1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,254
Everybody, can I please
have your attention?
2
00:00:02,374 --> 00:00:04,894
Ryan and I have a huge announcement.
3
00:00:05,014 --> 00:00:08,014
Oh my gosh.
Wow.
4
00:00:08,134 --> 00:00:11,197
Over the weekend,
Ryan Bailey Howard and I got divorced.
5
00:00:11,317 --> 00:00:13,521
- Sweet.
- Free ring.
6
00:00:14,250 --> 00:00:14,989
Divorced?
7
00:00:15,109 --> 00:00:17,629
Just so you know, it's totally amicable.
We're fine.
8
00:00:17,696 --> 00:00:19,631
We don't need people here
to take sides.
9
00:00:19,698 --> 00:00:21,833
The last thing that we want
is any kind of drama.
10
00:00:21,901 --> 00:00:23,902
Wait, I...
Can you back up?
11
00:00:23,969 --> 00:00:25,236
What's the story?
12
00:00:25,304 --> 00:00:27,071
We were having a beautiful
weekend in the Poconos.
13
00:00:27,139 --> 00:00:29,073
We were making love constantly.
14
00:00:29,141 --> 00:00:31,809
We saw the sun rise,
and Ryan was crying a lot.
15
00:00:31,877 --> 00:00:33,545
- That's not a relevant detail.
- And in the morning,
16
00:00:33,612 --> 00:00:36,080
we walked by a chapel
and we stopped suddenly,
17
00:00:36,148 --> 00:00:37,582
and Ryan said...
18
00:00:37,650 --> 00:00:39,651
"I don't think I should
be married to you anymore."
19
00:00:41,086 --> 00:00:42,420
Wait, wha...
20
00:00:42,488 --> 00:00:44,255
Sorry, when did you get married?
21
00:00:44,323 --> 00:00:45,757
Um, like a week ago.
22
00:00:45,824 --> 00:00:47,358
We got really wasted,
and it just felt right.
23
00:00:47,426 --> 00:00:49,127
And you didn't invite any of us?
24
00:00:49,195 --> 00:00:50,695
We are getting divorced, Andy!
25
00:00:50,763 --> 00:00:53,331
This is such a raw time.
26
00:00:53,399 --> 00:00:54,966
God, baby, you know,
with people's reactions to this,
27
00:00:55,034 --> 00:00:56,668
I wonder if we made a mistake.
28
00:00:56,735 --> 00:00:59,204
No, with the messed-up laws
in this country,
29
00:00:59,271 --> 00:01:02,840
I don't want to be married
until everyone can be married.
30
00:01:02,908 --> 00:01:03,908
You know what, Ryan?
31
00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:05,210
I talked to the other gay guys,
32
00:01:05,277 --> 00:01:06,611
and we're okay with it.
33
00:01:06,679 --> 00:01:07,879
We all agreed it's fine
for you to get married.
34
00:01:07,947 --> 00:01:08,913
No. No, Oscar.
35
00:01:08,981 --> 00:01:10,815
Not... not until
everyone can.
36
00:01:10,883 --> 00:01:12,383
Ryan, I changed my mind.
37
00:01:12,451 --> 00:01:13,518
Okay, fine.
You know what?
38
00:01:13,586 --> 00:01:14,819
This actually
isn't amicable at all,
39
00:01:14,887 --> 00:01:17,222
and we actually do need people
to take sides.
40
00:01:17,289 --> 00:01:18,356
Who's on my side?
41
00:01:20,259 --> 00:01:22,994
And who is on my side?
42
00:01:30,135 --> 00:01:40,042
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
43
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:49,320
All right, bye.
44
00:01:49,388 --> 00:01:50,555
- Bye.
- Let's go.
45
00:01:50,623 --> 00:01:51,756
Just a minute!
46
00:01:51,824 --> 00:01:54,058
- How long do we have to wait?
- For what?
47
00:01:54,126 --> 00:01:56,127
You broke up with A.J. weeks ago.
48
00:01:56,195 --> 00:01:58,363
Don't you have
a sales call to go on?
49
00:01:58,430 --> 00:02:00,198
I don't understand.
I really don't, I mean...
50
00:02:00,266 --> 00:02:02,667
We know we're gonna
start dating... Why not now?
51
00:02:02,735 --> 00:02:04,269
- We don't know that.
- Sure we do.
52
00:02:04,336 --> 00:02:05,436
Why is it such a certainty
53
00:02:05,504 --> 00:02:06,738
that we're supposed
to be together?
54
00:02:06,805 --> 00:02:08,506
Why does the sun
rise in the morning?
55
00:02:08,574 --> 00:02:10,341
Why do magnets stick together?
56
00:02:10,409 --> 00:02:13,044
Because everybody says so.
Everybody.
57
00:02:13,112 --> 00:02:15,280
Michael, I can't keep getting
into a situation
58
00:02:15,347 --> 00:02:17,515
where I date
whoever I'm working with.
59
00:02:17,583 --> 00:02:19,050
Well you can
understand that.
60
00:02:19,118 --> 00:02:20,151
Yeah, I understand.
61
00:02:20,219 --> 00:02:21,252
I just don't agree.
62
00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:23,288
Well, you don't have to agree.
63
00:02:23,355 --> 00:02:24,289
Yes, I do.
64
00:02:24,356 --> 00:02:25,590
No, you don't.
65
00:02:25,658 --> 00:02:26,858
Yes, I do.
66
00:02:26,925 --> 00:02:28,192
No, you can have
your own opinion...
67
00:02:28,260 --> 00:02:30,361
I have my own opinion,
and my opinion
68
00:02:30,429 --> 00:02:31,362
is to disagree with you.
69
00:02:31,430 --> 00:02:32,730
He's gonna be a lot of fun
70
00:02:32,798 --> 00:02:34,332
to drive around in a car with.
71
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:35,767
Ah, you'll get through it, hon.
72
00:02:35,834 --> 00:02:37,135
Just make a game out of it.
73
00:02:37,202 --> 00:02:40,038
A funny Jim game.
74
00:02:40,105 --> 00:02:42,307
That's it?
That's all I get?
75
00:02:42,374 --> 00:02:44,042
Even after all the hard work
I put into
76
00:02:44,109 --> 00:02:45,410
celebrating your talent today.
77
00:02:45,477 --> 00:02:47,045
All right, what'd you do?
78
00:02:47,112 --> 00:02:49,380
Well, those things
that you consider doodles
79
00:02:49,448 --> 00:02:50,581
I consider art.
80
00:02:53,352 --> 00:02:54,452
Where'd you put it?
81
00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,354
- Where'd I put what?
- Let's go.
82
00:02:56,422 --> 00:02:57,588
Oh, sorry.
I gotta go.
83
00:02:57,656 --> 00:02:58,923
- Say it. Where?
- Okay, fine.
84
00:02:58,991 --> 00:03:01,225
Three hints: One,
when you're getting colder,
85
00:03:01,293 --> 00:03:02,226
you're really getting warmer.
86
00:03:02,294 --> 00:03:03,695
- The fridge.
- Two!
87
00:03:03,762 --> 00:03:06,431
You have a better chance
if you think Bob Vance.
88
00:03:06,498 --> 00:03:07,498
The fridge, got it.
89
00:03:07,566 --> 00:03:08,566
- And the final clue...
- Let's go!
90
00:03:08,634 --> 00:03:09,834
You know what?
Just think about it.
91
00:03:09,902 --> 00:03:12,537
- You'll be fine.
- Bye.
92
00:03:13,806 --> 00:03:16,307
Holly is ruining Michael's life.
93
00:03:16,375 --> 00:03:19,010
He thinks she's so special.
94
00:03:19,078 --> 00:03:21,245
And she's so not.
95
00:03:21,313 --> 00:03:23,381
Her personality is like a three,
96
00:03:23,449 --> 00:03:24,716
her sense of humor is a two,
97
00:03:24,783 --> 00:03:28,486
her ears are like a seven
and a four.
98
00:03:28,554 --> 00:03:29,987
Add it all up,
and what do you get?
99
00:03:30,055 --> 00:03:31,322
16.
100
00:03:31,390 --> 00:03:33,524
And he treats her
like she's a perfect 40.
101
00:03:33,592 --> 00:03:35,226
It's nuts.
102
00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:42,967
Cheer up.
We made a sale.
103
00:03:43,035 --> 00:03:44,802
Just drive faster.
I wanna get back.
104
00:03:44,870 --> 00:03:46,471
Well, I'm going the speed limit.
105
00:03:46,538 --> 00:03:48,139
Okay, fine.
106
00:03:48,207 --> 00:03:49,941
My feelings don't matter to you.
107
00:03:50,008 --> 00:03:51,776
What matters to you
is your precious speed limit.
108
00:03:51,844 --> 00:03:53,644
Someone's in a bad mood.
109
00:03:53,712 --> 00:03:56,347
No, I'm not.
110
00:03:56,415 --> 00:03:59,984
I'm not in a bad mood.
111
00:04:00,052 --> 00:04:03,755
I'm not, Jim.
Hello?
112
00:04:03,822 --> 00:04:05,356
Okay, fine, ignore me.
113
00:04:05,424 --> 00:04:06,424
Have it your way.
114
00:04:06,492 --> 00:04:07,992
Let's just talk about you.
115
00:04:08,060 --> 00:04:10,161
As always.
116
00:04:10,229 --> 00:04:12,196
Sex different
after the baby, Jim?
117
00:04:12,264 --> 00:04:13,598
All right, let me
turn on some music.
118
00:04:13,665 --> 00:04:15,032
- I need to pee!
- No, you don't.
119
00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:16,768
Yeah, I do.
My word against yours.
120
00:04:16,835 --> 00:04:18,436
All right, well,
we'll be there in ten minutes.
121
00:04:18,504 --> 00:04:22,039
What part of "I need to pee"
do you not understand?
122
00:04:22,107 --> 00:04:24,442
I'm upset, my bladder is full,
123
00:04:24,510 --> 00:04:27,645
there is no telling
what I might do, right now,
124
00:04:27,713 --> 00:04:30,548
all over the inside of your
precious little car.
125
00:04:30,616 --> 00:04:32,517
All right, well,
if I see a gas station,
126
00:04:32,584 --> 00:04:34,919
- I'll pull over.
- Well, I hope I make it.
127
00:04:37,423 --> 00:04:38,356
Hello?
128
00:04:38,424 --> 00:04:40,625
Hi, Jim, it's Helene.
129
00:04:40,692 --> 00:04:43,127
Hey, Helene.
Is everything okay?
130
00:04:43,195 --> 00:04:45,029
Everything's fine.
Baby's fine.
131
00:04:45,097 --> 00:04:47,465
She has a tiny fever.
I'm taking her for a checkup.
132
00:04:47,533 --> 00:04:49,333
Nothing to worry about, uh...
133
00:04:49,401 --> 00:04:50,401
Okay.
134
00:04:50,469 --> 00:04:53,838
A tiny thing.
I locked her in the car.
135
00:04:53,906 --> 00:04:56,140
- What?
- She's smiling. She's happy.
136
00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:57,842
- Oh, my God.
- Jim, I... Jim...
137
00:04:57,910 --> 00:04:59,177
- Oh, my God.
- I don't have a spare key.
138
00:04:59,244 --> 00:05:00,311
Just... just stay there.
139
00:05:00,379 --> 00:05:01,913
I'll be there in one second.
140
00:05:01,980 --> 00:05:03,414
Michael!
141
00:05:04,583 --> 00:05:05,783
Michael!
142
00:05:07,019 --> 00:05:08,219
Excuse me, sir, there's a...
143
00:05:08,287 --> 00:05:09,353
There's a guy in the bathroom.
144
00:05:09,421 --> 00:05:10,888
He's coming out,
but I have to go,
145
00:05:10,956 --> 00:05:12,123
'cause it's an emergency.
146
00:05:12,191 --> 00:05:13,291
Will you just tell him
to call the office?
147
00:05:13,358 --> 00:05:14,792
Just call...
Call the office.
148
00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:16,461
Thank you! Please?
149
00:05:26,605 --> 00:05:27,805
Hello?
150
00:05:50,796 --> 00:05:52,997
- This is Pam.
- Hey, it's me.
151
00:05:53,065 --> 00:05:55,099
So, uh, don't worry.
Everything's okay.
152
00:05:55,167 --> 00:05:57,235
- What's wrong?
- Nothing, absolutely nothing.
153
00:05:57,302 --> 00:05:59,270
But you're not holding a cup of
coffee or anything, are you?
154
00:05:59,338 --> 00:06:01,272
- Jim, what?
- Uh...Okay.
155
00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:03,040
So Cece had a little bit
of a fever.
156
00:06:03,108 --> 00:06:05,042
And your mom also
locked her in the car.
157
00:06:05,110 --> 00:06:06,944
- Oh, God. What?
- No, no, no, it's okay.
158
00:06:07,012 --> 00:06:08,312
So Cece's with daddy now,
159
00:06:08,380 --> 00:06:10,515
and she is laughing
and she's happy,
160
00:06:10,582 --> 00:06:11,916
and we're on our way
to see Dr. Barbara.
161
00:06:11,984 --> 00:06:13,284
Okay, so she's okay?
162
00:06:13,352 --> 00:06:15,920
Yes, and your mom got
a very well-deserved day off.
163
00:06:15,988 --> 00:06:17,355
So here's the thing, though.
164
00:06:17,422 --> 00:06:19,123
I left Michael at the gas station
165
00:06:19,191 --> 00:06:20,124
on Bennett.
166
00:06:20,192 --> 00:06:21,492
Understood.
167
00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,361
And his wallet and phone are
on the seat next to him.
168
00:06:23,428 --> 00:06:24,962
Got it.
169
00:06:25,030 --> 00:06:26,831
I will put out an A.P.B.
170
00:06:26,899 --> 00:06:29,901
otherwise known as
an "Ask Pam Beasley."
171
00:06:32,871 --> 00:06:33,804
Did the phone cut out?
172
00:06:33,872 --> 00:06:35,072
Nope.
173
00:06:35,140 --> 00:06:37,074
All right, just call me
after the doctor.
174
00:06:37,142 --> 00:06:38,142
- Okay.
- All right, bye.
175
00:06:38,210 --> 00:06:39,143
Bye.
176
00:06:39,211 --> 00:06:40,411
I know, I know.
177
00:06:40,479 --> 00:06:41,913
You have a phone policy.
I understand.
178
00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:43,080
But this is an emergency,
179
00:06:43,148 --> 00:06:44,448
because my friend isn't here,
180
00:06:44,516 --> 00:06:48,286
and I'm worried
that he has been abducted.
181
00:06:48,353 --> 00:06:49,854
- No.
- And... and...
182
00:06:49,922 --> 00:06:52,323
No, he ditched you, man.
I saw him drive away.
183
00:06:52,391 --> 00:06:54,125
There's no way he ditched me.
184
00:06:54,192 --> 00:06:55,459
There's no way that happened.
185
00:06:55,527 --> 00:06:56,827
He's my... Okay.
186
00:06:56,895 --> 00:06:58,429
May I please just
use your phone? Please.
187
00:06:58,497 --> 00:06:59,530
Just make it quick.
188
00:06:59,598 --> 00:07:00,865
Thank you. Okay.
189
00:07:00,933 --> 00:07:03,234
I will make it quick.
I will make it very quick.
190
00:07:03,302 --> 00:07:06,737
And you don't have my numbers
on speed dial.
191
00:07:06,805 --> 00:07:09,807
Aah, okay, what is it?
192
00:07:09,875 --> 00:07:10,808
You don't know.
193
00:07:10,876 --> 00:07:11,976
- Oh, co... come...
- You don't.
194
00:07:12,044 --> 00:07:13,144
You know what?
195
00:07:13,211 --> 00:07:14,345
I could dial 411,
get Jim's number...
196
00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:17,782
He left you here
on purpose, all right?
197
00:07:17,849 --> 00:07:19,016
I saw it.
198
00:07:19,084 --> 00:07:20,484
He just drove away.
199
00:07:20,552 --> 00:07:22,019
Actually, this is good.
200
00:07:22,087 --> 00:07:25,022
I am going
to take this opportunity
201
00:07:25,090 --> 00:07:29,193
to go walkabout.
202
00:07:29,261 --> 00:07:32,797
Good, good.
203
00:07:32,864 --> 00:07:34,298
No, get away.
204
00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:37,969
No. That's enough.
205
00:07:38,036 --> 00:07:41,372
Okay.
206
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,007
Okay.
207
00:07:43,075 --> 00:07:44,809
It's the gas station
on Bennett Street?
208
00:07:44,876 --> 00:07:45,810
Yeah.
209
00:07:45,877 --> 00:07:46,911
You know what?
210
00:07:46,979 --> 00:07:48,079
Why don't you stay and I'll go?
211
00:07:48,146 --> 00:07:49,347
Oh, no, no, no, I'll be fine.
212
00:07:49,414 --> 00:07:51,115
It's kind of a sketchy
neighborhood, though.
213
00:07:51,183 --> 00:07:52,116
I better come along.
214
00:07:52,184 --> 00:07:54,085
Problem solved, everyone.
215
00:07:54,152 --> 00:07:55,987
Space Orphan
and Princess Nincompoop
216
00:07:56,054 --> 00:07:57,188
are off to rescue Michael.
217
00:07:57,255 --> 00:07:59,457
Unbelievable.
I'm going.
218
00:07:59,524 --> 00:08:01,459
You drive.
I got a car full of fox meat.
219
00:08:05,564 --> 00:08:07,732
Cute.
220
00:08:12,237 --> 00:08:14,005
Very funny, everyone.
221
00:08:14,072 --> 00:08:16,941
Who wrote captions
under my doodle?
222
00:08:17,009 --> 00:08:19,043
I'm not even kidding.
They're pretty good.
223
00:08:19,111 --> 00:08:20,878
- Which one in particular?
- Yeah, which one?
224
00:08:20,946 --> 00:08:23,948
Well, the first one
has a surprise factor.
225
00:08:24,016 --> 00:08:26,217
"I'm a suck-suck-suckety Sabre."
226
00:08:26,284 --> 00:08:27,218
Boo-yah!
227
00:08:27,285 --> 00:08:29,120
No. No, no.
228
00:08:29,187 --> 00:08:30,221
No, no, no.
229
00:08:30,288 --> 00:08:32,323
But, uh, I suppose the second one
230
00:08:32,391 --> 00:08:33,524
is the better written line.
231
00:08:33,592 --> 00:08:35,993
- You suppose?
- What's it say?
232
00:08:36,061 --> 00:08:37,595
"I'm supposed
to be wearing red gloves,
233
00:08:37,663 --> 00:08:40,431
but my color cartridge portal
got jammed again."
234
00:08:40,499 --> 00:08:43,034
Okay, no, no, no, no, no.
235
00:08:43,101 --> 00:08:44,268
Gloves.
236
00:08:44,336 --> 00:08:45,703
Keep it real.
237
00:08:45,771 --> 00:08:47,605
You guys, if I knew you
wanted to do a caption contest,
238
00:08:47,673 --> 00:08:49,373
I would have drawn
something more challenging.
239
00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:51,842
- And I will take you all down.
- You?
240
00:08:51,910 --> 00:08:53,377
I been reading
the comics to my daughter
241
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,046
since she was three years old.
242
00:08:55,113 --> 00:08:57,615
Not once have I used the real
captions to Family Circus.
243
00:08:57,683 --> 00:09:00,251
That crazy family is hilarious
to her for one reason...
244
00:09:00,318 --> 00:09:01,619
Me.
245
00:09:01,687 --> 00:09:03,154
Oh, it is on
246
00:09:03,221 --> 00:09:06,290
like Genghis Khan
wearing Sean John in Bhutan.
247
00:09:06,358 --> 00:09:09,093
Yes. You guys,
I have the perfect idea.
248
00:09:09,161 --> 00:09:10,561
Okay, it'll just
take me ten minutes.
249
00:09:10,629 --> 00:09:12,029
- Whoo-hoo!
- All right.
250
00:09:12,097 --> 00:09:13,097
I want to do it.
251
00:09:13,165 --> 00:09:15,966
Male, Caucasian, 40s, black hair,
252
00:09:16,034 --> 00:09:18,736
facial type marsupial.
253
00:09:18,804 --> 00:09:21,005
He answers to Michael,
Michael G. Scott,
254
00:09:21,073 --> 00:09:23,240
Michael J. Fox, Mr. Fox,
the Incredible Mr. Fox.
255
00:09:23,308 --> 00:09:25,509
- Yeah, he just left.
- Which way did he go?
256
00:09:25,577 --> 00:09:27,778
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
let me answer this.
257
00:09:27,846 --> 00:09:29,947
Stupid question.
He went back to the office,
258
00:09:30,015 --> 00:09:31,148
obviously, which is that way.
259
00:09:31,216 --> 00:09:32,283
Oh, really?
260
00:09:32,350 --> 00:09:33,851
You don't think
he walked by that bakery
261
00:09:33,919 --> 00:09:35,386
just for the smell of it?
262
00:09:35,454 --> 00:09:38,689
She's right.
He went that way.
263
00:09:38,757 --> 00:09:40,791
All right.
264
00:09:40,859 --> 00:09:44,595
Don't get a swelled head.
You're no tracker.
265
00:09:44,663 --> 00:09:46,664
Let's ride.
266
00:10:02,984 --> 00:10:04,918
Hey, you guys.
Listen to me.
267
00:10:04,986 --> 00:10:06,887
Don't get hung up
on just one girl,
268
00:10:06,955 --> 00:10:09,723
because there are a lot
of other girls over there.
269
00:10:09,791 --> 00:10:12,225
Look over there.
See?
270
00:10:12,293 --> 00:10:14,828
They look cute.
271
00:10:14,896 --> 00:10:15,829
Hello.
272
00:10:15,897 --> 00:10:18,031
You guys are so beautiful.
273
00:10:18,099 --> 00:10:20,467
You're so colorful.
274
00:10:20,535 --> 00:10:22,469
I wish I could understand you.
275
00:10:22,537 --> 00:10:24,671
That's a metaphor, I guess.
276
00:10:24,739 --> 00:10:26,640
You are disgusting.
277
00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:28,875
You'll never find love.
278
00:10:28,943 --> 00:10:30,143
Lecch.
279
00:10:30,211 --> 00:10:31,612
Do you think she needs more time,
280
00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:33,046
or it's just never gonna happen?
281
00:10:33,114 --> 00:10:35,449
I'm being serious.
Seriously.
282
00:10:35,516 --> 00:10:36,583
Dunder Mifflin.
This is Pam.
283
00:10:36,651 --> 00:10:37,851
Has Michael checked in?
284
00:10:37,919 --> 00:10:40,354
- Oh, hey, Dwight.
- I asked you a question.
285
00:10:40,421 --> 00:10:42,456
- No, he hasn't.
- Okay, bye.
286
00:10:42,523 --> 00:10:44,291
No, wait, um, hey,
while you're out,
287
00:10:44,359 --> 00:10:46,326
could you pick up some paper
towels and chocolate syrup?
288
00:10:46,394 --> 00:10:47,995
We have ice cream,
so I thought we could...
289
00:10:48,062 --> 00:10:49,329
Pam, this isn't a shopping trip.
290
00:10:49,397 --> 00:10:51,131
This is a manhunt-slash-rescue
mission.
291
00:10:51,199 --> 00:10:52,532
Okay, I just...
292
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,368
When you're done,
or any time it's convenient,
293
00:10:54,435 --> 00:10:55,769
I just thought
since you're out...
294
00:10:55,837 --> 00:10:57,704
Pam, I'm obviously
gonna get that stuff for you,
295
00:10:57,772 --> 00:10:58,905
so just shut up.
God.
296
00:10:58,973 --> 00:11:01,575
Okay, well, it wasn't ob...
297
00:11:01,643 --> 00:11:02,943
No word from Michael.
298
00:11:05,213 --> 00:11:06,813
Tada.
299
00:11:06,881 --> 00:11:11,918
Okay, it's two giant dogs
with two giant palm trees
300
00:11:11,986 --> 00:11:13,353
on a regular-sized island.
301
00:11:13,421 --> 00:11:14,621
- Oh, I got one.
- Yeah?
302
00:11:14,689 --> 00:11:16,657
- Yes.
- Okay, I'm sorry,
303
00:11:16,724 --> 00:11:18,291
but I'm gonna have
to shut this down.
304
00:11:18,359 --> 00:11:20,327
- Boo.
- Why?
305
00:11:20,395 --> 00:11:22,095
Unless we can all agree
to some ground rules.
306
00:11:22,163 --> 00:11:25,032
It's either that
or I can fax this to Jo
307
00:11:25,099 --> 00:11:26,633
and let her decide
how to proceed.
308
00:11:26,701 --> 00:11:29,202
Gabe, tell us your stupid rules
309
00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:30,604
so we can start the game.
310
00:11:30,672 --> 00:11:32,205
Number one,
and this should be obvious,
311
00:11:32,273 --> 00:11:34,641
no captions that insult
the company we work for.
312
00:11:34,709 --> 00:11:36,410
Irony is such a critical...
313
00:11:36,477 --> 00:11:40,681
Number two,
no pop culture references.
314
00:11:40,748 --> 00:11:42,949
- Seriously?
- Wow.
315
00:11:43,017 --> 00:11:44,451
I think we can all agree
316
00:11:44,519 --> 00:11:46,486
they tend to alienate those
who don't get the reference,
317
00:11:46,554 --> 00:11:47,688
making them feel like the other.
318
00:11:47,755 --> 00:11:49,122
Wrap it up, Gabe.
319
00:11:49,190 --> 00:11:51,558
Okay, final thing,
and this is a fun one,
320
00:11:51,626 --> 00:11:55,495
instead of writing the caption
directly under the picture,
321
00:11:55,563 --> 00:11:57,431
let's all try using sticky quips.
322
00:11:57,498 --> 00:12:00,167
All right?
New from Dunder Mifflin-Sabre.
323
00:12:00,234 --> 00:12:03,970
Sticky quips are fun,
they're safe, they're handy.
324
00:12:04,038 --> 00:12:06,440
I like to use sticky quips
as regular post-it notes
325
00:12:06,507 --> 00:12:08,175
when I'm in a fun mood.
326
00:12:08,242 --> 00:12:09,843
Not every day.
327
00:12:09,911 --> 00:12:11,678
Go get 'em.
Start quipping.
328
00:12:14,515 --> 00:12:16,183
Pam, I think
I'm gonna send you an I.M.
329
00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:18,085
Oh, okay.
330
00:12:18,152 --> 00:12:19,286
Send me one too.
331
00:12:19,353 --> 00:12:20,620
Yeah, yeah, yeah, put me on that.
332
00:12:20,688 --> 00:12:23,423
- C.C.
- Ditto.
333
00:12:23,491 --> 00:12:25,492
Hello.
334
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:27,327
I would like a hot dog, please.
335
00:12:27,395 --> 00:12:28,895
Now, I don't have any money,
336
00:12:28,963 --> 00:12:31,698
so here is what
I would like to do.
337
00:12:31,766 --> 00:12:34,101
I leave you here with my watch,
338
00:12:34,168 --> 00:12:36,670
and I come back later
and I pay for the hotdog.
339
00:12:36,738 --> 00:12:38,105
I'm not a pawn shop.
340
00:12:38,172 --> 00:12:41,942
Well, I understand that,
but this is a $45 watch.
341
00:12:42,009 --> 00:12:42,943
Wow.
342
00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:44,711
With that, I could buy...
343
00:12:44,779 --> 00:12:45,879
Half the menu.
344
00:12:45,947 --> 00:12:47,481
I can't just go
giving away hotdogs.
345
00:12:47,548 --> 00:12:48,849
All right.
346
00:12:48,916 --> 00:12:51,051
What do you do with the hotdogs
that you don't sell?
347
00:12:51,119 --> 00:12:52,419
Throw 'em away.
348
00:12:52,487 --> 00:12:54,454
Well, okay, instead of
throwing them all away later,
349
00:12:54,522 --> 00:12:56,256
why don't you just throw
one away now into my mouth.
350
00:12:56,324 --> 00:12:57,357
No.
351
00:12:57,425 --> 00:13:00,727
Okay.
You've just lost my business.
352
00:13:08,703 --> 00:13:09,903
Hey.
353
00:13:09,971 --> 00:13:11,204
Hey, you were in there forever.
354
00:13:11,272 --> 00:13:13,073
There's too many brands.
Where's Holly?
355
00:13:13,141 --> 00:13:15,942
She wandered off like an idiot.
356
00:13:16,010 --> 00:13:16,943
- Hey.
- Hey.
357
00:13:17,011 --> 00:13:18,145
What are you doing?
358
00:13:18,212 --> 00:13:20,046
Oh, just changing
my cell phone plan.
359
00:13:20,114 --> 00:13:22,282
Okay. Okay.
Here you go.
360
00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:24,351
I'll take my free
stress ball too now.
361
00:13:24,418 --> 00:13:26,186
Sure thing.
Here you go, miss...
362
00:13:26,254 --> 00:13:28,155
Okay, Fanny Smellmore.
363
00:13:28,222 --> 00:13:30,490
- Real original.
- What?
364
00:13:30,558 --> 00:13:32,726
You know what? Say hi
to Orville Tootenbacher for me.
365
00:13:32,794 --> 00:13:34,461
Tootenbacher.
366
00:13:34,529 --> 00:13:35,796
Orville Tootenbacher,
367
00:13:35,863 --> 00:13:37,097
that's Michael's
millionaire character that...
368
00:13:37,165 --> 00:13:38,732
Farts popcorn.
369
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,600
Of course. He was here.
370
00:13:40,668 --> 00:13:44,471
She's the key. Amazing.
371
00:13:44,539 --> 00:13:46,339
Holly.
372
00:13:46,407 --> 00:13:49,843
Hey, where would you
like to go next?
373
00:13:49,911 --> 00:13:53,513
Holly?
374
00:13:53,581 --> 00:13:56,783
Are their egg rolls
really that big?
375
00:13:56,851 --> 00:13:59,519
Oh, boy.
That was yummy.
376
00:13:59,587 --> 00:14:01,562
Thank you so much.
377
00:14:08,329 --> 00:14:10,764
You know what? I think
I left my wallet in my car.
378
00:14:10,832 --> 00:14:12,065
Do you mind
if I run out and get it?
379
00:14:12,133 --> 00:14:13,133
- No problem.
- Okay.
380
00:14:13,201 --> 00:14:20,473
I'll be right back.
381
00:14:20,541 --> 00:14:22,976
Okay, you know what?
382
00:14:23,044 --> 00:14:26,079
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
383
00:14:26,147 --> 00:14:30,050
I don't have my wallet.
And I was...
384
00:14:30,117 --> 00:14:31,885
I was gonna try to dine and dash,
385
00:14:31,953 --> 00:14:33,353
and that was stupid,
386
00:14:33,421 --> 00:14:35,622
and I realize I can't do that
to you fine people.
387
00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:37,123
So you can't pay for your food?
388
00:14:37,191 --> 00:14:39,960
Well, I can, but I will have
to come back later tonight
389
00:14:40,027 --> 00:14:41,962
and pay you.
390
00:14:42,029 --> 00:14:44,197
But the point is
I did the right thing.
391
00:14:44,265 --> 00:14:45,532
You did not.
392
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:46,666
You have no money,
393
00:14:46,734 --> 00:14:48,134
but you dined,
and you dined so much.
394
00:14:48,202 --> 00:14:51,538
Well, the number three
is not such a giant feast.
395
00:14:51,606 --> 00:14:52,639
Mr. Chu!
396
00:14:52,707 --> 00:14:54,875
Okay, all right.
You know what?
397
00:14:54,942 --> 00:14:57,244
You're trying
to steal food from us?
398
00:14:57,311 --> 00:14:58,345
I am not.
399
00:14:58,412 --> 00:15:00,213
I just have had a bad day,
400
00:15:00,281 --> 00:15:03,717
and I...
Okay.
401
00:15:03,784 --> 00:15:05,018
I'll be back later
with the money.
402
00:15:05,086 --> 00:15:06,186
I'm just gonna leave right now.
403
00:15:06,254 --> 00:15:07,387
You can't.
We'll stop you.
404
00:15:07,455 --> 00:15:09,956
Well, I think
I can get through the door.
405
00:15:16,807 --> 00:15:18,976
Excuse me.
Do you speak English?
406
00:15:19,234 --> 00:15:21,168
We are looking for a man,
407
00:15:21,236 --> 00:15:24,605
Michael, this tall,
black hair, Caucasian.
408
00:15:24,672 --> 00:15:26,707
It's Michael!
409
00:15:29,778 --> 00:15:31,779
He just left.
410
00:15:31,846 --> 00:15:33,947
- You knew!
- What?
411
00:15:34,015 --> 00:15:35,682
No. Dwight asked
if I wanted an egg roll.
412
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:37,384
What... What are you
implying?
413
00:15:37,452 --> 00:15:40,320
Uncanny.
Put a pin in that.
414
00:15:40,388 --> 00:15:42,356
Which way did he go?
415
00:15:42,423 --> 00:15:44,925
That guy!
When he leave here,
416
00:15:44,993 --> 00:15:47,861
which way did he go?
We looking for him.
417
00:15:47,929 --> 00:15:49,997
This way, this way, this way?
I don't know.
418
00:15:50,064 --> 00:15:51,431
Do you know?
419
00:15:51,499 --> 00:15:53,133
I think he was heading downtown.
420
00:15:55,170 --> 00:15:56,870
He's heading downtown.
421
00:16:02,143 --> 00:16:03,844
So what, no one's even gonna try?
422
00:16:03,912 --> 00:16:06,013
- Guess not.
- Oh, come on.
423
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,816
My rules could not possibly
have been that oppressive.
424
00:16:08,883 --> 00:16:10,818
You crushed our spirits, Gabe.
425
00:16:10,885 --> 00:16:13,687
Congrats.
You're a big man, huh?
426
00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:16,456
Takes a lot to destroy
the creativity
427
00:16:16,524 --> 00:16:18,158
of a whole group of people.
428
00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:27,301
Hey...
429
00:16:30,038 --> 00:16:32,873
Click the "x".
430
00:16:32,941 --> 00:16:34,208
- I'm clicking!
- In the box.
431
00:16:34,275 --> 00:16:35,676
I am clicking.
432
00:16:35,743 --> 00:16:37,311
Woman, you've had
a computer for years!
433
00:16:37,378 --> 00:16:38,712
- Phyllis!
- Too late!
434
00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:41,849
Oh. Ha.
An I.M. chat.
435
00:16:41,916 --> 00:16:43,417
Very clever.
436
00:16:43,484 --> 00:16:46,086
I'll just print that out.
437
00:16:46,154 --> 00:16:47,554
Come on, guys.
Grow up.
438
00:16:47,622 --> 00:16:50,991
I don't want to be
your babysitter.
439
00:16:53,561 --> 00:16:55,229
Ooh.
440
00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:12,112
"Darn it, Bob,
I told you not to buy
441
00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:13,513
a Sabre brand lifeboat."
442
00:17:15,216 --> 00:17:17,184
- Nice!
- No, not nice.
443
00:17:17,252 --> 00:17:18,719
Terrible.
444
00:17:18,786 --> 00:17:20,721
Doesn't even include
the fact that they're dogs.
445
00:17:20,788 --> 00:17:22,689
- Do the next one.
- "Wake up, Fred.
446
00:17:22,757 --> 00:17:24,591
"The power cord
on your Sabre printer
447
00:17:24,659 --> 00:17:26,226
"shocked you into a coma,
448
00:17:26,294 --> 00:17:28,228
and you're dreaming you're a dog
on a desert island."
449
00:17:28,296 --> 00:17:31,498
Dreaming he's a dog on an island.
450
00:17:31,566 --> 00:17:33,000
Uh, excuse me, excuse me.
451
00:17:33,067 --> 00:17:35,435
How does the speaker know what
the guy in the coma is dreaming?
452
00:17:35,503 --> 00:17:36,970
Well, if you think
it's so easy, Gabe,
453
00:17:37,038 --> 00:17:39,106
- why don't you try it?
- Um...
454
00:17:39,173 --> 00:17:42,175
You don't have to sniff
my rear end anymore, Bob.
455
00:17:42,243 --> 00:17:44,011
I'm the only one here.
Ha.
456
00:17:44,078 --> 00:17:45,279
That's tasteless, Gabe.
457
00:17:45,346 --> 00:17:46,880
- Tasteless?
- Tasteless.
458
00:17:46,948 --> 00:17:47,948
More tasteless than this?
459
00:17:48,016 --> 00:17:49,316
"Is that a palm tree,
460
00:17:49,384 --> 00:17:50,817
"or did Gabe get skinner?
461
00:17:50,885 --> 00:17:52,052
Either way, let's pee on it.
462
00:17:56,190 --> 00:17:58,725
Ladies and gentlemen,
I think we have a winner.
463
00:17:58,793 --> 00:18:00,427
- Yes.
- Yes. Well done!
464
00:18:00,495 --> 00:18:02,262
Whose is it?
Who wrote that?
465
00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:04,932
Yeah.
Who wrote it?
466
00:18:07,335 --> 00:18:09,002
Please. It was easy
once I decided
467
00:18:09,070 --> 00:18:12,306
I wanted the dog to piss on Gabe.
468
00:18:12,373 --> 00:18:13,941
Where did he go, Holly?
469
00:18:14,008 --> 00:18:15,475
I have no idea.
470
00:18:15,543 --> 00:18:18,245
Do you see a little clown
that you wanna follow, huh?
471
00:18:18,313 --> 00:18:20,113
Is there a little bird
that's chirping to you,
472
00:18:20,181 --> 00:18:21,214
"this way, this way."
473
00:18:21,282 --> 00:18:22,783
I don't know.
474
00:18:22,850 --> 00:18:24,051
Okay. Close your eyes.
475
00:18:24,118 --> 00:18:25,919
We need you to think.
476
00:18:25,987 --> 00:18:27,287
What is Michael seeing right now?
477
00:18:27,355 --> 00:18:29,323
Can you tell him
that we miss him?
478
00:18:29,390 --> 00:18:30,557
Michael, we're coming for you!
479
00:18:30,625 --> 00:18:31,625
Will you stop?
480
00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:33,160
There have been
a few coincidences...
481
00:18:33,227 --> 00:18:34,161
That's all!
482
00:18:34,228 --> 00:18:35,796
All right, then.
483
00:18:35,863 --> 00:18:37,931
- Someone propose a plan.
- Okay.
484
00:18:37,999 --> 00:18:40,434
- We fan out...
- Not you, Erin.
485
00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:43,937
Stop looking at me like that.
486
00:18:44,005 --> 00:18:45,906
Okay, look, let's just
go up somewhere high
487
00:18:45,974 --> 00:18:48,175
and see if we could spot him
on the street below.
488
00:18:48,242 --> 00:18:50,978
That is the stupidest idea
I've ever heard. No.
489
00:18:51,045 --> 00:18:54,014
Tap into your common mind and
tell us what he would do next.
490
00:18:54,082 --> 00:18:57,484
Look, I'm not playing.
I'm gonna go look for him.
491
00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:01,254
- Good. We don't need her.
- Right.
492
00:19:01,322 --> 00:19:03,690
I can do this on my own.
I can think like Michael.
493
00:19:03,758 --> 00:19:06,026
All right...
494
00:19:06,094 --> 00:19:08,395
I'm deep below the ocean's
surface in a submarine.
495
00:19:08,463 --> 00:19:10,597
A torpedo's coming right at me.
496
00:19:10,665 --> 00:19:13,700
No. Damn it, that's just
my own imagination.
497
00:19:15,336 --> 00:19:16,603
Maybe he's bowling.
498
00:19:51,472 --> 00:19:53,473
Michael?
499
00:19:56,044 --> 00:19:57,010
Hi.
500
00:19:59,447 --> 00:20:01,982
How did you know I was up here?
501
00:20:02,050 --> 00:20:03,483
What are you doing up here?
502
00:20:03,551 --> 00:20:04,684
I got turned around.
503
00:20:04,752 --> 00:20:06,386
I thought I could see
Dunder Mifflin.
504
00:20:06,454 --> 00:20:08,055
Dunder Mifflin?
505
00:20:08,122 --> 00:20:09,523
Yeah.
506
00:20:09,590 --> 00:20:13,160
Wow!
507
00:20:15,730 --> 00:20:18,698
I just miss you so much.
508
00:20:23,271 --> 00:20:25,138
I missed you too.
509
00:20:25,206 --> 00:20:27,340
Really?
510
00:20:27,408 --> 00:20:30,143
Yeah.
511
00:20:32,346 --> 00:20:33,680
Can I kiss you?
512
00:20:33,748 --> 00:20:36,283
- Yeah.
- Okay.
513
00:20:36,856 --> 00:20:45,219
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
514
00:20:45,556 --> 00:20:47,556
Maybe that's not the best one.
Keep reading.
515
00:20:47,676 --> 00:20:49,176
- Yeah, it was.
- Maybe it wasn't.
516
00:20:49,296 --> 00:20:53,424
Oh, thank God, I had a horrible nightmare
that I was stuck in America with Gabe.
517
00:20:56,014 --> 00:20:58,345
No, that's not the one I was thinking of.
Keep going.
518
00:20:58,465 --> 00:20:59,702
I know what it smells like
519
00:20:59,751 --> 00:21:01,085
but I didn't roll in anything,
520
00:21:01,205 --> 00:21:03,990
It's from listening
to all of Gabe's bullshit.
521
00:21:05,371 --> 00:21:07,920
Isn't this the perfect
romantic getaway, Erin?
522
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,836
Sitting on a desert island
in dog costumes?
523
00:21:10,956 --> 00:21:13,162
I'm Gabe and... I'm a weirdo.
524
00:21:14,873 --> 00:21:16,203
Gabe's mom...
525
00:21:16,323 --> 00:21:18,048
Mm, Gabe's mom?
526
00:21:18,168 --> 00:21:20,875
Wait, tall woman?
Looks like Gabe?
527
00:21:22,310 --> 00:21:23,591
Yeah, I banged her.
528
00:21:23,711 --> 00:21:25,871
Yeah, there you go.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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