1
00:00:01,900 --> 00:00:03,500
Could you please sign
my expense report?
2
00:00:03,700 --> 00:00:04,600
No way, no how.
3
00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:07,800
Expense reports are a day-to-day
item. That is jim's now.
4
00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:11,300
I am exclusively
big picture, epic.
5
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,600
- Sign this.
- Ah, ah, ah.
6
00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:23,100
Where's the "please"?
We're not animals.
7
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:24,300
Sign it.
8
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,700
No, not without a "please. "
9
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:28,900
Idiot.
10
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:33,700
I have a complaint about jim.
11
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,000
That is not big picture.
12
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:41,400
I would like to file a huge,
enormous, massive complaint
13
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:44,700
about the tallest guy
in our office.
14
00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:51,400
Okay.
15
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,300
Jim won't sign
my expense report.
16
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,000
That is not... Okay...
17
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:57,300
- That is day-to-day.
- No, that his huge.
18
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,700
- You're trying to trick me.
Get out, get out, get out.
- This has to do...
19
00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:01,500
Get out, get out.
20
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:05,900
I'd like to lodge a complaint.
21
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,200
I'm sorry to hear about that.
22
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:08,200
Who is this about?
23
00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:09,200
- You!
- Okay.
24
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,000
Just want to let you know
I take complaints very seriously.
25
00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:14,600
So... When did this happen?
26
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,600
- One minute ago.
- Okay.
27
00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:18,300
And how do you feel?
28
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:20,400
- Angry.
- - All right. Did he hit you?
29
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,200
- No.
- Did you cry?
30
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:23,600
- No.
- Did you feel like crying?
31
00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:27,100
- No.
- I'm just gonna write,
"held back tears. "
32
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,300
Wait, stop writing that.
That is not true.
33
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:30,500
If you stop crying,
i'll stop writing it.
34
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,100
I'm not cr...
Uhh!
35
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:36,100
I deserved that promotion,
not jim.
36
00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:37,700
Oh, man.
37
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,600
Makes me want to put him
in a triangle choke hold and
38
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:45,300
force him down to the ground and
just keep pressing and pressing.
39
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:48,100
And then flip him over and then
put him in a hammer lock.
40
00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:51,200
And he's gasping, he's panting.
Every last breath.
41
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,200
And the crowd is going crazy.
42
00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:55,600
And boom!
I emerge victorious!
43
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,000
Aha!
44
00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:59,800
$18,000 and a chance
at the title.
45
00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:01,500
Ooh hah!
46
00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:03,800
Dwight, jim wants you
to keep it down.
47
00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:15,400
www.1000fr.com presents
48
00:02:23,900 --> 00:02:31,900
Sync:mzinfo@FRS
49
00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:38,700
the Office s06e03
50
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:41,100
Everyone, now would be
a good time to freshen up,
51
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:44,300
because I'd like everyone to meet in
the conference room in five minutes.
52
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,200
And I suggest that you bring a snack,
because we may be in there for a while.
53
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,300
- Michael...
- Yes?
54
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:49,800
- Can I talk to you
in my office for a second?
- Mmm,
55
00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:52,800
sure, but could I first
talk to you in my office?
56
00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:57,900
Can I also be a boss?
57
00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:03,100
Look, it doesn't take a genius to know that
any organization thrives when it has two leaders.
58
00:03:03,900 --> 00:03:06,200
Go ahead, name a country that
doesn't have two presidents.
59
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,000
A boat that sets sail
without two captains.
60
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,900
Where would catholicism be
without the popes?
61
00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:13,600
I have noticed that we...
62
00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:15,000
Welcome.
63
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,000
Thank you.
64
00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:18,800
I've noticed we've been having
a lot of conference room meetings.
65
00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:22,200
And I'm wondering if perhaps
those are a bit, um...
66
00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:23,500
- Disruptive.
- Yes.
67
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:25,500
No, I don't think they are.
68
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,900
I think the meetings
are very important.
69
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,200
Okay, maybe we should
talk specifics.
70
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:31,900
- Let's do.
- Okay.
71
00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:34,400
Yesterday, we had a meeting
about planets.
72
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,200
N... Well, to be fair, jim...
73
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:38,800
James...
74
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,100
Jimothy...
75
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:43,200
To be fair, jimothy, the...
Ah, that sounds weird.
76
00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:44,600
Are you okay
with being called jim?
77
00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:45,800
- I am.
- All right.
78
00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:47,200
Jim, to be fair,
79
00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:49,600
- the conversation wasn't
about planets...
- Right.
80
00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:53,700
At first. We were talking about
introducing a line of toilet paper.
81
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:57,600
And what part of the human body
does one use toilet paper upon?
82
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,100
So you draw a line from there
to the other planets,
83
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,600
and I think by the end, we all learned
a little bit about how small we are.
84
00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:07,200
- Yes, I agree.
- Because it's a big universe,
85
00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:10,300
and we're all just little,
tiny specks of dust.
86
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:14,000
I just think that maybe they're eating
large amounts of the day.
87
00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:16,300
You know what eats a large
amount of the day are naps.
88
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:19,700
You go to sleep, it's light out, you
wake up, it's dark. That's the whole day.
89
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,300
Where did that day go?
90
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,200
I have no idea.
91
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,600
You mean on a weekend.
92
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,900
Yes.
93
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,300
How about this?
I think our goal should be
94
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,200
we don't have meetings unless
they're absolutely essential.
95
00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:35,900
All right.
No more meetings this week.
96
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,400
Really?
97
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:38,700
You just agree to that?
98
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,900
I can be very surprising.
99
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:48,600
What's going on?
100
00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:51,500
I need to fit into
my wedding dress.
101
00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:55,000
However, I'm also pregnant.
102
00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:00,900
You know, it's a myth that women have to
gain more than nine pounds in a pregnancy?
103
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,900
Look at these actresses.
Some of them lose weight.
104
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,000
Hey, did you guys
register for wedding gifts?
105
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:11,300
We did, but mostly
because people expect us to.
106
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:16,900
We're also accepting
other gifts not on the registry...
107
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:19,100
However much.
108
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,200
It's awkward
asking people for money,
109
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:23,800
but we could really use it.
110
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:28,500
Why doesn't crate & barrel let you
register for a toaster full of cash?
111
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,700
Perfect.
I hate registries.
112
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:31,800
Oh, good.
113
00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:35,700
My cousin makes the most amazing
romantic birdhouse mailboxes.
114
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:39,000
I know I shouldn't tell you, but you'll
still be surprised when you see it.
115
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:41,300
You're not registered
for a birdhouse, are you?
116
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:42,800
No, we're not.
117
00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:45,400
Good. Good.
118
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,400
Mm-hmm?
119
00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:53,800
Okay, I thought
I saw people missing.
120
00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:57,800
Yeah, just focus-grouping a product
expansion idea to these folks.
121
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,500
- Got one of each.
- Really?
122
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,900
Hey, stanley, what was the last thing michael
said before I came through the door?
123
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,800
- Stanley, you don't need
to answer that.
- Stanley?
124
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,800
"If you don't smell this,
you're fired. "
125
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:10,600
Okay, michael, I thought we agreed to not
take up people's time with meetings like these.
126
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:13,700
What do you mean
by "these people"?
127
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,000
Michael, this is
a conference room meeting.
128
00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:18,300
Oh, hey, everybody, I think
that jim has gone insane,
129
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,200
because he thinks that my office
is a conference room.
130
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:23,800
- That's not what I meant.
- Listen, jim, no offense,
131
00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:25,500
but when push comes to shove,
132
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,000
what I want is more important
than what you want.
133
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:30,400
- I disagree.
- What do you guys think?
134
00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:32,200
- ???
- ????
135
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,000
Great. Guys, can I just have
a moment alone with michael?
136
00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:35,800
No, no, no, you don't need
to go anywhere.
137
00:06:35,900 --> 00:06:37,300
Anything that jim
has to say to me,
138
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,700
he can say in front
of these types of people.
139
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,800
That is not what I said,
140
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:45,100
and, also, I am co-manager, meaning you
are not the only manager anymore.
141
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:46,500
I am also a co-manager.
142
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:47,900
That is not
what wallace told us.
143
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,000
That's exactly
what wallace told us.
144
00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:51,500
That is not the way
I heard it.
145
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,200
I love rivalries...
146
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:56,100
Michael or jim,
paris or nicole, heidi or I.c.
147
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,800
It's so much fun.
148
00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:01,900
But I guess if i'm really thinking about it
and answering your question honestly,
149
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:03,400
i'd have to go with I.c.
150
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:06,300
Heidi's a bad friend,
and her skin is terrible.
151
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,600
It is one thing, me giving you
the co-manager title.
152
00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:11,800
It is another thing,
you bossing me around.
153
00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:15,200
I'm not bossing you around. I'm trying
to do my job, which is sharing your job,
154
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:17,000
so maybe we should just call
david wallace.
155
00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:19,200
No, no, no. No, we will
not call david wallace.
156
00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:20,600
I will call david wallace.
157
00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:22,600
David wallace is on line two
for you guys.
158
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:25,700
Or david wallace will call us
on line two. Why don't we just...
159
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:30,000
- Hey, david. You got jim here.
- This is michael, senior co-manager.
160
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:32,600
Hey, guys, um, I'm calling,
161
00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:34,900
because, unfortunately,
162
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:38,300
we will not be able to give out
cost of living raises this year,
163
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,200
and I know people expect it.
164
00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:43,400
However, there just is only a small
amount of money for each branch,
165
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:47,200
so we're leaving it up to the managers
to decide how to distribute it.
166
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:51,400
Got it, dave. Sounds like your
classic big-picture decision.
167
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:54,200
Which will clearly affect the day-to-day
well-being of our employees.
168
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:55,600
It's probably a little of both.
169
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:57,300
- Which is it more of?
- Excuse me?
170
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,100
David, I know
that I'm very new at this,
171
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,200
but I have a very good
perspective on how things work.
172
00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:03,100
Wait, I'm sorry.
Michael, are you...
173
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,900
Are you texting me?
174
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,200
I thought maybe we could talk
after this is over.
175
00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:10,300
Look, I need you both
to take care of this.
176
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,600
This is not going
to be a problem, is it?
177
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,000
- Nope, not at all.
- No, it will not be.
178
00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:16,400
- I am on top of it.
- Very good.
179
00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:18,400
- Thanks a lot, david.
- Talk to you later... Okay,
180
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,100
you didn't let me say good-bye.
181
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,500
All right,
I am looking forward to this.
182
00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:27,900
- You don't have to lie.
- I hate the fact that
we have to do this together.
183
00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:29,900
I think we work much better
separately.
184
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,900
When I am irritated
and I look at you,
185
00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:34,500
- I don't see you anymore.
- alright
186
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,900
All I can see is how big and
gross the pores on your nose are.
187
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,600
All right. Let's get started.
188
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,100
Hey, why haven't we ever, um...
189
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,400
We have.
190
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,900
You know, there's no easy way
to do this.
191
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,700
I say we add 1.5%
to their paychecks
192
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,400
and don't say anything about it.
193
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,600
Do you mean, like break in
in the middle of the night
194
00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:04,900
and change the numbers
on payroll?
195
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,600
No, we can do it
during the day.
196
00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:08,100
It doesn't have to be
that dramatic, jim.
197
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:09,200
Okay.
198
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,400
You know what would help is
199
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:14,300
a pros and cons list
for our options.
200
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:15,800
Jim, don't take this
the wrong way.
201
00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:17,900
Are you gonna
take this the wrong way?
202
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:18,900
It's hard to tell so far.
203
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,500
You use your brain
too much.
204
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,200
Are you advocating
that I use it less?
205
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:25,400
Sometimes the smartest people
don't think at all.
206
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:28,400
- You just came up with that.
- As I was saying it.
207
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:32,000
Okay, so for the 1.5% increase, pro...
208
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:33,400
Everyone gets a little bit.
209
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:35,300
Con... You look like a nerd.
210
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,100
Con... No one gets as much
as they did last year.
211
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:41,400
Pro... You get to share your pros
and cons list with the other nerds.
212
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:43,500
Pro... No favoritism.
213
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,700
Con... You unzip your pants,
214
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,800
and you find that there's
a calculator down there.
215
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:51,400
I've been studying michael
for years,
216
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:54,600
and I've condensed what
I've learned into this chart...
217
00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:56,200
How michael spends his time.
218
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,200
As you can see, we have procrastinating
and distracting others,
219
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:03,100
and this tiny sliver here
is critical thinking.
220
00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:06,300
I made it bigger,
so that you could see it.
221
00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:09,000
Hey, pam,
222
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:11,000
I heard that you were registered,
223
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:12,800
but I didn't hear where.
224
00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:16,600
I don't think
we registered anywhere.
225
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,700
We just want cash.
226
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,700
Like money?
227
00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:23,000
Like you...
You want my money?
228
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,500
Mm-hmm.
229
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,700
Will you take a check?
230
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,000
Yeah.
231
00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:29,600
Cool.
232
00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:33,900
In the memo line,
i'm gonna write,
233
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,200
"to love's eternal glory. "
234
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:38,800
Okay.
235
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,400
Wait till monday.
236
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,700
Is this what I've become?
237
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,500
Materialistic?
238
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,300
Shallow?
239
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:49,300
I feel horrible.
240
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:53,200
Oh, look!
"mrs. Pam halpert!"
241
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:56,900
that's the first time
I've seen it in writing.
242
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,000
You know, the more
I think about it,
243
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:02,300
the more I think we should
give it to the salesmen.
244
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:03,600
That will not go over well.
245
00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:07,100
I know. I just think it seems smart
to keep the salesmen happy right now.
246
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,800
Course I know that this
might come off as biased,
247
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,000
so you know what? Let us...
248
00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:15,100
Oh, my god, are you gonna make another
pro and con list? I'm gonna kill myself.
249
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,800
I'm not gonna let you
stop me from thinking.
250
00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:18,800
No, I could not do that, jim.
251
00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:21,000
I can see it
in your crusty little eyes
252
00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:23,400
that you are going
to make everything perfect.
253
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:26,200
If I can just think
this through,
254
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:29,000
if I could just think it
exactly right,
255
00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:31,800
I can make this perfect,
256
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,600
and then I can go down
every avenue,
257
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:35,900
and every avenue
off of that avenue,
258
00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:38,500
- and then another avenue.
And then another...
- Michael.
259
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:41,800
- You have a lot of strengths.
- Oh, I do? Tell me what they are.
260
00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:45,800
I think that you are able to take
constructive criticism very well.
261
00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:48,700
Ha! That...
I am not known for that.
262
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,700
But there is
a reason why I'm here.
263
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,500
Yes, you went over my head
to wallace.
264
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,000
No, it's because you also have
a lot of weaknesses, michael.
265
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:58,900
Okay. Well, why don't you
tell me what those are, jim?
266
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,300
Why don't you enliven me?
267
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,600
I don't think you're good
at making tough decisions.
268
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,600
- Ah.
- At thinking out the options,
269
00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:06,700
and then stating that
decision very clearly,
270
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,800
especially when it's
an unpopular decision.
271
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:10,600
Okay, here's
a tough decision for you.
272
00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:13,900
- You suck. You suck.
Is that clear enough for you?
- wait, but...
273
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:17,100
maybe I'm here for a reason,
274
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,200
because I might have
some good ideas, too.
275
00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:21,500
I've been sitting out there,
and I've been learning a lot,
276
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,800
and maybe I can just bring
something different to the table.
277
00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:26,200
Okay, skippy, here we go.
278
00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:29,900
Why don't you run yourself
out there and tell them?
279
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:32,400
You call it.
280
00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:39,600
This had better be terrible.
281
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:42,500
Could I have everyone's attention,
please? I have some tough news, so
282
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,200
I'm just gonna
give it to you straight.
283
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:47,000
Truth is, we only have so much
money for raises this year,
284
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,700
so the simple fact is some people will
get raises and some people won't.
285
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,200
Now, what we've decided is,
286
00:12:52,300 --> 00:12:55,000
we are gonna give those
raises to the sales staff.
287
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:56,400
Wait. Seriously?
288
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:59,600
Look, you guys are smart,
so I'm just leveling with you.
289
00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,100
I'm just trying to
treat you like adults.
290
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:04,700
Thank you, jim, for thinking
that we're smart people.
291
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,400
But I do not understand.
292
00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:09,800
If we're such smart adults,
then why don't we get raises?
293
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,600
Excellent question, genius.
294
00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:13,800
It's because jim wants to give
the raises to his friends
295
00:13:13,900 --> 00:13:15,200
and the people he sleeps with.
296
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:17,400
- Ooh, easy. That's not it at all.
- ???
297
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:21,400
- Really what it is is about the money
the sales staff brings into the office.
- What's going on?
298
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:24,600
Jim is only giving raises
to the salesmen.
299
00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:26,500
What the hell? Why are you
being such a jerk?
300
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:27,400
Hold on, kelly.
301
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:29,400
Would it help you to know
that jim thinks you're smart?
302
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:32,700
No. How is that
gonna repair ryan's car?
303
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,300
This is ridiculous!
How could he do this to us?
304
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,700
Okay, dwight, you know what?
You'd be getting the raise so...
305
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:39,200
What about all these people, huh?
306
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:40,500
How is it fair to them?
307
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:41,800
- Exactly.
- Totally.
308
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:44,400
We work just as hard as the sales
people. We deserve raises.
309
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:47,000
- Yes.
- Yes. They don't get 'em
if we don't get 'em.
310
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:48,800
My kid needs shoes!
311
00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:51,300
- You want to tell him
he doesn't get shoes?
- yeah
312
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,400
Her kid needs shoes, jim!
313
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,400
- What the hell?
- ???
314
00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:57,700
- ???
- ????
315
00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:03,200
wow. I'm just gonna rewind
and back off a bit, so...
316
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:09,800
???
317
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,600
That was good.
318
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:15,900
That was good.
Okay, all right.
319
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,900
Well, we all know
it's hard to be a boss, right?
320
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,200
You know what?
Look around you.
321
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,300
These are your best friends.
322
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:27,200
These are the people who will
open their hearts to you.
323
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:32,000
They all have heart-ons
for you,
324
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:34,300
and that is a gift.
325
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:35,800
So in terms of gifts,
326
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:37,700
we should be giving
each other gifts.
327
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:41,500
Angela, yes, lend oscar
a cup of sugar.
328
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:45,800
- What are you talking about? Michael!
- We just need to hear your plan for our raise.
329
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:47,900
My plan...
330
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:50,800
A man... Panama.
331
00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:52,200
That's not how that goes.
332
00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:53,600
You're not saying anything.
333
00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:55,200
At least jim
was being direct.
334
00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:57,800
Thank you, meredith. When he
was telling us his dumbass plan.
335
00:14:57,900 --> 00:14:59,200
We would just like to know
what's happening.
336
00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:01,400
Are we getting a raise,
yes or no?
337
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,600
All right, let me get this clear.
Does everybody want a raise?
338
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:04,800
yes!
339
00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:06,900
All right, everyone
wants a raise,
340
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,700
so what we're going to do
is go into here,
341
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,400
and we will not come out
until we do.
342
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:13,700
Again, that gives us
no information.
343
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:17,200
This isn't a game, you know?
It's our livelihood!
344
00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:21,500
What about a raise
based on merit?
345
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,400
- Rank each person individually.
- Mm-hmm.
346
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,000
Piece of cake.
347
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:27,400
Ryan, obviously the best.
348
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:28,400
Well, obviously.
349
00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:30,700
Too bad he's a temp and
doesn't count, so let's get started.
350
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:34,100
- Are you making a...
- Nope. I'm numbering the paper.
351
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,900
- Just...
- Yeah, I don't understand
how they can even consider
352
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,900
giving money to some people
and not the rest of us.
353
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,700
It's not like we're
not gonna see the checks.
354
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,200
- We're in accounting.
- I am so pissed at this company.
355
00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:47,600
- And jim.
- Yeah.
356
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,400
Who said that?
357
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:52,200
- I think it was creed.
- Yep.
358
00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:58,100
It's going really well,
actually.
359
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,100
Each boston baked bean
represents half a percent raise,
360
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,000
we each got 24 beans,
so the idea is,
361
00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:08,100
you place the bean on the picture
of who you think deserv... Who's that?
362
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,300
Toby.
363
00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:10,600
He's not a part of this.
You know that.
364
00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:13,000
Just wanted to draw
a picture of him.
365
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,300
Okay, your move.
366
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:16,500
All right, who to pick?
367
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,000
- Who to pick?
- Here we go.
368
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:23,000
I will skip a turn.
369
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:25,000
Okay, you're gonna still have
to play that bean. You know that.
370
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:27,500
I need more time.
371
00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:35,400
Wallace sent an e-mail
about a meeting next week.
372
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:38,100
He wants you both to respond.
373
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:57,800
People are starting to notice
how terrible jim is.
374
00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,400
It's great.
375
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,800
Eventually,
they'll rise up and revolt.
376
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,800
My only hope is that they do it
sooner rather than later.
377
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,900
If the people here
were our founding fathers,
378
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,700
the revolutionary war would
have been delayed ten years,
379
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:13,200
because stanley washington
was napping,
380
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:17,400
and phyllis hancock was still
signing the declaration,
381
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:21,600
and kevin jefferson
was distracted by a butterfly.
382
00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:23,400
Come on in.
383
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,500
That's right.
Come in, feast your eyes.
384
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:31,100
They determine our worth
by putting beans upon our faces.
385
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,200
What the hell?
386
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,400
Things were not this bad
when just michael was manager.
387
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:35,900
Hey, what are you guys
doing in here?
388
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,300
What does a bean mean?
389
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:41,900
on this very old,
frizzy-haired picture of me?
390
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:44,300
Michael,
what does a bean mean?
391
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:45,400
Jim?
392
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:46,700
I was just trying
to be unbiased.
393
00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:47,900
What does a bean mean?
394
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,200
Someone please explain it
to kevin.
395
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,700
Why can't you? My time
is just as valuable as yours.
396
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,600
Not according to the beans.
397
00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:56,000
This is how you make
this important decision?
398
00:17:56,100 --> 00:18:01,100
There's no way that stanley gets
more beans than me. That is ridiculous.
399
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:03,600
This is how it works.
400
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:07,100
It's not so much that I might not
get a raise. It's just demeaning.
401
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,600
Thank you.
That is exactly...
402
00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:11,900
By the way,
I would also like a raise.
403
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,800
Yeah, I would, too.
404
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:16,800
Are we idiots?
405
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:21,500
What right does jim have
to claim authority, hmm?
406
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:23,700
Is he as good a salesman as i?
407
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:27,200
Is he as matronly as phyllis?
408
00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:31,300
There are moments
where we can affect change.
409
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:36,700
For a few seconds
every decade, we exist,
410
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:38,300
and these are those seconds.
411
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,000
Let us storm his castle.
Come on.
412
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,900
Tick... Let's get him.
413
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:48,900
Tick... And drag jim
out of his office.
414
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,000
Tock... Take his keys
away from him.
415
00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:52,900
Tick... That's a clock.
416
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,100
The time is getting very close.
417
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,200
It's now or never.
What say you?
418
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:00,400
I say no.
419
00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:03,200
No, I mean, what do you
say to my plan?
420
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,400
- ???
- ???
421
00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:06,500
okay.
422
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:11,600
- ????
- ???
423
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,300
what does a bean mean?
424
00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:19,300
How you doing?
425
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,500
Uh, on a scale of one to ten,
i'd say I'm about a four.
426
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,900
Oh, what are you usually?
427
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,900
Six. You?
428
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,600
Usually a ten,
but I'm feeling like a zero.
429
00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:32,800
I mean, a performance-based raise
sounded like a good idea, right?
430
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,300
I know, I know.
431
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,200
We tried to find
the fairest way to do it.
432
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:38,400
- Yes, we did.
- I just...
433
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,300
What?
434
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,600
Um, nothing. I just...
435
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,600
I used to have
to do this part alone,
436
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:51,400
and it was the worst.
437
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:55,500
I have something
I would like to give you.
438
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:58,100
- michael! come on
- ????
439
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,900
Michael's my only friend
left in the office.
440
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,000
Except pam...
441
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,100
I think.
442
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:09,200
Is she still upset?
443
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:14,100
- Michael!
- Michael, you cannot
just keep avoiding us like this!
444
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,600
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
445
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,100
What's in here?
446
00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:24,300
Gin.
447
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:35,200
Ooh.
448
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,700
Just pretend we're not here.
449
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,700
Heard you guys are looking
for cash for the wedding?
450
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,000
Yeah, I mean,
if it's all the same for you.
451
00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:52,200
Question for you.
452
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:54,500
Would you guys rather have
$100 now
453
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,400
or $5,000 a year from now?
454
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:57,700
$100 now for sure.
455
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:00,400
Because you just give me
$50 to cover the broker fee,
456
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:03,100
I put in 100 of my
own money as the gift...
457
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,500
Yeah. No, no, I'll, um...
The hundred.
458
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,700
I'll just take the hundred.
459
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:10,800
Instead of $5,000
a year from now?
460
00:21:11,700 --> 00:21:13,200
How sure is this?
461
00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:16,100
The guy has an algorithm
to determine the winner
462
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,800
of any given
college basketball game.
463
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:23,200
welcome to www.1000fr.com
464
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:26,400
don't tell jim.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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