1
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:07,820
I have the best stock
survival shelter
2
00:00:07,956 --> 00:00:09,532
in north eastern Pennsylvania.
3
00:00:09,900 --> 00:00:11,005
But everything is a **life.
4
00:00:11,148 --> 00:00:12,748
So I must eat and then replace
5
00:00:12,838 --> 00:00:14,341
everything that is
about to expire.
6
00:00:15,124 --> 00:00:16,523
It's nice not to have
to plan my meals.
7
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,523
You're eating
eight-year-old tomatoes.
8
00:00:19,607 --> 00:00:21,141
They're still good
for another week.
9
00:00:21,192 --> 00:00:22,776
You know, I think
I might have some type of cheese
10
00:00:22,844 --> 00:00:24,278
in the back of my fridge
you might like.
11
00:00:24,345 --> 00:00:26,180
I've got some cheese
you might like too...
12
00:00:26,247 --> 00:00:27,981
In between my toes.
13
00:00:29,718 --> 00:00:31,568
Hardy-har-har.
All right, picture this.
14
00:00:31,636 --> 00:00:34,088
Snowy Ash drizzles
from the sky.
15
00:00:34,155 --> 00:00:36,123
A rabid pack of dogs
surrounds you
16
00:00:36,174 --> 00:00:38,592
as the flame at the end
of your stick dies out.
17
00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:40,327
There's only one hope left
for you...
18
00:00:40,378 --> 00:00:41,512
the door to my shelter.
19
00:00:41,596 --> 00:00:43,163
You pound.
You beg.
20
00:00:43,231 --> 00:00:44,631
"Dwight, please let me in."
21
00:00:44,682 --> 00:00:46,550
But I ignore your cries
and do not let you in.
22
00:00:46,634 --> 00:00:48,535
You want to know why?
Because of the sign
23
00:00:48,603 --> 00:00:49,836
that says, "no pounding.
No begging."
24
00:00:49,888 --> 00:00:51,939
No.
Because you laughed at me.
25
00:00:52,006 --> 00:00:54,775
Kevin will be eaten.
Pam will be taken slave.
26
00:00:54,843 --> 00:00:57,644
Jim will be made
a warlord's Jester.
27
00:00:57,712 --> 00:00:59,279
Meredith will do okay.
28
00:00:59,347 --> 00:01:01,982
Be assured this day will come.
It's just a matter of time.
29
00:01:02,050 --> 00:01:03,784
Could be one month,
could be two months.
30
00:01:03,852 --> 00:01:04,952
Three months.
31
00:01:05,019 --> 00:01:08,021
- Could be.
- Four months.
32
00:01:08,073 --> 00:01:10,057
I could see
that happening, yes.
33
00:01:10,125 --> 00:01:11,525
Eight months?
34
00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:13,560
That's a realistic timeline.
35
00:01:13,628 --> 00:01:16,930
11 months.
36
00:01:16,998 --> 00:01:18,899
Perhaps.
37
00:01:18,967 --> 00:01:22,202
Okay, wait, now really think
hard about this one.
38
00:01:22,270 --> 00:01:24,938
One year.
39
00:01:25,006 --> 00:01:27,057
I could see that
as a very real possibility.
40
00:01:27,142 --> 00:01:28,776
494 months.
41
00:01:28,843 --> 00:01:31,145
I could see that happening.
42
00:01:31,212 --> 00:01:34,214
495 months.
That's just...
43
00:01:52,289 --> 00:01:54,914
Sync by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
44
00:01:55,736 --> 00:01:57,504
I really thought I was becoming
45
00:01:57,572 --> 00:01:59,039
too much of a womanizer.
46
00:01:59,106 --> 00:02:01,841
I realized I had shirts in
five different women's houses.
47
00:02:01,909 --> 00:02:03,076
Still not seeing
the problem there.
48
00:02:03,144 --> 00:02:04,411
All right.
49
00:02:04,478 --> 00:02:07,647
Truth is, I got a couple
love bumps on my ding-dong,
50
00:02:07,698 --> 00:02:09,649
so I was like,
"oh, game over."
51
00:02:09,717 --> 00:02:11,668
It was the best of times.
52
00:02:11,752 --> 00:02:13,687
It was the "awesomest"
of times.
53
00:02:13,754 --> 00:02:16,756
And now packer
wants to come home.
54
00:02:16,824 --> 00:02:19,593
And, oh, look who's here
to sign off on it...
55
00:02:19,660 --> 00:02:22,195
my boo, Holly.
56
00:02:22,263 --> 00:02:25,332
Hi.
Hi.
57
00:02:25,399 --> 00:02:26,516
You must be Todd.
58
00:02:26,601 --> 00:02:28,852
Whoa, I'm sorry.
Michael, I thought
59
00:02:28,936 --> 00:02:31,054
we were meeting Holly today,
not Jennifer Aniston.
60
00:02:31,138 --> 00:02:33,690
Very funny.
61
00:02:33,774 --> 00:02:35,442
Okay, let's get started.
After you.
62
00:02:35,509 --> 00:02:38,345
Okay.
63
00:02:40,414 --> 00:02:41,848
Oh, Michael,
this'll be just us.
64
00:02:41,916 --> 00:02:43,283
Ah, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
65
00:02:43,351 --> 00:02:46,853
Just so you know,
he's at his funniest
66
00:02:46,904 --> 00:02:48,622
when you've given him,
like, five shots.
67
00:02:48,689 --> 00:02:50,240
- Okay.
- And it also helps
68
00:02:50,324 --> 00:02:52,742
if you've had five shots.
I already have.
69
00:02:57,431 --> 00:02:58,465
Why is packer back?
70
00:02:58,532 --> 00:02:59,599
Oh, is packer here?
71
00:02:59,667 --> 00:03:01,067
Why is he talking to Holly?
72
00:03:01,135 --> 00:03:02,302
Don't know, don't care.
73
00:03:02,370 --> 00:03:03,470
Michael loves you,
74
00:03:03,537 --> 00:03:05,589
and your sales speak
for themselves.
75
00:03:05,673 --> 00:03:09,309
So...
Oh!
76
00:03:09,376 --> 00:03:11,311
Yes!
The pack is back.
77
00:03:11,379 --> 00:03:14,147
Ladies and gentlemen,
I would like to introduce you
78
00:03:14,215 --> 00:03:15,982
to a man who needs
no introduction,
79
00:03:16,050 --> 00:03:18,318
probably because most of you
have done it with him.
80
00:03:18,386 --> 00:03:20,654
Just kidding. He wouldn't be
interested in any of you.
81
00:03:20,721 --> 00:03:22,122
In all seriousness,
82
00:03:22,189 --> 00:03:24,824
Todd packer
is a permanent salesman
83
00:03:24,892 --> 00:03:26,259
at this branch.
84
00:03:26,327 --> 00:03:28,695
And I would like to invite you
now to welcome him
85
00:03:28,746 --> 00:03:29,996
with open arms.
Yes!
86
00:03:30,064 --> 00:03:32,165
What?
87
00:03:32,232 --> 00:03:33,917
It's great to be among friends.
88
00:03:34,001 --> 00:03:37,087
And until then,
you suckers will do.
89
00:03:37,171 --> 00:03:38,622
Nice.
90
00:03:38,706 --> 00:03:40,423
We got burned.
You did.
91
00:03:40,508 --> 00:03:42,792
You got burned,
because packer's back.
92
00:03:42,877 --> 00:03:46,279
Packer is turning in his car
for a desk.
93
00:03:46,347 --> 00:03:50,467
He is turning in his condoms
for a condominium,
94
00:03:50,551 --> 00:03:52,352
although he's probably going
to have to use condoms
95
00:03:52,420 --> 00:03:54,187
from here on out.
Holly...
96
00:03:54,254 --> 00:03:56,022
You approved this?
Yes, I did.
97
00:03:56,090 --> 00:03:58,475
I think Todd's gonna make
a great addition to the staff.
98
00:03:58,559 --> 00:04:00,527
- You did approve it?
- Yeah.
99
00:04:00,594 --> 00:04:03,446
What don't you understand
about the word "approved"?
100
00:04:03,531 --> 00:04:05,115
It seems a couple of you
101
00:04:05,199 --> 00:04:07,867
don't know what the word
"approved" means.
102
00:04:07,935 --> 00:04:11,938
I have very little patience
for stupidity.
103
00:04:12,006 --> 00:04:14,307
Sorry we're late.
Gabe fell in the shower.
104
00:04:14,375 --> 00:04:15,809
Such a klutz.
105
00:04:15,876 --> 00:04:18,444
Yeah, and it took the fire
department forever to get there.
106
00:04:18,496 --> 00:04:21,881
Oh, my God.
Where did this come from?
107
00:04:21,949 --> 00:04:23,383
Who did this?
108
00:04:23,450 --> 00:04:24,851
I got Erin a new computer
109
00:04:24,919 --> 00:04:27,020
because the one
at reception sucked.
110
00:04:27,088 --> 00:04:28,321
I should know.
111
00:04:28,389 --> 00:04:30,590
And I don't want to say
the other one was old,
112
00:04:30,658 --> 00:04:33,993
but its I.P. Number was one.
113
00:04:34,061 --> 00:04:36,696
Right?
114
00:04:36,764 --> 00:04:37,814
Thank you, Pam.
115
00:04:37,898 --> 00:04:39,332
Aw, you're welcome.
116
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,685
My pleasure.
117
00:04:49,026 --> 00:04:50,193
Can I do something for you?
118
00:04:50,277 --> 00:04:52,345
I just helped someone out.
It feels good.
119
00:04:52,413 --> 00:04:53,980
Nice.
120
00:04:54,031 --> 00:04:56,049
You know, I cleaned up
our daughter for, like, an hour
121
00:04:56,117 --> 00:04:57,650
at 4:00 A.M.
This morning, so...
122
00:04:57,718 --> 00:04:59,152
So you know the feeling.
123
00:05:01,322 --> 00:05:03,206
Special delivery
for Dwight k. Schrute.
124
00:05:03,290 --> 00:05:04,290
I didn't order anything.
125
00:05:04,341 --> 00:05:05,658
And I don't have anything
for you.
126
00:05:05,710 --> 00:05:07,627
But I do want to talk to you
about something.
127
00:05:07,678 --> 00:05:09,596
We have been thinking
about where packer should sit,
128
00:05:09,663 --> 00:05:12,165
and we can't just sit around
waiting for creed to die.
129
00:05:12,233 --> 00:05:14,401
Well, there's a lot of seats
in the annex.
130
00:05:14,468 --> 00:05:16,636
So you wouldn't mind
permanently relocating
131
00:05:16,704 --> 00:05:18,738
so that packer can take
this desk here.
132
00:05:18,806 --> 00:05:21,107
Thanks, man.
It would mean a lot to me.
133
00:05:21,175 --> 00:05:23,877
I've been sitting here
for ten years, Michael.
134
00:05:23,944 --> 00:05:25,979
Well, I was there for 12 years.
135
00:05:26,046 --> 00:05:27,847
Plus, my name's carved
under the desk.
136
00:05:27,898 --> 00:05:29,733
- No, it is not.
- It is too.
137
00:05:29,817 --> 00:05:32,452
- Where?
- Right there.
138
00:05:32,519 --> 00:05:33,586
Check it out.
139
00:05:33,654 --> 00:05:35,922
Michael, I don't want
to move desks.
140
00:05:35,990 --> 00:05:38,208
Don't be a baby.
We're... okay, there it is.
141
00:05:38,292 --> 00:05:40,210
"Packer was here
and so was your mom."
142
00:05:40,294 --> 00:05:42,028
- Yeah.
- Do I have any say in this?
143
00:05:42,096 --> 00:05:44,214
No!
144
00:05:44,298 --> 00:05:46,433
It's $20 to watch, Halpert.
Oh.
145
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:48,134
Hey.
146
00:05:48,202 --> 00:05:50,369
Whose dirt box is this?
147
00:05:50,421 --> 00:05:51,604
That's our zen garden.
148
00:05:51,672 --> 00:05:54,974
What do you grow in here,
bull crap?
149
00:05:56,877 --> 00:05:58,878
Hey, Holly.
150
00:05:58,929 --> 00:06:00,764
Hey.
151
00:06:00,848 --> 00:06:02,232
What's up, guys?
152
00:06:02,316 --> 00:06:03,566
Don't "what's up?" Us.
153
00:06:03,651 --> 00:06:06,386
You think you're so cute
with your pretty blond hair.
154
00:06:06,454 --> 00:06:08,387
Whoa, whoa.
Pull it back.
155
00:06:08,439 --> 00:06:10,223
Um, why did you hire
Todd packer?
156
00:06:10,291 --> 00:06:11,791
He's seriously awful.
157
00:06:11,859 --> 00:06:13,943
Michael's recommendation
was glowing.
158
00:06:14,028 --> 00:06:16,496
Honestly, he's been nothing
but nice to me.
159
00:06:16,564 --> 00:06:19,449
That's how he gets you
to take off your panties.
160
00:06:19,533 --> 00:06:22,401
- Why are you nodding?
- United front.
161
00:06:22,453 --> 00:06:23,870
Okay, look,
we can't fire someone
162
00:06:23,938 --> 00:06:25,238
because we don't like him.
163
00:06:25,306 --> 00:06:26,739
Right. This isn't
the U.S. government.
164
00:06:26,791 --> 00:06:28,792
What are you referencing?
165
00:06:28,876 --> 00:06:31,277
Everything.
Everything.
166
00:06:31,345 --> 00:06:33,213
Do any of you
have any concrete complaints
167
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:34,414
about something he's done?
168
00:06:34,482 --> 00:06:36,082
Well, I mean,
he humped Michael.
169
00:06:36,150 --> 00:06:37,300
Well, if that's the case,
170
00:06:37,384 --> 00:06:39,302
I guess I've got
to be fired too.
171
00:06:40,921 --> 00:06:43,256
Hey. Hey, you guys.
172
00:06:43,324 --> 00:06:44,858
The yarmouth regatta video
is up.
173
00:06:44,925 --> 00:06:47,193
Gather round.
Check it out.
174
00:06:47,261 --> 00:06:49,028
This guy's
on a full beam reach.
175
00:06:49,096 --> 00:06:50,830
They're hiking out like mad.
176
00:06:50,898 --> 00:06:53,333
Luff him up.
Luff him up.
177
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:54,434
Nice... ah!
178
00:06:55,903 --> 00:06:58,371
This computer's a hunk of junk.
179
00:06:58,438 --> 00:07:01,040
Hey, sailor, come watch
your regatta over here.
180
00:07:01,108 --> 00:07:03,042
Where did you get this?
181
00:07:03,110 --> 00:07:05,778
Pam gave it to me.
182
00:07:05,830 --> 00:07:07,380
This is a sick computer.
183
00:07:07,447 --> 00:07:09,282
Gwen Stefani has this computer.
184
00:07:09,350 --> 00:07:11,951
Uh, Pamela.
185
00:07:12,002 --> 00:07:13,169
Yep?
186
00:07:13,254 --> 00:07:15,672
What does a guy have to do
to whom
187
00:07:15,756 --> 00:07:16,890
to get one of them?
188
00:07:16,957 --> 00:07:18,725
You have a computer, Andy.
189
00:07:18,792 --> 00:07:20,810
Yeah, but if you donated
my computer to Africa,
190
00:07:20,895 --> 00:07:23,129
it would become famous as
the slowest computer in Africa.
191
00:07:23,180 --> 00:07:24,330
Okay, listen,
192
00:07:24,398 --> 00:07:26,299
we just don't have
the budget for it, okay?
193
00:07:26,367 --> 00:07:28,568
Reception needed a computer,
so we got one.
194
00:07:28,636 --> 00:07:31,037
Well, Andy's desk
needs a computer.
195
00:07:31,105 --> 00:07:32,689
And, I mean, it's just
kind of a coincidence
196
00:07:32,773 --> 00:07:34,407
that I work there, but...
197
00:07:34,475 --> 00:07:36,543
Yes, but reception
is a one-person department.
198
00:07:36,610 --> 00:07:37,877
If I get you a new computer,
199
00:07:37,945 --> 00:07:39,746
I have to get one
for everyone in sales...
200
00:07:39,813 --> 00:07:41,865
for Dwight, for Stanley.
It would be crazy.
201
00:07:41,949 --> 00:07:45,651
So something good happening
to Stanley is crazy now.
202
00:07:45,703 --> 00:07:47,086
They're not asking for one.
203
00:07:47,154 --> 00:07:48,421
I am.
I-I need it.
204
00:07:48,488 --> 00:07:50,874
If you're just handing
them out, I want one too.
205
00:07:50,958 --> 00:07:53,092
Phyllis, nobody's
handing anything out.
206
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,660
See, that's
what I'm talking about.
207
00:07:54,712 --> 00:07:56,529
What, are you gonna play
mah-jongg faster?
208
00:07:56,597 --> 00:07:58,348
I'm sorry, Andy.
209
00:08:03,604 --> 00:08:05,171
Hey, what's going on, you guys?
210
00:08:05,239 --> 00:08:07,440
Yeah.
Three muske-queers.
211
00:08:07,507 --> 00:08:09,859
Mean, but good.
212
00:08:09,944 --> 00:08:13,112
So, Todd, this must be nice
for you, getting off the road.
213
00:08:13,180 --> 00:08:14,781
You get to spend some time
with your daughter.
214
00:08:14,848 --> 00:08:16,282
I don't know.
215
00:08:16,350 --> 00:08:18,751
I love her and all,
but she's turned into a bitch.
216
00:08:18,819 --> 00:08:21,621
Most days she's great, but
some days she acts like her mom.
217
00:08:21,688 --> 00:08:23,690
Well, some girls
go through a phase.
218
00:08:23,757 --> 00:08:26,192
Yeah.
Your life is so insane.
219
00:08:26,260 --> 00:08:28,194
You should write a book.
220
00:08:28,262 --> 00:08:29,596
Since when did you learn
how to read?
221
00:08:29,663 --> 00:08:31,965
I do know how to read, though.
222
00:08:32,032 --> 00:08:34,867
Yeah. You know
how to read a menu.
223
00:08:36,303 --> 00:08:38,404
This guy.
224
00:08:41,709 --> 00:08:43,376
I...
He's right.
225
00:08:43,427 --> 00:08:45,645
I mean,
I could lose some weight.
226
00:08:45,713 --> 00:08:47,680
Kevin, in sumo culture,
227
00:08:47,748 --> 00:08:50,316
you'd be considered
a promising up-and-comer.
228
00:08:56,190 --> 00:08:59,442
What the heck?
Why do you have Erin's computer?
229
00:08:59,526 --> 00:09:00,893
It's crazy, right?
230
00:09:00,945 --> 00:09:03,463
Erin just wanted me to have it,
so we switched.
231
00:09:03,530 --> 00:09:05,615
What?
Erin, is that true?
232
00:09:05,699 --> 00:09:08,101
I just thought he seemed
to really need a new computer,
233
00:09:08,168 --> 00:09:09,452
and he knows so much
about that one.
234
00:09:09,536 --> 00:09:10,920
Erin, it's not up to you.
235
00:09:11,005 --> 00:09:13,572
This computer
was for reception, okay?
236
00:09:13,624 --> 00:09:15,074
It's not yours to give away.
237
00:09:16,810 --> 00:09:18,678
Pam.
238
00:09:18,745 --> 00:09:21,931
When I'm freaking out,
I just sort of step back,
239
00:09:22,016 --> 00:09:23,683
take three deep breaths.
I'm not freaking out.
240
00:09:23,750 --> 00:09:25,485
Okay?
And then I ask myself,
241
00:09:25,552 --> 00:09:28,938
"is this worth
freaking out about?"
242
00:09:29,023 --> 00:09:31,758
Andy, why should she have
your crappy computer?
243
00:09:31,825 --> 00:09:32,942
Oh, that's interesting.
244
00:09:33,027 --> 00:09:35,361
So you also think
my computer's crappy.
245
00:09:35,429 --> 00:09:37,096
Switch
the computers back, Andy.
246
00:09:39,366 --> 00:09:41,167
- Seriously?
- Seriously.
247
00:09:41,235 --> 00:09:42,601
Pam, come on.
248
00:09:42,653 --> 00:09:43,870
Now, please.
249
00:09:43,937 --> 00:09:45,989
Fine!
250
00:09:46,073 --> 00:09:50,109
Please make sure
nobody is humping me.
251
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:51,778
Oh, if you're going
back to the annex,
252
00:09:51,845 --> 00:09:53,546
could you take these to Dwight?
253
00:09:53,614 --> 00:09:54,981
I think the ants are waking up.
254
00:09:55,049 --> 00:09:56,799
They need
to start farming soon.
255
00:09:56,884 --> 00:09:58,217
Thanks.
256
00:09:58,285 --> 00:10:00,453
Best day ever.
Best day ever.
257
00:10:00,521 --> 00:10:03,322
So much is happening.
258
00:10:03,390 --> 00:10:05,925
Oh. Question...
should I get stripes shaved
259
00:10:05,993 --> 00:10:07,626
into the side of my head?
No.
260
00:10:07,678 --> 00:10:09,128
No.
Please.
261
00:10:09,179 --> 00:10:10,663
Did Todd tell you to do that?
262
00:10:10,731 --> 00:10:12,148
- Yes.
- Yeah.
263
00:10:12,232 --> 00:10:13,816
You love him, right?
264
00:10:13,901 --> 00:10:15,485
You love him.
I can tell.
265
00:10:15,569 --> 00:10:17,370
- I love you.
- No, no, not me.
266
00:10:17,438 --> 00:10:18,571
Him.
What...?
267
00:10:18,638 --> 00:10:19,839
He's certainly opinionated.
268
00:10:19,907 --> 00:10:21,240
If you're not gonna take
the ants over,
269
00:10:21,308 --> 00:10:22,675
I should probably
just do it myself.
270
00:10:22,743 --> 00:10:24,827
- Oh, I'm going.
- Whoa, no.
271
00:10:24,912 --> 00:10:26,979
Are you jealous of him...
272
00:10:27,031 --> 00:10:28,548
Because you think
he's funnier than you?
273
00:10:28,615 --> 00:10:29,716
Honey.
274
00:10:29,783 --> 00:10:31,150
I don't think
he's funnier than me.
275
00:10:31,218 --> 00:10:32,502
Oh, he's funnier than me.
276
00:10:32,586 --> 00:10:35,054
He's not funny at all.
277
00:10:35,122 --> 00:10:37,623
So I'm less funny
than not funny at all?
278
00:10:37,674 --> 00:10:39,509
Uh-oh, I think the ants
are starting to eat each other.
279
00:10:39,593 --> 00:10:42,512
No, what I'm saying
is he's not funny,
280
00:10:42,596 --> 00:10:46,015
but you're funnier than he is.
Um...
281
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:48,851
Okay, bill cosby, Steve Martin,
282
00:10:48,936 --> 00:10:50,169
Charlie bit my finger,
283
00:10:50,220 --> 00:10:51,404
Michael Scott,
284
00:10:51,472 --> 00:10:53,839
then all the way down here,
285
00:10:53,891 --> 00:10:55,174
Todd packer.
286
00:10:55,225 --> 00:10:56,943
That's insane.
287
00:10:57,010 --> 00:10:59,779
Honey, he's a jerk.
288
00:10:59,847 --> 00:11:02,865
Oh, for Pete's sake,
it just needs to be done.
289
00:11:07,913 --> 00:11:09,266
So you two are
married now, right?
290
00:11:09,909 --> 00:11:11,643
- Yeah.
- That's sweet.
291
00:11:11,710 --> 00:11:12,744
How's the sex?
292
00:11:12,811 --> 00:11:14,779
- Yeah.
- Hey, packer...
293
00:11:14,847 --> 00:11:18,082
I made you some hot chocolate.
Why?
294
00:11:18,150 --> 00:11:20,401
'Cause I want to let
bygones be bygones,
295
00:11:20,486 --> 00:11:21,819
show you I'm cool.
296
00:11:21,887 --> 00:11:23,938
You're the new guy.
It's cold out. I made too much.
297
00:11:24,023 --> 00:11:26,257
I got this awesome hot-chocolate
recipe from my wife.
298
00:11:26,325 --> 00:11:27,659
That's a lot of reasons.
299
00:11:27,726 --> 00:11:28,660
Drink it.
300
00:11:28,727 --> 00:11:30,078
I think I'll pass.
301
00:11:30,162 --> 00:11:33,031
The only hot chocolate I'm into
is Vivica A. Fox.
302
00:11:33,098 --> 00:11:34,532
Can I talk to you for a second?
303
00:11:34,583 --> 00:11:35,917
- Here.
- Okay. Okay.
304
00:11:36,001 --> 00:11:37,802
So this hot-chocolate thing
with packer...
305
00:11:37,870 --> 00:11:39,037
None of your business.
306
00:11:39,104 --> 00:11:41,339
Well, you know
you can't actually poison him.
307
00:11:41,407 --> 00:11:42,707
Right?
It isn't poison.
308
00:11:42,758 --> 00:11:45,043
It's a laxative. People take
laxatives all the time.
309
00:11:45,110 --> 00:11:47,378
This is just a lot more
of a laxative.
310
00:11:47,429 --> 00:11:49,130
Let me handle it.
311
00:11:49,214 --> 00:11:51,182
I really think we should join
forces on this one.
312
00:11:51,250 --> 00:11:52,684
- Really?
- What do we think?
313
00:11:52,751 --> 00:11:54,185
What would drive him crazy?
314
00:11:54,253 --> 00:11:56,471
- I know.
- Here we go.
315
00:11:56,555 --> 00:11:59,457
Pepto-bismol
in his hot chocolate.
316
00:11:59,525 --> 00:12:01,859
You have got to stop
with the hot-chocolate stuff.
317
00:12:01,927 --> 00:12:03,194
Okay.
318
00:12:03,262 --> 00:12:05,263
I was thinking
maybe we could jam his drawers
319
00:12:05,331 --> 00:12:06,831
so that they only come out
two inches.
320
00:12:06,899 --> 00:12:08,666
Then, that way, you can see
everything in them,
321
00:12:08,734 --> 00:12:10,034
but you can't get at it.
322
00:12:10,102 --> 00:12:11,669
Does Edgar Allen poe know
about that one?
323
00:12:11,737 --> 00:12:14,005
So sinister.
324
00:12:14,073 --> 00:12:15,740
That wouldn't annoy a person
at all.
325
00:12:15,791 --> 00:12:17,542
Where do you come up
with this stuff?
326
00:12:17,609 --> 00:12:20,111
All right, well, this isn't
my best, but call froggy 101,
327
00:12:20,179 --> 00:12:22,347
say that we're the tour manager
for Justin Bieber,
328
00:12:22,414 --> 00:12:23,831
and we're giving away
free tickets.
329
00:12:23,916 --> 00:12:25,750
We give 'em a number to call
for the tickets,
330
00:12:25,801 --> 00:12:27,652
and it's his number.
Who is justice beaver?
331
00:12:29,455 --> 00:12:32,056
He... it's a crime-fighting beaver.
332
00:12:32,124 --> 00:12:34,292
Why don't you write up
your best 40 ideas
333
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:35,810
and email 'em to me...
can you do that?
334
00:12:35,894 --> 00:12:37,845
Absolutely.
I'll email you 100.
335
00:12:37,930 --> 00:12:40,298
Yeah. Write up
your list of 100,
336
00:12:40,366 --> 00:12:41,933
edit it down to your top 40,
337
00:12:41,984 --> 00:12:43,234
and I'll read it over.
338
00:12:43,302 --> 00:12:44,769
Pam, can I talk
to you in private?
339
00:12:44,820 --> 00:12:47,488
I don't know if there's really
a private place in this office.
340
00:12:47,573 --> 00:12:49,157
Well, I put a sign-up sheet
in the conference room,
341
00:12:49,241 --> 00:12:50,858
and I signed us up
for three mods.
342
00:12:50,943 --> 00:12:54,412
A mod is five minutes, and it
started two minutes ago, so...
343
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:55,479
You did that?
344
00:12:55,531 --> 00:12:56,781
Can we talk about this
in the meeting?
345
00:12:56,849 --> 00:12:58,149
'Cause we're already late.
Okay.
346
00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,483
Wow, when did people
sign up for that?
347
00:12:59,535 --> 00:13:01,202
- Mind if I close the door?
- No.
348
00:13:01,286 --> 00:13:04,655
What you did out there earlier
was totally uncool.
349
00:13:04,723 --> 00:13:06,157
Well, what I was supposed
to do, huh...
350
00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:07,392
let you walk all over me?
351
00:13:07,459 --> 00:13:09,360
You humiliated me
in front of everybody.
352
00:13:09,428 --> 00:13:12,997
Okay, well, I didn't think
about it like that.
353
00:13:13,065 --> 00:13:15,099
It's just...
I can't do anything about it.
354
00:13:15,167 --> 00:13:17,368
I can't replace your computer
unless that one breaks.
355
00:13:17,436 --> 00:13:19,837
Well, I mean,
it's pretty broken already.
356
00:13:19,905 --> 00:13:22,573
Well, if it breaks all the way,
357
00:13:22,641 --> 00:13:26,244
I can get you a new one.
358
00:13:26,311 --> 00:13:28,679
Pretty sneaky, sis.
359
00:13:31,817 --> 00:13:35,720
Hey, cats, we got a jam
session in mods 6, 9, and 12.
360
00:13:39,491 --> 00:13:41,125
There are 400 of these.
361
00:13:41,193 --> 00:13:42,794
Yeah, I couldn't cut it down.
362
00:13:42,861 --> 00:13:44,128
They're all good.
363
00:13:44,196 --> 00:13:47,298
So good.
"Number three... eat a frog."
364
00:13:47,366 --> 00:13:48,366
That sounds promising.
365
00:13:48,434 --> 00:13:50,134
"Number four... eat a dog."
366
00:13:50,202 --> 00:13:53,304
I don't know, um,
from a practical standpoint...
367
00:13:53,372 --> 00:13:55,372
135.
Did you like 135?
368
00:13:55,424 --> 00:13:59,744
"Eat a brog." Maybe it's
'cause I didn't understand it.
369
00:13:59,812 --> 00:14:01,396
I just had a couple of notes.
370
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,148
Let me grab a pen and...
371
00:14:04,216 --> 00:14:05,266
Damn it.
372
00:14:07,186 --> 00:14:08,986
Ah, just when we were...
373
00:14:09,054 --> 00:14:12,590
just when
we were getting going.
374
00:14:23,335 --> 00:14:26,571
Allow all cookies?
Why, "soitenly."
375
00:14:26,638 --> 00:14:29,140
Pop-ups?
Yes, please.
376
00:14:29,208 --> 00:14:31,926
Bit torrent streaming
from a Somalian music website?
377
00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:33,577
Yeah, why not?
378
00:14:35,314 --> 00:14:38,099
Oh, I hope you don't get sick,
Mr. computer.
379
00:14:38,183 --> 00:14:40,518
Why are you
doing this to me, Andy?
380
00:14:40,586 --> 00:14:43,754
Because I hate your broke ass.
381
00:14:43,822 --> 00:14:46,474
And a 76ers fan to boot.
I like that.
382
00:14:46,558 --> 00:14:48,326
And you made Hank smile.
383
00:14:48,393 --> 00:14:50,628
That doesn't happen often.
You're very charming.
384
00:14:50,696 --> 00:14:53,597
You know what? That is something
that you should take upstairs
385
00:14:53,649 --> 00:14:57,201
and use on the people
that really matter.
386
00:14:57,269 --> 00:14:58,970
- Why?
- I don't know.
387
00:14:59,037 --> 00:15:01,839
Holly mentioned
that there were some complaints
388
00:15:01,907 --> 00:15:04,509
and that you had said
some things about Kevin.
389
00:15:04,576 --> 00:15:06,160
- Holly said that?
- Yeah.
390
00:15:06,245 --> 00:15:08,513
She was laughing hysterically
the whole time.
391
00:15:08,580 --> 00:15:10,548
I guess you said something
weird about your daughter.
392
00:15:10,616 --> 00:15:11,799
She asked me, Michael.
393
00:15:11,884 --> 00:15:13,551
It would have been rude
not to answer.
394
00:15:13,619 --> 00:15:15,219
You've been on the road
a long time.
395
00:15:15,287 --> 00:15:17,472
And you've been an outdoor cat.
396
00:15:17,556 --> 00:15:19,474
And now you have to be
an indoor cat,
397
00:15:19,558 --> 00:15:21,826
so you can't be peeing
all over the walls.
398
00:15:21,894 --> 00:15:24,628
Michael, can I open
the kimono with you?
399
00:15:25,848 --> 00:15:27,632
I've been on the road too long.
400
00:15:27,699 --> 00:15:30,668
But I want to connect
with my daughter.
401
00:15:30,736 --> 00:15:33,304
And it's not right to call her
a bitch in front of strangers.
402
00:15:33,372 --> 00:15:34,872
No, it isn't.
403
00:15:34,940 --> 00:15:36,991
You're right. I got to...
I got to watch my behavior.
404
00:15:37,075 --> 00:15:40,011
Yeah, a little bit.
405
00:15:40,078 --> 00:15:43,681
Don't give up on me.
406
00:15:43,749 --> 00:15:44,949
I won't.
407
00:15:46,731 --> 00:15:48,986
Okay. Everybody?
I need you to see this,
408
00:15:49,409 --> 00:15:51,360
because maybe
there is somebody here
409
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:53,879
that you underestimated
who will surprise you.
410
00:15:53,963 --> 00:15:56,298
Todd packer
is going to apologize.
411
00:15:56,365 --> 00:15:58,283
Kevin, front and center...
come here.
412
00:15:58,351 --> 00:16:01,970
I got a lot of numbers here
to put together.
413
00:16:02,038 --> 00:16:04,239
Kevin, we know that you
are just trying to save face.
414
00:16:04,307 --> 00:16:06,541
We know that you are hurt
and embarrassed.
415
00:16:06,593 --> 00:16:08,093
That's silly.
416
00:16:08,178 --> 00:16:10,746
I should be apologizing
to packer,
417
00:16:10,814 --> 00:16:12,881
'cause everybody knows
that I can dish it
418
00:16:12,949 --> 00:16:14,433
as good as I can take it.
419
00:16:14,517 --> 00:16:15,751
Okay, sweetie,
420
00:16:15,819 --> 00:16:18,220
no, you shouldn't be apologizing
to packer.
421
00:16:18,271 --> 00:16:19,555
That doesn't make any sense.
422
00:16:19,622 --> 00:16:20,889
You ready for this?
423
00:16:20,957 --> 00:16:22,191
Are you ready for this?
- Mm-hmm.
424
00:16:22,258 --> 00:16:23,826
Gentlemen, start your engines.
425
00:16:23,893 --> 00:16:27,696
I'm sorry if you were offended
by my comments earlier.
426
00:16:27,747 --> 00:16:29,948
Well, like I said,
I wasn't offended,
427
00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:32,167
but I'll stand here
for the big show.
428
00:16:32,235 --> 00:16:34,436
Kevin, do you accept
the apology?
429
00:16:34,504 --> 00:16:35,537
Don't do it, Kevin.
430
00:16:35,588 --> 00:16:37,139
That's that fake kind
of apology.
431
00:16:37,207 --> 00:16:39,374
- Okay, go back to the annex.
- This is textbook.
432
00:16:39,425 --> 00:16:40,626
It's so uncool.
433
00:16:40,710 --> 00:16:42,795
Ryan does this
to me all the time,
434
00:16:42,879 --> 00:16:44,913
like it's some offense
to have feelings.
435
00:16:44,981 --> 00:16:47,015
Don't do it, Kevin.
Sometimes you overreact.
436
00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:48,750
Michael, how is this
supposed to work?
437
00:16:48,802 --> 00:16:50,469
Packer's gonna keep saying
terrible things,
438
00:16:50,553 --> 00:16:52,387
and then he's just gonna make
half-ass apologies,
439
00:16:52,455 --> 00:16:53,922
and we're back to square one.
440
00:16:53,973 --> 00:16:56,325
Okay. You want an apology?
Here goes.
441
00:16:56,392 --> 00:16:59,094
Kevin, I am so sorry.
442
00:16:59,145 --> 00:17:02,114
You are skinny,
and you're a genius.
443
00:17:02,198 --> 00:17:04,433
That...
that was maybe too much.
444
00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:08,436
Packer is a survivor
of divorce, Stanley.
445
00:17:08,488 --> 00:17:11,439
Packer doesn't speak
with his child, Meredith.
446
00:17:11,491 --> 00:17:14,993
Packer never lived up to his
parents' expectations, Andy.
447
00:17:17,113 --> 00:17:19,998
Angela loves pussycats.
Packers loves...
448
00:17:20,083 --> 00:17:22,217
- No, don't.
- I was going to say "dogs"!
449
00:17:22,285 --> 00:17:23,952
Okay, you know what?
This is over.
450
00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:26,621
Apology has been issued,
and we're through with it.
451
00:17:26,673 --> 00:17:28,624
Packer's going to be here
until the day he dies,
452
00:17:28,691 --> 00:17:31,176
just like the rest of us.
453
00:17:32,846 --> 00:17:35,514
So, listen, we have
to really scuff this up.
454
00:17:35,598 --> 00:17:37,465
No, no, no, we can say
455
00:17:37,517 --> 00:17:39,484
that the previous owner
was a neat freak
456
00:17:39,569 --> 00:17:41,236
or an elegant old lady,
and she just kept it around
457
00:17:41,304 --> 00:17:43,138
in case her grandkids
came to visit.
458
00:17:43,206 --> 00:17:45,307
But they died,
and they never came.
459
00:17:45,375 --> 00:17:46,808
I'm gonna make myself cry.
460
00:17:46,876 --> 00:17:48,977
Andy, this is the deal we made.
461
00:17:49,028 --> 00:17:50,646
That's probably good.
That's enough.
462
00:17:50,713 --> 00:17:52,214
We should break
this hinge maybe.
463
00:17:52,282 --> 00:17:53,749
Let's not go crazy.
464
00:17:53,816 --> 00:17:55,250
Well, thanks.
Will do.
465
00:17:55,318 --> 00:17:57,252
Absolutely.
Now, when you get down there,
466
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,487
Jo's a little bit,
uh, forgetful,
467
00:17:59,539 --> 00:18:01,489
so she may have locked
the gate,
468
00:18:01,541 --> 00:18:03,658
but what you're gonna do is,
go ahead, hop it,
469
00:18:03,710 --> 00:18:06,494
and just head back to the pool.
That sounds weird.
470
00:18:06,546 --> 00:18:09,181
It is weird.
Look at you... perceptive.
471
00:18:09,265 --> 00:18:11,400
Now I know why jo
has kept her eye on you.
472
00:18:11,467 --> 00:18:13,101
And you make sure
473
00:18:13,169 --> 00:18:15,187
to get down there and check out
the Harry Potter world.
474
00:18:15,271 --> 00:18:17,940
Whatever you want to do
in your spare time is up to you.
475
00:18:18,007 --> 00:18:21,443
Harry Potter world
is supposed to be fantastic.
476
00:18:21,511 --> 00:18:23,011
Apparently, as soon
as corporate found out
477
00:18:23,079 --> 00:18:24,512
I wanted to come in
off the road,
478
00:18:24,564 --> 00:18:27,349
jo offered me a cushy new job
in Tallahassee.
479
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:28,683
And here's the best part.
480
00:18:28,735 --> 00:18:31,353
I'm a huge alligator nerd.
481
00:18:31,421 --> 00:18:35,223
I can name you every genus,
every subspecies.
482
00:18:35,291 --> 00:18:37,225
Also, I'm a huge boob nerd.
483
00:18:37,293 --> 00:18:39,761
Check it out and have
a free butterbeer on us.
484
00:18:39,829 --> 00:18:41,747
Keep the receipt,
and we'll get you back.
485
00:18:41,831 --> 00:18:42,864
What are you doing?
486
00:18:42,916 --> 00:18:44,299
Shh, this is
a very important client.
487
00:18:44,367 --> 00:18:45,901
All right,
so just pack your bags.
488
00:18:45,969 --> 00:18:47,402
And, uh, be sure to bring
those swimming trunks.
489
00:18:47,470 --> 00:18:48,870
Bye, now.
Bye.
490
00:18:48,922 --> 00:18:50,072
I cannot believe this.
491
00:18:50,139 --> 00:18:51,840
You're sending packer
to Florida?
492
00:18:51,908 --> 00:18:53,742
Why?
Because he's a jerk.
493
00:18:53,810 --> 00:18:55,076
- You gave him my desk.
- Okay.
494
00:18:55,128 --> 00:18:57,279
So you're tricking him
into flying to Florida.
495
00:18:57,347 --> 00:18:59,965
This wasn't my first choice.
Jim had so many better ideas.
496
00:19:00,049 --> 00:19:01,617
You have to tell him. You have
to tell him what you did.
497
00:19:01,684 --> 00:19:04,486
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That... that is not in the plan.
498
00:19:04,554 --> 00:19:06,555
That is actually anti
what we're doing.
499
00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:08,223
He is my oldest friend.
I am going to tell him.
500
00:19:08,291 --> 00:19:09,725
Wait.
Why don't we come up with a plan
501
00:19:09,776 --> 00:19:11,927
that we're all happy about?
Yeah, that...
502
00:19:11,995 --> 00:19:14,463
Pam, how is this thing
even any better
503
00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:15,480
than my old computer?
504
00:19:15,565 --> 00:19:17,366
Come on, Andy.
I mean, you said
505
00:19:17,433 --> 00:19:19,668
you wanted a computer...
this is the best I could do.
506
00:19:19,736 --> 00:19:21,370
Where'd you even find
this thing...
507
00:19:21,437 --> 00:19:23,071
like, in the corner
of the warehouse?
508
00:19:23,122 --> 00:19:25,007
Yes, I found it on a shelf
in the corner of the warehouse.
509
00:19:25,074 --> 00:19:27,309
All right, well, thank you
510
00:19:27,377 --> 00:19:29,077
for my garbage computer.
511
00:19:37,220 --> 00:19:39,121
You're looking
at the new face of corporate.
512
00:19:39,188 --> 00:19:41,506
Gonna put the "ass"
in Tallahassee.
513
00:19:41,591 --> 00:19:42,891
Yes, about that...
514
00:19:42,959 --> 00:19:44,993
Oh, man, we got to go out
and celebrate tonight.
515
00:19:45,061 --> 00:19:47,162
Well, I don't know
if that's a good idea.
516
00:19:47,230 --> 00:19:49,431
- The old ball and chain?
- No. No.
517
00:19:49,482 --> 00:19:51,033
Nothing like that at all.
518
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:52,517
Listen,
I'm gonna tell you something
519
00:19:52,602 --> 00:19:54,486
that none of these people
have the stones to tell you.
520
00:19:54,570 --> 00:19:56,104
It's your girlfriend.
521
00:19:56,172 --> 00:19:58,040
She's uptight.
522
00:19:58,107 --> 00:20:00,275
Sorry?
523
00:20:00,343 --> 00:20:01,526
I know this stuff can hurt,
524
00:20:01,611 --> 00:20:03,378
but I wish someone had said
something to me
525
00:20:03,446 --> 00:20:04,713
about my ex-wife.
526
00:20:04,781 --> 00:20:06,164
All I'm saying is,
in about a month or so,
527
00:20:06,249 --> 00:20:07,282
have you down to Florida,
528
00:20:07,350 --> 00:20:10,519
introduce you
to all the local talent.
529
00:20:13,256 --> 00:20:15,323
Sounds great.
530
00:20:15,391 --> 00:20:16,525
Yeah.
It's gonna be so good.
531
00:20:16,592 --> 00:20:17,959
That is.
It's gonna be awesome.
532
00:20:18,027 --> 00:20:21,630
I think you're really going
to enjoy it down there.
533
00:20:24,867 --> 00:20:26,368
I'm sorry about your friend.
534
00:20:26,436 --> 00:20:28,336
No.
He's an ass.
535
00:20:28,404 --> 00:20:30,472
You are.
536
00:20:32,475 --> 00:20:34,726
You are.
537
00:20:34,811 --> 00:20:36,845
What are you, wicked smaht?
538
00:20:36,913 --> 00:20:39,514
No, you are.
539
00:20:50,029 --> 00:20:51,696
Saw Andy's new computer
you found in the warehouse.
540
00:20:51,780 --> 00:20:52,947
Yep.
Lucked out.
541
00:20:53,015 --> 00:20:55,416
Yeah, you really did,
'cause I know every inch
542
00:20:55,484 --> 00:20:56,817
of that warehouse.
543
00:20:56,869 --> 00:20:58,887
Yep.
Super lucky.
544
00:20:58,954 --> 00:21:00,255
Maybe you could go
back down there
545
00:21:00,322 --> 00:21:02,790
and see if you can find me
some extra sick days.
546
00:21:09,747 --> 00:21:10,836
Yeah.
547
00:21:12,058 --> 00:21:15,514
You know what?
I think I saw one sick day...
548
00:21:17,602 --> 00:21:19,219
I think maybe I saw five.
549
00:21:19,642 --> 00:21:20,562
Three.
550
00:21:24,260 --> 00:21:25,580
I'm full on corrupt.
551
00:21:25,615 --> 00:21:27,600
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