1
00:00:00,013 --> 00:00:02,091
Back orders and you
never call them.
2
00:00:03,277 --> 00:00:06,140
- Can you believe this?
- There's a dog in the car.
3
00:00:08,327 --> 00:00:10,586
You can't leave a dog
in a parked car!
4
00:00:10,788 --> 00:00:12,122
Snowboarder, it figures.
5
00:00:12,332 --> 00:00:14,198
Dude, snowboarders
ain't animals?
6
00:00:14,292 --> 00:00:16,460
I bet this guy didn't leave
his weed in the car.
7
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:20,048
Okay, we have to do something
because this is incredibly dangerous.
8
00:00:20,169 --> 00:00:21,395
Oscar, is not that hard out.
9
00:00:21,478 --> 00:00:23,381
A car parked in the sun
is like a toast oven.
10
00:00:23,532 --> 00:00:26,059
Well, we don't know how long
the driver's been gone and
11
00:00:26,155 --> 00:00:27,929
it's not in direct sun light.
12
00:00:28,064 --> 00:00:28,969
So what, Andy?
13
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:30,204
You wanna just let him die,
you scumbag?
14
00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:32,339
Here, I'm gonna get in my car.
15
00:00:32,374 --> 00:00:33,640
When I start dying,
16
00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:35,943
I will honk the horn
three times.
17
00:00:35,977 --> 00:00:37,711
That means save the dog.
18
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:38,913
Okay, you know what?
19
00:00:38,947 --> 00:00:40,314
I'm gonna give him
something to drink.
20
00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:41,532
Come here, doggy.
21
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:44,985
Come on.
22
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:45,986
Dwight, at least aim it.
23
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,788
There you go.
Here, doggy.
24
00:00:47,822 --> 00:00:48,989
You're not even trying.
Come here, doggy, come on.
25
00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:50,291
We're losing cloud cover.
26
00:00:50,325 --> 00:00:52,059
Oh, don't try to get in
on it now, Michael Vick.
27
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:54,161
Hey, hey, hey.
Vick did his time.
28
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:55,513
This guy's been gone
long enough.
29
00:00:55,547 --> 00:00:57,164
He's lost his right
to a window.
30
00:00:57,198 --> 00:00:58,415
Get back, buddy.
Get back.
31
00:00:58,467 --> 00:00:59,700
Oscar, what are you--
What-- No, hey!
32
00:01:02,471 --> 00:01:04,338
All right.
33
00:01:04,372 --> 00:01:06,056
Yeah!
34
00:01:06,091 --> 00:01:07,875
Nice job, Oscar.
35
00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:09,393
And one for good measure.
36
00:01:09,427 --> 00:01:10,394
Oh!
37
00:01:10,428 --> 00:01:11,712
Yeah!
38
00:01:11,730 --> 00:01:13,681
So, uh-- Who's gonna
take the dog?
39
00:01:13,715 --> 00:01:15,282
Why would we take the dog?
40
00:01:15,317 --> 00:01:17,217
What if he jumps out
the window and runs away?
41
00:01:17,235 --> 00:01:18,435
Jim, he's not gonna start--
42
00:01:19,554 --> 00:01:21,054
Shh, stay, stay.
43
00:01:21,072 --> 00:01:23,107
Nein. Sit.
44
00:01:23,158 --> 00:01:24,792
Good.
45
00:01:24,826 --> 00:01:27,128
Oscar, what do you wanna do?
This is kinda your deal.
46
00:01:27,162 --> 00:01:28,395
You want a dog?
47
00:01:32,167 --> 00:01:33,751
There we go.
That should do it.
48
00:01:33,785 --> 00:01:35,836
- Yeah, it's good.
- It'll work.
49
00:01:35,871 --> 00:01:37,237
Nice job.
50
00:01:37,255 --> 00:01:38,839
- Bye, poochie.
- Bye.
51
00:01:38,874 --> 00:01:41,442
Woof, woof.
52
00:01:51,526 --> 00:01:58,245
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
53
00:02:07,636 --> 00:02:08,602
What's that come to?
54
00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:09,737
Like, what did they each win?
55
00:02:09,771 --> 00:02:11,155
Oh man, it's gotta be...
56
00:02:11,206 --> 00:02:12,406
Over $100,000.
57
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:13,807
Yeah, before taxes.
58
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:16,277
That's still a lot of money.
59
00:02:16,311 --> 00:02:19,112
The warehouse crew won
the lottery yesterday.
60
00:02:19,130 --> 00:02:22,282
$950,000.
61
00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:23,334
And then they quit.
62
00:02:23,385 --> 00:02:25,302
And, no one else can focus.
63
00:02:25,337 --> 00:02:26,303
This is it.
64
00:02:26,338 --> 00:02:27,821
This is all on my shoulders.
65
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,924
I'm the one who has to tell
everyone to get back to work.
66
00:02:29,958 --> 00:02:31,642
I'm the one
who has to tell Darryl to hire
67
00:02:31,676 --> 00:02:32,860
a new warehouse crew.
68
00:02:32,894 --> 00:02:36,430
I'm the one who has to say
those things.
69
00:02:39,317 --> 00:02:41,802
Hello?
70
00:02:41,836 --> 00:02:44,672
Justine.
71
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:47,908
Nice surprise.
How you doing, baby?
72
00:02:47,943 --> 00:02:50,844
No, no, no.
I didn't win.
73
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,379
When I got promoted,
I stopped--
74
00:02:52,414 --> 00:02:54,381
What?
75
00:02:54,416 --> 00:02:58,285
Yeah, yeah.
Glen won.
76
00:02:58,320 --> 00:02:59,536
Oh, you wanna call him?
77
00:02:59,588 --> 00:03:01,388
Yeah, you should call him.
78
00:03:01,423 --> 00:03:03,841
Congratulate him.
That would be--
79
00:03:03,875 --> 00:03:05,993
What?
80
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:08,596
Oh, this number
is in your old phone.
81
00:03:08,630 --> 00:03:09,597
Oh, you know what?
82
00:03:09,631 --> 00:03:11,799
I might have it right--
Whoops.
83
00:03:11,833 --> 00:03:15,669
When I worked in the warehouse,
I was part of that lotto pool.
84
00:03:15,704 --> 00:03:17,504
They won...
85
00:03:17,539 --> 00:03:19,506
Playing my birthday.
86
00:03:19,541 --> 00:03:22,693
What really interests me is
the group dynamic of six people
87
00:03:22,727 --> 00:03:23,694
winning the lottery.
88
00:03:23,728 --> 00:03:25,012
This will not end well, right?
89
00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:26,196
Yeah.
90
00:03:26,231 --> 00:03:27,648
We're looking at
at least one suicide
91
00:03:27,682 --> 00:03:29,483
- and one weird sex thing.
- At least.
92
00:03:29,517 --> 00:03:31,452
I don't even know what
I'd do with all that money.
93
00:03:31,486 --> 00:03:32,886
I know what you'd do
with all that money.
94
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,088
"Hey, Pam.
95
00:03:34,122 --> 00:03:35,789
Let's buy
expensive bathrobes and hug."
96
00:03:35,824 --> 00:03:38,092
No, I'd probably buy
a big piece of land in Maine,
97
00:03:38,126 --> 00:03:40,344
build a house, work in town.
98
00:03:40,378 --> 00:03:42,863
Somewhere I could
bike to or kayak to.
99
00:03:42,897 --> 00:03:45,132
And either bike to my job
at the kayak shop
100
00:03:45,166 --> 00:03:47,217
or kayak to my job
at the bike shop.
101
00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,669
And then on the weekends,
would you hackysack
102
00:03:48,703 --> 00:03:50,738
back to reality and spend time
with your wife and kids?
103
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:53,407
Whoa, saucy.
I thought you liked Maine.
104
00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:55,576
I think we should get
a townhouse in Soho.
105
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,611
Soho's mostly lofts, but okay.
106
00:03:57,646 --> 00:03:59,179
And then, every morning,
107
00:03:59,214 --> 00:04:00,614
I'd walk out onto my terrace,
108
00:04:00,649 --> 00:04:03,367
and I would breathe
in the inspiration of the city.
109
00:04:03,401 --> 00:04:06,420
You know, and just gather
ideas for my painting.
110
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,072
Oh, God.
111
00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:09,707
And then my handsome husband--
112
00:04:09,741 --> 00:04:10,991
Which, ideally, would be me.
113
00:04:11,026 --> 00:04:12,159
Would bring me
a flavored coffee.
114
00:04:12,193 --> 00:04:14,244
Stop. I'm a barista
in your fantasy?
115
00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:16,563
Well, in your fantasy,
we're Stephen King characters.
116
00:04:16,598 --> 00:04:17,915
I don't know
about Stephen King.
117
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:19,917
Get a divorce. Get a divorce.
118
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,935
I think I would keep working.
119
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,370
And for my salary,
120
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:26,307
I guess I would take, like,
a dollar a year.
121
00:04:26,341 --> 00:04:28,776
Obviously, I wouldn't come
in till noon.
122
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:32,146
And I wouldn't do anything
I didn't wanna do.
123
00:04:32,180 --> 00:04:34,648
I mean, I'm getting paid
a dollar a year, okay?
124
00:04:34,683 --> 00:04:36,283
You can chill.
125
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,435
Are you kidding me?
Guys?
126
00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:40,521
If I have to ask you to
get back to work one more time,
127
00:04:40,555 --> 00:04:42,823
I'm gonna change my tone.
128
00:04:42,857 --> 00:04:44,925
To down here, like Mr. T.
129
00:04:44,959 --> 00:04:47,227
And this would get
seriously annoying.
130
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:48,729
I feel sympathy for the jerks
131
00:04:48,763 --> 00:04:50,247
who have to listen
to this all day.
132
00:04:50,281 --> 00:04:51,398
Darryl.
133
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:52,833
How we doing on
the new warehouse guys?
134
00:04:52,867 --> 00:04:54,451
I don't know.
135
00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:55,452
What--
Wh-Wh-
136
00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:56,470
Do we have new guys?
137
00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:57,471
No.
138
00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:58,839
Are they on their way over?
139
00:04:58,873 --> 00:04:59,840
I haven't hired anyone.
140
00:04:59,874 --> 00:05:01,542
What?
No warehouse guys?
141
00:05:01,576 --> 00:05:03,777
I have an important order
that has to go out by five.
142
00:05:03,812 --> 00:05:05,579
I emailed you about it.
143
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,915
I'm not checking email
until lunch.
144
00:05:07,949 --> 00:05:09,299
4-hour work week.
145
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:10,684
- This is kind
of time-sensitive.
146
00:05:10,719 --> 00:05:12,686
I got it.
I'm doing it.
147
00:05:12,721 --> 00:05:14,421
Andy, this is
a seriously big order.
148
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:15,939
I can't lose this client.
149
00:05:15,974 --> 00:05:17,608
All right, well,
until we have a new crew,
150
00:05:17,642 --> 00:05:19,143
let's get some volunteers
for warehouse duty.
151
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:20,427
Who's in?
152
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:21,928
As long as you guys
don't need me up here.
153
00:05:21,946 --> 00:05:24,798
I think we'll be fine.
154
00:05:24,833 --> 00:05:26,433
Really?
Nobody's gonna help her?
155
00:05:26,468 --> 00:05:28,318
Is chivalry dead?
Are you volunteering?
156
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,537
Of course...I would.
157
00:05:30,572 --> 00:05:32,906
But my hip--
158
00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:34,408
I would kill to be at 100%.
159
00:05:34,442 --> 00:05:35,409
Jim, how about you?
160
00:05:35,443 --> 00:05:36,777
Uh, yeah--
I mean,
161
00:05:36,811 --> 00:05:38,996
as the strongest person in this
office, I guess I should--
162
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,547
Okay, no, no.
163
00:05:40,582 --> 00:05:43,467
That-- You are so not--
Oh, God.
164
00:05:44,786 --> 00:05:48,288
False.
Andy, I will volunteer.
165
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:49,840
Great.
166
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:50,858
And Kevin.
167
00:05:52,026 --> 00:05:54,094
Good old Kevin.
168
00:05:54,129 --> 00:05:56,647
He'll do anything.
169
00:05:56,681 --> 00:05:58,065
Well, guess what?
170
00:05:58,099 --> 00:06:01,101
I will not do a good job.
171
00:06:04,305 --> 00:06:06,073
- Oh, thank you.
- Sure.
172
00:06:06,107 --> 00:06:08,158
Wait, wait.
What's this?
173
00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:09,159
Oh, sorry.
174
00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:10,327
I thought it was
175
00:06:10,361 --> 00:06:12,713
a guess-your-baby's-birth
weight pool.
176
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:14,114
It says "lotto pool."
177
00:06:14,148 --> 00:06:15,115
Right on top.
178
00:06:15,149 --> 00:06:18,419
Yeah.
And I said sorry.
179
00:06:18,453 --> 00:06:19,620
Oh, come on.
180
00:06:19,654 --> 00:06:20,621
You really think I'm gonna have
181
00:06:20,655 --> 00:06:25,659
a 14-pound baby?
182
00:06:29,814 --> 00:06:31,331
When did I get so fat?
183
00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:32,833
You look awesome.
184
00:06:32,867 --> 00:06:34,668
I didn't hire anyone
if that's why you're here.
185
00:06:34,702 --> 00:06:36,236
Where are we in the process?
186
00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:37,888
I have a file
of applicants here.
187
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,907
I just gotta open it,
look at it,
188
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:42,476
interview a bunch of guys,
hire some of them.
189
00:06:42,510 --> 00:06:45,729
So I say we're in the early
stages of the process.
190
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,081
Did you go out celebrating
with the guys last night?
191
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,250
They guys did invite me
out to celebrate,
192
00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:52,686
but I decided to just stay home.
193
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,571
Eat a bunch of tacos
in my basement.
194
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:56,657
You do have
a fantastic basement.
195
00:06:56,691 --> 00:06:59,226
I did.
196
00:06:59,260 --> 00:07:02,496
I did have
a fantastic basement.
197
00:07:02,530 --> 00:07:05,399
Now it smells like tacos.
198
00:07:05,433 --> 00:07:07,801
You can't air out a basement.
199
00:07:07,836 --> 00:07:10,003
And taco air is heavy.
200
00:07:10,037 --> 00:07:13,774
It settles at the lowest point.
201
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:17,044
Right, um,
202
00:07:17,078 --> 00:07:19,046
well, how about we take
a look at some applications?
203
00:07:20,348 --> 00:07:22,065
This guy wrote his in green ink.
204
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:27,104
That's pretty cool.
Check it out.
205
00:07:28,690 --> 00:07:29,907
Hey.
206
00:07:29,941 --> 00:07:33,360
There you go.
There he is.
207
00:07:33,394 --> 00:07:34,611
That is not Darryl.
208
00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:35,996
I don't know where Darryl is.
209
00:07:36,030 --> 00:07:37,397
I suspect, probably,
210
00:07:37,432 --> 00:07:41,535
our Darryl is
inside of that Darryl.
211
00:07:41,569 --> 00:07:45,572
Okay. 300 boxes
of 20 pound white.
212
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,742
That's 75 boxes per person.
So, that's not so bad.
213
00:07:48,776 --> 00:07:50,043
Negative.
214
00:07:50,077 --> 00:07:51,778
300 boxes for me,
215
00:07:51,813 --> 00:07:53,046
0 for you chumps.
216
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:55,549
Deal with it.
217
00:07:55,583 --> 00:07:56,550
Nice.
218
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:00,420
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh!
219
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:01,889
Oh!
220
00:08:01,923 --> 00:08:03,390
Damn.
221
00:08:03,424 --> 00:08:05,258
Ah!
222
00:08:16,571 --> 00:08:18,572
Yup.
223
00:08:22,976 --> 00:08:25,060
Welcome everybody.
My name is Andy,
224
00:08:25,094 --> 00:08:30,215
and this is
my other brother, Darryl.
225
00:08:30,249 --> 00:08:32,551
What? No Newhart fans?
226
00:08:32,585 --> 00:08:33,685
Okay.
227
00:08:33,719 --> 00:08:36,705
Darryl, how do we
usually kick things off?
228
00:08:36,739 --> 00:08:37,989
You mean, what did
we do the last time
229
00:08:38,024 --> 00:08:39,691
the warehouse won the lottery?
230
00:08:39,725 --> 00:08:41,026
Your old crew won the lottery?
231
00:08:41,060 --> 00:08:42,027
Does anyone have experience
232
00:08:42,061 --> 00:08:46,398
shelving, storing,
keeping track--
233
00:08:46,432 --> 00:08:48,033
What do we use?
The Dewey decimal system?
234
00:08:48,067 --> 00:08:50,402
Wait, wait.
So, all the old guys quit?
235
00:08:50,436 --> 00:08:51,586
- Oh, yeah.
- Well--
236
00:08:51,621 --> 00:08:53,104
One of them, Glen, is starting
237
00:08:53,139 --> 00:08:55,073
one of those fat camps
where he steals your kid
238
00:08:55,107 --> 00:08:56,475
in the middle of the night.
239
00:08:56,509 --> 00:08:59,311
Madge and a couple of the guys
might start a strip club.
240
00:08:59,345 --> 00:09:00,612
But on a boat.
241
00:09:00,646 --> 00:09:04,716
And Hide is investing
in an energy drink
242
00:09:04,750 --> 00:09:05,800
for Asian homosexuals.
243
00:09:08,304 --> 00:09:10,722
Um, could you guys
give us a minute?
244
00:09:10,756 --> 00:09:13,225
But stay close.
You're all doing great.
245
00:09:13,259 --> 00:09:14,559
Maybe grab a coffee,
246
00:09:14,593 --> 00:09:15,760
or if there's any donuts out,
247
00:09:15,778 --> 00:09:17,562
you can split one.
248
00:09:17,596 --> 00:09:20,499
You know, they're for everybody
so people get fussy.
249
00:09:20,533 --> 00:09:22,534
You know what?
Just have a donut.
250
00:09:32,211 --> 00:09:33,378
Do you want to talk about this
251
00:09:33,412 --> 00:09:35,130
- not-winning-the-lottery thing?
- I don't.
252
00:09:35,164 --> 00:09:38,950
You sure? 'Cause you keep
talking about it, so--
253
00:09:38,968 --> 00:09:42,954
Nope. I'm good.
I'm here.
254
00:09:42,989 --> 00:09:44,055
Let's find
some warehouse workers.
255
00:09:44,090 --> 00:09:45,307
Good, great.
256
00:09:45,341 --> 00:09:46,558
Then, can you say things
that aren't like,
257
00:09:46,592 --> 00:09:49,644
a huge bummer to everybody?
258
00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:51,629
'Cause the more I talk,
the more they're gonna realize
259
00:09:51,647 --> 00:09:53,014
I don't know
what I'm talking about.
260
00:09:53,065 --> 00:09:54,132
Okay.
261
00:09:54,150 --> 00:09:55,133
We need you, okay?
262
00:09:55,151 --> 00:09:56,134
Okay.
263
00:09:56,152 --> 00:09:57,135
- Okay?
- Yeah.
264
00:09:57,153 --> 00:09:59,804
All right.
265
00:10:04,243 --> 00:10:05,744
What's the problem?
266
00:10:05,778 --> 00:10:07,662
Grunting is scientifically
proven to add more power.
267
00:10:07,697 --> 00:10:09,681
Ask any female tennis player,
268
00:10:09,715 --> 00:10:11,283
or her husband.
269
00:10:15,254 --> 00:10:16,204
I didn't feel anything.
270
00:10:19,125 --> 00:10:21,426
All right, thank you
for coming back in.
271
00:10:21,460 --> 00:10:22,677
Again.
272
00:10:22,712 --> 00:10:24,095
Now we're going to ask you
a few questions.
273
00:10:24,130 --> 00:10:25,680
Darryl, you have the floor.
274
00:10:25,715 --> 00:10:26,798
Why do you want to work here?
275
00:10:26,832 --> 00:10:28,099
I need a job.
276
00:10:28,134 --> 00:10:29,200
It's not a good reason.
277
00:10:29,235 --> 00:10:30,468
Good.
278
00:10:30,503 --> 00:10:31,803
Keeping them honest.
279
00:10:31,837 --> 00:10:33,805
Don't just take the first job
that comes your way.
280
00:10:33,839 --> 00:10:35,140
'Cause next thing you know,
281
00:10:35,174 --> 00:10:37,776
it's ten years later,
and you're still there.
282
00:10:37,810 --> 00:10:39,911
You could write
your obituary tomorrow.
283
00:10:39,946 --> 00:10:42,547
It's not gonna change.
284
00:10:42,582 --> 00:10:45,016
Are we scaring them straight?
285
00:10:45,034 --> 00:10:46,151
I hope so.
286
00:10:46,185 --> 00:10:47,385
Think about this carefully.
287
00:10:47,420 --> 00:10:50,905
There's better lives
than this one.
288
00:10:56,062 --> 00:10:57,662
I've never been lucky.
289
00:10:57,697 --> 00:10:59,130
And I'm not talking
about the lottery.
290
00:10:59,165 --> 00:11:00,732
I'm talking about stuff like
291
00:11:00,766 --> 00:11:04,502
developing a soy allergy at 35.
292
00:11:04,537 --> 00:11:08,340
Who gets a soy allergy at 35?
293
00:11:08,374 --> 00:11:10,108
And why is soy in everything?
294
00:11:10,142 --> 00:11:11,843
Nice.
295
00:11:11,877 --> 00:11:13,711
Right back where I like you.
296
00:11:13,729 --> 00:11:15,213
Can you make
ten copies of this for me?
297
00:11:15,231 --> 00:11:16,214
No.
298
00:11:16,232 --> 00:11:17,649
Why not?
What are you doing?
299
00:11:17,683 --> 00:11:19,384
Uh, buying
lottery tickets online.
300
00:11:20,552 --> 00:11:23,238
Ah, everyone wants to be rich.
301
00:11:23,272 --> 00:11:25,523
But nobody wants to work for it.
302
00:11:25,558 --> 00:11:27,075
You came in at 10:30 today,
right?
303
00:11:27,109 --> 00:11:31,796
Okay, just dismiss it.
304
00:11:31,831 --> 00:11:34,432
- Is everyone licensed?
- Like a driver's license?
305
00:11:34,467 --> 00:11:37,802
No.
Warehouse license.
306
00:11:37,837 --> 00:11:40,071
Master's in warehouse sciences.
307
00:11:40,106 --> 00:11:42,874
I feel that Darryl has talked
about a license of some kind.
308
00:11:42,908 --> 00:11:45,960
- Is this a joke?
- No. Not joking.
309
00:11:46,012 --> 00:11:48,313
This is real.
310
00:11:48,347 --> 00:11:52,317
Painfully real,
what is happening, right now.
311
00:11:52,351 --> 00:11:54,853
Okay, I'm not gonna make it.
312
00:11:54,887 --> 00:11:57,022
I'm turning back.
313
00:11:57,056 --> 00:11:58,790
There's gotta be
a better way to do this.
314
00:11:58,824 --> 00:12:00,591
This is literally
how they built the pyramids.
315
00:12:00,609 --> 00:12:02,777
Well, they whipped people,
which is helpful.
316
00:12:02,812 --> 00:12:04,062
But you're right.
317
00:12:04,096 --> 00:12:05,313
We should be able to find
a more efficient way
318
00:12:05,364 --> 00:12:07,115
of moving boxes
than Madge and Hide.
319
00:12:07,149 --> 00:12:08,867
Yeah.
320
00:12:08,901 --> 00:12:11,336
Not that they're not
smart people.
321
00:12:11,370 --> 00:12:13,138
No, no.
Very smart--
322
00:12:13,172 --> 00:12:14,673
Theirs is more of
a "physical" intelligence.
323
00:12:14,707 --> 00:12:15,674
I'd go with that.
324
00:12:15,708 --> 00:12:17,075
Like baboons or elephants.
325
00:12:17,109 --> 00:12:18,443
Not that, don't--
326
00:12:18,477 --> 00:12:22,180
Guys, when I was a kid,
my sisters used to butter me up,
327
00:12:22,214 --> 00:12:24,549
and slide me across
the linoleum floor
328
00:12:24,583 --> 00:12:25,917
of the kitchen.
329
00:12:25,951 --> 00:12:27,752
It really made them laugh.
330
00:12:27,786 --> 00:12:28,853
It's a great idea, Kev.
331
00:12:28,888 --> 00:12:29,854
I don't think
it applies here, though.
332
00:12:29,889 --> 00:12:30,955
So, maybe we just--
333
00:12:30,973 --> 00:12:33,625
Yeah, we move stuff
and have fun.
334
00:12:33,659 --> 00:12:35,343
Kevin, doesn't apply.
335
00:12:35,394 --> 00:12:36,594
Right, my mom--
336
00:12:36,628 --> 00:12:38,963
You need to drop it.
Okay?
337
00:12:38,998 --> 00:12:40,231
They hate it.
338
00:12:40,266 --> 00:12:42,100
I like it a lot,
but they hate it,
339
00:12:42,134 --> 00:12:44,135
so drop it.
340
00:12:47,239 --> 00:12:51,609
Does anybody get distracted
easily by bubble wrap?
341
00:12:53,829 --> 00:12:55,780
You'll be dealing with
lots of bubble wrap.
342
00:12:55,815 --> 00:12:57,782
Obviously.
Um--
343
00:12:57,817 --> 00:12:59,384
How much longer
is this going to take?
344
00:13:01,854 --> 00:13:03,655
Did you hire them?
345
00:13:03,689 --> 00:13:05,824
No, because they all left.
346
00:13:05,858 --> 00:13:07,592
What do you mean, "they left"?
347
00:13:07,626 --> 00:13:10,562
I mean, after you bailed,
348
00:13:10,596 --> 00:13:11,763
I got confused,
349
00:13:11,797 --> 00:13:13,798
and frankly, a little weird.
350
00:13:13,832 --> 00:13:15,834
And the stuff that you said
351
00:13:15,868 --> 00:13:17,185
certainly didn't help.
352
00:13:17,219 --> 00:13:18,870
Then I think
you should fire me.
353
00:13:20,222 --> 00:13:21,706
What are you talking about?
I'm not gonna fire you.
354
00:13:21,741 --> 00:13:25,310
Yeah, just put me
out of my misery.
355
00:13:27,696 --> 00:13:30,315
Okay, this is weird.
I don't-- I don't get the joke.
356
00:13:30,349 --> 00:13:33,818
No? Okay.
357
00:13:33,852 --> 00:13:37,856
I don't wanna be here anymore.
358
00:13:37,890 --> 00:13:40,875
Fire me.
359
00:13:46,150 --> 00:13:48,751
So Darryl says to me, "fire me",
but what he really means is,
360
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:49,819
"I'ma say
something really weird.
361
00:13:49,853 --> 00:13:52,188
Try and figure out
what it means."
362
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,740
So I say,
"no, you're not fired."
363
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,926
But what I really mean is,
364
00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:00,029
"I've no idea what
you're talking about.
365
00:14:00,063 --> 00:14:01,214
"But I'm going to go ahead
and hire some people
366
00:14:01,248 --> 00:14:02,348
"for the warehouse
and hope that
367
00:14:02,382 --> 00:14:07,537
you eventually
start feeling better."
368
00:14:07,571 --> 00:14:10,873
I really hope that's what
he and I mean.
369
00:14:10,908 --> 00:14:12,475
Attention.
370
00:14:12,509 --> 00:14:14,560
Does anyone know anyone
who could work in a warehouse?
371
00:14:14,595 --> 00:14:16,062
We can pay.
372
00:14:16,096 --> 00:14:17,480
Come on, Oscar.
373
00:14:17,514 --> 00:14:19,232
Who's the most jacked guy
in all of Scranton?
374
00:14:19,266 --> 00:14:20,399
Like your wildest fantasy guy?
375
00:14:20,434 --> 00:14:22,018
Bulk or definition?
376
00:14:22,052 --> 00:14:23,352
Definition.
377
00:14:23,386 --> 00:14:25,555
Bruce Kenward.
He hangs out at planet fitness.
378
00:14:25,589 --> 00:14:27,323
Are those just show muscles,
379
00:14:27,357 --> 00:14:28,608
or is he really strong?
380
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:29,892
Oh, he's plenty strong.
381
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:31,394
He used to be Reggie Winters
382
00:14:31,428 --> 00:14:33,162
out at gold's gym.
383
00:14:33,197 --> 00:14:34,430
But he moved away.
384
00:14:34,464 --> 00:14:37,099
And then it was between
Bruce and this guy, Dean.
385
00:14:37,134 --> 00:14:40,837
Um, but Dean got fixated
on his calves,
386
00:14:40,871 --> 00:14:43,372
and, uh,
387
00:14:43,407 --> 00:14:45,208
and his triceps went to hell.
388
00:14:45,242 --> 00:14:47,176
So, I've been thinking,
389
00:14:47,211 --> 00:14:49,212
after we win the lottery,
we take our winnings...
390
00:14:49,246 --> 00:14:50,279
Our fake winnings.
391
00:14:50,314 --> 00:14:52,048
And we move
to the South of France.
392
00:14:52,082 --> 00:14:55,017
See-- No, there's plenty
of bicycling for you.
393
00:14:55,052 --> 00:14:56,252
I think that's where they do
the Tour De France.
394
00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:57,620
It is, yeah.
395
00:14:57,654 --> 00:14:58,604
I mean, I just don't know
why I'm compromising
396
00:14:58,639 --> 00:14:59,622
if it's my fantasy.
397
00:14:59,656 --> 00:15:00,857
Because in my fantasy,
398
00:15:00,891 --> 00:15:02,058
it's Maine, and you love it.
399
00:15:02,092 --> 00:15:03,359
Because I'm never gonna
act like that,
400
00:15:03,393 --> 00:15:05,427
even in your fantasy.
401
00:15:05,445 --> 00:15:07,530
Nope, you-- You're doing
a great job at it
402
00:15:07,564 --> 00:15:09,065
in my fantasy, right now.
403
00:15:09,099 --> 00:15:11,117
Hey, idiot.
What did Erin want again?
404
00:15:11,151 --> 00:15:13,936
A hot chocolate tea.
405
00:15:13,971 --> 00:15:17,874
Gideon, you are a PhD candidate
406
00:15:17,908 --> 00:15:20,826
studying America's diminishing
blue-collar work force?
407
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,211
North America.
408
00:15:22,246 --> 00:15:24,647
And diminishing is a little
reductive, but, uh, sure.
409
00:15:24,681 --> 00:15:26,332
That's the headline version.
410
00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:28,167
Great.
411
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:29,669
Well, it will bring
a fresh, new perspective
412
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:30,720
to the warehouse.
413
00:15:30,754 --> 00:15:31,721
FYI,
414
00:15:31,755 --> 00:15:32,855
Wednesday through Friday,
415
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:33,956
I have a pretty full
teaching schedule.
416
00:15:33,991 --> 00:15:35,057
Oh.
Cool.
417
00:15:35,092 --> 00:15:36,392
We'll figure that out.
418
00:15:36,426 --> 00:15:38,961
Also, FYI,
419
00:15:38,996 --> 00:15:42,832
ah, I don't technically
have a hearing problem.
420
00:15:42,866 --> 00:15:45,201
But sometimes,
when there's a lot of noises
421
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:47,336
occurring at the same time,
422
00:15:47,371 --> 00:15:50,139
I'll hear them
as one big jumble.
423
00:15:50,173 --> 00:15:52,575
Uh, again, it's not
that I can't hear.
424
00:15:52,609 --> 00:15:54,577
Because that's false.
I can.
425
00:15:54,611 --> 00:15:58,981
Um, I just can't distinguish
between everything I'm hearing.
426
00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,649
Got it.
Duly noted.
427
00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:01,701
You.
428
00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:03,485
Coolest tank top I've ever seen.
429
00:16:03,503 --> 00:16:04,787
Where did you get that?
430
00:16:04,821 --> 00:16:06,923
- Made it.
- So cool.
431
00:16:06,957 --> 00:16:08,324
What a cross section
we have here.
432
00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:09,592
It's what I love
about interviewing.
433
00:16:09,626 --> 00:16:11,344
I get to meet all these people
434
00:16:11,378 --> 00:16:13,996
I wouldn't ordinarily
meet, or know, or even talk to.
435
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,965
Message in a bottle,
the postman--
436
00:16:15,999 --> 00:16:19,001
Kevin Costner.
437
00:16:22,306 --> 00:16:24,006
So...
438
00:16:24,041 --> 00:16:25,474
I found this grease.
439
00:16:25,508 --> 00:16:26,559
And then I remembered that
440
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:27,977
you thought it was a great idea.
441
00:16:28,011 --> 00:16:29,895
You did say
it was a great idea.
442
00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:33,282
I heard you say it.
443
00:16:33,317 --> 00:16:35,918
So it's not the dumbest idea.
444
00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:37,153
It's not the greatest one--
445
00:16:37,187 --> 00:16:39,288
But the fact remains,
we gotta move these boxes.
446
00:16:39,323 --> 00:16:42,908
And it's clear
we're not gonna carry them.
447
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,526
So sadly, it's the best idea
on the table.
448
00:16:44,544 --> 00:16:45,728
Exactly.
449
00:16:45,762 --> 00:16:48,798
Hey, I think we're ready
to get this--
450
00:16:48,832 --> 00:16:49,799
- Yup.
- Is he okay?
451
00:16:49,833 --> 00:16:53,302
He'll be fine.
452
00:16:53,337 --> 00:16:57,173
Surprise!
Your new crew.
453
00:16:57,207 --> 00:17:00,009
Would you just fire me, man?
454
00:17:00,043 --> 00:17:01,143
Hey, why?
455
00:17:01,178 --> 00:17:03,245
Because you didn't win
the lottery?
456
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,847
How am I supposed
to make you happy?
457
00:17:04,881 --> 00:17:06,449
You wanna make me happy?
Huh?
458
00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:07,883
- Yeah.
- Give me your job.
459
00:17:07,918 --> 00:17:11,020
- Ah, what?
- I'll do it better than you.
460
00:17:11,054 --> 00:17:12,955
I earned it.
I deserve it.
461
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,557
I got passed over,
God knows why.
462
00:17:15,575 --> 00:17:18,911
Reasons I cannot
and will not understand.
463
00:17:18,945 --> 00:17:20,162
The job was mine, Andy.
464
00:17:20,197 --> 00:17:22,765
Everyone said it was mine.
465
00:17:22,799 --> 00:17:24,967
Make me manager or fire me.
466
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:26,952
I'm not going
to give you my job.
467
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:30,239
It's my job!
I earned it!
468
00:17:30,273 --> 00:17:32,308
And here's the thing.
You weren't even next in line.
469
00:17:32,342 --> 00:17:34,677
I asked about you.
I saw your file.
470
00:17:34,711 --> 00:17:35,945
You have a history
of being short with people,
471
00:17:35,979 --> 00:17:38,414
and you hired Glen, your buddy,
472
00:17:38,448 --> 00:17:39,632
to replace
you in the warehouse.
473
00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:42,051
He was underqualified.
They saw that.
474
00:17:42,085 --> 00:17:43,853
Also, Darryl, FYI,
475
00:17:43,887 --> 00:17:45,254
I already told this to Andy,
476
00:17:45,288 --> 00:17:46,555
but, uh, you should
probably know,
477
00:17:46,590 --> 00:17:49,759
I technically don't have
a hearing problem.
478
00:17:49,793 --> 00:17:51,193
It's just when there's
a lot of noises--
479
00:17:51,228 --> 00:17:54,530
Nate. Please.
480
00:17:54,564 --> 00:17:58,734
Thank you.
481
00:17:58,769 --> 00:18:00,669
You have no business education.
482
00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:02,505
You were going to take
classes under DeAngelo.
483
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:03,489
What happened with that?
484
00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:04,507
He died.
485
00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:06,208
He didn't die.
His brain died.
486
00:18:06,243 --> 00:18:08,310
And my brain is very much alive.
487
00:18:08,345 --> 00:18:10,413
And I'd be happy to give you
business classes.
488
00:18:10,447 --> 00:18:11,947
How come you haven't asked me
about it?
489
00:18:11,982 --> 00:18:14,216
What was--
What was the last--
490
00:18:14,251 --> 00:18:15,384
I'm having a--
491
00:18:15,419 --> 00:18:19,321
No part of this has anything
to do with you.
492
00:18:19,356 --> 00:18:21,624
I didn't have time
because of my daughter.
493
00:18:21,658 --> 00:18:24,060
Oh, but you had time
for a softball clinic.
494
00:18:24,094 --> 00:18:25,294
And a mediterranean
cooking class.
495
00:18:25,328 --> 00:18:26,529
Hey, I'm not gonna
tell you this stuff
496
00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:27,630
if you're gonna throw it
back in my face!
497
00:18:27,664 --> 00:18:29,565
Hey, here's the thing.
498
00:18:29,599 --> 00:18:33,202
Jo saw something in you.
She loved you.
499
00:18:33,236 --> 00:18:36,572
She gave you a shot,
and then you stopped pushing.
500
00:18:36,606 --> 00:18:37,640
She noticed.
501
00:18:45,682 --> 00:18:46,749
Okay.
502
00:18:46,783 --> 00:18:50,486
Okay, what?
503
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:52,321
Okay, don't fire me.
504
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,711
Okay.
505
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:00,529
My future's not gonna
be determined
506
00:19:00,564 --> 00:19:03,532
by seven
little white lotto balls.
507
00:19:03,567 --> 00:19:07,269
It's gonna be determined
by two big black balls.
508
00:19:07,304 --> 00:19:10,039
I control my destiny.
509
00:19:10,073 --> 00:19:12,475
I do.
510
00:19:12,509 --> 00:19:14,093
I'll put some guys on tonight.
511
00:19:14,127 --> 00:19:16,445
The best of your bunch
and my bunch.
512
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:17,446
Tell you now, though.
513
00:19:17,481 --> 00:19:18,631
It's gonna be mostly my bunch.
514
00:19:18,665 --> 00:19:20,449
Yeah, that makes sense.
515
00:19:20,484 --> 00:19:22,118
Okay, good.
All right.
516
00:19:22,152 --> 00:19:23,669
Are they here?
517
00:19:23,703 --> 00:19:25,287
What is going on?
518
00:19:25,322 --> 00:19:26,322
Oh, hey, guys.
519
00:19:26,356 --> 00:19:28,240
Why is the forklift
in the wall?
520
00:19:28,291 --> 00:19:29,658
Why is the truck empty?
521
00:19:29,692 --> 00:19:31,193
Uh, it's not totally empty.
522
00:19:31,228 --> 00:19:33,913
Is that grease on my floor?
523
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,498
Okay.
524
00:19:35,532 --> 00:19:37,666
I can see why you're angry.
You're coming into this cold.
525
00:19:37,701 --> 00:19:41,403
But believe me,
a lot of thought went into this.
526
00:19:41,438 --> 00:19:43,973
And did your brains tell you
to ruin these boxes with grease?
527
00:19:44,007 --> 00:19:45,474
Okay, Darryl.
528
00:19:45,509 --> 00:19:48,210
Listen, and then
you will understand.
529
00:19:48,245 --> 00:19:51,614
The boxes were ruined
during our first trial testing.
530
00:19:51,648 --> 00:19:52,731
So now, it's cool.
531
00:19:52,766 --> 00:19:54,183
'Cause we found
another use for them.
532
00:19:54,217 --> 00:19:56,018
Okay, all right.
533
00:19:56,052 --> 00:19:57,253
That's-- Look.
534
00:19:57,287 --> 00:19:58,654
All we were trying to do
535
00:19:58,688 --> 00:20:00,055
is we thought we could come up
with a more efficient way
536
00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:01,056
to do things.
537
00:20:01,091 --> 00:20:02,057
And?
538
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:03,409
- And we did.
- I don't know.
539
00:20:03,443 --> 00:20:06,395
Jim, tell them
what it's called.
540
00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:07,730
That's all right.
541
00:20:07,764 --> 00:20:09,031
No, Jim, tell them
what the name is.
542
00:20:09,065 --> 00:20:11,534
Doesn't matter
what the name is.
543
00:20:11,568 --> 00:20:13,752
Señor Loadenstein.
That's stupid.
544
00:20:13,787 --> 00:20:15,905
Señor Loadenstein.
545
00:20:15,939 --> 00:20:17,573
Tell them why
it's called that, Jim.
546
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,341
That's okay.
We're good.
547
00:20:19,376 --> 00:20:20,709
Nope, Jim. Tell us why
548
00:20:20,743 --> 00:20:24,747
it's called señor Loadenstein.
549
00:20:24,781 --> 00:20:26,348
Porque es muy rápido.
550
00:20:26,383 --> 00:20:27,349
Okay.
You know what?
551
00:20:27,384 --> 00:20:28,384
It's been a really busy day.
552
00:20:28,418 --> 00:20:29,435
What do you say
we put all this away?
553
00:20:29,469 --> 00:20:31,086
Let me see it.
554
00:20:31,121 --> 00:20:32,721
It's, uh, in beta testing.
555
00:20:32,755 --> 00:20:33,956
Let me see it!
556
00:20:33,990 --> 00:20:35,057
Get the thing, go!
557
00:20:35,091 --> 00:20:36,058
Lube it up.
558
00:20:36,092 --> 00:20:37,426
Kevin, start mopping.
559
00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:40,196
Uno, dos, tres.
560
00:20:40,230 --> 00:20:43,449
Ah!
561
00:20:43,483 --> 00:20:46,135
Yeah. I lost my client.
562
00:20:47,699 --> 00:20:48,732
I already won the lottery.
563
00:20:48,766 --> 00:20:50,834
I was born
in the US of A, baby.
564
00:20:50,868 --> 00:20:53,403
And as backup,
I have a Swiss passport.
565
00:20:53,438 --> 00:20:55,972
I would spend a lot of time
566
00:20:56,007 --> 00:20:57,541
launching my true crime podcast,
567
00:20:57,575 --> 00:20:59,276
the Flenderson Files.
568
00:20:59,310 --> 00:21:00,977
Dum-bum-ba.
569
00:21:01,012 --> 00:21:02,512
Flenderson Files.
570
00:21:02,547 --> 00:21:03,914
We came to an agreement.
571
00:21:03,948 --> 00:21:06,516
We're going to live
in a stunning, prewar brownstone
572
00:21:06,551 --> 00:21:07,751
at the top of a mountain.
573
00:21:07,785 --> 00:21:09,386
Right, the city
and country combined.
574
00:21:09,420 --> 00:21:11,288
Just a subway stop away
are the best museums
575
00:21:11,322 --> 00:21:12,322
in the world.
576
00:21:12,357 --> 00:21:14,983
And I can fish right
from the window
577
00:21:15,079 --> 00:21:16,288
of Pam's pottery studio.
578
00:21:16,289 --> 00:21:18,434
We can * any time we want.
579
00:21:18,469 --> 00:21:19,973
Just like now.
580
00:21:20,008 --> 00:21:21,272
Just like now.
581
00:21:22,905 --> 00:21:25,254
♪ schools are terrible, but, what
are you gonna do about that?
582
00:21:25,341 --> 00:21:26,528
What are you gonna do?
583
00:21:26,849 --> 00:21:32,000
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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