1
00:00:03,068 --> 00:00:06,333
Hey, so this isn't
matching up with this.
2
00:00:06,434 --> 00:00:07,638
So I'm not sure which
one is right.
3
00:00:07,872 --> 00:00:09,395
Can you just hand down
the original for me.
4
00:00:09,521 --> 00:00:11,922
- Yes, me do.
- All right.
5
00:00:17,613 --> 00:00:19,932
Hey, what were you saying before
about the paperwork?
6
00:00:20,056 --> 00:00:22,662
Me doing now!
Go.
7
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:24,387
Stop worry.
8
00:00:24,421 --> 00:00:26,105
Kevin, do you feel okay?
9
00:00:26,139 --> 00:00:28,157
Me feel good.
Body strong.
10
00:00:28,191 --> 00:00:29,992
Sleep big last night.
11
00:00:30,027 --> 00:00:31,527
Yeah, I think we should
get him to the hospital.
12
00:00:31,561 --> 00:00:33,029
Yeah, all right, Kevin.
Why don't you come with us?
13
00:00:33,063 --> 00:00:34,780
- No, no, guys.
- No, he's fine.
14
00:00:34,815 --> 00:00:36,983
- He's always been like that.
- No, he hasn't.
15
00:00:37,034 --> 00:00:39,768
I mean, he's gotten worse
over the years, but...
16
00:00:39,786 --> 00:00:41,153
He's making a statement.
17
00:00:41,204 --> 00:00:43,439
It's an ironic comment
on our expectations of him.
18
00:00:43,473 --> 00:00:46,942
A funhouse image
of our model of Kevin.
19
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,610
You keep think that.
20
00:00:48,629 --> 00:00:51,280
Me mechanic not speak English.
21
00:00:51,315 --> 00:00:54,684
But he know what me mean
when me say, "car no go,"
22
00:00:54,718 --> 00:00:56,285
and we best friends.
23
00:00:56,303 --> 00:00:59,388
So me think,
why waste time say lot word
24
00:00:59,423 --> 00:01:01,624
when few word do trick?
25
00:01:01,658 --> 00:01:04,727
Kevin, I appreciate
what you're trying to do.
26
00:01:04,761 --> 00:01:06,829
Thank.
27
00:01:06,863 --> 00:01:09,098
Here, we have a word code.
28
00:01:09,132 --> 00:01:10,633
The same way
we have a dress code.
29
00:01:10,667 --> 00:01:14,987
And what we're talking about
is basically
30
00:01:15,022 --> 00:01:16,439
the speech equivalent
31
00:01:16,473 --> 00:01:18,357
to just wearing underpants.
32
00:01:18,408 --> 00:01:24,447
Sometimes,
words you no need use
33
00:01:24,481 --> 00:01:27,333
but need-need
for talk-talk.
34
00:01:27,367 --> 00:01:29,018
But save time.
35
00:01:29,052 --> 00:01:30,002
More success.
36
00:01:30,037 --> 00:01:31,320
Does it save time, though?
37
00:01:31,338 --> 00:01:32,989
'Cause we've been here
for about an hour.
38
00:01:33,023 --> 00:01:34,373
No me fault.
39
00:01:34,424 --> 00:01:36,208
Kevin...
40
00:01:36,259 --> 00:01:40,513
At most, you're saving
a microscopic amount of time.
41
00:01:40,547 --> 00:01:43,382
Many small time make big time.
42
00:01:43,433 --> 00:01:45,501
And what are you gonna do
with all this time?
43
00:01:45,519 --> 00:01:47,019
See world.
44
00:01:47,054 --> 00:01:48,838
Kevin, you can't possibly
save enough time
45
00:01:48,872 --> 00:01:50,022
to see the world.
46
00:01:50,057 --> 00:01:51,974
Kevin, are you saying,
"see the world"
47
00:01:52,008 --> 00:01:53,609
or "seaworld"?
48
00:01:53,643 --> 00:01:54,744
See world.
49
00:01:54,778 --> 00:01:57,847
Oceans, fish, jump.
50
00:01:57,881 --> 00:01:58,847
China.
51
00:01:58,865 --> 00:02:00,616
No, see?
Right there,
52
00:02:00,650 --> 00:02:02,151
that's the problem
with your method.
53
00:02:02,185 --> 00:02:03,786
'Cause I still don't know
if you're saying seaworld
54
00:02:03,820 --> 00:02:05,071
or see the world,
55
00:02:05,122 --> 00:02:07,957
and it's taking a lot of time
to explain it.
56
00:02:07,991 --> 00:02:09,325
Fine. Fine.
57
00:02:09,359 --> 00:02:11,660
I'll talk normally.
58
00:02:11,695 --> 00:02:13,829
When me president,
59
00:02:13,864 --> 00:02:16,132
they see.
60
00:02:16,166 --> 00:02:18,901
They see.
61
00:02:30,657 --> 00:02:36,382
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
62
00:02:51,268 --> 00:02:52,735
This week, we are rolling out
63
00:02:52,769 --> 00:02:55,137
the brand-new
sabre tablet...
64
00:02:55,171 --> 00:02:56,555
The pyramid.
65
00:02:56,589 --> 00:02:58,507
Ooh, why is it
shaped like that?
66
00:02:58,541 --> 00:02:59,675
So you can tell your clients,
67
00:02:59,709 --> 00:03:02,044
"unleash the power
of the pyramid."
68
00:03:02,078 --> 00:03:04,146
It's huge.
How much does it weigh?
69
00:03:04,180 --> 00:03:05,547
Oh, no, no, no.
Without the battery pack
70
00:03:05,582 --> 00:03:06,649
and the optional
memory booster,
71
00:03:06,683 --> 00:03:08,183
it's barely three pounds.
72
00:03:08,218 --> 00:03:10,019
How much memory does it have
without the booster?
73
00:03:10,053 --> 00:03:11,120
50 "l."
74
00:03:11,154 --> 00:03:12,588
- I'm sorry, "L"?
- Mm-hmm.
75
00:03:12,622 --> 00:03:14,023
How many "L" to a "K"?
76
00:03:14,057 --> 00:03:15,424
You're really gonna
want the booster.
77
00:03:15,458 --> 00:03:16,892
How on Earth
are we supposed to sell--
78
00:03:16,926 --> 00:03:18,143
I'll take five.
79
00:03:18,194 --> 00:03:20,529
Andy, don't make us
sell this stupid thing.
80
00:03:20,563 --> 00:03:21,930
Oh, no, no, no, no.
This is Dwight's meeting.
81
00:03:21,965 --> 00:03:23,666
- Thank you, the--
- I just wanted to pop in
82
00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:26,485
and get your opinions
on ties and tie clips.
83
00:03:26,536 --> 00:03:28,537
Which combo do you think
Robert's gonna like more?
84
00:03:28,571 --> 00:03:32,074
What do you think, c-span?
85
00:03:32,108 --> 00:03:33,108
C-span?
86
00:03:33,126 --> 00:03:34,677
Yeah... C-span.
87
00:03:34,711 --> 00:03:35,944
Cocker spaniel.
88
00:03:35,979 --> 00:03:37,796
Spaniel 'cause of your
Spanish bloodline,
89
00:03:37,831 --> 00:03:39,548
cocker 'cause...
90
00:03:41,284 --> 00:03:43,986
Is this really the best use
of our collective time?
91
00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:46,955
I am still forming a first
impression with Robert.
92
00:03:46,990 --> 00:03:49,725
Once it is formed,
we can all relax, okay?
93
00:03:49,759 --> 00:03:51,994
I'm sorry to hijack
your meeting, d-dub-dog.
94
00:03:52,028 --> 00:03:53,795
Had to pull rank.
95
00:03:55,932 --> 00:03:59,134
Okay.
Let's look at some ties.
96
00:03:59,152 --> 00:04:01,236
Here's how I'm gonna
help out from now on.
97
00:04:01,271 --> 00:04:02,938
I'm going to not care.
98
00:04:02,972 --> 00:04:04,840
And I'm gonna
sit around quietly
99
00:04:04,874 --> 00:04:07,476
waiting for Andy's
inevitable demise.
100
00:04:07,510 --> 00:04:09,528
Your friend Neil Patrick Harris
101
00:04:09,579 --> 00:04:11,613
really made me laugh
the other night.
102
00:04:11,647 --> 00:04:13,482
Um, D-dog,
you have a message.
103
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:15,017
Erin, you don't need
to call him that.
104
00:04:15,051 --> 00:04:17,152
Andy wants us to, P-dog.
105
00:04:17,187 --> 00:04:19,221
It's okay, E-dog.
Just who called?
106
00:04:19,255 --> 00:04:20,923
Justine. She said
she's coming by later.
107
00:04:20,957 --> 00:04:22,391
Your ex-wife?
108
00:04:22,425 --> 00:04:23,709
Wait, I thought
she was a [Bleep]
109
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:25,427
And you [Bleep] hated her guts.
110
00:04:25,462 --> 00:04:26,828
- Kevin...
- Oh, my God.
111
00:04:26,846 --> 00:04:28,881
No, no, no, no.
I like her.
112
00:04:28,932 --> 00:04:30,833
Well, I'm just quoting you.
113
00:04:30,867 --> 00:04:32,167
I would never
say that about her.
114
00:04:32,202 --> 00:04:33,185
I don't know the woman.
115
00:04:33,219 --> 00:04:35,521
No, man.
We get along now.
116
00:04:35,555 --> 00:04:36,555
Real well.
117
00:04:36,606 --> 00:04:37,606
Wow. All right.
118
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:38,607
Can't wait to meet her.
119
00:04:38,641 --> 00:04:40,342
I'll introduce you.
120
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,578
Yeah, we had a few fights,
I suppose.
121
00:04:42,612 --> 00:04:45,247
But last night, we put
a lot of that to bed.
122
00:04:45,281 --> 00:04:49,952
I can't tell you what I did
with my ex-wife last night.
123
00:04:49,986 --> 00:04:51,353
I have to sing it.
124
00:04:51,388 --> 00:04:53,038
♪ We took a shower ♪
125
00:04:53,073 --> 00:04:55,691
♪ we were naked ♪
126
00:04:55,725 --> 00:04:57,743
♪ we ♪
127
00:04:57,794 --> 00:05:02,231
♪ scap dap dap doo doo
doo doo doo doo doo ♪
128
00:05:09,055 --> 00:05:10,372
Hi, dad.
129
00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:13,142
Ah--ohh.
Oh, boy.
130
00:05:13,176 --> 00:05:15,594
Hello, Andy.
Excellent tie.
131
00:05:15,645 --> 00:05:17,596
Would you be requiring
a cold beverage
132
00:05:17,647 --> 00:05:18,597
while you're here?
133
00:05:18,648 --> 00:05:20,566
I'd love some coffee.
134
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:23,402
I was looking over
your projections,
135
00:05:23,436 --> 00:05:25,053
and I think we can to better.
136
00:05:25,071 --> 00:05:26,905
Are you factoring in
137
00:05:26,940 --> 00:05:30,058
the whole national economy...
Declining and all that?
138
00:05:30,093 --> 00:05:32,377
Andy, do you know why
I chose you?
139
00:05:32,412 --> 00:05:34,696
I think I can sum up
with what I think
140
00:05:34,714 --> 00:05:37,599
is your favorite
ice cream flavor.
141
00:05:37,634 --> 00:05:38,700
Vanilla.
142
00:05:38,735 --> 00:05:41,203
Valla? No, no.
143
00:05:41,221 --> 00:05:42,805
You'll never guess
in a million,
144
00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:44,273
billion years,
you'll never guess.
145
00:05:44,307 --> 00:05:46,642
You were saying you chose me.
146
00:05:46,676 --> 00:05:49,544
There was a reason.
147
00:05:49,562 --> 00:05:52,147
Andy, can you inspire?
148
00:05:52,182 --> 00:05:55,550
Do you have that skill set?
149
00:05:55,568 --> 00:05:56,685
Can I inspire?
150
00:05:57,787 --> 00:05:59,221
I don't know!
151
00:06:00,557 --> 00:06:02,157
I don't know.
152
00:06:02,192 --> 00:06:04,526
Oh, thank you.
153
00:06:04,561 --> 00:06:05,561
- Oh, uh--
- Oh, sorry.
154
00:06:05,595 --> 00:06:06,895
Here, just put it down.
155
00:06:06,930 --> 00:06:07,996
Oh.
156
00:06:17,707 --> 00:06:19,258
Mm.
157
00:06:19,292 --> 00:06:22,344
Ah. That is very cold.
158
00:06:22,378 --> 00:06:25,180
Yeah, it's old.
159
00:06:25,215 --> 00:06:26,648
Why would I--
160
00:06:26,683 --> 00:06:27,883
I asked if you wanted
a cold beverage,
161
00:06:27,917 --> 00:06:29,618
and you said coffee.
162
00:06:29,652 --> 00:06:31,987
Why don't we get Robert
a nice, hot, fresh cup,
163
00:06:32,021 --> 00:06:32,971
and I will have this.
164
00:06:33,022 --> 00:06:34,306
Andy, you don't want that.
165
00:06:34,357 --> 00:06:36,925
I've been craving a freezing
cup of old coffee.
166
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:38,644
Mmm.
167
00:06:38,695 --> 00:06:39,645
Sorry.
168
00:06:41,865 --> 00:06:43,198
You like her.
169
00:06:45,435 --> 00:06:46,435
I-I do.
170
00:06:46,469 --> 00:06:48,436
Yeah.
She likes you.
171
00:06:48,454 --> 00:06:50,455
You know, we've both
been into each other
172
00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:51,473
at different times,
173
00:06:51,508 --> 00:06:53,408
and just never really
synced up.
174
00:06:53,442 --> 00:06:54,660
Now we're in
this weird dance--
175
00:06:54,711 --> 00:06:57,112
I'm afraid you've
lost my interest.
176
00:06:59,082 --> 00:07:00,999
Let me call you back.
177
00:07:01,050 --> 00:07:02,551
I gotta go.
178
00:07:06,422 --> 00:07:08,507
If the office superstore
179
00:07:08,558 --> 00:07:11,126
was supposed to put us little
suppliers out of business,
180
00:07:11,144 --> 00:07:12,861
why are we still here?
181
00:07:15,014 --> 00:07:16,014
Yeah.
182
00:07:16,065 --> 00:07:17,566
This is where we go.
183
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,167
You'd go someplace else.
184
00:07:19,202 --> 00:07:20,569
That's not it.
That's not the answer.
185
00:07:20,603 --> 00:07:22,638
- It's a answer.
- It's a wrong answer.
186
00:07:22,672 --> 00:07:25,874
- There are no wrong answers.
- Take a look at where you are.
187
00:07:25,909 --> 00:07:29,745
Where you once worked
in a dying industry,
188
00:07:29,779 --> 00:07:31,847
you now work at its birth.
189
00:07:31,881 --> 00:07:37,419
The superstores
are terrified of us.
190
00:07:37,453 --> 00:07:39,821
Anybody know why?
191
00:07:39,856 --> 00:07:42,324
Wait...They're terrified?
192
00:07:42,358 --> 00:07:44,760
Let me tell you how I buy
something these days.
193
00:07:44,794 --> 00:07:46,545
I know what I want,
I go on the Internet
194
00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:47,763
and get the best price.
195
00:07:47,797 --> 00:07:49,715
Or I don't know what I want,
196
00:07:49,766 --> 00:07:52,134
and I go to a small store
197
00:07:52,168 --> 00:07:53,669
that can help me.
198
00:07:53,703 --> 00:07:55,604
The era of personal service
is back.
199
00:07:55,638 --> 00:07:57,906
You are back.
200
00:07:57,941 --> 00:08:01,843
You'll find that customers
will pay our higher prices
201
00:08:01,878 --> 00:08:03,545
and then they will thank us,
202
00:08:03,580 --> 00:08:06,815
and we will say to them,
"you are welcome."
203
00:08:11,321 --> 00:08:12,571
Ah, thank you.
204
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,373
Ooh!
205
00:08:15,708 --> 00:08:17,242
Andrew, I chose you
for a reason.
206
00:08:17,293 --> 00:08:19,461
Lead these people.
207
00:08:19,495 --> 00:08:22,414
Show me the best numbers
this place has ever seen.
208
00:08:22,465 --> 00:08:24,800
Last quarter we saw 4% growth.
209
00:08:24,834 --> 00:08:26,218
Double it.
You got it.
210
00:08:26,252 --> 00:08:27,469
- Double.
- Done.
211
00:08:27,503 --> 00:08:29,554
- I'm not kidding.
- Neither am I.
212
00:08:29,589 --> 00:08:31,940
It's already done.
Ha. I'm just kidding.
213
00:08:31,975 --> 00:08:34,009
- It's gonna take some time.
- Double.
214
00:08:41,418 --> 00:08:42,418
Hey.
215
00:08:51,795 --> 00:08:52,861
Hey...
216
00:08:54,764 --> 00:08:56,832
What's up, guys?
217
00:08:56,866 --> 00:08:59,134
Just thought we'd have
a little rap session,
218
00:08:59,169 --> 00:09:02,237
talk about business,
see how things are going.
219
00:09:06,142 --> 00:09:07,242
Well, you start.
220
00:09:07,277 --> 00:09:08,577
If no one else wants to.
221
00:09:08,611 --> 00:09:10,412
I was just thinking about
Robert.
222
00:09:10,447 --> 00:09:14,950
Man, what a boss.
Just...Throws down goals,
223
00:09:14,984 --> 00:09:16,285
you know?
224
00:09:16,319 --> 00:09:19,054
Anyway, how's the sales doubling
project going?
225
00:09:19,089 --> 00:09:20,456
How are we supposed to do that?
226
00:09:20,490 --> 00:09:22,224
We can't just press
a magic button.
227
00:09:22,258 --> 00:09:24,126
Of course not.
There's no magic button.
228
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,462
You have to...
229
00:09:26,496 --> 00:09:28,029
Summon that.
230
00:09:28,047 --> 00:09:29,415
If we could just
double our sales,
231
00:09:29,466 --> 00:09:30,699
we already would have.
232
00:09:30,734 --> 00:09:32,033
You're not making sense.
233
00:09:32,051 --> 00:09:33,752
He brings up two good points.
234
00:09:33,803 --> 00:09:35,204
Do you have any new leads,
235
00:09:35,238 --> 00:09:37,106
any new territories
you want us to look into,
236
00:09:37,140 --> 00:09:38,774
maybe have an in
with a big client
237
00:09:38,808 --> 00:09:40,542
that we could get
our foot in the door?
238
00:09:41,978 --> 00:09:43,445
Dwight, anything?
239
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,981
We could talk about
how fast children grow up.
240
00:09:46,015 --> 00:09:48,267
And before you know it,
they're out of the house.
241
00:09:48,318 --> 00:09:50,285
You know what?
We need to get our heads
242
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:51,453
out of the box.
243
00:09:51,488 --> 00:09:53,555
If we did have something,
244
00:09:53,573 --> 00:09:55,157
what would it look like?
245
00:09:55,191 --> 00:09:56,658
What would it be?
246
00:09:56,693 --> 00:09:57,943
Tuna.
247
00:09:57,994 --> 00:10:00,229
New leads,
a new territory to look into,
248
00:10:00,263 --> 00:10:02,448
maybe an in with a big company
249
00:10:02,499 --> 00:10:04,399
that we could get
our foot in the door.
250
00:10:06,035 --> 00:10:07,469
Fart.
251
00:10:08,805 --> 00:10:10,606
Good sesh.
252
00:10:11,708 --> 00:10:14,576
That leg's asleep.
253
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:19,314
Hello.
254
00:10:19,349 --> 00:10:20,983
I'm looking for
a Darryl Philbin.
255
00:10:21,017 --> 00:10:23,018
Don't-- Oh...
256
00:10:23,052 --> 00:10:24,686
You must think--
I'm not.
257
00:10:24,721 --> 00:10:27,589
I'm using the fax.
This isn't-- No, wait.
258
00:10:27,624 --> 00:10:29,658
I'm not supposed
to represent the company, right?
259
00:10:29,692 --> 00:10:31,643
There's usually an Erin here.
260
00:10:31,694 --> 00:10:32,694
- Okay.
- So...
261
00:10:32,729 --> 00:10:35,948
Darryl!
A girl!
262
00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:38,317
♪ Rub a dub dub ♪
263
00:10:38,368 --> 00:10:40,452
♪ with the apricot scrub ♪
264
00:10:40,487 --> 00:10:41,804
What's up, darling?
265
00:10:41,838 --> 00:10:44,106
Hey, everybody,
this is justine.
266
00:10:44,140 --> 00:10:45,774
- Hello.
- Hi, justine.
267
00:10:45,809 --> 00:10:48,644
- Hi.
- This is Jim
268
00:10:48,678 --> 00:10:50,779
and Oscar.
Hi.
269
00:10:50,814 --> 00:10:52,614
Everybody.
Hello.
270
00:10:52,632 --> 00:10:55,968
Kevin.
271
00:10:57,470 --> 00:10:59,721
Can we go someplace private?
272
00:10:59,756 --> 00:11:02,508
Follow me.
I got a space.
273
00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:03,625
After you.
274
00:11:03,643 --> 00:11:05,961
I been thinking about you
all morning.
275
00:11:05,995 --> 00:11:08,931
I don't know what you did.
I can barely walk today.
276
00:11:13,736 --> 00:11:15,804
D-bone.
There you are.
277
00:11:15,839 --> 00:11:18,023
Let me guess.
Somebody needs a brownie!
278
00:11:18,074 --> 00:11:20,375
Lick the spoon?
No, that's okay.
279
00:11:20,410 --> 00:11:22,661
I just-- I wanted to ask you
280
00:11:22,695 --> 00:11:24,847
about...
Is this about the profits?
281
00:11:24,881 --> 00:11:27,249
Because if it is,
I just don't see the point.
282
00:11:27,283 --> 00:11:28,517
It's so wall street.
283
00:11:28,551 --> 00:11:31,003
- I know, right?
- Right?
284
00:11:31,037 --> 00:11:32,754
- Yeah.
- Ha.
285
00:11:32,789 --> 00:11:34,423
Um...
286
00:11:34,457 --> 00:11:36,592
How is everything?
287
00:11:36,626 --> 00:11:38,527
Good.
Really, really good.
288
00:11:38,561 --> 00:11:40,262
Must be a tough time
to be a family farm.
289
00:11:40,296 --> 00:11:41,763
Oh, it is.
290
00:11:41,798 --> 00:11:43,932
And beets are not immune.
291
00:11:43,967 --> 00:11:45,467
We made some inroads in salad,
292
00:11:45,501 --> 00:11:48,020
but heirloom tomatoes
are pushing back.
293
00:11:48,054 --> 00:11:49,838
Oof. What are you
gonna do about that?
294
00:11:49,873 --> 00:11:52,173
I don't know.
What do you mean?
295
00:11:52,191 --> 00:11:54,610
Gotta be some way you could
double your beet sales.
296
00:11:54,644 --> 00:11:56,061
You wanted the job.
The job is yours.
297
00:11:56,112 --> 00:11:59,180
Just do the job.
298
00:11:59,198 --> 00:12:02,851
And I'll...Do mine.
299
00:12:02,886 --> 00:12:05,353
Walnuts?
300
00:12:05,371 --> 00:12:07,539
No!
301
00:12:11,728 --> 00:12:13,462
Have you seen this?
302
00:12:13,496 --> 00:12:14,596
Parenting? Yeah.
303
00:12:14,631 --> 00:12:16,197
This is Cece's
favorite magazine.
304
00:12:16,215 --> 00:12:17,916
She loves the pictures
of babies.
305
00:12:17,967 --> 00:12:19,501
She looks at it
when she's on the potty,
306
00:12:19,535 --> 00:12:21,203
and she makes the faces--
- Have you read it?
307
00:12:21,237 --> 00:12:23,639
Has an adult member
of your family
308
00:12:23,673 --> 00:12:26,108
read this particular issue?
309
00:12:26,142 --> 00:12:27,542
I flipped through it.
310
00:12:27,577 --> 00:12:29,878
So you saw the article
on the importance
311
00:12:29,913 --> 00:12:31,813
of taking frequent walks
while you're pregnant.
312
00:12:31,848 --> 00:12:34,216
- Of course, yeah.
- Everyone knows that.
313
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:36,351
I will be taking a morning
walk and an afternoon walk.
314
00:12:36,386 --> 00:12:39,271
Would you like to join me?
That sounds nice.
315
00:12:39,322 --> 00:12:40,689
Great.
316
00:12:41,908 --> 00:12:43,325
You have a walking buddy.
317
00:12:43,359 --> 00:12:45,560
I do!
318
00:12:45,578 --> 00:12:47,729
- Thanks for coming in, guys.
- You don't have to thank us
319
00:12:47,747 --> 00:12:49,731
for coming in-- It's our job.
320
00:12:49,749 --> 00:12:52,067
Well, I never got thanked
for coming into a meeting,
321
00:12:52,085 --> 00:12:54,636
and I always wanted to be,
so I'm gonna thank people.
322
00:12:54,671 --> 00:12:55,904
What's under the blanket?
323
00:12:55,922 --> 00:12:59,758
This is what's under
the blanket.
324
00:12:59,792 --> 00:13:01,677
We...Don't get it.
325
00:13:01,711 --> 00:13:03,295
These are incentives.
326
00:13:03,346 --> 00:13:05,580
It's how we're gonna
double growth.
327
00:13:05,598 --> 00:13:07,749
Now, you're probably all
asking yourselves,
328
00:13:07,784 --> 00:13:09,851
"well, how does this work?"
329
00:13:09,886 --> 00:13:11,186
Seems like a basic
reward system
330
00:13:11,220 --> 00:13:12,638
where you give us points
331
00:13:12,689 --> 00:13:15,357
and then we redeem those points
for prizes.
332
00:13:15,391 --> 00:13:17,476
You're exactly right,
and you get a point.
333
00:13:17,527 --> 00:13:19,945
- Oh!
- Is that a vibrator?
334
00:13:19,979 --> 00:13:22,931
- 20 points.
- How does one get a point?
335
00:13:22,966 --> 00:13:24,833
I've outlined the exact
parameters in an email,
336
00:13:24,867 --> 00:13:26,068
so check your spam folders.
337
00:13:26,102 --> 00:13:27,502
But basically...
338
00:13:27,537 --> 00:13:29,204
You do your job better,
you get points.
339
00:13:29,238 --> 00:13:31,606
So... Collect 15 points,
340
00:13:31,641 --> 00:13:34,209
and redeem them for
this polar bear.
341
00:13:34,243 --> 00:13:35,877
Why is it all kids' stuff
and a vibrator?
342
00:13:35,912 --> 00:13:37,012
It's so gross.
343
00:13:37,046 --> 00:13:38,647
There's lots of stuff.
344
00:13:38,681 --> 00:13:41,817
John Irving, collected works.
22 points.
345
00:13:41,851 --> 00:13:45,286
Or you can pool your points
and redeem 55
346
00:13:45,304 --> 00:13:47,122
for this maternity shirt.
347
00:13:47,140 --> 00:13:49,007
How about you want us
348
00:13:49,058 --> 00:13:51,292
to work harder, pay us more?
I can't.
349
00:13:51,310 --> 00:13:52,961
This point system
is really insulting.
350
00:13:52,979 --> 00:13:55,347
Ooh. Well, I didn't
mean to offend you,
351
00:13:55,398 --> 00:13:57,399
and I hope you'll forgive me,
352
00:13:57,433 --> 00:13:59,634
because I'm very, very...
Sari.
353
00:13:59,652 --> 00:14:02,154
16 points.
It's a tablecloth.
354
00:14:02,188 --> 00:14:03,972
What if went all the way up
to 500 points?
355
00:14:04,007 --> 00:14:05,490
That's a crazy
amount of points.
356
00:14:05,525 --> 00:14:07,376
- But what if?
- Well, what do you want?
357
00:14:07,410 --> 00:14:09,528
I don't know.
For such a crazy number,
358
00:14:09,579 --> 00:14:11,313
I'd like something
pretty crazy.
359
00:14:11,347 --> 00:14:13,081
All right.
For 500 points,
360
00:14:13,116 --> 00:14:14,683
I will wear a dress to work.
361
00:14:14,717 --> 00:14:16,151
Ah!
362
00:14:16,169 --> 00:14:17,318
That's pretty good.
363
00:14:17,336 --> 00:14:20,088
What about, uh, for
1,000 points?
364
00:14:20,123 --> 00:14:21,656
I'll run naked
through the parking lot
365
00:14:21,691 --> 00:14:23,542
with a doughnut on my dingdong.
366
00:14:24,794 --> 00:14:26,178
Yeah? You like that?
367
00:14:26,212 --> 00:14:28,897
All right, for 5,000 points,
368
00:14:28,931 --> 00:14:31,633
I will...Let you
tattoo whatever you want
369
00:14:31,667 --> 00:14:34,202
on the stern
of the old SS Bernard.
370
00:14:34,237 --> 00:14:35,554
- Oh!
- Here we go!
371
00:14:35,605 --> 00:14:37,773
All right, all right,
and you are totally serious.
372
00:14:37,807 --> 00:14:40,392
Swear to God, hope to die.
Now, let's get to work!
373
00:14:40,443 --> 00:14:43,945
Wait. But you did say
we could pool our points, right?
374
00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:45,897
In that case,
let's get to work.
375
00:14:45,948 --> 00:14:47,949
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
376
00:14:49,235 --> 00:14:50,235
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
377
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,228
All right, thank you very much.
378
00:14:56,246 --> 00:14:58,430
Uh, Phyllis, brachen auto?
379
00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:00,499
Ask for Donald.
Karen's bananas.
380
00:15:00,534 --> 00:15:02,001
I just want you to benefit
from our...
381
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:04,203
T-bag-bone.
382
00:15:04,205 --> 00:15:05,287
Andrew.
383
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:09,041
Have you noticed just
a little bit
384
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,276
of a mood shift around here?
385
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:11,944
No, I haven't noticed anything.
386
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:13,095
Really?
387
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:15,181
Because I sat next to Stanley
for years,
388
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:17,850
and this is naptime.
389
00:15:17,884 --> 00:15:18,951
- Yeah?
- Open-eye naptime.
390
00:15:18,985 --> 00:15:20,219
He balances the phone
on his shoulder
391
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,220
and just powers down.
392
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,254
Now look at him.
393
00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:24,440
You've got to unleash the power
394
00:15:24,474 --> 00:15:25,691
of the pyramid.
395
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:28,694
I don't know
what to tell you, man.
396
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:30,029
You think it
has something to do
397
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:31,330
with that incentive program?
398
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,364
Oh, 100%.
399
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:33,449
We all want to see you
tattoo your ass.
400
00:15:33,483 --> 00:15:34,867
Uh...
401
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,235
I think people thought
I was kidding
402
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,303
when I said that.
403
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:38,604
No, you definitely
weren't kidding.
404
00:15:38,622 --> 00:15:40,439
That came across
loud and clear.
405
00:15:40,457 --> 00:15:42,041
Oh, by the way,
wanna hand this in?
406
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:43,309
120 points?
407
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:44,343
Yeah, big sale.
408
00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:45,494
Don't worry about it, though.
409
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:46,662
I don't really care
about the points.
410
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:48,881
I would like
a point receipt, though.
411
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:51,550
Hey, yes, this is Jim Halpert
calling for Donald.
412
00:15:51,585 --> 00:15:53,052
Can you hold on for one second?
413
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:54,503
Thank you very much.
414
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,005
Who talked to Maggie
at Kaufman's?
415
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,956
Erin.
416
00:15:57,974 --> 00:15:59,558
Yes, Mrs. Guffner?
417
00:15:59,593 --> 00:16:01,510
Right.
418
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:02,895
And I'm back.
419
00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:04,813
How are you, sir?
420
00:16:04,848 --> 00:16:08,234
Erin can squeeze a couple more
golf games in, right?
421
00:16:11,605 --> 00:16:14,440
No, I'm not getting out there
anytime soon.
422
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,158
Hey, Kevin.
What are you doing?
423
00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:19,811
Don't talk to me!
424
00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:27,703
Hi, Professor Frank.
425
00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,355
Andy Bernard, class of '95.
426
00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:30,539
Hey, there.
427
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:33,225
Um, I'm a huge fan
of your management book,
428
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:34,593
management.
429
00:16:34,628 --> 00:16:36,095
Um, quick question.
430
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:38,097
I may be missing
a chapter here.
431
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:39,999
De-incentivizing?
432
00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:41,100
What are your strategies?
433
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:43,202
Looking for a real blow
to morale.
434
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:45,471
Uh, why?
435
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,873
Well, um, I guess you could say
436
00:16:47,908 --> 00:16:50,943
I'm in one of those classic
ass-tattoo incentive situations.
437
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:57,449
Yes!
438
00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:04,573
Took 'em one day.
439
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:05,874
Are you ready?
440
00:17:05,909 --> 00:17:07,910
"I'm not as think
as you drunk I am."
441
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,029
I like it.
442
00:17:11,047 --> 00:17:12,030
I like it.
443
00:17:12,048 --> 00:17:13,198
"Do not resuscitate."
444
00:17:14,417 --> 00:17:16,302
Okay, let's keep in mind,
445
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:18,203
it's not too late
to choose another prize.
446
00:17:18,221 --> 00:17:20,923
And there are
some great new additions.
447
00:17:20,974 --> 00:17:22,841
My car--
448
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,543
For 1,000 points.
449
00:17:24,561 --> 00:17:25,577
Or best offer.
450
00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:26,762
What else you got?
451
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,314
Oh, and then this
was Phyllis's idea.
452
00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:34,903
- Oh, my God!
- So nasty, Phyllis.
453
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:41,827
We were hoping you could do
something like this.
454
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:43,895
So coming out
of his butt is a--
455
00:17:43,913 --> 00:17:44,896
- Baby.
- Baby.
456
00:17:44,914 --> 00:17:46,398
Yes.
457
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:47,733
Yeah, no problem.
458
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:50,569
You should think about this.
459
00:17:50,587 --> 00:17:52,671
Anyone have any better ideas?
460
00:17:52,706 --> 00:17:54,089
I like what we have.
461
00:17:54,124 --> 00:17:55,207
- Yeah, nice try.
- Yeah.
462
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:56,308
For sure what we have.
463
00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:57,426
- It's funny.
- It's apropos.
464
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:03,098
Just need a second outside.
465
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,191
- You getting psyched up?
- Yeah.
466
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:14,476
Andy, nobody really expects
you to go through with this.
467
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:15,661
Tunes...
468
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:18,930
What am I doing here?
469
00:18:18,948 --> 00:18:21,099
Why did Robert pick me?
470
00:18:21,117 --> 00:18:24,269
Confession,
I don't know what I'm doing.
471
00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,538
I mean, do you like it?
472
00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:27,656
You having fun?
473
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:30,409
Tell you this,
474
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,311
everybody else is having
a lot of fun.
475
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:34,630
And you did that.
476
00:18:34,664 --> 00:18:36,415
But my ass is only so big.
477
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:37,850
I mean, I can't do this
every day.
478
00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:39,351
But I think it's big enough
to buy you some time
479
00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:41,170
till your next great idea.
480
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:44,056
Which, by the way,
I can't wait for.
481
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:49,294
No one expects me to go
through with this, right?
482
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:50,896
Absolutely not.
483
00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:57,986
Let's ink my stink!
484
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:00,823
- Andy!
- Yeah!
485
00:19:00,857 --> 00:19:02,825
My heart belongs to music.
486
00:19:02,859 --> 00:19:06,378
But my ass belongs
to these people.
487
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:07,913
Whoa!
488
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:10,649
Good stuff.
489
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:14,420
Do your worst.
490
00:19:14,454 --> 00:19:16,672
Uh, you can keep
your pants on, actually.
491
00:19:16,706 --> 00:19:17,823
If you just drop 'em
down a bit,
492
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:18,990
that'd be great.
493
00:19:19,008 --> 00:19:20,259
They're already off,
my good sir.
494
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:22,494
I'd really prefer
they not be down.
495
00:19:22,512 --> 00:19:23,662
Well, I think down's better.
496
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,097
Sweating pretty heavily
down there.
497
00:19:31,521 --> 00:19:32,721
Do you think you could work
from this?
498
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,339
We made some small adjustments.
499
00:19:34,357 --> 00:19:36,041
- Okay, you want me to--
- Just these few adjustments.
500
00:19:36,076 --> 00:19:37,726
Yeah.
501
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,611
All right, let's begin.
502
00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:41,230
This is where I grin and--
Ow! Ow!
503
00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:42,347
That was just a cotton swab.
504
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:45,200
Invest in softer cotton, sir.
505
00:19:45,235 --> 00:19:47,853
Whew.
506
00:19:47,871 --> 00:19:49,354
Oh, boy.
507
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,206
Oww!
508
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,458
Ohhh! Ho, ho!
509
00:19:54,577 --> 00:19:55,878
Ohhh!
510
00:19:55,912 --> 00:19:57,296
Whoa!
511
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,765
Obviously, you can go
the ass tattoo route.
512
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:02,301
And obviously,
I'm gonna like it.
513
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,436
Draw some blood!
Ha!
514
00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:08,590
Ahhhhh-haaaaa!
515
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:13,345
Great tattoo.
516
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,881
Why did I choose Andy
to run the office?
517
00:20:15,899 --> 00:20:19,218
Because he's all surface,
uncomplicated.
518
00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:21,153
What you see is what you get.
519
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:23,989
Could be a recipe
for mediocrity, yes,
520
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,724
but then again,
it might just be
521
00:20:25,742 --> 00:20:29,444
why people fight for him.
522
00:20:29,496 --> 00:20:31,396
It's a nard dog.
523
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:35,117
That's my nickety-name.
524
00:20:35,168 --> 00:20:37,169
- Yeah!
- Woo-hoo!
525
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:38,587
I love it.
I love it.
526
00:20:38,621 --> 00:20:39,788
Pull up your pants.
527
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:42,457
There's something
about an underdog
528
00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:47,212
that really inspires
the unexceptional.
529
00:20:49,265 --> 00:20:50,715
Um, what should we talk about?
530
00:20:50,733 --> 00:20:53,101
Well, we could talk
about an ethical dilemma
531
00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:54,386
I'm having.
532
00:20:54,404 --> 00:20:55,553
Oh, yeah, sure.
533
00:20:55,571 --> 00:20:57,322
Um, I hope I can help.
534
00:20:57,357 --> 00:21:00,192
A coworker of mine is drinking
caffeine while pregnant,
535
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:01,593
and I don't know if I should
call social services
536
00:21:01,627 --> 00:21:02,778
about it.
537
00:21:02,829 --> 00:21:05,030
Angela, that's pretty
transparently me.
538
00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:06,898
Maybe.
539
00:21:06,916 --> 00:21:08,733
You know, it's just herbal tea.
540
00:21:08,751 --> 00:21:11,787
In mugs with trace amounts
of coffee.
541
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:14,919
Yeah, I think you should
call social services.
542
00:21:14,954 --> 00:21:16,698
I already did.
543
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,247
You know, maybe we should just
have our own pregnancy as
544
00:21:20,330 --> 00:21:22,347
in not pretend like we
are in this together.
545
00:21:22,977 --> 00:21:24,832
- Fine.
- Fine.
546
00:21:26,857 --> 00:21:30,930
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