1
00:00:01,750 --> 00:00:03,003
That's no problem.
2
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:04,578
- Hang up.
- Sure.
3
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:06,881
- Knock, knock.
- On the phone.
4
00:00:07,049 --> 00:00:09,641
- I know you are. Knock, knock.
- You can fax it over.
5
00:00:09,933 --> 00:00:11,133
Yeah, 5-7-0...
6
00:00:11,967 --> 00:00:13,467
- 5-5...
- 5-9-1...
7
00:00:14,020 --> 00:00:15,420
- 0-1...
- 7-4...
8
00:00:15,831 --> 00:00:17,481
- 7-5.
- "Flive-ling."
9
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,344
0-1-7-5.
10
00:00:22,526 --> 00:00:24,190
That makes us look unprofessional.
11
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,609
They would never know it was me.
Here we go.
12
00:00:28,215 --> 00:00:29,315
Who's there?
13
00:00:29,842 --> 00:00:31,280
- Buddha.
- Buddha who?
14
00:00:31,570 --> 00:00:33,870
Buddha this bread for me, won't you?
15
00:00:36,192 --> 00:00:36,994
Great.
16
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,996
I need something to wipe my hand.
17
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:40,998
There's butter on my desk.
18
00:00:41,306 --> 00:00:43,349
- A classic.
- I got a knock-knock joke.
19
00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:45,544
Michael, please?
20
00:00:46,608 --> 00:00:47,755
Please let me.
21
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:50,716
- Who's there?
- KGB.
22
00:00:51,146 --> 00:00:53,386
- KG...
- We will ask the questions.
23
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:54,929
What the hell was that?
24
00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:56,806
What are you doing?
25
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,891
- Stop that. Come on.
- You like that?
26
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,143
What are you doing?
Mine was part of a joke!
27
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,771
Mine was retribution.
No more knock-knock jokes.
28
00:01:04,284 --> 00:01:05,648
- That's it.
- Ding-dong.
29
00:01:06,543 --> 00:01:08,143
- Who's there?
- KGB.
30
00:01:09,134 --> 00:01:11,445
- Dwight, get the door.
- I'm not answering the door.
31
00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:13,322
- It's the KGB.
- You get it.
32
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:15,171
I'm not answering.
You answer it.
33
00:01:15,296 --> 00:01:17,389
- I'm not gonna answer it.
- It's the KGB!
34
00:01:17,514 --> 00:01:19,464
The KGB will wait for no one.
35
00:01:22,915 --> 00:01:23,915
It's true.
36
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:27,086
Subtitles:
- Feygnasse Team -
37
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:30,131
Synch: Jarick & Collioure
Proofreading: So. & Valpi
38
00:01:43,230 --> 00:01:45,187
Episode 5x17
"Golden Ticket"
39
00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:51,449
Good morning, Michael.
40
00:01:53,210 --> 00:01:54,530
I am not Michael.
41
00:01:54,769 --> 00:01:57,211
I am Willy Wonka!
42
00:01:59,263 --> 00:02:01,145
Good morning, Mr. Wonka.
Your messages.
43
00:02:01,270 --> 00:02:03,205
Thank you very much.
What are those?
44
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:04,665
Tell me please!
45
00:02:04,980 --> 00:02:06,080
Jelly beans.
46
00:02:06,674 --> 00:02:09,401
They are not just
ordinary jelly beans, little girl.
47
00:02:10,317 --> 00:02:13,602
These are
extraordinary jelly beans!
48
00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:17,641
The Willy Wonka golden ticket
promotional idea
49
00:02:17,766 --> 00:02:20,316
is probably
the best idea I've ever had.
50
00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:22,975
It's probably the best idea
anybody has ever had.
51
00:02:23,306 --> 00:02:24,526
Three days ago,
52
00:02:24,651 --> 00:02:26,977
I slipped
five pieces of gold paper
53
00:02:27,102 --> 00:02:28,662
into random paper shipments.
54
00:02:28,787 --> 00:02:31,901
This entitles the customer
to 10% off of their total order.
55
00:02:32,507 --> 00:02:33,444
It will be...
56
00:02:33,767 --> 00:02:36,394
a day for them
that is full of whimsy
57
00:02:36,899 --> 00:02:38,491
and full of excitement
58
00:02:38,884 --> 00:02:40,384
and full of fantasy.
59
00:02:41,942 --> 00:02:45,039
I have written these things
because it is my responsibility
60
00:02:45,422 --> 00:02:46,874
as manager of this branch
61
00:02:47,088 --> 00:02:49,627
to "profiligate" great ideas,
62
00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:53,255
and I think I've done my part
with the golden ticket promotion.
63
00:02:53,559 --> 00:02:54,965
Now it is your turn.
64
00:02:55,090 --> 00:02:57,478
I want to hear
some great ideas from you
65
00:02:57,603 --> 00:02:59,603
that are just as good as mine.
66
00:03:01,350 --> 00:03:04,266
We own our own delivery trucks.
We could lease them out on the weekends.
67
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,695
Too many words.
Good ideas are simple...
68
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,020
Golden ticket.
69
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,563
Free... paper.
70
00:03:09,875 --> 00:03:11,405
Jim, we're a business.
71
00:03:11,530 --> 00:03:14,026
Post-its.
That is a golden ticket idea.
72
00:03:14,346 --> 00:03:15,813
NASA took five
73
00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:18,405
or six golden ticket ideas
to get men on the Moon.
74
00:03:18,685 --> 00:03:19,935
Golden Girls...
75
00:03:20,985 --> 00:03:24,535
That's a golden ticket idea, right?
How great was that show.
76
00:03:24,703 --> 00:03:25,788
Golden Grahams,
77
00:03:26,052 --> 00:03:27,052
another...
78
00:03:27,177 --> 00:03:28,177
Is it...
79
00:03:29,349 --> 00:03:30,465
I don't get this.
80
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:31,994
No, you don't.
81
00:03:34,224 --> 00:03:35,960
What will be...
82
00:03:36,322 --> 00:03:38,797
the state of this company
if I am the only one
83
00:03:38,922 --> 00:03:41,322
coming up with the great ideas,
right?
84
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,563
I think I should call her.
85
00:03:48,425 --> 00:03:50,229
Why is it so bad for me to call
86
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,247
and ask her to lunch today?
87
00:03:53,915 --> 00:03:55,720
You're making it too easy for her.
88
00:03:55,845 --> 00:03:59,321
You're just conveying,
"I like you just the way you are."
89
00:03:59,713 --> 00:04:01,728
But I do like her
just the way she is.
90
00:04:01,853 --> 00:04:03,742
That's not what we agreed on.
91
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,951
What are you doing?
Why don't you go on a date with her?
92
00:04:07,076 --> 00:04:08,976
Try to spark up an ongoing joke,
93
00:04:09,101 --> 00:04:11,635
and then in a month or two,
if it feels right, you'll know.
94
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,359
You don't have to wait that long.
95
00:04:13,484 --> 00:04:15,959
You don't have
to wait a month to ask her out.
96
00:04:16,392 --> 00:04:17,214
Ask her.
97
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,592
You're asking him
to give up all of his power.
98
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:20,702
What power?
99
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:23,149
Andy, Pam and Jim
100
00:04:23,776 --> 00:04:27,226
are all telling me
how to deal with this girl that I like.
101
00:04:28,515 --> 00:04:32,229
I don't like getting advice
from more than one person at a time.
102
00:04:32,585 --> 00:04:34,485
I'm a textbook over-thinker.
103
00:04:35,311 --> 00:04:38,061
You can't let a girl
feel good about herself.
104
00:04:38,186 --> 00:04:39,486
It will backfire on you.
105
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:41,549
Every compliment
has to be backhanded.
106
00:04:41,674 --> 00:04:44,700
"I like your dress, but I'd like it more
if you had prettier hair."
107
00:04:44,998 --> 00:04:46,348
That's psychotic.
108
00:04:46,817 --> 00:04:49,955
- Do guys actually do that?
- Guys with girlfriends don't.
109
00:04:50,393 --> 00:04:51,665
That's low, Tuna.
110
00:04:52,205 --> 00:04:53,073
Hey, Tom.
111
00:04:53,198 --> 00:04:54,298
What's that?
112
00:04:54,423 --> 00:04:57,268
You found a golden ticket.
One of my clients found a golden ticket.
113
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,550
No, congratulations.
114
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,473
- Tell me.
- I'll take that down.
115
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:09,690
Was it a spoiled little girl
with big lips?
116
00:05:09,815 --> 00:05:11,942
- I'm on the phone.
- Or an odd little boy
117
00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:15,314
with a cowboy obsession?
Invite them on the tour!
118
00:05:15,930 --> 00:05:17,775
It's Blue Cross from Pennsylvania.
119
00:05:18,649 --> 00:05:19,649
Really?
120
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,928
That's kind of a big client.
121
00:05:26,168 --> 00:05:27,766
How much of a hit...
122
00:05:27,891 --> 00:05:29,662
is 10% of our Blue Cross account?
123
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,880
10%? They're our largest client.
124
00:05:32,005 --> 00:05:34,010
- That's gonna hurt.
- Hold on one sec.
125
00:05:34,135 --> 00:05:36,187
Hold on one sec, Tom.
What's that?
126
00:05:36,312 --> 00:05:38,312
You found five golden tickets?
127
00:05:39,877 --> 00:05:42,427
And does it say
"Limit one per customer"?
128
00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,485
Nope, it doesn't.
129
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:48,722
How do you not spread out the tickets
into different shipments?
130
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,190
I thought I did.
131
00:05:50,543 --> 00:05:52,351
OK, I'm gonna call
132
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,241
corporate to make sure that they know
I didn't lose half my sales.
133
00:05:55,366 --> 00:05:56,816
You didn't. That...
134
00:05:57,947 --> 00:05:59,147
It'll be fine.
135
00:05:59,272 --> 00:06:00,472
It'll be good.
136
00:06:06,057 --> 00:06:07,041
You idiot.
137
00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:08,158
Start over.
138
00:06:08,729 --> 00:06:09,729
Sir,
139
00:06:10,702 --> 00:06:13,847
I placed a bunch of golden tickets
into five separate boxes,
140
00:06:13,972 --> 00:06:16,381
and somehow
they all ended up with Blue Cross.
141
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,752
- How does this happen?
- Were the boxes near each other?
142
00:06:19,210 --> 00:06:20,170
Irrelevant.
143
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:23,262
I put three pallets on the truck
to Blue Cross once a week.
144
00:06:23,387 --> 00:06:24,591
They use a lot of paper.
145
00:06:25,409 --> 00:06:28,770
I'm going to ask you something,
and I want you to be honest.
146
00:06:28,895 --> 00:06:30,180
What is a pallet?
147
00:06:31,729 --> 00:06:33,629
My golden ticket idea... OK.
148
00:06:35,091 --> 00:06:38,745
Why would anyone think
that this is my golden ticket idea?
149
00:06:38,870 --> 00:06:40,719
There's a one in thirteen chance
150
00:06:40,844 --> 00:06:43,679
that this could be
anybody's golden ticket idea.
151
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:44,611
That...
152
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,306
Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam.
153
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:50,242
Hi, David.
154
00:06:51,342 --> 00:06:52,625
No, I'm sorry.
155
00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:55,456
He's not back
from the civil rights rally.
156
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:59,884
I'll have him call you the minute
he gets back from the Lincoln Memorial.
157
00:07:00,009 --> 00:07:01,741
When Michael's skirting
a phone call,
158
00:07:01,866 --> 00:07:04,704
he gave me
a list of places to say he is.
159
00:07:04,829 --> 00:07:08,529
"Stopping a fight in the parking lot."
"An Obama fashion show."
160
00:07:08,986 --> 00:07:10,336
Whatever that is.
161
00:07:10,892 --> 00:07:12,992
Or "Trapped in an oil painting."
162
00:07:13,816 --> 00:07:15,142
I'm gonna save that one.
163
00:07:17,926 --> 00:07:19,221
Nobody panic.
164
00:07:19,346 --> 00:07:20,796
The good news is...
165
00:07:21,464 --> 00:07:23,600
- they can't fire all of us, right?
- They can.
166
00:07:23,725 --> 00:07:25,319
- No, they can't.
- Yes, they can.
167
00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:28,489
You don't know
what the hell you're talking about.
168
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,449
What do you think
shutting down a branch is?
169
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,076
Then we're screwed!
170
00:07:33,465 --> 00:07:35,022
I am just a net
171
00:07:35,776 --> 00:07:39,771
that traps
all of your crappy subconscious ideas
172
00:07:40,762 --> 00:07:43,467
and adds a little bit
of my own childhood memories
173
00:07:43,592 --> 00:07:45,005
and whimsy, so...
174
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:49,218
I lost a ton of money today,
and I've a mortgage, so I'm pissed, too.
175
00:07:49,583 --> 00:07:50,803
Jim is with me.
176
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,763
Absolutely not. I'm mad at you.
177
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:56,331
It is not my fault
that you bought a house to impress Pam.
178
00:07:56,971 --> 00:07:58,727
That is why carnations exist.
179
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,145
That's not why.
180
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:03,902
We need a golden ticket idea
to get us out of this mess.
181
00:08:04,346 --> 00:08:06,673
Does that mean an idea
that blows up in our faces later?
182
00:08:06,798 --> 00:08:07,798
Good one.
183
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,055
Don't get that. Please.
184
00:08:10,996 --> 00:08:12,585
I've got a golden ticket idea.
185
00:08:12,710 --> 00:08:15,327
Why don't you skip on up
to the roof and jump off?
186
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,245
That is not constructive.
187
00:08:17,370 --> 00:08:19,270
Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam.
188
00:08:19,899 --> 00:08:20,899
Hi, David.
189
00:08:22,422 --> 00:08:24,222
He's having a colonoscopy.
190
00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:27,840
All right,
I'll find out if he's out yet.
191
00:08:29,745 --> 00:08:32,931
Hello, David.
I just got back from my procedure...
192
00:08:33,056 --> 00:08:35,415
- What the hell is going on?
- How are you doing?
193
00:08:35,540 --> 00:08:37,516
- Fine. What's going on?
- My colonoscopy
194
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,260
was an examination of my large colon
195
00:08:40,824 --> 00:08:43,724
and the distal part of my small bowel
with a camera.
196
00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:47,212
Why did you okay
this golden ticket idea?
197
00:08:47,337 --> 00:08:50,320
We're going to lose a fortune.
How could you let this happen?
198
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,359
There is an explanation
199
00:08:52,484 --> 00:08:55,159
that involves
me not letting it happen.
200
00:08:55,879 --> 00:08:57,500
And I just don't...
201
00:08:57,625 --> 00:08:59,329
I don't... know.
202
00:08:59,711 --> 00:09:02,161
- How could you not know?
- I think...
203
00:09:02,944 --> 00:09:06,716
We might have hired
an outside marketing consultant.
204
00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:10,257
We might have hired...
OK, what firm?
205
00:09:10,899 --> 00:09:12,349
You're breaking up.
206
00:09:13,342 --> 00:09:14,541
OK. I think...
207
00:09:14,666 --> 00:09:17,513
it might have been
an inside... consultant.
208
00:09:18,532 --> 00:09:20,432
Was it the sales department?
209
00:09:22,597 --> 00:09:23,647
Was it Jim?
210
00:09:25,234 --> 00:09:26,634
OK, was it Dwight?
211
00:09:36,579 --> 00:09:37,629
Come on in.
212
00:09:38,163 --> 00:09:40,113
Good to see you. Have a seat.
213
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:45,500
I just wanted to congratulate you
on that great golden ticket idea.
214
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:46,752
That was your idea.
215
00:09:47,334 --> 00:09:48,921
Who told you that?
216
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,589
You did. Several times.
217
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,257
That was your idea.
218
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,051
You were dressed as Willy Wonka.
219
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,136
- I'm not taking credit.
- Wasn't my idea.
220
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:58,013
- I'd love to, but I can't.
- Wait.
221
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:00,015
I wrote it down in my diary.
222
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:02,959
- You don't keep a diary.
- Yes, I do. You've just never seen it.
223
00:10:03,084 --> 00:10:04,134
"March 4th.
224
00:10:04,798 --> 00:10:07,731
"Dwight came up with the best idea today
about golden tickets."
225
00:10:08,119 --> 00:10:09,519
Hold that thought.
226
00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:17,560
March...
227
00:10:18,799 --> 00:10:19,743
4th.
228
00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:23,413
"Michael came up with golden ticket idea
to give 5 customers 10% off for 1 year."
229
00:10:24,305 --> 00:10:27,095
- Why do you have a diary?
- To keep secrets from my computer.
230
00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:30,077
You know what?
You came up with this idea. I remember
231
00:10:30,202 --> 00:10:33,151
you told me that you loved
the Willy Wonka movie
232
00:10:33,276 --> 00:10:35,232
- when you were growing up.
- Impossible.
233
00:10:35,357 --> 00:10:38,086
- Yes, you did.
- I wasn't given candy as a child,
234
00:10:38,211 --> 00:10:42,057
so a movie that fetishized it that much
would have made no sense to me.
235
00:10:42,396 --> 00:10:44,796
Plus we weren't allowed
to see movies.
236
00:10:45,916 --> 00:10:47,016
Do the math.
237
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,114
- What are you writing?
- "Had conversation with Michael
238
00:10:52,239 --> 00:10:55,112
"about taking credit
for an idea that wasn't mine.
239
00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:56,637
Discussed movies."
240
00:10:57,198 --> 00:11:01,076
Would you like to go to lunch with me?
Just the two of us?
241
00:11:02,914 --> 00:11:03,996
With all my heart.
242
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:07,624
You are throwing a lot at me.
243
00:11:07,992 --> 00:11:10,995
All I'm saying is that's the first date,
so just keep a respectful distance.
244
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:11,921
Right.
245
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,298
I don't think Jim means
that you shouldn't touch her.
246
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:16,596
- No, that is what I mean.
- Shush.
247
00:11:16,721 --> 00:11:18,654
A playful touch
on the arm or on the back,
248
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:21,346
it can show your interest,
and it's really romantic.
249
00:11:22,198 --> 00:11:24,098
- Like that?
- No. Stop it.
250
00:11:26,535 --> 00:11:27,756
Don't touch her,
251
00:11:27,881 --> 00:11:29,281
don't talk to her,
252
00:11:29,887 --> 00:11:31,435
don't look at her.
253
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,611
Put your heart out there like that,
it's liable to just turn
254
00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,317
into this blackened carbon brick.
255
00:11:36,442 --> 00:11:38,999
It has barbecue sauce
of shame and rage,
256
00:11:39,124 --> 00:11:41,938
and two hot people
with a perfect relationship
257
00:11:42,063 --> 00:11:43,863
would not understand that.
258
00:11:45,736 --> 00:11:47,286
We think a lot alike.
259
00:11:48,217 --> 00:11:50,467
Sometimes you will think something,
260
00:11:51,034 --> 00:11:54,239
- and I will say what you're thinking.
- What am I thinking right now?
261
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,060
Nacho chips.
262
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,094
I was thinking about how the skin
is the largest organ of the body.
263
00:12:01,744 --> 00:12:03,694
Let me just cut to the chase.
264
00:12:05,074 --> 00:12:06,961
I want you
to fall on your sword for me.
265
00:12:07,086 --> 00:12:08,436
Not gonna happen.
266
00:12:08,799 --> 00:12:11,965
I did fall on my sword once.
I was running with it in my belt.
267
00:12:12,090 --> 00:12:13,540
Won't happen again.
268
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,484
Why do you even want
to stay at Dunder Mifflin?
269
00:12:16,609 --> 00:12:17,778
What's the point?
270
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,968
You're cooped up in there all day.
271
00:12:20,093 --> 00:12:22,048
You don't get to do your farming.
272
00:12:22,173 --> 00:12:24,923
You're not dating Angela anymore.
It doesn't matter
273
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:28,242
if you get fired for taking credit
for the gold ticket idea.
274
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:29,648
It doesn't matter.
275
00:12:29,773 --> 00:12:32,205
Me on the other hand,
I would be lost without this place.
276
00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:33,968
You, way too manly.
277
00:12:34,093 --> 00:12:35,693
What about Shoe La La?
278
00:12:36,228 --> 00:12:37,720
It's not ready yet.
279
00:12:37,845 --> 00:12:41,345
I have an idea
for a fancy men's shoe store
280
00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:42,870
called Shoe La La,
281
00:12:43,738 --> 00:12:45,996
and it's just men's shoes
282
00:12:46,121 --> 00:12:48,545
for the special occasions
in a man's life,
283
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,605
like the day that you get married
284
00:12:50,730 --> 00:12:53,197
or the day your wife has a baby
285
00:12:53,836 --> 00:12:56,108
or for just lounging
around the house.
286
00:12:57,713 --> 00:13:00,450
May I have your attention, please?
I have an announcement.
287
00:13:00,575 --> 00:13:02,906
Mr. Dwight Schrute and I
just returned
288
00:13:03,031 --> 00:13:06,451
from a wonderful stroll
289
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:10,569
together, and although I probably
will never do it again, I had fun.
290
00:13:11,634 --> 00:13:14,002
I really had fun
with my best friend, Dwight.
291
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,418
These aren't announcements.
292
00:13:15,543 --> 00:13:17,587
You just don't care
about the information.
293
00:13:18,939 --> 00:13:21,529
I love working here,
and I do not wanna leave.
294
00:13:21,654 --> 00:13:23,486
He doesn't love it that much.
295
00:13:23,611 --> 00:13:26,617
It wouldn't be such a bad thing
for him to be fired.
296
00:13:26,742 --> 00:13:29,229
I mean, like we were talking about,
297
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:32,494
that is why
he has come to the conclusion...
298
00:13:32,619 --> 00:13:35,556
We discussed the fact
that I'm cooped up here
299
00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:38,265
instead of experiencing
the whole wide world.
300
00:13:38,390 --> 00:13:40,259
Plowing my own acres,
301
00:13:40,530 --> 00:13:42,761
going around shirtless all day.
302
00:13:43,247 --> 00:13:44,739
Experiencing freedom.
303
00:13:45,272 --> 00:13:46,272
That's it.
304
00:13:47,103 --> 00:13:49,215
That's it.
You can't put a price on freedom.
305
00:13:49,340 --> 00:13:52,090
- Try me.
- That's why you've made the decision.
306
00:13:52,856 --> 00:13:55,644
- I haven't made a decision yet.
- You kind of have.
307
00:14:02,886 --> 00:14:04,759
You cannot take the fall for him.
308
00:14:05,038 --> 00:14:07,429
- He said he would do the same for me.
- He can do the same,
309
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,540
right now,
by getting fired instead of you.
310
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,436
So what are you gonna do?
311
00:14:15,865 --> 00:14:17,665
I'm gonna go back to work.
312
00:14:18,175 --> 00:14:20,484
After I write you up
for insubordination.
313
00:14:21,378 --> 00:14:22,478
There he is.
314
00:14:27,859 --> 00:14:28,859
Get in.
315
00:14:29,260 --> 00:14:31,349
What's it gonna be?
What are you gonna do?
316
00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:34,706
What's it gonna be?
Are you gonna do this thing for me?
317
00:14:39,597 --> 00:14:41,387
How are you? Good to see you.
318
00:14:41,512 --> 00:14:42,712
Nice surprise.
319
00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:46,500
Dwight and I were just having
a very unfortunate conversation.
320
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,021
That's too bad.
321
00:14:48,146 --> 00:14:50,556
Yes, it is.
But it had to be done, didn't it?
322
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,975
Hopefully nothing that can't be undone,
because, Dwight,
323
00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,061
I owe you an apology.
324
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,551
The head of Blue Cross just called.
325
00:14:58,676 --> 00:15:00,981
They were so excited
by the golden ticket discount
326
00:15:01,106 --> 00:15:03,560
that they have decided
to make Dunder Mifflin
327
00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:06,635
their exclusive provider
of all office supplies.
328
00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:11,520
Congratulations.
329
00:15:18,912 --> 00:15:20,165
You're welcome.
330
00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:29,555
I just want to say
that this golden ticket idea
331
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,514
is one of the most brilliant initiatives
I've ever seen at this company,
332
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:35,892
and how about a big round
of applause for Mr. Dwight Schrute!
333
00:15:39,247 --> 00:15:40,605
All right, Dwight!
334
00:15:42,096 --> 00:15:43,206
This is huge.
335
00:15:43,331 --> 00:15:44,881
That's what she said.
336
00:15:46,741 --> 00:15:48,821
- Very funny.
- Dwight, great idea.
337
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:50,457
Great idea.
338
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,404
How'd you come up with that idea?
339
00:15:54,952 --> 00:15:56,578
- Inspiration.
- Really?
340
00:15:56,703 --> 00:15:58,623
- How?
- Never know when it's gonna strike.
341
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:01,193
- How did it pop into your head?
- Just... "boom."
342
00:16:01,318 --> 00:16:02,798
Give me the details.
343
00:16:02,923 --> 00:16:05,588
You're talking to Dwight Schrute,
the biggest Wonka fan I know.
344
00:16:05,713 --> 00:16:08,613
You've been talking
about that movie for years.
345
00:16:08,955 --> 00:16:10,343
I even made fun of you
346
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:13,097
when you dressed up
as Willy Wonka to pitch this idea,
347
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:16,122
- and for that I apologize.
- Apology rejected.
348
00:16:16,585 --> 00:16:19,285
Thanks so much
for helping the company.
349
00:16:20,258 --> 00:16:22,555
- Good work, kid.
- Thanks, old man.
350
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,027
This is great.
351
00:16:24,152 --> 00:16:26,818
I wanna get you on the horn
with the marketing people in New York.
352
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,695
- They should meet you.
- Great idea.
353
00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:31,566
Pam, could you set up a call in there
in about 15 minutes, please?
354
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:32,691
Sure.
355
00:16:35,650 --> 00:16:37,329
Could I be part of the meeting also?
356
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,498
You have too much to do around here.
I don't wanna take up your time.
357
00:16:40,882 --> 00:16:43,462
Let's face it. This meeting sounds
like it's Wonka fans only.
358
00:16:43,587 --> 00:16:45,387
He's never seen the movie.
359
00:16:45,769 --> 00:16:46,769
All right.
360
00:16:53,938 --> 00:16:56,264
Hey, guys.
I have with me Dwight Schrute.
361
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:58,813
- Dwight, take it away.
- Listen up. Here's the deal.
362
00:16:58,938 --> 00:17:01,436
I love candy, sweet sugary candy,
363
00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:04,538
from the second it touches my tongue
to the moment its metabolized
364
00:17:04,663 --> 00:17:07,363
by my stomach acid,
so naturally I liked...
365
00:17:07,535 --> 00:17:08,526
Willy Wonka.
366
00:17:08,808 --> 00:17:10,708
Wait, do you guys hear that?
367
00:17:10,971 --> 00:17:13,871
There's not a dog listening in?
I hear panting.
368
00:17:14,818 --> 00:17:15,909
No dogs.
369
00:17:16,278 --> 00:17:17,662
So, I love...
370
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:19,371
Willy Wonka.
371
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,189
The golden ticket scene
372
00:17:21,347 --> 00:17:25,001
is so inspiring to me that
that's where I came up with that idea.
373
00:17:25,558 --> 00:17:27,624
There is no movie
called Willy Wonka.
374
00:17:27,749 --> 00:17:29,814
It's called
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
375
00:17:29,939 --> 00:17:32,112
Based on a book called
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
376
00:17:32,237 --> 00:17:33,982
I can't vouch for that.
377
00:17:34,544 --> 00:17:37,592
But I do know this...
He is a liar. He has taken my idea.
378
00:17:37,717 --> 00:17:39,849
- That is my...
- We are gonna call you back.
379
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:42,967
- What is going on here?
- Here's what happened.
380
00:17:43,347 --> 00:17:44,797
It was all my idea.
381
00:17:44,922 --> 00:17:47,865
You called me
and you were really angry at me
382
00:17:47,990 --> 00:17:50,290
and I got scared,
so I had Dwight take the fall,
383
00:17:50,415 --> 00:17:52,646
but now it turns out
that it's a great idea,
384
00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:55,657
and Dwight will not confess.
Can you believe that?
385
00:17:56,136 --> 00:17:57,968
- It is my idea.
- How dare you?
386
00:17:58,093 --> 00:17:59,204
It is my idea.
387
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:01,734
I'm filled with good ideas.
Thousands of good ideas!
388
00:18:01,859 --> 00:18:05,083
You are? Good ideas?
Did you come up with toilet buddy?
389
00:18:05,433 --> 00:18:08,106
It's a net, a circular net
you put inside the toilet
390
00:18:08,231 --> 00:18:12,081
to catch your change and your wallet
from falling into the toilet?
391
00:18:12,206 --> 00:18:14,956
- Formerly known as toilet guard?
- Horse boat!
392
00:18:15,081 --> 00:18:17,144
A canoe built around your horse
393
00:18:17,269 --> 00:18:20,348
so you can go from riding
to water travel without slowing down.
394
00:18:20,473 --> 00:18:21,943
- Horse boat!
- Toilet sponge.
395
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:23,878
It's a hollowed out sponge...
396
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:25,633
that is more absorbent
397
00:18:25,758 --> 00:18:27,939
and softer than toilet paper.
398
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,457
- I have a lot of toilet ideas.
- 'Cause they're easy.
399
00:18:30,582 --> 00:18:32,836
- They're not easy.
- Toilet piano bench.
400
00:18:32,961 --> 00:18:34,067
Women's urinal!
401
00:18:34,192 --> 00:18:37,031
Everybody has to go to the bathroom.
402
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:39,343
Enough. Please. Enough.
403
00:18:39,468 --> 00:18:41,018
Is this true, Dwight?
404
00:18:41,864 --> 00:18:43,014
Is this true?
405
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:47,340
It's Michael's idea
that he forced on me
406
00:18:47,465 --> 00:18:48,752
on threat of death!
407
00:18:52,075 --> 00:18:56,050
What do you want me to do now?
What am I supposed to do now?
408
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,944
David, I will be honest with you.
409
00:18:58,069 --> 00:19:00,919
I do want the credit
without any of the blame.
410
00:19:04,191 --> 00:19:06,091
I am going back to New York.
411
00:19:07,839 --> 00:19:08,980
Pam, do me a favor,
412
00:19:09,421 --> 00:19:11,088
don't send me those notes.
413
00:19:13,788 --> 00:19:14,788
I am gone.
414
00:19:20,136 --> 00:19:22,787
When they look back on this day
in the history books,
415
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:26,162
all that will be remembered
is that I had a good idea.
416
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:29,091
And that's what I'm going
to write down in my diary.
417
00:19:29,216 --> 00:19:31,322
And that is what I want you
to write down in yours.
418
00:19:31,447 --> 00:19:32,447
I am.
419
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,472
In my own words.
420
00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:36,399
I wanna see it.
421
00:19:36,524 --> 00:19:38,565
I wanna see that.
Give me the diary.
422
00:19:47,415 --> 00:19:50,438
I'm just gonna say to you
everything that I'm thinking.
423
00:19:51,492 --> 00:19:52,949
I think you have
424
00:19:53,074 --> 00:19:54,325
the best smile.
425
00:19:55,787 --> 00:19:58,687
I'd like to take you out
to dinner and a movie.
426
00:20:01,884 --> 00:20:02,884
Nice.
427
00:20:04,488 --> 00:20:05,488
Boobs.
428
00:20:14,378 --> 00:20:16,730
Well, it's his funeral, so...
429
00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:22,959
Who is it?
430
00:20:23,084 --> 00:20:24,807
- KGB.
- All right.
431
00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:26,850
I just got out of the shower.
One second.
432
00:20:27,245 --> 00:20:29,395
When you are done, open the door.
433
00:20:33,423 --> 00:20:34,673
Hello in there?
434
00:20:34,982 --> 00:20:37,652
I'm late so I have to brush my teeth.
It's a whole routine.
435
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,142
We have other houses to visit.
436
00:20:40,267 --> 00:20:42,458
If you wanna come back then,
that'd be fine.
437
00:20:43,661 --> 00:20:45,161
We'll come back at...
438
00:20:46,023 --> 00:20:49,073
- How is 4:45?
- I get home from work around 6:00.
439
00:20:51,752 --> 00:20:53,447
How about 5:15?
440
00:20:54,574 --> 00:20:56,674
You can try it. That might work.
441
00:20:57,123 --> 00:21:00,049
- Very well. We will come back at 5:15.
- All right.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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