1 00:00:01,244 --> 00:00:03,965 Hey Jim. Stanley's back from the hospital today. 2 00:00:04,106 --> 00:00:06,502 - Can you sign his card? - Oh, great. 3 00:00:06,537 --> 00:00:09,038 "Glad they didn't mix up your tonsillectomy 4 00:00:09,072 --> 00:00:12,158 with a moustachectomy." 5 00:00:12,192 --> 00:00:13,426 Oh, that's not good. 6 00:00:13,460 --> 00:00:15,628 Oh, because your jokes are all hilarious. 7 00:00:15,679 --> 00:00:17,180 It's nice. It's funny. 8 00:00:17,214 --> 00:00:18,581 It mentions his tonsillectomy 9 00:00:18,599 --> 00:00:20,099 and makes a funny little joke about his moustache. 10 00:00:20,134 --> 00:00:23,469 Stanley doesn't have a moustache. 11 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:24,887 Yeah, he does. 12 00:00:24,921 --> 00:00:26,272 Pam, hit the brakes. 13 00:00:26,306 --> 00:00:29,291 Stanley does not have a moustache. 14 00:00:29,309 --> 00:00:32,061 I misspoke I'm-- not sure... 15 00:00:32,096 --> 00:00:33,679 I think he has one, now that-- 16 00:00:33,731 --> 00:00:35,148 I think he has a moustache. 17 00:00:35,182 --> 00:00:37,266 Okay. Phyllis sits across from him every day. 18 00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:38,801 Phyllis, does he have a moustache or not? 19 00:00:38,819 --> 00:00:41,621 Ooh, I don't know. Now I think he doesn't. 20 00:00:41,655 --> 00:00:43,156 Phyllis, what are you talking-- 21 00:00:43,190 --> 00:00:45,274 The whole card depends on this! 22 00:00:45,308 --> 00:00:46,943 Okay. The man's worked here for 25 years. 23 00:00:46,977 --> 00:00:49,128 How can none of us picture his face? 24 00:00:49,163 --> 00:00:50,613 'Cause we come here to do our jobs. 25 00:00:50,647 --> 00:00:52,598 We don't stick our noses in other people's business. 26 00:00:52,633 --> 00:00:55,785 Okay. Which one of these looks more right? 27 00:00:55,819 --> 00:00:57,420 Neither of those looks like any person 28 00:00:57,454 --> 00:00:58,988 that has ever existed or been dreamt of 29 00:00:59,006 --> 00:01:00,840 in the history of human insanity. 30 00:01:00,874 --> 00:01:02,942 That said, the one on the left. 31 00:01:02,976 --> 00:01:04,994 [Elevator bell dings] Guys, that's the elevator. 32 00:01:05,012 --> 00:01:07,046 - What if it's him? - Okay, quick. 33 00:01:07,097 --> 00:01:09,816 Who says moustache? 34 00:01:09,850 --> 00:01:11,017 Yep. 35 00:01:11,051 --> 00:01:13,052 Who says no moustache? 36 00:01:20,394 --> 00:01:21,360 Ah! Ha ha ha! 37 00:01:21,395 --> 00:01:22,862 - Oh, man! - Hey! 38 00:01:22,896 --> 00:01:24,197 - He does have one. - Yes! 39 00:01:24,231 --> 00:01:26,065 [Light clapping] 40 00:01:26,116 --> 00:01:28,234 Welcome back, Stanley. [Stanley grunts] 41 00:01:28,285 --> 00:01:30,837 [Cheerful music] 42 00:01:31,506 --> 00:01:36,824 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 43 00:01:37,728 --> 00:01:40,046 "Good morning, Robert," says no one, 44 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:43,049 because our receptionist is in Florida. 45 00:01:49,473 --> 00:01:50,490 [Shouts] Pam! 46 00:01:50,524 --> 00:01:52,208 Oh! 47 00:01:52,226 --> 00:01:54,177 Is this a video conference you're having with... 48 00:01:54,211 --> 00:01:56,762 "Drake, featuring Swizz Beatz"? 49 00:01:56,814 --> 00:01:59,482 Um, no, I was just, um, just having a cup of coffee, 50 00:01:59,516 --> 00:02:00,766 kind of warming up for the day. 51 00:02:00,818 --> 00:02:03,569 People, you should come to work already warm. 52 00:02:03,604 --> 00:02:05,521 9:00 to 10:00 AM 53 00:02:05,555 --> 00:02:08,891 is the most productive potential that a human being-- 54 00:02:08,909 --> 00:02:10,026 Sorry, sorry, everyone, I'm late! 55 00:02:10,060 --> 00:02:12,245 But you are all here, 56 00:02:12,279 --> 00:02:14,697 so no harm done at all by my lateness. 57 00:02:14,731 --> 00:02:16,782 [Laughing] Nellie, really, 9:50? 58 00:02:16,834 --> 00:02:18,618 Oh, here's what happened. 59 00:02:18,669 --> 00:02:21,287 7:46, my alarm clock goes off. 60 00:02:21,338 --> 00:02:22,872 I hear it. Whack the snooze. 61 00:02:22,906 --> 00:02:24,590 - Ah. - Nine minutes. 62 00:02:24,625 --> 00:02:26,592 Bzzz! Off it goes again. 63 00:02:26,627 --> 00:02:27,910 Whack! 64 00:02:27,928 --> 00:02:30,096 Seven more times I did that. 65 00:02:30,130 --> 00:02:32,298 Bzzz-- Whack. Bzzz-- Whack! 66 00:02:32,349 --> 00:02:34,967 By the time I got up, it was ten minutes to go. 67 00:02:35,018 --> 00:02:38,020 No willpower. That is my curse! 68 00:02:38,055 --> 00:02:39,472 I've never believed willpower 69 00:02:39,523 --> 00:02:41,274 was very important in a woman. 70 00:02:41,308 --> 00:02:42,725 Ah ha! 71 00:02:42,759 --> 00:02:43,943 [Both laughing] 72 00:02:43,977 --> 00:02:45,778 I don't think you would have shown up to work 73 00:02:45,812 --> 00:02:48,481 nearly an hour late for no reason. 74 00:02:48,532 --> 00:02:50,533 Oh, I assure you, I would have done. 75 00:02:50,567 --> 00:02:52,735 I did, and I will keep doing it. 76 00:02:52,769 --> 00:02:54,954 No, no, no, no. There's something going on. 77 00:02:54,988 --> 00:02:56,122 Some stress in your life. 78 00:02:56,156 --> 00:02:58,157 Well, yes, uh... 79 00:02:58,208 --> 00:03:02,111 There is the whole moving to Scranton nonsense. 80 00:03:02,129 --> 00:03:05,131 30 boxes arrived yesterday from england, 81 00:03:05,165 --> 00:03:06,499 and two trunks from Florida. 82 00:03:06,550 --> 00:03:09,168 Then I have to move into my apartment 83 00:03:09,219 --> 00:03:12,605 in this dreadful, God knows where it is 84 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:14,407 backwater suburb of a suburb, 85 00:03:14,441 --> 00:03:15,892 and I mean, no offense, 86 00:03:15,926 --> 00:03:18,961 but are there a lot of Irish people living around here? 87 00:03:18,979 --> 00:03:20,479 - Yes. - Yes. 88 00:03:20,514 --> 00:03:22,064 Ugh! I hate that! 89 00:03:22,099 --> 00:03:23,115 No offense. 90 00:03:23,150 --> 00:03:24,650 - None taken. - Actually, Nellie, 91 00:03:24,685 --> 00:03:27,153 this monologue you're delivering is very offensive. 92 00:03:27,187 --> 00:03:28,821 Oh! Ay, caramba! 93 00:03:28,855 --> 00:03:31,140 The natives are getting restless! 94 00:03:31,158 --> 00:03:32,474 - Who's a native? - Uh, excuse me. 95 00:03:32,492 --> 00:03:35,194 The tone here is getting quite hostile. 96 00:03:35,245 --> 00:03:37,280 I would appreciate it if you would keep that stuff 97 00:03:37,314 --> 00:03:38,948 on the basketball court. 98 00:03:38,982 --> 00:03:41,033 - Oh... - Okay. Okay. 99 00:03:41,084 --> 00:03:43,336 If you'd let me finish-- 100 00:03:43,370 --> 00:03:45,538 or the squash court, 101 00:03:45,589 --> 00:03:48,057 or the supreme court. 102 00:03:48,091 --> 00:03:49,675 - Hmm? - Nellie. 103 00:03:49,710 --> 00:03:51,177 Yes, Robert! 104 00:03:51,211 --> 00:03:55,181 You're clearly under a lot of... Stress 105 00:03:55,215 --> 00:03:58,334 with the moving and the work situation 106 00:03:58,352 --> 00:04:00,469 - you've found yourself in. - Yes. 107 00:04:00,503 --> 00:04:02,188 Let's help her out, shall we? 108 00:04:02,222 --> 00:04:05,141 Go above and beyond today 109 00:04:05,175 --> 00:04:10,196 to show her some of that warm Scranton hospitality. 110 00:04:10,230 --> 00:04:12,031 Jim, Dwight. 111 00:04:12,065 --> 00:04:13,866 Take the day. Help Nellie 112 00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:16,869 move those boxes into her new place. 113 00:04:16,903 --> 00:04:18,204 Why Jim? 114 00:04:18,238 --> 00:04:20,957 The rest of you, let's throw a party 115 00:04:20,991 --> 00:04:22,241 at the end of the day 116 00:04:22,292 --> 00:04:25,194 to welcome the newest member of our little community. 117 00:04:25,212 --> 00:04:26,829 I'm sorry. 118 00:04:26,863 --> 00:04:28,547 We're throwing a party for someone 119 00:04:28,582 --> 00:04:30,016 because they're being horrible? 120 00:04:30,050 --> 00:04:31,634 I'm sorry. We're taking work time 121 00:04:31,668 --> 00:04:33,002 to move someone's personal belongings 122 00:04:33,036 --> 00:04:34,186 into their new apartment. 123 00:04:34,221 --> 00:04:36,172 I'm still not sure why this woman is even here. 124 00:04:36,206 --> 00:04:37,940 Why is she here? 125 00:04:37,975 --> 00:04:41,227 ♪ two crazy kids on the journey of life ♪ 126 00:04:41,261 --> 00:04:44,764 ♪ going to Pennsylvania ♪ 127 00:04:44,815 --> 00:04:47,383 On the road with my new girlfriend. 128 00:04:47,401 --> 00:04:49,602 But first, a small pit stop 129 00:04:49,653 --> 00:04:51,604 to break up with my current girlfriend 130 00:04:51,655 --> 00:04:55,224 who is at her parents' cabin in Southern Pennsylvania. 131 00:04:55,242 --> 00:04:56,692 Oh. That must be nice. 132 00:04:56,726 --> 00:04:58,861 Mm-hmm. It's a beautiful place. 133 00:04:58,895 --> 00:05:01,113 Great place to let her down easy. 134 00:05:01,164 --> 00:05:04,116 Oh, no, no, I mean that must be nice to have parents. 135 00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:06,552 Oh. Hmm. 136 00:05:06,586 --> 00:05:09,238 ♪ time to have a little kiss ♪ 137 00:05:09,256 --> 00:05:11,073 - No. - Mm. Sorry. 138 00:05:11,091 --> 00:05:13,259 Right. No kisses till the breakup is official. 139 00:05:13,293 --> 00:05:14,677 - Yes. - I believe in that. 140 00:05:14,711 --> 00:05:16,445 - Yes. So do I. - I think that's important. 141 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,431 That is important. Bummer... But important. 142 00:05:18,465 --> 00:05:19,932 - Important. - Mm-hmm. 143 00:05:19,966 --> 00:05:22,601 I can't believe he's making us throw a party for her. 144 00:05:22,636 --> 00:05:23,752 - I know, right? - She's always late. 145 00:05:23,770 --> 00:05:25,104 She's always rude. 146 00:05:25,138 --> 00:05:28,224 It kinda makes me want to throw a really bad party. 147 00:05:28,258 --> 00:05:29,792 - Yeah. - On purpose. 148 00:05:29,826 --> 00:05:31,627 Phyllis! 149 00:05:31,661 --> 00:05:33,429 [Laughs] We should do it 150 00:05:33,447 --> 00:05:34,947 right here in the break room. 151 00:05:34,981 --> 00:05:36,732 [Giggling] 152 00:05:36,766 --> 00:05:38,401 Order carrot cake. 153 00:05:38,435 --> 00:05:41,654 [Laughter] 154 00:05:41,688 --> 00:05:43,155 And Jessica, just so you know, 155 00:05:43,206 --> 00:05:44,740 this is way more about my love for Erin 156 00:05:44,774 --> 00:05:46,492 than anything wrong with you. 157 00:05:46,543 --> 00:05:48,961 Well, Andy, I'm upset, but... 158 00:05:48,995 --> 00:05:50,613 You did this in the best way possible, 159 00:05:50,647 --> 00:05:53,499 and I knew you as a lover... 160 00:05:53,550 --> 00:05:55,801 And I'll remember you as a gentleman. 161 00:05:55,836 --> 00:05:58,604 Okay. That was one minute and ten seconds. 162 00:05:58,638 --> 00:06:01,424 - Consider it nailed. - [Vocalizing] 163 00:06:01,458 --> 00:06:02,591 I think we should try it again. 164 00:06:02,625 --> 00:06:05,144 This time, worst-case scenario. 165 00:06:05,178 --> 00:06:06,645 Okay, here we go. Jessica, 166 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,964 I'm really sorry. I just need you to know-- 167 00:06:08,982 --> 00:06:10,433 - [Whining] What? 168 00:06:10,467 --> 00:06:12,234 I just need you to know-- 169 00:06:12,269 --> 00:06:15,137 What is it? I didn't sleep well last night. 170 00:06:15,155 --> 00:06:17,189 [Laughs] 171 00:06:18,492 --> 00:06:20,142 Ugh! 172 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,144 - Ow. - Nellie, that reminds me. 173 00:06:22,162 --> 00:06:23,446 Do you want this chair in the bedroom? 174 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:24,780 'Cause to be honest, I don't think 175 00:06:24,814 --> 00:06:25,998 it's gonna fit through the door. 176 00:06:26,032 --> 00:06:27,500 Don't listen to Jim. 177 00:06:27,534 --> 00:06:28,951 Have you ever seen him play Tetris? 178 00:06:28,985 --> 00:06:31,170 "Oh, I think I'll just use this line horizontally. 179 00:06:31,204 --> 00:06:33,706 Oh, I had no idea what a gift this line is." 180 00:06:33,757 --> 00:06:36,492 - The one time-- - I will get the chair in. 181 00:06:36,510 --> 00:06:38,627 Watch the great Schrutini work his magic. 182 00:06:38,661 --> 00:06:40,429 Oh, no. Really? Magic? 183 00:06:40,464 --> 00:06:42,298 No, no, no. Let's not go there. 184 00:06:42,332 --> 00:06:45,885 No, nothing is more repellant than magicians. 185 00:06:45,936 --> 00:06:49,054 Bunch of grown men waving wands, 186 00:06:49,106 --> 00:06:51,223 pulling bunnies out of body crevices. 187 00:06:51,274 --> 00:06:53,826 Magicians are repulsive. Next topic. 188 00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:56,228 [Cell phone rings] Excuse me, one second. 189 00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:58,564 - Hi. - Hey, what's up? 190 00:06:58,615 --> 00:07:01,200 Ah, nothing, just hauling some cube with Dwight. 191 00:07:01,234 --> 00:07:02,568 [Shouting] Haulin' cube! 192 00:07:02,619 --> 00:07:03,953 That's moving boxes. 193 00:07:03,987 --> 00:07:06,855 We just came up with the term to make it sound cooler. 194 00:07:06,873 --> 00:07:08,524 So we're planning this party for Nellie, 195 00:07:08,542 --> 00:07:10,743 and we're gonna make it really bad. 196 00:07:10,794 --> 00:07:12,261 Sounds like every other party. 197 00:07:12,295 --> 00:07:14,580 No. We're gonna make it like a prank. 198 00:07:14,614 --> 00:07:17,516 Like order bad food, give her this passive-aggressive card. 199 00:07:17,551 --> 00:07:19,468 Oh! Hire a magician. 200 00:07:19,503 --> 00:07:21,220 - What? - Trust me. 201 00:07:21,254 --> 00:07:23,705 [Laughing] Okay. 202 00:07:29,379 --> 00:07:30,513 Oh. 203 00:07:30,547 --> 00:07:32,348 Wow. There's a lot of cars here. 204 00:07:32,382 --> 00:07:34,233 This is just weird. 205 00:07:35,769 --> 00:07:37,186 Andy! 206 00:07:37,220 --> 00:07:39,522 Hey, what are you doing here? 207 00:07:39,556 --> 00:07:41,106 Hey, Lauren. Look at you. 208 00:07:41,158 --> 00:07:43,075 Well, I know. Look at me. 209 00:07:43,109 --> 00:07:45,060 I was just on my way back from this business trip, 210 00:07:45,078 --> 00:07:46,612 thought I'd stop and say hi to Jessica. 211 00:07:46,663 --> 00:07:47,947 Aww! [Clicks tongue] 212 00:07:47,998 --> 00:07:50,366 Why is Erin with me? That's a great question. 213 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:51,700 She is my coworker, 214 00:07:51,734 --> 00:07:55,254 and she needed a ride because she totaled her car. 215 00:07:55,288 --> 00:07:56,872 Oh. God. 216 00:07:56,906 --> 00:07:58,257 So I'm Erin. Hi. 217 00:07:58,291 --> 00:08:00,042 - Yep. This is Erin. - Nice to meet you. 218 00:08:00,076 --> 00:08:01,927 [Gasps] 219 00:08:01,962 --> 00:08:04,580 Well, Jess went out for a run, 220 00:08:04,598 --> 00:08:06,415 but she'll be back soon. 221 00:08:06,433 --> 00:08:07,766 - Mm-hmm. - Hey, ladies. 222 00:08:07,801 --> 00:08:10,402 Andy's here. 223 00:08:10,437 --> 00:08:13,589 [Softly] Okay, Andy, that is a bachelorette party, 224 00:08:13,607 --> 00:08:15,808 this is Jessica's friends, 225 00:08:15,859 --> 00:08:17,610 an they've been drinking during the daytime. 226 00:08:17,644 --> 00:08:19,645 Should we go? 227 00:08:19,696 --> 00:08:21,814 You know, we had such a quick window to make this work, 228 00:08:21,865 --> 00:08:23,649 I think we should probably just-- 229 00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:24,934 Oh, Jess! [Claps] 230 00:08:24,968 --> 00:08:27,486 Look who stopped by after his business trip. 231 00:08:27,537 --> 00:08:30,456 Andy! Hey! 232 00:08:30,490 --> 00:08:32,241 I wonder if king-sized sheets 233 00:08:32,275 --> 00:08:34,677 are called presidential-sized in england. 234 00:08:34,711 --> 00:08:37,429 I really should have a tweeter account. 235 00:08:37,464 --> 00:08:39,832 Yes, you should. 236 00:08:41,001 --> 00:08:42,434 Ooh! 237 00:08:42,469 --> 00:08:45,588 "Nellie, don't open, stupid. Love, Nellie." 238 00:08:45,622 --> 00:08:48,924 - I have to see these shoes. - I doubt that they're sh-- 239 00:08:48,958 --> 00:08:52,978 - [Exhales] - Whoa. 240 00:08:53,013 --> 00:08:55,648 Who's this guy? 241 00:08:55,682 --> 00:08:57,633 Here's the two of them taking a hike. 242 00:08:57,651 --> 00:08:59,602 I'm guessing he's some kind of friend. 243 00:08:59,636 --> 00:09:01,437 Boyfriend. 244 00:09:01,471 --> 00:09:03,138 Here's the two of them kissing at a beach 245 00:09:03,156 --> 00:09:06,025 and kissing at the Eiffel Tower. 246 00:09:06,076 --> 00:09:08,360 I'm guessing he's some kind of close romantic friend. 247 00:09:08,411 --> 00:09:09,811 Like a boyfriend? 248 00:09:09,829 --> 00:09:12,615 - You read my mind. - Yeah. 249 00:09:12,649 --> 00:09:15,951 Whoa. Here's one with his face whited out. 250 00:09:15,985 --> 00:09:18,037 Hmm. Maybe someone threw a pie in his face. 251 00:09:18,088 --> 00:09:20,172 New theory-- He's a hated Italian politician. 252 00:09:20,206 --> 00:09:21,957 Better theory-- This is her ex-boyfriend, 253 00:09:21,991 --> 00:09:24,209 and they went through some kind of painful breakup. 254 00:09:24,261 --> 00:09:25,778 - Oh, Nellie. - Oh. 255 00:09:25,812 --> 00:09:28,631 I'm so sorry. We were just... 256 00:09:28,665 --> 00:09:30,599 I see you've discovered Benjamin. 257 00:09:30,634 --> 00:09:34,103 That's what I call my box full of photos of Henry. 258 00:09:34,137 --> 00:09:35,888 - Why not call... - Shh! 259 00:09:39,026 --> 00:09:41,758 God. We owned a flat together. 260 00:09:41,928 --> 00:09:44,263 Then one morning, just like that, he was gone. 261 00:09:44,314 --> 00:09:46,916 He ran off with the waitress at our favorite restaurant. 262 00:09:46,950 --> 00:09:49,551 That's awful. 263 00:09:49,569 --> 00:09:51,520 What kind of restaurant? 264 00:09:51,554 --> 00:09:52,738 Dwight. 265 00:09:52,773 --> 00:09:54,106 I couldn't afford the flat myself. 266 00:09:54,157 --> 00:09:56,292 So I sold it at a loss. 267 00:09:56,326 --> 00:09:58,861 Ah, but what's ten years of bliss down the drain 268 00:09:58,895 --> 00:10:00,863 compared with the thrill of starting over 269 00:10:00,897 --> 00:10:02,865 with nothing and no one? 270 00:10:02,899 --> 00:10:04,166 I'm so sorry. 271 00:10:04,201 --> 00:10:05,901 These must be very painful memories. 272 00:10:05,919 --> 00:10:07,536 If it would help you to forget, 273 00:10:07,570 --> 00:10:11,590 I could hit you in the brain stem with this candle stick. 274 00:10:11,625 --> 00:10:13,242 [Softly] Thank you. 275 00:10:13,260 --> 00:10:14,710 No. 276 00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:17,563 Jim, Dwight, please... 277 00:10:17,597 --> 00:10:18,931 [Sniffles] 278 00:10:18,965 --> 00:10:20,633 Don't tell anyone about this. 279 00:10:20,684 --> 00:10:22,985 No, no. Of course. 280 00:10:23,019 --> 00:10:25,688 Just one quick question. 281 00:10:25,722 --> 00:10:28,390 Was this, um, Halloween or... 282 00:10:28,424 --> 00:10:30,309 No. 283 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,878 That's the most embarrassing thing of all of this. 284 00:10:32,913 --> 00:10:34,429 What kind of fool gets her heart broken 285 00:10:34,447 --> 00:10:36,598 by a bloody stage magician? 286 00:10:38,702 --> 00:10:40,152 Hey, you know what, Pam? 287 00:10:40,203 --> 00:10:42,121 I was thinking maybe we should change course here. 288 00:10:42,155 --> 00:10:43,239 Let's give up on all this mean stuff. 289 00:10:43,273 --> 00:10:45,391 What? No! No, I just had 290 00:10:45,425 --> 00:10:47,910 this brilliant idea-- Everyone loved it. 291 00:10:47,944 --> 00:10:49,879 You don't have a copyright on pranks. 292 00:10:49,913 --> 00:10:51,931 I might be better at this than you. 293 00:10:51,965 --> 00:10:54,116 - No, that's not what I-- - Jim, could you give us a hand? 294 00:10:54,134 --> 00:10:55,334 Absolutely. Yeah. 295 00:10:55,385 --> 00:10:56,969 [Whispers] Call it off, Pam. Call it off, okay? 296 00:10:57,003 --> 00:10:58,771 It's way more complicated than you think. 297 00:10:58,805 --> 00:11:00,622 Cancel the magician. Trust me. 298 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:02,224 Oh. O-okay. 299 00:11:02,259 --> 00:11:04,677 Okay, I will. 300 00:11:07,964 --> 00:11:10,516 - Pam, we have a great idea. - Listen to this. 301 00:11:10,567 --> 00:11:12,134 We're gonna have the fluorescent lights flickering. 302 00:11:12,152 --> 00:11:13,769 It's gonna make everyone sick. 303 00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:16,105 - Or what if... - Okay. 304 00:11:16,139 --> 00:11:17,690 We discuss... [Women giggling] 305 00:11:17,741 --> 00:11:20,776 The idea of doing the party 306 00:11:20,810 --> 00:11:22,161 totally normal? 307 00:11:22,195 --> 00:11:24,330 Like... Not mean. 308 00:11:24,364 --> 00:11:26,632 Just a regular party. 309 00:11:26,666 --> 00:11:28,617 Not mean. 310 00:11:28,651 --> 00:11:29,702 I knew she'd crack! 311 00:11:29,753 --> 00:11:31,704 I wanted to leave you out, you know. 312 00:11:31,755 --> 00:11:32,922 We're in far too deep. 313 00:11:32,956 --> 00:11:34,489 We can't change course at this point. 314 00:11:34,507 --> 00:11:36,342 What are you talking about? Of course we can. 315 00:11:36,376 --> 00:11:38,043 What I mean to say is we don't want to. 316 00:11:38,094 --> 00:11:39,628 Toots, we're not stopping this train, 317 00:11:39,662 --> 00:11:41,897 so get off the tracks. 318 00:11:41,932 --> 00:11:43,349 Suck it! 319 00:11:43,383 --> 00:11:45,301 [Whooping, applause] 320 00:11:45,335 --> 00:11:47,186 - Andy-- - It'll be fine. 321 00:11:47,220 --> 00:11:48,554 Just act natural. 322 00:11:48,605 --> 00:11:50,222 Do you want a gummy penis? 323 00:11:50,273 --> 00:11:52,658 No, I'll just have some gummy bears. 324 00:11:52,692 --> 00:11:55,227 - These are delicious. - But... they're penises. 325 00:11:55,278 --> 00:11:57,396 And we come to Matthew, 326 00:11:57,447 --> 00:11:59,231 the guy who was with his old girlfriend 327 00:11:59,282 --> 00:12:01,367 basically the whole time we were together. 328 00:12:01,401 --> 00:12:02,517 - Oh! - Eew! 329 00:12:02,535 --> 00:12:05,070 Eew! Aw! That seems gross... 330 00:12:05,105 --> 00:12:07,156 At first blush, right? 331 00:12:07,190 --> 00:12:10,676 But relationships are always more complicated than you think. 332 00:12:10,710 --> 00:12:14,830 I mean, we don't know Matthew's history with this other woman. 333 00:12:14,864 --> 00:12:18,083 Maybe she saved his life. [Laughs] I don't know. 334 00:12:18,134 --> 00:12:20,035 I just-- I don't think we should rush to judgment 335 00:12:20,053 --> 00:12:21,904 about Matthew. Maybe we don't pop that one. 336 00:12:21,938 --> 00:12:23,505 - No, pop Matthew. - Pop it! 337 00:12:23,539 --> 00:12:26,725 - Pop it! - [Whooping] 338 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,177 - Hey. - Hey. 339 00:12:28,211 --> 00:12:30,346 Sorry. It's kind of a madhouse. 340 00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:32,231 - Aah! - Oh! 341 00:12:32,265 --> 00:12:33,732 Ha ha ha! Megan! 342 00:12:33,767 --> 00:12:35,851 You are one of the good ones, nard dog. 343 00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:37,686 - Aw... - No, really. 344 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:38,887 Where's my Andy? 345 00:12:38,905 --> 00:12:41,223 - I dunno. - Oh, he's out there. 346 00:12:41,241 --> 00:12:43,225 Are you gonna sing for us? 347 00:12:43,243 --> 00:12:45,027 Well, you guys are doing a pretty good job 348 00:12:45,061 --> 00:12:46,745 with the scary yelling, so... 349 00:12:46,780 --> 00:12:48,414 That's not like you. That's not like you. 350 00:12:48,448 --> 00:12:50,899 Come on, sing! Sing! 351 00:12:50,917 --> 00:12:53,953 ♪ beyond Bonnie Banks ♪ 352 00:12:54,004 --> 00:12:57,122 ♪ and beyond Bonnie Brae's ♪ 353 00:12:57,173 --> 00:12:58,924 Okay, they're almost here. 354 00:12:58,959 --> 00:13:01,210 What? Come on! 355 00:13:01,244 --> 00:13:04,546 If you guys are gonna be mean, can you at least be subtle? 356 00:13:04,580 --> 00:13:08,217 Oh, in the warehouse we use code names 357 00:13:08,251 --> 00:13:09,852 for people we want to talk about. 358 00:13:09,886 --> 00:13:13,088 Andy was Jelly Roll. Mike was Dennis The Menace. 359 00:13:13,106 --> 00:13:14,589 Ryan was douche bag. 360 00:13:14,607 --> 00:13:17,276 Hey, that's not a code name. That's just an insult. 361 00:13:17,310 --> 00:13:18,644 Plus, everyone would know who you meant. 362 00:13:18,695 --> 00:13:20,646 - Yeah. - No. That's a great idea. 363 00:13:20,697 --> 00:13:22,481 Yes, let's have a code name. How 'bout mondays? 364 00:13:22,532 --> 00:13:25,600 I hate mondays? Mondays are the worst? 365 00:13:25,618 --> 00:13:26,986 Nobody's named Monday. 366 00:13:27,037 --> 00:13:28,954 Hey, how 'bout we go with Pam? 367 00:13:28,989 --> 00:13:30,272 Simple, easy to remember. 368 00:13:30,290 --> 00:13:33,158 'Cause there's someone already here named Pam. 369 00:13:33,209 --> 00:13:35,494 All: Hey! 370 00:13:35,528 --> 00:13:37,096 Welcome to your party. 371 00:13:37,130 --> 00:13:38,430 Everybody get comfy now. 372 00:13:38,465 --> 00:13:41,300 This first song's over a half hour long. 373 00:13:41,334 --> 00:13:44,303 [Playing off-tune notes] 374 00:13:47,007 --> 00:13:48,257 Best gig ever. 375 00:13:48,291 --> 00:13:50,459 They asked me to play only originals. 376 00:13:50,477 --> 00:13:52,261 I said, "Have you heard my originals? 377 00:13:52,295 --> 00:13:54,613 They're terrible." They said, "Even better." 378 00:13:54,647 --> 00:13:56,415 I said, "I get it. 379 00:13:56,449 --> 00:13:59,168 It's an ironic party for Nellie." 380 00:13:59,202 --> 00:14:00,686 Maybe we should just go. 381 00:14:00,737 --> 00:14:03,355 No. I gotta do this. 382 00:14:03,406 --> 00:14:05,274 Hey, Jessica, can I talk to you? 383 00:14:05,308 --> 00:14:07,326 Uh, yeah, sure. What's up? 384 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:08,994 Maybe we could talk in private. 385 00:14:09,029 --> 00:14:11,697 Uh... yeah. What is it? 386 00:14:11,748 --> 00:14:13,665 Well, first let me just say 387 00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:17,269 that I hope when I'm done with the sort of ugly bits 388 00:14:17,303 --> 00:14:19,171 that we can stay friends. 389 00:14:19,205 --> 00:14:20,806 You're breaking up with me? 390 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,958 Uh... No. 391 00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,176 No. 392 00:14:24,210 --> 00:14:26,879 You always do this. You twist my words around. 393 00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:29,882 Part of me thinks we should just end this right now. 394 00:14:29,933 --> 00:14:32,217 Oh, my God. 395 00:14:32,268 --> 00:14:33,552 Are you leaving me for Erin? 396 00:14:33,603 --> 00:14:36,638 You said she wasn't relationship material, 397 00:14:36,672 --> 00:14:38,840 and she wasn't as good as me, but it's her, isn't it? 398 00:14:38,858 --> 00:14:40,309 Whoa! 399 00:14:40,343 --> 00:14:41,343 That-- No. 400 00:14:41,361 --> 00:14:42,344 Okay. 401 00:14:42,362 --> 00:14:43,979 You want honesty? 402 00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:46,698 Super-honesty time. 403 00:14:46,733 --> 00:14:48,067 I'm gay. 404 00:14:48,118 --> 00:14:49,318 What? 405 00:14:49,352 --> 00:14:52,854 I am gay, and I prefer men. 406 00:14:52,872 --> 00:14:55,157 - I knew it! - You did not, Kenny! 407 00:14:55,191 --> 00:14:57,076 You invited me to go shopping with you. 408 00:14:57,127 --> 00:14:59,194 I like hanging out with you. 409 00:14:59,212 --> 00:15:01,163 You're a cool guy. 410 00:15:01,197 --> 00:15:03,582 Which proves my point. That I'm gay. 411 00:15:03,633 --> 00:15:06,001 Andy, you're not gay. 412 00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:08,420 I mean, we were... together. 413 00:15:08,471 --> 00:15:11,056 And you seemed pretty excitable. 414 00:15:11,091 --> 00:15:13,342 Well, I was faking it. 415 00:15:13,376 --> 00:15:15,144 I had to fake it every time. 416 00:15:15,178 --> 00:15:17,212 I had to imagine that I was in a steam room 417 00:15:17,230 --> 00:15:18,514 with John Stamos. 418 00:15:18,548 --> 00:15:22,851 I can't say it doesn't make sense... 419 00:15:22,885 --> 00:15:24,236 - Well... - Look, it's-- 420 00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:26,221 I mean, I was good at hiding it, but-- 421 00:15:26,239 --> 00:15:28,390 It's fine, Andy. 422 00:15:28,408 --> 00:15:31,076 I didn't think we were gonna get married or anything. 423 00:15:31,111 --> 00:15:33,245 I just... 424 00:15:33,279 --> 00:15:34,613 I'm just upset for now. 425 00:15:34,664 --> 00:15:36,248 Understandable. 426 00:15:36,282 --> 00:15:38,417 And I'm really sorry. 427 00:15:38,451 --> 00:15:40,252 I really am. 428 00:15:40,286 --> 00:15:41,954 [Grunts] 429 00:15:43,256 --> 00:15:46,208 So... we should probably... 430 00:15:46,242 --> 00:15:48,677 go. 431 00:15:56,073 --> 00:15:58,241 This humble but sincere effort 432 00:15:58,292 --> 00:16:00,693 is all for our valued new colleague. 433 00:16:00,711 --> 00:16:02,345 Excellent. 434 00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:03,580 To Nellie Bertram. 435 00:16:03,631 --> 00:16:05,582 You are a most welcome and friendly presence 436 00:16:05,633 --> 00:16:06,750 at our company. 437 00:16:06,801 --> 00:16:09,219 - Cheers. - Why, thank you. 438 00:16:09,253 --> 00:16:11,554 Pam, on the other hand, 439 00:16:11,589 --> 00:16:14,924 is a most unwelcome, entitled, unfriendly presence 440 00:16:14,976 --> 00:16:16,393 in our company. 441 00:16:16,427 --> 00:16:18,895 All: Cheers. 442 00:16:18,929 --> 00:16:21,398 Nellie is terrific, 443 00:16:21,432 --> 00:16:23,183 but to be honest, 444 00:16:23,217 --> 00:16:25,602 every day I imagine how happy I'd be 445 00:16:25,653 --> 00:16:26,870 if Pam died. 446 00:16:26,904 --> 00:16:28,989 [Laughter] 447 00:16:29,023 --> 00:16:30,774 Oh. Well. 448 00:16:30,825 --> 00:16:33,493 I feel that as someone who knows Pam 449 00:16:33,527 --> 00:16:35,528 only a little bit... 450 00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:37,730 Enough. A good amount. 451 00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:39,699 Not the most, though. 452 00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:41,584 I would say that she is misunderstood 453 00:16:41,619 --> 00:16:44,504 and that maybe there's some stuff in her past 454 00:16:44,538 --> 00:16:46,006 that you guys don't know about 455 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:47,374 that's a little messed up, 456 00:16:47,408 --> 00:16:49,793 and probably makes her such a torture to work with. 457 00:16:49,844 --> 00:16:52,545 We hate Pam. We hate Pam. 458 00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:55,548 All: We hate Pam! We hate Pam! 459 00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,801 - We hate pa-- - So we've established... 460 00:16:57,852 --> 00:17:00,220 - No. No. - That you guys hate Pam. 461 00:17:00,254 --> 00:17:04,391 Do you ever wish she would just... Disappear? 462 00:17:04,425 --> 00:17:05,558 Oh! 463 00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,777 [Laughter, murmuring] 464 00:17:09,497 --> 00:17:11,081 That was a really rough scene. 465 00:17:11,115 --> 00:17:13,650 - Right? Rough scene. - Yeah. 466 00:17:15,536 --> 00:17:17,603 Oh... At least we can kiss now. 467 00:17:17,621 --> 00:17:19,706 Oh, yeah. 468 00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:26,079 You know, that stuff that I said about you to her... 469 00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:28,581 I did-- That's just-- I had to say it. 470 00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:30,967 You know, I was dating her at the time. 471 00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:32,185 Yeah. 472 00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:34,270 Yes, of course. 473 00:17:35,673 --> 00:17:38,124 - Ah... I feel really tired. - Yeah. 474 00:17:38,142 --> 00:17:40,026 Probably from seeing that turkey. 475 00:17:40,061 --> 00:17:42,512 - Oh, yeah. - When we drove by the farm. 476 00:17:42,563 --> 00:17:45,298 Ohh. Always does it. 477 00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:53,940 Are you Nellie? Oh, I think you're my volunteer. 478 00:17:53,974 --> 00:17:55,442 Come on over here, huh? 479 00:17:55,476 --> 00:17:57,277 [Laughing] 480 00:17:57,311 --> 00:17:59,462 Oh, I'll do it. I will volunteer. 481 00:17:59,497 --> 00:18:01,114 - No, Nell-- She-- - I'll do it. 482 00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:04,000 Oh! Big guy, huh? How's the air up there? 483 00:18:04,034 --> 00:18:07,153 Watch out for... birds. 484 00:18:07,171 --> 00:18:08,788 [Chuckling] 485 00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:12,825 All right, let's, uh-- Let's do some card magic. 486 00:18:12,843 --> 00:18:14,844 Now, what I want you to do is... 487 00:18:14,879 --> 00:18:17,680 I want you to pick a card just by looking at it. 488 00:18:17,715 --> 00:18:20,683 Do not say what it is. 489 00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,154 It's the 4 of hearts. 490 00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:26,189 Oh, no, you-- 491 00:18:26,223 --> 00:18:29,526 Looks like we got a guy from another country here, huh? 492 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:32,362 No hablo el cardo, señor? 493 00:18:32,396 --> 00:18:33,696 Hmm? Ha. 494 00:18:33,731 --> 00:18:35,148 All right, the card is picked. 495 00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:38,401 Now, sir, will you please shuffle the deck? 496 00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:47,343 You didn't just do that on... Purpose, did ya? 497 00:18:47,378 --> 00:18:49,829 Why is Jim treating the magician poorly? 498 00:18:49,863 --> 00:18:51,464 Little known fact about me-- 499 00:18:51,499 --> 00:18:55,301 Before I was a magician, I used to work... 500 00:18:55,336 --> 00:18:56,869 - at a rope factory. - Not true. 501 00:18:56,887 --> 00:18:58,588 'Cause that's not a real place. 502 00:18:58,639 --> 00:19:01,724 But I never could seem to figure out those knots. 503 00:19:01,759 --> 00:19:02,926 That's not a real knot. 504 00:19:02,977 --> 00:19:04,477 When you pull on it, it disappears. 505 00:19:04,512 --> 00:19:06,012 [Yells] What the hell? 506 00:19:06,046 --> 00:19:07,514 All right, where's Phyllis? 507 00:19:07,548 --> 00:19:09,766 Who's Phyllis? 508 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,184 Look! 509 00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:13,553 This is really uncool, okay? 510 00:19:13,571 --> 00:19:15,438 I put on a clean show here-- 511 00:19:15,489 --> 00:19:16,856 - Okay, scram, wizard. - What? 512 00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:18,441 - You heard me! - Ho oh! 513 00:19:18,492 --> 00:19:20,193 Well, Nellie, I'm sorry. 514 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:22,695 If I'd known Jim and Pam 515 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,881 would use this party as an excuse 516 00:19:24,915 --> 00:19:26,382 to abuse a magician-- 517 00:19:26,417 --> 00:19:28,585 Well, I thought it was quite fun. 518 00:19:28,619 --> 00:19:31,037 In fact, I think they're brilliant employees 519 00:19:31,071 --> 00:19:32,255 in their own way. 520 00:19:32,289 --> 00:19:34,791 Don't you see what I see? 521 00:19:34,842 --> 00:19:36,376 Interesting. Yes. 522 00:19:36,410 --> 00:19:38,461 No, yes, I see that. 523 00:19:38,512 --> 00:19:40,746 Great work, team. 524 00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:42,599 Great party. 525 00:19:42,633 --> 00:19:45,018 You think this is a great party? 526 00:19:45,052 --> 00:19:47,954 This cake has vegetables in it. 527 00:19:47,988 --> 00:19:50,023 Like a salad bar, Robert. 528 00:19:50,057 --> 00:19:52,775 How do I get this taste out of my mouth? 529 00:19:56,146 --> 00:19:57,814 What? Why are we-- 530 00:19:57,865 --> 00:20:00,266 - I just gotta do one thing. 531 00:20:05,939 --> 00:20:07,607 Oh. Hello. 532 00:20:07,625 --> 00:20:09,409 Hey, everybody, look who's here. 533 00:20:09,443 --> 00:20:10,660 What are you doing here? 534 00:20:10,711 --> 00:20:13,580 Hi. Super-duper honesty time. 535 00:20:13,614 --> 00:20:15,281 I'm not gay. 536 00:20:15,299 --> 00:20:17,750 In fact, I'm so not gay that I'm in love with a girl. 537 00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:21,437 Her name is Erin Hannon, and she's right there. 538 00:20:21,472 --> 00:20:23,973 She's sweet, funny, and beautiful, 539 00:20:24,008 --> 00:20:27,443 and total relationship material. 540 00:20:27,478 --> 00:20:28,945 Why the hell did you come back here? 541 00:20:28,979 --> 00:20:30,930 - Go away. - Get lost. 542 00:20:30,964 --> 00:20:32,682 - Get out! - Okay. 543 00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:33,933 - You're done! - Bye, guys. 544 00:20:33,967 --> 00:20:35,318 Get out. You ruined my party! 545 00:20:37,271 --> 00:20:38,638 Who does that? Are you kidding me? 546 00:20:38,656 --> 00:20:40,106 Yeah, run away, Andy. 547 00:20:40,140 --> 00:20:41,658 - Run away! - You're disgusting! 548 00:20:41,692 --> 00:20:44,977 I can't believe you're not gay! 549 00:20:44,995 --> 00:20:48,197 - Yeah, get outta here. - Don't come back. 550 00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:52,035 Uh-oh. [Laughing] 551 00:20:52,086 --> 00:20:53,202 - You don't even know how to drive! - Bye, Andy! 552 00:20:53,254 --> 00:20:55,338 - Loser! - Nice car! 553 00:20:55,372 --> 00:20:56,489 Have fun! 554 00:21:02,808 --> 00:21:04,746 - Hey, Hank. - Yes, ma'am. 555 00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:08,844 I thought I was very specific about not letting up a magician? 556 00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:11,074 Yes, ma'am. I got my eyes open. 557 00:21:11,171 --> 00:21:13,294 Oh, turns out that he actually made it up there. 558 00:21:13,413 --> 00:21:15,266 What? That ain't right. 559 00:21:15,353 --> 00:21:17,014 Yeah, he came and went. 560 00:21:18,063 --> 00:21:19,469 Wait a minute! 561 00:21:20,202 --> 00:21:22,141 You said he was a magician, right? 562 00:21:22,719 --> 00:21:25,850 You don't think he could have used... It couldn't have been... 563 00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:28,474 Just let's go... 564 00:21:28,932 --> 00:21:30,008 Night, night. 565 00:21:31,049 --> 00:21:36,726 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net