1
00:00:04,662 --> 00:00:06,630
Buenos dias, erin.
2
00:00:06,698 --> 00:00:08,665
Buenos dias, miguel.
3
00:00:09,901 --> 00:00:11,368
Hello, dunder-mifflin.
4
00:00:11,436 --> 00:00:12,436
No, no, no, no.
5
00:00:12,504 --> 00:00:15,973
Solamente, en español,
por favor.
6
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,175
I believe that every man, woman,
and child in this country
7
00:00:18,443 --> 00:00:19,912
Should learn how
to speak spanish.
8
00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:20,965
They are our neighbors he south,
9
00:00:30,784 --> 00:00:32,151
An to cancun.
10
00:00:32,219 --> 00:00:35,054
Buenos diaz, jaime.
11
00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:36,622
Buenos diaz, miguel.
Como estas?
12
00:00:42,229 --> 00:00:43,662
Ha ha!
13
00:00:43,730 --> 00:00:44,630
Buenos diaz, dwight!
14
00:00:44,698 --> 00:00:46,565
Guten tag, herr michael.
15
00:00:46,633 --> 00:00:47,700
I don't understand why michael
16
00:00:47,768 --> 00:00:49,235
Is wasting his
time with spanish.
17
00:00:49,302 --> 00:00:50,603
I have it on very good authority
18
00:00:50,670 --> 00:00:51,804
That within 20 years,
19
00:00:51,872 --> 00:00:54,440
Everyone will be
speaking german.
20
00:00:54,508 --> 00:00:57,376
Or a chinese-german hybrid.
21
00:00:57,444 --> 00:00:59,612
La telefona.
22
00:00:59,679 --> 00:01:01,847
El telefono.
23
00:01:01,915 --> 00:01:06,118
Michael's having a hard time
with the gender part of spanish.
24
00:01:06,186 --> 00:01:07,720
So I told him to mark everything
25
00:01:07,788 --> 00:01:10,156
With the international
symbol for gender.
26
00:01:10,223 --> 00:01:11,624
And, um...
27
00:01:13,427 --> 00:01:15,261
I should have been
more specific.
28
00:01:15,328 --> 00:01:17,830
Your office is
full of genitalia.
29
00:01:17,898 --> 00:01:18,831
oh.
30
00:01:18,899 --> 00:01:21,634
Eso es lo que dice el.
31
00:01:21,701 --> 00:01:22,701
"that's what he says"?
32
00:01:22,769 --> 00:01:24,036
Damn it.
33
00:01:24,104 --> 00:01:25,638
Ah, angelo.
34
00:01:25,705 --> 00:01:27,039
Angela.
35
00:01:28,742 --> 00:01:29,642
Michael.
36
00:01:29,709 --> 00:01:31,076
Yo soy cancun.
37
00:01:33,713 --> 00:01:35,114
Uhh!
38
00:01:38,151 --> 00:01:46,192
Sync by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
39
00:01:57,237 --> 00:01:58,337
All right, so I'll finish
up on bulk pricing,
40
00:01:58,405 --> 00:02:00,139
And then you go into
delivery guarantee.
41
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:01,207
You know, maybe
there's an opportunity
42
00:02:01,274 --> 00:02:02,208
For a joke there.
43
00:02:02,275 --> 00:02:04,610
Like, um...Like,
44
00:02:04,678 --> 00:02:06,579
"I just delivered a baby.
45
00:02:06,646 --> 00:02:09,048
They didn't offer
me a guarantee."
46
00:02:09,115 --> 00:02:12,218
Yeah, or maybe we
don't even need that.
47
00:02:12,285 --> 00:02:13,519
Can you smell the
power of halperts?
48
00:02:13,587 --> 00:02:14,553
Power couple.
49
00:02:14,621 --> 00:02:15,754
You know what?
50
00:02:15,822 --> 00:02:17,022
I should be getting
this client, michael.
51
00:02:17,090 --> 00:02:18,424
My numbers are better
than either of theirs.
52
00:02:18,492 --> 00:02:19,725
I went with the people
53
00:02:19,793 --> 00:02:21,026
I thought would put the
best face on the company.
54
00:02:21,094 --> 00:02:22,061
If you want people
55
00:02:22,128 --> 00:02:23,796
To put the best
face on something,
56
00:02:23,864 --> 00:02:24,830
Why would you get two people
57
00:02:24,898 --> 00:02:26,131
Who probably have
never cut the face
58
00:02:26,199 --> 00:02:28,767
Off of anything in their lives?
59
00:02:28,835 --> 00:02:29,902
that's a good point.
60
00:02:29,970 --> 00:02:32,271
This is our first
joint sales pitch.
61
00:02:32,339 --> 00:02:35,174
I think we're gonna work
really well together.
62
00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:36,809
Yeah, I think we have
mplementary strengths.
63
00:02:42,777 --> 00:02:45,011
Hispering] I don't even
know who you are anymore.
64
00:02:45,079 --> 00:02:46,312
Yee.
65
00:02:48,616 --> 00:02:52,752
Hi, uh, donna newton,
here to see michael scott.
66
00:02:52,820 --> 00:02:54,320
Oh, hey, ms. Newton.
67
00:02:54,388 --> 00:02:55,422
Hi, I'm jim.
68
00:02:55,489 --> 00:02:56,556
How are you?
69
00:02:56,624 --> 00:02:58,458
Did somebody order
a hooker over here?
70
00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:00,693
- oh, stop that.
- Hi.
71
00:03:00,761 --> 00:03:01,828
How are you?
72
00:03:01,896 --> 00:03:03,396
There's this woman I
met a few weeks ago.
73
00:03:03,464 --> 00:03:04,764
Her name is donna,
74
00:03:04,832 --> 00:03:07,333
The manager of sid & dexter's.
75
00:03:07,401 --> 00:03:09,235
And, right now,
we're in the midst
76
00:03:09,303 --> 00:03:12,939
Of a passionate love affair.
77
00:03:13,007 --> 00:03:15,341
Um, no. But she is
coming by today.
78
00:03:15,409 --> 00:03:18,344
Maybe to buy some
printers, so...
79
00:03:18,412 --> 00:03:20,613
Right here,
we have the wonder twins,
80
00:03:20,681 --> 00:03:21,648
Jim and pam halpert.
81
00:03:21,715 --> 00:03:23,316
They will be
assisting you today.
82
00:03:23,384 --> 00:03:24,984
You look exactly alike.
83
00:03:25,052 --> 00:03:27,020
Oh, no, we're actually married.
84
00:03:27,087 --> 00:03:28,321
We're not brother and sister.
85
00:03:28,389 --> 00:03:29,823
I have a sense
about these things.
86
00:03:29,890 --> 00:03:30,990
All right.
87
00:03:31,058 --> 00:03:33,593
You have some
ancestors in common...
88
00:03:33,661 --> 00:03:34,661
Somewhere back.
89
00:03:34,728 --> 00:03:35,662
I knew it.
90
00:03:35,729 --> 00:03:39,032
You should see their baby.
91
00:03:39,099 --> 00:03:41,167
So, yes, laser printers
are more expensive.
92
00:03:41,235 --> 00:03:42,969
But they cost less to operate.
93
00:03:43,037 --> 00:03:46,806
so it's a tradeoff.
94
00:03:52,908 --> 00:03:54,542
These magazines sent to me
95
00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:57,145
Via the address of the woman
who used to live in my condo
96
00:03:57,212 --> 00:03:58,679
Before me.
97
00:03:58,747 --> 00:04:00,148
None of this is time sensitive.
98
00:04:00,215 --> 00:04:02,583
Uh, yes, uh, the sale
is on now through may.
99
00:04:02,651 --> 00:04:03,718
Oh, yeah, thank you.
100
00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:05,186
Okay, I have more of them.
101
00:04:05,254 --> 00:04:06,888
You would have
weekly confence calls
102
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,723
With executives in corporate.
103
00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:10,391
A two-week training program
104
00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:12,326
At the yale school
of management,
105
00:04:12,394 --> 00:04:13,494
Obviously, you would
be high on the list
106
00:04:13,562 --> 00:04:15,663
For advancement opportunities.
107
00:04:15,731 --> 00:04:17,131
Sounds all right.
108
00:04:17,199 --> 00:04:18,199
What is this?
109
00:04:18,267 --> 00:04:19,534
Oh, this is "print
in all colors,"
110
00:04:19,601 --> 00:04:22,136
Sabre's minority executive
training program.
111
00:04:22,204 --> 00:04:24,071
It doesn't just sound a'ight,
112
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,139
It sounds amazing.
113
00:04:25,207 --> 00:04:26,574
I didn't say "a'ight."
114
00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:27,675
How do I apply?
115
00:04:27,743 --> 00:04:29,210
You have to be a minority.
116
00:04:29,278 --> 00:04:31,379
Uh, glasses wearers.
117
00:04:31,446 --> 00:04:33,214
Cholera survivors. Geniuses.
118
00:04:33,282 --> 00:04:34,982
Non-organic family farmers.
119
00:04:35,050 --> 00:04:36,551
The list goes on and on.
You want me to keep going?
120
00:04:36,618 --> 00:04:37,952
Those don't really count.
121
00:04:38,020 --> 00:04:39,821
We're thinking more ethnic
and racial minorities.
122
00:04:39,888 --> 00:04:41,956
Come here.
123
00:04:42,024 --> 00:04:43,357
Come here. - Hmm?
124
00:04:43,425 --> 00:04:45,259
Ten seconds ago,
this guy was driving a forklift.
125
00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:48,729
Okay? Now, all of a sudden,
he's cinderella of the office.
126
00:04:48,797 --> 00:04:50,264
What are you guys thinking?
127
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:51,265
Well...
128
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,334
I like the sound of this.
129
00:04:53,402 --> 00:04:56,103
Maybe one day I'll be
sitting in michael's chair.
130
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:58,005
Wouldn't that be something?
131
00:04:58,073 --> 00:04:59,674
One minority from this branch
132
00:04:59,741 --> 00:05:01,275
Is going to get
into this program.
133
00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:03,711
Who would I prefer? Hmm...
134
00:05:03,779 --> 00:05:05,613
The competent, hardworking one
135
00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:07,815
Who does things his own way,
136
00:05:07,883 --> 00:05:09,851
Or the malleable simpleton
who can be bought
137
00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:12,887
For a few fashion magazines?
138
00:05:12,955 --> 00:05:14,288
This is the second time
139
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,823
That you've sent
me the wrong size.
140
00:05:15,891 --> 00:05:17,391
I mean, I know what a
four should feel like,
141
00:05:17,459 --> 00:05:18,893
I've been a four my whole life.
142
00:05:18,961 --> 00:05:19,961
You know what?
You can go to hell.
143
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,896
All right? Thanks for nothing.
144
00:05:21,964 --> 00:05:23,731
Oh, man.
145
00:05:23,799 --> 00:05:25,499
White people, right?
146
00:05:25,567 --> 00:05:26,701
I don't know if she was white.
147
00:05:26,768 --> 00:05:28,502
Well, you can kind of
tell from the voice.
148
00:05:28,570 --> 00:05:29,904
Yeah.
149
00:05:29,972 --> 00:05:31,505
I bet you get pulled
over by the cops a lot,
150
00:05:31,573 --> 00:05:33,107
Just because of your race.
151
00:05:33,175 --> 00:05:34,775
Well, they say it's
because of texting,
152
00:05:34,843 --> 00:05:36,177
But maybe you're right.
153
00:05:36,245 --> 00:05:37,645
I think you should
consider applying
154
00:05:37,713 --> 00:05:39,847
For the executive
minority training program.
155
00:05:39,915 --> 00:05:42,650
Never thought of myself
as an executive before.
156
00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:44,385
I know, 'cause you
have no role models.
157
00:05:44,453 --> 00:05:46,988
How many indian ceos
can you think of?
158
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:49,490
I can't think of any ceos,
any race.
159
00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:52,894
You could be the
indian bill gates.
160
00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:55,496
You could be the
indian ted turner.
161
00:05:57,099 --> 00:05:59,367
I could be the
indian julia roberts.
162
00:05:59,434 --> 00:06:02,570
That's not-- she's--okay.
163
00:06:02,638 --> 00:06:04,205
Yes.
164
00:06:04,273 --> 00:06:06,107
I took the liberty to
scan a few things earlier,
165
00:06:06,174 --> 00:06:07,508
And I want to show you--
166
00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:08,743
There we go!
167
00:06:08,810 --> 00:06:10,378
Whoa, look at those
vivid colors.
168
00:06:10,445 --> 00:06:11,712
Look at my eyes.
169
00:06:11,780 --> 00:06:13,447
Those are shrek-green eyes.
170
00:06:13,515 --> 00:06:14,849
That is me again.
171
00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:17,818
I think this displays the crisp,
dazzling white.
172
00:06:17,886 --> 00:06:18,853
Mm-hmm.
173
00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:20,354
And that would be a display
174
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:21,989
Of the crisp, gorgeous black.
175
00:06:22,057 --> 00:06:23,024
Yeah.
176
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:25,426
It's subtle.
177
00:06:25,494 --> 00:06:26,694
That's how it works.
178
00:06:26,762 --> 00:06:28,396
I show her an image
that turns her on.
179
00:06:28,463 --> 00:06:30,731
And then she looks at me,
then she looks at the image,
180
00:06:30,799 --> 00:06:32,300
Then back at me,
then back at the image.
181
00:06:32,367 --> 00:06:34,035
Soon, she doesn't
know what is me,
182
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,236
What is the image.
183
00:06:35,304 --> 00:06:37,204
She just knows that
she's turned on.
184
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,340
This is a place
that I like to go
185
00:06:39,408 --> 00:06:40,942
To be alone with my thoughts.
186
00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:44,011
I've never taken
anybody there before.
187
00:06:44,079 --> 00:06:45,513
Who took the photo?
188
00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:47,949
- Ryan.
- Oh.
189
00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:50,885
And that's it.
190
00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:52,753
That's me.
191
00:06:52,821 --> 00:06:54,155
That's who I am.
192
00:06:54,222 --> 00:06:56,290
Not bad.
193
00:06:56,358 --> 00:06:58,559
oh, thanks.
194
00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:00,561
you're not bad, either.
195
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,163
Thank you.
196
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:05,766
Ahem.
197
00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:06,901
Hmm.
198
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:09,804
Oh, my god.
199
00:07:09,871 --> 00:07:13,474
Jim! Could you come
in here for a sec?
200
00:07:13,542 --> 00:07:15,776
What was that printer
we were looking at?
201
00:07:18,398 --> 00:07:19,732
You didn't see it, pam.
202
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,300
She was giving me
all sorts of signals
203
00:07:21,368 --> 00:07:22,301
That she wanted
me to make a move.
204
00:07:22,369 --> 00:07:23,469
Shortbread? - No.
205
00:07:23,537 --> 00:07:24,937
I'll have one.
206
00:07:25,005 --> 00:07:27,473
Well, maybe you shouldn't
try to kiss people at work.
207
00:07:27,541 --> 00:07:28,541
Oh, really, jim?
208
00:07:28,608 --> 00:07:29,742
What about pam?
209
00:07:29,810 --> 00:07:31,811
And you did a heck of
a lot more than kiss.
210
00:07:31,878 --> 00:07:33,779
Maybe this could be my pam.
211
00:07:33,847 --> 00:07:35,114
Well, all that is irrelevant.
212
00:07:35,182 --> 00:07:36,982
Maybe michael has a point.
213
00:07:37,050 --> 00:07:39,852
I mean, if she was
really that upset,
214
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,320
She wouldn't still be here.
215
00:07:41,388 --> 00:07:44,957
Was it professional? No.
216
00:07:45,025 --> 00:07:46,659
But I work in the
nightlife industry.
217
00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:48,294
I get hit on all the time.
218
00:07:48,362 --> 00:07:51,530
In my 20s, it would
have been annoying.
219
00:07:51,598 --> 00:07:54,467
In my late 20s,
I find it really flattering.
220
00:07:54,534 --> 00:07:56,202
Look, I know that I
screwed up in there.
221
00:07:56,269 --> 00:07:58,304
I know that I probably
messed up your sale.
222
00:07:58,372 --> 00:07:59,638
I just want to go in and fix it.
223
00:07:59,706 --> 00:08:00,806
What if I back out,
224
00:08:00,874 --> 00:08:02,441
And you finish the
pitch with jim?
225
00:08:02,509 --> 00:08:03,609
What?
226
00:08:03,677 --> 00:08:04,844
What was that?
227
00:08:04,911 --> 00:08:06,011
Just let him flirt with her.
228
00:08:06,079 --> 00:08:07,780
People meet each other
all sorts of ways.
229
00:08:07,848 --> 00:08:09,415
Pam, you know he's not
gonna get anywhere,
230
00:08:09,483 --> 00:08:10,616
And he's gonna blow our sale.
231
00:08:10,684 --> 00:08:12,284
Who cares? It's not
that huge a sale.
232
00:08:12,352 --> 00:08:14,019
Hey, the schwab guy told
us to treat every sale
233
00:08:14,087 --> 00:08:15,388
Like it was a huge sale.
234
00:08:15,455 --> 00:08:17,857
Don't act like you understood
anything that guy said.
235
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:21,894
Good luck, wingman.
236
00:08:24,965 --> 00:08:27,500
How has being a
minority affected you?
237
00:08:27,567 --> 00:08:29,101
Well, there's a lot of
pressure from my parents
238
00:08:29,169 --> 00:08:31,504
To settle down and
marry an indian guy.
239
00:08:31,571 --> 00:08:33,639
Oh, good, and you
resent this because...
240
00:08:33,707 --> 00:08:35,274
Indian guys always
wear their cell phones
241
00:08:35,342 --> 00:08:36,342
Outside their pants.
242
00:08:36,410 --> 00:08:37,710
It's so dorky.
243
00:08:37,778 --> 00:08:39,412
Oh, no, no. That's not dorky.
244
00:08:39,479 --> 00:08:41,447
Look, it's easily accessible.
245
00:08:41,515 --> 00:08:43,649
Boom, like this. 911, hello.
246
00:08:43,717 --> 00:08:44,950
Scranton strangler's
in the house.
247
00:08:45,018 --> 00:08:47,453
Inside the house.
248
00:08:47,521 --> 00:08:49,655
Just put it in your pocket.
249
00:08:51,491 --> 00:08:52,558
Look at that.
250
00:08:52,626 --> 00:08:54,794
She's totally flirting with him.
251
00:08:54,861 --> 00:08:56,028
You don't know that.
252
00:08:56,096 --> 00:08:58,964
Some people can't
help oozing sexuality.
253
00:08:59,032 --> 00:09:01,233
You ever notice you can
only ooze two things:
254
00:09:01,301 --> 00:09:03,235
Sexuality and pus.
255
00:09:03,303 --> 00:09:04,637
Man, I tell ya.
256
00:09:04,704 --> 00:09:07,840
She just crossed her arms
together--that's bad.
257
00:09:07,908 --> 00:09:09,275
Maybe she's just pushing
her breasts together
258
00:09:09,342 --> 00:09:10,810
To make them look bigger.
259
00:09:16,216 --> 00:09:17,616
Like that?
260
00:09:17,684 --> 00:09:20,286
Is this--is this the best
you can do right there?
261
00:09:20,353 --> 00:09:21,687
Uh, for that printer, yes.
262
00:09:21,755 --> 00:09:24,056
Unfortunately, we don't
have a lot of flexibility.
263
00:09:24,124 --> 00:09:25,458
Oh.
264
00:09:25,525 --> 00:09:27,426
Well, I guess I'm just used
to the restaurant business,
265
00:09:27,494 --> 00:09:28,961
Where, if you're in charge,
266
00:09:29,029 --> 00:09:30,830
Then you can always
get discounts
267
00:09:30,897 --> 00:09:32,164
For the people that you like.
268
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:35,968
So maybe we could find a
little wiggle room, right?
269
00:09:36,036 --> 00:09:37,336
What's that?
270
00:09:37,404 --> 00:09:38,938
Maybe we find some wiggle room?
271
00:09:39,005 --> 00:09:40,272
I don't-- I don't think so.
272
00:09:40,340 --> 00:09:41,841
I think we could.
273
00:09:44,444 --> 00:09:46,078
I don't see how we could
possibly sell these
274
00:09:46,146 --> 00:09:47,813
For that little
without losing money.
275
00:09:47,881 --> 00:09:49,482
Delivery alone will cost--
276
00:09:49,549 --> 00:09:50,916
Okay, well, sometimes--
277
00:09:50,984 --> 00:09:53,319
Sometimes it makes
financial sense
278
00:09:53,386 --> 00:09:54,687
To lose money, right?
279
00:09:54,754 --> 00:09:56,355
Like for tax purposes.
280
00:09:56,423 --> 00:09:58,424
Actually,
ran the numbers on this,
281
00:09:58,492 --> 00:10:00,125
And in this case,
it makes more financial sense
282
00:10:00,193 --> 00:10:01,360
To gain money.
283
00:10:01,428 --> 00:10:02,461
Why don't you run them again.
284
00:10:02,529 --> 00:10:03,629
What if she's just
flirting with you
285
00:10:03,697 --> 00:10:04,897
To get a better price?
286
00:10:04,965 --> 00:10:06,198
If she is, it's working.
287
00:10:06,266 --> 00:10:08,434
Yeah, michael, here's a trick.
288
00:10:08,502 --> 00:10:10,202
As her if she wants a mint.
289
00:10:10,270 --> 00:10:14,373
If she says no,
then she is not interested.
290
00:10:14,441 --> 00:10:16,208
She does not like him.
291
00:10:16,276 --> 00:10:18,611
You can flirt with someone
to get what you want
292
00:10:18,678 --> 00:10:20,713
And also be attracted to them.
293
00:10:20,780 --> 00:10:22,448
How do you think
we got together?
294
00:10:22,516 --> 00:10:24,383
'cause I stopped by your
desk like 15 times a day.
295
00:10:24,451 --> 00:10:26,085
I was after your money.
296
00:10:26,152 --> 00:10:27,219
Well, the joke was on you.
297
00:10:27,287 --> 00:10:28,988
Yes, it was.
298
00:10:29,055 --> 00:10:31,056
Can you stop micromanaging?
299
00:10:31,124 --> 00:10:32,291
I know how to do this. - Okay.
300
00:10:32,359 --> 00:10:34,059
Hey... What are you guys doing?
301
00:10:34,127 --> 00:10:35,928
This girls was really
rude to me at the mall.
302
00:10:35,996 --> 00:10:37,696
So I created a fake I.M. Account
303
00:10:37,764 --> 00:10:39,164
From a hot guy at
her high school,
304
00:10:39,232 --> 00:10:40,699
And now I'm trying
to make her anorexic.
305
00:10:40,767 --> 00:10:42,301
Tell her everyone in home
room thinks she's fat.
306
00:10:42,369 --> 00:10:44,003
Oh, that is so good.
307
00:10:44,070 --> 00:10:46,071
You know, we should keep
practicing for this interview.
308
00:10:46,139 --> 00:10:47,573
Oh, that's okay.
Ryan coached me.
309
00:10:47,641 --> 00:10:49,475
Ryan? What does he know?
310
00:10:49,543 --> 00:10:51,777
It's easy--you just turn every
question around on them.
311
00:10:51,845 --> 00:10:52,845
Do you think you're
treated differently
312
00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:54,213
Because of your race?
313
00:10:54,281 --> 00:10:56,515
Would you ask that same
question if I was white?
314
00:10:56,583 --> 00:10:57,516
We're so in.
315
00:10:57,584 --> 00:10:58,584
"we"?
316
00:10:58,652 --> 00:10:59,718
When I become executive,
317
00:10:59,786 --> 00:11:00,986
I'm gonna make ryan manager.
318
00:11:01,054 --> 00:11:03,989
And then the two of
us are cleaning house.
319
00:11:04,057 --> 00:11:06,525
Kelly will be even
worse than darryl.
320
00:11:06,593 --> 00:11:08,060
If you'd have told
me this morning
321
00:11:08,128 --> 00:11:09,695
That today I'd be
creating a monster
322
00:11:09,763 --> 00:11:11,630
Capable of my own destruction,
323
00:11:11,698 --> 00:11:12,998
I'd have thought
you were referring
324
00:11:13,066 --> 00:11:15,834
To the bull mose and I
are trying to reanimate.
325
00:11:15,902 --> 00:11:18,170
So corporate approval
of this contract
326
00:11:18,238 --> 00:11:20,239
Is contingent upon
buyer and seller...
327
00:11:20,307 --> 00:11:23,609
- Mm-hmm.
- Obtaining blahdy blahdy blah.
328
00:11:23,677 --> 00:11:25,911
Boilerplate. Pound of fish.
329
00:11:25,979 --> 00:11:27,846
Just kidding. -
330
00:11:27,914 --> 00:11:29,048
Do you like mints?
331
00:11:29,115 --> 00:11:30,049
Yes.
332
00:11:30,116 --> 00:11:32,117
I carry mints with me sometimes.
333
00:11:32,185 --> 00:11:33,786
- You ever tried those?
- Oh, I haven't tried those.
334
00:11:33,853 --> 00:11:35,187
- No.
- They're good.
335
00:11:35,255 --> 00:11:37,489
You want one?
336
00:11:37,557 --> 00:11:39,091
Sure.
337
00:11:39,159 --> 00:11:42,995
It's like cool...
"certified cool."
338
00:11:43,063 --> 00:11:45,531
I like how they say "certified."
339
00:11:45,599 --> 00:11:50,636
Like there's some
consortium of...
340
00:11:50,704 --> 00:11:52,304
Michael!
341
00:11:52,372 --> 00:11:54,406
I'm sorry.
342
00:11:54,474 --> 00:11:55,975
I can't stop myself
from kissing her.
343
00:11:56,042 --> 00:11:57,576
Yeah, now you know how I feel
344
00:11:57,644 --> 00:12:00,179
Sitting next to
those m&ms all day.
345
00:12:00,246 --> 00:12:02,114
Well, why don't you
just move the m&ms?
346
00:12:02,182 --> 00:12:03,749
Well, why don't you shut up!
347
00:12:03,817 --> 00:12:04,883
Okay, guys, guys, guys.
348
00:12:04,951 --> 00:12:06,619
Just tell me it's
not totally insane
349
00:12:06,686 --> 00:12:08,754
To try one more time.
It is totally insane.
350
00:12:08,822 --> 00:12:11,323
Michael, he's right.
You are turning into a stalker.
351
00:12:11,391 --> 00:12:13,626
Okay. What do you think?
352
00:12:13,693 --> 00:12:14,927
I think it's over, man.
353
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:16,929
Andy?
354
00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:18,731
Ehh.
355
00:12:18,798 --> 00:12:20,065
Okay, some for, some against.
356
00:12:20,133 --> 00:12:21,500
- Nobody's for.
- Pam?
357
00:12:21,568 --> 00:12:23,335
- Hmm?
- What do you think?
358
00:12:23,403 --> 00:12:25,104
Um...
359
00:12:25,171 --> 00:12:26,905
I think it's really,
really unlikely.
360
00:12:26,973 --> 00:12:29,508
- Okay.
- Really unlikely.
361
00:12:29,576 --> 00:12:31,276
But I can't say that
it's impossible.
362
00:12:31,344 --> 00:12:32,611
What?
363
00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:34,713
I'm not saying she's
in love with him.
364
00:12:34,781 --> 00:12:36,949
But she could have
left a while ago.
365
00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:38,651
Most printer sales are
done over the phone,
366
00:12:38,718 --> 00:12:40,686
Ms. Boob shirt.
367
00:12:40,754 --> 00:12:42,221
I'm going with pam's group.
368
00:12:42,288 --> 00:12:43,756
Wait.
369
00:12:43,823 --> 00:12:45,257
- Here we go.
- Michael.
370
00:12:45,325 --> 00:12:46,592
Michael. - Okay.
371
00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:48,661
- Michael.
- No, guys, guys, guys.
372
00:12:48,728 --> 00:12:51,864
Guys, just-
thank you for talking.
373
00:12:51,931 --> 00:12:53,832
Wish me luck. - No.
374
00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:55,768
What sort of movie would
rudy have been
375
00:12:55,835 --> 00:12:57,836
If he had just stopped,
given up,
376
00:12:57,904 --> 00:13:01,206
After two rejections?
377
00:13:01,274 --> 00:13:02,975
Would have been a lot shorter.
378
00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:04,543
Probably been a lot funnier.
379
00:13:04,611 --> 00:13:08,247
But it would have ultimately
been a disappointment.
380
00:13:08,314 --> 00:13:09,782
I still would have seen it,
381
00:13:09,849 --> 00:13:13,118
But that's not...
382
00:13:13,186 --> 00:13:14,720
The point.
383
00:13:16,961 --> 00:13:19,129
- Kelly is disqualified!
- What?
384
00:13:19,197 --> 00:13:21,198
You said the program is
not open to caucasians.
385
00:13:21,265 --> 00:13:22,899
Well...
386
00:13:22,967 --> 00:13:25,035
Anthropologically,
she is indian.
387
00:13:25,103 --> 00:13:28,071
Indians migrated from the
caucuses region of europe.
388
00:13:28,139 --> 00:13:30,507
Therefore, technically,
she is caucasian.
389
00:13:30,575 --> 00:13:31,708
You're welcome, america.
390
00:13:31,776 --> 00:13:33,243
Yeah, but she's not white,
though.
391
00:13:33,311 --> 00:13:35,746
Well, obviously,
she is brownish.
392
00:13:35,813 --> 00:13:37,180
But, come on, I mean,
393
00:13:37,248 --> 00:13:38,682
Darryl is far more ethnic.
394
00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:40,050
Darryl withdrew his application.
395
00:13:40,118 --> 00:13:42,319
He said the yale program
396
00:13:42,387 --> 00:13:44,755
Interfered with his
softball league, you know?
397
00:13:44,822 --> 00:13:46,056
He's gone.
398
00:13:46,124 --> 00:13:48,725
I got my whole life to
be a minority executive.
399
00:13:48,793 --> 00:13:51,595
I only have about a year
left in these knees, though.
400
00:13:51,663 --> 00:13:53,263
Kelly is the only applicant.
401
00:13:53,331 --> 00:13:56,066
Yeah, unless somebody
else applies today.
402
00:13:56,134 --> 00:13:57,167
Namaste.
403
00:13:59,003 --> 00:14:00,704
Oh, dear god.
404
00:14:00,772 --> 00:14:03,340
Okay.
405
00:14:03,408 --> 00:14:04,841
Don't make any
decisions just yet.
406
00:14:04,909 --> 00:14:06,476
Okay? I'll be right back.
407
00:14:08,246 --> 00:14:09,413
Hello.
408
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,081
That's very nice.
409
00:14:11,149 --> 00:14:12,249
I never noticed that before.
410
00:14:12,316 --> 00:14:14,151
Sometimes my bangs cover it.
411
00:14:14,218 --> 00:14:16,720
Yeah. I don't want to
be offensive but, uh,
412
00:14:16,788 --> 00:14:18,021
May I ask you what that means?
413
00:14:18,089 --> 00:14:21,658
I do find that offensive,
actually.
414
00:14:21,726 --> 00:14:25,028
We should have your
contract done by Thursday.
415
00:14:25,096 --> 00:14:26,363
Oh, great.
416
00:14:26,431 --> 00:14:28,331
Great, I will look out
for that stuff, then.
417
00:14:28,399 --> 00:14:30,333
- Okay.
- And, um...
418
00:14:30,401 --> 00:14:33,170
You know, I just wanted
to say it was really...
419
00:14:33,237 --> 00:14:34,871
Really nice to do
business with you.
420
00:14:34,939 --> 00:14:37,741
Yeah, it was nice to do
business with you too.
421
00:14:37,809 --> 00:14:39,943
Thank you.
422
00:14:40,011 --> 00:14:42,279
Did I...Get everything?
423
00:14:42,346 --> 00:14:43,547
I don't know. I think so.
424
00:14:43,614 --> 00:14:45,749
Yeah, I think so.
425
00:14:45,817 --> 00:14:46,883
okay.
426
00:14:49,854 --> 00:14:51,955
So--oh, donna? - Yeah?
427
00:14:52,023 --> 00:14:53,423
Do you need validation?
428
00:14:53,491 --> 00:14:54,925
We don't-- we don't validate.
429
00:14:54,992 --> 00:14:56,626
No, it's just in the lot, so...
430
00:14:56,694 --> 00:14:58,895
- Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
431
00:14:58,963 --> 00:15:01,098
You're...Welcome.
432
00:15:01,165 --> 00:15:02,532
Mmm.
433
00:15:03,868 --> 00:15:05,302
Bye.
434
00:15:06,804 --> 00:15:08,939
Ahem. So, um...
435
00:15:09,006 --> 00:15:10,273
Okay, if you have--
436
00:15:10,341 --> 00:15:12,008
If there's any other
questions that you have...
437
00:15:12,076 --> 00:15:16,146
I don't have, uh,
any other questions.
438
00:15:16,214 --> 00:15:18,281
I'm just gonna...
439
00:15:18,349 --> 00:15:20,584
Make my way down to--
440
00:15:20,651 --> 00:15:21,952
All right. Bye.
441
00:15:22,019 --> 00:15:23,286
Bye-bye!
442
00:15:23,354 --> 00:15:24,621
And have a good elevator ride.
443
00:15:24,689 --> 00:15:26,890
Okay.
444
00:15:26,958 --> 00:15:29,025
Oh, what's that out there?
445
00:15:33,931 --> 00:15:35,966
Michael, how did it go?
446
00:15:39,170 --> 00:15:40,604
How would one of you feel
447
00:15:40,671 --> 00:15:42,906
If I told you I could
put you on a fast track
448
00:15:42,974 --> 00:15:45,142
To an executive position
at this company?
449
00:15:45,209 --> 00:15:47,244
Holy cow. I'd be so happy.
450
00:15:47,311 --> 00:15:48,979
I wasn't talking to you,
pale face.
451
00:15:49,046 --> 00:15:50,847
I know. I meant I'd
be happy for them.
452
00:15:50,915 --> 00:15:53,784
What I'm offering is a
ticket on a bullet train
453
00:15:53,851 --> 00:15:55,085
Straight to middle management.
454
00:15:55,153 --> 00:15:57,420
Dwight, I know these programs.
455
00:15:57,488 --> 00:16:00,157
"every color is important
because, together,
456
00:16:00,224 --> 00:16:01,591
We make a rainbow."
457
00:16:01,659 --> 00:16:02,826
Yes.
458
00:16:02,894 --> 00:16:04,194
I'll slap you in the
face with a rainbow.
459
00:16:04,262 --> 00:16:05,862
Mm!
460
00:16:05,930 --> 00:16:07,030
Speaking of rainbows,
461
00:16:07,098 --> 00:16:08,532
Oscar...
462
00:16:08,599 --> 00:16:11,001
You are kind of a
double minority.
463
00:16:11,068 --> 00:16:12,435
Gay.
464
00:16:12,503 --> 00:16:15,238
So we at sabre could really
benefit from your perspective.
465
00:16:15,306 --> 00:16:18,875
Dwight, we know kelly applied.
466
00:16:18,943 --> 00:16:20,510
We're not gonna cross her.
467
00:16:20,578 --> 00:16:22,112
No matter how good
the program is.
468
00:16:22,180 --> 00:16:23,814
I can protect you from kelly.
469
00:16:25,016 --> 00:16:26,783
Will you get out of here?
Seriously.
470
00:16:26,851 --> 00:16:30,554
For hobbies, um, yoga,
belly dancing,
471
00:16:30,621 --> 00:16:31,888
Snake charming.
472
00:16:31,956 --> 00:16:33,857
Beds of nails,
I like lying on them.
473
00:16:33,925 --> 00:16:35,458
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
474
00:16:35,526 --> 00:16:38,028
This is hide tohsi hasagawa.
475
00:16:38,095 --> 00:16:39,262
He would like to apply for
476
00:16:39,330 --> 00:16:40,764
The sabre minority
executive training program
477
00:16:40,832 --> 00:16:42,199
"print in all
colors" initiative.
478
00:16:42,266 --> 00:16:43,433
Dwight, what are you doing?
479
00:16:43,501 --> 00:16:44,935
Helping heal america
480
00:16:45,002 --> 00:16:45,936
In a dramatic fashion
481
00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:46,970
In the 11th hour.
482
00:16:47,038 --> 00:16:49,005
God, I hate you so much!
483
00:16:49,073 --> 00:16:52,309
Caucasians, am I right?
484
00:16:52,376 --> 00:16:53,610
Have a seat. I'll translate.
485
00:16:53,678 --> 00:16:55,545
Why? I don't need translator.
486
00:16:55,613 --> 00:16:57,714
You don't know what
you need. Just...
487
00:16:57,782 --> 00:17:00,650
Why don't you tell me a
little about yourself, hide.
488
00:17:00,718 --> 00:17:03,954
In japan, heart surgeon,
number one.
489
00:17:04,021 --> 00:17:05,322
Steady hand.
490
00:17:22,306 --> 00:17:24,040
Hey, michael. How you doing?
491
00:17:24,108 --> 00:17:26,676
I don't know. I don't know.
492
00:17:26,744 --> 00:17:28,144
Can't really trust
my feelings anymore.
493
00:17:28,212 --> 00:17:30,480
You know what, michael?
For what it's worth...
494
00:17:30,548 --> 00:17:32,048
I was wrong too.
495
00:17:32,116 --> 00:17:33,250
I thought she was
interested in you.
496
00:17:33,317 --> 00:17:34,651
She suckered you too.
497
00:17:34,719 --> 00:17:35,652
Mm-hmm.
498
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:36,753
Was it the cleavage?
499
00:17:36,821 --> 00:17:38,321
Yeah, and the shoulder cutouts.
500
00:17:38,389 --> 00:17:40,156
- Yep.
- Michael, you know,
501
00:17:40,224 --> 00:17:41,524
It's easy to get fooled.
502
00:17:41,592 --> 00:17:43,927
Bob's warehouse guys flirt
with me all the time.
503
00:17:43,995 --> 00:17:45,795
It--it's mostly harmless.
504
00:17:45,863 --> 00:17:47,964
Usually I don't
let it go too far.
505
00:17:48,032 --> 00:17:50,000
You know, when I tore my scrote,
506
00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:51,935
I was, uh...
507
00:17:52,003 --> 00:17:54,337
I was seeing this really
hot urologist about it,
508
00:17:54,405 --> 00:17:56,172
And thought she was into me.
509
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:59,042
But now I think she was
just doing a bunch of stuff
510
00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:00,343
To bill my hmo.
511
00:18:00,411 --> 00:18:01,745
You know...
512
00:18:01,812 --> 00:18:03,079
She's touching
around down there.
513
00:18:03,147 --> 00:18:04,581
It's easy to get confused.
514
00:18:04,649 --> 00:18:06,549
Michael, I think
donna left this here.
515
00:18:06,617 --> 00:18:08,285
Should I put it in the
lost and found for 14 days
516
00:18:08,352 --> 00:18:09,586
And then I can take it home?
517
00:18:09,654 --> 00:18:11,888
God.
518
00:18:11,956 --> 00:18:13,623
She left this here? - Yeah.
519
00:18:13,691 --> 00:18:15,425
Okay.
520
00:18:15,493 --> 00:18:18,194
Maybe she wants me to return
this to her at her work.
521
00:18:18,262 --> 00:18:20,063
What? All: No.
522
00:18:20,131 --> 00:18:22,565
Yeah. This could be a signal.
523
00:18:22,633 --> 00:18:24,267
People don't just
take barrettes off.
524
00:18:24,335 --> 00:18:25,635
It's not a signal.
525
00:18:25,703 --> 00:18:26,736
It's just a coincidence.
526
00:18:26,804 --> 00:18:27,971
No, it's not even a coincidence.
527
00:18:28,039 --> 00:18:29,306
It's just something
that happened.
528
00:18:29,373 --> 00:18:30,640
- Michael...
- Well...
529
00:18:30,708 --> 00:18:32,943
She doesn't want you
to return the barrette.
530
00:18:33,010 --> 00:18:34,644
She's not interested in you.
531
00:18:36,247 --> 00:18:37,547
Yeah, I know. I know.
532
00:18:37,615 --> 00:18:39,649
- I'm sorry.
- I know. You're right.
533
00:18:39,717 --> 00:18:40,750
Thank you.
534
00:18:40,818 --> 00:18:42,285
Thanks, everybody.
535
00:18:45,856 --> 00:18:47,557
Michael!
536
00:18:55,299 --> 00:18:56,666
Michael!
537
00:18:58,169 --> 00:19:00,103
Oh. You're still here.
538
00:19:00,171 --> 00:19:02,272
I have your baguette.
539
00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:04,174
Everyone,
540
00:19:04,241 --> 00:19:06,776
It is my pleasure to
announce our newest member
541
00:19:06,844 --> 00:19:09,312
Of the sabre minority
executive training program,
542
00:19:09,380 --> 00:19:11,982
Kelly rajanigandha kapoor.
543
00:19:13,184 --> 00:19:14,584
All right.
544
00:19:14,652 --> 00:19:16,853
They're going to be pretty
pleased in tallahassee
545
00:19:16,921 --> 00:19:19,155
That I snagged an
indian for the program.
546
00:19:19,223 --> 00:19:20,223
She'll be the first.
547
00:19:20,291 --> 00:19:21,491
The program's mostly black.
548
00:19:21,559 --> 00:19:24,594
It's almost too black.
549
00:19:24,662 --> 00:19:27,163
That didn't sound right.
550
00:19:27,231 --> 00:19:30,000
And the best part is is that
I get a business stipend
551
00:19:30,067 --> 00:19:31,634
To buy all new clothes.
552
00:19:31,702 --> 00:19:33,770
So you can totally buy
any of my old clothes
553
00:19:33,838 --> 00:19:34,838
That I'm not gonna need anymore.
554
00:19:34,905 --> 00:19:35,939
Oh, my god, thank you so much.
555
00:19:36,007 --> 00:19:37,874
I love that denim
jumpsuit you have.
556
00:19:37,942 --> 00:19:38,942
How much? - Oh.
557
00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:40,543
Actually, I was
thinking about clothes
558
00:19:40,611 --> 00:19:41,978
That I was just gonna
give to goodwill anyway.
559
00:19:42,046 --> 00:19:43,413
Great.
560
00:19:43,481 --> 00:19:45,448
Hey, kiddo.
561
00:19:45,516 --> 00:19:47,450
Congratulations are in order.
562
00:19:47,518 --> 00:19:48,885
You deserve it.
563
00:19:52,523 --> 00:19:54,557
- Thank you, dwight.
- Oh.
564
00:19:54,625 --> 00:19:56,593
I'll never forget everything
that you've done for me.
565
00:19:56,660 --> 00:19:58,328
Gosh. Heh heh.
566
00:19:58,396 --> 00:20:00,764
Because I never forget anything.
567
00:20:02,633 --> 00:20:05,001
Just once, I would like
to be a puppet master
568
00:20:05,069 --> 00:20:06,503
And have nothing go wrong.
569
00:20:06,570 --> 00:20:08,671
Is that too much to ask?
570
00:20:08,739 --> 00:20:10,407
You know what? Everybody told me
571
00:20:10,474 --> 00:20:11,608
That you weren't interested.
572
00:20:11,675 --> 00:20:13,176
Everybody.
573
00:20:13,244 --> 00:20:16,046
And I didn't believe 'em.
574
00:20:16,113 --> 00:20:19,382
And they were right.
575
00:20:19,450 --> 00:20:20,884
So...
576
00:20:20,951 --> 00:20:23,019
There's your barrette.
577
00:20:23,087 --> 00:20:26,356
No, y-you were...Right.
578
00:20:26,424 --> 00:20:27,424
Who?
579
00:20:27,491 --> 00:20:29,292
You were right.
580
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:30,960
About what?
581
00:20:31,028 --> 00:20:32,862
You were right.
582
00:20:39,036 --> 00:20:40,003
I'm sorry.
583
00:20:40,071 --> 00:20:41,104
No, no. No.
584
00:20:41,172 --> 00:20:43,506
- I'm sor--
- no.
585
00:21:25,459 --> 00:21:26,214
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