1
00:00:01,034 --> 00:00:03,025
I just wanted to check and see
if there was anything you needed
2
00:00:03,103 --> 00:00:04,968
before I went on
my maternity leave.
3
00:00:05,872 --> 00:00:07,169
(CHUCKLING) Yeah.
I'm pregnant.
4
00:00:08,541 --> 00:00:10,270
Great. Well,
I'll write up the order.
5
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:11,401
Wait a minute.
Okay, thanks.
6
00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:15,346
You can't do that. You cannot
exploit your baby for sales.
7
00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:17,383
Hey, did I tell you
we're gonna have a baby?
8
00:00:17,450 --> 00:00:20,283
(CHUCKLES) Thank you very
much. I'm excited... Oh.
9
00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:22,985
Definitely.
No. No!
10
00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:24,748
You need to come by
your sales honorably.
11
00:00:24,824 --> 00:00:27,384
There is nothing dishonorable
about talking about your life.
12
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:28,984
People like it.
13
00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:32,394
Hey, there.
Dwight Schrute here.
14
00:00:32,465 --> 00:00:36,026
Listen, uh, would you be
interested in restocking on paper?
15
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,303
Yeah, I could sure
use the money.
16
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:42,205
My cousin came down with a case
of that nasty new goat fungus.
17
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,738
Oh, it's just horrific.
18
00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:47,712
The doctor says he's never
seen it beard so quickly.
19
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:48,873
Okay.
20
00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:56,381
I need a baby. I'll never
outsell Jim and Pam without one.
21
00:00:57,023 --> 00:01:00,220
Also, I've been noticing
a gaping hole in my life.
22
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:03,855
Sometimes I wake up
cradling a gourd.
23
00:01:25,351 --> 00:01:26,943
Kevin, you're
such a gourmand.
24
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:30,012
I cooked my way through
Julia Child's cookbook,
25
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,820
and now I'm halfway through
The Twilight Cookbook.
26
00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:35,884
Last night, I had
Edward's cornflake chicken.
27
00:01:36,229 --> 00:01:37,287
Hmm.
28
00:01:37,363 --> 00:01:40,764
KEVIN: Pregnant Pam and I, we
get hungry at the same times,
29
00:01:40,967 --> 00:01:44,232
so we've been eating
together a lot. Not all meals.
30
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:49,635
Just second breakfast, lunch,
second lunch and first dinner.
31
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:54,308
I thought that maybe we should do
something special for early dinner.
32
00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:57,781
One last ultra feast.
33
00:01:57,851 --> 00:02:00,752
Mmm. That sounds great.
What are you thinking?
34
00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:02,310
I think it should be
a surprise.
35
00:02:02,388 --> 00:02:03,412
(GROANS)
36
00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:05,785
Getting there, huh?
37
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,451
No, no. I still have time.
38
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:10,894
I'm having contractions, but
they're irregular and far apart.
39
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:14,263
So I'm not really in labor,
I'm near labor.
40
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:16,666
Yeah. We're slow-playing it
because of our stupid HMO.
41
00:02:16,736 --> 00:02:17,828
PAM: If we check in
after midnight,
42
00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:20,395
I get an extra day to
recuperate surrounded by doctors.
43
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:21,940
JIM: Not to mention
the extra night's sleep
44
00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:23,339
in the hospital
will be very nice,
45
00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:25,343
because once we
bring the baby home,
46
00:02:25,411 --> 00:02:28,471
if it's crying all night, one of
us is gonna have to take care of it,
47
00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:31,415
and I do not plan on
helping unless it's a boy.
48
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:34,044
I cannot wait for
that joke to be over.
49
00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:35,176
Oh.
50
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:36,654
(EXCLAIMING)
51
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:40,215
MICHAEL: Contraptions! She's
contrapting! Okay, you know what?
52
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:43,124
I think that I should drive you guys
to the hospital, and here is why.
53
00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:46,097
I am a licensed Class C driver
in the state of Pennsylvania.
54
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,690
Michael.
I gassed up the car.
55
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:49,860
Actually, I put diesel in this
time. Tried to save some money.
56
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:50,960
Michael, you shouldn't
have done that.
57
00:02:51,037 --> 00:02:52,061
Happy to do it.
58
00:02:52,138 --> 00:02:55,107
Also, I did a heck of a job
baby-proofing this office.
59
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,767
You know the baby's not
gonna live here, right?
60
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,435
Well, the baby
was conceived here,
61
00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,069
so might as well live
here a little bit, too.
62
00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:03,547
Mmm. That logic's airtight, but
unfortunately it wasn't conceived here.
63
00:03:03,616 --> 00:03:04,913
Burning Man, Porta Potty.
64
00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:08,613
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
Yuck! TMI. How was it?
65
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,987
I don't want to know. Tell me
later. Let's go! Let's go! Hospital!
66
00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:13,787
Okay, okay, we're not
going to the hospital.
67
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:14,986
We are waiting
until midnight.
68
00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:17,291
Ooh! Spooky. But why?
69
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:19,854
Because the insurance company
only covers two nights.
70
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,696
Everything's fine.
We have plenty of time.
71
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:23,429
Well, you don't want
to wait too long, Pam.
72
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:25,198
Otherwise the baby's gonna
become a teenager in there,
73
00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:27,432
and you'll be up all night
from the rock music.
74
00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:31,068
Shut up, Nick. God!
What a weird thing to say.
75
00:03:31,644 --> 00:03:35,740
Weird IT nerd. Don't
get revenge on me, nerd.
76
00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:36,975
(CHUCKLES)
77
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:39,952
What are you looking at?
78
00:03:41,187 --> 00:03:42,279
Nerd.
79
00:03:42,922 --> 00:03:44,753
KELLY: Did you know that
labor can last weeks?
80
00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:47,588
Then they take your insides out
and they just plop them on a table,
81
00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:51,494
and sometimes epidurals don't
work, and you can poop yourself.
82
00:03:57,770 --> 00:03:59,067
Bear my child.
83
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:00,964
Excuse me?
84
00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:02,865
I want to have a child
for business reasons
85
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,432
and I want you
to be the mother.
86
00:04:04,510 --> 00:04:06,239
If you agree,
say nothing.
87
00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:08,075
If you disagree,
say anything.
88
00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:14,317
Very well.
Let's meet at 4:00 p.m.
89
00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:16,514
In our old meeting spot
and bang it out.
90
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,152
(EXHALES)
91
00:04:23,363 --> 00:04:25,297
That's seven minutes.
Here we go.
92
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:26,457
Hold on. Hold on.
This is happening.
93
00:04:26,532 --> 00:04:27,590
It isn't midnight yet.
94
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:29,191
Are you serious? Pam.
95
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,999
No, the doctor said
every five to seven minutes.
96
00:04:32,071 --> 00:04:34,437
I'm gonna be okay. We should
really try to make it to midnight.
97
00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:35,496
Pam, please.
98
00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:36,633
Yeah, no,
you really should,
99
00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:38,336
'cause if your
baby's born tomorrow,
100
00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:39,810
he's gonna have
the same birthday
101
00:04:39,879 --> 00:04:42,211
as Buttmud Brooks,
my old roommate.
102
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,716
Did you hear that?
Buttmud Brooks.
103
00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:50,115
Okay, but we are leaving
at five minutes apart.
104
00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:51,918
Five minutes apart.
105
00:04:52,258 --> 00:04:55,716
So the plan was seven minutes,
but we're calling an audible,
106
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:59,231
because that's her call,
'cause she's the quarterback.
107
00:04:59,999 --> 00:05:03,628
I'm just the left tackle who
happened to get her pregnant.
108
00:05:04,570 --> 00:05:06,037
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
109
00:05:06,105 --> 00:05:10,166
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Okay. Stop watching me.
110
00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:12,105
Okay, Crazy.
111
00:05:12,178 --> 00:05:13,702
I think I have some better
things to do with my day
112
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:16,248
than worry about you.
Like sell printers.
113
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,374
Mmm-hmm.
114
00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:20,749
Well, now until Friday, 20% off all
toner cartridges, that's a big deal.
115
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,448
While we're on the subject, why don't
I just run you down to the hospital
116
00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:24,785
and just do a quick
check? (CLICKS TONGUE)
117
00:05:24,857 --> 00:05:26,586
Not till midnight.
118
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:31,756
Guys, a word of advice,
speaking as a former baby.
119
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:34,090
Don't get too hung
up on baby names.
120
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:38,001
I was named Walter Junior
after my father,
121
00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:41,602
until I was about six or so, when
my parents changed their minds.
122
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:44,108
I thought you said your younger
brother was named Walter Junior.
123
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,236
My brother was born
124
00:05:46,312 --> 00:05:49,543
and my parents felt he better
exemplified the Walter Junior name,
125
00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:52,345
so they gave it to him.
I was given Andrew,
126
00:05:52,418 --> 00:05:54,613
which they got out
of a baby-name book.
127
00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:56,684
You know what? It's getting
really crowded in here.
128
00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:59,088
Maybe you guys should all go back
to work 'cause the day's not out yet.
129
00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:00,455
No, no, no.
You know what?
130
00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:01,618
You can't tell us
what to do
131
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,423
because you are not
co-manager anymore.
132
00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:04,554
ANDY: Yes!
133
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:06,996
I feel like this noise
is gonna prevent Pam
134
00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:09,057
from being able to listen
to her body's signals.
135
00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:11,296
Actually,
the distractions are good.
136
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,668
I don't think I'm gonna
make it till midnight
137
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:14,263
if I'm just sitting here
thinking about it.
138
00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:16,467
Distractions are good!
139
00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:20,569
That means conference room, five
minutes. No, no, five seconds!
140
00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:23,575
Right now, right now,
conference room.
141
00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:25,082
Topic, potpourri.
Let's go!
142
00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:27,984
MICHAEL: Um, I'm sort of
a master of distraction.
143
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,750
When I was a kid,
my mom received compliments
144
00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:32,381
left and right
from my teachers
145
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:36,485
on how I was always able
to distract others in class.
146
00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:40,757
Try to think, "What were
the first 13 colonies?"
147
00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:43,066
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
148
00:06:43,669 --> 00:06:45,000
(IMITATES FARTING)
149
00:06:53,312 --> 00:06:54,904
The purpose
for this meeting
150
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:59,145
is to take Pam's mind off of
what's going on inside of her body.
151
00:06:59,218 --> 00:07:00,583
Can we do
sleight-of-hand tricks?
152
00:07:00,653 --> 00:07:01,745
I will allow that.
153
00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:04,585
Yes! Can anyone do those?
154
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:06,522
I'm gonna go look
at the Internet.
155
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,952
(PAM GROANS)
(JIM EXCLAIMS)
156
00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:12,190
All right.
That's a good one.
157
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,459
PAM: (GROANS) Okay.
158
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:15,595
Sorry, guys.
Just keep talking.
159
00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:16,726
Okay.
160
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:21,399
Oh, God, Pam.
You are a woman warrior.
161
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:23,032
Oh. Thanks, Kelly.
162
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:27,112
Does anybody have anything?
Anything interesting, any hobbies?
163
00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:28,605
Uh, special skills?
164
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:29,739
Yes, this is the only time
165
00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:31,909
I'm ever going to make
this request. Yeah, Phyl.
166
00:07:31,984 --> 00:07:34,544
Yeah. I can put on lipstick
the way Molly Ringwald does
167
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,451
in The Breakfast Club.
168
00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:38,956
No, no. I don't think
anybody wants to see that.
169
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:41,755
I can do the Evolution
of Dance dance.
170
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:45,088
That sounds good.
Do you need some music or...
171
00:07:45,164 --> 00:07:47,098
No, actually, music
would just throw me off.
172
00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:49,760
Okay. I need complete silence, okay?
173
00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:08,311
You're clapping.
I need complete silence.
174
00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:12,357
Totally threw me off, so
I'm gonna have to start over.
175
00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:14,720
The Evolution
of Dance dance.
176
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:20,788
"You let me in your bed
But now I sleep alone
177
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:24,559
"Trapped with the forgotten
In my detritus home"
178
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:28,271
Affirmed, Seattle Slew,
Secretariat, Citation,
179
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:32,471
Assault, Count Fleet, Whirlaway,
War Admiral, Omaha, Gallant Fox.
180
00:08:33,212 --> 00:08:35,077
And... I know this.
181
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,844
Uh, the jockey was Johnny
Loftus, sired by Star Shoot.
182
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:41,385
(TYPEWRITER CLACKING)
183
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,147
Good afternoon.
184
00:08:44,223 --> 00:08:45,281
Have a seat.
185
00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:49,394
What is this?
186
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:50,759
Before we conceive a child,
187
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:53,731
it is important that we bang
out a parenting contract.
188
00:08:53,799 --> 00:08:55,130
Of course.
189
00:08:57,136 --> 00:09:00,867
It's been a long time since
we've come down here separately.
190
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:01,929
You know, I was thinking...
191
00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:03,134
Now then,
let's get to it, shall we?
192
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:06,076
Ltem one. Child will be
breastfed by the mother
193
00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:07,271
for exactly six months,
194
00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:10,372
then weaned onto a nutrient-rich,
winter vegetable mash
195
00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:11,882
provided by the father,
Dwight Schrute,
196
00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:14,317
hereafter referred
to as Morpheus.
197
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,082
Agreed?
Agreed.
198
00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:17,179
(GROANING)
199
00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:20,316
Where are we? We have every six
minutes, ladies and gentlemen.
200
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:24,420
Another 75 contractions and
you are going to be there.
201
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:27,591
For the love of God, Pam,
do it for ultra feast.
202
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:31,329
Okay, you know what? I'm gonna
go give Dr. Rezvani a quick call.
203
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,462
He'll probably know...
204
00:09:32,538 --> 00:09:33,835
Jim, please,
happy thoughts here.
205
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:35,601
Happy times. Yeah, happy times. Come on.
206
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:36,903
Let's have happy times.
All right.
207
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:38,967
Jim, as a matter of fact,
208
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,678
I've printed out
10 ways to induce labor,
209
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:46,547
and I'm thinking we just do
the opposite of those things
210
00:09:46,619 --> 00:09:48,086
and we can slow down
your labor.
211
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:49,212
Erin, read the first one.
212
00:09:49,288 --> 00:09:50,812
"Stimulate the nipples."
213
00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:52,482
Okay, nobody touch
Pam's nipples.
214
00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:54,992
Think of Pam's nipples
as Toby's grundle.
215
00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:58,428
Her shirt is touching them. Maybe
we should cut holes in her shirt.
216
00:09:58,497 --> 00:09:59,794
I have a shirt
like that in my car.
217
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:02,356
Okay, yeah,
why don't you go get it?
218
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,630
Okay, uh, the second one
is "walk around."
219
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:05,966
We're already doing
the opposite of that.
220
00:10:06,038 --> 00:10:08,734
Perfect. Okay, number three,
eat spicy foods.
221
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:10,275
Okay, the opposite of that.
222
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,038
Stick spicy food
up her butt.
223
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:15,046
Nope. Nope.
Nope. Nope.
224
00:10:15,247 --> 00:10:16,407
Come on. Let's go to the
hospital. PAM: Jim. Jim.
225
00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:18,109
Pam, let's go to the hospital
now. Sweetie, I love you,
226
00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:20,448
but you're really distracting
me from my distractions. Mmm-hmm.
227
00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:21,918
Okay, great.
Well, sorry.
228
00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:23,148
Why don't you go
do some work?
229
00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:24,382
Great. I will do that.
230
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,755
Sorry, Pam, I just feel a
little bit frazzled, and you know
231
00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:28,953
how very rarely I use that word. I know.
232
00:10:29,028 --> 00:10:30,222
JIM: "Frazzled." You
don't like to be frazzled.
233
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,695
No, I don't.
PAM: Okay.
234
00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:36,667
Oh. And by the way, hate that you're
helping her with this right now. Totally.
235
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:37,828
(EXCLAIMS)
236
00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:39,131
Someone's freaking.
237
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:40,399
Getting a little frazzled.
238
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,599
(ALL LAUGHING)
Yeah, he is.
239
00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:43,608
JIM: I know Pam better than
anyone in this office,
240
00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:45,541
and obviously
she's gone crazy,
241
00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:47,203
but everybody wants
to say that I'm crazy.
242
00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:51,045
But I'm not crazy. She's crazy.
I'm not crazy. She's crazy.
243
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,281
"Five to seven minutes."
244
00:10:53,452 --> 00:10:55,079
"Five to seven minutes."
245
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,714
"Six minutes."
Different, but not really.
246
00:10:57,890 --> 00:10:59,881
"Five to seven minutes."
247
00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:00,983
(SIGHS)
248
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,920
Acceptable names include,
and are limited to,
249
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:05,623
Ebenezer.
Jebediah.
250
00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:07,495
Honus.
Jedediah.
251
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:08,892
Worf.
252
00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:10,395
No Star Trek names.
253
00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:11,766
Okay. Fine.
254
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:12,895
What if it's a girl?
255
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:14,496
Irrelevant question.
256
00:11:14,573 --> 00:11:17,007
Section 5A.
"Child shall be male."
257
00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:19,203
Hey. Uh-uh.
I cannot control that.
258
00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:20,905
You can't put that
in here. Yes, you can.
259
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:22,572
No. It's as simple as keeping the womb
260
00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:24,980
extremely warm for
two days after sex,
261
00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:27,349
and then extremely
cold for five months.
262
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:28,819
Absolutely not.
263
00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:33,489
Hey.
Hey.
264
00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:34,719
Oh.
265
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:37,757
I'm not gonna
get in the car,
266
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,991
'cause I know if I do, you'll
try to drive me to the hospital.
267
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,260
Ah!
268
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:43,130
You know me too well.
269
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:45,697
(CHUCKLES) Okay, Jim.
Yeah.
270
00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:47,032
Everything is fine.
271
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:48,164
Totally.
You don't have to worry.
272
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:52,301
Try not to think about it. She's
not coming out for a while, okay?
273
00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:54,673
Did you say "she"?
274
00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:58,639
I called the doctor, like,
a week ago. I couldn't wait.
275
00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:02,720
Oh, God, don't be mad.
276
00:12:02,788 --> 00:12:03,846
Mad?
277
00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:09,921
How could I be mad?
We're having a little girl.
278
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:12,188
Mmm-hmm.
279
00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:14,459
Wow. We're having
a little girl.
280
00:12:14,533 --> 00:12:15,659
(LAUGHS)
281
00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:17,026
(EXCLAIMS)
282
00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:18,570
Man!
I know.
283
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:21,066
Whoo! All right.
284
00:12:22,274 --> 00:12:24,037
Well, I definitely feel better. Good.
285
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:26,010
Yeah. All right.
Okay.
286
00:12:29,014 --> 00:12:30,504
Hey, did you change?
287
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,414
Oh, yeah.
My water broke.
288
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,109
Oh.
(PAM CHUCKLES)
289
00:12:34,453 --> 00:12:35,647
Oh.
290
00:12:37,723 --> 00:12:39,816
Oh! Whoa!
291
00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:43,521
Pam? Pam!
Okay. All right.
292
00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:47,093
Okay, it's time. Time to go to the
hospital. Somebody get Jim, please.
293
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:49,031
Is it midnight yet?
No, it's 4:35.
294
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:52,036
4:35. All right. Almost
made it. Almost made it.
295
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:55,164
Too bad you didn't have sex,
like, seven-and-a-half hours later.
296
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,209
But you had to have the
afternoon delight. I understand.
297
00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:58,436
Sometimes you
have to go for it.
298
00:12:58,511 --> 00:12:59,978
Let's go to the hospital,
shall we?
299
00:13:00,045 --> 00:13:01,637
No. Not yet, Michael.
300
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:02,738
MICHAEL: We can do it.
301
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,407
Oh, wow! It's almost
time for ultra feast.
302
00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:06,314
Where's Kevin?
What?
303
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:09,711
You want to eat cat food with
Kevin and not go to the hospital?
304
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,724
That's Fancy Feast. Ultra
feast is something they made up
305
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,317
so they can pig out together
in the name of ceremony.
306
00:13:15,394 --> 00:13:16,622
What is October Feast?
307
00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:21,632
There is no rush to get to the
hospital. I'm fine. I'll get there.
308
00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:26,104
And if I don't get there,
I don't get there.
309
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:31,338
Our ultra feast
menu's theme,
310
00:13:32,444 --> 00:13:33,775
Hollywood.
311
00:13:34,113 --> 00:13:36,673
We have ratatouille
from Ratatouille,
312
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:39,684
and tandoori chicken
from Born Into Brothels.
313
00:13:40,252 --> 00:13:44,348
I tried to bake a cake like that
District 9 prawn thing, but I...
314
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:46,958
Are you okay?
315
00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:48,288
Mmm.
316
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,555
Yes. I'm fine.
317
00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:51,721
Are you sure?
318
00:13:51,797 --> 00:13:55,028
Yeah, the doctor said that it's
still considered a minor contraction
319
00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:56,727
as long as I can talk
through it. (GROANING)
320
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:58,394
Okay. Okay. Jim?
321
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,499
I think this feast is
over... JIM: All right.
322
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,097
...and it's time to go to
the hospital. Time to go.
323
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,232
No.
That's right.
324
00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:04,333
Let's do this.
Let's give it a shot.
325
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,468
No, it's better.
JIM: Here we go.
326
00:14:05,544 --> 00:14:07,444
That wasn't even the worst of
them. I'm fine. JIM: Hey, come on.
327
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,037
They're not that bad still.
Let's go to the hospital.
328
00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:10,172
Pam. No, it's passing, it's fine.
329
00:14:10,249 --> 00:14:11,944
Pam, it's time. Let's go to
the hospital. Let's go, Pam.
330
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:13,541
It's okay. Michael
says we should go now.
331
00:14:13,619 --> 00:14:15,018
Yeah, I think we should
head out. PAM: It's fine.
332
00:14:15,087 --> 00:14:16,782
Pam. You know what?
It passed. It's good.
333
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,346
Absolutely fine. Come
on. Let's go. We gotta go.
334
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:19,891
Babe, I'm not going.
We need to go.
335
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:21,483
It's fine. Hey, come on.
We really gotta go.
336
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,790
No. I'm not going!
I am not going, okay?
337
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:24,887
All right.
338
00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:28,456
I'm not going today because I can't
do it! I don't think I can do it!
339
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,900
Hey. Hey. Hey.
340
00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:32,659
Are you kidding me?
341
00:14:32,738 --> 00:14:34,262
Are you kidding?
342
00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:36,435
If anyone can do this,
you can do this.
343
00:14:36,508 --> 00:14:37,532
You can do this.
344
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:38,599
You can do this.
345
00:14:38,677 --> 00:14:40,042
Pam, I'm scared.
346
00:14:40,112 --> 00:14:41,579
I'm real scared.
I'm scared, too.
347
00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:42,807
I'm petrified.
348
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,247
But the best news is,
349
00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:45,942
we're gonna
have a baby today.
350
00:14:46,018 --> 00:14:47,042
Yeah.
351
00:14:47,119 --> 00:14:48,450
A really
awesome baby.
352
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,078
We're gonna have a baby.
353
00:14:50,155 --> 00:14:51,486
So let's have it
at the hospital.
354
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,149
Let's do that.
355
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:55,216
How are we doing on
contractions? Two minutes apart.
356
00:14:55,294 --> 00:14:57,285
Two minutes.
Oh, God.
357
00:14:58,364 --> 00:14:59,422
Oh, no.
I thought I told you...
358
00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:01,329
MICHAEL: It's okay. No, I told
you to warn me at five minutes.
359
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,027
PAM: Jim, we waited too long. I know.
360
00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:05,263
We waited too long. Two
minutes doesn't do us any good.
361
00:15:05,337 --> 00:15:07,328
What happened to four and
three? MICHAEL: We're okay, Jim.
362
00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:10,204
Okay, Pamela, you know
what time it is?
363
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:11,570
I don't want to
have my baby here.
364
00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:12,975
You know...
You're not going to.
365
00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:14,706
You know where you're
going? The hospital.
366
00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:16,645
Yes you are, and you know
what you're gonna have?
367
00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:17,739
A baby.
Yes.
368
00:15:17,816 --> 00:15:19,613
We're going to the hospital
and we're gonna have a baby.
369
00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:21,676
I got it! I got it!
Everybody, it's go time!
370
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,722
Action station!
Stanley, man the phones!
371
00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:25,518
Meredith, please
grab a bottle of water.
372
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:26,683
Erin, call an ambulance,
please!
373
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:27,783
DWIGHT: No, no, no.
374
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:29,293
Ambulances are
emergencies only.
375
00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:31,158
You call the ambulance,
I call the cops.
376
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:32,857
All right, we're driving ourselves,
actually. MICHAEL: No, Jim.
377
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,263
You are in no
condition to drive.
378
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:36,164
I will drive you.
Check. Got it.
379
00:15:36,235 --> 00:15:37,827
All right, I have my
wallet. MICHAEL: Yes.
380
00:15:37,903 --> 00:15:39,165
Go bag's in the car.
Go bag? Where's my go bag?
381
00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:40,364
JIM: Keys. I need my keys!
Where's my go bag?
382
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,497
There's nothing in it.
383
00:15:41,573 --> 00:15:44,804
You are telling me now that there
is nothing in it! Okay, great.
384
00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:47,004
Should I bring a
dictionary to the hospital?
385
00:15:47,079 --> 00:15:48,774
The hospital will
provide dictionaries.
386
00:15:48,847 --> 00:15:49,836
Bring the thesaurus.
387
00:15:49,915 --> 00:15:51,405
Did anyone check
how dilated she is?
388
00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:53,246
This is ridiculous.
Dwight, get away.
389
00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:55,184
No, no, no, Dwight, let
Jim do that, please. Okay?
390
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:56,653
I didn't know we had
a tape measure.
391
00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:57,780
"We" don't.
392
00:15:57,856 --> 00:16:00,757
Okay, I can't find my keys!
I cannot find my keys!
393
00:16:00,826 --> 00:16:02,259
Found them. They're here.
Here we go. Here we go.
394
00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:03,818
MICHAEL: Here we go!
PHYLLIS: Good luck!
395
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:05,090
ANDY: Good luck, Pam.
KEVIN: Bye, Pam.
396
00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:07,064
Thank you! Wish me luck!
397
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:08,565
(CLAPPING)
CREED: Have fun!
398
00:16:10,869 --> 00:16:12,734
(SIGHING)
Hey, it's 5:00.
399
00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:15,963
Here we go.
Here we go. On our way.
400
00:16:17,009 --> 00:16:18,033
STANLEY: Hold it.
401
00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:20,237
MICHAEL: Come on,
Stanley. Okay.
402
00:16:20,612 --> 00:16:22,170
We're going now.
No. One more.
403
00:16:22,247 --> 00:16:25,216
Can I... No, no, no,
no! Out, out, out! Idiot!
404
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:26,579
Dwight, what is
the traffic like?
405
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:27,914
Doesn't matter.
I'll escort you!
406
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,579
MICHAEL: All right.
407
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:30,952
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(MICHAEL EXCLAIMS)
408
00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:33,491
Let's go!
MICHAEL: Easy, Dwight.
409
00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:39,856
Michael!
What?
410
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,456
Michael!
What?
411
00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:43,634
This is where I saw
that deer last week.
412
00:16:43,702 --> 00:16:45,863
Where?
Right over by that fence.
413
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:47,337
By the bushes?
Okay, Michael, focus!
414
00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:48,998
Okay, go, go, go!
Guys, come on!
415
00:16:49,074 --> 00:16:50,336
DWIGHT: Let's go!
416
00:16:52,644 --> 00:16:54,612
DWIGHT: I love
escorting people.
417
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:59,377
In fact, a few years back, I put an ad
in the paper starting an escort service.
418
00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:04,684
Got a lot of responses. Mostly
creeps. Made a few friends.
419
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:06,952
All right, here we go.
You're doing great.
420
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,220
Okay, just breathe.
421
00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:09,385
(PAM GROANING)
She'll be here soon.
422
00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:10,485
She? You found out?
423
00:17:10,562 --> 00:17:13,292
Come on, guys.
I wanted to be surprised.
424
00:17:13,565 --> 00:17:14,896
Michael!
Yeah?
425
00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:16,696
Stop texting. Put your
phone away! Michael, come on!
426
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:18,031
I'm texting
about you, okay?
427
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:19,400
PAM: Come on!
428
00:17:19,471 --> 00:17:20,802
(DWIGHT GROANS)
429
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,571
All right.
430
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:26,976
Let's move!
(CAR HORN HONKING)
431
00:17:28,013 --> 00:17:29,071
(POLICE SIREN SOUNDING)
432
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:30,706
What? POLICE OFFICER: Pull over.
433
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:32,114
You're kidding me!
434
00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:33,276
Pull over.
435
00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:41,053
You're not allowed to
impersonate a police officer.
436
00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:43,560
Don't make this
difficult, Dwight.
437
00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:50,227
Wait! Wait, my iPod's not in here. Okay.
438
00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:51,360
It has the
birth song on it.
439
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:53,371
Okay, I know, but my
iPod is in the go bag.
440
00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:54,804
We'll be fine. Jim, I
don't want the first thing
441
00:17:54,873 --> 00:17:56,500
the baby hears to be
the 8 Mile soundtrack.
442
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:58,042
Okay, so what do you
want to do? I don't know.
443
00:17:58,110 --> 00:17:59,270
Let's go by
the house and get it.
444
00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:01,073
It's only 20 minutes
past the hospital.
445
00:18:01,146 --> 00:18:03,080
Pam, no. Are you nuts? We're
going to the hospital now.
446
00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:05,275
Guys, guys,
stop fighting. Come on.
447
00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:08,410
Come on. Do you want your
kid to come out a lawyer?
448
00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:09,647
(CHUCKLES) Right?
449
00:18:10,522 --> 00:18:14,856
Okay, you know what? I am all
over this. Here we go. Ready?
450
00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:16,653
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
451
00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:18,522
Dwight Schrute.
452
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:19,689
Hello, Dwight.
453
00:18:19,998 --> 00:18:22,296
Pam left her iPod at her
house. I want you to swing by,
454
00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:25,268
pick it up and bring it to the
hospital. We need it yesterday.
455
00:18:25,337 --> 00:18:27,202
Then why didn't you ask me
to do it yesterday?
456
00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:29,240
I kept IM-ing you
how bored I was.
457
00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:30,798
Okay.
Dwight!
458
00:18:31,643 --> 00:18:34,874
Go to my house, get my iPod. I
think it's on the kitchen table.
459
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,812
Do not touch
anything else.
460
00:18:36,882 --> 00:18:38,679
The key is under...
I don't need a key.
461
00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:41,412
Okay, Dwight, but if you do need a
key, just listen, it's under the...
462
00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:42,977
No, don't. Don't.
Don't tell me.
463
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:44,613
(JABBERING)
464
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:46,423
Dwight, just listen.
It's underneath...
465
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:51,693
Okay.
You all right?
466
00:18:51,897 --> 00:18:53,592
Yeah.
467
00:18:53,665 --> 00:18:54,791
Do you have everything, guys?
468
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,264
Michael, just
go park the car.
469
00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:58,633
Okay. All right.
470
00:19:07,779 --> 00:19:09,713
Sir! Dunder Mifflin. It's okay.
471
00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:11,544
You can't park here.
472
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:13,176
(MICHAEL GRUNTS)
473
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,518
I just did.
474
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:25,925
Pam's doing great. Uh,
she's 10 inches dilated now.
475
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,193
Sorry, meters...
Centimeters.
476
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:32,395
And she's also fully effaced,
which I don't know what that is.
477
00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:36,032
But no baby yet. It's only
been six... Nineteen hours.
478
00:19:36,642 --> 00:19:38,109
And I was sent out
for some ice chips
479
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,701
because I might have
passed out a little bit,
480
00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:41,245
but these are very
refreshing, very...
481
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:43,611
Daddy?
She's ready to push.
482
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:44,774
Okay!
483
00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:54,119
Where's my little niblet?
Halpert, room D1. All right.
484
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:57,358
Family only beyond
this point. Thank you.
485
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,229
Here we go.
486
00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:01,823
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
487
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:04,026
(PAM SCREAMING)
488
00:20:04,102 --> 00:20:05,194
JIM: Doing great.
Push again!
489
00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:06,328
DOCTOR: Not yet.
490
00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:07,736
JIM: No, don't push.
Pull! Pull!
491
00:20:07,806 --> 00:20:08,830
JOSIE: Why don't you get
some more ice chips?
492
00:20:08,907 --> 00:20:09,965
PAM: No, Jim, stay!
493
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,270
JIM: Okay.
Really push this time, Pam.
494
00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:12,435
PAM: Okay.
495
00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:15,878
(PAM SCREAMING)
496
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:22,518
(EXCLAIMS)
497
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,053
Nope. Not yet.
Not yet. Not yet.
498
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:27,620
Gotta go wash my eyes.
499
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:31,419
That kid's gonna
have a lot of hair.
500
00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:35,392
Have you guys seen her?
She hasn't popped yet.
501
00:20:35,467 --> 00:20:39,904
What? Damn it! She was
supposed to come out yesterday.
502
00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:42,573
I decided to
give Baby Halpert
503
00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:44,973
the newspaper from
the day she was born.
504
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:48,169
This frame set
me back 55 bones.
505
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,078
But she decided to
take her sweet time,
506
00:20:50,148 --> 00:20:52,343
so now I have to switch it
with today's paper.
507
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:56,887
This is ridiculous.
We just can't wait here.
508
00:20:56,955 --> 00:20:58,616
I think it's gonna
be any minute now.
509
00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:01,215
But you don't know that. We could
be here another half an hour.
510
00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:03,261
Phyllis, what could
you possibly have to do?
511
00:21:03,328 --> 00:21:05,319
I have an ice cream
cake in the car.
512
00:21:05,397 --> 00:21:09,595
Oh, my God! Go! Go! Go!
Are you insane? All right.
513
00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,566
Guys? Hello?
514
00:21:12,638 --> 00:21:14,367
DOCTOR: You're doing
great. Just relax. Um...
515
00:21:15,374 --> 00:21:19,902
Sorry to be a bother, but if we could
have an ETA when this is gonna...
516
00:21:19,978 --> 00:21:21,172
(PAM SCREAMING)
517
00:21:21,246 --> 00:21:23,339
You're kind of
losing them.
518
00:21:25,384 --> 00:21:26,646
PAM: God!
519
00:21:26,718 --> 00:21:28,743
JIM: Oh, my God.
Look at her.
520
00:21:29,821 --> 00:21:32,016
The baby,
she's so beautiful.
521
00:21:32,324 --> 00:21:34,292
Oh, my God.
PAM: Oh, my God.
522
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:35,883
(BABY CRYING)
523
00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:41,125
(MOCKINGLY) Yeah, that's
right. It's a baby, see?
524
00:21:41,199 --> 00:21:42,223
ORDERLY: Sir.
525
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,166
Sir, you can't smoke that in here. Okay.
526
00:21:44,236 --> 00:21:46,136
Put it out.
All right.
527
00:21:46,672 --> 00:21:49,004
Can't smoke
anywhere these days.
528
00:21:50,609 --> 00:21:52,236
She's incredible.
529
00:21:53,712 --> 00:21:55,373
You want to count her
fingers and toes again?
530
00:21:55,447 --> 00:21:58,109
No, let's let her rest. I'm
sure there are still 12 of each.
531
00:21:58,183 --> 00:21:59,275
Okay.
532
00:22:00,252 --> 00:22:01,583
MICHAEL: Guys, guys!
533
00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:03,621
Her name is
Cecelia Marie Halpert.
534
00:22:03,689 --> 00:22:04,713
Eleven pounds,
four...
535
00:22:04,790 --> 00:22:07,691
She's seven pounds, two
ounces, 18 inches. Seven pounds.
536
00:22:07,759 --> 00:22:08,953
Mother and daughter
are doing great.
537
00:22:09,027 --> 00:22:10,688
(ALL CHEERING)
538
00:22:15,534 --> 00:22:17,297
Congratulations.
That's great. (EXCLAIMS)
539
00:22:17,369 --> 00:22:18,393
HELENE: There.
540
00:22:18,470 --> 00:22:19,494
Hey, Grandma's back.
541
00:22:20,072 --> 00:22:22,472
Well, it was an adventure and a
half trying to find the cafeteria,
542
00:22:22,541 --> 00:22:24,873
but I have returned
with the coffee. Great.
543
00:22:24,943 --> 00:22:26,808
Thank God. I haven't had
caffeine in nine months.
544
00:22:26,878 --> 00:22:28,641
HELENE: May I?
PAM: Yes.
545
00:22:28,714 --> 00:22:29,840
(CECELIA COOING)
546
00:22:29,915 --> 00:22:31,439
Somebody has
a full diaper.
547
00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:32,813
Oh. Let me get it.
548
00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:36,054
JIM: I am a diapering master.
549
00:22:36,455 --> 00:22:38,184
I have done little else
in the past two months.
550
00:22:38,256 --> 00:22:40,656
There is nothing
I cannot diaper.
551
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:43,324
Go ahead. Try to think
of something. I dare you.
552
00:22:43,395 --> 00:22:44,419
(MEOWING)
553
00:22:45,764 --> 00:22:49,393
MICHAEL: (MOCKINGLY) Where's
the baby? I want to see the baby.
554
00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:51,162
Oh! Oh.
555
00:22:51,837 --> 00:22:53,304
Helene, hi.
556
00:22:54,606 --> 00:22:57,632
Oh, my goodness. What
are the odds of this?
557
00:22:58,710 --> 00:23:01,008
Congratulations
on being a grandma.
558
00:23:01,079 --> 00:23:02,410
Hello, Michael.
Hello.
559
00:23:03,248 --> 00:23:04,476
Oh. How are you?
560
00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:05,675
I worry about you.
561
00:23:05,751 --> 00:23:08,219
You know, I think
it's time for me to go.
562
00:23:08,286 --> 00:23:09,810
Oh. Okay.
563
00:23:11,356 --> 00:23:12,345
Love you.
564
00:23:12,424 --> 00:23:13,686
Love you as a friend.
565
00:23:14,326 --> 00:23:15,816
Love you, Mom.
566
00:23:16,428 --> 00:23:17,588
(GASPS)
567
00:23:17,662 --> 00:23:19,254
MICHAEL: Oh!
568
00:23:19,331 --> 00:23:21,231
(MOCKINGLY)
I want to hold the baby.
569
00:23:21,299 --> 00:23:23,927
Okay, you just have to use
the hand sanitizer first.
570
00:23:24,002 --> 00:23:25,435
Oh, right.
571
00:23:28,507 --> 00:23:30,270
PAM: Again. No pants.
572
00:23:30,342 --> 00:23:31,741
Oh. Okay.
573
00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:33,271
Ready?
Mmm-hmm.
574
00:23:41,019 --> 00:23:42,748
Oh, wow. (CHUCKLES)
575
00:23:44,756 --> 00:23:46,690
Michael. Michael.
576
00:23:46,958 --> 00:23:50,689
That's so weird. She was saying
it just before you got here.
577
00:23:54,466 --> 00:23:58,334
DWIGHT: Yesterday I was dispatched to
Jim and Pam's house to find Pam's iPod.
578
00:23:58,403 --> 00:24:01,338
I searched everywhere,
but I didn't find it.
579
00:24:01,907 --> 00:24:06,310
What I did find was mold,
and lots of it.
580
00:24:07,212 --> 00:24:09,510
So, I did what
anyone would do.
581
00:24:09,815 --> 00:24:12,807
I read a book, had a bath,
I got a good night's sleep,
582
00:24:12,884 --> 00:24:15,284
and I made plans
to eradicate it.
583
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:20,516
I also made plans to ask Jim where
he bought his marvelous sheets.
584
00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:24,057
Time to get to work.
585
00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:32,467
There she sat.
Her name was Pam.
586
00:24:32,737 --> 00:24:36,104
She was a receptionist. She
was engaged to an animal.
587
00:24:37,242 --> 00:24:40,973
There sat Jim. He was
a gawky, tall salesman.
588
00:24:41,947 --> 00:24:45,849
The odds of them getting
together were insurmountainable.
589
00:24:46,885 --> 00:24:49,911
I made a family. I got these
two together and I made a family.
590
00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:51,888
This man has a gift.
591
00:24:52,390 --> 00:24:54,153
Who else here is single?
592
00:24:54,226 --> 00:24:55,921
I'm not single.
I have a man.
593
00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:58,489
I am offering up my
services to you all.
594
00:24:58,563 --> 00:25:01,031
You saw what I did with Pam
and Jim. I can help you, too.
595
00:25:01,099 --> 00:25:02,726
Why don't you find
someone for yourself
596
00:25:02,801 --> 00:25:04,325
instead of meddling
in our affairs?
597
00:25:04,402 --> 00:25:06,700
Okay, show of hands. Who
wants to live in a world
598
00:25:06,771 --> 00:25:10,070
where Stanley has two lovers
and you don't have any?
599
00:25:10,976 --> 00:25:13,774
Who else? Come on.
People, I know models.
600
00:25:14,112 --> 00:25:16,307
(CHUCKLES) Plus-size
models, maybe.
601
00:25:16,381 --> 00:25:17,405
(LAUGHS)
602
00:25:17,482 --> 00:25:20,610
You got that right. Meredith?
Come on. You're obviously single.
603
00:25:20,685 --> 00:25:23,415
You know it. I am never getting married.
604
00:25:23,755 --> 00:25:25,222
Like Clooney.
605
00:25:25,323 --> 00:25:26,620
Andrew? What about you?
606
00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:28,886
Torn scrotum.
Still on the mend, so...
607
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,325
(EXCLAIMS)
Not good timing.
608
00:25:30,395 --> 00:25:34,593
Yes, I'm gonna ask out Erin. I'm
just waiting for the stars to align.
609
00:25:34,666 --> 00:25:35,690
Literally.
610
00:25:35,767 --> 00:25:37,462
I have a small
skylight in my bedroom,
611
00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:39,595
and I'd like for
the moon to be visible.
612
00:25:39,671 --> 00:25:41,798
Well, when you least
expect it, expect it.
613
00:25:41,873 --> 00:25:46,503
I am going to fill the empty
voids in your life with love.
614
00:25:47,045 --> 00:25:50,412
I am going to fill
that empty hole
615
00:25:50,482 --> 00:25:52,507
in your body
with another person.
616
00:25:53,385 --> 00:25:55,751
And like Cupid, I am going
to shoot you with love.
617
00:25:55,820 --> 00:25:57,082
(IMITATES GUN FIRING)
(EXCLAIMS)
618
00:25:58,256 --> 00:25:59,382
(SCREAMS)
619
00:26:01,793 --> 00:26:02,987
(IMITATES EXPLOSION)
620
00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:09,758
(COOING)
621
00:26:09,834 --> 00:26:13,565
Remember yesterday, when we
were terrified of being parents?
622
00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:16,396
We were just kids.
What did we know?
623
00:26:16,474 --> 00:26:18,135
Hey, how we doing?
624
00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:19,471
Good.
Great.
625
00:26:19,544 --> 00:26:21,876
Would you like me to take her
to the nursery for the night?
626
00:26:21,947 --> 00:26:23,881
Doesn't she sleep here?
She can.
627
00:26:23,949 --> 00:26:25,473
But a lot of parents
choose to have the baby
628
00:26:25,550 --> 00:26:26,847
spend the first
night in the nursery
629
00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:29,853
to get some rest.
You've been through a lot.
630
00:26:30,055 --> 00:26:31,613
I think
we'll be okay.
631
00:26:31,690 --> 00:26:32,816
Okay, great.
632
00:26:34,693 --> 00:26:35,921
(YAWNING)
(PAM EXCLAIMS)
633
00:26:35,994 --> 00:26:37,222
Big yawn.
634
00:26:37,529 --> 00:26:38,757
(CRYING)
Ready, one, two, three.
635
00:26:38,830 --> 00:26:40,661
PAM: One, and
then wrap around.
636
00:26:40,765 --> 00:26:41,754
It's okay.
637
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:43,331
I don't understand.
Hold that arm down.
638
00:26:43,401 --> 00:26:46,131
I can't. She's too strong.
Careful, though.
639
00:26:46,204 --> 00:26:47,330
You don't want
to break it.
640
00:26:47,405 --> 00:26:49,566
She's not
going to... Just...
641
00:26:49,641 --> 00:26:51,575
I got it. All right.
PAM: Go. Go.
642
00:26:51,643 --> 00:26:53,008
I'm done.
Nurse?
643
00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:54,540
How you doing?
644
00:26:54,613 --> 00:26:55,671
I don't know.
645
00:26:56,514 --> 00:26:58,914
I just... I can't tell
if she's getting anything.
646
00:26:58,984 --> 00:27:00,008
Really?
647
00:27:00,085 --> 00:27:01,279
It doesn't feel right.
648
00:27:01,987 --> 00:27:04,547
Well, you're pushing
the milk out, right?
649
00:27:04,623 --> 00:27:06,056
How would one do that?
650
00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:10,159
Well, isn't it kind
of like... Like that?
651
00:27:10,228 --> 00:27:11,957
Do you want to try it, Jim? Mmm-mmm.
652
00:27:12,030 --> 00:27:14,396
I think you're good.
Doing a good job.
653
00:27:15,033 --> 00:27:17,194
(CECELIA CRYING)
654
00:27:18,737 --> 00:27:19,761
Somebody buzzed?
655
00:27:19,838 --> 00:27:22,033
Oh, really?
Must have sat on it, Pam.
656
00:27:22,207 --> 00:27:23,674
I can't tell if
she's getting anything.
657
00:27:23,742 --> 00:27:25,573
It just doesn't
really feel right.
658
00:27:25,644 --> 00:27:27,578
Well, maybe we should take
a break for a little while.
659
00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:28,670
I can take her
to the nursery
660
00:27:28,747 --> 00:27:30,374
and then bring her back and
try again a little bit later.
661
00:27:30,448 --> 00:27:32,313
Even if she's not
getting anything?
662
00:27:32,384 --> 00:27:33,442
Yeah, she'll be fine.
663
00:27:33,518 --> 00:27:35,577
I can always give her a bottle
once we're in the nursery.
664
00:27:35,654 --> 00:27:38,282
No. I read in the book
about nipple confusion.
665
00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:40,119
Oh, good.
You know everything.
666
00:27:40,191 --> 00:27:43,024
I mean, she's just really
tentative about latching,
667
00:27:43,094 --> 00:27:45,324
and I just want to
keep her self-esteem up.
668
00:27:45,397 --> 00:27:48,025
I'll bring her back in a little
while and we can try again, okay?
669
00:27:48,099 --> 00:27:49,964
All right.
All right.
670
00:27:53,505 --> 00:27:54,631
It's gonna be all right.
671
00:27:54,706 --> 00:27:55,934
Yeah, maybe it'll
be good 'cause then
672
00:27:56,007 --> 00:27:57,702
she can, like, socialize
with the other babies.
673
00:27:57,776 --> 00:27:59,004
(LAUGHING)
674
00:27:59,978 --> 00:28:02,173
No, yeah,
that would be good.
675
00:28:03,114 --> 00:28:04,172
You wanted to see me?
676
00:28:04,249 --> 00:28:05,546
What would you say
677
00:28:05,617 --> 00:28:08,814
if I told you that I was
about to change your life?
678
00:28:08,887 --> 00:28:10,115
Oh, boy!
679
00:28:10,188 --> 00:28:11,314
(KEVIN MUMBLING)
680
00:28:11,823 --> 00:28:13,484
What's that sound?
681
00:28:14,626 --> 00:28:15,854
Ta-da!
682
00:28:15,927 --> 00:28:17,895
I would like you to meet
your new boyfriend.
683
00:28:17,962 --> 00:28:19,020
Yes.
684
00:28:19,964 --> 00:28:21,022
I don't know
what to say.
685
00:28:21,099 --> 00:28:24,091
Say nothing. You will learn to love me.
686
00:28:24,302 --> 00:28:25,792
Okay, hold on.
687
00:28:25,870 --> 00:28:27,201
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
688
00:28:27,272 --> 00:28:29,001
You got to let
the cookies cool
689
00:28:29,074 --> 00:28:31,440
before you pop them in your mouth. Okay.
690
00:28:31,509 --> 00:28:35,001
Why don't you guys get to know each
other, maybe have lunch together?
691
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:37,446
Erin, would you
have lunch with me?
692
00:28:37,515 --> 00:28:38,573
Okay.
693
00:28:38,650 --> 00:28:40,015
MICHAEL: Good.
Yes!
694
00:28:40,719 --> 00:28:42,277
Michael, can I talk
to you privately?
695
00:28:42,353 --> 00:28:44,548
Sure. Kevin, please leave.
696
00:28:44,622 --> 00:28:46,419
Bye.
MICHAEL: Bye.
697
00:28:50,061 --> 00:28:51,892
I'm so sorry if I
gave you the impression
698
00:28:51,963 --> 00:28:54,659
that I'm into Kevin,
but I'm not. I like Andy.
699
00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:57,065
(SIGHS) Okay.
This is going to kill Kevin.
700
00:28:57,135 --> 00:28:58,227
I'm sure he'll be fine.
701
00:28:58,303 --> 00:28:59,930
I'm not so sure.
702
00:29:00,138 --> 00:29:02,265
Kevin has an
enormous heart.
703
00:29:02,707 --> 00:29:04,436
Literally, he has
an elephant heart.
704
00:29:04,509 --> 00:29:07,103
He had a transplant
when he was 17.
705
00:29:07,812 --> 00:29:10,144
Had some problems... (JABBERING) Really?
706
00:29:10,348 --> 00:29:14,808
No. Kevin doesn't have an elephant
heart, but he is very sensitive,
707
00:29:15,487 --> 00:29:18,149
and it won't kill Erin to just go and
have lunch with him in the break room,
708
00:29:18,223 --> 00:29:19,986
like I promised him.
709
00:29:22,393 --> 00:29:24,918
I bet his heart
is enlarged, though.
710
00:29:24,996 --> 00:29:26,293
I don't want
anyone to die.
711
00:29:26,364 --> 00:29:28,730
Just don't let
him sit on you.
712
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:29,960
(LAUGHING)
713
00:29:30,034 --> 00:29:31,296
I'm kidding.
You'll have fun.
714
00:29:31,369 --> 00:29:34,429
It'll be good. It'll
be good. There he is.
715
00:29:34,539 --> 00:29:35,870
Go to him.
(CHUCKLES)
716
00:29:36,574 --> 00:29:37,802
Hi.
Hi.
717
00:29:40,745 --> 00:29:42,713
Nice. She touched
my shoulder.
718
00:29:45,917 --> 00:29:49,216
Hey, guys. We're short on
rooms, so this is Dale and Kathy.
719
00:29:49,287 --> 00:29:50,413
Oh.
720
00:29:51,389 --> 00:29:52,515
Hi.
Hi.
721
00:29:52,590 --> 00:29:54,387
Sorry.
Hi. So sorry.
722
00:29:54,726 --> 00:29:55,954
Careful.
723
00:30:00,999 --> 00:30:03,627
(SOFTLY) Wow, she just shoves
the nipple right in there.
724
00:30:03,701 --> 00:30:04,895
I know.
725
00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:08,470
Did you see that?
I'm pretty sure she's...
726
00:30:10,642 --> 00:30:11,666
Hey.
727
00:30:13,545 --> 00:30:15,137
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)
728
00:30:20,018 --> 00:30:21,542
Did you grow up
around here?
729
00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:23,579
No.
730
00:30:25,290 --> 00:30:28,555
So, you must have grown up
around somewhere else?
731
00:30:29,727 --> 00:30:30,785
Yes.
732
00:30:36,067 --> 00:30:37,932
Why was I hiding
behind the plant?
733
00:30:38,002 --> 00:30:40,300
Well, in college
I took a botany class,
734
00:30:40,371 --> 00:30:43,363
and there was lots of
drama in that class. Uh...
735
00:30:43,441 --> 00:30:46,968
Kids would gossip about me,
so I would eavesdrop on them
736
00:30:47,345 --> 00:30:50,781
by hiding behind different
plants in the botany class.
737
00:30:51,015 --> 00:30:53,677
And then they
would say things like,
738
00:30:53,751 --> 00:30:55,378
"Oh, this guy's gonna
fail this class,"
739
00:30:55,453 --> 00:30:59,514
or, "What's this guy doing
spying on us from behind plants?"
740
00:30:59,591 --> 00:31:01,183
And then I would
jump out at them
741
00:31:01,259 --> 00:31:03,557
and confront them
and be like,
742
00:31:03,628 --> 00:31:07,894
"You think all I do is hide behind
plants and spy on people? Busted."
743
00:31:08,566 --> 00:31:10,431
Oh. The reason?
744
00:31:10,902 --> 00:31:12,961
The reason I was hiding behind
that plant in this situation
745
00:31:13,037 --> 00:31:17,030
was that I thought that Erin and
Kevin were kind of hitting it off,
746
00:31:17,108 --> 00:31:18,905
and I was jealous.
747
00:31:21,846 --> 00:31:23,473
Uh, hi. Pam Halpert?
748
00:31:23,548 --> 00:31:24,572
Yes.
749
00:31:24,649 --> 00:31:26,514
Hi, I'm Clarke.
750
00:31:26,584 --> 00:31:30,145
Josie said you might benefit
from a lactation consultant.
751
00:31:30,622 --> 00:31:31,646
JIM: Yep.
752
00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:33,054
Um, yeah,
that would be great.
753
00:31:33,124 --> 00:31:35,149
Really great.
When's she available?
754
00:31:35,226 --> 00:31:37,251
Actually, I'm the consultant.
755
00:31:38,096 --> 00:31:39,961
(CHUCKLES) Got milk?
(CHUCKLING)
756
00:31:40,031 --> 00:31:42,226
All right, let's see
what we're working with.
757
00:31:44,869 --> 00:31:45,995
(CLEARS THROAT)
758
00:31:46,938 --> 00:31:50,305
So, the biggest thing besides not
being able to get her to latch...
759
00:31:50,375 --> 00:31:52,036
I'll get that for you.
Oh, thank you.
760
00:31:52,110 --> 00:31:54,943
...is that I can't tell
if I'm really producing.
761
00:31:55,013 --> 00:31:56,708
I don't know if she's
getting anything.
762
00:31:56,781 --> 00:31:58,271
Let me feel here.
Okay.
763
00:31:58,349 --> 00:31:59,714
CLARKE: Yeah,
it's quite full.
764
00:31:59,784 --> 00:32:00,808
Why don't you put your
hand on top of my hand?
765
00:32:00,885 --> 00:32:02,853
PAM: Okay. When you're feeding you want
766
00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:06,322
to press in like this, make
your hand in a C. Does that hurt?
767
00:32:06,391 --> 00:32:08,985
No, it feels pressure.
Okay.
768
00:32:09,060 --> 00:32:11,153
You sure it doesn't hurt? No.
769
00:32:11,229 --> 00:32:12,355
It just feels like pressure.
770
00:32:12,430 --> 00:32:14,330
CLARKE: Feel how I'm flicking
the nipple? PAM: Mmm-hmm.
771
00:32:14,399 --> 00:32:15,798
Like that? It's stimulated. Mmm-hmm.
772
00:32:15,867 --> 00:32:17,027
Yep. Yep.
PAM: Mmm-hmm.
773
00:32:17,635 --> 00:32:19,967
CLARKE: So you just want
to do that and that will...
774
00:32:20,038 --> 00:32:21,130
Perfect.
775
00:32:21,339 --> 00:32:22,465
CLARKE: The baby
should grab onto that.
776
00:32:22,540 --> 00:32:23,598
I think she will.
777
00:32:23,675 --> 00:32:26,508
I'm just not sure if I'm releasing,
though. I'm not sure if...
778
00:32:26,577 --> 00:32:27,976
We'll figure it out,
probably. CLARKE: It doesn't...
779
00:32:28,046 --> 00:32:29,513
Why don't you bring
your baby over here?
780
00:32:29,580 --> 00:32:31,138
Okay.
781
00:32:31,482 --> 00:32:32,506
She's beautiful. Yes.
782
00:32:32,583 --> 00:32:33,914
Oh, thank you.
783
00:32:34,319 --> 00:32:36,014
Congratulations.
Thank you.
784
00:32:36,087 --> 00:32:37,714
Well, you're doing a good
job. Just stay relaxed
785
00:32:37,789 --> 00:32:40,451
and I'll come back in a
bit to check on you. Okay?
786
00:32:40,525 --> 00:32:42,152
Okay.
Please do.
787
00:32:44,395 --> 00:32:47,023
Oh, shoot. Shoot,
she fell off.
788
00:32:47,365 --> 00:32:48,696
Oh. Uh...
789
00:32:48,766 --> 00:32:50,165
Try the torpedo thing.
790
00:32:50,234 --> 00:32:51,758
Will you just grab
Clarke real quick?
791
00:32:51,836 --> 00:32:54,327
No need. I saw him
do it. I can try it.
792
00:32:54,405 --> 00:32:57,772
Jim, please, please, please. I think
it would be weird if you did it.
793
00:32:57,842 --> 00:33:01,005
That makes sense. I'll
just go get the other guy.
794
00:33:03,047 --> 00:33:04,446
DWIGHT ON PHONE:
Hey, what's up, kid?
795
00:33:04,515 --> 00:33:08,611
Have you had a chance to look over the
revisions on the contract I prepared for you?
796
00:33:08,686 --> 00:33:12,520
Nothing left to do except dot
the I's, the J's and the umlauts.
797
00:33:13,124 --> 00:33:16,821
Why don't you meet me here
at exactly mid-late afternoon?
798
00:33:17,895 --> 00:33:19,089
I look forward to it.
799
00:33:19,163 --> 00:33:20,289
Very well.
800
00:33:20,565 --> 00:33:21,793
Goodbye.
801
00:33:24,235 --> 00:33:25,930
(BABY CRYING)
802
00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:29,633
Jim. Jim, get her.
803
00:33:29,707 --> 00:33:30,833
Hmm?
804
00:33:30,908 --> 00:33:33,342
Get the baby.
Get her, come on.
805
00:33:35,079 --> 00:33:38,674
JIM: Okay. (SHUSHING)
I know, I know.
806
00:33:45,323 --> 00:33:46,984
Okay. Come here.
807
00:33:50,094 --> 00:33:51,959
All right.
I got her.
808
00:33:54,032 --> 00:33:55,158
(SIGHING)
809
00:33:55,867 --> 00:34:00,964
Okay. Okay. Okay.
810
00:34:04,375 --> 00:34:07,003
Jim. She latched.
She latched!
811
00:34:07,078 --> 00:34:08,136
That's amazing.
812
00:34:08,212 --> 00:34:10,874
Oh, my God. I didn't even
have to do the C thing.
813
00:34:10,948 --> 00:34:12,279
That's awesome.
814
00:34:12,350 --> 00:34:14,341
Oh! We're doing it.
815
00:34:14,485 --> 00:34:15,611
That's great.
816
00:34:15,686 --> 00:34:17,313
We're really parents now.
817
00:34:18,523 --> 00:34:21,458
Kevin, Erin would like
a few words with you.
818
00:34:21,759 --> 00:34:22,953
Hey.
Hi.
819
00:34:23,027 --> 00:34:24,358
I've really enjoyed
our time together.
820
00:34:24,429 --> 00:34:25,657
Yeah. Me, too.
821
00:34:25,730 --> 00:34:27,129
I want to continue
working on our friendship...
822
00:34:27,198 --> 00:34:28,392
It was really, really fun.
823
00:34:28,466 --> 00:34:30,559
...'cause I think our friendship
could be a really cool thing.
824
00:34:30,635 --> 00:34:31,829
Yeah. Me, too.
825
00:34:31,903 --> 00:34:33,495
And you're my friend.
826
00:34:33,905 --> 00:34:35,770
Yeah. I hope that I'm your friend.
827
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:36,932
Yeah.
And...
828
00:34:37,008 --> 00:34:38,407
Oh, my God.
This is agonizing.
829
00:34:38,476 --> 00:34:43,140
Look, Kevin, do you really think
that you could have dated Erin?
830
00:34:43,481 --> 00:34:45,346
You said she liked me.
831
00:34:45,483 --> 00:34:48,384
Okay, even if someone told
you that, you should know
832
00:34:48,453 --> 00:34:51,251
that that could
never be possible, Kevin.
833
00:34:51,589 --> 00:34:54,456
And I'm surprised that you didn't
question me in the first place.
834
00:34:54,525 --> 00:34:55,822
I've done better
than Erin.
835
00:34:55,893 --> 00:34:56,917
No, you haven't.
836
00:34:56,994 --> 00:34:58,757
Lynn was way hotter
than Erin, Michael.
837
00:34:58,830 --> 00:35:01,298
Lynn was as hot as Erin.
838
00:35:02,533 --> 00:35:05,263
Yeah, Michael, but
you dated Holly and Jan
839
00:35:05,336 --> 00:35:07,236
and they were so
much hotter than you.
840
00:35:07,305 --> 00:35:09,671
This isn't about me,
and that is debatable,
841
00:35:09,740 --> 00:35:12,834
and I have a personality,
whereas you...
842
00:35:12,910 --> 00:35:14,241
Yes, Andy?
843
00:35:15,279 --> 00:35:16,974
(THUD)
(GROANS)
844
00:35:20,852 --> 00:35:21,910
Kev.
845
00:35:23,588 --> 00:35:25,146
Nice going.
846
00:35:28,326 --> 00:35:29,725
Knock-knock.
847
00:35:31,129 --> 00:35:33,029
Oh, hey, Isabel.
848
00:35:33,097 --> 00:35:34,189
Oh, hey.
849
00:35:35,566 --> 00:35:38,364
Pam, she's gorgeous.
Can I hold her?
850
00:35:38,436 --> 00:35:39,494
Yes.
851
00:35:39,737 --> 00:35:41,034
She was a little
fussy earlier,
852
00:35:41,105 --> 00:35:43,130
but she's totally
quieted down.
853
00:35:43,207 --> 00:35:47,075
Here. Let me just burp her. I
don't want her to spit up on you.
854
00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:49,045
ISABEL: Look at you.
Come here, sweetie.
855
00:35:49,614 --> 00:35:50,672
(GASPS)
856
00:35:51,415 --> 00:35:53,076
Oh, my God.
JIM: What?
857
00:35:53,718 --> 00:35:55,310
Wrong baby.
What?
858
00:35:55,386 --> 00:35:57,581
Wrong baby.
This is not our baby!
859
00:35:57,655 --> 00:35:58,747
Oh, my God.
860
00:36:01,659 --> 00:36:03,058
(SHUSHING)
861
00:36:06,297 --> 00:36:07,764
(CECELIA COOING)
862
00:36:16,941 --> 00:36:18,169
Oh.
863
00:36:18,943 --> 00:36:20,467
(CRYING)
864
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:24,111
Has she been
fussing long?
865
00:36:24,182 --> 00:36:26,207
No. Not at all.
Perfect.
866
00:36:26,951 --> 00:36:29,078
I was out like a light. Hey!
867
00:36:33,524 --> 00:36:35,151
She's not hungry.
868
00:36:36,928 --> 00:36:38,395
(BABY CONTINUES CRYING)
869
00:36:44,602 --> 00:36:46,263
How's it going?
Well,
870
00:36:46,337 --> 00:36:48,999
I feel like she needs to eat,
but she just won't latch on,
871
00:36:49,073 --> 00:36:50,563
which is weird,
because the other baby...
872
00:36:50,641 --> 00:36:51,903
(LAUGHING)
873
00:36:52,643 --> 00:36:56,170
Bottles are fine. A lot of
babies grow up using bottles.
874
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:57,679
So, you excited to
take your baby home?
875
00:36:57,748 --> 00:37:00,148
We definitely are.
At 3:00, right?
876
00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:01,310
You said we could
stay until 3:00?
877
00:37:01,385 --> 00:37:02,909
Yeah. You can.
878
00:37:02,987 --> 00:37:04,852
It's 2:35.
Half hour.
879
00:37:04,989 --> 00:37:06,616
Well, 25 minutes.
(CHUCKLING)
880
00:37:07,058 --> 00:37:08,150
And you're all set
with the car seat?
881
00:37:08,226 --> 00:37:10,194
Yes. Car seat's
right there.
882
00:37:10,261 --> 00:37:11,853
That bottom part
needs to go in the car.
883
00:37:11,929 --> 00:37:13,829
Newsflash, the whole thing
needs to go in the car.
884
00:37:13,898 --> 00:37:15,126
(CHUCKLES)
885
00:37:15,833 --> 00:37:17,061
Be back in 25 minutes.
886
00:37:17,134 --> 00:37:19,500
Or it can be a half hour,
if you need it to be.
887
00:37:19,570 --> 00:37:21,663
Can we get
a late checkout?
888
00:37:22,740 --> 00:37:23,832
I don't think
she heard me.
889
00:37:25,543 --> 00:37:26,703
Hello?
890
00:37:28,813 --> 00:37:31,748
Dwight? What...
What are you doing here?
891
00:37:32,950 --> 00:37:34,440
Isabel, hello.
892
00:37:36,187 --> 00:37:39,156
Yeah, the kitchen
was disgusting, so...
893
00:37:39,223 --> 00:37:40,315
Wow.
894
00:37:40,625 --> 00:37:42,115
New cabinets.
Yeah.
895
00:37:42,193 --> 00:37:43,558
All I did was bring
macaroni and cheese.
896
00:37:43,628 --> 00:37:44,754
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
897
00:37:44,829 --> 00:37:46,524
Where's the fridge?
898
00:37:46,597 --> 00:37:49,259
Oh, it's in the backyard.
I'll take this.
899
00:37:49,634 --> 00:37:51,067
(INHALES DEEPLY)
900
00:37:51,369 --> 00:37:52,927
Well, I'll let you
get back to it.
901
00:37:53,004 --> 00:37:55,199
Hey, listen, I know that I'm an adult,
902
00:37:55,273 --> 00:37:58,071
but maybe I could come by
sometime for a teeth cleaning?
903
00:37:58,142 --> 00:38:00,042
You know, just for fun.
904
00:38:00,478 --> 00:38:03,641
Well, adults are supposed
to go to the dentist, too.
905
00:38:03,714 --> 00:38:08,481
Are they, now? (CHUCKLES) How some
people spend their money, right?
906
00:38:09,420 --> 00:38:11,115
Yeah.
All right.
907
00:38:12,256 --> 00:38:13,814
I'll call you, kid.
908
00:38:13,891 --> 00:38:14,983
Do that.
909
00:38:19,063 --> 00:38:20,325
You really sure
we should be leaving?
910
00:38:20,398 --> 00:38:21,456
Yeah.
(CRYING)
911
00:38:21,532 --> 00:38:24,057
But you hear the baby
crying, right? Mmm-hmm.
912
00:38:28,072 --> 00:38:29,164
Where's your car?
913
00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:30,332
It's in the lot.
914
00:38:30,408 --> 00:38:33,036
A lot of fathers
bring the car around.
915
00:38:33,778 --> 00:38:38,681
Right. Okay. Yes. That
would be a smart thing to do.
916
00:38:39,083 --> 00:38:40,414
Uh, Pam,
I will be right back.
917
00:38:40,484 --> 00:38:42,247
Okay, please hurry.
918
00:38:42,787 --> 00:38:46,780
Erin, I need you to send
this fax immediately.
919
00:38:47,291 --> 00:38:48,656
It's really important,
so I'm gonna stand here
920
00:38:48,726 --> 00:38:49,852
and wait for
the confirmation.
921
00:38:49,927 --> 00:38:51,656
Okay. Good.
922
00:38:53,464 --> 00:38:58,834
The fax says, "Erin, will you
have dinner with me? From, Andy."
923
00:38:58,903 --> 00:39:01,633
And the number is
our office fax number.
924
00:39:02,406 --> 00:39:04,203
(FAX MACHINE BEEPING) It's
busy. Why don't I keep trying
925
00:39:04,275 --> 00:39:05,469
and then I'll give you
the confirmation in a bit?
926
00:39:05,543 --> 00:39:06,567
(MUMBLES)
927
00:39:06,644 --> 00:39:08,509
Sorry.
That's unacceptable.
928
00:39:08,579 --> 00:39:12,140
I need you to send it
immediately or you're fired.
929
00:39:14,218 --> 00:39:17,847
You can't talk to me like that.
I didn't do anything wrong.
930
00:39:18,356 --> 00:39:20,449
(SOBBING) I've been
having a tough day.
931
00:39:20,524 --> 00:39:21,684
Oh, God, no.
932
00:39:22,626 --> 00:39:23,820
Um...
933
00:39:24,562 --> 00:39:25,859
Just read the fax.
934
00:39:25,930 --> 00:39:27,158
You read the fax.
935
00:39:29,367 --> 00:39:31,096
I'm asking you out.
936
00:39:33,003 --> 00:39:36,131
(CHUCKLES) Oh, my God.
That's amazing!
937
00:39:39,810 --> 00:39:42,870
Let me just fax this
and I'll check my planner.
938
00:39:43,714 --> 00:39:45,579
So, it's a date?
Yes!
939
00:39:45,916 --> 00:39:47,349
Do you have
a day in mind?
940
00:39:47,418 --> 00:39:48,908
ANDY: Yeah, what day?
What day?
941
00:39:48,986 --> 00:39:50,453
ERIN: Every day is fine.
942
00:39:50,521 --> 00:39:51,749
ANDY: What's that one?
943
00:39:51,922 --> 00:39:53,856
ERIN: Thursday?
Okay. Let's do it.
944
00:39:53,924 --> 00:39:55,323
ERIN: (CHUCKLES)
We... Okay!
945
00:39:55,659 --> 00:39:58,856
Would you like me to help
you up out of the chair?
946
00:39:59,296 --> 00:40:00,763
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
947
00:40:00,831 --> 00:40:02,321
We've just got a lot
of discharges today.
948
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,630
Okay. Okay.
949
00:40:04,702 --> 00:40:05,726
Thanks.
950
00:40:05,803 --> 00:40:06,861
All right, thanks.
951
00:40:06,937 --> 00:40:08,029
All right.
952
00:40:08,139 --> 00:40:09,902
(CECELIA CRYING)
953
00:40:14,178 --> 00:40:19,343
Hey. You want to eat?
You want to try eating?
954
00:40:21,986 --> 00:40:23,078
Okay.
955
00:40:26,023 --> 00:40:27,615
Okay. Come here.
956
00:40:28,526 --> 00:40:32,519
Just you and me.
Just you and me. Come on.
957
00:40:32,596 --> 00:40:33,722
(CRYING STOPS)
958
00:40:33,798 --> 00:40:35,197
There we go.
959
00:40:37,334 --> 00:40:40,531
Yeah. Oh, yeah!
960
00:40:41,906 --> 00:40:45,239
Like that. Oh.
There we go.
961
00:40:46,410 --> 00:40:47,536
You got it.
962
00:40:47,611 --> 00:40:49,340
Five tickets on
the windshield.
963
00:40:52,950 --> 00:40:54,679
Hey.
Hi.
964
00:40:56,253 --> 00:40:57,584
We did it.
965
00:40:59,390 --> 00:41:01,415
You used my move,
didn't you?
966
00:41:01,492 --> 00:41:03,483
I used a variation
of your move.
967
00:41:03,561 --> 00:41:05,051
(LAUGHS)
968
00:41:05,129 --> 00:41:06,926
MICHAEL: There is no
greater feeling
969
00:41:08,065 --> 00:41:10,192
than when two people who
are perfect for each other
970
00:41:10,267 --> 00:41:13,168
overcome all obstacles
and find true love.
971
00:41:13,938 --> 00:41:18,272
And that's what I thought that Erin
and Kevin were going to find today.
972
00:41:22,313 --> 00:41:24,508
I think I'm going
to be sick.
973
00:41:30,554 --> 00:41:32,522
Two forms of ID, please.
974
00:41:32,957 --> 00:41:34,151
(CLEARS THROAT)
975
00:41:35,860 --> 00:41:38,454
And now you.
Two forms of ID, please.
976
00:41:43,801 --> 00:41:47,362
All right, all is in order.
I just need your signature.
977
00:41:51,308 --> 00:41:52,673
What is it?
978
00:41:56,113 --> 00:41:57,341
Nothing.
979
00:42:00,851 --> 00:42:03,752
All right. How would
you like to celebrate?
980
00:42:06,690 --> 00:42:10,057
Just pour yourself a cup
of apple juice. I feel sick.
981
00:42:12,730 --> 00:42:14,357
What?
982
00:42:14,431 --> 00:42:15,557
I couldn't find your iPod.
983
00:42:21,138 --> 00:42:25,074
Give me a couple days.
Be out of your hair.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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