1 00:00:06,660 --> 00:00:07,422 Parkour! 2 00:00:09,611 --> 00:00:10,383 Parkour! 3 00:00:10,723 --> 00:00:11,723 Parkour! 4 00:00:12,219 --> 00:00:13,875 {\pos(192,240)}- Extreme! - Parkour! 5 00:00:14,194 --> 00:00:15,821 {\pos(192,240)}This is parkour. 6 00:00:16,430 --> 00:00:18,280 {\pos(192,240)}Internet sensation of 2004. 7 00:00:18,711 --> 00:00:21,227 {\pos(192,240)}And it was in one of the Bond films. It's pretty impressive. 8 00:00:21,395 --> 00:00:24,687 {\pos(192,240)}The goal is to get from point A to point B as creatively as possible. 9 00:00:24,812 --> 00:00:28,318 {\pos(192,240)}So technically they are doing parkour as long as point A is delusion 10 00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:30,320 and point B is the hospital. 11 00:00:40,135 --> 00:00:42,306 - Okay, here we go! - Andy, leapfrog! 12 00:00:42,431 --> 00:00:43,581 Do me! Do me! 13 00:00:45,772 --> 00:00:47,322 Get off! Get off! 14 00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:52,884 Jump over it. Jump over the camera. 15 00:00:53,182 --> 00:00:54,492 Jump over the camera. 16 00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:58,598 Okay, we all go together or we go one at a time. 17 00:00:58,767 --> 00:00:59,817 Here it is. 18 00:00:59,942 --> 00:01:01,763 Truck to refrigerators, 19 00:01:02,118 --> 00:01:03,228 to dumpster, 20 00:01:03,509 --> 00:01:07,419 360 spin onto the pallets, backflip gainer into the trash can. 21 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:11,432 - Hardcore parkour! - Hardcore parkour! 22 00:01:11,557 --> 00:01:14,152 - I'm right behind you! Come on! - Let's do it! 23 00:01:18,603 --> 00:01:19,603 Parkour. 24 00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:24,874 - Feygnasse Team - 25 00:01:25,042 --> 00:01:27,919 - La Fabrique - 26 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,797 {\pos(306,200)}{\a7}Collioure 27 00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,966 {\pos(306,215)}{\a7}Jarick 28 00:01:33,134 --> 00:01:34,551 {\pos(306,215)}{\a7}do_Ob 29 00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:36,052 {\pos(306,215)}{\a7}Sk0r 30 00:01:36,220 --> 00:01:37,846 {\pos(306,215)}{\a7}yomoy 31 00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:39,531 {\pos(306,215)}{\a7}The Ni.Knight 32 00:01:41,089 --> 00:01:42,976 {\pos(315,230)} Episode 6x01 Gossip 33 00:01:43,641 --> 00:01:44,641 Good. 34 00:01:46,879 --> 00:01:47,879 Excellent. 35 00:01:49,237 --> 00:01:50,066 {\pos(115,260)}Thank you. 36 00:01:51,032 --> 00:01:53,153 Here you go. Is there anything else I can do? 37 00:02:03,543 --> 00:02:05,248 {\pos(115,260)}See those files behind Kevin's desk? 38 00:02:06,083 --> 00:02:07,845 {\pos(115,260)}Go put them all in random order. 39 00:02:08,892 --> 00:02:10,876 {\pos(115,260)}Then come back here for your next assignment 40 00:02:11,001 --> 00:02:12,459 {\pos(115,260)}concerning their order. 41 00:02:12,584 --> 00:02:15,284 {\pos(115,260)}This is the last day of our summer interns. 42 00:02:15,473 --> 00:02:18,473 {\pos(110,240)}It's been nice. We haven't had interns in a while 43 00:02:18,749 --> 00:02:20,889 {\pos(110,240)}ever since Michael's Monica Lewinsky incident. 44 00:02:21,484 --> 00:02:23,101 {\pos(115,260)}He didn't do anything sexual. 45 00:02:23,392 --> 00:02:26,436 {\pos(115,260)}He just made far, far too many Monica Lewinsky jokes. 46 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:29,773 {\pos(115,260)}It was just easier for corporate to shutdown the program. 47 00:02:32,278 --> 00:02:34,396 {\pos(115,260)}- Think she did him? - {\I bet }There's something there. 48 00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:35,962 {\pos(115,260)}I was{\with them} in the kitchen yesterday 49 00:02:36,087 --> 00:02:38,218 {\pos(115,260)}and they were{\all } too happy to be cleaning the freezer. 50 00:02:38,343 --> 00:02:40,825 {\pos(115,260)}If they get married before I do, I'm gonna kill myself. 51 00:02:40,993 --> 00:02:43,243 - Who's getting married? - Nobody. 52 00:02:44,057 --> 00:02:45,830 {\pos(110,260)}{\Somebody doesn't tell me,} I'm gonna start screaming. 53 00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:46,998 {\It's }Eric and Megan. 54 00:02:47,479 --> 00:02:48,629 {\pos(115,260)}I hired them. 55 00:02:49,219 --> 00:02:50,265 {\pos(115,260)}Matchmaker. 56 00:02:51,179 --> 00:02:52,756 {\pos(115,260)}This place is like Spaniard fly. 57 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:54,839 They're not getting married. It's just talk. 58 00:02:55,007 --> 00:02:56,591 {\Did }Everybody knows about this but me? 59 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,635 {\pos(115,260)}There's nothing to know. It's {\just }gossip. 60 00:03:03,314 --> 00:03:05,074 {\pos(115,260)}We haven't told anyone that I'm pregnant. 61 00:03:05,199 --> 00:03:08,299 {\pos(115,260)}What with her being unmarried. Knocked up by some guy. 62 00:03:08,424 --> 00:03:10,793 {\pos(192,220)}{\I mean, }The yakkity-yaks in this office would have a field day. 63 00:03:10,918 --> 00:03:12,843 {\pos(192,220)}{\Yeah, and }We don't want them at the wedding thinking 64 00:03:12,968 --> 00:03:16,150 {\pos(192,220)}Jim's being marched down the aisle by my dad with a shotgun. 65 00:03:17,088 --> 00:03:19,419 Wait, there's not gonna be a shotgun? 66 00:03:19,544 --> 00:03:20,594 No shotgun? 67 00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:24,390 - 'Cause that changes everything. - Can't back out now, Halpert. 68 00:03:24,515 --> 00:03:27,915 What are you gonna do about it? There's no shotgun, so... 69 00:03:29,053 --> 00:03:30,903 Free at last. Free at last. 70 00:03:32,409 --> 00:03:33,659 No, keep it up. 71 00:03:35,071 --> 00:03:36,836 You'll never guess what I know. 72 00:03:36,961 --> 00:03:38,383 Let me finish this thought. 73 00:03:38,659 --> 00:03:40,009 Eric likes Megan. 74 00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:42,637 He most definitely does. 75 00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:45,974 He's been asking her out{\ repeatedly} for weeks. She finally said yes. 76 00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:49,477 They went out {\on a quick date }the other night. Apparently it went very well. 77 00:03:50,078 --> 00:03:52,184 - How do you know this? - People tell me things. 78 00:03:52,309 --> 00:03:54,244 I guess I have a face you can trust. 79 00:03:54,369 --> 00:03:57,048 I think it's because of my low cheekbones. 80 00:03:57,173 --> 00:03:58,342 And... 81 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:00,989 Okay, what is it? What can't I guess? 82 00:04:01,926 --> 00:04:04,282 I hate, hate, hate being left out. 83 00:04:04,866 --> 00:04:07,595 Whether it's not being picked for a team 84 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:10,253 or being picked for a team and then showing up 85 00:04:10,378 --> 00:04:12,978 and realizing that the team doesn't exist 86 00:04:13,599 --> 00:04:15,699 or that the sport doesn't exist. 87 00:04:16,314 --> 00:04:18,314 I should have known. Poopball? 88 00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:22,571 Man, I know how you feel. Third wheel. 89 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,513 I have been the third wheel so many times in my life. 90 00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:29,648 My mom told me something once that made me feel {\a lot }better. She said... 91 00:04:29,773 --> 00:04:32,723 the third wheel is what makes it a tricycle. 92 00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:36,566 - What are you talking about? - {\I am talking about }Your group date with Megan and Eric. 93 00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:39,319 At Tink's? How'd you know about that? 94 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,037 Did Stanley tell you? 95 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,823 Stanley was on your group date? 96 00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:47,744 No, Stanley was with his wife. I waved at him but he didn't wave back. 97 00:04:50,126 --> 00:04:52,326 Does anybody else know about this? 98 00:04:55,961 --> 00:04:57,161 There he goes. 99 00:04:59,905 --> 00:05:02,955 So what is the scuttlebutt? Anybody hear anything? 100 00:05:05,201 --> 00:05:06,095 Nothing? 101 00:05:06,263 --> 00:05:08,428 I got a little something-something. 102 00:05:08,553 --> 00:05:11,333 - I don't know if I should say. - So just keep it to yourself then. 103 00:05:11,458 --> 00:05:13,686 Stanley is having a midlife crisis. 104 00:05:13,854 --> 00:05:15,758 Stanley is way past the middle of his life, 105 00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,690 {\especially }considering his height to weight ratio. 106 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,234 Apparently he and his wife 107 00:05:20,359 --> 00:05:23,029 were out dancing at a club for young people. 108 00:05:23,197 --> 00:05:24,697 Teri's out of town. 109 00:05:24,865 --> 00:05:26,849 - Who? - Stanley's wife, Teri. 110 00:05:26,974 --> 00:05:29,661 She's at an interior decorating expo in Philly. 111 00:05:30,007 --> 00:05:32,657 And Stanley hates crowds, kids, and music. 112 00:05:33,007 --> 00:05:35,307 I think you should check your facts. 113 00:05:42,099 --> 00:05:45,260 You stupid son of a bitch. You set me up. 114 00:05:45,667 --> 00:05:48,304 - What are you talking about? - Stanley's wife is out of town. 115 00:05:48,472 --> 00:05:50,493 - He was with somebody. - {\He was }Definitely{\ with someone}. 116 00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:52,873 Was he? Who, his sister? 117 00:05:54,342 --> 00:05:55,353 I don't get it! 118 00:05:56,149 --> 00:05:59,368 If that was his sister, then what they were doing was{\ totally } illegal. 119 00:06:00,058 --> 00:06:00,858 Drugs? 120 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:03,533 Making out. 121 00:06:15,966 --> 00:06:17,131 No, it's okay. 122 00:06:17,857 --> 00:06:19,168 Never mind. Carry on. 123 00:06:19,336 --> 00:06:21,236 Stanley is having an affair. 124 00:06:21,361 --> 00:06:22,505 - What? - I know. 125 00:06:22,630 --> 00:06:24,405 I am very happy right now, 126 00:06:24,530 --> 00:06:26,030 thrilled perhaps, 127 00:06:26,310 --> 00:06:29,387 to be a part of the office, to be a part of the conversation. 128 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:32,966 When you have somebody's attention and their eyes are lighting up 129 00:06:33,091 --> 00:06:35,834 because they are very interested in what you have to say, 130 00:06:35,959 --> 00:06:39,443 that is a great feeling and I experienced that firsthand today. 131 00:06:39,568 --> 00:06:42,692 It is wonderful to be the center of attention. 132 00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:45,057 That and that are the same letter. 133 00:06:45,182 --> 00:06:46,182 "Q". 134 00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:50,610 He's holding a pencil. 135 00:06:50,735 --> 00:06:53,244 He could be doing a crossword puzzle with that pencil. 136 00:06:53,412 --> 00:06:56,832 What's that letter right there? Same letter here and here. 137 00:06:56,957 --> 00:06:58,750 - What haven't you guessed? - "T". 138 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,076 "T", yes! 139 00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:03,613 That is a "t" 140 00:07:03,738 --> 00:07:06,038 and there's another one right there. 141 00:07:06,258 --> 00:07:08,760 Just sound that out. You're almost there. 142 00:07:10,867 --> 00:07:12,930 Where you going, big guy? Up to no good? 143 00:07:13,098 --> 00:07:15,099 I'm meeting a client. Do you have a problem{\ with that}? 144 00:07:16,022 --> 00:07:19,466 I just had a quick question for you. I'm casting 145 00:07:19,591 --> 00:07:22,346 a movie and I'm looking for a woman who can dance. 146 00:07:22,471 --> 00:07:24,526 Beautiful woman. Do you know anybody? 147 00:07:24,651 --> 00:07:25,568 Good-bye. 148 00:07:25,855 --> 00:07:27,155 Pays $5 million. 149 00:07:27,553 --> 00:07:28,853 Nudity required. 150 00:07:29,156 --> 00:07:30,406 You have to stop this. 151 00:07:30,574 --> 00:07:32,533 Did you hear? Stanley's having an affair. 152 00:07:32,701 --> 00:07:35,203 I did from you. You got to stop telling people. 153 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:36,392 Okay, I get it. 154 00:07:36,517 --> 00:07:38,793 You feel out of the loop and {\you feel }sorry for yourself 155 00:07:38,918 --> 00:07:41,250 and it's really sad, {\because }everybody thinks you're a loser. 156 00:07:41,418 --> 00:07:44,378 Do you even know if it's true? Do you have any idea? Because... 157 00:07:44,658 --> 00:07:46,297 you might be ruining his life. 158 00:07:52,232 --> 00:07:53,582 Hold up! Hold up! 159 00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:58,184 Time to stop being polite and get real. 160 00:07:59,488 --> 00:08:00,913 You having an affair? 161 00:08:02,314 --> 00:08:05,659 That is ridiculous. Of course not. Why would you think that? 162 00:08:05,784 --> 00:08:07,134 So it's not true. 163 00:08:10,768 --> 00:08:14,659 Those interns. They told me they saw you at the club 164 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:17,977 and they all said it was you. It was clearly just... 165 00:08:19,103 --> 00:08:20,985 racial profiling gossip. 166 00:08:21,110 --> 00:08:22,767 - The little... - Damn! 167 00:08:23,649 --> 00:08:27,171 - Told her it was a stupid idea{\to go up in that club}. - That's so stupid. 168 00:08:27,506 --> 00:08:28,856 It's just that... 169 00:08:29,738 --> 00:08:32,677 - Teri's been traveling a lot lately. - I know. 170 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,079 - It's been lonely. - I bet. 171 00:08:35,472 --> 00:08:37,431 Cynthia's been keeping me company. 172 00:08:37,599 --> 00:08:39,067 She was my nurse 173 00:08:39,192 --> 00:08:41,142 when I was in rehabilitation. 174 00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:44,605 We used to go on these long walks on the treadmill. 175 00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:48,318 I didn't intend... 176 00:08:48,443 --> 00:08:49,793 Wait, wait, wait. 177 00:08:52,189 --> 00:08:53,156 So it is true? 178 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:54,954 But I'm going to go break it off. 179 00:08:55,079 --> 00:08:57,368 That's where I'm headed right now, I swear. 180 00:08:57,536 --> 00:08:59,836 Wait a second. Do people often say they're going 181 00:08:59,961 --> 00:09:02,229 on sales calls and then go someplace else? 182 00:09:02,354 --> 00:09:03,374 {\'cause }That's not cool. 183 00:09:03,542 --> 00:09:07,485 I just need you to promise not to say a word about this to anyone. 184 00:09:08,546 --> 00:09:09,714 Michael, please. 185 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:12,925 - I'm not saying a damn thing. - I'm counting on you, Michael. 186 00:09:13,498 --> 00:09:14,998 You can count on me. 187 00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:21,346 That smells good. 188 00:09:21,471 --> 00:09:24,544 I might have extra. It just depends on how many I eat. 189 00:09:24,712 --> 00:09:26,713 Did you hear about Angela? That's {\pretty }weird. 190 00:09:28,923 --> 00:09:30,300 {\pos(192,240)}What do you mean exactly? 191 00:09:31,081 --> 00:09:33,088 {\pos(192,240)}The fact that she apparently is dating 192 00:09:33,213 --> 00:09:35,233 {\pos(192,240)}an 81-year-old billionaire 193 00:09:35,710 --> 00:09:37,557 {\pos(192,240)}who owns a Quiznos on the turnpike. 194 00:09:38,072 --> 00:09:38,850 {\pos(192,240)}Really? 195 00:09:41,104 --> 00:09:41,827 {\pos(192,240)}Right? 196 00:09:41,952 --> 00:09:44,057 {\pos(192,240)}How do you untell something? 197 00:09:44,182 --> 00:09:45,182 You can't. 198 00:09:45,979 --> 00:09:48,192 You can't put words back in your mouth. 199 00:09:48,317 --> 00:09:49,567 What you can do 200 00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:52,568 is spread false gossip 201 00:09:53,630 --> 00:09:56,827 so that people think that everything that's been said is untrue, 202 00:09:56,952 --> 00:09:59,402 including Stanley is having an affair. 203 00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:05,018 It's like the end of Spartacus. I've seen that movie half a dozen times 204 00:10:05,143 --> 00:10:07,822 and I still don't know who the real Spartacus is. 205 00:10:07,947 --> 00:10:11,597 And that is what makes that movie a classic whodunit. 206 00:10:12,635 --> 00:10:15,386 Kelly has an eating disorder. She always eats my lunch. 207 00:10:15,554 --> 00:10:17,190 Anorexia. She's ana... 208 00:10:17,315 --> 00:10:18,765 She's an "anorexitec." 209 00:10:18,933 --> 00:10:21,213 - We should do something. - Nothing can be done. 210 00:10:21,338 --> 00:10:23,878 Just have to tell everybody and hope for the best, I guess. 211 00:10:25,510 --> 00:10:26,731 I'm worried about Erin 212 00:10:27,205 --> 00:10:30,670 because she's not a very good worker. I don't know how long she's gonna last{\ here}. 213 00:10:30,795 --> 00:10:31,795 Really? 214 00:10:33,009 --> 00:10:33,759 So... 215 00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:34,934 And Andy... 216 00:10:35,178 --> 00:10:36,123 is gay. 217 00:10:38,285 --> 00:10:39,827 Did you hear Pam is pregnant? 218 00:10:41,435 --> 00:10:42,372 Really? 219 00:10:44,359 --> 00:10:46,134 She's gonna hate being a mom. 220 00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:54,175 What? 221 00:10:54,343 --> 00:10:55,343 Tea. 222 00:10:55,970 --> 00:10:57,552 - So? - You would. 223 00:10:58,173 --> 00:10:59,223 I like tea. 224 00:11:00,083 --> 00:11:01,483 I bet you like it. 225 00:11:03,352 --> 00:11:04,907 I like it a lot. 226 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,359 I love tea. 227 00:11:06,484 --> 00:11:09,649 Do you like it as much as you like men's butts? 228 00:11:09,858 --> 00:11:10,618 What? 229 00:11:11,258 --> 00:11:12,655 'Cause you're gay. 230 00:11:14,643 --> 00:11:16,043 Who told you that? 231 00:11:16,997 --> 00:11:18,157 Was it Broccoli Rob? 232 00:11:18,848 --> 00:11:20,398 Someone from Chi Psi? 233 00:11:20,619 --> 00:11:22,507 Did you run in someone from my high school? 234 00:11:22,632 --> 00:11:23,996 This is not the first time 235 00:11:24,164 --> 00:11:26,664 rumors about me being gay have come up. 236 00:11:27,035 --> 00:11:28,685 Twice before, actually. 237 00:11:29,566 --> 00:11:31,316 Just a weird coincidence. 238 00:11:32,645 --> 00:11:34,345 It's a little too weird. 239 00:11:37,534 --> 00:11:40,583 Almost makes you wonder if it's not a coincidence at all. 240 00:11:41,387 --> 00:11:42,747 Which it is, of course. 241 00:11:44,532 --> 00:11:45,948 But it makes you wonder. 242 00:11:47,062 --> 00:11:48,766 Did you hear the rumor about me? 243 00:11:49,565 --> 00:11:50,715 That I'm gay? 244 00:11:50,979 --> 00:11:51,824 I did. 245 00:11:53,098 --> 00:11:54,098 And? 246 00:11:54,661 --> 00:11:55,661 What? 247 00:11:57,085 --> 00:12:00,035 Do you think it's true? Do you think that I'm... 248 00:12:00,466 --> 00:12:01,242 gay? 249 00:12:01,410 --> 00:12:02,869 Are you attracted to other men? 250 00:12:08,417 --> 00:12:09,834 Let me kick you a scenario. 251 00:12:10,002 --> 00:12:12,079 I'm at, like, a beach cabana 252 00:12:12,204 --> 00:12:14,255 and Brad Pitt approaches, 253 00:12:14,423 --> 00:12:16,373 tries to lean in and kiss me. 254 00:12:18,223 --> 00:12:20,367 I would definitely resist, 255 00:12:20,492 --> 00:12:21,634 like, at first. 256 00:12:22,256 --> 00:12:24,006 But if he was persistent, 257 00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:26,026 I might... 258 00:12:26,151 --> 00:12:29,270 give in a little bit to just really see what it felt like. 259 00:12:30,003 --> 00:12:31,664 Would I push him away? 260 00:12:31,789 --> 00:12:32,789 How hard? 261 00:12:33,396 --> 00:12:35,777 Like, what if he's, like, really aggressive? 262 00:12:35,945 --> 00:12:38,575 If you resisted Brad Pitt a little bit, 263 00:12:38,700 --> 00:12:40,050 he would still... 264 00:12:40,774 --> 00:12:43,345 - need to get to you? - This is not real Brad Pitt. 265 00:12:43,470 --> 00:12:46,056 This is, like, in my... This is my fantasy. 266 00:12:46,181 --> 00:12:48,839 Or it's, like, not fantasy. It's, like, what I'm... 267 00:12:48,964 --> 00:12:50,124 It's a scenario. 268 00:12:52,154 --> 00:12:54,096 I wish I could help you. I don't... 269 00:12:54,221 --> 00:12:55,379 You might be gay. 270 00:12:55,784 --> 00:12:57,134 You might be gay. 271 00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:01,582 What exactly is my responsibility here? 272 00:13:01,762 --> 00:13:04,203 To comfort insecure heterosexual men? 273 00:13:04,328 --> 00:13:06,349 That can't possibly fall to me. 274 00:13:06,517 --> 00:13:08,017 - How far {\along }is Pam? - A few months. 275 00:13:08,185 --> 00:13:10,484 That's why they're rushing the wedding. 276 00:13:10,609 --> 00:13:12,360 You can't believe everything you hear. 277 00:13:12,485 --> 00:13:14,485 Like Stanley having an affair. 278 00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:15,961 That is crazy. 279 00:13:16,201 --> 00:13:17,993 Just there's no stock in it. 280 00:13:18,118 --> 00:13:20,129 It's a weird day for false facts. 281 00:13:20,254 --> 00:13:21,113 Let it go. 282 00:13:21,488 --> 00:13:22,754 OK, everybody. 283 00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:25,701 Big day. Last day for our interns. 284 00:13:26,010 --> 00:13:27,411 Lot of other stuff. 285 00:13:27,579 --> 00:13:29,823 Who knows what to believe? 286 00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:31,893 Dwight, the honors. 287 00:13:32,861 --> 00:13:35,586 Present these to the dean for credit. 288 00:13:36,146 --> 00:13:37,983 And as a gift, I've attached my card. 289 00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,007 Call me anytime of the day or night. 290 00:13:40,409 --> 00:13:42,096 Why would we call you at night? 291 00:13:42,715 --> 00:13:45,227 Now you can't call me at all, so problem solved. 292 00:13:45,352 --> 00:13:48,530 You {\'re gonna}will regret {\that }when you find yourself between a moose and her cubs{\ at night}. 293 00:13:49,205 --> 00:13:50,810 Look to the intern on your left. 294 00:13:51,170 --> 00:13:52,282 Now to your right. 295 00:13:52,407 --> 00:13:54,494 One of you will do exceedingly well in business. 296 00:13:54,857 --> 00:13:56,316 Just unlimited potential. 297 00:13:56,804 --> 00:13:59,704 One of you will make a living and nothing more. 298 00:14:00,202 --> 00:14:01,402 And one of you 299 00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:03,528 will make a great mother. 300 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,268 It's up to you to choose which you want to be. 301 00:14:10,643 --> 00:14:12,451 I am so happy you're eating again. 302 00:14:12,576 --> 00:14:13,576 Me too. 303 00:14:13,870 --> 00:14:16,419 Dude, how come you never try to set me up? 304 00:14:16,587 --> 00:14:19,755 I don't really do that. Pam might have some friends though. 305 00:14:19,923 --> 00:14:21,123 Women friends? 306 00:14:21,673 --> 00:14:22,878 Not guy friends? 307 00:14:23,382 --> 00:14:25,553 Are you interested in her guy friends? 308 00:14:26,728 --> 00:14:28,828 For the record, I prefer women. 309 00:14:28,953 --> 00:14:31,267 But off the record, I'm kind of confused. 310 00:14:31,992 --> 00:14:32,894 Really? 311 00:14:33,062 --> 00:14:34,945 The evidence is {\sort of }stacked against me, 312 00:14:35,070 --> 00:14:36,105 I feel like. 313 00:14:36,273 --> 00:14:39,442 - You got to figure this out. - Yeah, right? How? 314 00:14:39,610 --> 00:14:41,318 You got to have sex with a woman. 315 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,780 - Right-o. - And then a man and then compare. 316 00:14:47,977 --> 00:14:48,977 All right. 317 00:14:50,332 --> 00:14:52,307 - Congratulations to you. - On what? 318 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:54,160 Come on. 319 00:14:54,819 --> 00:14:55,991 Little baby tuna. 320 00:14:56,624 --> 00:14:58,650 Little junior toro. 321 00:15:02,007 --> 00:15:04,900 A baby conceived out of wedlock is still a bastard. 322 00:15:05,599 --> 00:15:06,344 What? 323 00:15:06,964 --> 00:15:08,179 Want me to say it again? 324 00:15:08,347 --> 00:15:10,598 - Why did that come into your brain? - Can I talk to you? 325 00:15:12,983 --> 00:15:14,393 So they know. 326 00:15:14,561 --> 00:15:16,812 - Who did you tell? - I didn't tell anyone. And you? 327 00:15:16,980 --> 00:15:17,967 Nobody. 328 00:15:18,092 --> 00:15:21,759 Did one of you tell Stanley that I have asthma, 'cause I don't. 329 00:15:22,082 --> 00:15:24,362 If it gets out, they won't let me scuba. 330 00:15:24,530 --> 00:15:25,880 If I can't scuba, 331 00:15:26,263 --> 00:15:29,450 then what's this all been about? What am I working toward? 332 00:15:29,618 --> 00:15:30,409 What? 333 00:15:30,829 --> 00:15:33,217 You think I'm the voice of the Taco Bell Dog? 334 00:15:34,082 --> 00:15:35,289 What are you talking about? 335 00:15:35,457 --> 00:15:37,897 I have a daughter. How could I be a virgin? 336 00:15:38,022 --> 00:15:41,295 Has everyone heard a crazy rumor about themselves today? 337 00:15:42,744 --> 00:15:44,894 You know what? Let's discredit these rumors. 338 00:15:45,019 --> 00:15:47,176 Sure, but who's been saying all that stuff? 339 00:15:47,344 --> 00:15:50,554 That's not important, {\I just think }We shouldn't listen to {\any of }this crap. 340 00:15:50,722 --> 00:15:52,431 We should get to the bottom of this. 341 00:15:52,599 --> 00:15:54,433 Let's pick a rumor and trace it back{\to the beginning}. 342 00:15:54,601 --> 00:15:56,301 I need to do mine first. 343 00:15:56,641 --> 00:16:00,244 Who's been saying that there's another person inside of me 344 00:16:00,369 --> 00:16:02,505 working me with controls? 345 00:16:02,901 --> 00:16:04,652 I heard that from Andy. 346 00:16:05,148 --> 00:16:06,698 I heard it from Erin. 347 00:16:07,637 --> 00:16:09,337 I heard it from Michael. 348 00:16:16,865 --> 00:16:18,115 He's over here! 349 00:16:18,731 --> 00:16:20,039 - Where you going? - Nowhere. 350 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:27,651 You told people that I use store-bought manure 351 00:16:29,038 --> 00:16:31,721 when I showed you where my manure comes from. 352 00:16:35,819 --> 00:16:37,725 {\pos(192,240)}- Don't get on it. - Michael, don't. 353 00:16:37,893 --> 00:16:39,303 {\pos(192,240)}Don't get on. 354 00:16:39,729 --> 00:16:40,729 {\pos(192,240)}Do not. 355 00:16:41,605 --> 00:16:43,522 {\pos(192,240)}- Stay, Michael. - Step away. 356 00:16:43,744 --> 00:16:44,944 {\pos(192,240)}Come on, boss. 357 00:16:47,623 --> 00:16:49,219 {\pos(192,240)}Okay, I made it all up. 358 00:16:49,344 --> 00:16:50,314 {\pos(192,240)}What? 359 00:16:50,439 --> 00:16:52,364 Even the fact that I'm gay? 360 00:16:53,909 --> 00:16:56,059 But, guys, I'm a victim here too. 361 00:16:57,037 --> 00:16:59,329 People have been saying that I am a J. Crew model. 362 00:16:59,497 --> 00:17:01,290 No, we heard that about Jim. 363 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,263 I spread the rumor that somebody was a J. Crew model 364 00:17:05,388 --> 00:17:06,962 and I was referring to myself. 365 00:17:07,130 --> 00:17:10,537 - How is that a bad rumor? - 'Cause people think that models, 366 00:17:10,662 --> 00:17:13,814 even though they're very attractive are somewhat vapid. 367 00:17:13,939 --> 00:17:15,637 It set our industry back quite a bit. 368 00:17:15,805 --> 00:17:18,140 Michael, why? Why say all these things? 369 00:17:18,265 --> 00:17:21,069 Why make up an eating disorder, Stanley's affair, 370 00:17:21,194 --> 00:17:22,643 me being a spokes dog? 371 00:17:22,812 --> 00:17:25,022 You told everyone I was having an affair? 372 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:26,609 Here's the thing. 373 00:17:27,734 --> 00:17:29,683 There was one true rumor out there today. 374 00:17:29,808 --> 00:17:32,199 I didn't want everybody to know what it was, 375 00:17:32,324 --> 00:17:35,741 so all of you are off the hook except for this one person. 376 00:17:35,909 --> 00:17:37,884 Well, then what's the one true rumor? 377 00:17:38,009 --> 00:17:39,709 We have a right to know. 378 00:17:40,923 --> 00:17:41,923 Am I gay? 379 00:17:43,416 --> 00:17:44,789 The one true rumor... 380 00:17:45,456 --> 00:17:47,414 This is gonna ruin this person's life, is... 381 00:17:47,539 --> 00:17:48,793 That Pam's pregnant. 382 00:17:48,918 --> 00:17:50,718 - I knew it. - I knew it. 383 00:17:51,224 --> 00:17:53,550 Her breasts were a tiny bit bigger. 384 00:17:53,718 --> 00:17:55,089 At first I thought, 385 00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:57,422 she has a new bra with padding. 386 00:17:57,547 --> 00:18:01,045 But then I thought, Pam doesn't need padding. 387 00:18:01,685 --> 00:18:03,535 It just didn't add up, Jim. 388 00:18:04,807 --> 00:18:06,666 - Congratulations. - That's really great{\, you guys}. 389 00:18:06,791 --> 00:18:08,524 - Don't vaccinate it. - Who's the father? 390 00:18:09,335 --> 00:18:11,182 - How far along? - Four months. 391 00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:12,877 - Who's the ob-gyn? - Stop. 392 00:18:13,002 --> 00:18:14,421 All right, you know... 393 00:18:14,890 --> 00:18:16,313 This is not the truth 394 00:18:16,438 --> 00:18:18,561 and you can't fall on a sword this way. 395 00:18:18,994 --> 00:18:20,953 The real thing is that Stanley Hudson 396 00:18:21,121 --> 00:18:22,292 had an affair. 397 00:18:23,812 --> 00:18:27,403 Thank you to defend us, but actually, Pam is pregnant and we can prove it. 398 00:18:27,528 --> 00:18:29,578 If you would like to see proof. 399 00:18:31,093 --> 00:18:33,715 - Just gonna wait for her? - What's the "proof" mean? 400 00:18:38,143 --> 00:18:39,762 - There it is! - It's true! 401 00:18:40,708 --> 00:18:41,858 Look at that! 402 00:18:42,519 --> 00:18:44,939 That is the inside of your vagina. 403 00:18:45,064 --> 00:18:46,854 That's not how it works, but... 404 00:18:47,022 --> 00:18:49,764 It's clear why we were trying not to tell people. 405 00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:51,277 That's clear now. 406 00:18:57,249 --> 00:18:59,728 How long have you known about the pregnancy? 407 00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:01,860 A week? Month? 408 00:19:02,983 --> 00:19:03,787 A year? 409 00:19:04,466 --> 00:19:06,540 We only told our parents last week. 410 00:19:06,708 --> 00:19:08,931 - Did you pee on a stick? - I did. 411 00:19:09,379 --> 00:19:10,669 But it was inconclusive. 412 00:19:11,293 --> 00:19:12,546 You should have told me. 413 00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:15,825 You're right. 414 00:19:16,225 --> 00:19:18,927 We should have realized that you are an equal part of this. 415 00:19:22,341 --> 00:19:24,941 Michael, Teri Hudson returning your call. 416 00:19:25,536 --> 00:19:27,144 You called Stanley's wife? 417 00:19:29,415 --> 00:19:31,962 A long time ago. Just to make sure she was out of town. 418 00:19:32,087 --> 00:19:33,692 - God. - Don't take it. 419 00:19:33,860 --> 00:19:35,624 I have to take it or it'll seem suspicious. 420 00:19:35,749 --> 00:19:38,010 If you talk to her, you're gonna tell her{\ about Stanley} 421 00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,699 - and that's gonna seem more suspicious. - I can do this. 422 00:19:40,867 --> 00:19:43,753 - You can't do this. - I can. I am going to tell her 423 00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:47,146 that I need to redecorate my condo and I need her help. 424 00:19:47,271 --> 00:19:50,075 We will haggle about money and I will back down 425 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,420 and then I won't talk to her until this Cynthia thing's blown over. 426 00:19:53,588 --> 00:19:55,503 - Sounds terrible. - Please don't. 427 00:19:56,138 --> 00:19:57,440 What up, Cynthia? 428 00:20:04,773 --> 00:20:06,521 Just hang on a second, Cynthia. 429 00:20:16,611 --> 00:20:18,721 It turns out that Teri was already suspicious 430 00:20:18,846 --> 00:20:21,095 because she had caught Stanley 431 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,988 and Cynthia a few months ago. 432 00:20:23,289 --> 00:20:24,739 So Stanley promised 433 00:20:25,312 --> 00:20:27,245 that he would stop and he did. 434 00:20:27,370 --> 00:20:28,920 End of story. Well... 435 00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:30,701 not exactly. 436 00:20:32,043 --> 00:20:33,669 Cynthia kept calling him. 437 00:20:33,837 --> 00:20:36,422 She would not stop calling him and she was in love with him. 438 00:20:36,547 --> 00:20:37,464 And get this. 439 00:20:37,632 --> 00:20:39,232 Cynthia? Also married. 440 00:20:39,615 --> 00:20:40,616 So... 441 00:20:41,219 --> 00:20:43,790 you can't stop love, I guess. 442 00:20:44,378 --> 00:20:45,660 And quite frankly, 443 00:20:45,785 --> 00:20:48,285 I don't think you should ever even try. 444 00:20:51,854 --> 00:20:54,255 {\pos(192,210)}I learned that a company can describe an internship 445 00:20:54,380 --> 00:20:56,530 {\pos(192,210)} as full of exciting experiences, 446 00:20:57,368 --> 00:20:58,622 {\pos(192,210)}even if that's a lie. 447 00:20:58,747 --> 00:21:00,361 {\pos(192,210)}There's no regulation. 448 00:21:00,486 --> 00:21:02,602 {\pos(192,210)}I learned that half these people's email password 449 00:21:02,727 --> 00:21:03,927 {\pos(192,210)}is "password." 450 00:21:04,242 --> 00:21:07,377 {\pos(192,210)}I learned that a ream of paper is 300 sheets. 451 00:21:07,502 --> 00:21:09,052 {\pos(192,210)}I thought it was 500. 452 00:21:11,539 --> 00:21:13,461 {\pos(192,210)}I guess I didn't learn anything. 453 00:21:14,776 --> 00:21:17,339 {\pos(192,210)}I learned that if you look even the tiniest bit like Jet Li 454 00:21:18,164 --> 00:21:20,781 {\pos(192,210)} Michael will call you Jet Li all summer. 455 00:21:20,948 --> 00:21:23,101 {\pos(192,210)}- Julia Stiles. - Alan Thicke. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net