1 00:00:09,637 --> 00:00:12,872 - ♪ no no no no no no no no no ♪ 2 00:00:12,940 --> 00:00:17,467 ♪ no no no no no no no no no no ♪ 3 00:00:17,535 --> 00:00:21,103 ♪ no no no no no no no no no no ♪ 4 00:00:21,170 --> 00:00:24,546 ♪ nobody can do shing-a-ling like I do ♪ 5 00:00:24,613 --> 00:00:27,450 ♪ nobody can do the skate like I do ♪ 6 00:00:27,518 --> 00:00:30,655 ♪ nobody can to the boogaloo like I do ♪ 7 00:00:30,723 --> 00:00:33,858 ♪ nobody can do the Philly like I do ♪ 8 00:00:33,926 --> 00:00:36,662 ♪ well, don't you know I'm gonna skate, I do it ♪ 9 00:00:36,730 --> 00:00:38,567 ♪ ain't nobody do it but me nobody but me ♪ 10 00:00:38,635 --> 00:00:40,202 - You're falling behind. 11 00:00:40,270 --> 00:00:42,670 - ♪ well, I'm gonna Philly I do it ♪ 12 00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,937 ♪ ain't nobody do it but me, babe ♪ 13 00:00:45,005 --> 00:00:46,972 ♪ nobody but me ♪ 14 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:48,905 - Wuphf.Com. - Ryan, we're doing... 15 00:00:48,973 --> 00:00:50,774 - This is how you build a business. 16 00:00:52,611 --> 00:00:55,146 ♪ let me tell you nobody nobody ♪ 17 00:00:55,214 --> 00:00:56,580 ♪ nobody, nobody ♪ 18 00:00:56,648 --> 00:00:58,145 ♪ nobody, nobody ♪ 19 00:00:58,213 --> 00:00:59,744 ♪ nobody, nobody ♪ 20 00:00:59,812 --> 00:01:01,312 ♪ nobody, nobody ♪ 21 00:01:01,380 --> 00:01:02,847 ♪ nobody, nobody ♪ 22 00:01:02,914 --> 00:01:04,316 ♪ nobody, nobody ♪ 23 00:01:04,384 --> 00:01:06,352 ♪ nobody, nobody ♪ 24 00:01:15,229 --> 00:01:17,396 - You got creed. 25 00:01:17,464 --> 00:01:20,066 - You make it so hard to love you sometimes. 26 00:01:20,133 --> 00:01:21,901 - You're behind. 27 00:01:21,969 --> 00:01:24,904 - I said I didn't want to be on the Internet! 28 00:01:24,972 --> 00:01:28,008 - Go, go, go, go! 29 00:01:28,076 --> 00:01:30,945 - ♪ no no no no no no no no no ♪ 30 00:01:31,013 --> 00:01:35,851 ♪ no no no no no no no no no no ♪ 31 00:01:35,918 --> 00:01:39,488 ♪ no no no no no no no no no no ♪ 32 00:01:39,555 --> 00:01:41,590 ♪ nobody can do ♪ Streamers! 33 00:01:41,658 --> 00:01:43,025 - ♪ like I do ♪ 34 00:01:48,467 --> 00:01:50,067 - Dwight! 35 00:01:53,771 --> 00:01:56,473 - ♪ nobody, nobody ♪ 36 00:01:56,541 --> 00:01:59,977 ♪ nobody, nobody ♪ 37 00:02:00,044 --> 00:02:02,878 ♪ nobody, nobody ♪ 38 00:02:02,946 --> 00:02:05,947 ♪ nobody, nobody ♪ 39 00:02:06,014 --> 00:02:09,150 ♪ nobody, nobody ♪ 40 00:02:09,218 --> 00:02:12,654 ♪ nobody, nobody ♪ 41 00:02:13,789 --> 00:02:15,657 - Toby, how did we do? 42 00:02:15,725 --> 00:02:17,225 - Well, that was better. 43 00:02:17,293 --> 00:02:18,560 - Whoo! We did it! 44 00:02:18,628 --> 00:02:22,498 Yes! 45 00:02:27,670 --> 00:02:33,874 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 46 00:03:00,226 --> 00:03:03,695 - I suppose summer had to end sometime. 47 00:03:03,763 --> 00:03:06,931 It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. 48 00:03:06,999 --> 00:03:09,866 I got West Nile virus. Lost a ton of weight. 49 00:03:09,934 --> 00:03:11,868 Then I went back to the Lake. 50 00:03:11,935 --> 00:03:15,303 I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, 51 00:03:15,371 --> 00:03:16,736 Which hurt. 52 00:03:16,804 --> 00:03:20,304 That got infected, even though I peed on it. 53 00:03:20,372 --> 00:03:23,574 - Saw inception. 54 00:03:23,641 --> 00:03:26,977 Or at least I dreamt I did. 55 00:03:27,044 --> 00:03:28,612 - Broccoli Rob, obviously, 56 00:03:28,679 --> 00:03:30,513 Will be there. - Yes, of course. 57 00:03:30,581 --> 00:03:32,815 - And j.C. We call him Blorville 58 00:03:32,883 --> 00:03:35,684 Because he looks like a black Orville Redenbacher. 59 00:03:35,752 --> 00:03:37,519 - Who's the guy who invented the peanut? 60 00:03:37,587 --> 00:03:40,222 - Hey, guys. - Hey! 61 00:03:40,290 --> 00:03:41,557 - Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. 62 00:03:41,625 --> 00:03:42,558 - Not at all. 63 00:03:42,626 --> 00:03:43,559 - I'm gonna head back 64 00:03:43,627 --> 00:03:44,894 To Siberia there. 65 00:03:44,962 --> 00:03:46,795 - Aw. - Ciao. 66 00:03:49,631 --> 00:03:52,032 I started dating Erin this summer. 67 00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:56,202 It has been, in a word, exquisite. 68 00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:57,670 - Gabe is awesome. 69 00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:03,108 He has accomplished so much career-wise and height-wise. 70 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,510 Thank God he's my boss because 71 00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,445 I would not have said yes to a first date 72 00:04:07,513 --> 00:04:08,813 If I didn't have to. 73 00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:11,649 But...It's been great. 74 00:04:11,716 --> 00:04:13,884 - Am I angry that Gabe stole my girlfriend 75 00:04:13,952 --> 00:04:14,918 Over the summer? 76 00:04:14,986 --> 00:04:16,319 No. 77 00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:19,488 I've been through anger management, okay? 78 00:04:19,555 --> 00:04:23,357 So right now I am sitting on a nice beach at Cape Cod, 79 00:04:23,425 --> 00:04:27,160 Gazing out across the whitecaps. 80 00:04:27,228 --> 00:04:29,796 Oh, look, it's a humpback whale. 81 00:04:29,863 --> 00:04:33,165 How pretty. 82 00:04:33,233 --> 00:04:36,301 He's eating Gabe. 83 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:41,205 - Hey. 84 00:04:41,273 --> 00:04:43,107 What are you doing? 85 00:04:43,175 --> 00:04:45,410 - From now on, if you're hot, sit on an ice pack. 86 00:04:45,477 --> 00:04:46,911 - Well, what if you're cold? 87 00:04:46,979 --> 00:04:50,280 - Pbbbt! Like you'd ever be cold, Kevin. 88 00:04:50,348 --> 00:04:51,782 Stop asking me hypothetical questions. 89 00:04:51,850 --> 00:04:53,617 I'm too busy. 90 00:04:53,685 --> 00:04:54,985 - Hey, Dwight, I don't know if you heard, 91 00:04:55,053 --> 00:04:56,687 But we're supposed to be drinking out of weird backpacks 92 00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:58,155 Instead of cups, like regular people. 93 00:04:58,223 --> 00:04:59,189 Oh, you did hear. 94 00:04:59,256 --> 00:05:01,423 - Jim, you have one job to do, 95 00:05:01,491 --> 00:05:02,791 And you do it forgettably. 96 00:05:02,858 --> 00:05:05,392 Those of us who are busy require hands-free hydration. 97 00:05:05,460 --> 00:05:08,128 Dwight Schrute, star salesman, beet farmer. 98 00:05:08,195 --> 00:05:09,629 Bed and breakfast proprietor. 99 00:05:09,696 --> 00:05:11,397 Aspiring freelance bodyguard. 100 00:05:11,464 --> 00:05:15,333 Add to that list owner of this building. 101 00:05:15,401 --> 00:05:19,536 Then burn the list. 102 00:05:19,604 --> 00:05:21,304 - This summer I did the minority 103 00:05:21,372 --> 00:05:23,406 Executive training program at Yale. 104 00:05:23,474 --> 00:05:25,174 You guys, I'm, like, really smart now. 105 00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:26,909 You don't even know. You could ask me, 106 00:05:26,977 --> 00:05:29,010 "Kelly, what's the biggest company in the world?" 107 00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:31,145 And I'd be, like, "blah blah blah, 108 00:05:31,213 --> 00:05:32,746 Blah blah blah blah blah blah," 109 00:05:32,814 --> 00:05:35,315 Giving you the exact right answer. 110 00:05:35,382 --> 00:05:36,816 - Coffee monkey's arrived. 111 00:05:36,884 --> 00:05:39,419 - The coffee was supposed to be here at 9:00. 112 00:05:39,487 --> 00:05:41,688 - Here you go, big "o." 113 00:05:43,523 --> 00:05:45,957 Tiny... 114 00:05:46,025 --> 00:05:48,126 Darryl Hannah. 115 00:05:48,193 --> 00:05:52,295 - It says "decaf." you get me decaf? 116 00:05:52,363 --> 00:05:54,830 - Ooh, yeah. 117 00:05:54,898 --> 00:05:58,600 Must have been some sort of mix-up there. 118 00:05:58,668 --> 00:06:00,001 You could just drink it, 119 00:06:00,069 --> 00:06:02,304 Or should I drive all the way back? 120 00:06:07,176 --> 00:06:08,509 - Well, summer, I, um, 121 00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,343 Blew out my knee playing softball. 122 00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:12,678 Ended up watching CNN most of the time. 123 00:06:12,746 --> 00:06:19,588 I don't know how we're gonna get out of Afghanistan. 124 00:06:19,656 --> 00:06:22,336 - The new guy sucks. Calls me "the nard man." 125 00:06:22,404 --> 00:06:24,001 I'm the "nard dog," okay? 126 00:06:24,069 --> 00:06:25,896 Nard man is my father. 127 00:06:25,964 --> 00:06:27,891 - My name is Luke Cooper. 128 00:06:27,959 --> 00:06:29,820 I love cinema. 129 00:06:29,887 --> 00:06:31,648 My favorite movies are citizen Kane 130 00:06:31,716 --> 00:06:33,544 And the boondock saints. 131 00:06:33,612 --> 00:06:37,668 - That kid is the worst. Needs to be fired, Michael. 132 00:06:37,736 --> 00:06:40,561 - He's not the worst. Okay? He's not the worst. 133 00:06:40,629 --> 00:06:41,592 You know who's the worst? 134 00:06:41,660 --> 00:06:43,287 That intern we had a few years ago. 135 00:06:43,354 --> 00:06:44,985 That guy... remember? 136 00:06:45,053 --> 00:06:47,311 Eehhhhh! That face, how ugly he was? 137 00:06:47,378 --> 00:06:49,973 He was the worst. Good worker, though. 138 00:06:50,041 --> 00:06:52,999 Mm... aw, it's not cappuccino. 139 00:06:53,067 --> 00:06:55,361 - He messed yours up to. - He's got to go, Mike. 140 00:06:55,428 --> 00:06:57,060 - It's just coffee, guys. 141 00:06:57,124 --> 00:06:59,252 But yeah, I'll look into it, okay? 142 00:07:01,081 --> 00:07:03,676 - Wow, that's a lot of keys. 143 00:07:03,744 --> 00:07:06,302 - The bigger the key chain, the more powerful the man. 144 00:07:06,370 --> 00:07:08,164 - That's right. The janitor said that. 145 00:07:08,232 --> 00:07:09,596 By the way, the raccoons are back. 146 00:07:09,664 --> 00:07:10,694 - Where? 147 00:07:10,761 --> 00:07:12,489 - I think they run through these panels 148 00:07:12,556 --> 00:07:13,820 And then down under the map. 149 00:07:13,888 --> 00:07:14,985 I wouldn't know for sure 150 00:07:15,050 --> 00:07:16,181 'cause I don't have a trained ear. 151 00:07:16,249 --> 00:07:18,845 That's why I have to use one of these. 152 00:07:18,913 --> 00:07:20,574 - Gimme that. - Yep. 153 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,536 Wait. And this. 154 00:07:22,604 --> 00:07:24,798 - Yes. - Go get 'em. 155 00:07:24,866 --> 00:07:26,360 What happened to me this summer? 156 00:07:26,428 --> 00:07:29,820 Dwight bought the building, so actually, this has been 157 00:07:29,888 --> 00:07:31,815 The busiest summer of my life. 158 00:07:44,885 --> 00:07:48,241 - Hey, what's so funny over here? 159 00:07:48,309 --> 00:07:51,602 Ha, very nice. Give me my keys. 160 00:07:58,884 --> 00:08:01,578 Not...Funny...Jim! 161 00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,101 - Sorry. 162 00:08:05,169 --> 00:08:06,399 - Oh, no. Don't worry about it. 163 00:08:06,467 --> 00:08:08,026 I'm just gonna put a couple keys on every day 164 00:08:08,094 --> 00:08:09,357 Until Christmas. 165 00:08:09,425 --> 00:08:11,185 Then his pants would have fallen down, which was... 166 00:08:11,253 --> 00:08:12,450 A little gift to me, but... 167 00:08:12,517 --> 00:08:13,911 - It was really funny. 168 00:08:13,978 --> 00:08:16,573 - Well, it would have been. 169 00:08:16,641 --> 00:08:18,168 So unprofessional, Mrs. Halpert. 170 00:08:20,531 --> 00:08:22,058 - I love you. 171 00:08:24,388 --> 00:08:26,482 - Luke... 172 00:08:26,550 --> 00:08:28,411 Luke! 173 00:08:28,478 --> 00:08:29,742 - What's up, Venus? 174 00:08:29,807 --> 00:08:31,768 - Did you send those samples to Justin 175 00:08:31,835 --> 00:08:32,899 At Lehigh motors yesterday? 176 00:08:32,966 --> 00:08:34,330 Because he didn't get 'em. 177 00:08:34,398 --> 00:08:37,786 - Uh, if you asked me to do it, I'm sure I did it. 178 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,615 Yeah, strawberries are ripe. 179 00:08:40,683 --> 00:08:41,943 - Hey... 180 00:08:42,010 --> 00:08:45,035 Turn off the chumbawamba and scram, twerp. 181 00:08:45,103 --> 00:08:46,233 - You don't have to yell. 182 00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:48,296 - Okay, rude. 183 00:08:48,363 --> 00:08:50,424 Luke... 184 00:08:50,492 --> 00:08:53,183 I want you to go to the supermarket for me. 185 00:08:53,251 --> 00:08:54,448 - What for? 186 00:08:54,515 --> 00:08:56,076 - To get some ice cream for everybody. 187 00:08:56,144 --> 00:08:59,036 It's national ice cream afternoon. 188 00:08:59,104 --> 00:09:01,366 Great. 189 00:09:01,433 --> 00:09:04,459 And another thing I did this summer. 190 00:09:04,527 --> 00:09:07,519 I hired my nephew. 191 00:09:11,373 --> 00:09:12,574 - Having Luke here is a pretty big deal for me. 192 00:09:12,641 --> 00:09:14,408 Because his mother, 193 00:09:14,476 --> 00:09:17,544 Who also happens to be my half sister... 194 00:09:17,611 --> 00:09:19,612 Kind of cut me off from that side of the family 195 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:21,380 15 years a... 196 00:09:21,447 --> 00:09:23,081 14. 197 00:09:23,149 --> 00:09:25,082 The last time I saw Luke 198 00:09:25,150 --> 00:09:27,184 Was the opening day of ace Ventura II, 199 00:09:27,252 --> 00:09:28,752 And that was '95. 200 00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:34,359 So, yes, 15 years on the dot. 201 00:09:34,426 --> 00:09:37,295 Anyway, I lost him in a forest. 202 00:09:37,363 --> 00:09:39,431 Don't bother Luke. 203 00:09:39,499 --> 00:09:41,500 - Why is there a circle with a line through it? 204 00:09:41,567 --> 00:09:42,801 - That means don't. 205 00:09:42,869 --> 00:09:44,436 Haven't you seen ghostbusters, Pam? 206 00:09:44,504 --> 00:09:47,406 - Yeah, but it's like you're saying we should bother Luke. 207 00:09:47,473 --> 00:09:49,842 - No, it... 208 00:09:49,909 --> 00:09:51,577 Yes, okay. Right. 209 00:09:51,644 --> 00:09:53,578 All right, yep. My bad. 210 00:09:53,646 --> 00:09:55,814 I got it. 211 00:09:55,881 --> 00:09:59,117 Here we go. 212 00:09:59,184 --> 00:10:00,752 - Don't don't bother Luke. 213 00:10:00,819 --> 00:10:01,786 Got it. 214 00:10:02,888 --> 00:10:04,889 Come on. Okay. Um... 215 00:10:08,824 --> 00:10:11,025 That's as clear as I can make it. 216 00:10:11,092 --> 00:10:12,092 - Hey, why can't we bother Luke? 217 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,694 He deserves it. 218 00:10:13,761 --> 00:10:14,761 - Because I don't want it getting back to sabre 219 00:10:14,828 --> 00:10:15,928 That we're yelling at assistants. 220 00:10:15,995 --> 00:10:17,462 I think it would reflect poorly on us. 221 00:10:17,530 --> 00:10:19,363 - Who's gonna tell on us? Gabe? 222 00:10:20,465 --> 00:10:21,933 - That'd be hilarious. 223 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,768 Uh, "Joe, they're creating a hostile work environment. 224 00:10:23,836 --> 00:10:25,470 Stop 'em." 225 00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:26,671 - Nope, it won't be Gabe, 226 00:10:26,739 --> 00:10:28,507 But actually, there is somebody in the office 227 00:10:28,574 --> 00:10:29,975 Who is very, very close to Luke. 228 00:10:30,042 --> 00:10:31,343 - How close? 229 00:10:31,410 --> 00:10:32,377 - Well, Dwight, he wiped his butt. 230 00:10:32,445 --> 00:10:34,011 Is that close enough for you? 231 00:10:35,379 --> 00:10:37,045 - Yes. Of course. 232 00:10:37,113 --> 00:10:39,814 - Guys, I think Michael and Luke are related. 233 00:10:39,882 --> 00:10:40,815 - No. 234 00:10:40,883 --> 00:10:43,817 No, Toby. He's not. 235 00:10:43,885 --> 00:10:44,852 Yes, he is. 236 00:10:44,919 --> 00:10:46,319 He's my nephew. 237 00:10:46,387 --> 00:10:47,787 - What? - Ohh! 238 00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:49,222 - Luke is my nephew. 239 00:10:49,290 --> 00:10:50,490 - Michael, that's nepotism. 240 00:10:50,558 --> 00:10:51,524 Luke is getting special treatment 241 00:10:51,592 --> 00:10:52,692 Because he's your nephew. 242 00:10:52,759 --> 00:10:53,959 - Yes, exactly. 243 00:10:54,027 --> 00:10:55,794 That is a very nice way of putting it, Oscar. 244 00:10:55,862 --> 00:10:59,697 Mixing family and business is a beautiful thing. 245 00:10:59,764 --> 00:11:01,498 - What's wrong with a level playing field? 246 00:11:01,566 --> 00:11:03,934 - Do think they should have had open auditions 247 00:11:04,001 --> 00:11:05,502 For the band Hanson? 248 00:11:05,570 --> 00:11:08,371 What if no one named Hanson showed up? 249 00:11:08,438 --> 00:11:09,739 That wouldn't even make sense. 250 00:11:09,807 --> 00:11:12,741 Or what if they just hired the littlest kid 251 00:11:12,809 --> 00:11:17,979 And a 50-year-old guy who was a murderer? 252 00:11:18,047 --> 00:11:19,080 Really safe. 253 00:11:19,148 --> 00:11:21,515 - Oh, man, so many points being made. 254 00:11:21,583 --> 00:11:23,483 - I couldn't care less about nepotism. 255 00:11:23,551 --> 00:11:25,952 But I'm loving the debate. 256 00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:27,954 Great minds battling it out. 257 00:11:28,022 --> 00:11:30,156 And I've got a front row seat. 258 00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,391 - God, when he needed help on earth, 259 00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:33,392 Who did he hire? 260 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,893 Jesus Christ, his son. 261 00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:36,329 - That's a really tight argument. 262 00:11:36,397 --> 00:11:37,730 - Thank you. - Yeah. 263 00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:40,165 - But you're comparing you and Luke to God and Jesus. 264 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,533 - No! No. 265 00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:42,701 I'm just saying, why does God 266 00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,168 Get to do something that I don't? 267 00:11:44,236 --> 00:11:45,737 - This is hypothetical. 268 00:11:45,804 --> 00:11:48,206 We're talking about Luke, who happens to be terrible. 269 00:11:48,273 --> 00:11:49,440 - Well, then, why aren't you bugging me 270 00:11:49,508 --> 00:11:50,674 To fire everybody who's bad? 271 00:11:50,742 --> 00:11:52,142 You just want me to fire Luke. 272 00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:53,510 That's reverse nepotism. 273 00:11:53,578 --> 00:11:56,747 He should not be punished because he is related to me 274 00:11:56,814 --> 00:11:58,181 And bad at what he does! 275 00:11:58,249 --> 00:11:59,582 - I would just like to say something 276 00:11:59,650 --> 00:12:01,784 Off of what Darryl said about the level playing field. 277 00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:04,885 That is actually a zoning issue. 278 00:12:07,655 --> 00:12:10,223 So thank you. 279 00:12:10,290 --> 00:12:12,258 - If there's nothing wrong with this, Michael, 280 00:12:12,325 --> 00:12:13,626 Why have you been keeping it a secret? 281 00:12:13,693 --> 00:12:16,195 - Because I wanted you to come to me and say, 282 00:12:16,262 --> 00:12:18,129 "wow, he is so great." 283 00:12:18,197 --> 00:12:20,598 And I was gonna say, "well, it's in the genes." 284 00:12:20,666 --> 00:12:23,100 And I was actually gonna be wearing jeans. 285 00:12:23,168 --> 00:12:24,634 And I'd point to them... right? No. 286 00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:25,869 But you ruined it. 287 00:12:25,937 --> 00:12:27,771 So...Thank you very much. 288 00:12:27,839 --> 00:12:30,273 Here he comes. Guys, look. 289 00:12:30,341 --> 00:12:32,942 I don't want you to treat him 290 00:12:33,010 --> 00:12:34,477 Like anyone else in the office. 291 00:12:34,544 --> 00:12:36,812 I just want you to treat him like my nephew. 292 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,113 Hey, there he is! 293 00:12:38,180 --> 00:12:39,947 - Hey! Ice cream afternoon! 294 00:12:40,015 --> 00:12:41,448 - Whoo Whoo Whoo! - Whoo! 295 00:12:41,516 --> 00:12:43,417 - Wait... 296 00:12:43,485 --> 00:12:44,617 Soy ice cream? 297 00:12:44,685 --> 00:12:46,652 Did you get real ice cream? 298 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:48,053 - Or enough for everyone? 299 00:12:48,121 --> 00:12:49,754 - No, man. There was no list. 300 00:12:49,822 --> 00:12:51,890 Uh...But I got bagel chips. 301 00:12:51,957 --> 00:12:53,658 - Ah, my favorite part of an ice cream party. 302 00:12:53,726 --> 00:12:55,626 The bagel chips. 303 00:12:55,694 --> 00:12:57,328 - Clutch cream run, bro. 304 00:13:01,533 --> 00:13:03,100 - Get whatever you want. On me. 305 00:13:03,168 --> 00:13:05,668 - You really think you can make it up to me with food? 306 00:13:05,736 --> 00:13:07,469 - I don't know. That usually works. 307 00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:10,571 I feel horrible for blowing Jim's prank. 308 00:13:10,639 --> 00:13:12,907 I don't know if you can tell, but he's mildly upset. 309 00:13:12,974 --> 00:13:14,975 And Dwight hasn't been messed with in a while, 310 00:13:15,043 --> 00:13:17,010 So he's become a monster. 311 00:13:17,078 --> 00:13:18,845 I need to make this right. 312 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:29,187 - I came down here to feed the feral cats 313 00:13:29,254 --> 00:13:30,488 Like I usually do, 314 00:13:30,555 --> 00:13:31,655 And I found something unsavory 315 00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:32,856 In the back of your nephew's car. 316 00:13:32,923 --> 00:13:33,857 - Okay, you know what? 317 00:13:33,924 --> 00:13:34,924 Just... just back off. 318 00:13:34,991 --> 00:13:35,992 Back off! 319 00:13:36,059 --> 00:13:37,426 - Well, take a look. 320 00:13:37,494 --> 00:13:39,161 It's all the packages he was supposed to overnight. 321 00:13:39,229 --> 00:13:41,296 He never bothered to send them. 322 00:13:41,364 --> 00:13:44,465 - All right, those might be his. 323 00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:45,933 He might own an ebay store. 324 00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:48,134 - Yep. That's exactly what my first thought was. 325 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:49,469 And then I remembered having a conversation with him 326 00:13:49,536 --> 00:13:50,870 Where he was like, "I don't own an ebay store." 327 00:13:50,937 --> 00:13:52,471 So... - Okay, okay. 328 00:13:52,538 --> 00:13:53,505 You know what? This is disgusting. 329 00:13:53,573 --> 00:13:55,005 This is like a witch hunt. 330 00:13:55,073 --> 00:13:57,140 This is like the Blair witch hunt project. 331 00:13:57,208 --> 00:13:58,675 - Oh, sure, those are the expense reports 332 00:13:58,742 --> 00:14:00,542 That corporate was waiting for yesterday. 333 00:14:00,610 --> 00:14:02,878 - Let's just make this kid open this damn car. 334 00:14:02,946 --> 00:14:03,946 - Oh, my gosh, those are the pants 335 00:14:04,014 --> 00:14:05,181 He wanted to return to talbots. 336 00:14:05,249 --> 00:14:07,317 - I'm reconsidering sending him back anyway. 337 00:14:07,385 --> 00:14:09,852 - You get that kid to open this car, 338 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,787 Or I'm gonna do it myself... 339 00:14:11,855 --> 00:14:13,456 by calling AAA. 340 00:14:13,523 --> 00:14:14,891 - Wait a minute. - I'm in! 341 00:14:14,958 --> 00:14:16,792 - Don't... all right. 342 00:14:16,860 --> 00:14:18,861 Well, okay. 343 00:14:18,929 --> 00:14:20,963 You've just committed a felony. 344 00:14:21,030 --> 00:14:21,997 - Yep, here they are. 345 00:14:22,065 --> 00:14:23,532 - Yep, I just lost a client 346 00:14:23,599 --> 00:14:25,667 'cause I swore I sent these samples on time. 347 00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:26,868 - This kid's costing us sales, Michael. 348 00:14:28,470 --> 00:14:30,537 - I'm sorry, do you want to try them on again to see... 349 00:14:30,605 --> 00:14:31,704 - No, I know they fit. 350 00:14:31,772 --> 00:14:33,272 It's not about the fit. 351 00:14:36,946 --> 00:14:38,379 - Why is this my problem, Michael? 352 00:14:38,447 --> 00:14:40,114 - Because Gabe tattled. 353 00:14:40,181 --> 00:14:41,114 I was perfectly happy 354 00:14:41,182 --> 00:14:42,615 To just hide it from you. 355 00:14:42,683 --> 00:14:44,483 - Those overnight packages needed to go out, 356 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,484 And Michael refuses to hold the guilty party accountable. 357 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:47,985 - Lower yourself, Gabe. 358 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:50,722 I don't wanna be having a conversation with your crotch. 359 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,694 Okay, now educate me why you won't fire the boy. 360 00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,328 - You don't have all the facts. 361 00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,864 - Which are? - I love him. 362 00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:02,232 - Oh, God. 363 00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,667 How far has it gone? 364 00:15:04,735 --> 00:15:05,901 - No. No. 365 00:15:05,969 --> 00:15:07,269 He's my nephew. 366 00:15:07,337 --> 00:15:08,403 - Well, I got a nephew too. 367 00:15:08,471 --> 00:15:10,138 But he don't work for me. 368 00:15:10,206 --> 00:15:11,139 You know why? 369 00:15:11,207 --> 00:15:12,841 'cause he's a screw-up. 370 00:15:12,908 --> 00:15:15,409 He can swim in my pool, but he can't come in my house. 371 00:15:15,477 --> 00:15:17,745 - Well, this office is my pool. 372 00:15:17,812 --> 00:15:19,179 And my house is my house. 373 00:15:19,247 --> 00:15:21,615 And I just want my nephew to work 374 00:15:21,683 --> 00:15:22,683 In my pool. 375 00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:24,117 - If you keep him, Michael, 376 00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:25,751 I'm gonna hold you accountable for him. 377 00:15:25,819 --> 00:15:26,952 You're on the hook for this kid. 378 00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:28,187 You got that? - Mm-hmm. 379 00:15:28,255 --> 00:15:30,189 - Cover his ass like tidy whities. 380 00:15:30,257 --> 00:15:33,259 - I will cover his ass like moss on Mississippi tree stump. 381 00:15:33,326 --> 00:15:35,392 - Was how I put it on clear enough? 382 00:15:35,460 --> 00:15:37,594 I mean, you had to go and make up your own saying? 383 00:15:37,662 --> 00:15:40,063 Deal with it, boys. 384 00:15:42,495 --> 00:15:45,159 - Luke and I have been working side by side 385 00:15:45,227 --> 00:15:47,291 As master and commander. 386 00:15:47,359 --> 00:15:48,958 Me as master, he as commander. 387 00:15:49,026 --> 00:15:50,925 Occasionally, he'll need a little push. 388 00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:54,062 And I will do that, and he'll slow down, 389 00:15:54,129 --> 00:15:55,560 And then I'll push him again. 390 00:15:55,628 --> 00:15:56,660 That's the thing with kids. 391 00:15:56,727 --> 00:15:57,960 You have to keep pushing. 392 00:15:58,027 --> 00:15:59,826 You have to push them until they push you back. 393 00:15:59,894 --> 00:16:01,559 And then you push some more. 394 00:16:01,626 --> 00:16:02,793 It's all about give and take, 395 00:16:02,860 --> 00:16:05,493 But mostly it's about pushing each other. 396 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,659 - Oh, yeah. 397 00:16:07,727 --> 00:16:09,425 This will be easy. 398 00:16:09,493 --> 00:16:11,992 So just, like, rearrange the buttons and stuff. 399 00:16:12,059 --> 00:16:13,058 - Yeah, yeah. 400 00:16:13,124 --> 00:16:14,323 Like when he presses "door closed," 401 00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:15,523 The doors open. 402 00:16:15,591 --> 00:16:16,723 Or he presses "lobby," it goes to third floor. 403 00:16:16,790 --> 00:16:18,155 Stuff like that. Can you do that? 404 00:16:18,222 --> 00:16:21,488 - Yeah. Let me take a look at the circus board. 405 00:16:21,556 --> 00:16:25,386 - Dwight is about to get so pammed. 406 00:16:25,454 --> 00:16:27,586 - Hey, did you sms text message me? 407 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,386 - Yeah, I wanted to show you something in the lobby. 408 00:16:29,454 --> 00:16:31,285 Uh, come on. 409 00:16:35,718 --> 00:16:38,050 - Okay, that's weird. - Hmm. 410 00:16:38,116 --> 00:16:39,749 - Just hitting "door closed." what? 411 00:16:39,817 --> 00:16:41,248 - There we go. - Well... 412 00:16:41,315 --> 00:16:43,213 - Uh... - is this elevator going up? 413 00:16:43,281 --> 00:16:44,347 - Mm-hmm. 414 00:16:44,414 --> 00:16:48,312 - Hey...The elevator is disobeying us! 415 00:16:49,879 --> 00:16:50,978 Ohh-Kay. Okay. 416 00:16:51,046 --> 00:16:52,612 We are stuck. We are stuck. 417 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,110 - Um... - Hank! Hank! 418 00:16:54,178 --> 00:16:55,911 Can you hear us? 419 00:16:55,979 --> 00:16:56,944 Oh, my God. Okay. 420 00:16:57,012 --> 00:16:58,643 Emergency protocol. 421 00:16:58,711 --> 00:16:59,943 - Oh... - Just calm down. 422 00:17:00,011 --> 00:17:02,475 - Pam, try and pry open those front doors, immediately. 423 00:17:02,542 --> 00:17:04,441 - I don't... - use your talons! 424 00:17:04,509 --> 00:17:05,541 Pry 'em open! 425 00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:07,407 Okay, DWI... oh, my God! 426 00:17:07,475 --> 00:17:08,807 - Well, don't look, freak! 427 00:17:08,875 --> 00:17:10,039 - Dwight, what are you doing?! 428 00:17:10,106 --> 00:17:11,372 - Well... 429 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:12,806 - We've only been in here for, like, two seconds! 430 00:17:12,874 --> 00:17:14,338 - I got 56 ounces of fluid in my bladder! 431 00:17:14,406 --> 00:17:16,737 And we have to establish a pee corner. 432 00:17:16,805 --> 00:17:18,904 - You've gotta be kidding me. 433 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:21,036 - Luke, is going to use his laser pointer 434 00:17:21,103 --> 00:17:23,302 To point to account setup. 435 00:17:23,369 --> 00:17:24,535 You click on that first, 436 00:17:24,603 --> 00:17:26,301 Then a whole new... not... no, no, no. 437 00:17:26,369 --> 00:17:27,801 Luke, come on. Come on. 438 00:17:27,869 --> 00:17:29,199 Not on Oscar's head. 439 00:17:29,267 --> 00:17:30,867 - Tsh. - All right. 440 00:17:30,934 --> 00:17:32,232 Luke, come on. 441 00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:33,565 Stop it. - What? I'm stopping it. 442 00:17:33,633 --> 00:17:34,631 That's what you said. 443 00:17:34,699 --> 00:17:36,698 - Give me the pointer. 444 00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:37,798 - So you just want me to move it. 445 00:17:37,866 --> 00:17:39,298 You're being totally unclear here. 446 00:17:39,365 --> 00:17:40,765 I'm just gonna go ahead and move it. 447 00:17:40,833 --> 00:17:42,131 - No, just power it down. No, no, no, no, no. 448 00:17:42,199 --> 00:17:43,865 Not on Angela's boob. Come on. Come on. 449 00:17:43,933 --> 00:17:46,030 Luke, seriously. - All right, fine, fine. 450 00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,897 I'll just go. - Okay. 451 00:17:47,965 --> 00:17:50,030 - I'm gone. - All right. Okay. 452 00:17:50,097 --> 00:17:51,463 Good job. 453 00:17:51,531 --> 00:17:53,295 Okay, email accounts. 454 00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:54,528 So we're starting with account setup. 455 00:17:54,596 --> 00:17:56,594 - Oh, my God, is it in my eyeball? 456 00:17:56,661 --> 00:17:58,358 - Yes. - I think he's burning my eye. 457 00:17:58,426 --> 00:17:59,757 - Michael, do something. 458 00:17:59,825 --> 00:18:00,957 - Sack up, man. 459 00:18:01,024 --> 00:18:02,700 - Okay, can I have that? - No. 460 00:18:02,768 --> 00:18:05,911 - Okay, I am going to count down from five. 461 00:18:05,979 --> 00:18:07,078 Five 462 00:18:07,146 --> 00:18:08,112 Four. 463 00:18:08,180 --> 00:18:09,647 - I'm not kidding. 464 00:18:09,715 --> 00:18:10,783 Three. 465 00:18:10,851 --> 00:18:13,253 Two. One. - Give... okay. 466 00:18:13,321 --> 00:18:15,054 - All right, give it up. - No! 467 00:18:15,122 --> 00:18:18,991 You...Are going to learn to be more professional, Luke! 468 00:18:19,059 --> 00:18:20,259 - What the... 469 00:18:20,326 --> 00:18:21,660 - That's what you're going to do, Luke! 470 00:18:21,728 --> 00:18:24,161 - Aah! What the hell was that? 471 00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:26,063 - I had to do that. 472 00:18:27,632 --> 00:18:29,599 - Hey, fuck this! 473 00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:31,167 Screw it! - All right. Are we good? 474 00:18:33,069 --> 00:18:35,336 - You're okay. 475 00:18:35,404 --> 00:18:37,505 He's okay. 476 00:18:39,707 --> 00:18:41,441 There are many different schools of thought 477 00:18:41,508 --> 00:18:44,107 On capital punishment. 478 00:18:44,175 --> 00:18:45,909 - That was awesome. 479 00:18:45,976 --> 00:18:48,177 - Texas justice. 480 00:18:48,245 --> 00:18:50,345 - Yeah, your nephew is so lame. 481 00:18:50,413 --> 00:18:53,045 - He's been trashing us relentlessly on Twitter. 482 00:18:53,113 --> 00:18:55,447 Yeah, it's funny stuff, but mean. 483 00:18:55,515 --> 00:18:57,782 - You follow him on Twitter? 484 00:18:57,849 --> 00:18:59,249 - Everywhere I look, it's Betty white this 485 00:18:59,317 --> 00:19:00,617 And Betty white that. 486 00:19:00,684 --> 00:19:03,386 Finally, a kid who's not talking about Betty white. 487 00:19:03,454 --> 00:19:05,121 Of course I follow him. 488 00:19:05,189 --> 00:19:06,289 - Michael... 489 00:19:06,357 --> 00:19:08,391 You just physically assaulted an employee. 490 00:19:08,459 --> 00:19:09,959 Can we talk in private? 491 00:19:10,026 --> 00:19:11,527 Yes, of course. 492 00:19:11,595 --> 00:19:14,063 What is this in reference to? 493 00:19:16,699 --> 00:19:17,666 - Pam? 494 00:19:17,733 --> 00:19:19,501 - Oh, hey, Jim. 495 00:19:19,568 --> 00:19:22,604 Some prankster switched the elevator buttons on Dwight. 496 00:19:22,672 --> 00:19:24,038 - I did not do this. 497 00:19:24,106 --> 00:19:25,340 - I know. 498 00:19:28,878 --> 00:19:31,445 Yeah, and it was going really great at first. 499 00:19:31,513 --> 00:19:33,280 I got video. 500 00:19:33,348 --> 00:19:34,715 - This is impressive. 501 00:19:34,783 --> 00:19:36,350 - Well, you know... They don't call me 502 00:19:36,417 --> 00:19:38,217 The Bart Simpson of Scranton for nothing. 503 00:19:38,285 --> 00:19:41,121 - Do they call you that? - They do call me that. 504 00:19:41,189 --> 00:19:42,122 - Come on, give me your hand. 505 00:19:42,190 --> 00:19:43,690 I'll help you down. - Nope. 506 00:19:43,758 --> 00:19:44,891 Scared of getting cut in half. 507 00:19:44,959 --> 00:19:46,225 Also, there's pee on the floor. 508 00:19:46,293 --> 00:19:49,061 - Oh! Course there is. 509 00:19:49,129 --> 00:19:50,395 Hey, Chinese tonight? 510 00:19:50,463 --> 00:19:52,129 - Yeah. - Great. 511 00:19:52,197 --> 00:19:54,165 - How ya doin'? 512 00:19:54,233 --> 00:19:55,700 - Pretty good. 513 00:19:55,768 --> 00:19:57,001 You must be almost out of water. 514 00:19:57,068 --> 00:20:00,069 - Stop drinking the water! 515 00:20:00,137 --> 00:20:02,271 Stop! 516 00:20:02,339 --> 00:20:03,272 - Yeah. 517 00:20:03,339 --> 00:20:05,307 - Oh! - You... 518 00:20:05,374 --> 00:20:07,008 - No, no, no, no. It's the other hand, right hand. 519 00:20:07,076 --> 00:20:08,176 - Right hand? - Yeah. 520 00:20:08,244 --> 00:20:09,544 - Would have been nice to work with my family. 521 00:20:09,611 --> 00:20:11,445 It would have been nice 522 00:20:11,513 --> 00:20:14,147 If Luke had been able to stay here. 523 00:20:14,215 --> 00:20:15,182 But he couldn't. 524 00:20:15,249 --> 00:20:17,551 These things seldom work out. 525 00:20:17,618 --> 00:20:19,887 I don't know how Ringling brothers do it. 526 00:20:19,955 --> 00:20:21,522 Night after night, town after town, 527 00:20:21,589 --> 00:20:23,022 All across America. 528 00:20:23,090 --> 00:20:24,957 You would think they'd be sick of each other by now. 529 00:20:25,025 --> 00:20:27,192 But, clearly, 530 00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:28,527 They make it work. 531 00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:30,028 And my hat's off to them. 532 00:20:31,863 --> 00:20:33,464 - Argh! - Whoa! Whoa! Hey. Whoa. 533 00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:34,899 - You... - hey... 534 00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,567 - Dwight... - Dwight... 535 00:20:38,536 --> 00:20:39,703 - Stop! 536 00:20:41,806 --> 00:20:43,238 - Legal says the best way to protect us from a lawsuit 537 00:20:43,306 --> 00:20:45,405 Is to call this a stress-induced outburst. 538 00:20:47,308 --> 00:20:49,776 - You will have to undergo six sessions of counseling. 539 00:20:49,843 --> 00:20:52,678 - That's it? Really? 540 00:20:52,746 --> 00:20:54,780 That's nothing. All right. 541 00:20:54,847 --> 00:20:56,214 That's highway robbery. 542 00:20:56,282 --> 00:20:56,748 Good. 543 00:20:56,749 --> 00:20:57,749 Well, thats the spirit. 544 00:20:57,750 --> 00:20:58,750 I can do that. 545 00:20:58,751 --> 00:21:01,344 And you will do your counseling right here 546 00:21:01,740 --> 00:21:03,740 because 547 00:21:03,924 --> 00:21:06,428 Okay. Wait, what? 548 00:21:07,620 --> 00:21:10,236 Yeah, I'm really looking forward to work with you, Michael. 549 00:21:12,644 --> 00:21:14,004 Is there another option? 550 00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:17,140 Don't try to do this termination. 551 00:21:23,428 --> 00:21:24,108 Michael? 552 00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:27,372 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net