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,200
She's happy and--
197
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,000
I don't know, it feels good.
198
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:56,500
Thanks for walking me out.
199
00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:59,700
Oh, my pleasure. Yeah, there's all
kinds of weirdoes out here, so.
200
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,000
- you must be freezing.
- I am about to die.
201
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,500
Will you wait here
while i go get my jacket?
202
00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:08,500
Oh, no, it's okay. This is my car.
203
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,100
Okay. Okay.
204
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:11,700
Well, listen.
205
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:13,400
You're a new client,
206
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:18,700
And as one of my new clients,
You will always be taken care of.
207
00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:21,800
And that is the nard-Dog guarantee.
208
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,500
What's a "nard-Dog"?
209
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,200
This is the nard-Dog.
210
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:28,300
What the hell?
211
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:32,300
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
212
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,900
Oh, i--I thought we had this energy,
213
00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:37,500
And i'm a mess,
214
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:39,400
And i just had my heart broken,
215
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:41,700
And you came in today
and you're so pretty.
216
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,800
- You're, like, incredibly pretty.
- I just got out of a relationship, too.
217
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:45,900
It's really hard.
218
00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:47,200
Yeah--Right?!
219
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:50,300
Yeah. Do you want to talk about it?
220
00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:51,500
Go to a mall or something,
221
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:53,300
- just walk around?
- No, i-- I don't think so.
222
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:55,000
Sure, yeah. That's--You're right.
223
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,400
It's too soon.
224
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:58,600
For--Definitely too soon for me.
225
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:02,000
So i'm glad we got that out of the way.
226
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,100
I'm gonna be in touch with you
In three months.
227
00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:05,600
I'm gonna call you about that order.
228
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:08,000
And maybe about that mall walk.
229
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:09,500
okay.
230
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,400
- Take care, julia.
- Thank you.
231
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,800
Sorry i tried to kiss y--
232
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,200
We lost the account.
233
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:31,800
Damn it.
234
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:35,100
dwight schrute.
235
00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:36,200
how old's kelly?
236
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:37,300
Who is this?
237
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:38,900
It's moz. Who do you think it is?
238
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:41,700
Moz doesn't know how to use
a phone, So joke's on you.
239
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:44,100
Look, i'm at the supermarket,
And they only have numbered candles.
240
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:45,100
How old is she?
241
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:46,700
24.
242
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:47,600
37.
243
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:49,700
Do you think i'm calling you
For your best approximation?
244
00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:50,900
I'll call you back.
245
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:02,600
I have here kelly kapoor's
personal and confidential file.
246
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:03,900
Allow me to share.
247
00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:09,200
"Kelly kapoor spent april 1995
To december 1996
248
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,600
at berks county youth center."
249
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:13,400
Juvie.
250
00:19:14,700 --> 00:19:18,400
"According to past employers,
It in no way affects her job perform--"
251
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:19,800
Blah, blah, blah.
252
00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:22,900
Are you asleep?
253
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:24,000
No.
254
00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:26,800
I'm just thinking about what you said.
255
00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:31,200
About karen, about closure.
256
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,000
You remember holly?
257
00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:36,300
She used to work for h.R.
258
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:39,200
No, remind me.
259
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,000
Blonde hair.
260
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,500
Nice boobs.
261
00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:45,400
Not too big, not too small.
262
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,800
Perfect boobs.
263
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,600
Of course i remember holly.
264
00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:50,800
She was the love of my life.
265
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:55,800
What you and jim have
times 100. Just she--
266
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:57,800
She just left.
267
00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:58,900
And i didn't--
268
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,500
I never got closure, you know?
269
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:05,300
I never got closure with her.
I haven't talked to her since.
270
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:06,900
I haven't seen her since.
271
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:11,200
And i feel like i need to
go to nashua And get closure.
272
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,600
I feel like i need that.
273
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:17,500
Okay.
274
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:18,900
Let's go.
275
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,600
I'll just blow off the lecture at rochester.
276
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:26,400
Yeah.
277
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,400
Screw 'em. Let's do this.
278
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,000
??
279
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:38,400
???
280
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,800
??For kelly's party.
281
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,800
- I'd like to contribute.
- Oh, great.
282
00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:48,500
There you go.
283
00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:59,000
welcome to www.1000fr.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net