1
00:00:00,130 --> 00:00:04,370
**** My stomach's a
little more sensiti lately,
2
00:00:04,370 --> 00:00:07,700
so if you wouldn't mind
wearing a little less rfume...
3
00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:09,940
And if your lunch is especiallpungent,
4
00:00:09,940 --> 00:00:11,640
maybe ve it in the break room.
5
00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:13,050
We would really preciate it.
6
00:00:13,050 --> 00:00:16,170
Pam is constantly throwing
up because of the pregnancy.
7
00:00:16,170 --> 00:00:19,960
If she eats something the
fetus doesn't like,she is scred.
8
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:21,100
It's amazing.
9
00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:24,740
A three-ounce fetus
is calling the shots.
10
00:00:24,740 --> 00:00:27,240
It's so badass.
11
00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:30,480
Phyllis,um,if you could
switch to a different soap
12
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:31,800
just for a
month or two--?
13
00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:33,530
Yours is kind of perfumey.
14
00:00:33,530 --> 00:00:35,320
Now this is getting ridiculous.
15
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:36,720
Oh,gee,i'm sorry.
16
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:38,770
I guess i missed the
meeting where we all
17
00:00:38,770 --> 00:00:41,220
voted for you to get pregnant.
18
00:00:41,220 --> 00:00:42,340
No.
19
00:00:42,340 --> 00:00:46,340
I resee the right to peel my
hardboiled eggs at my desk.
20
00:00:46,340 --> 00:00:49,010
All morning i look fward
to my afternoon cigars,
21
00:00:49,010 --> 00:00:51,500
and i am not stopping for anybody.
22
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:53,770
I don't think i'm asking for too much.
23
00:00:53,770 --> 00:00:57,380
I guess it's just the end
of courtesy in the workplace.
24
00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:19,250
Watching people get sick
always makes me sick.
25
00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:20,630
And...
26
00:01:21,530 --> 00:01:23,990
Well,frankly,so does
talking about it,so...
27
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:54,250
-=http://bbs.sfileydy.com=-
Proudly Presents
28
00:01:54,250 --> 00:02:01,300
-=http://bbs.sfileydy.com=-
Sync: ¿¨»Ò
29
00:02:04,630 --> 00:02:08,480
the office us s06e04
30
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:12,100
Well,what do you think?
Spent all morning doing it.
31
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:13,870
It is really special.
32
00:02:13,870 --> 00:02:18,120
Yeah,but aren't you supposed to
do that to our-- no,it's great.
33
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,310
Well,it's just a really
important day fore.
34
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,490
- Well,congrats.
- Thanks.
35
00:02:23,490 --> 00:02:27,290
Dunder mifflin scranton will
be closed today and friday
36
00:02:27,290 --> 00:02:30,130
for a company wedding in niagara falls,
37
00:02:30,130 --> 00:02:33,470
so please leave a messag and we'll
get back to you as soon as possible.
38
00:02:33,470 --> 00:02:34,790
Have a great day.
39
00:02:35,390 --> 00:02:38,930
Uh,believe it or not,kevin,firecrackers
are in the "don't" column.
40
00:02:38,930 --> 00:02:41,140
So you're gonna provide them,en?
41
00:02:41,140 --> 00:02:43,050
No,this is a firecracker-free wedding.
42
00:02:43,050 --> 00:02:44,870
- What the hell?
- You've got to be kidding me.
43
00:02:45,180 --> 00:02:46,990
Okay,all of the things
are important to remember,
44
00:02:46,990 --> 00:02:49,700
but the most important thing
is that no one say anything
45
00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:51,300
about my pregnancy at the wedding.
46
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:53,080
Absolutely,because not everyone knows,
47
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,350
and some people might be offended.
48
00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:56,650
Decent people everywhere
will get offended.
49
00:02:56,650 --> 00:02:58,380
Well,we're thinking of my grandmother,
50
00:02:58,380 --> 00:03:00,690
who we haven't told,and
who is very old-fashioned.
51
00:03:00,690 --> 00:03:02,800
Well,you're lucky to have a grandmother.
52
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,880
Some of us have to be
our own grandmother.
53
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:08,210
You know,angela,um,you don't
have to come to the wedding.
54
00:03:08,210 --> 00:03:09,910
- Really,pam?
- Yes,she does. Yes,she does.
55
00:03:09,910 --> 00:03:11,850
We're all gonna go,and
we're gonna have a good time.
56
00:03:12,270 --> 00:03:13,480
He pinched me.
57
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:16,500
Next time we're all in this
room,jim and i will be married.
58
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,590
- We'll see.
- Thank you,dwight.
59
00:03:18,590 --> 00:03:19,760
- Good-bye. -
See you later.
60
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:20,820
- Bye.
- Bye.
61
00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:25,310
Oh,hey,and don't embarrass
me when we go to niagara.
62
00:03:25,310 --> 00:03:28,810
What happens in niagara
stays in niagara.
63
00:03:30,570 --> 00:03:33,810
Don't,don't,don't. You stole
my joke. Don't steal my joke.
64
00:03:33,810 --> 00:03:36,730
- No,i didn't steal your joke.
- Yes,i said that yesterday.
65
00:03:36,730 --> 00:03:38,180
But you can say that about anything.
66
00:03:38,180 --> 00:03:41,350
What happens in accounting
stays in accounting.
67
00:03:41,990 --> 00:03:44,820
No,no,no. Please,plse.
Dwight,that's my joke.
68
00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:46,440
I know,but it's so easy.
That's what i'm saying.
69
00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,390
- You can say-- - okay,this
is what i am talking about.
70
00:03:48,390 --> 00:03:52,500
When we leave here and
go up to niaga falls,
71
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:55,880
we are representing
dunder mifflin,everyone.
72
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,060
This is a very important
wedding for this branch.
73
00:03:58,060 --> 00:03:59,910
The most important
wedding until get married,
74
00:03:59,910 --> 00:04:01,960
so i want you all on your best behavior.
75
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,090
Or so he me,god!
76
00:04:05,110 --> 00:04:10,000
So i wilsee you uphere
in "viagra" falls.
77
00:04:11,940 --> 00:04:15,700
Pam and jim's wedding will be
the single best ckup destination
78
00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:18,450
in the history of the universe.
79
00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:20,940
I stole the gut list from jim's desk,
80
00:04:20,940 --> 00:04:25,050
and i search-engined every female
on both sides of the family.
81
00:04:25,050 --> 00:04:28,170
- Get out of here. Yes.
- Oh,my god,dwight.
82
00:04:28,170 --> 00:04:32,340
For instance,pam's
cousin jocelyn webster.
83
00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,490
There's a name.
84
00:04:34,490 --> 00:04:38,120
Two years ago,she was
selling a mountain bike.
85
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:41,450
Oh,well,tell me about
jocelyn. What's she like?
86
00:04:41,450 --> 00:04:45,930
Well,uh,she's really into mountain
king but not so much lately.
87
00:04:45,930 --> 00:04:47,120
Okay.
88
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,620
Uh,she had a couple
hundred dollars to spend.
89
00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:53,490
I mean,if she was able
to sell her bike,then...
90
00:04:54,850 --> 00:04:56,060
Is that all you have on her?
91
00:04:56,060 --> 00:04:58,900
Well,if this in fact her,because
it's a very common name.
92
00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:00,670
Okay. You're an idiot.
93
00:05:08,790 --> 00:05:13,180
People don't think of me as one of
the sharper dressers in the office,
94
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:16,460
but i'm going to turn that
around at this wedding.
95
00:05:16,460 --> 00:05:20,830
I thought,"how can i take
it to the next level?"
96
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:23,290
the hair.
97
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,360
It's the hair.
98
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:29,710
Okay. Okay. I'm going.
99
00:05:30,780 --> 00:05:32,550
God.
100
00:05:34,340 --> 00:05:36,140
Hey,did one of you guys
want to sit up front with me
101
00:05:36,140 --> 00:05:38,040
so i have someone to talk to?
102
00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,780
It's,like,a five-hour
drive... Ish. You know.
103
00:05:40,780 --> 00:05:44,170
Nah,this is so much cooler. We feel
like we're in a limo and you're our drir.
104
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:47,810
- Erin?
- Oh,no.
105
00:05:47,810 --> 00:05:50,240
That wouldn't be fair to
leave kelly alone in back.
106
00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,920
Not only is erin
really sweet and cute...
107
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,770
She smells like my mom.
108
00:05:58,750 --> 00:06:00,810
- Hey,my aunt tolde something neat.
- Yeah?
109
00:06:00,810 --> 00:06:03,550
She said everything with
the weddingoes by so fast,
110
00:06:03,550 --> 00:06:06,310
we should try to take mental
pictures of the high points.
111
00:06:06,310 --> 00:06:07,900
Oh,wow. That's cool.
112
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:09,270
Yeah.
113
00:06:09,730 --> 00:06:13,350
Click. Oh,you blinked. Damn it.
114
00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:15,010
Now that's in my brain forever.
115
00:06:15,610 --> 00:06:16,890
What a lou picture.
116
00:06:16,890 --> 00:06:20,350
Should have hired professional
to take the mental ptures.
117
00:06:25,540 --> 00:06:27,680
Oh,god.
118
00:06:29,250 --> 00:06:30,650
- I was asleep.
- What?
119
00:06:30,650 --> 00:06:33,260
No way. Those glasses are super dark.
120
00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:35,990
Okay. All right.
121
00:06:35,990 --> 00:06:37,420
We need some tunes,i think.
122
00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:39,020
You know wha i made you a cd.
123
00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:40,850
You did? That was nice of you.
124
00:06:40,850 --> 00:06:43,280
This is to play when you bring
a woman back to your hotel room.
125
00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:46,640
Oh,very thoughtful. A
little mix to set the mood.
126
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,390
Delightful. Pop that in.
127
00:06:48,390 --> 00:06:49,890
You're gonna like this.
128
00:06:49,890 --> 00:06:52,740
Hello. My name is dwight schrute.
129
00:06:52,740 --> 00:06:57,020
If you're listening this,you're
a lucky woman michael has duced.
130
00:06:57,020 --> 00:06:59,210
Ah,to be in your shoes.
131
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:01,480
"what's next? " you're
probably wondering.
132
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,800
Don't be scared of your night in heaven.
133
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:05,880
Are you serious?
134
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,460
You want me to play that for
a woman coming to my room?
135
00:07:08,460 --> 00:07:10,000
Yeah. It's practical.
136
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,440
My god. No. No.
137
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,640
That's not how it works.
138
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:17,130
Niagara falls used to be,like,a
spiritual experience to people.
139
00:07:17,130 --> 00:07:20,320
Ey stayed in tents,and
it blew their minds.
140
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:23,920
But it's really kitschy
now,which is a lot of fun.
141
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,520
- Halpert.
- Halpert.
142
00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,770
And beesly. Tonight we're
in two separate rooms,
143
00:07:28,770 --> 00:07:30,630
and then tomorrow nigh
is the honeymoon suite.
144
00:07:30,630 --> 00:07:33,330
- Great.
- I know. We're pretty excited too.
145
00:07:33,430 --> 00:07:35,020
Can we take a look at the suiteow?
146
00:07:35,020 --> 00:07:37,050
Oh,i'm sorry. Somebody just checked in.
147
00:07:37,050 --> 00:07:39,500
Is there another wedding
at the hotel thiweekend?
148
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:42,740
Oh,no. St an individual. At man there.
149
00:07:42,740 --> 00:07:45,520
Hey. Got the room the
nighbefore you guys.
150
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:47,360
I'll break in the bed.
151
00:07:50,510 --> 00:07:51,660
I don't like that.
152
00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:53,280
I'm gonna need the name
and cell phone number
153
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:56,410
of the housekeeper responsible
for changi the sheets,please.
154
00:07:56,800 --> 00:08:00,100
Hello. Reservation for michael scott.
155
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:01,470
One moment while i check.
156
00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:04,650
Their proximity to the falls makes
everything smell like a basement.
157
00:08:05,170 --> 00:08:07,490
I'm sorry,sir. I'm
not seeing you in here.
158
00:08:07,490 --> 00:08:09,190
When did you make your reservation?
159
00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:10,700
I don't have a reservation,
160
00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:13,740
but i want a room in the
beesly-halpert block of rooms.
161
00:08:13,740 --> 00:08:14,980
Oh,okay.
162
00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:17,540
Unfortunately,sir,the block
only applies to the rate.
163
00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:19,310
I'm afraid we're all sold out.
164
00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:22,060
Dwight schrute. I have a reservation.
165
00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:28,560
Confirmation
number,uh,romeo,tango,g,7-7-4-5.
166
00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:29,820
yes. Schrute.
167
00:08:29,820 --> 00:08:33,220
And i had spoken to theresa
about a room with two safes.
168
00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:34,420
Sure. No problem.
169
00:08:34,420 --> 00:08:37,120
- Okay? - There's your k,mr.
Schrute. - Well,good. Thank you.
170
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:39,420
Dwight. Dwight,dwight.
171
00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:41,540
- I need to stay in your room.
- No way. What if i meet someone?
172
00:08:41,540 --> 00:08:43,170
- I'm staying in--come
on. - No. Michael.
173
00:08:43,170 --> 00:08:44,920
- Dwight,i would do the same
for you. - You would? - Yes.
174
00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:46,990
- Really?
- Yes.
175
00:08:46,990 --> 00:08:48,960
Wait a second. Oh,no,no,no.
176
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,860
This must some kind of mistake.
177
00:08:50,860 --> 00:08:53,030
This reservation is under an m. Scott.
178
00:08:53,030 --> 00:08:54,340
Oh... This must be yours.
179
00:08:54,340 --> 00:08:56,280
- Thank god.
- Oh,no.
180
00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:58,400
Now that i don't have a
room can i stay with you?
181
00:09:01,130 --> 00:09:02,570
No. You know what?
182
00:09:02,570 --> 00:09:06,400
- I--i would say yes,but you
can't,and i'll tell you why. - Please?
183
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:09,730
If i have a woman up there
and things are getting amorous,
184
00:09:09,730 --> 00:09:12,160
she's gonna get turned off
if she looks in the bathroom
185
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,480
and she sees you brushing yr
teeth with butter and clay,okay?
186
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:19,970
Okay,okay. That was a test,and you
have failed,for this is my room.
187
00:09:19,970 --> 00:09:21,910
Okay? You would not share it with me.
188
00:09:21,910 --> 00:09:23,780
- I don't have room?
- No,you do not.
189
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:27,510
Okay. Ooh,you must pass
the dungeon wisdom test.
190
00:09:27,510 --> 00:09:28,720
It worked.
191
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:33,610
When mary was denied a room
at the inn,jesus was born.
192
00:09:34,370 --> 00:09:37,690
When michael was denied
a room at the inn,
193
00:09:37,690 --> 00:09:41,140
we don't know what happens,because
that story hasn't been told yet.
194
00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:44,660
Mr. And mrs. Stanley hudson.
195
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,450
Hey,stanley. Favor.
196
00:09:48,450 --> 00:09:49,980
Could i stay in your room tonight?
197
00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:52,290
Are you out of your mind?
I brought cynthia with me.
198
00:09:52,290 --> 00:09:54,170
Not in the same bed. In the other bed.
199
00:09:54,170 --> 00:09:56,170
I got one queen-size bed.
200
00:09:56,170 --> 00:09:58,520
You are kidding me.
201
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,970
A queen-size bed
is five-feet wide.
202
00:10:00,970 --> 00:10:02,500
I am not fe-feet wide,michael.
203
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:05,430
I'm not a physicmajor,stanley.
I'm just saying be careful.
204
00:10:05,530 --> 00:10:07,210
Hey,guys. Hey.
205
00:10:07,210 --> 00:10:08,780
Could i stay in your room tonight?
206
00:10:08,780 --> 00:10:10,500
- Oh,gross.
- Blow my brains out.
207
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:12,360
That's rude.
208
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:15,220
Michael,i have an extra
twin bed,if you want.
209
00:10:15,220 --> 00:10:18,120
You are going to be eeping by
yourself for the rest of your life,
210
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:20,080
so you should just get used to it.
211
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,980
So,uh,which one is pam's grandma?
212
00:10:24,980 --> 00:10:28,100
Oh,meemaw? She's the
on in the teal suit.
213
00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:30,710
She's the only 80-year-old
with no smile wrinkles.
214
00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:33,580
Dad,remember. No mention
of the baby,right?
215
00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:36,210
Yeah. Yeah,yeah,yeah.
She's very conservative.
216
00:10:36,210 --> 00:10:37,810
So mum's the word.
217
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:39,570
Um,dad,this is michael scott.
218
00:10:39,570 --> 00:10:41,340
- How you doing?
- Nice to meet you.
219
00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:43,110
- Nice to meet you.
- Who's doing a toast?
220
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,170
I would like to go
third,sort of back clean up.
221
00:10:45,170 --> 00:10:48,600
Michael,i thought we discussed
that we'd rather you not speak,
222
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,210
like,at all,because it's
just gonna be blood relatives.
223
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:54,220
That is seriously
going to impede my abili
224
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,930
to hook up with your female relatives.
225
00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:59,090
Pretty sure everybody heard that.
226
00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:01,200
Didn't move my lips.
227
00:11:04,060 --> 00:11:05,310
Hey,meemaw.
228
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:10,150
I wasn't sure about
your branch of the famil
229
00:11:10,150 --> 00:11:13,220
after i heard about
your parents divorce.
230
00:11:13,220 --> 00:11:17,790
But you and jim are just perfect.
231
00:11:18,780 --> 00:11:23,170
- God bless you.
- Oh,thank you. But nobody's perfect.
232
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:27,540
Well,i wouldn't care to
live if i thought that.
233
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,270
Mr. Beesly,how are you?
234
00:11:31,270 --> 00:11:33,050
I'd like you to meet kristy kelly.
235
00:11:33,050 --> 00:11:35,970
Oh,this,uh,this your niece?
236
00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:39,240
No,no. She's,uh--
she's my girlfriend.
237
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,690
Hey,can youake room at that table?
238
00:11:41,690 --> 00:11:45,070
From quarter three to
quarter four,up 17%.
239
00:11:45,070 --> 00:11:47,890
While his sas,down 2%.
240
00:11:47,890 --> 00:11:49,380
It's all there in the report.
241
00:11:49,380 --> 00:11:52,210
Why would they make the bad man
your boss if you're so much smarter?
242
00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:53,350
Excellent question.
243
00:11:53,350 --> 00:11:58,170
Because while i was busy trying to
improve the company and make it a success,
244
00:11:58,170 --> 00:12:03,530
jim,the bad man,was busy
kissing the boss man's butt.
245
00:12:04,780 --> 00:12:08,780
That's right. It is ew. It's vy ew.
246
00:12:08,780 --> 00:12:12,450
Oscar,kevin,this is my sister,penny.
She's also my maid of honor.
247
00:12:12,450 --> 00:12:13,690
Eased to meet you.
248
00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:15,870
Oh,i'm sorry. It's kevin?
249
00:12:15,870 --> 00:12:17,540
I thought it was gill.
250
00:12:18,340 --> 00:12:20,700
She thought i was your boyfriend.
251
00:12:21,470 --> 00:12:23,320
You thought i was dating this?
252
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,690
What the hl is wrong with you?
253
00:12:25,690 --> 00:12:28,260
Oscar,it was an honest mistake.
254
00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:30,090
Him? Him?
255
00:12:30,090 --> 00:12:32,810
Oscar,i would be proud to date you.
256
00:12:32,810 --> 00:12:35,580
- I'm sorry.
- I'm not gay. I'm kevin.
257
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:38,180
Nice to meet you. Kevin.
258
00:12:38,180 --> 00:12:39,910
- Owe an apology. - I'm
so sorry. I didn't mean--
259
00:12:40,130 --> 00:12:41,220
are you seeing anyone right now?
260
00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:42,570
She has a boyfriend. He's out of town.
261
00:12:42,570 --> 00:12:44,350
- Cool.
- Thank you.
262
00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:46,900
I was the youngest
vp in company history.
263
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,320
More recently,he worked
in a bowling alley.
264
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,790
Tell 'em one of your funny
bowling alley stories.
265
00:12:51,790 --> 00:12:52,950
Um,also...
266
00:12:52,950 --> 00:12:55,770
How did meredith get put
at the young people's table?
267
00:12:55,770 --> 00:12:58,470
She probably switched
cards with someone.
268
00:12:58,470 --> 00:13:00,850
Like i did with erin.
269
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:02,570
What?
270
00:13:02,570 --> 00:13:04,690
You c--
that's...
271
00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:10,580
Jim and pam,i can't tell you
how happy i am to be here.
272
00:13:11,380 --> 00:13:14,570
Head table. Where i belong.
273
00:13:14,570 --> 00:13:16,980
- It's just for family.
- I know.
274
00:13:17,270 --> 00:13:18,690
Who's that one?
275
00:13:21,290 --> 00:13:24,320
Isabel poreba. Oh,i got stuff on her.
276
00:13:25,610 --> 00:13:29,820
In 1996,her 10th grade
volleyball team went 10 and 2.
277
00:13:30,650 --> 00:13:33,320
what am i supposed to
do with that,dwight?
278
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,890
That's a very good record.
279
00:13:34,890 --> 00:13:37,790
Right,so i'll be like,"you're
so sweet,guys. And so kind.
280
00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:39,180
",and that's when
i'll do the face like--
281
00:13:39,180 --> 00:13:42,340
like,"what? " right. And then wll just
give 'em a little punch to the back.
282
00:13:42,340 --> 00:13:46,080
A noogie. You ow what? Never to
married... Never. ...For a noogie.
283
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:49,910
They have hilarious material,and they
are going to totally deliver it wrong.
284
00:13:49,910 --> 00:13:51,580
I would kill with the brother stuff.
285
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:56,050
It should be me up there. Should
be me and pete. Not pete and tom.
286
00:13:57,970 --> 00:14:00,850
Pam,you've got the greatestmile,
287
00:14:00,850 --> 00:14:04,030
- and your body is really fine.
- Smoking.
288
00:14:04,030 --> 00:14:06,640
Hoping it'll make r
wives kick it up a notch.
289
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,670
A little mo' cardio.
290
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:11,690
That's not appropriate.
Okay,a little more...
291
00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:14,950
Hello. Hi,everybody.
292
00:14:14,950 --> 00:14:17,300
I promise i wasn't nna make
a toast,d i'm not going to.
293
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:19,360
Just going to do a little
freestanding comedy,
294
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,810
and if at the end everybody
wants to raise their glasses
295
00:14:21,810 --> 00:14:24,740
to pam and jim,then so be it.
296
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:29,110
Hey,what is the deal with the smart car?
297
00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:30,120
How smart is that?
298
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,870
Those things are tiny.
299
00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:33,680
Can you even drive them in traffic?
300
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:37,680
"oh,i'm so smart. "e
equals mc... Squared.
301
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:38,950
I--i drive
a smart car.
302
00:14:38,950 --> 00:14:40,550
" that's not smart in my book.
303
00:14:40,550 --> 00:14:42,860
The real smart car is kitt.
304
00:14:42,860 --> 00:14:44,150
- From knight rider.
- Ight rider.
305
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:45,860
That's a car that can talk.
306
00:14:45,860 --> 00:14:47,430
N a art car ta?
307
00:14:47,770 --> 00:14:49,700
Nope. That's not smart.
308
00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:52,260
And also chitty chitty
bang bang. Very smart.
309
00:14:52,260 --> 00:14:55,940
And... You--
everybody can laugh.
310
00:14:55,940 --> 00:14:58,940
It doesn't have to just be the
idiots. Everybody can laugh.
311
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:00,600
- Nope.
- Yeah,go ahead.
312
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,510
All right. Hey,everyone.
Thanks for coming.
313
00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:05,180
- Douche.
- Ah,thanks,pete. That was really nice.
314
00:15:05,180 --> 00:15:07,550
I just wt to say how happy we are
315
00:15:07,550 --> 00:15:09,070
that allf you are hereonight,
316
00:15:09,070 --> 00:15:11,340
and i want to especially
thank those of you
317
00:15:11,340 --> 00:15:14,470
who have traveled frofar away
to be here with us tonight,
318
00:15:14,470 --> 00:15:19,260
especially the florida cousins,who
obviously can't ke a hint.
319
00:15:20,370 --> 00:15:23,050
Four years ago,i was just a guy
320
00:15:23,050 --> 00:15:25,800
who had a crush on a
girl who had a boyfriend.
321
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:31,520
And i do the hardest thing that i've
ever had to do which was just to wait.
322
00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:35,270
Uh,don't get me wrong.
I flirted with her.
323
00:15:35,270 --> 00:15:37,480
Pam,i can now admit in
front of friends and family
324
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,590
that i do know how to make a photocopy.
325
00:15:40,180 --> 00:15:42,140
Didn't need yo help that many times.
326
00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:45,710
And,uh,do you remember how long it
took you to teach me how to drive stick?
327
00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:47,440
Like,a year.
328
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:52,400
- Ve been driving stick since high school,so...
- Very nice.
329
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,190
For a really long time,that's all i had.
330
00:15:54,190 --> 00:15:58,030
I just had little moments with
a girl o saw me as a friend.
331
00:15:58,030 --> 00:16:00,530
And a lot of peopl told me i was crazy
332
00:16:00,530 --> 00:16:03,450
to wait this long for a date
with a girl who i worked with,
333
00:16:03,450 --> 00:16:06,380
but i think even then i knew that...
334
00:16:07,490 --> 00:16:09,490
I was waiting r my we.
335
00:16:09,820 --> 00:16:11,880
So...
336
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,900
I would like to propose a toast.
337
00:16:14,410 --> 00:16:16,980
So if you'd all raise
your glasses-- not pam,
338
00:16:16,980 --> 00:16:19,860
for obvious reons,but everyone
else,if y would raise your glasses...
339
00:16:19,860 --> 00:16:23,670
- What's obvious?
- Why can't pam drink?
340
00:16:23,670 --> 00:16:24,840
Pam can't drink?
341
00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:26,760
Who--i didn't-- i
shouldn't have said that.
342
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:27,950
I don't know why i did.
343
00:16:27,950 --> 00:16:29,410
She can do whatever she wants.
344
00:16:29,410 --> 00:16:30,840
Though she shouldn't.
345
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,570
She shouldn't,becae she's an alcoholic.
346
00:16:33,570 --> 00:16:35,520
Pam is an alcoholic.
347
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:37,380
That's not
true. I--no.
348
00:16:39,140 --> 00:16:43,940
What we nted-- the real
reason is that,um...
349
00:16:45,030 --> 00:16:47,470
That--that
pam's pregnant.
350
00:16:48,510 --> 00:16:50,320
Ok. Okay,okay.
351
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:54,880
Hey. What i thi jim is
trying to say is that...
352
00:16:55,830 --> 00:16:59,720
Th had an accident,and you know what?
353
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,630
These two people,they're
living together.
354
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:05,350
They are having lots of consensual sex.
355
00:17:05,350 --> 00:17:09,350
- They wliving together? - Yes.
Yes,they were living tog-- yes.
356
00:17:09,350 --> 00:17:10,370
And you know what?
357
00:17:10,370 --> 00:17:15,320
You can't expect them
be careful every time,
358
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,640
because,frankly,it's just
a different sensation.
359
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:20,070
- Michael. - When you
come-- well,am i wrong?
360
00:17:20,070 --> 00:17:23,010
They say it's not different,but
it's a different sensation...
361
00:17:23,010 --> 00:17:27,430
- Oh,my god. Don't. Please.
- When you use something to block...
362
00:17:27,870 --> 00:17:30,260
I ink everybody knows
what i am talking about.
363
00:17:30,260 --> 00:17:32,630
It's not necessarily
different for the woman,
364
00:17:32,630 --> 00:17:33,690
- but it is
different-- - michael.
365
00:17:33,690 --> 00:17:34,810
Okay. Okay,okay,okay.
366
00:17:34,810 --> 00:17:37,570
- Michael. Stop.
- All rit.
367
00:17:38,330 --> 00:17:41,020
My point is,i said what i nted to say,
368
00:17:41,020 --> 00:17:43,420
and,meemaw,i hope you heard every word.
369
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:45,240
All right.
370
00:17:45,790 --> 00:17:47,460
Jim.
371
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:50,580
To waiting.
372
00:17:50,580 --> 00:17:55,550
To waiting. Okay.
373
00:17:56,330 --> 00:17:58,160
i should have known.
374
00:17:59,230 --> 00:18:03,780
The hotel's television set had a
movie on called bruno last night.
375
00:18:03,780 --> 00:18:06,450
The remote control had so
darn many buttons on it,
376
00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:07,740
i couldn't turn it off.
377
00:18:07,740 --> 00:18:10,950
So i had to just sit there
while it happened to me.
378
00:18:10,950 --> 00:18:15,230
I wondered,"how could
they pick such a hotel?
379
00:18:17,410 --> 00:18:19,800
" mm. Now i know.
380
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,490
Meemaw.
381
00:18:23,900 --> 00:18:26,330
Think it was a little uch and go
at first, but we saved it,i believe.
382
00:18:26,330 --> 00:18:28,480
I can't believe it was me.
383
00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:31,620
I know. I can't believe
it was you,either.
384
00:18:31,620 --> 00:18:35,020
I actually think it takes
a lot of pressure off of me.
385
00:18:35,020 --> 00:18:37,800
Is there something about being a
manager that mak you say stupid things?
386
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,300
I have not found that to be the case.
387
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:41,020
- Hey,smooth guys.
- I'm so sorry.
388
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:42,910
Can you believe it?
He screwed up,not me.
389
00:18:42,910 --> 00:18:44,270
Meemaw's not coming to the wedding.
390
00:18:44,270 --> 00:18:45,760
She's leavin tomorrow morning.
391
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:48,660
- Oh,my god. Are you serious?
- There's gonna be a free room?
392
00:18:56,910 --> 00:18:59,740
Hi,meemaw. It's michael.
393
00:18:59,740 --> 00:19:03,460
Oh,you're that foul man that
kept talking about intercourse.
394
00:19:03,460 --> 00:19:06,640
Yes. Yep,one and the same. May i?
395
00:19:07,590 --> 00:19:09,560
I'm actually great with old women.
396
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:13,330
In fact,for the longest time,my
best frie was my grandmother.
397
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:19,660
And en she met harriet,and now she
thinks she's better than everybody.
398
00:19:20,110 --> 00:19:23,010
I want to go to bed,but i can't.
399
00:19:23,010 --> 00:19:25,150
I can't turn that television off.
400
00:19:25,150 --> 00:19:27,920
Oh. Okay,well...
401
00:19:28,850 --> 00:19:29,900
Hook you up there.
402
00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:33,050
- Oh,thank you.
- You're welcome.
403
00:19:33,050 --> 00:19:35,240
It was that horrible charlie rose.
404
00:19:35,690 --> 00:19:38,600
Isn't he terrible? May i?
405
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:41,540
Here's the thing. Um...
406
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:48,500
Meemaw,i think yo just need to chill out
out this whole pam getting pregnant thing.
407
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:51,480
It's not 1890 anymore. It's modern day.
408
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:54,550
Anwomen have sex before marriage.
409
00:19:54,550 --> 00:19:56,620
And i think we need to celebrate that.
410
00:19:56,620 --> 00:20:00,280
And i know in your day she
would be considered a whore,
411
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:05,560
ii but now women go out and
they have sex and they get wild
412
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:09,760
and they take their tops off and
they have pictures taken of them.
413
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,160
And we need to encourage
that. That's part of life.
414
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:16,000
- People are like cats and dogs these days.
- Exactly.
415
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,790
- Thissed to be such a great country.
- I know.
416
00:20:18,790 --> 00:20:20,680
I don't know what happened it.
417
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,860
They're gonna name the
baby after y,you know?
418
00:20:22,860 --> 00:20:24,530
They're gonna call it meaw.
419
00:20:24,530 --> 00:20:26,450
You mean sylvia.
420
00:20:26,450 --> 00:20:27,920
Yes.
421
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:31,270
And if it's a boy,they
will call it sylvio.
422
00:20:31,850 --> 00:20:35,410
Par-tay. Room 639. yes.
423
00:20:35,410 --> 00:20:37,190
Chicks are gonna be off the hook.
424
00:20:37,190 --> 00:20:38,500
Guys too,oscar.
425
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:39,960
Like calvin klein models.
426
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:43,180
That sounds epic. Can we bring anything?
427
00:20:43,180 --> 00:20:44,310
Nothing.
428
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:48,130
Except for $40 for beer
and any hot chicks you know.
429
00:20:48,130 --> 00:20:52,290
'Cause that would help me deliver
on some prises i made. Whoo!
430
00:20:52,290 --> 00:20:56,860
No one from the office has
been to a real beard throw-down.
431
00:20:56,860 --> 00:21:00,100
If i was a girl,i would seriously
reconsider coming to this party.
432
00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:03,470
But don't tell them that i said
that,'cause i want them there.
433
00:21:10,700 --> 00:21:12,370
And where do you thi you're gng?
434
00:21:12,370 --> 00:21:15,000
I was just gonna go down to
the hotel bar for a little bit.
435
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,690
Well,why don't i just save y some time
and kick you in the stomach instead?
436
00:21:18,690 --> 00:21:21,100
I just wanted to get out
of my room for a lite while.
437
00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:24,450
Okay. I'll go with you. Come on.
438
00:21:25,660 --> 00:21:27,160
Never mind.
439
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,030
- Are you sure? Could fun.
- Yup. No.
440
00:21:30,030 --> 00:21:33,710
- What are you wearing?
- What? It's a casual,social outfit.
441
00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:35,540
Looks like you're going
to a fish fry,dwight.
442
00:21:35,540 --> 00:21:36,940
No,th're howling at the moon.
443
00:21:36,940 --> 00:21:38,700
It's suggestive to women.
444
00:21:38,700 --> 00:21:40,110
Because of howling during sex.
445
00:21:40,110 --> 00:21:41,530
Okay.
446
00:21:42,610 --> 00:21:44,360
Th's not appropriate,ight.
447
00:21:45,180 --> 00:21:46,650
Uncool. Uncool,dwight.
448
00:21:50,090 --> 00:21:52,690
Okay. Okay,come on. Let's go.
449
00:21:53,670 --> 00:21:55,760
Good. It's good. It's not a good idea.
450
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:57,840
There's no such thing
as a good hairpiece.
451
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:00,520
Yeah,but that's easy
enough for you to say,oscar.
452
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:06,510
You have that
thick,beautiful,chicano hair. So nice.
453
00:22:08,010 --> 00:22:09,980
I'm just worried about
the farm,you know?
454
00:22:09,980 --> 00:22:12,170
Mose hates to geld
the horses by himself.
455
00:22:12,170 --> 00:22:14,060
Dwight,shut up about the farm.
456
00:22:14,060 --> 00:22:15,900
It's not relatable. Nobody owns a farm.
457
00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:19,520
Wait,you're worried about
your horses? That's cool.
458
00:22:19,930 --> 00:22:21,940
How many horses do you have?
459
00:22:21,940 --> 00:22:23,640
Nine and three quarters.
460
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,650
I invented a device
called burger on the go.
461
00:22:26,650 --> 00:22:29,760
It allows you to obtain six
regular-sized hamburgers or
462
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:34,200
12 sliders from a horse
without killing the animal.
463
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,190
George foreman is still considering it.
464
00:22:36,190 --> 00:22:37,600
Sharpeimage is still consideng it.
465
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:38,900
Skymall's still conside.
466
00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:41,050
Hammacheschlemmer's
still considering it.
467
00:22:42,230 --> 00:22:44,110
Sears said no.
468
00:22:51,710 --> 00:22:56,660
Toy story,finding nemo,up,i
balled the entire time.
469
00:22:56,660 --> 00:22:58,800
- I can not watch pixar.
- Michael.
470
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,220
- Yes.
- Drop this one. Abort.
471
00:23:00,220 --> 00:23:03,260
- Why?
- I found twins.
472
00:23:03,260 --> 00:23:05,690
Oh,my god. Twins.
473
00:23:05,690 --> 00:23:08,860
I'm sorry. You
understand. Niceo meet you.
474
00:23:10,870 --> 00:23:13,190
Aren't they magnificent?
475
00:23:15,780 --> 00:23:17,460
They're men,dwight.
476
00:23:17,910 --> 00:23:19,930
I ve finding a good set of twins.
477
00:23:19,930 --> 00:23:22,660
Something's wrong with you.
478
00:23:26,060 --> 00:23:29,170
Yeah,mereth! Nice moves!
479
00:23:31,730 --> 00:23:33,560
You call that a robot?
480
00:23:34,050 --> 00:23:37,410
Try being more robotic,okay? Like this.
481
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:42,430
Lame. What else you got,andy?
482
00:23:42,430 --> 00:23:43,990
How about littleit of this?
483
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,600
Oh,yeah? What else you got?
484
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,100
Yeah,what else you got?
485
00:23:51,100 --> 00:23:53,840
Did someone change my
name to baskin robbins?
486
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:56,370
Because i feel like a bananaplit.
487
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:04,950
What else you got?
488
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,430
All right. It'll be fine.
489
00:24:08,430 --> 00:24:12,410
It's gonna be fine. Pam's
here. You'll be fine.
490
00:24:14,100 --> 00:24:15,610
Pam.
491
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:22,780
I was dancing and i did a split and
i landed on my car keys in my pocket.
492
00:24:22,780 --> 00:24:24,190
What?
493
00:24:24,190 --> 00:24:27,360
I tore my scrotum. I need you
to take me to the hospital.
494
00:24:29,020 --> 00:24:31,430
Andy,i'm getting married in eight hours.
495
00:24:31,910 --> 00:24:33,470
Everyone else is too drunk.
496
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:35,760
Just don't let me die here.
497
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,700
Ey. Where are you? Can you
take andy to the hospital?
498
00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:41,510
- What?
- He tore his scrotum dancing.
499
00:24:41,510 --> 00:24:44,070
- What?
- Is in my room,icing his balls.
500
00:24:44,070 --> 00:24:46,190
- What?
- Plse stop saying "what.
501
00:24:46,190 --> 00:24:48,630
- cayou take him?
- lo,i wod so take him.
502
00:24:48,630 --> 00:24:52,450
" in any other circumstance,but i'm
pretty certain i'm completely wasted.
503
00:24:52,450 --> 00:24:54,120
Your brothers took you out drinking?
504
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:59,940
That pam? Hey! Have her come out. Have
her ce out! Itl be like coyote ugly.
505
00:24:59,940 --> 00:25:01,800
That's michael. You're out with michael?
506
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,690
Andwight.
507
00:25:03,690 --> 00:25:06,910
- Pam,it just happened.
- Okay,fine. I'll take him.
508
00:25:06,910 --> 00:25:10,190
- I love you. Okay,i got to go.
- I love you!
509
00:25:10,190 --> 00:25:11,790
Are you pushing me off the phone?
510
00:25:11,790 --> 00:25:13,370
No. Les talk for a long time.
511
00:25:13,370 --> 00:25:14,790
Good-bye.
512
00:25:16,650 --> 00:25:17,950
It's after midnight.
513
00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:21,650
You're married. He's married!
514
00:25:21,650 --> 00:25:23,110
Oh,that's not how that works.
515
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:26,460
Oh,my g. Congratulation you're
not gonna be able to talk back.
516
00:25:26,460 --> 00:25:27,830
You'll have pam to answer to.
517
00:25:27,830 --> 00:25:29,330
She'll be sitting at home to sayingack.
518
00:25:29,330 --> 00:25:31,420
"jim,take the baby to the zoo,"
519
00:25:31,420 --> 00:25:36,870
'cause i want to sit at home and eat
bonbons and--and clip my toenails."
520
00:25:36,870 --> 00:25:39,860
"jim,hey,why don't you braid my hair?
521
00:25:39,860 --> 00:25:41,020
I want to watch tv.
522
00:25:41,020 --> 00:25:42,540
" now you sound like kermit.
523
00:25:42,540 --> 00:25:44,200
Are you sure this is the right way?
524
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:48,070
Nope. I,like you,have
never been here before.
525
00:25:48,930 --> 00:25:51,710
Well,at least slow down a little bit,
526
00:25:51,710 --> 00:25:55,350
because every lile bump in
the road is major pain on...
527
00:25:56,050 --> 00:25:57,070
My scrotum.
528
00:25:57,070 --> 00:25:59,150
Look,i'm t the one who
asked you to do a split
529
00:25:59,150 --> 00:26:00,370
when you'd never done one before.
530
00:26:00,370 --> 00:26:02,890
,noi watrying to liven
things up a little bit,okay?
531
00:26:02,890 --> 00:26:04,420
I was kind of doing yourob,so...
532
00:26:04,420 --> 00:26:08,690
My job? My job is to get married
in the morning. That's my job.
533
00:26:08,690 --> 00:26:12,610
Well,it's also to make sure that we have
a great time at your stupid wedding,so...
534
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:38,110
Ust spent the night with the bride
thnight before the dding. Oh,yeah.
535
00:26:39,250 --> 00:26:41,810
She stepped on my hand on
her way to the bathroom,so...
536
00:26:41,810 --> 00:26:44,870
Andy,did i dream that you
were crying through the night?
537
00:26:45,490 --> 00:26:47,780
No. No,that was real.
538
00:26:55,140 --> 00:26:57,290
Why don't you take a
picture? It'll last longer.
539
00:26:57,290 --> 00:27:00,320
God. Can ali get a little privacy?
540
00:27:10,550 --> 00:27:12,230
Good morning. How can i help you?
541
00:27:12,230 --> 00:27:16,700
I left a pair of dress shoes in
a bag outside my door last night
542
00:27:16,700 --> 00:27:18,470
to be cleaned and polished,
543
00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:20,640
but they haven't been returned yet.
544
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,600
You must be mr. Malone.
One moment please.
545
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:24,740
Thanyou.
546
00:27:24,740 --> 00:27:27,270
Sir,this is the man withhe shoes.
547
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,470
Mr. Mane,your shoes are gone.
548
00:27:32,470 --> 00:27:34,040
They were stolen?
549
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,500
- No,deroyed.
- What?
550
00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:40,630
When the bag was opened by our
shoeshine,the smell ovcame him.
551
00:27:40,630 --> 00:27:45,460
I,too,smelled them d made the
choice that they must be thrown away.
552
00:27:46,100 --> 00:27:50,170
- Incinerated,actuall.
- but that was my only pair of shoes.
553
00:27:50,170 --> 00:27:52,240
It became a safety issue,sir.
554
00:27:55,130 --> 00:27:56,750
Well,damn it.
555
00:27:56,750 --> 00:27:59,830
I can offer you a
complimentary breakfast.
556
00:28:01,090 --> 00:28:02,540
Okay.
557
00:28:03,860 --> 00:28:04,990
You have everything?
558
00:28:04,990 --> 00:28:07,770
- Cell phone? Charger?
- Yeah.
559
00:28:08,310 --> 00:28:09,850
So you sure you don't want breakfast?
560
00:28:09,850 --> 00:28:11,610
It's the most important meal of the day.
561
00:28:11,610 --> 00:28:13,490
It really is. I'm not hungry.
562
00:28:13,490 --> 00:28:16,380
I ate a whole bunch of sunflower
seeds afteyou went to sleep.
563
00:28:16,380 --> 00:28:20,690
And besides,i wouldn't want to take you
away from pam onhe morning of her wedding.
564
00:28:20,690 --> 00:28:22,390
She needs you,isabel.
565
00:28:22,390 --> 00:28:24,320
That's really sweet,dwight.
566
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:25,710
Well. So i'll see you at the wedding?
567
00:28:25,710 --> 00:28:27,020
- You know it.
- 'Kay.
568
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:29,990
- Okay. Get out of here.
- Bye.
569
00:28:29,990 --> 00:28:31,230
Okay?
570
00:28:31,230 --> 00:28:32,730
Hey. Good morning.
571
00:28:33,330 --> 00:28:36,360
It's about damn time. I haven't gone
to the bathroom a day and a half.
572
00:28:36,910 --> 00:28:39,890
Oh,my god,dwight! This room is a pit.
573
00:28:39,890 --> 00:28:43,660
Really? Hadn't noticed.
Too sy knockin' boots.
574
00:28:48,290 --> 00:28:50,000
How can you eat like that?
575
00:28:50,370 --> 00:28:53,790
I'm ravenous after a
night of lovemaking. You?
576
00:28:54,140 --> 00:28:56,220
Yeah,i'm hungry,but i'm not
gonna make a pig out of myself.
577
00:28:56,220 --> 00:28:57,920
Hey,what was she like?
578
00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:59,330
She was cute.
579
00:28:59,330 --> 00:29:02,650
You know,she was hot. She was very hot.
580
00:29:02,650 --> 00:29:04,930
She made love li a tiger.
581
00:29:04,930 --> 00:29:07,500
Bride side or groom side? Or townie?
582
00:29:07,500 --> 00:29:09,180
She was from europe.
583
00:29:09,180 --> 00:29:10,530
- No kidding.
- Uh-huhi know.
584
00:29:10,530 --> 00:29:12,300
- Bet she had hairy armpits.
- No.
585
00:29:12,300 --> 00:29:17,100
Isabel was nice,but i hope she
doesn't think this is going anywhere.
586
00:29:17,730 --> 00:29:21,330
Wait a second. You're not
into her? Are you kidding me?
587
00:29:21,330 --> 00:29:23,300
- No.
- She's pam's best friend. You guys could double date.
588
00:29:24,890 --> 00:29:27,900
- Ap maybe?
- Oh,please. Put a gun in my uth.
589
00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:29,090
No,you're crazy.
590
00:29:29,090 --> 00:29:31,240
Look,she's a dental
hygiest from carbondale,
591
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:32,400
and she makes love like one.
592
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:34,160
She's a bumpkin. Pass.
593
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:35,260
595
00:29:36,860 --> 00:29:38,090
You have to take x-rays.
596
00:29:38,090 --> 00:29:40,470
You have to scrape the
plaque off ofeople's teeth.
597
00:29:40,470 --> 00:29:42,810
You hao tell kids when
to spit and make sure
598
00:29:42,810 --> 00:29:44,800
that they're not scared
when the dentist comes in.
599
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,150
- It--it-- - you
should ask her out.
600
00:29:48,670 --> 00:29:52,040
I already have a european girlfriend.
601
00:30:00,660 --> 00:30:02,520
Oh,my god.
602
00:30:04,190 --> 00:30:06,920
Oscar. Angela.
603
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,310
Are you in a lot of pain?
604
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,270
Oh 'cause of last night? No way.
605
00:30:13,270 --> 00:30:15,520
Reports have been exaggerated.
606
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:17,790
Weddings make me very emotional.
607
00:30:17,790 --> 00:30:20,720
I,uh,i just have that side to me.
608
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,870
Yeah,people say you cry all the time.
609
00:30:22,870 --> 00:30:24,830
Well,that's.
610
00:30:26,100 --> 00:30:28,660
Crotch injuries arthe worst.
611
00:30:28,660 --> 00:30:30,780
You don't need to tell me.
612
00:30:31,220 --> 00:30:32,720
I wasn't telling you.
613
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,630
- There's stl something there?
- Excuse me?
614
00:30:36,270 --> 00:30:38,090
It didn't get torn off?
615
00:30:38,570 --> 00:30:43,030
No,they didt-- nothing got
torn off. Who told you that?
616
00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:45,390
I may have told some people that.
617
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:47,030
I'm nervous.
618
00:30:47,030 --> 00:30:48,700
I'm about to get married.
619
00:30:49,210 --> 00:30:50,850
If youant to sit on this...
620
00:30:51,890 --> 00:30:55,640
I was thinking the wood might be
too hard on your damaged penis.
621
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:57,600
Make it softer.
622
00:31:00,630 --> 00:31:02,010
It's my scrotum.
623
00:31:02,010 --> 00:31:05,370
Um,and it was. Thank you.
624
00:31:05,370 --> 00:31:06,480
Sure.
625
00:31:12,590 --> 00:31:13,760
Here we go.
626
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:17,110
They asked for cash,bu you
know,i give 'em cash every week.
627
00:31:17,110 --> 00:31:19,720
So how much cash does a person need?
628
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:23,700
I have taken it upon myself to do
something a little more special.
629
00:31:23,700 --> 00:31:27,120
I have painted a portrait of
the two of them from memory.
630
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,290
And i have another one them in the nude.
631
00:31:33,290 --> 00:31:35,580
But that one is for me.
632
00:31:41,620 --> 00:31:46,190
I got them a set of turtle-iling
pots,shell hammer,and bibs.
633
00:31:48,010 --> 00:31:51,040
Is it zipping overour
belly? Don't squish the by.
634
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:52,350
Thank you,weirdo.
635
00:31:52,350 --> 00:31:55,730
Everybody see kristy's
stupid,blond extensions?
636
00:31:55,730 --> 00:31:57,970
E it's like they were
made from a plastic broom.
637
00:31:57,970 --> 00:31:59,660
Okay,here com oh,pam.
638
00:32:01,340 --> 00:32:04,580
Oh,darling,you look beautiful.
639
00:32:04,580 --> 00:32:05,840
Thanks,mom.
640
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,880
- I hope he deserves you.
- He does.
641
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:12,540
Are you sure? Remember,you
don't have to do this. You don't.
642
00:32:12,540 --> 00:32:14,970
M,you're totally
projecting and being a drag.
643
00:32:14,970 --> 00:32:16,460
Yes. Thank you,mom.
644
00:32:16,460 --> 00:32:19,270
Hey,um,i'm gonna go
outside and talk to dwight.
645
00:32:19,270 --> 00:32:21,830
Oh,okay. Great. Yeah,i'll
see you in a second.
646
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:27,410
Wait,what? Oh! Oh,no.
647
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:34,910
Can you come here please?
648
00:32:34,910 --> 00:32:36,390
Is this allowed?
649
00:32:36,390 --> 00:32:40,310
No,no. But i'm allowing
it. Just come here.
650
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:43,180
That was an intelligent comment.
651
00:32:43,180 --> 00:32:45,680
Hello,strger. How do i look?
652
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:49,700
Oh. Fine. Abel,nice to see you.
653
00:32:50,650 --> 00:32:51,980
What do you want?
654
00:32:53,300 --> 00:32:55,340
Um,nothing...
655
00:32:55,660 --> 00:32:57,020
Anymore.
656
00:32:57,020 --> 00:33:03,240
So,uh,tell me again the difference
between filene's and filene's basement.
657
00:33:04,350 --> 00:33:05,990
He's not sitting with me,either.
658
00:33:06,990 --> 00:33:09,670
Where are you sitting?
You need a seat,buddy?
659
00:33:09,670 --> 00:33:11,500
I'm standing. I'm a bridesmaid.
660
00:33:11,500 --> 00:33:13,280
Oh. I wish i was a bridesmaid.
661
00:33:14,770 --> 00:33:16,580
Where am i gonna go?
662
00:33:22,340 --> 00:33:24,540
- You look...
- Terrible.
663
00:33:24,540 --> 00:33:26,420
So beautiful.
664
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:32,400
My veil tore.
665
00:33:34,620 --> 00:33:37,840
I knew when we were getting
married ani'm five months pregnant
666
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:42,790
that i'm not gonna be able to wear the
dress that i always wanted,or high heels.
667
00:33:42,790 --> 00:33:46,740
Hey. You look just as i imagined you.
668
00:33:46,740 --> 00:33:48,950
Pam,you're so pretty.
669
00:33:51,250 --> 00:33:53,000
Thank you.
670
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:54,780
And who cares?
671
00:33:54,780 --> 00:33:57,590
It's a stupid veil,right?
672
00:33:57,590 --> 00:34:02,570
No,this is the one thing i was supposed
to be able to control was this veil.
673
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,430
There. Now we're even.
674
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:23,880
Everyone's driving me crazy.
675
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:28,040
I knoway too muc about andy's scrotum,
676
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:32,380
and my mom won't stop freaking
out about my dad's new girlfriend.
677
00:34:34,370 --> 00:34:36,980
Ugh. This is supposed
to be our wedding day.
678
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:40,390
Why did we invite all these people?
679
00:34:56,120 --> 00:35:00,030
Thoffim ran away usshe knew deep
dodown she uldn't be a good wife.
680
00:35:00,030 --> 00:35:01,440
Yes.
681
00:35:02,740 --> 00:35:03,880
Whatre you doing?
682
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,200
I'm trying to decide
if i have time to pee.
683
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:09,300
- How long do you take to pee?
- The peeing is fast,oscar.
684
00:35:09,300 --> 00:35:11,750
It's getting my tie back on.
685
00:35:16,380 --> 00:35:19,230
Do you--would you have
a snack in your purse?
686
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:21,990
You're a mom. I just
figured you might have--
687
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:25,400
Oh. Ooh,apricot.
688
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:28,220
Do you have any of the very
berry or ocean splash,or--?
689
00:35:28,220 --> 00:35:31,700
- No.
- Oh. Okay. Were you saving it?
690
00:35:31,700 --> 00:35:34,350
Oh,no,no. That's okay. I just,uh...
691
00:35:35,790 --> 00:35:39,090
I've had a very rough weekend.
692
00:35:39,090 --> 00:35:40,390
Oh. I'm sorry.
693
00:35:41,170 --> 00:35:45,070
Ugh. Apricot. Made of real apes.
694
00:35:46,430 --> 00:35:50,970
- Do you thi ey cancel?
- Relax. You'll get your shot at jim.
695
00:35:50,970 --> 00:35:54,370
Those two treat the whole
offi like a 1970s key party.
696
00:35:56,420 --> 00:35:58,180
My weekend's bad so far.
697
00:35:59,820 --> 00:36:01,860
Oh i cameere hoping to meet somebody.
698
00:36:01,860 --> 00:36:04,840
You know,as you do at weddings.
699
00:36:05,620 --> 00:36:09,550
End up going to sleep
by the vending machine.
700
00:36:09,550 --> 00:36:11,060
It was loud,but it was warm.
701
00:36:11,060 --> 00:36:12,470
Oh,that sounds awful.
702
00:36:12,470 --> 00:36:16,570
And-- and the love of my
life is dating somebody else.
703
00:36:16,570 --> 00:36:18,410
Oh it's just...
704
00:36:19,030 --> 00:36:21,140
It is a terrible yea for love.
705
00:36:21,140 --> 00:36:24,110
Yeah. I guess it is.
706
00:36:24,110 --> 00:36:26,590
Thinking about having my sperm frozen.
707
00:36:28,420 --> 00:36:30,020
Excuse me,are you michael scott?
708
00:36:30,020 --> 00:36:31,290
Um,yeah.
709
00:36:31,290 --> 00:36:33,400
Ard you might have a
whoopee cushion on you.
710
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,550
Our sister's in the can,and we totally
want to get he when she comes back.
711
00:36:36,620 --> 00:36:40,880
Oh. Wow. That sous
hilarious. I do,actual.
712
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,000
There you . Use it in good health.
713
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:45,780
Whoa,whoa,whoa. Wait a minute.
714
00:36:45,780 --> 00:36:49,400
What is the etiquette on taking the
gift can you only take your own back,
715
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:51,880
or is it a whatever-you-can-carry
type of thing?
716
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:54,830
Anyone have anything they
want to trade for a toaster?
717
00:36:54,830 --> 00:36:58,100
- Does it have slotfor hot dogs?
- No.
718
00:36:58,100 --> 00:36:59,560
Who would want it?
719
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:04,320
Guys,maybe we should wait a little
more time before we star grabbing boxes.
720
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:07,290
- Toby.
- Dwight.
721
00:37:07,290 --> 00:37:11,130
I'd like to lodge a formal complaint against
jim for making us wait for over an hour.
722
00:37:11,130 --> 00:37:12,960
God.
723
00:37:20,060 --> 00:37:23,620
You. Get in there.
724
00:37:23,620 --> 00:37:26,340
well,i guess this wedding
is not gonna happen.
725
00:37:26,860 --> 00:37:28,680
Woer if this is it for them.
726
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,040
Hey,what happened? Where were you guys?
727
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:35,550
Do you know how long
i've been waiting here?
728
00:37:35,550 --> 00:37:38,520
Well,we areere now,so let's go.
729
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:40,130
S! Yes!
730
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:45,170
I have so much joy in my
heart right now. How do i look?
731
00:37:45,170 --> 00:37:47,270
- You look great.
- You look great.
732
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:52,320
Wear a tie much?
733
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,510
I begged them not to.
734
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,970
I know you specifically put this
song on your do not play list.
735
00:38:32,970 --> 00:38:36,150
- Yes,i did.
- I'sorry.
736
00:38:36,150 --> 00:38:38,680
Go ahead. I think it'sour turn
737
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:40,480
wait,what happened?
You're okay with this?
738
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:42,090
Yeah,i'm okay.
739
00:38:42,090 --> 00:38:43,740
Okay then.
740
00:38:44,670 --> 00:38:48,670
- Hey,pam. Did you see this? It was on youtube.
- Saw it.
741
00:41:25,850 --> 00:41:29,510
I bought those boat tickets the
day i saw that youtube video.
742
00:41:30,150 --> 00:41:31,600
I knew we'd ne a backup plan.
743
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:35,180
The boat was actually
plan c,the urch was plan b,
744
00:41:35,180 --> 00:41:40,140
and plan a was marrying
her a long,lo time ago.
745
00:41:41,220 --> 00:41:43,210
Pretty muc the day i met her.
746
00:41:43,210 --> 00:41:46,360
-=http://bbs.sfileydy.com=-
Proudly Presents
747
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:49,430
-=http://bbs.sfileydy.com=-
Sync: ¿¨»Ò
748
00:41:49,430 --> 00:41:52,240
the office us s06e04
749
00:41:52,240 --> 00:41:54,840
Ob wh an awesome party.
750
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:57,200
E best wedding i've ever been to.
751
00:41:57,200 --> 00:41:59,240
I got six numbs.
752
00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:03,460
One more would have been a
complete telephone number.
753
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:05,980
This waspic.
754
00:42:05,980 --> 00:42:14,610
Myleenex shoes were a huge conversation
pie,but man,myogs are barking.
755
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:25,080
My feet were ssweaty,i
can't ev feel the cold.
756
00:42:26,140 --> 00:42:29,820
What a lovely hotel. Okay.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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