1 00:00:04,869 --> 00:00:09,971 Hola. Hola. Necesito UN buen worker. 2 00:00:10,306 --> 00:00:11,935 Tú es fuerte. Come on. 3 00:00:12,002 --> 00:00:13,670 ¿que? 4 00:00:13,737 --> 00:00:16,172 ¿que? 5 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:17,773 No vamos con ESE senor. 6 00:00:17,841 --> 00:00:19,408 Lo he visto saliendo con muchos otros, 7 00:00:19,475 --> 00:00:21,675 Y no vuelven nadie. We don't go with that man. 8 00:00:21,743 --> 00:00:24,355 I've seen several men go with that man and not come back. 9 00:00:24,456 --> 00:00:26,558 - He perdido amigos... - We've lost friends... 10 00:00:26,626 --> 00:00:28,017 No Se lo Que hace con ellos. 11 00:00:28,084 --> 00:00:30,431 We don't know what he does with them. 12 00:00:30,499 --> 00:00:31,804 No quiero decir mas. 13 00:00:31,871 --> 00:00:34,515 I don't wanna talk about it anymore. 14 00:00:34,583 --> 00:00:36,021 I pick up day laborers 15 00:00:36,088 --> 00:00:38,181 And tell them that they'll get paid at 6:00 P.M. 16 00:00:38,249 --> 00:00:41,011 At 5:45, a certain I.N.S. Agent 17 00:00:41,077 --> 00:00:42,309 By the name of Mose Schrute 18 00:00:42,377 --> 00:00:44,241 Throws them in the back of a van, 19 00:00:44,308 --> 00:00:46,272 Drops them off in the middle of Harrisburg, 20 00:00:46,340 --> 00:00:48,440 And tells them it's Canada. 21 00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:50,674 - Hola, amigo. - Hola. 22 00:00:50,742 --> 00:00:53,913 Tú es UN bueno worker? Si. Yo muy bueno worker. 23 00:00:53,981 --> 00:00:56,651 Y el acento... Dónde are you from? 24 00:00:56,719 --> 00:00:58,021 Scranton. 25 00:00:58,089 --> 00:01:00,892 Y... Before that, la Philadelphia. 26 00:01:00,959 --> 00:01:03,223 - You speak English? - Yes. 27 00:01:03,290 --> 00:01:04,858 I'm really good at English. Okay, good, me too. 28 00:01:04,926 --> 00:01:06,726 Get in the car. Okay. 29 00:01:08,094 --> 00:01:10,332 Who is this guy by our cars? 30 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:11,967 That is my new maintenance worker Nate, 31 00:01:12,034 --> 00:01:14,102 And you'll be happy to know that he's taking care of 32 00:01:14,170 --> 00:01:16,137 That hornet's nest that you've been griping about. 33 00:01:16,205 --> 00:01:18,073 Yeah. I got stung up my dress. 34 00:01:18,141 --> 00:01:19,375 Poor hornet. 35 00:01:19,443 --> 00:01:20,977 I left him all the tools he needs. 36 00:01:21,044 --> 00:01:22,377 This is do or die. 37 00:01:22,444 --> 00:01:24,979 If he chooses correctly, he conquer the hornets. 38 00:01:25,046 --> 00:01:26,914 And if he doesn't? 39 00:01:26,981 --> 00:01:28,515 He'll die. 40 00:01:28,582 --> 00:01:30,050 - What? - Uh, beg your pardon? 41 00:01:30,118 --> 00:01:32,185 When did the phrase "do or die" become so corrupted? 42 00:01:32,253 --> 00:01:34,020 - Is that a blowtorch? - No. 43 00:01:34,088 --> 00:01:36,655 No, no, no! No, no! 44 00:01:36,723 --> 00:01:38,156 Interesting choice. 45 00:01:38,224 --> 00:01:40,859 Oh...Yes. 46 00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:42,527 - Very, very smart. - Walking away. 47 00:01:42,595 --> 00:01:45,163 - No! No, no, no! - The bat. 48 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:46,397 Oh, they're stinging him! 49 00:01:46,465 --> 00:01:50,835 - No, no, no! - No, no! 50 00:01:57,972 --> 00:02:01,913 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 51 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,294 Good morning, Erin. Any moustaches... I mean messages? 52 00:02:17,362 --> 00:02:18,762 Terrific. 53 00:02:20,131 --> 00:02:21,497 There are many reasons 54 00:02:21,565 --> 00:02:23,933 A man would wear a fake moustache to work. 55 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,601 He is a fan... 56 00:02:25,668 --> 00:02:27,035 Of the outrageous. 57 00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:28,469 He loves to... 58 00:02:28,537 --> 00:02:30,405 Surprise! 59 00:02:30,472 --> 00:02:34,142 He loves... Other things as well. 60 00:02:42,284 --> 00:02:44,218 It's a pimple, Phyllis. 61 00:02:44,286 --> 00:02:45,986 Avril Lavigne gets them all the time, 62 00:02:46,054 --> 00:02:47,955 And she rocks harder than anyone alive. 63 00:02:48,023 --> 00:02:50,124 Uh, that's no pimple, Michael. 64 00:02:50,192 --> 00:02:51,792 You mean cancer? 65 00:02:51,860 --> 00:02:54,091 What? No way. No. Definitely not... not cancer. 66 00:02:54,159 --> 00:02:56,293 It's just good to catch a Michael train of thought early 67 00:02:56,361 --> 00:02:59,661 Before it derails and destroys the entire town. 68 00:02:59,729 --> 00:03:01,230 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 69 00:03:01,297 --> 00:03:02,731 It's just a cold sore. It is? 70 00:03:02,799 --> 00:03:05,434 - Yep. Just a cold sore. - Just a cold sore. 71 00:03:05,502 --> 00:03:06,969 Thank you. Phyllis, I don't have acne. 72 00:03:07,036 --> 00:03:09,471 I have a cold sore. I didn't even have a cold. 73 00:03:09,539 --> 00:03:11,674 I don't know how I got it. I know how you got it. 74 00:03:11,742 --> 00:03:13,910 - How? - Michael, come on. 75 00:03:13,977 --> 00:03:16,311 A cold sore is herpes. 76 00:03:16,379 --> 00:03:18,780 - What? - What you should do, Michael, 77 00:03:18,848 --> 00:03:20,415 Is have a doctor take a look at it, 78 00:03:20,483 --> 00:03:22,483 'cause we don't really know what that is. 79 00:03:22,551 --> 00:03:24,318 I know tons and tons of people who have herpes. 80 00:03:24,386 --> 00:03:25,619 I have it myself. 81 00:03:25,687 --> 00:03:26,853 That's what it is. 82 00:03:26,921 --> 00:03:28,321 I've never seen herpes on you. 83 00:03:28,388 --> 00:03:30,323 'cause it's on my genitals, genius. 84 00:03:30,390 --> 00:03:31,824 You have a penis? 85 00:03:31,892 --> 00:03:34,160 Michael, have you ever been tested for STDs? 86 00:03:34,227 --> 00:03:36,362 Yeah. My last physical when I was 40. 87 00:03:36,430 --> 00:03:37,763 That was like ten years ago. 88 00:03:37,831 --> 00:03:39,297 No, it was like four years ago. 89 00:03:39,365 --> 00:03:41,199 Michael, you're at least 46. 90 00:03:41,267 --> 00:03:42,501 Why at least? 91 00:03:42,569 --> 00:03:44,737 If you're guessing 46, just say 46. 92 00:03:52,244 --> 00:03:55,046 Can please talk about how gross Meredith is? 93 00:03:55,113 --> 00:03:56,279 This is what you get 94 00:03:56,347 --> 00:03:59,182 When you treat your body like an outhouse. 95 00:03:59,250 --> 00:04:00,884 You know what, guys? 96 00:04:00,951 --> 00:04:03,219 How 'bout we just chill out a little bit on the herp chat? 97 00:04:03,287 --> 00:04:04,820 Okay? I was an r.A. In college, 98 00:04:04,888 --> 00:04:06,188 And I can tell you, 99 00:04:06,256 --> 00:04:09,624 The number one sexually transmitted disease... 100 00:04:09,692 --> 00:04:11,292 Is ignorance. 101 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:14,829 I guess maybe she could marry a meth dealer with crabs... 102 00:04:14,896 --> 00:04:16,630 I don't even want to know about these things. 103 00:04:16,698 --> 00:04:19,132 Hey, guys. 104 00:04:24,203 --> 00:04:26,970 How did this happen? How did I get this? 105 00:04:27,037 --> 00:04:28,871 Sometimes it can lie dormant in a woman for years. 106 00:04:28,938 --> 00:04:30,304 They may not even ow that they have it. 107 00:04:30,372 --> 00:04:31,639 You ow what? I feel like 108 00:04:31,706 --> 00:04:33,807 One of those old-timey sailors with VD. 109 00:04:33,875 --> 00:04:35,675 Eh, it's me own darn fault. 110 00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,977 Girl in every port! But what port? 111 00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:39,979 The Jan port? 112 00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,181 The Holly port? Don't even... 113 00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:43,683 Holly was clean, okay? 114 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,318 If anything, I gave it to her. 115 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:46,986 - You may have. - Oh, my God. 116 00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:49,222 What if I did? 117 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,757 You need to contact Holly. 118 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:53,825 You need to notify her that she is crawling with herpes. 119 00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:55,226 Okay. You know what? 120 00:04:55,294 --> 00:04:56,327 Might. 121 00:04:56,395 --> 00:04:59,262 Might be crawling with herpes. 122 00:04:59,330 --> 00:05:01,866 I might have gotten it after her. 123 00:05:01,933 --> 00:05:03,801 You need to contact every woman you've been with 124 00:05:03,869 --> 00:05:06,270 And notify them of your herpes infestation. 125 00:05:06,337 --> 00:05:07,771 It's the right thing to do. 126 00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:09,872 There's no way I'm gonna do that. 127 00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:11,506 - Then I will. - All right, I... 128 00:05:14,010 --> 00:05:15,710 Now, I'm no doctor, but it seems to me 129 00:05:15,778 --> 00:05:17,712 That we all have an obligation to the public health 130 00:05:17,780 --> 00:05:20,114 To track down anyone who gives us a disease, 131 00:05:20,181 --> 00:05:21,582 Inform them of it, 132 00:05:21,649 --> 00:05:24,551 And take overwhelming revenge on that person. 133 00:05:24,619 --> 00:05:26,085 Again, I'm no doctor. 134 00:05:26,153 --> 00:05:28,788 I'm just a normal guy who enjoys revenge. 135 00:05:30,723 --> 00:05:32,324 Hello. 136 00:05:32,391 --> 00:05:34,425 Hi, Donna. It's Michael. 137 00:05:34,493 --> 00:05:37,094 Michael. I didn't think I'd hear from you. 138 00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:39,563 How've you been? I have a disease... 139 00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,565 For which there is no known cure 140 00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:44,567 That has been sexually transmitted to me. 141 00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:45,935 Oh, no! 142 00:05:46,003 --> 00:05:47,603 I can't even say it. 143 00:05:47,671 --> 00:05:49,671 H...I... 144 00:05:49,739 --> 00:05:51,139 Oh, my God! 145 00:05:51,206 --> 00:05:53,040 R...P... 146 00:05:53,108 --> 00:05:55,308 E.E... 147 00:05:55,376 --> 00:05:56,776 - W-wait. - S. 148 00:05:56,843 --> 00:06:00,179 You're calling to tell me that you have herpes? 149 00:06:00,247 --> 00:06:04,316 No. I am calling to see if you gave me herpes, 150 00:06:04,383 --> 00:06:05,750 Because if you did, 151 00:06:05,818 --> 00:06:08,652 I would be able to avoid a lot of sucky conversations. 152 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,720 So you have it, right? No. 153 00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:12,422 Does your stupid husband have it? 154 00:06:12,489 --> 00:06:13,723 No, he doesn't. 155 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,824 Are you telling me I have to get tested? 156 00:06:15,892 --> 00:06:17,993 Yes, I'm telling you you have to get tested for herpes. 157 00:06:18,061 --> 00:06:19,928 Good-bye! - So long, Donna. 158 00:06:19,996 --> 00:06:22,964 'scuse me, everyone, can I have your attention, please? 159 00:06:23,032 --> 00:06:24,632 - Not again. - What do you mean, again? 160 00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:27,168 You're always asking for our attention. 161 00:06:27,236 --> 00:06:29,002 Well, maybe like a year ago. 162 00:06:29,070 --> 00:06:31,738 - Mm. Seems recent. - No, that's... 163 00:06:31,806 --> 00:06:33,339 Andy, the reason it seems more recent 164 00:06:33,407 --> 00:06:35,107 Is because many of us here have never stood up 165 00:06:35,175 --> 00:06:36,575 And asked for everyone's attention, 166 00:06:36,643 --> 00:06:38,777 And it seems like you've done that on several occasions. 167 00:06:38,845 --> 00:06:40,277 Everyone, I've noticed that 168 00:06:40,345 --> 00:06:44,347 We've not been entirely kind to one of our own, 169 00:06:44,415 --> 00:06:46,749 Due to stigmas and prejudices. 170 00:06:46,817 --> 00:06:48,216 Oh, when you got your new phone... 171 00:06:48,284 --> 00:06:50,018 That's when you asked for everyone's attention. 172 00:06:50,085 --> 00:06:51,886 World cup. That's what I was thinkin'. 173 00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:53,622 You kept announcing scores. 174 00:06:53,690 --> 00:06:57,926 It's the world's only international sport, so... 175 00:06:58,994 --> 00:07:01,128 This is hoy. 176 00:07:01,195 --> 00:07:04,096 No, this is Holly. 177 00:07:04,164 --> 00:07:06,532 No... This is Holly. 178 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,166 No, this is Holly. 179 00:07:08,234 --> 00:07:12,169 No...This is Michael Scott. 180 00:07:12,237 --> 00:07:14,404 Busted. 181 00:07:14,472 --> 00:07:17,374 So what can I do for you, Holly? 182 00:07:17,442 --> 00:07:18,608 I'm calling because... 183 00:07:18,676 --> 00:07:20,544 There was a terrible car accident. 184 00:07:20,612 --> 00:07:23,380 Oh, really? Was anyone killed? 185 00:07:23,448 --> 00:07:25,215 A lot of people. 186 00:07:25,283 --> 00:07:28,085 - Any nuns? - Three nuns. 187 00:07:28,153 --> 00:07:30,354 Missionaries from South Africa. 188 00:07:30,422 --> 00:07:33,489 Were they in the missionary position? 189 00:07:33,557 --> 00:07:34,690 ♪ bah bah dah dah ♪ 190 00:07:34,757 --> 00:07:37,057 ♪ hot pizza, eck it and see ♪ 191 00:07:37,125 --> 00:07:38,224 ♪ dah dah dah dah ♪ 192 00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:40,291 ♪ I got a whole bunch-a pepperoni ♪ 193 00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:43,192 Yeah. Now you're lookin' at me. 194 00:07:43,259 --> 00:07:45,427 Anyone who's interested in entering into 195 00:07:45,494 --> 00:07:47,528 An hest discussion about the sexual mores and taboos 196 00:07:47,596 --> 00:07:51,463 Of modern society will be rewarded with a pizza break. 197 00:07:51,531 --> 00:07:53,431 Do you ever wonder what life would have been like 198 00:07:53,499 --> 00:07:55,868 If you hadn't been transferred? 199 00:07:55,936 --> 00:07:58,304 - Yeah. - We would have twins. 200 00:07:58,371 --> 00:07:59,938 I don't think we'd have kids. 201 00:08:00,006 --> 00:08:02,373 - Mm-hmm. - We dated for a few weeks. 202 00:08:02,441 --> 00:08:03,941 - Mm-hmm. We would be married. 203 00:08:04,009 --> 00:08:07,211 Michael, I've been dating AJ for a year and a half now. 204 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:10,080 You do this, you know. Do what? 205 00:08:10,147 --> 00:08:12,548 You romanticize things. 206 00:08:12,616 --> 00:08:13,883 I don't romantici... 207 00:08:15,652 --> 00:08:16,785 - N-no... - Michael, you cried 208 00:08:16,853 --> 00:08:19,454 At that tag line for a movie you made up. 209 00:08:19,522 --> 00:08:20,956 He had no arms or legs. 210 00:08:21,023 --> 00:08:24,258 He couldn't see, hear, or speak. 211 00:08:24,326 --> 00:08:26,093 This is how he led a nation. 212 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:28,295 You made us out to be more than we were. 213 00:08:28,363 --> 00:08:30,897 Maybe we were more than we were. 214 00:08:30,965 --> 00:08:32,966 I don't know what you're getting so upset about. 215 00:08:33,033 --> 00:08:34,967 We had a fun fling a long time ago. 216 00:08:35,035 --> 00:08:37,136 It's a good memory. Okay, all right. 217 00:08:37,204 --> 00:08:39,204 I gotta go. Michael... 218 00:08:42,474 --> 00:08:44,575 he forgot to mention the herpes. 219 00:08:44,643 --> 00:08:46,877 It didn't come up organically. 220 00:08:50,476 --> 00:08:52,210 To accommodate the suppliers. 221 00:08:52,278 --> 00:08:54,244 Gentlemen, nice to see you it'll be just a moment. 222 00:08:54,312 --> 00:08:56,645 If you could show them into conference room "b." 223 00:08:56,713 --> 00:08:57,746 The pharmaceutical company 224 00:08:57,814 --> 00:08:58,846 Should be able to accommodate us. 225 00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,548 How do I do it? Raise my daughter... 226 00:09:00,616 --> 00:09:02,818 Work as director of office purchasing for this hospital, 227 00:09:02,886 --> 00:09:04,386 And release an album of Doris day covers 228 00:09:04,454 --> 00:09:06,990 On my own label? 229 00:09:07,058 --> 00:09:08,859 If I knew, I'd tell you. 230 00:09:08,926 --> 00:09:09,993 It's nice to see you doin' so well. 231 00:09:10,061 --> 00:09:11,195 Yeah. I'm really happy. 232 00:09:11,263 --> 00:09:12,597 Me and Astrid against the world. 233 00:09:12,665 --> 00:09:14,098 We're lovin' it. 234 00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:16,835 Yeah, so.. Kinda the supermom. 235 00:09:16,903 --> 00:09:18,570 - Bringin' home the bacon. - Yeah. 236 00:09:18,638 --> 00:09:19,671 ♪ fry it up in a pan ♪ 237 00:09:19,738 --> 00:09:20,872 ♪ never, never, never let you ♪ 238 00:09:20,939 --> 00:09:22,039 ♪ forget you're a man ♪ 239 00:09:22,107 --> 00:09:24,408 love that commercial. 240 00:09:24,475 --> 00:09:27,110 I don't understand the reference. 241 00:09:27,177 --> 00:09:28,344 Well... 242 00:09:28,412 --> 00:09:30,079 Michael, it was nice to get your call. 243 00:09:30,147 --> 00:09:31,880 We had to come over right away... it's urgent. 244 00:09:31,948 --> 00:09:33,882 - Okay. - Michael has something 245 00:09:33,950 --> 00:09:35,083 To tell you. Shh! 246 00:09:35,151 --> 00:09:37,752 Are you gonna keep me in suspense? 247 00:09:37,819 --> 00:09:40,253 - Ah-ah-ahem. 248 00:09:43,923 --> 00:09:47,058 - Would you excuse me? - Okay, I'm gonna... 249 00:09:47,126 --> 00:09:48,225 Head outta here. 250 00:09:48,293 --> 00:09:50,394 I know you have a lot to talk about, okay? 251 00:09:50,462 --> 00:09:52,529 Is there... An operating theater 252 00:09:52,597 --> 00:09:54,030 That's open to visitors? 253 00:09:54,098 --> 00:09:57,266 Never mind. I'll find it. 254 00:09:57,334 --> 00:09:59,401 - He hasn't changed. - No. 255 00:09:59,469 --> 00:10:03,071 So...What couldn't wait? 256 00:10:03,139 --> 00:10:04,706 Am I the kind of person 257 00:10:04,774 --> 00:10:07,375 To misremember our relationship 258 00:10:07,443 --> 00:10:08,776 As something more than it was? 259 00:10:08,844 --> 00:10:10,077 Michael Scott, 260 00:10:10,145 --> 00:10:12,279 You are here for a postmortem. 261 00:10:12,347 --> 00:10:13,780 What? 262 00:10:13,848 --> 00:10:16,416 You wanna dig into our relationship... 263 00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:20,252 Go over it, see what killed it. 264 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,254 Okay. 265 00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,056 I'm in. 266 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,291 So guys, I've been really bothered 267 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:29,260 By the way certain people are getting treated around here, 268 00:10:29,327 --> 00:10:32,462 And...I just think as an office we're better than that. 269 00:10:32,530 --> 00:10:35,098 Okay, now, I'm gonna show you a picture 270 00:10:35,165 --> 00:10:37,066 Of genitalia. 271 00:10:38,568 --> 00:10:39,835 Andy. 272 00:10:39,902 --> 00:10:41,336 - What, 'cause he's black? - Nope. 273 00:10:41,404 --> 00:10:42,903 It's 'cause it's genitalia. 274 00:10:42,971 --> 00:10:46,239 Perfectly normal genitalia, tuna. 275 00:10:46,306 --> 00:10:49,408 Now I'm gonna show you another picture 276 00:10:49,476 --> 00:10:50,942 Of perfectly normal genitalia. 277 00:10:52,644 --> 00:10:54,111 Oh, my God! 278 00:10:54,179 --> 00:10:55,912 Am I blocking anybody? Can everybody see? 279 00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:57,514 Perfectly normal. Big deal. 280 00:10:57,581 --> 00:10:59,649 Yeah, sure, it's got some herpes on it. 281 00:10:59,717 --> 00:11:01,317 But you know what? 282 00:11:01,385 --> 00:11:04,453 It's just as normal as anyone else's. 283 00:11:04,521 --> 00:11:07,457 No. In the beginning, we were not good. 284 00:11:07,524 --> 00:11:09,525 Well...There was a bit of a learning curve 285 00:11:09,593 --> 00:11:11,460 In the conversation department, 286 00:11:11,527 --> 00:11:12,861 But between the sheets, 287 00:11:12,928 --> 00:11:14,829 We were like Jordan and pippen. 288 00:11:14,897 --> 00:11:16,664 Well, if there's anything exciting about it, 289 00:11:16,732 --> 00:11:18,532 It was because we both knew it was wrong. 290 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:20,334 - Because we worked together. - No. 291 00:11:20,402 --> 00:11:22,303 Okay, imagine there's a princess 292 00:11:22,371 --> 00:11:24,305 Who falls for a guy beneath her station, 293 00:11:24,372 --> 00:11:25,839 And the queen doesn't like this at all. 294 00:11:25,907 --> 00:11:27,974 And the princess knows that the queen doesn't like it, 295 00:11:28,042 --> 00:11:30,142 And so it makes her want to do it all the more 296 00:11:30,210 --> 00:11:31,443 Just to get at the queen. 297 00:11:31,511 --> 00:11:32,942 - Am I the princess? - No, I'm the princess. 298 00:11:33,010 --> 00:11:34,377 And the queen. 299 00:11:34,445 --> 00:11:38,347 Okay. So I'm the guy at the station. 300 00:11:38,415 --> 00:11:39,481 Mommy! 301 00:11:39,549 --> 00:11:41,817 Assy! Oh! 302 00:11:41,885 --> 00:11:43,819 ♪ how was school? ♪ 303 00:11:43,886 --> 00:11:45,420 It was cool. 304 00:11:45,488 --> 00:11:47,954 ♪ what did you learn? ♪ 305 00:11:48,022 --> 00:11:49,556 ♪ what did I learn? ♪ 306 00:11:49,624 --> 00:11:52,559 ♪ you might have learned ♪ 307 00:11:52,626 --> 00:11:55,327 ♪ shapes or blocks ♪ 308 00:11:55,395 --> 00:11:57,329 ♪ or clocks or colors ♪ 309 00:11:57,397 --> 00:11:58,830 ♪ or you might have learned ♪ 310 00:11:58,898 --> 00:12:02,667 ♪ that we're all sisters and brothers ♪ 311 00:12:02,735 --> 00:12:05,703 - I haerpes. - What? You... 312 00:12:05,771 --> 00:12:08,505 I used to think that she was the one. 313 00:12:08,573 --> 00:12:11,340 Or at least a "the one." 314 00:12:11,408 --> 00:12:14,710 And if I called that one so wrong... 315 00:12:16,712 --> 00:12:19,580 Herpes, like all stds, is a consequence of sex. 316 00:12:19,647 --> 00:12:22,549 Can anyone else name any other consequences? 317 00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:24,317 It feels unbelievable. 318 00:12:24,385 --> 00:12:27,888 Okay, I guess we can make a pros column. 319 00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:29,155 Feels... 320 00:12:29,223 --> 00:12:30,757 Unbelievable. 321 00:12:30,825 --> 00:12:31,925 Okay. 322 00:12:31,992 --> 00:12:34,726 The ability to express love physically. 323 00:12:34,794 --> 00:12:37,262 It's a magical thing. 324 00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:40,364 Express love. Magical. 325 00:12:40,432 --> 00:12:42,165 It feels amazing. 326 00:12:42,233 --> 00:12:44,767 Um, okay, is that different from feels unbelievable? 327 00:12:44,834 --> 00:12:48,536 - Yes. - Then I will write it down. 328 00:12:48,604 --> 00:12:50,871 The feeling of pure risk. 329 00:12:50,939 --> 00:12:53,741 Creed, I had that in the cons column, 330 00:12:53,809 --> 00:12:55,343 But... It's thrilling. 331 00:12:55,410 --> 00:12:58,845 Okay. Um, then... 332 00:12:58,913 --> 00:13:00,347 We'll move that. 333 00:13:00,414 --> 00:13:02,615 "thrill of risk." 334 00:13:02,683 --> 00:13:04,516 Andy, aren't there also negatives to sex? 335 00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:06,685 Yes! Thank you. 336 00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:09,021 Such as... Unplanned pregnancy. 337 00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:10,689 Yes. Unplanned pregnancy. 338 00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:12,957 - Like Jim and pam... what? - Hey. 339 00:13:13,025 --> 00:13:15,259 Just admit that your baby was a mistake. 340 00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:18,762 Hey, hey, hey. Our baby was not a mistake. 341 00:13:18,830 --> 00:13:20,930 She was a surprise. Good. 342 00:13:20,998 --> 00:13:23,064 I'm sure they don't regret having that child. 343 00:13:23,132 --> 00:13:25,899 Let's move it to the pros. Thank you. 344 00:13:25,967 --> 00:13:30,102 Okay. Unplanned pregnancy. Going in the pros column. 345 00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:32,104 Next up is helene. 346 00:13:32,172 --> 00:13:34,573 You're gonna want to make a left on willow, 347 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,107 Which is a little ways away. 348 00:13:36,175 --> 00:13:37,776 Uh, I'll remind you. 349 00:13:37,844 --> 00:13:40,079 You know, I don't know if I trust jan's judgment. 350 00:13:40,146 --> 00:13:41,613 She... Jan knows paper. 351 00:13:41,681 --> 00:13:43,448 No, not paper. Relationships. 352 00:13:43,516 --> 00:13:45,950 To have the ability to point out 353 00:13:46,018 --> 00:13:48,819 If a man is making a bigger deal out of something 354 00:13:48,887 --> 00:13:50,388 Than is really there. Wait, what Holly said? 355 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:52,289 - Yes! I don't... - forget it, Michael. 356 00:13:52,357 --> 00:13:54,291 Today is about herpes. I know. 357 00:13:54,358 --> 00:13:56,292 Okay? Who gave it to you, who has it... 358 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:57,827 - Right. - And who is going to pay. 359 00:13:57,895 --> 00:13:59,795 - Okay. - To answer your question 360 00:13:59,863 --> 00:14:01,797 About jan... no, jan is insane. 361 00:14:01,865 --> 00:14:03,231 Why do you think I... 362 00:14:03,299 --> 00:14:05,867 Left! Willow now! All right! God! 363 00:14:07,369 --> 00:14:09,270 Hi, stranger. 364 00:14:09,337 --> 00:14:11,738 Long time. Who are you? 365 00:14:11,806 --> 00:14:14,140 I'm Michael. We dated for a while. 366 00:14:14,208 --> 00:14:15,575 I don't think so. 367 00:14:15,643 --> 00:14:18,812 Michael? 368 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,314 Oh, hey! 369 00:14:21,382 --> 00:14:24,517 Dwight, would you take my grandmother for a walk 370 00:14:24,585 --> 00:14:26,519 While I talk to the real helene? 371 00:14:26,587 --> 00:14:28,154 - Come on, old lady, let's go. - What is happening? 372 00:14:28,222 --> 00:14:29,689 Shh, shh, shh, shh. Come on. 373 00:14:29,757 --> 00:14:33,092 Who can tell me the safest form of safe sex? 374 00:14:33,159 --> 00:14:34,826 - Condoms. - Incorrect. 375 00:14:34,894 --> 00:14:37,761 The only true form of safe sex... 376 00:14:37,828 --> 00:14:39,996 Okay? Abstinence. 377 00:14:40,064 --> 00:14:42,265 Oh! I didn't realize we were doing... 378 00:14:42,332 --> 00:14:43,967 Trick questions. 379 00:14:44,035 --> 00:14:45,969 What's the safest way to go skiing? 380 00:14:46,037 --> 00:14:46,970 Don't ski. 381 00:14:48,839 --> 00:14:50,339 I just thought I'd bring it up 382 00:14:50,407 --> 00:14:53,508 In case someone here was practicing abstinence. 383 00:14:53,576 --> 00:14:54,776 That's all. Anybody? 384 00:14:54,844 --> 00:14:56,844 Andy, that's way too personal of a question. 385 00:14:56,912 --> 00:14:59,780 Well, someone could answer it if they wanted to. 386 00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:03,816 Okay, in that case, 387 00:15:03,884 --> 00:15:09,287 I will now show you how to put this condom on using... 388 00:15:09,354 --> 00:15:11,188 This pencil. oh, God! 389 00:15:11,256 --> 00:15:12,722 What? 390 00:15:12,790 --> 00:15:14,557 Why choose a pencil, Andy? 391 00:15:14,625 --> 00:15:16,525 Well, I'm not gonna use my penis, Oscar. 392 00:15:16,593 --> 00:15:17,894 It's not exactly hard right now anyway. 393 00:15:17,961 --> 00:15:20,162 Come on, give it a rest, pencil Dick! 394 00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:21,997 I'm doing this for you, Meredith! 395 00:15:22,065 --> 00:15:23,865 - I didn't want it! - Well, did you... 396 00:15:23,932 --> 00:15:25,232 Why...Didn't... 397 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,902 Does no one appreciate what I'm doing right now? 398 00:15:29,204 --> 00:15:30,806 Whoa! 399 00:15:32,276 --> 00:15:34,710 It'll go away in time. Just don't touch it. 400 00:15:34,778 --> 00:15:36,812 Did I make more of what we had 401 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:38,413 Than was really there? 402 00:15:38,481 --> 00:15:39,848 What did you think we were? 403 00:15:39,915 --> 00:15:42,883 Just a... Quirky indie movie 404 00:15:42,951 --> 00:15:44,651 Weird sorta thing... 405 00:15:44,719 --> 00:15:48,354 Breakin' all the rules... But had to end 406 00:15:48,422 --> 00:15:50,723 Because the summer was over. For you. 407 00:15:50,791 --> 00:15:53,192 - I-I think that for you to have come here 408 00:15:53,259 --> 00:15:55,427 Even expecting... 409 00:15:55,495 --> 00:15:57,829 That we could have a conversation like this 410 00:15:57,897 --> 00:16:01,065 Shows how... how self-deluded you are. 411 00:16:01,133 --> 00:16:05,702 Michael, your...Memory has failed you greatly. 412 00:16:05,770 --> 00:16:07,804 Jerk. 413 00:16:19,949 --> 00:16:22,083 Michael... 414 00:16:23,819 --> 00:16:26,086 So this is a chef's kitchen, 415 00:16:26,154 --> 00:16:28,021 Which makes it perfect for real entertainers. 416 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:30,256 Real entertainer, like Billy Joel. 417 00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:33,393 - Michael. - Carole. How are you? 418 00:16:33,461 --> 00:16:35,361 I'm great. How are you? 419 00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:37,563 I'm great. I saw your sign outside, 420 00:16:37,631 --> 00:16:39,331 And I decided, I'm gonna pull in, 421 00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:41,366 And maybe I'm going to buy a house from her. 422 00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:42,567 Oh. You didn't call my office 423 00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:44,169 And ask them where I was? 424 00:16:44,236 --> 00:16:46,337 No! that's so... 425 00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:48,405 'cause the receptionist told me that a man called, 426 00:16:48,473 --> 00:16:50,606 But he would only say that he was my ex-lover. 427 00:16:50,674 --> 00:16:51,641 - Weird. - Yeah. 428 00:16:51,708 --> 00:16:52,742 Sounds like a nice guy. 429 00:16:52,810 --> 00:16:54,243 I don't know, 430 00:16:54,311 --> 00:16:56,612 I mean, people were being really mean to Meredith... 431 00:16:56,679 --> 00:16:58,847 But this wasn't really about Meredith, was it? 432 00:16:58,915 --> 00:17:00,849 You and Erin were broken up... 433 00:17:00,917 --> 00:17:03,217 How is that relevant to anything? 434 00:17:03,285 --> 00:17:06,120 I asked you if it was okay if I asked her out. 435 00:17:06,188 --> 00:17:08,155 You said... and I quote... 436 00:17:08,223 --> 00:17:10,825 "my good sir, nothing would make me happier 437 00:17:10,892 --> 00:17:13,962 Than to hand you the hand of the hand once in my hand." 438 00:17:14,030 --> 00:17:15,196 I specifically remembered it 439 00:17:15,264 --> 00:17:17,198 Because you said it in such a weird way. 440 00:17:17,266 --> 00:17:18,933 Well, the only reason I said that 441 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,667 Is 'cause you asked me so politely... 442 00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:23,735 And it was very difficult for me to say no. 443 00:17:23,803 --> 00:17:26,404 I'll let this slide. 444 00:17:26,472 --> 00:17:29,743 But I expect you to put this whole Erin thing behind you. 445 00:17:29,810 --> 00:17:31,577 Oh, wow. Another living room. 446 00:17:31,645 --> 00:17:32,911 It's a family room. 447 00:17:32,978 --> 00:17:37,113 You put the tv there. You put your family here. 448 00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,948 Michael, why are you here? 449 00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,149 Somebody told me 450 00:17:41,217 --> 00:17:44,384 That I romanticize relationships. 451 00:17:44,451 --> 00:17:47,586 You know, we all do that. 452 00:17:47,654 --> 00:17:49,321 I have herpes. 453 00:17:49,389 --> 00:17:50,889 What? 454 00:17:50,957 --> 00:17:52,857 Did you have that while we were together? 455 00:17:52,925 --> 00:17:54,492 I just found out today. 456 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:56,560 It's... It's right there. 457 00:17:56,628 --> 00:17:59,263 Oh. Oh. What, that's what you're talking about? 458 00:17:59,331 --> 00:18:01,132 - Mm-hmm. I'm sorry. 459 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,500 Did you have a doctor check it out? 460 00:18:02,568 --> 00:18:04,302 I'm between specialists right now. 461 00:18:04,369 --> 00:18:07,071 Yes. Yes, Michael. 462 00:18:07,138 --> 00:18:09,940 Actually, you do make a bigger deal out of things 463 00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:11,575 Than you need to. 464 00:18:11,642 --> 00:18:14,410 You proposed to me on our fourth date. 465 00:18:14,478 --> 00:18:16,345 Well, I believe in love at first sight. 466 00:18:16,413 --> 00:18:17,846 Well, so do I, 467 00:18:17,914 --> 00:18:20,648 But we didn't love each other at first either. 468 00:18:20,716 --> 00:18:22,651 I don't know what you were thinking. 469 00:18:22,718 --> 00:18:25,319 I know what I was thinking at the time, 470 00:18:25,387 --> 00:18:27,988 But right now, it just seems ridiculous. 471 00:18:28,056 --> 00:18:30,090 Excuse me. 472 00:18:30,158 --> 00:18:32,825 Someone died in the upstairs bathroom, didn't they? 473 00:18:32,893 --> 00:18:34,160 No. 474 00:18:36,697 --> 00:18:39,365 We should... Schedule meetings, 475 00:18:39,432 --> 00:18:42,201 'cause the days can slip away with chitchat. 476 00:18:42,269 --> 00:18:43,769 Are you crying? 477 00:18:43,837 --> 00:18:45,970 No. I'm just sweating. 478 00:18:46,038 --> 00:18:48,039 I don't know what's got you upset, 479 00:18:48,106 --> 00:18:50,541 But my advice is... Stop crying. 480 00:18:50,609 --> 00:18:52,676 I'm not crying. I'm sweating. 481 00:18:52,744 --> 00:18:54,177 Look, you need to pick yourself up. 482 00:18:54,245 --> 00:18:56,279 Man up, all right? 483 00:18:56,346 --> 00:18:58,847 Son, you will win this in the end. 484 00:18:58,915 --> 00:19:01,550 It's all about heart... 485 00:19:01,618 --> 00:19:02,951 And character. 486 00:19:03,019 --> 00:19:06,454 Be your best self. 487 00:19:06,522 --> 00:19:07,855 Okay. 488 00:19:07,923 --> 00:19:09,456 Yeah. 489 00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:10,824 I have no idea what his problem is. 490 00:19:10,892 --> 00:19:12,525 It's just my standard advice. 491 00:19:12,593 --> 00:19:13,860 It's good advice, right? 492 00:19:13,927 --> 00:19:15,462 This is Holly flax. 493 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:16,930 I can't come to the phone right now, 494 00:19:16,997 --> 00:19:18,197 But please leave a message 495 00:19:18,265 --> 00:19:20,199 At the sound of the tiny truck backing up. 496 00:19:21,767 --> 00:19:23,567 Hi, Holly, it's Michael. 497 00:19:23,635 --> 00:19:26,303 I just wanted to call and let you know 498 00:19:26,370 --> 00:19:28,238 That I was thinking about what you said. 499 00:19:28,305 --> 00:19:32,042 It's just...You know... 500 00:19:32,110 --> 00:19:34,678 It's weird. Today I... 501 00:19:34,746 --> 00:19:38,249 Ended up seeing a lot of the women that ud to date, 502 00:19:38,317 --> 00:19:41,853 And iny mind, ey were all great. 503 00:19:41,921 --> 00:19:44,388 And then when I actually saw them, 504 00:19:44,456 --> 00:19:46,490 It was mostly a freak show. 505 00:19:46,558 --> 00:19:48,025 And you and me, 506 00:19:48,093 --> 00:19:50,761 That must have been a real... Train wreck. 507 00:19:52,430 --> 00:19:55,031 You know what? 508 00:19:55,098 --> 00:19:58,436 Holly, you're wrong. 509 00:19:58,503 --> 00:20:01,338 You are wrong. 510 00:20:01,406 --> 00:20:03,739 I remember every second of us. 511 00:20:03,807 --> 00:20:05,739 And talking to you today... 512 00:20:05,807 --> 00:20:10,539 I don't feel for them anything like what I feel for you. 513 00:20:10,607 --> 00:20:13,008 It's... 514 00:20:13,076 --> 00:20:15,076 I didn't joke with any of them. 515 00:20:15,144 --> 00:20:16,211 I joked with you. 516 00:20:16,279 --> 00:20:18,413 You were the only one 517 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,549 Who was actually happy to hear from me. 518 00:20:21,616 --> 00:20:24,517 And I don't know why you downgraded what we had, 519 00:20:24,585 --> 00:20:27,454 But I did not make us up. 520 00:20:27,522 --> 00:20:29,556 Okay. 521 00:20:29,623 --> 00:20:32,224 Oh, and you might... you should talk to a doctor 522 00:20:32,292 --> 00:20:34,726 Because you might have herpes. 523 00:20:34,794 --> 00:20:36,294 Bye. 524 00:20:41,305 --> 00:20:43,238 - What is this about? - Oscar... 525 00:20:43,306 --> 00:20:46,040 We once sucked face in public 526 00:20:46,108 --> 00:20:48,274 As parof an office presentation 527 00:20:48,342 --> 00:20:52,243 Destroy the stigma about gay kissing. 528 00:20:52,311 --> 00:20:54,411 Do you recall? Yes, and... 529 00:20:54,479 --> 00:20:56,746 You may have given me a sexually transmitted disease. 530 00:20:56,814 --> 00:20:58,147 - What? - Herpes duplex. 531 00:20:58,148 --> 00:21:02,630 ****** 532 00:21:02,665 --> 00:21:05,764 I already contacted all of my ex-lovers except for you. 533 00:21:05,799 --> 00:21:09,533 - We were never lovers. - I'm gonna need a list of every men you've ever had sex with. 534 00:21:09,568 --> 00:21:15,473 - I'm talking train stations, *** - *** 535 00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:19,986 - ***** - **** 536 00:21:20,021 --> 00:21:26,072 - ***** - ***** 537 00:21:26,107 --> 00:21:27,896 Oscar, think about... Think. 538 00:21:28,096 --> 00:21:28,196 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net