1
00:00:01,390 --> 00:00:03,140
****
2
00:00:03,210 --> 00:00:06,010
****
3
00:00:06,630 --> 00:00:08,100
- Stanley?
- Thank you.
4
00:00:08,170 --> 00:00:09,010
Oh,no,no,no.
5
00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:11,750
I got a pumpernickel just for you.
6
00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:14,150
H and h.
7
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:17,280
You went all the way to new
york city to get us bagels?
8
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:19,990
Oh,why,is there a place
closer that sells them?
9
00:00:20,060 --> 00:00:21,160
This was really nice,dwight.
10
00:00:21,190 --> 00:00:22,710
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
11
00:00:22,750 --> 00:00:24,070
Oh,don't mention it.
12
00:00:24,140 --> 00:00:25,540
You owe me one.
13
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,000
You all owe me one.
14
00:00:27,210 --> 00:00:29,040
- Good morning,michael.
- Good morning,dwight.
15
00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:29,900
Hungry?
16
00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:32,200
No.I had a fish stick sandwich.
17
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,930
Actually,i had two
fish stick sandwiches.
18
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,610
My girlfriend didn't want hers,
19
00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,370
because i guess i'm the
only aphrodisiac she needs.
20
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,030
Fish sticks are not an aaphrodisiac.
21
00:00:40,070 --> 00:00:41,130
You're thinking of deer penis.
22
00:00:41,170 --> 00:00:42,000
It worked.
23
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:44,330
Regardless,that was over two hours ago,
24
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:48,470
and it is now a scientific
fact that you are hungry--bagel?
25
00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:50,200
I don't mind if i do.
26
00:00:50,310 --> 00:00:51,700
Okay,i brought cheese too.
27
00:00:51,770 --> 00:00:53,490
I'm taking one for my lady friend.
28
00:00:53,570 --> 00:00:55,210
- Excellent.
- Brain food.
29
00:00:55,250 --> 00:00:56,970
- Thank you very much.
- Okay.
30
00:00:58,430 --> 00:00:59,510
You owe me.
31
00:00:59,590 --> 00:01:03,070
Can't a guy just buy some bagels for
his friends so they'll owe him a favor,
32
00:01:03,110 --> 00:01:08,330
which he can use to get someone fired who
stole a co-manager position from him anymore?
33
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:13,600
Jeez... When did
everyone get so cynical?
34
00:01:14,330 --> 00:01:17,210
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
Proudly Presents
35
00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:25,460
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
Sync:ÇmÖíƤ
36
00:01:32,450 --> 00:01:34,590
The Office
Season 6 Episode 8
37
00:01:35,050 --> 00:01:37,060
Pam,would you care for a bagel?
38
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:38,200
Oh,no,thank you.
39
00:01:38,270 --> 00:01:41,380
Oh,that's right,you're a woman,and
you need to refuse food the first time.
40
00:01:41,420 --> 00:01:42,960
I'll try again.
41
00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,750
Please,pam,reconsider and have a bagel.
42
00:01:45,820 --> 00:01:47,560
I have an early lunch.
43
00:01:48,460 --> 00:01:52,730
Michael's been trying to get jim and me to
hang out ever since he started dating my mom.
44
00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:55,670
I don't know,i really hoped
this thing would just die out.
45
00:01:55,740 --> 00:02:00,470
But today he's planning a birthday
lunch for my mom,and we have to go.
46
00:02:01,140 --> 00:02:02,560
No way out.
47
00:02:04,150 --> 00:02:05,910
No way out.
48
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,610
These are amazing.
49
00:02:07,650 --> 00:02:08,700
You took all these?
50
00:02:08,770 --> 00:02:11,740
I've always found beauty
in uncommon places.
51
00:02:11,810 --> 00:02:12,970
Homeless people.
52
00:02:13,010 --> 00:02:16,370
Graffiti photography
lets me capture all that.
53
00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:18,320
Have you ever been photographed before?
54
00:02:18,390 --> 00:02:19,550
Just by,like,friends.
55
00:02:19,590 --> 00:02:22,050
Well,here's what i've
been doing around here.
56
00:02:22,660 --> 00:02:25,480
It's for a series on
exposure in the workplace.
57
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,520
Pammy?
58
00:02:26,590 --> 00:02:29,900
- Hey...
- hi.
59
00:02:30,290 --> 00:02:31,900
- Happy birthday.
- Thank you.
60
00:02:31,940 --> 00:02:34,490
Girls...there they are.
61
00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:35,910
Birthday
lunch.Birthday lunch--
62
00:02:35,950 --> 00:02:39,870
there's no better medicine
than birthday lunch.
63
00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:45,320
It'll cure all of your,"gee,i don't know
if michael should be dating my mother,"
64
00:02:45,700 --> 00:02:50,820
and fixes all occurrences of,"i
don't really see them together.
65
00:02:50,860 --> 00:02:55,650
" so open wide,pam,and take a big ol'
spoonful of birthday lunch medicine.
66
00:02:55,690 --> 00:02:57,720
Take with food.
67
00:02:58,290 --> 00:03:01,930
Pam,aren't you gonna introduce
us to michael's girlfriend?
68
00:03:01,970 --> 00:03:04,100
I think you guys all remember
my mom from the wedding.
69
00:03:04,130 --> 00:03:06,250
Yeah,i think everyone's
met helene.Shall we?
70
00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,720
Wait a minute,is that another
birthday present for me?
71
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:10,850
'Cause you already gave me a necklace.
72
00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:12,270
Oh,my god,i love it.
73
00:03:12,310 --> 00:03:14,140
- Tell her how you gave it to me.
- No,that wouldn't be...
74
00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:17,220
he put it around my neck while
i was still asleep this morning.
75
00:03:17,250 --> 00:03:18,490
What a nice way to wake up.
76
00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:22,990
Yeah,the rest of the story has been
censored due to inappropriosity.
77
00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:24,600
- Because of sex?
- Kevin!
78
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:27,490
Hey,please,kevin... You're fired.
79
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,110
Sorry.
80
00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:30,050
Work with a bunch of idiots.
81
00:03:30,090 --> 00:03:31,970
- Shall we go?
- Yes,let's go.
82
00:03:32,710 --> 00:03:33,990
Oh,wait.
83
00:03:34,060 --> 00:03:37,380
Swartz lumber is on the phone for
you,pam,and they say it's urgent.
84
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,710
You guys,just one second.
85
00:03:41,610 --> 00:03:43,310
Oh,my gosh!
86
00:03:43,710 --> 00:03:45,590
Are you serious?
87
00:03:46,010 --> 00:03:47,340
Shipping emergency.
88
00:03:47,370 --> 00:03:48,620
I don't think i can go to lunch.
89
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,360
Oh,man,that's crazy.
90
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:51,900
We were on our way out too.
91
00:03:51,950 --> 00:03:53,910
I know.Isn't that always how it goes?
92
00:03:53,950 --> 00:03:56,260
Rarely,if ever.
93
00:03:56,310 --> 00:03:57,570
Let me give it a whirl.
94
00:03:57,630 --> 00:03:58,990
- I want to handle it.
- That's okay.
95
00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:00,790
- I feel like.
- It's my pleasure.
96
00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:02,770
Hello?Well,that's great.
97
00:04:03,030 --> 00:04:04,910
Turns out the paper was there all along.
98
00:04:05,050 --> 00:04:06,830
Oh,thank god.
99
00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:08,990
Something's up.
100
00:04:09,070 --> 00:04:11,290
That paper was never supposed to arrive.
101
00:04:11,410 --> 00:04:13,670
So,pammy,are you still liking sales?
102
00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:15,930
Yeah.It's exciting.
103
00:04:16,650 --> 00:04:20,470
Uh,you know,michael and i were talking,
104
00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:24,360
and maybe if you put in a little more
face-to-face time with your clients,
105
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,600
you could improve your sales.
106
00:04:26,630 --> 00:04:28,280
Pam's sales are fine,actually.
107
00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,200
Just want you to succeed,pammy.
108
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:33,140
You know what?We shouldn't even
be talking about business today.
109
00:04:33,180 --> 00:04:34,120
Thank you.
110
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:35,610
Today's about family.
111
00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:37,760
Why did i get in the car?
112
00:04:37,830 --> 00:04:39,470
I could have struggled.
113
00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:42,240
I have a whistle in my
purse.I didn't even blow it.
114
00:04:43,670 --> 00:04:46,250
Oh,dwight,i have a
little surprise for you.
115
00:04:46,290 --> 00:04:49,240
Let me guess,you ate the
bagel i gave you and loved it.
116
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:50,670
Yes.
117
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:53,290
And i wanted to return the favor.
118
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,560
I was polishing my loafers,
119
00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:58,770
and i happened to look over and notice that
your briefcase was a little worse for the wear.
120
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:04,030
So a little elbow grease,and she's
polished right up,back to her former glory.
121
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:06,350
- Oh,well...
- Feel it against your cheek.
122
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,490
I will.
123
00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:10,540
You give me a
gift--Thank you note.
124
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:13,330
You invite me
somewhere--Rsvp.
125
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:17,450
You do me a
favor--Favor returned.
126
00:05:18,620 --> 00:05:20,810
Do not test my politeness.
127
00:05:20,950 --> 00:05:22,250
Let me get that door for you.
128
00:05:22,330 --> 00:05:23,260
- there we go.
- Thank you very much.
129
00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:27,170
- And i got it for you.
- Oh,goodness.Thanks
130
00:05:27,390 --> 00:05:29,680
Hey,you know,here's
a healthy fitness tip.
131
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,410
If you clench your buttocks
together while walking,
132
00:05:31,460 --> 00:05:33,180
you can really take the
pressure off your knees.
133
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,790
- Is that right?
- Observe.
134
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:38,500
- Right?
- That really works.
135
00:05:38,540 --> 00:05:40,100
Yeah,feel free to use that anytime.
136
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:42,410
- Okay...
- hold on a second.
137
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:45,900
Do not walk around with
your jacket cattywampus.
138
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:47,850
And that needs to be
straight as an arrow.
139
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:49,180
Thank you very much.
140
00:05:50,210 --> 00:05:51,550
- Oh,boy.
- Okay.
141
00:05:51,580 --> 00:05:53,300
Thank you very much for that.
142
00:05:54,070 --> 00:05:57,690
- Have a seat.Please.
- Have a seat yourself.
143
00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:02,790
You know what,i am going to preemptively
change the batteries in your wireless mouse.
144
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:04,020
- Not necessary.
- No,no,no.
145
00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:05,910
You don't have to do that.
146
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,130
Andy is complicating things.
147
00:06:08,170 --> 00:06:09,430
But i'm not worried.
148
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,340
This will only up my game.
149
00:06:12,420 --> 00:06:14,680
Hello."scott," table for four.
150
00:06:14,710 --> 00:06:16,600
Welcome,scott family.
151
00:06:16,740 --> 00:06:18,210
It'll be just a moment.
152
00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:19,860
I used to love coming here.
153
00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:21,300
The chicken parm is good.
154
00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:22,820
Big part of my childhood.
155
00:06:23,110 --> 00:06:25,720
Oh,maybe michael will
start dating that too.
156
00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:27,500
What table should we take?
157
00:06:27,530 --> 00:06:29,200
So many to choose from.
158
00:06:30,260 --> 00:06:32,440
- Oh,my god!
- What?
159
00:06:32,510 --> 00:06:37,230
All i see are boring old tables
with no birthday decorations.
160
00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:38,530
Oh,wait a second!
161
00:06:38,570 --> 00:06:39,900
You mean this one?
162
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:42,990
Michael,you did all this?
163
00:06:43,060 --> 00:06:45,280
It's not about taking credit.Let's
just say we all did it.
164
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,550
Well,thank you.All of you.
165
00:06:47,660 --> 00:06:50,270
Well,it was actually me alone,so....
166
00:06:50,570 --> 00:06:52,100
Wow,look at this place.
167
00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:54,010
It really makes me want
to go to italy someday.
168
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,440
Oh,you'll love it.
169
00:06:55,510 --> 00:06:56,970
You can have my guide books.
170
00:06:57,030 --> 00:06:59,050
I think i'm done with those
really long plane rides.
171
00:06:59,130 --> 00:07:02,490
Oh,thank you for-- thanks
for lending me the book.
172
00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:05,790
So,mom,which birthday are
we celebrating this year?
173
00:07:05,830 --> 00:07:07,370
Oh,sticking with 49.
174
00:07:07,410 --> 00:07:08,670
49 again?
175
00:07:08,710 --> 00:07:09,990
That's nine years in a row.
176
00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:11,900
This is now our longest
family tradition.
177
00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:13,420
That's funny.
178
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,640
Well,as long as you're running
numbers,pam,help me out with this one.
179
00:07:16,710 --> 00:07:19,340
Let's see,honey,you're
six months pregnant,
180
00:07:19,420 --> 00:07:21,400
but you've only been
married for 30 days.
181
00:07:21,470 --> 00:07:23,020
So what does that add up to?
182
00:07:23,090 --> 00:07:24,860
Ooh,burn.Burn on you.
183
00:07:24,930 --> 00:07:26,450
And a little bit on me too.
184
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,960
You're 54 years old.
185
00:07:29,070 --> 00:07:31,000
No,i'm 58.
186
00:07:32,370 --> 00:07:34,120
You're 58 years old?
187
00:07:35,410 --> 00:07:37,160
Congratulations.
188
00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:41,400
The only time you should care about a
woman's age is if she is too young for you.
189
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,490
And i am not robbing the cradle.
190
00:07:44,610 --> 00:07:48,340
If anything,i am robbing the grave.
191
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,930
Mom,have you decided what
you want to be called?
192
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,810
I like "nana."
193
00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:55,060
but i also like the classic "grandma."
194
00:07:55,130 --> 00:07:56,720
- please be grandma.I want you to be grandma.
- Definitely a grandma.
195
00:07:56,790 --> 00:07:59,280
Michael,what do you think?Grandma?
196
00:08:01,990 --> 00:08:03,360
Grandma.
197
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:11,860
Hey,would you guys ever
do a triathlon,you think?
198
00:08:12,070 --> 00:08:13,280
Maybe.
199
00:08:13,350 --> 00:08:14,500
Helene?
200
00:08:14,580 --> 00:08:15,260
Oh,oh,no.
201
00:08:15,330 --> 00:08:16,200
I don't think so.
202
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:17,190
I am.
203
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,390
I'm definitely gonna do it.
204
00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:20,530
I've already got the run
and the bike thing down.
205
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:22,360
I just need to learn how to swim.
206
00:08:22,430 --> 00:08:23,790
Come on,you in?
207
00:08:23,820 --> 00:08:27,610
No,no,i think a triathlon is pretty
much something i can rule out.
208
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,560
It just doesn't interest me.
209
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:30,950
So it's a matter of interest.
210
00:08:30,990 --> 00:08:32,180
Good.Okay.
211
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,390
It's not anything you
would have ever done.
212
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:37,130
Mm,i might have done
it when i was younger,
213
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,600
but now there are just other things that
i'd rather be doing than running and jumping.
214
00:08:40,670 --> 00:08:42,640
Well,there's no jumping in a triathlon.
215
00:08:43,300 --> 00:08:44,780
You're thinking the broad jump.
216
00:08:44,820 --> 00:08:46,260
Would you try...
217
00:08:46,330 --> 00:08:47,890
- Bungee jumping?
- No.
218
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,050
- Snowboarding?
- No,no.
219
00:08:49,090 --> 00:08:50,140
You want to go snowboarding?
220
00:08:50,180 --> 00:08:51,750
I might.
221
00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:54,340
Michael,what are you talking about?
222
00:08:55,340 --> 00:08:56,600
Nothing.
223
00:08:56,640 --> 00:09:03,400
Just life and... Doing
things... Before you die.
224
00:09:03,450 --> 00:09:04,670
I don't know.
225
00:09:04,740 --> 00:09:06,370
Do i really want to go snowboarding?
226
00:09:06,410 --> 00:09:07,880
No.
227
00:09:07,950 --> 00:09:11,650
But i-- i would like
to if i wanted to.
228
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,090
What's going on in here?
229
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:19,240
Andy bought lunch.
230
00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:20,890
Oh,no,really?
231
00:09:22,050 --> 00:09:24,610
Took a page right out of the
old schrute book of niceness.
232
00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:26,810
There is no book.There's
only a survival guide.
233
00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:30,590
You bought breakfast for
everyone,so i got lunch for everyone.
234
00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:32,760
Okay,well,allow me.
235
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:33,650
You know
what--
236
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:36,390
gosh,these tacos are
awfully complicated to make.
237
00:09:36,460 --> 00:09:38,620
I will make everyone's tacos.
238
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,190
So we should get the check?
239
00:09:42,260 --> 00:09:44,040
- What about your gift,michael?
- Oh,no,no,no.
240
00:09:44,110 --> 00:09:46,810
No,it's stupid.You'd hate it.I hate it.
241
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,360
- I'm sure i won't.
- Yes,you will.
242
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:51,250
He locked himself in his office
all morning working on it.
243
00:09:51,330 --> 00:09:53,230
Oh,gimme!Look at this wrapping paper.
244
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,760
It's got the word "love"
on it in every language!
245
00:09:55,830 --> 00:09:59,670
I literally--i put no thought
into the wrapping at all.
246
00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:02,130
Might as well have been toilet paper.
247
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,760
Toilet paper...
248
00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:09,510
"a scrapbook of our first
memories,"by michael gary scott.
249
00:10:09,580 --> 00:10:13,230
For my girlfriend
helene on your birthday."
250
00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:15,730
that's just an arbitrary title.
251
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,140
Okay,here's a penny.
252
00:10:17,180 --> 00:10:18,620
- What's that from?
- Penny for your thoughts.
253
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,270
It was from the wishing
well at the mall.
254
00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:24,420
You threw it in,and i went back
later,waded in,and i found it.
255
00:10:24,650 --> 00:10:25,750
That's amazing!
256
00:10:25,820 --> 00:10:27,610
It's not amazing at all.
257
00:10:27,630 --> 00:10:30,150
It's sort of weird that
i went and did that.
258
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,920
And now your wish won't
come true,so that blows.
259
00:10:33,370 --> 00:10:36,100
- A poem.
- Oh,that i plagiarized,i think.
260
00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:40,420
"i cannot go to school today
said little peggy ann mckay,"
261
00:10:40,950 --> 00:10:42,360
- is that shel silverstein?
- Yeah.
262
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,980
"i have the measles and the mumps,a
gash,a rash,and purple bumps,
263
00:10:46,050 --> 00:10:51,160
and my teacher's really mean--
happy birthday,i love you,helene."
264
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:52,880
that's really nice,michael.
265
00:10:52,910 --> 00:10:54,770
Well,i think it sucks.
266
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:57,420
I think it's
wonderful.Absolutely wonderful.
267
00:10:57,460 --> 00:10:59,590
Well,that's because you and
i have very different taste.
268
00:10:59,630 --> 00:11:01,130
And you like lame things.
269
00:11:01,210 --> 00:11:05,150
It's a generational
sort of gap between us.
270
00:11:05,220 --> 00:11:07,260
God,a scrapbook.
271
00:11:07,340 --> 00:11:08,520
Home run,michael.
272
00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:11,500
- You set the bar so high.
- That was a bunt.
273
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:14,910
Whoa,whoa,whoa,dwight,i'm gonna do this.
274
00:11:14,980 --> 00:11:16,280
Hey,hey,hey,relax.
275
00:11:16,310 --> 00:11:17,410
I got it covered.
276
00:11:17,470 --> 00:11:20,650
- No,no,no.
- No,i insist.
277
00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:24,140
Okay,dwight,this is ridiculous.
278
00:11:24,220 --> 00:11:26,380
Don't worry about
it.You can just owe me.
279
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:29,210
Hey,where'd you go?
280
00:11:29,350 --> 00:11:30,700
Oh,just went to the bathroom.
281
00:11:30,770 --> 00:11:33,140
And then you stopped at
the bar on the way back?
282
00:11:33,210 --> 00:11:34,710
Got thirsty.
283
00:11:34,790 --> 00:11:36,030
Okay,weirdo.
284
00:11:36,090 --> 00:11:37,420
Come on,it's time for cake.
285
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:38,650
Oh,okay.
286
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:42,690
Honestly,for a long time i thought
i was going to grow old with holly.
287
00:11:43,150 --> 00:11:46,960
And then i met helene,and she is great.
288
00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:52,850
And she already knows and has done
everything that i have ever wanted to do,
289
00:11:53,140 --> 00:11:56,230
and can tell me about it.
290
00:11:56,890 --> 00:12:01,410
But i think i want to
do those things myself.
291
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:02,510
The cake's really good.
292
00:12:02,550 --> 00:12:03,570
Oh,i know.
293
00:12:03,610 --> 00:12:05,390
I love it when they use
butter-cream frosting.
294
00:12:05,430 --> 00:12:07,440
Finish your cake,helene.
295
00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:12,890
I want you to enjoy that cake because i
have something terrible i need to tell you,
296
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:20,120
and i want you to enjoy your cake before
i tell you this terrible,terrible thing.
297
00:12:21,870 --> 00:12:24,360
Al helene,i think you're
a wonderful person,
298
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:29,440
and i--god,i've enjoyed dating you
and being your boyfriend so much.
299
00:12:29,510 --> 00:12:32,270
But i ve to consider pam's feelings.
300
00:12:32,340 --> 00:12:35,290
As a friend and a -worker,
301
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:41,470
i cannot in good conscience continue to
date you when i knowhat this is doing to her.
302
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:45,000
Michael--
michael,it's--it's okay.
303
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,250
No,it's n.
304
00:12:46,290 --> 00:12:48,590
I know that it took me a
little while to come aund,
305
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:55,590
and it's still a little ird to get used
to,but you obviously make my mom very happy.
306
00:12:56,390 --> 00:12:58,630
And that makes me happy.
307
00:12:59,330 --> 00:13:02,380
Wow,tt just--
u've really grown.
308
00:13:03,010 --> 00:13:04,050
Well...
309
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,700
Oh,thank you,pam.
310
00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:10,600
And i hope you're as gracious
during this next part.
311
00:13:11,740 --> 00:13:16,390
Hene,once again,you are a wonderful
person,and you have lived a great life.
312
00:13:16,430 --> 00:13:17,400
And i envy it.
313
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:18,940
And i want it,someday.
314
00:13:18,970 --> 00:13:20,850
But just in the ture.
315
00:13:21,130 --> 00:13:23,600
You need somebody who-- o
understands your references.
316
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:24,940
Who is kafkaesque?
317
00:13:24,980 --> 00:13:27,250
I've never--i
n't know him.
318
00:13:28,670 --> 00:13:32,120
There's another woman,and
her name is italy...
319
00:13:32,150 --> 00:13:34,850
ii and skydiving... And ngee jumping.
320
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:36,090
Okay,so...
321
00:13:36,130 --> 00:13:37,480
And i want kids.
322
00:13:37,510 --> 00:13:41,770
And you,unfortunately,have already completed
that part of your journey down there.
323
00:13:41,810 --> 00:13:44,240
- Michael!
- It's not my decision.It's mother nature.
324
00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,730
Anmother has very strict rules about...
325
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:56,850
fertility.
326
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,720
Yeah,i,um... I got it.
327
00:14:00,050 --> 00:14:01,690
I'm 58.
328
00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:03,610
What am i supposed to do now?
329
00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:06,040
- Well,hobbies...
- Stop.
330
00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:11,690
- What's going on?
- Stupid thing wedged up there.
331
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,220
No one in this office will help me.
332
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:14,480
Move it.
333
00:14:14,670 --> 00:14:16,970
What id dwight dies and
i still owe him something?
334
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,170
That is a recipe for a ghost.
335
00:14:19,210 --> 00:14:22,500
- Oh,yeah,you're gonna owe me big tim.
- it's like a litt envel...there you go.
336
00:14:22,530 --> 00:14:25,000
G it."to dwight"?
337
00:14:28,510 --> 00:14:29,690
A starbucks gift card.
338
00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:31,600
Surprise!
339
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,710
It's for everybody.
340
00:14:34,050 --> 00:14:36,170
$15 valu.
341
00:14:37,130 --> 00:14:40,190
damn it!I am no closer toaking jim down.
342
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:42,030
Ugh,what a waste of the day.
343
00:14:42,110 --> 00:14:45,690
I could have grown poison mushrooms
that'd be this high by now!
344
00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:47,810
They're mushrooms.
345
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,490
They don't get that high.
346
00:14:49,820 --> 00:14:51,550
Pamela beesly halpert.
347
00:14:51,630 --> 00:14:53,770
- What?
- Ii may i have a word with you in my office,please?
348
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:54,590
I am working.
349
00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:57,870
Well... This is a work-related matter.
350
00:14:57,900 --> 00:14:59,610
- Really?
- Yes.
351
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,590
- Really?
- Yes.
352
00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:03,630
Join me,please,won't you?
353
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:10,360
- I'm going to give you a raise,pam.
- Y?
354
00:15:10,430 --> 00:15:12,600
Because of all the gd work you've done.
355
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,600
I have the lowest
salerecord of anyone here.
356
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:16,060
No,just,just d't,no.
357
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:17,260
It's not about numbers,pam.
358
00:15:17,290 --> 00:15:18,370
It's about attitude.
359
00:15:18,410 --> 00:15:21,070
I have the worst
attitude of any person re.
360
00:15:21,260 --> 00:15:23,860
Do you want the raise or what?
361
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,290
- Yeah,i'll take it.
- Okay.
362
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,060
Hey,pam.
363
00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:29,270
With this raise there
are strings attached.
364
00:15:29,790 --> 00:15:35,650
Anthe string is attached from
my heart to your mean attitude.
365
00:15:35,730 --> 00:15:36,710
You're bribing me.
366
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:39,340
No,no.No,am not.
367
00:15:39,380 --> 00:15:41,280
Unless you want me to.You want me to?
368
00:15:41,390 --> 00:15:43,620
'Cause iill.I will bribe you.
369
00:15:43,780 --> 00:15:48,550
No...your face is saying don't.
370
00:15:48,590 --> 00:15:51,090
Unless i haven't offered you enough.
371
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:53,820
Yourace isn't changing.
372
00:15:54,770 --> 00:15:56,080
What is it?
373
00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:59,120
Talk to me,face.Tell me
what pam's brain is thinking.
374
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,880
Oh,come on,what do you
want?What do you want?
375
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,240
Do you want a million dollars?
376
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,540
Do you want toit me?
377
00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:07,180
You want me to get down
on one knee and beg you?
378
00:16:07,210 --> 00:16:09,310
- I want to hit you.
- What?
379
00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:11,240
I want to hit you.I'll do that.
380
00:16:12,470 --> 00:16:14,780
Okay.What?
381
00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:16,300
I don't-- are
you kidding?
382
00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:17,480
No.Are u kidding?
383
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,780
Ye--no.I don't--
all right,come on.
384
00:16:20,820 --> 00:16:23,660
I'll take off my jacket d
tense my stoma,and you just...
385
00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:28,190
No,i dot think i can
hit you in t office.
386
00:16:28,250 --> 00:16:29,630
Ay.
387
00:16:29,730 --> 00:16:32,190
So we'll do it after work m?
388
00:16:32,220 --> 00:16:33,710
In t parking lot.
389
00:16:33,740 --> 00:16:35,620
In front of everyone.
390
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,210
I'm gonna hit you as hard as i c.
391
00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:39,030
Okay.
392
00:16:39,070 --> 00:16:40,160
- Okay.
- Okay.
393
00:16:40,190 --> 00:16:41,760
- See you en.
- Seyou.
394
00:16:46,990 --> 00:16:47,880
Quick question.
395
00:16:49,710 --> 00:16:51,140
Are you scared?
396
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:52,790
Never.
397
00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:53,960
About what?
398
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,040
A litt.What are you talking about?
399
00:16:55,070 --> 00:16:56,330
Heard about the punch.
400
00:16:56,370 --> 00:16:57,310
- What punch?
- Pam.
401
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,960
She's gonna punch the crap
out of your face ter work.
402
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,020
I'm pretty sure we said "slap."
403
00:17:02,060 --> 00:17:02,990
no,it's aunch.
404
00:17:03,020 --> 00:17:05,010
And pam has that crazy
pregnancy strength now.
405
00:17:05,050 --> 00:17:09,580
I'm getting concerned th you don't seem
to understand what's going to happen.
406
00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:11,220
Do you?
407
00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:13,680
Uh.M good.
408
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:15,240
All right,see you tre.
409
00:17:17,860 --> 00:17:20,140
- Do you and pam ever get frisky?
- Inappropriate.
410
00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:23,280
I mean,do you er
wrestle with each other?
411
00:17:23,340 --> 00:17:24,720
- L the time.
- Really?
412
00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:26,710
- Is she strong?
- She wants it bad,michael.
413
00:17:26,740 --> 00:17:27,960
Can you st this?
414
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,810
- I can.
- Okay.
415
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:33,040
- And i don't support her choice to hit you.
- I n't either.
416
00:17:33,070 --> 00:17:35,380
But at the same time,she goes crazy.
417
00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:38,240
And i do understand her reasoning.
418
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:40,200
I know.
419
00:17:40,270 --> 00:17:41,280
I just need some time.
420
00:17:41,350 --> 00:17:42,650
- Give me some time to think about it.
- You gottdo something.
421
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,170
- Give me some time to make a decision.
- How much time doou need?
422
00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:48,060
- No me than a week.Maybe two.
- Come on,man!
423
00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:49,890
Pam,can i talk to you for a second?
424
00:17:49,930 --> 00:17:51,880
i heard about the hit.
425
00:17:51,910 --> 00:17:53,870
Just to be sure,it's off
company property,right?
426
00:17:53,910 --> 00:17:54,900
- Right.
- Okay
427
00:17:54,940 --> 00:17:56,790
i think it should probably be okay.
428
00:17:56,830 --> 00:17:58,380
- Okay.
- Okay.
429
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:04,420
And... The--the power
comes from the back foot.
430
00:18:04,620 --> 00:18:08,180
So it's all one tion througthe body.
431
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,890
So there's-- you
stay a little low.
432
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:12,580
There's a twist.
433
00:18:12,610 --> 00:18:14,130
You keep your shoulder down.
434
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,230
U kind of throw t the arm.
435
00:18:18,070 --> 00:18:19,520
Okay,wait.
436
00:18:19,930 --> 00:18:21,680
It's-- you're saying
it comes from thfoot?
437
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:22,910
Yes.
438
00:18:22,950 --> 00:18:24,280
Okay.
439
00:18:24,690 --> 00:18:26,910
Yeah.Okay.
440
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,970
Hey,everybo,he's not in the men's room,
441
00:18:30,010 --> 00:18:32,790
although the seat was rm,so
we may have just missed him.
442
00:18:32,860 --> 00:18:34,070
My money's on pam.
443
00:18:34,110 --> 00:18:36,840
It's not a fight what other
outcome could there be?
444
00:18:36,910 --> 00:18:38,080
Michaecould win.
445
00:18:38,110 --> 00:18:39,050
How?
446
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:39,970
Hean't his back.
447
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,830
Why can't you just
agree with me sometimes?
448
00:18:43,060 --> 00:18:45,240
Am i scared of getting
hit in the face?No.
449
00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:50,180
Every day,weirdos pay dominatrices
hundreds of dollars for that very privilege.
450
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,230
I'm scared i'm gonna love it.
451
00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:54,720
Let's do this!
452
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:56,750
It's okay,guys,i can handle this.
453
00:18:56,930 --> 00:18:58,100
Everybody can go home.
454
00:18:58,170 --> 00:19:00,120
We're here for the show,michael.
455
00:19:00,220 --> 00:19:02,270
You'reust a bunch of voyeurs.
456
00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:03,510
Are you eating popcorn?
457
00:19:03,550 --> 00:19:04,810
Has almost no calories.
458
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:06,090
You ready?
459
00:19:07,310 --> 00:19:08,160
Yes.
460
00:19:09,620 --> 00:19:11,560
- You ve to keep your hands down,michael.
- I know.
461
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,720
okay.All right.
462
00:19:16,790 --> 00:19:17,580
No!God!
463
00:19:17,620 --> 00:19:19,160
Michael!You have to keep your hds down.
464
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,730
Put your hands in your pockets.
465
00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:22,310
Okay.
466
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,860
Pam!Pam...
467
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,390
M really sorry.I'm sorry.
468
00:19:33,430 --> 00:19:34,560
What are you sorry for?
469
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,030
So many things.I don't
know,it's hard to choose.
470
00:19:37,060 --> 00:19:38,830
How 'bout for dating my mom.
471
00:19:38,870 --> 00:19:40,760
- Maybe that's...
- and dumping her on her birthday.
472
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,260
Yes.
473
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:52,030
Okay,just... Don't ever date
a member of my family again.
474
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,340
Okay.No problem.
475
00:19:56,220 --> 00:19:58,320
For the record,your mom came on to me.
476
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,340
Holy crap!
477
00:20:04,430 --> 00:20:06,330
- Are you okay?
- No!
478
00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:08,200
You're okay.
479
00:20:09,410 --> 00:20:10,550
Feel better?
480
00:20:10,620 --> 00:20:12,370
No.You were right.
481
00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:16,100
Com wait,why are you limping?
482
00:20:16,170 --> 00:20:17,410
I don't know.
483
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,280
Let's get some raw meat on that face.
484
00:20:19,350 --> 00:20:21,320
I've got a chicken in
the freezer upstairs.
485
00:20:21,390 --> 00:20:25,850
As i watched pam's big,strong
hand coming toward my face,
486
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:29,090
i saw my entire life
flash before my eyes.
487
00:20:29,170 --> 00:20:30,510
And guess what.
488
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,240
I have four kids.
489
00:20:32,930 --> 00:20:35,540
And i have a hover-car
and a hover-house.
490
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:40,160
And my wife is a runner,and it shows.
491
00:20:40,420 --> 00:20:44,290
And pam and jim are my best
friends,and our kids play together.
492
00:20:44,970 --> 00:20:51,730
And i am happy,i'm rich,and i never die.
493
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:56,490
It doesn't sound like
much,but it's enough for me.
494
00:20:57,450 --> 00:20:59,530
Good,good.Just keep it on
there for another five minutes.
495
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,380
Let the swelling go down.
496
00:21:02,710 --> 00:21:04,190
Oh,thank you.
497
00:21:04,260 --> 00:21:06,640
Thanks.I owe you one,dwight.
498
00:21:08,670 --> 00:21:09,930
Fire jim.
499
00:21:09,980 --> 00:21:11,210
No.
500
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,250
I'm cashing in the favor.Fire him!
501
00:21:13,290 --> 00:21:14,340
- What are you talk...
- do it!
502
00:21:14,370 --> 00:21:15,260
Promote me.
503
00:21:15,310 --> 00:21:17,150
- Tri-managers?
- Forget that.
504
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:18,390
- Can i have an office?
- No.
505
00:21:18,430 --> 00:21:21,530
You know what?You can keep your
stupid favor.It's worthless.
506
00:21:21,610 --> 00:21:24,190
And this is my dinner on
your face.I'm keeping it!
507
00:21:25,580 --> 00:21:27,490
Oh,that feels better.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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