1
00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:02,810
You wanted to see me?
2
00:00:02,810 --> 00:00:03,880
Yeah. Have a seat.
3
00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:05,300
Is it serious?
4
00:00:09,060 --> 00:00:11,690
- Andy's a wittle scawed.
- Okay,right there.
5
00:00:12,710 --> 00:00:14,220
Right there is the problem.
6
00:00:14,630 --> 00:00:16,910
There have been reports
around the office
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that you have been talking baby talk.
8
00:00:20,750 --> 00:00:21,890
Why would people say that?
9
00:00:21,890 --> 00:00:27,580
Well,I have it on good authority
that you said the following.
10
00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:29,160
Can you read that back to me?
11
00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:31,060
"Andy have a boo-boo tummy.
12
00:00:31,450 --> 00:00:33,450
Would you rather me say
13
00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:38,140
"hey,guys,my irritable bowel
syndrome is flaring up"?
14
00:00:38,140 --> 00:00:40,430
- Okay.
- "Crazy diarrhea happening right now."
15
00:00:40,430 --> 00:00:42,220
'cause things can get
real adult,real fast.
16
00:00:42,220 --> 00:00:44,790
You are also on record
as saying "wittle-ittle,"
17
00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:46,330
"footy-wutties," "num nums,"
18
00:00:46,330 --> 00:00:48,890
"jammies," "make
boom-boom," "widicuwous,"
19
00:00:48,890 --> 00:00:50,810
and "wode iwand."
20
00:00:50,810 --> 00:00:53,530
Do I sometimes replace rs with ws?
21
00:00:53,530 --> 00:00:55,730
Do I sometimes repeat a
word to get my point across?
22
00:00:55,730 --> 00:00:58,880
Well,if I do,andy's sowwy.
23
00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:01,850
You can't be a baby in the office.
24
00:01:01,850 --> 00:01:04,710
It makes me look like I hire babies.
25
00:01:04,710 --> 00:01:05,880
Well,if we're complaining,
26
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,740
a lot of people think your
elvis voice is annoying
27
00:01:07,740 --> 00:01:10,150
- okay,who said that?
- I don't... Just people.
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For the record,I think
it's pretty fantastic.
29
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Well,thank you. Thank you a lot.
30
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,140
And for what it's worth,I
think your baby voice is tops.
31
00:01:18,140 --> 00:01:22,220
- Tank you,Mr. Elwis.
- ****
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00:01:23,380 --> 00:01:33,320
-=http://bbs.sfileydy.com=-
Proudly Presents
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00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:40,450
-=http://bbs.sfileydy.com=-
Sync: ¿¨»Ò
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the office us
S06E11
35
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,410
Tuna,md,I have some terrible news.
36
00:01:48,410 --> 00:01:49,870
Wait,are you the patient or the doctor?
37
00:01:49,870 --> 00:01:54,640
The entire office has come down with
a pernicious case of the mondays.
38
00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:56,640
What do you put our chances at?
39
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,070
0%.
40
00:01:58,070 --> 00:02:02,900
Unless we perform an immediate
emergency morale transplant,stat!
41
00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:07,150
- Sounds risky.
- Don't worry. There is a surefire cure.
42
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,110
Employee of the month.
43
00:02:09,570 --> 00:02:11,590
Every awesome place I've worked had one.
44
00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:14,850
Bear stearns. Lehman brothers. Aig.
45
00:02:15,150 --> 00:02:16,850
My summer at enron.
46
00:02:16,850 --> 00:02:18,590
Wow,that's not such a bad idea.
47
00:02:18,590 --> 00:02:21,740
Great! Anything else? Nope.
48
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:26,310
Frankie's dirty joke of the day?
49
00:02:26,310 --> 00:02:27,960
- There's a bunch of those.
- Keep.
50
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,740
There's a bunch of sent emails
that just say "delivered.
51
00:02:30,740 --> 00:02:31,930
" Should I delete all those?
52
00:02:31,930 --> 00:02:34,270
I want to keep those so
I can see what I sent.
53
00:02:34,270 --> 00:02:36,530
- That's why you have a "sent mail" folder.
- Keep.
54
00:02:36,530 --> 00:02:40,660
- There's about 30 news alerts for "nip slip.
- " For what?
55
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,270
- "Nip slip.
- " Oh,okay.
56
00:02:42,270 --> 00:02:43,900
I don't know how those get there.
57
00:02:43,900 --> 00:02:45,960
- Well...
- Must be hackers.
58
00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:49,350
What's up?
59
00:02:49,350 --> 00:02:52,560
What if I told you I had
done the worst thing ever,
60
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:53,990
would you still want to be my friend?
61
00:02:53,990 --> 00:02:55,110
Did you murder someone?
62
00:02:55,110 --> 00:02:57,880
- Worse than that.
- Oh,my god.
63
00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,470
Lurk much?
64
00:03:01,150 --> 00:03:02,670
I Miss pam.
65
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:06,530
I think she's okay.
66
00:03:06,530 --> 00:03:08,990
Is that what we're
going for now? "okay"?
67
00:03:09,380 --> 00:03:11,260
We used to go for "pretty good.
68
00:03:11,260 --> 00:03:13,160
" Great. Hey,how do you feel about
69
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,260
starting an employee
of the month program?
70
00:03:15,260 --> 00:03:16,480
Yeah.
71
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,740
You know what,that actually
might make me feel better.
72
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,370
I'm not in this for the trophies,but...
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00:03:20,370 --> 00:03:23,020
You're not in it at all 'cause you can't
be employee of the month,you're a manager.
74
00:03:23,020 --> 00:03:24,860
Well,technically,I am a co-manager.
75
00:03:24,860 --> 00:03:26,600
And I barely have any responsibilities.
76
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:29,570
But I work hard,I love this
company,and for those reasons,
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00:03:29,570 --> 00:03:31,620
I think I would make a
good employee of the month.
78
00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:32,810
It would look bad. Sorry.
79
00:03:32,810 --> 00:03:34,680
It would look good on my mantle.
80
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,470
jim's talking to michael right now ?
81
00:03:37,470 --> 00:03:39,730
they totally went for our idea.
82
00:03:39,730 --> 00:03:41,320
Yeah!
83
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:43,670
Your idea. My idea.
84
00:03:43,670 --> 00:03:45,530
I just need andy to think it's his idea
85
00:03:45,530 --> 00:03:47,780
so it won't get traced back to me.
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00:03:48,990 --> 00:03:50,990
In approximately six hours,
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00:03:50,990 --> 00:03:53,540
jim will get a phone
call from david wallace.
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00:03:53,830 --> 00:03:55,520
He will be fired.
89
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:59,000
Hey,pam,do you have a sec
to check over this itinerary?
90
00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:02,900
- Looks great.
- Oh,did you really look it over?
91
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:04,450
Felt like maybe you didn't.
92
00:04:04,450 --> 00:04:05,770
Okay.
93
00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,900
The michael scott foundation
is still in existence.
94
00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:12,880
There you are. I don't think
we have finished with my inbox.
95
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:14,930
What's "scott's tots"?
96
00:04:20,380 --> 00:04:22,840
Has it really been ten years?
97
00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:27,850
"local businessman pledges
college tuition to third graders.
98
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:34,300
" Michael,why did you promise that?
99
00:04:34,300 --> 00:04:35,730
To change lives.
100
00:04:35,730 --> 00:04:38,770
No,michael,why would you promise that?
101
00:04:38,770 --> 00:04:41,770
Yeah,okay,I... Call the school. Cancel.
102
00:04:41,770 --> 00:04:42,980
I can't go through with this.
103
00:04:42,980 --> 00:04:44,840
We've already rescheduled seven times.
104
00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:48,490
Michael,this is a
terrible,terrible thing you've done.
105
00:04:48,490 --> 00:04:51,170
- Well... It's terrible.
- No.
106
00:04:51,170 --> 00:04:53,210
Just terrible.
107
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,880
And the longer you put it
off,the worse it's gonna get.
108
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,520
I just... I fell in
love with these kids.
109
00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:01,540
And I didn't want to see them
fall victim to the system.
110
00:05:01,540 --> 00:05:02,570
So I made them a promise.
111
00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:05,520
I told them that if they
graduated from high school,
112
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,730
I would pay for their college education.
113
00:05:08,730 --> 00:05:11,100
I've made some empty
promises in my life,
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00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:14,930
but hands down,that
was the most generous.
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00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:17,880
Just tell me it is going
to be okay,all right?
116
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:21,260
- No!
- I'm not a bad news person. I bring good news.
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00:05:21,260 --> 00:05:24,070
Like when I promised those
kids i'd pay for college.
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00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,460
Okay. All right.
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00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:29,340
You have to tell them.
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00:05:29,340 --> 00:05:32,970
Would you come with me? You
know,like old times instead of...
121
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:38,460
I can print out a new
itinerary with pam's name on it.
122
00:05:38,460 --> 00:05:40,500
It's fine. Erin,you're going to go.
123
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:42,450
And you're going to make
sure michael tells the truth.
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00:05:42,450 --> 00:05:46,000
Agh,god,you know what,could
this day get any worse?
125
00:05:46,530 --> 00:05:48,850
Hey,jimmy,what's up?
126
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,510
- Not much.
- Cool. Very cool.
127
00:05:52,510 --> 00:05:56,870
I bet if you tried,you uld grow the
best beard of anyone in this office.
128
00:05:56,870 --> 00:05:58,360
Thanks,dwight.
129
00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:01,740
- That laugh is so infectious.
- You're creeping me out. I'm gonna go.
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00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,310
I didn't mean any of
those things I just said.
131
00:06:04,310 --> 00:06:06,640
And you can expect the same thing
132
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,220
from everyone in this office
133
00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:11,520
if you don't nip this whole employee
of the month situation in the bud.
134
00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,940
Make it about the work.
135
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:15,960
Let me guess,you think
you should get it.
136
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:19,660
This encompasses all available data.
137
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:24,190
Hours. Tardiness. Unconfirmed
sick days. Participation.
138
00:06:24,190 --> 00:06:26,890
Everyone has been
assigned a random number
139
00:06:26,890 --> 00:06:29,850
for total fairness and transparency.
140
00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:32,600
Also,this should be
accompanied by a monetary prize.
141
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:33,720
Well,in an ideal world...
142
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,160
In an ideal world,I would have
all ten fgers on my left hand
143
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,260
so my right hand could
just be a fist for punching.
144
00:06:38,260 --> 00:06:39,690
Okay,if it's all the same to you,
145
00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:42,490
i'm just gonna take away "survival
skills" and "self-defense.
146
00:06:42,490 --> 00:06:44,790
" I'm gonna run this
by toby in accounting
147
00:06:44,790 --> 00:06:46,100
and have him assemble the data.
148
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:48,500
That's okay. I'll do it.
149
00:06:52,690 --> 00:06:54,210
Mr. Scott.
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00:06:55,260 --> 00:06:57,890
Hey,mikela lasker.
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00:06:57,890 --> 00:06:59,370
- How are you?
- I'm good.
152
00:06:59,370 --> 00:07:00,810
Good to see you. Where's your saxophone?
153
00:07:00,810 --> 00:07:02,380
It's in the music room,Mr. Scott.
154
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:04,470
Eighth grade graduation,she
gave a rendition of
155
00:07:04,470 --> 00:07:05,830
when the saints go marn
156
00:07:05,830 --> 00:07:07,080
that would blow your freaking mind.
157
00:07:07,780 --> 00:07:09,150
Well,you didn't even hear it.
158
00:07:09,150 --> 00:07:12,110
- Everyone's so excited that you're here today.
- Oh,good.
159
00:07:12,110 --> 00:07:14,320
Now,I know you probably
want to see everyone,
160
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,890
but I was wondering if I could
ask you some questions first.
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00:07:16,890 --> 00:07:18,230
- Sure.
- You're famous.
162
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:19,790
{a6}the ***
163
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,510
- I'm sure you remember this place.
- Oh,ye.
164
00:07:20,510 --> 00:07:23,710
- Do you want to go in?
- No,not at all. Nope. Come on.
165
00:07:25,460 --> 00:07:27,520
Oh,you know what,you know
what,I shouldn't go in there.
166
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:28,650
I'm pretty busy. I should...
167
00:07:28,650 --> 00:07:30,120
We just want to say thanks.
168
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,110
Mr. Scott,I know you're a busy man
169
00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:47,100
and your schedule moves around a lot,
170
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:51,030
but through all your generosity
through the years,your tots,
171
00:07:51,030 --> 00:07:52,600
who are ready to graduate,
172
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:56,170
thought it was time to
give you a proper thank you.
173
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:04,460
hey,Mr. Scott ?
174
00:08:04,460 --> 00:08:05,600
what you gonna do?
175
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,690
what you gonna do?
176
00:08:06,690 --> 00:08:08,160
Make our dreams come true ?
177
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,330
hey,Mr. Scott,what you gonna do?
178
00:08:10,580 --> 00:08:11,670
what you gonna do?
179
00:08:11,670 --> 00:08:13,210
Make our dreams come true ?
180
00:08:13,210 --> 00:08:14,900
you came into our lives
and made a promise ?
181
00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:17,320
that made us honest,made us realize ?
182
00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,470
we don't need to compromise
'cause we can have it all ?
183
00:08:20,470 --> 00:08:22,350
'cause you made it possible ?
184
00:08:22,350 --> 00:08:24,880
for us to achieve the improbable ?
185
00:08:28,350 --> 00:08:30,590
hey,Mr. Scott,what you gonna do?
186
00:08:30,590 --> 00:08:31,640
what you gonna do?
187
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,800
Make our dreams come true ?
188
00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:48,910
hey,so jim thought it would be
ideal if we all pitched in...
189
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:52,100
So jim thought it would be ideal
190
00:08:52,100 --> 00:08:54,160
if we all pitched in a twenty
191
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,130
for this whole employee
of the month thing.
192
00:08:56,130 --> 00:08:57,600
Jim said that?
193
00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:00,150
He thought you were doing
an incredible job last month.
194
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,380
Jim said that?
195
00:09:02,380 --> 00:09:03,640
You seem surprised.
196
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,410
No,no. That makes total sense.
197
00:09:10,610 --> 00:09:12,680
- Hey,buddy.
- Sure.
198
00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:14,370
So every...
199
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,530
Five minutes ahead of schedule.
200
00:09:19,050 --> 00:09:20,920
Right on schedule.
201
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,420
Politicians are always
coming around telling us
202
00:09:23,420 --> 00:09:25,000
they're going to fix our schools.
203
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,770
Promising this and that.
204
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:29,840
But you,Mr. Scott...
205
00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:32,430
You are actually doing it.
206
00:09:32,430 --> 00:09:34,110
You have taught these kids,
207
00:09:34,110 --> 00:09:36,960
with hard work that
anything is possible.
208
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,340
You are a dream maker.
209
00:09:39,340 --> 00:09:41,020
And I thank you.
210
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:45,630
I thank you.
211
00:09:45,630 --> 00:09:47,360
So much.
212
00:09:50,540 --> 00:09:52,230
There were a lot of times over the years
213
00:09:52,230 --> 00:09:54,420
where I was pressured to
get into the drug game.
214
00:09:54,420 --> 00:09:56,440
But I always thought back
to my guardian angel...
215
00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,870
And the gift that you gave me.
216
00:09:59,870 --> 00:10:01,580
So I just want to thank you
217
00:10:01,580 --> 00:10:04,110
for giving me the
opportunity to go to college,
218
00:10:04,110 --> 00:10:07,930
educate myself,and become
the next president obama.
219
00:10:07,930 --> 00:10:12,480
Oh,god. Oh,god.
220
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:17,020
Okay,ladies and gentlemen,welcome.
221
00:10:17,020 --> 00:10:18,250
I know you're all very excited.
222
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,410
But no matter who gets this,
223
00:10:20,410 --> 00:10:22,260
I just wanted to say that you guys are
224
00:10:22,260 --> 00:10:24,190
all employees of the month in my eyes.
225
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,900
And the winner is employee number nine.
226
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:30,250
And that is?
227
00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:33,250
Number nine,number nine.
228
00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:34,770
Jim halpert.
229
00:10:34,770 --> 00:10:35,820
What?
230
00:10:35,820 --> 00:10:37,910
- Are you kidding me?
- Oh,no.
231
00:10:37,910 --> 00:10:41,050
Okay,wait,I was not...
232
00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:42,650
I did not...
233
00:10:42,650 --> 00:10:44,620
I did not.
234
00:10:44,620 --> 00:10:46,520
That was not.
235
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:47,620
How come not?
236
00:10:47,620 --> 00:10:50,560
Guys,listen,this was
anonymous,all right?
237
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,250
There's no way I could've
given it to myself
238
00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:54,680
because I didn't even
know who was on here.
239
00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:56,760
I just gave it to the employee
with the highest overall score.
240
00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,650
To my tally,you just won
back your own parking spot,
241
00:10:59,650 --> 00:11:03,670
a vacation day,and a nice,tidy
quarter of $1,000 from all of us.
242
00:11:03,670 --> 00:11:05,060
Will everybody just stop for a second,
243
00:11:05,060 --> 00:11:06,860
'cause obviously I'm
not taking any of it.
244
00:11:06,860 --> 00:11:08,940
A mistake has been made
and we'll figure it out.
245
00:11:08,940 --> 00:11:10,630
Second of all,there was no cash prize.
246
00:11:10,630 --> 00:11:12,240
- Yes.
- Dwight?
247
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:13,820
Yeah,you said "in an ideal world,
248
00:11:13,820 --> 00:11:15,510
there would be a cash prize.
" Isn't that what you said?
249
00:11:15,510 --> 00:11:17,970
No,dwight,I meant
"yes,in a perfect world,
250
00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:19,290
someone would get money,but not...
251
00:11:19,290 --> 00:11:22,940
" yeah,but in your perfect
world,only you get money.
252
00:11:26,660 --> 00:11:29,760
Let's put your hands together
and give a warm welcome
253
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:32,930
for the man of the
hour,Mr. Michael scott.
254
00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:44,690
All right.
255
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:49,010
Um,I am never going to forget today.
256
00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:50,870
Not a chance.
257
00:11:50,870 --> 00:11:53,070
I don't think I could
ever give back to you
258
00:11:53,070 --> 00:11:54,960
what you have given me today.
259
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,170
Who here has done something
stupid in their lives,
260
00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:00,990
like skipped out on study
hall or mix up the difference
261
00:12:00,990 --> 00:12:02,940
between "a" gym and "b"
gym,that sort of thing?
262
00:12:02,940 --> 00:12:04,420
Show of hands. Anybody.
263
00:12:04,420 --> 00:12:06,790
Yes. Bunch of you. Okay. Well,me too.
264
00:12:06,790 --> 00:12:10,150
I've done something stupid,whh
I would like to share.
265
00:12:10,770 --> 00:12:12,680
Um...
266
00:12:15,010 --> 00:12:16,100
Should we go?
267
00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:18,810
Oh,no. We're okay. It's
a... It's a double period.
268
00:12:19,730 --> 00:12:20,750
All right.
269
00:12:20,750 --> 00:12:24,090
I came here today because
I promised you tuition.
270
00:12:24,090 --> 00:12:25,950
And tuition is very valuable.
271
00:12:25,950 --> 00:12:30,220
But you know what's
invaluable is intuition.
272
00:12:30,220 --> 00:12:31,600
You know what that is?
273
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:36,090
That is the ability to know when
something is about to happen.
274
00:12:37,110 --> 00:12:39,180
Does anybody out there have intuition?
275
00:12:39,180 --> 00:12:41,340
Know what's gonna happen next?
276
00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:42,690
Nobody? Okay.
277
00:12:42,690 --> 00:12:44,320
You're gonna make me say it.
278
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:49,280
All right,I am so proud of all of you.
279
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,110
Derrick,and lefervre,and...
280
00:12:53,110 --> 00:12:58,100
And ben,and ayana,and
mikela,and nikki,and jason,and...
281
00:12:58,100 --> 00:12:59,830
I'm... Sorry,okay.
282
00:12:59,830 --> 00:13:01,380
Sorry. Spacing. Your name.
283
00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:03,720
I'm zion. I'm mikela's younger brother.
284
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:06,970
Well,zion,I am not going to
be paying for your tuition.
285
00:13:09,950 --> 00:13:12,130
Which brings me to my
main point and that is
286
00:13:12,130 --> 00:13:15,450
that I will not be able to
pay for anybody's tuition.
287
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,920
I'm so,so sorry.
288
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,920
- You're kidding.
- Excuse me?
289
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:32,560
I'm sorry.
290
00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:38,840
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
291
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,640
You lied to us.
292
00:13:41,470 --> 00:13:43,500
I lied to myself too.
293
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:45,980
I'm not a millionaire.
294
00:13:45,980 --> 00:13:49,340
I thought I would be by the time
I was 30,but I wasn't even close.
295
00:13:49,340 --> 00:13:51,680
And then I thought maybe
by the time I was 40.
296
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:54,740
But by 40,I had less
money than when I was 30.
297
00:13:54,740 --> 00:13:56,370
Maybe by my 50s,I don't know.
298
00:13:56,370 --> 00:14:00,060
I wanted to pay for your education.
299
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,080
I really did.
300
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,160
It was my dream.
301
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,460
Some people have evil dreams.
302
00:14:05,460 --> 00:14:09,730
Some people have selfish
dreams or wet dreams.
303
00:14:09,730 --> 00:14:11,650
My dream was in the right place.
304
00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:12,790
You owe this to us.
305
00:14:12,790 --> 00:14:15,500
Okay,hold on. Hold on.
306
00:14:15,890 --> 00:14:19,390
Now I can't pay for your college.
307
00:14:19,390 --> 00:14:24,650
But you don't have to go
to class to be in class.
308
00:14:25,150 --> 00:14:28,120
Online courses are a viable option
309
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,570
to a traditional college experience.
310
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,780
And the best way to access those courses
311
00:14:32,780 --> 00:14:36,970
is with your own personal laptop.
312
00:14:36,970 --> 00:14:40,580
Which is rendered
useless without batteries.
313
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,680
And I have one for each of you.
314
00:14:46,610 --> 00:14:50,650
Hey,hold... Hold on. Hold
on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
315
00:14:50,650 --> 00:14:51,990
They're lithium.
316
00:14:56,150 --> 00:15:00,550
Look,there was a big
mistake,obviously,so I will fix it. Okay?
317
00:15:01,090 --> 00:15:02,420
This was your idea anyway.
318
00:15:02,420 --> 00:15:05,320
Correction. It was my idea.
319
00:15:05,990 --> 00:15:08,150
- Okay.
- My idea.
320
00:15:08,150 --> 00:15:10,910
Guys,I'm starting to think
pam's not even pregnant.
321
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:14,240
Okay. For the record,I am pregnant.
322
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:17,030
And,obviously,there's been
some kind of a mistake.
323
00:15:17,030 --> 00:15:20,760
So why doesn't jim just pick the
next highest score on the list
324
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,340
and we'll move on.
325
00:15:22,340 --> 00:15:23,930
- Yeah. Okay. -
That's fair. - Fine.
326
00:15:23,930 --> 00:15:25,840
- Excellent idea,pam.
- Thank you.
327
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:30,270
That would be employee
number three,which is...
328
00:15:30,270 --> 00:15:32,250
Son of a bitch!
329
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,100
Pam halpert.
330
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,150
How is that possible? No offense,pam.
331
00:15:38,150 --> 00:15:40,440
But how the hell is tt possible?
332
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,770
There must be some reasonable
explanation for this.
333
00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:46,540
No,wait,come on. I
- I didn't Miss a day.
334
00:15:46,540 --> 00:15:48,530
I came in early. I stayed late.
335
00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:50,420
And I doubled my sales last month.
336
00:15:50,420 --> 00:15:52,670
Oh,really,from what,two to four?
337
00:15:52,670 --> 00:15:53,870
yep.
338
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:56,980
Guys,this isn't some
elaborate scam,okay?
339
00:15:56,980 --> 00:16:00,770
Hi,I have an order here for
a custom cake,jim halpert.
340
00:16:00,770 --> 00:16:02,100
Okay.
341
00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:04,620
That is me,but I didn't order the cake.
342
00:16:05,350 --> 00:16:10,370
- Look who it is.
- "It could only be you.
343
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,330
- " Way to go.
- He knew all along.
344
00:16:13,350 --> 00:16:14,650
David wallace's office.
345
00:16:14,650 --> 00:16:18,100
This is kevin malone. Is david there?
346
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,820
No,he's in his weekly staff
meeting. Can I take a message?
347
00:16:20,820 --> 00:16:23,790
Tellim I'm mad at jim,
348
00:16:23,790 --> 00:16:27,500
'cause he's asking us
to give money to pam.
349
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:30,030
This is stanley hudson.
350
00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:33,020
Jim halpert is a menace.
351
00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:35,260
It's toby flenderson.
352
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:38,900
Listen,things are getting
really bad down here.
353
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:45,170
Hey,Mr. Scott.
354
00:16:47,930 --> 00:16:49,680
Erin,can you give us a second?
355
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,140
That was messed up what you did.
356
00:16:52,140 --> 00:16:55,340
Yeah. Yeah. I know. I
know. I know. I'm sorry.
357
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:57,020
Who does something like that?
358
00:16:57,020 --> 00:16:58,780
Who promises that to a bunch of kids
359
00:16:58,780 --> 00:17:00,990
and then just doesn't
come through like that?
360
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:04,130
What can I do?
361
00:17:04,130 --> 00:17:05,850
You can pay for my college.
362
00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:08,010
I can give you an extra laptop battery.
363
00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:09,760
Not everyone took one.
364
00:17:14,050 --> 00:17:15,670
How about this...
365
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,650
If you can find a way
to pay for your tuition,
366
00:17:19,250 --> 00:17:21,400
let me buy your books,okay?
367
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:22,460
They're expensive.
368
00:17:22,460 --> 00:17:25,760
Yeah,well,I owe you that at least,right?
369
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,630
It's about $1,000.
370
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,570
Really. That's...
371
00:17:30,570 --> 00:17:32,160
That's over $200 a year.
372
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,740
No,$1,000 each year. For...
373
00:17:34,740 --> 00:17:37,530
Okay. Okay.
374
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:41,540
Here's what I'm gonna do, i'm gonna
write four checks for $1,000 each.
375
00:17:41,970 --> 00:17:44,390
I'm going to date them one year apart.
376
00:17:44,390 --> 00:17:46,500
Now,you are to use one check a year.
377
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,050
- And please call me before you cash the check.
- Yeah. Yeah.
378
00:17:49,050 --> 00:17:51,380
'Cause I've got monies
to move around,okay?
379
00:17:51,380 --> 00:17:53,210
Make it out to my mom,ros
380
00:17:54,430 --> 00:17:55,990
that's a lot of zeroes.
381
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:01,770
- This is jim.
- Jim,what the hell is happening there?
382
00:18:01,770 --> 00:18:04,160
- Hey,uh,david.
- Yes.
383
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:07,320
So there was a little bit of
a miscommunication here today.
384
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,020
It's been a little
wild. Uh,but I am on it.
385
00:18:10,020 --> 00:18:13,100
Just so I understand,you
started employee of the month,
386
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,880
give it to yourself,then
people complain,
387
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,170
so you give it to your wife?
388
00:18:17,170 --> 00:18:18,570
- No.
- Am I missing something?
389
00:18:18,570 --> 00:18:20,300
I really don't know
how it happened,david.
390
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,210
I know how it happened.
391
00:18:29,690 --> 00:18:32,410
Jim,I bumped you up because I
thought you could make my life easier.
392
00:18:32,410 --> 00:18:35,450
If you can't do that,we're
gonna have a separate discussion.
393
00:18:36,110 --> 00:18:39,530
All right,it will not
happen again. I promise.
394
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,640
Uh,hey,I'm sorry. I'm
taking this out on you.
395
00:18:45,690 --> 00:18:46,850
No. It's been crazy here.
396
00:18:46,850 --> 00:18:49,030
You know I think you're
doing a great job,right?
397
00:18:49,030 --> 00:18:50,960
- What?
- Yeah. Thank you.
398
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,490
- No.
- Okay.
399
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:55,160
Hey,we still on for dinner this weekend?
400
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,040
- What?
- Yes. Okay.
401
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,250
- Oh,you're kidding me!
- See you.
402
00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:00,800
Damn it!
403
00:19:01,550 --> 00:19:03,910
hey,Mr. Scott,what you gonna do?
404
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:05,090
what you gonna do?
405
00:19:05,090 --> 00:19:06,680
Make our dreams come true ?
406
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,420
hey,Mr. Scott,what you gonna do?
407
00:19:09,420 --> 00:19:11,210
please stop.
408
00:19:12,370 --> 00:19:15,460
15 lives.
409
00:19:16,260 --> 00:19:18,570
I destroyed 15 young lives today.
410
00:19:18,570 --> 00:19:20,610
- No.
- Yes.
411
00:19:21,190 --> 00:19:23,230
No. There's financial aid.
412
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,550
Uh,they could join the army or the navy.
413
00:19:27,550 --> 00:19:29,700
You're what,like,12?
414
00:19:34,950 --> 00:19:39,980
The principal told me that 90% of
scott's tots are on track to graduate
415
00:19:39,980 --> 00:19:42,470
and that's 35% higher than
the rest of the school.
416
00:19:42,470 --> 00:19:46,280
So I think that if you
hadn't made that promise,
417
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,720
a lot of them would've dropped out,
418
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:51,990
which is something to
think about,I think.
419
00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:02,410
I think you're doing a great job.
420
00:20:03,780 --> 00:20:05,160
Really?
421
00:20:08,010 --> 00:20:09,270
What do you want from this job,
422
00:20:09,270 --> 00:20:11,720
provided the company
doesn't go out of business?
423
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,460
I've always wondered what it
might be like to be an accountant.
424
00:20:15,460 --> 00:20:16,530
- Really?
- Yes.
425
00:20:16,530 --> 00:20:18,810
But I'm terrible at math so...
426
00:20:19,210 --> 00:20:20,970
You know,when I hired kevin,
427
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:24,390
he was actually applying
for a job in the warehouse.
428
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,850
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
429
00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:29,030
I just sort of had a feeling about him.
430
00:20:31,620 --> 00:20:33,600
I have a feeling about you too.
431
00:20:37,140 --> 00:20:39,560
hey,Mr. Scott,what you gonnao?
432
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:40,950
what you gonna do?
433
00:20:40,950 --> 00:20:42,720
Make our dreams come true ?
434
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,540
hey,Mr. Scott,what you gonna do?
435
00:20:45,540 --> 00:20:46,830
what you gonna do?
436
00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:49,760
Make our dreams come true ? yeah.
437
00:20:52,650 --> 00:20:54,070
see you tomorrow,dwight.
438
00:20:54,890 --> 00:20:56,580
Apparently.
439
00:20:57,020 --> 00:20:59,080
- How's it going? Good day?
- Not now,temp.
440
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:03,200
Um,okay. So,um,listen.
441
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,280
I know about your diabolical plan.
442
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,870
What? Diabolical plan?
443
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:12,910
****
444
00:21:12,910 --> 00:21:15,140
I found a copy of it
hin the copier tray.
445
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,500
So what do you want?
446
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:19,320
I want the same thing you want.
447
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,580
I want to take jim halpert down.
448
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,980
I want in.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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