1
00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:06,602
The building's custodian is
on vacation for the month,
2
00:00:06,704 --> 00:00:08,886
and Dwight is too chip to
hire a replacement.
3
00:00:08,998 --> 00:00:10,918
So, instead,
we're living in filth,
4
00:00:11,037 --> 00:00:12,430
but, not for long...
5
00:00:12,532 --> 00:00:16,042
because I have created
the chore wheel.
6
00:00:16,332 --> 00:00:19,170
Oh, yeah.
Can I spin first?
7
00:00:19,272 --> 00:00:21,372
Well, it doesn't spin.
We'll just move the wheel
8
00:00:21,374 --> 00:00:24,575
one notch each morning,
and you see what chore
9
00:00:24,577 --> 00:00:25,609
you get that day.
10
00:00:25,611 --> 00:00:27,111
A wheel is supposed to spin.
11
00:00:27,113 --> 00:00:29,180
Yeah, you know,
like "guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-guh
12
00:00:29,182 --> 00:00:31,315
guh-guh-guh-guh-h-guh--"
- No, I'm familiar
13
00:00:31,317 --> 00:00:32,650
with spinning.
It's just that wouldn't work
14
00:00:32,652 --> 00:00:34,552
with the chore wheel
because people might get
15
00:00:34,554 --> 00:00:37,121
the same chore--
- Yuck. Boring.
16
00:00:37,123 --> 00:00:38,823
All she talks about is chores.
17
00:00:38,825 --> 00:00:42,293
A wheel wants to spin, Pam.
18
00:00:42,295 --> 00:00:44,295
Spinning would be more fun.
19
00:00:46,898 --> 00:00:49,266
Okay.
20
00:00:49,268 --> 00:00:51,802
Okay, that's what
I'm talkin' about.
21
00:00:51,804 --> 00:00:52,970
- Woo!
- Wow!
22
00:00:52,972 --> 00:00:56,574
- Spinning!
- Big money, big money.
23
00:00:56,576 --> 00:00:58,409
Yeah!
24
00:00:58,411 --> 00:00:59,710
Mug duty?
25
00:00:59,712 --> 00:01:02,780
Yes, you clean all the mugs
in the sink.
26
00:01:02,782 --> 00:01:04,315
This sucks.
27
00:01:04,317 --> 00:01:05,783
Yeah, seriously,
it's like everything
28
00:01:05,785 --> 00:01:07,184
on there's work.
29
00:01:07,186 --> 00:01:09,620
I don't think you guys
understand why we're doing this.
30
00:01:09,622 --> 00:01:11,689
- It's--
- Yeah, and I don't think
31
00:01:11,691 --> 00:01:13,457
that you understand wheels.
32
00:01:14,961 --> 00:01:17,161
I've been through several rounds
of development
33
00:01:17,163 --> 00:01:19,196
with the team,
and here's where we stand
34
00:01:19,198 --> 00:01:22,333
with the chore wheel.
35
00:01:22,335 --> 00:01:24,001
We've got prizes!
36
00:01:24,003 --> 00:01:27,304
Ten bucks, candy bar,
manager for an hour.
37
00:01:27,306 --> 00:01:30,941
But there are also penalties,
like no internet,
38
00:01:30,943 --> 00:01:32,276
Stanley gets your lunch.
39
00:01:32,278 --> 00:01:34,311
The one thing
that is not on the chore wheel
40
00:01:34,313 --> 00:01:36,447
is chores, but they were right.
41
00:01:36,449 --> 00:01:38,115
It's more fun this way.
42
00:01:38,117 --> 00:01:41,285
Oh!
43
00:01:41,287 --> 00:01:43,087
Ahh! Whoo!
44
00:01:43,089 --> 00:01:45,656
- Tiny wheel!
- Tiny wheel!
45
00:01:45,658 --> 00:01:47,925
- Tiny wheel! Tiny wheel!
- There it is!
46
00:01:47,927 --> 00:01:51,095
The tiny wheel
actually does have chores.
47
00:01:51,097 --> 00:01:52,863
It's so cute,
no one seems to mind.
48
00:01:52,865 --> 00:01:53,964
- Toilets!
- Aww.
49
00:01:57,336 --> 00:01:59,069
- Tiny wheel.
- Lucky!
50
00:01:59,071 --> 00:02:00,537
- Good choice.
- Woo!
51
00:02:19,504 --> 00:02:21,403
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
52
00:02:22,294 --> 00:02:23,727
Pam, we gotta go!
53
00:02:23,729 --> 00:02:28,265
Cece, go back inside.
Grandma's got breakfast, okay?
54
00:02:28,267 --> 00:02:31,568
We are going to Roy's wedding.
55
00:02:31,570 --> 00:02:32,903
Yep, Roy.
56
00:02:32,905 --> 00:02:34,805
I think the only weird thing
about going
57
00:02:34,807 --> 00:02:36,206
to your wife's
ex-fiancee's wedding
58
00:02:36,208 --> 00:02:38,375
on a weekday at 8 AM
59
00:02:38,377 --> 00:02:39,677
is that it's
your wife's ex-fiancee.
60
00:02:39,679 --> 00:02:42,646
Thanks, mom!
61
00:02:42,648 --> 00:02:44,548
- Banana?
- Yeah.
62
00:02:44,550 --> 00:02:45,883
I'm afraid
he's only gonna have hot dogs.
63
00:02:45,885 --> 00:02:47,151
Oh, come on, not even Roy
64
00:02:47,153 --> 00:02:48,719
will have hot dogs
at his wedding.
65
00:02:48,721 --> 00:02:50,888
I planned a wedding with him.
He wanted hot dogs.
66
00:02:53,091 --> 00:02:56,660
Just-- it's so weird.
67
00:02:56,662 --> 00:02:58,696
Oh, Pete, you've got mail.
68
00:02:58,698 --> 00:03:00,030
Really?
I got somethin'?
69
00:03:00,032 --> 00:03:01,598
Well, it's addressed
to customer service,
70
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:02,866
so it's your mail.
71
00:03:02,868 --> 00:03:04,535
Well, you know,
I'm also customer service.
72
00:03:04,537 --> 00:03:05,769
Yeah, I'm alternating.
73
00:03:05,771 --> 00:03:07,037
Yay.
74
00:03:07,039 --> 00:03:08,539
Another person yellin' at me.
75
00:03:08,541 --> 00:03:10,407
Well, it could be
a nice letter.
76
00:03:10,409 --> 00:03:12,276
I write nice letters
to companies all the time.
77
00:03:12,278 --> 00:03:14,178
That's really nice.
78
00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:16,880
Wow, Newsweek, huh?
79
00:03:16,882 --> 00:03:20,317
This election thing
is crazy, right?
80
00:03:20,319 --> 00:03:21,986
It's open.
81
00:03:21,988 --> 00:03:23,620
Oh, yeah.
I accidentally read it.
82
00:03:23,622 --> 00:03:26,490
It's not a nice letter.
83
00:03:26,492 --> 00:03:31,095
Okay.
84
00:03:31,097 --> 00:03:32,696
Get excited.
85
00:03:32,698 --> 00:03:35,632
The special projects fairy
has arrived.
86
00:03:35,634 --> 00:03:38,068
I know you don't really exist.
87
00:03:38,070 --> 00:03:40,771
Today, I launch
my big charity initiative,
88
00:03:40,773 --> 00:03:42,639
"Operation Give Back."
89
00:03:42,641 --> 00:03:45,743
Andy has shot down all of
my special projects thus far,
90
00:03:45,745 --> 00:03:48,445
but this one is about charity
91
00:03:48,447 --> 00:03:51,382
so I'd like to see him
piss on that one.
92
00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:56,053
Darryl!
93
00:03:56,055 --> 00:03:57,621
Ho-o-o! What's happenin'?
94
00:03:57,623 --> 00:03:58,889
Congratulations, baby.
Yeah.
95
00:03:58,891 --> 00:04:00,891
Oh, thank you.
96
00:04:03,595 --> 00:04:05,896
- Is this his house?
- Think so.
97
00:04:05,898 --> 00:04:07,798
Mimosa?
98
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,767
- I'm okay.
- Thank you.
99
00:04:09,769 --> 00:04:13,570
Would you like me
to take your peel?
100
00:04:13,572 --> 00:04:15,572
Yes, thank you.
101
00:04:21,746 --> 00:04:23,480
Okay.
102
00:04:26,452 --> 00:04:27,751
Who's that?
103
00:04:27,753 --> 00:04:30,854
- Uh, my ex-fiancee.
- Ha-ha.
104
00:04:30,856 --> 00:04:33,924
I started a new business
with my college friend,
105
00:04:33,926 --> 00:04:35,492
but Pam doesn't know.
106
00:04:35,494 --> 00:04:38,429
Um, actually I--
I did tell Pam,
107
00:04:38,431 --> 00:04:41,398
and we decided no,
108
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,500
but then I decided
"yes, anyway,"
109
00:04:43,502 --> 00:04:46,904
so I'm thinking there's another
conversation coming,
110
00:04:46,906 --> 00:04:48,872
and it's hard to know
when that will be.
111
00:04:48,874 --> 00:04:52,810
With "Operation Give Back,"
you pick the charities
112
00:04:52,812 --> 00:04:53,944
Dunder Mifflin supports.
113
00:04:53,946 --> 00:04:56,947
Aw, boy.
What's happening?
114
00:04:56,949 --> 00:04:59,016
There's $4,000 to give away,
115
00:04:59,018 --> 00:05:01,018
so who has filled out
their forms?
116
00:05:01,020 --> 00:05:04,088
- Stanley?
- American Diabetes Association.
117
00:05:04,090 --> 00:05:06,890
Um, you have diabetes, Stanley.
118
00:05:06,892 --> 00:05:09,893
I'm sorry, is the assignment
to pick a selfish charity?
119
00:05:09,895 --> 00:05:12,529
I, uh, I would love
to give--
120
00:05:12,531 --> 00:05:14,031
Heifers International.
121
00:05:14,033 --> 00:05:16,767
Listen to this.
They give a poor person
122
00:05:16,769 --> 00:05:18,535
like a goat or something.
123
00:05:18,537 --> 00:05:20,104
It's a great prank.
124
00:05:20,106 --> 00:05:21,905
I wanna work
with, uh, Jimmy Carter
125
00:05:21,907 --> 00:05:23,040
and Help Build Gnomes.
126
00:05:23,042 --> 00:05:24,475
Dwight, what about you?
127
00:05:24,477 --> 00:05:25,976
I will not be participating,
128
00:05:25,978 --> 00:05:28,378
as there is no evidence
that charity works.
129
00:05:28,380 --> 00:05:30,447
Uh, correction--
I give to a foundation
130
00:05:30,449 --> 00:05:31,849
that teaches homeless children
131
00:05:31,851 --> 00:05:34,785
nautical flag signaling--
Changes Lives.
132
00:05:34,787 --> 00:05:37,754
- Thank you, Andy.
- I'm not doing it for you.
133
00:05:37,756 --> 00:05:38,822
I'm doing it
for the preservation
134
00:05:38,824 --> 00:05:40,424
of nautical flag signaling.
135
00:05:40,426 --> 00:05:42,593
Dwight, you will
be participating.
136
00:05:42,595 --> 00:05:44,895
- No, thank you.
- Participation is mandatory,
137
00:05:44,897 --> 00:05:48,665
Dwight, but you can choose
whatever cause you like.
138
00:05:48,667 --> 00:05:52,402
Fine, I choose
the Global Relief Foundation...
139
00:05:52,404 --> 00:05:54,404
- Great, thank you--
- ...which was recently discovered
140
00:05:54,406 --> 00:05:56,673
to be a front for the Taliban!
141
00:05:56,675 --> 00:05:58,609
- Oh, for goodness' sake.
- Oh, yeah.
142
00:05:58,611 --> 00:06:02,012
The Taliban
in Af-a-ghanistan.
143
00:06:02,014 --> 00:06:05,949
The Taliban is the worst.
144
00:06:05,951 --> 00:06:07,184
Great heroin, though.
145
00:06:07,186 --> 00:06:10,254
Dwight, I cannot have
the Taliban on the roster
146
00:06:10,256 --> 00:06:11,588
of "Operation Give Back."
147
00:06:11,590 --> 00:06:12,789
Well, then, it looks
like there won't be
148
00:06:12,791 --> 00:06:15,192
any "Operation Give Back."
149
00:06:15,194 --> 00:06:17,060
The nanny state is over,
ladies and gentlemen.
150
00:06:17,062 --> 00:06:20,464
You're welcome.
151
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,568
There he is.
152
00:06:24,570 --> 00:06:26,370
Is it almost time
to cut the pancake, or what?
153
00:06:26,372 --> 00:06:28,672
Aw, yeah.
We appreciate everyone
154
00:06:28,674 --> 00:06:30,407
coming so early.
155
00:06:30,409 --> 00:06:31,909
Everyone's just been so nice.
156
00:06:31,911 --> 00:06:33,243
Thanks for inviting us,
by the way.
157
00:06:33,245 --> 00:06:34,645
- That was-- that was a surprise.
- Are you kidding me?
158
00:06:34,647 --> 00:06:36,380
Come on, if it wasn't for you,
159
00:06:36,382 --> 00:06:38,048
I never would've met Laura.
160
00:06:38,050 --> 00:06:40,284
But seriously, could've dodged
a bullet on that one.
161
00:06:40,286 --> 00:06:41,418
- Just kidding.
- You're welcome.
162
00:06:41,420 --> 00:06:43,086
Thanks.
163
00:06:43,088 --> 00:06:44,354
Ohh.
164
00:06:44,356 --> 00:06:47,057
By the way, man,
this place is beautiful.
165
00:06:47,059 --> 00:06:49,126
I started a gravel company.
I mean, who knew
166
00:06:49,128 --> 00:06:50,194
it would take off?
167
00:06:50,196 --> 00:06:51,962
- Gravel company.
- Yeah.
168
00:06:51,964 --> 00:06:53,096
- What about you?
- What are you doing?
169
00:06:53,098 --> 00:06:55,999
Not gravel, obviously.
170
00:06:56,001 --> 00:06:57,134
Nah, things are good.
Things are good.
171
00:06:57,136 --> 00:06:58,635
Got some stuff in the works,
so...
172
00:06:58,637 --> 00:07:00,404
- Oh, cool.
- Yeah, you never know.
173
00:07:00,406 --> 00:07:03,840
Hey, bro, stop wasting time
with this haircut.
174
00:07:03,842 --> 00:07:06,343
He's got a $50,000 sports car.
175
00:07:06,345 --> 00:07:07,945
- Cheers.
- Okay, Kenny.
176
00:07:07,947 --> 00:07:10,214
Duncan, listen,
I would love to help you out,
177
00:07:10,216 --> 00:07:11,448
but where am I gonna
find somebody
178
00:07:11,450 --> 00:07:13,984
that's pretty, smart
and well-informed, huh?
179
00:07:13,986 --> 00:07:15,552
Hold on-- hold on!
180
00:07:15,554 --> 00:07:21,525
Erin, do you know anybody
that might--
181
00:07:21,527 --> 00:07:23,927
Oh, my gosh.
182
00:07:23,929 --> 00:07:25,629
You love the news, right?
183
00:07:25,631 --> 00:07:27,030
Well, it depends.
184
00:07:27,032 --> 00:07:30,167
I mean, sometimes I find out
things that are really sad.
185
00:07:30,169 --> 00:07:31,335
Well, I got a buddy
186
00:07:31,337 --> 00:07:33,203
that's a big time
local news producer,
187
00:07:33,205 --> 00:07:36,106
and I can't tell you his name,
but it'd blow your mind.
188
00:07:36,108 --> 00:07:37,808
Uh, is it Duncan?
189
00:07:37,810 --> 00:07:39,109
He's looking
for on-air talent,
190
00:07:39,111 --> 00:07:41,245
and he'd kill me
if I didn't get you on tape.
191
00:07:41,247 --> 00:07:42,779
You mean put me on the news?
192
00:07:42,781 --> 00:07:45,215
You'll just come over,
put on a little lipstick,
193
00:07:45,217 --> 00:07:46,883
loosen up
with a glass of red wine,
194
00:07:46,885 --> 00:07:49,219
and then we'll just run
through a few stories.
195
00:07:49,221 --> 00:07:50,587
You know, a couple
different ways
196
00:07:50,589 --> 00:07:52,789
with a couple different outfits.
It'd be really tasteful,
197
00:07:52,791 --> 00:07:55,092
and it'd really help me out
with Duncan--
198
00:07:55,094 --> 00:07:57,494
with my friend.
199
00:07:57,496 --> 00:07:59,029
What'd you say?
Ehh--
200
00:07:59,031 --> 00:08:01,265
No, maybe, okay?
Let me think about it.
201
00:08:01,267 --> 00:08:02,699
Okay.
202
00:08:02,701 --> 00:08:04,735
- Woo.
- Think it over.
203
00:08:07,705 --> 00:08:09,072
No, Clark's not my friend.
204
00:08:09,074 --> 00:08:11,742
He is the douche that sits
next to me at the office.
205
00:08:11,744 --> 00:08:14,011
My friends
are Scott, Glenn and Rob,
206
00:08:14,013 --> 00:08:15,812
but you don't know them.
207
00:08:15,814 --> 00:08:17,948
I never really thought much
about being more
208
00:08:17,950 --> 00:08:20,217
than a receptionist, but why?
209
00:08:20,219 --> 00:08:22,452
Because I happened
to answer a "help wanted" ad
210
00:08:22,454 --> 00:08:23,587
to be a receptionist?
211
00:08:23,589 --> 00:08:27,124
I mean, what if the ad
had been for a CEO
212
00:08:27,126 --> 00:08:28,759
or for a brain surgeon?
213
00:08:28,761 --> 00:08:31,261
So, uh, it was a year ago today
214
00:08:31,263 --> 00:08:33,363
that I met Laura.
215
00:08:33,365 --> 00:08:35,132
I thought she was my waitress,
216
00:08:35,134 --> 00:08:37,134
and, uh, took her three weeks
217
00:08:37,136 --> 00:08:39,169
to tell me that she actually
owned the place.
218
00:08:39,171 --> 00:08:40,637
You are full of surprises.
219
00:08:40,639 --> 00:08:43,774
You are
my beautiful mystery girl,
220
00:08:43,776 --> 00:08:46,977
and today,
I have a surprise for you.
221
00:08:48,947 --> 00:08:50,814
He plays piano?
222
00:08:50,816 --> 00:08:52,049
No.
223
00:08:52,051 --> 00:08:53,717
Roy? No.
224
00:08:53,719 --> 00:08:56,086
You know how I said
I was taking boxing lessons?
225
00:08:56,088 --> 00:08:57,988
Actually, I was doing this,
226
00:08:57,990 --> 00:09:00,791
um, so, I hope
that you like it.
227
00:09:02,861 --> 00:09:05,162
You got this, Roy.
228
00:09:08,767 --> 00:09:14,371
♪ She's got a wa-a-ay
about her ♪
229
00:09:14,373 --> 00:09:17,040
♪ don't know what it is ♪
230
00:09:17,042 --> 00:09:21,645
♪ but I know that I can't live
without her ♪
231
00:09:21,647 --> 00:09:22,913
♪ she's got a way-- ♪
232
00:09:25,350 --> 00:09:27,351
We still surprise each other.
233
00:09:27,353 --> 00:09:30,487
Definitely.
234
00:09:30,489 --> 00:09:33,156
You know, I never did it,
but for your 30th birthday,
235
00:09:33,158 --> 00:09:34,991
I really wanted
to surprise you.
236
00:09:34,993 --> 00:09:36,960
Courtside seats.
Sixers.
237
00:09:36,962 --> 00:09:39,663
Yes, but what I didn't tell you
238
00:09:39,665 --> 00:09:41,298
is that I actually bought
the tickets.
239
00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:42,699
We only didn't go
because it was--
240
00:09:42,701 --> 00:09:43,633
It was an away game.
241
00:09:43,635 --> 00:09:45,168
In Phoenix.
242
00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:46,770
They should really tell you
that more specifically.
243
00:09:46,772 --> 00:09:48,472
I mean, every game
is an away game
244
00:09:48,474 --> 00:09:50,707
for one of the teams.
245
00:09:53,311 --> 00:09:55,145
Do we know everything
about each other?
246
00:09:55,147 --> 00:09:57,948
No.
247
00:09:57,950 --> 00:09:59,516
Tell me one thing
about you I don't know.
248
00:10:01,453 --> 00:10:05,188
Um, okay.
249
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:10,526
Oh, there's one.
250
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:11,893
Did I ever tell you
about the time
251
00:10:11,895 --> 00:10:14,295
that my brothers videotaped
the lottery announcement
252
00:10:14,297 --> 00:10:16,364
and bought the winning numbers
the next day,
253
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:18,499
and then, played the tape for me
the next week--
254
00:10:18,501 --> 00:10:19,734
And you thought
you guys were millionaires.
255
00:10:19,736 --> 00:10:21,202
You heard that one.
256
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,204
Yes, but there's-- Wait.
Oh!
257
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:25,073
There's a funny ending
to that story.
258
00:10:25,075 --> 00:10:26,741
I can't remember.
259
00:10:26,743 --> 00:10:27,876
That I thought
we were millionaires.
260
00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:28,810
That you thought
you were millionaires.
261
00:10:28,812 --> 00:10:30,111
- Yep.
- That's funny.
262
00:10:30,113 --> 00:10:31,679
- Shoot, I knew that one!
- That's all right.
263
00:10:31,681 --> 00:10:34,716
The senator and I
still have mystery.
264
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:35,917
I'm always waiting to see
265
00:10:35,919 --> 00:10:37,485
what he's gonna surprise me
with next.
266
00:10:46,162 --> 00:10:48,162
You all right?
267
00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:52,066
You support the Taliban abroad,
268
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:56,504
so I assume you're willing
to live by their rules here.
269
00:10:56,506 --> 00:10:58,406
Anything else
would be inconsistent.
270
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,108
Will you join me then
in a pledge
271
00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:03,845
to live by Taliban law
in this office?
272
00:11:07,082 --> 00:11:10,418
Absolutely, I will.
273
00:11:15,157 --> 00:11:17,292
I feared Nelly
had some sort of a plan,
274
00:11:17,294 --> 00:11:19,394
but she used a ridiculous font.
275
00:11:20,697 --> 00:11:22,530
You don't have a plan!
276
00:11:22,532 --> 00:11:24,766
When you use a ridiculous font,
277
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:26,768
no one thinks you have a plan.
278
00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:30,872
Looking for this?
279
00:11:30,874 --> 00:11:33,875
What the--
280
00:11:33,877 --> 00:11:35,910
Oh, this is a lovely pen,
281
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:39,314
and it's mine now,
because I stole it.
282
00:11:39,316 --> 00:11:41,883
- Gimme that.
- Didn't you sign a contract
283
00:11:41,885 --> 00:11:43,151
to live under Taliban law?
284
00:11:43,153 --> 00:11:45,086
And now, there's been a theft.
285
00:11:45,088 --> 00:11:47,188
That means you're not serious,
286
00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:50,858
or someone's getting
their hand cut off.
287
00:11:50,860 --> 00:11:52,794
- You're insane.
- I know,
288
00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,495
so it's better
that you pick another charity.
289
00:11:54,497 --> 00:11:57,265
Oh, and let your precious
"Operation Power Grab"
290
00:11:57,267 --> 00:11:58,566
proceed unchecked?
291
00:11:58,568 --> 00:11:59,634
No, thank you.
292
00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:04,105
In that case, you...
293
00:12:04,107 --> 00:12:07,942
will have to chop off my hand.
294
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:13,915
This cleaver
appears to need sharpening.
295
00:12:13,917 --> 00:12:16,084
I suggest you spend
some quality time together,
296
00:12:16,086 --> 00:12:18,720
just you and your hand,
tie a shoe, toss a salad.
297
00:12:18,722 --> 00:12:20,555
Do any of the two-hand
activities
298
00:12:20,557 --> 00:12:21,789
that you'll miss the most.
299
00:12:21,791 --> 00:12:25,059
I tell you what.
I need to make three calls.
300
00:12:25,061 --> 00:12:28,529
And then after that,
you can become a person
301
00:12:28,531 --> 00:12:30,965
who chops off people's hands.
302
00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:33,601
Sounds like a plan.
303
00:12:33,603 --> 00:12:36,070
Clark wants to film you
in different outfits
304
00:12:36,072 --> 00:12:38,439
- inside his apartment?
- Yeah.
305
00:12:38,441 --> 00:12:43,344
Clark, you and I
need to have a little chat.
306
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:49,083
What clothes does Erin need
for this news audition?
307
00:12:49,085 --> 00:12:52,320
Uh, a couple
of button-downs,
308
00:12:52,322 --> 00:12:55,556
a camisole, a blazer,
a pencil skirt,
309
00:12:55,558 --> 00:12:58,026
stilettos, maybe a--
no, no, not maybe,
310
00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,927
definitely open-toed.
311
00:12:59,929 --> 00:13:02,463
Uh, something low-cut,
because the camera
312
00:13:02,465 --> 00:13:03,664
makes everything
seem higher-cut.
313
00:13:03,666 --> 00:13:05,700
- Really?
- Yeah, industry secret.
314
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,735
You're gonna want
some of those pantyhose
315
00:13:07,737 --> 00:13:08,736
with the seam up the back.
316
00:13:08,738 --> 00:13:10,405
Seems unnecessary
for an audition.
317
00:13:10,407 --> 00:13:11,973
And then, you know,
maybe just a robe
318
00:13:11,975 --> 00:13:14,242
to wear in between takes,
but I probably got one
319
00:13:14,244 --> 00:13:15,676
that she could borrow
at my place, so--
320
00:13:15,678 --> 00:13:17,045
Thank God someone here knows
321
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:18,646
what they're talkin' about.
322
00:13:18,648 --> 00:13:19,981
I want you
to take this credit card.
323
00:13:19,983 --> 00:13:23,284
Take Erin to the mall,
and get that stuff.
324
00:13:23,286 --> 00:13:24,819
I absolutely will do that.
325
00:13:24,821 --> 00:13:26,654
Awesome.
326
00:13:26,656 --> 00:13:28,823
Plop.
327
00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:34,328
Guess I'll just head over
to the mall then,
328
00:13:34,330 --> 00:13:37,832
buy Erin
some sexy, fun outfits.
329
00:13:37,834 --> 00:13:39,500
That Clark, huh?
330
00:13:41,871 --> 00:13:43,671
Next question for our oldyweds.
331
00:13:43,673 --> 00:13:46,040
What is the craziest place
you ever made whoopee?
332
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,208
Language.
333
00:13:47,210 --> 00:13:48,676
Who was
Pam's first celebrity crush?
334
00:13:48,678 --> 00:13:52,880
- Oh, this is good, okay.
- Pam's first celebrity crush.
335
00:13:52,882 --> 00:13:54,215
John Stamos.
336
00:13:54,217 --> 00:13:55,583
- Ready?
- Uh-huh.
337
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,885
- John Stamos.
- Oh, yes!
338
00:13:57,887 --> 00:14:00,121
John Stamos was temporary.
I quickly moved on to Johnny--
339
00:14:00,123 --> 00:14:02,423
Johnny Depp.
340
00:14:06,829 --> 00:14:09,464
Uh, um, I was having
a separate conversation
341
00:14:09,466 --> 00:14:12,433
with Kevin?
342
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,402
Uh, Johnny Depp.
343
00:14:14,404 --> 00:14:16,437
Totally. George Clooney.
344
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:17,972
Mm-hmm.
345
00:14:17,974 --> 00:14:19,207
Okay, I'll have one.
I have one.
346
00:14:20,543 --> 00:14:23,277
Where is the craziest place
you ever made whoopee?
347
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,413
Kevin, stop it
with that question.
348
00:14:25,415 --> 00:14:27,682
Right?
349
00:14:27,684 --> 00:14:30,051
And did you show them
the market-- yeah.
350
00:14:30,053 --> 00:14:33,187
And what'd they say?
351
00:14:33,189 --> 00:14:35,089
That's awesome.
352
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:37,325
That-- aw, my God.
Wow.
353
00:14:37,327 --> 00:14:39,160
It's not even real yet,
354
00:14:39,162 --> 00:14:43,131
and I'm not gonna tell her
until it's real.
355
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:45,166
I think maybe
they're actually is something
356
00:14:45,168 --> 00:14:47,502
I don't know about Jim.
357
00:14:53,010 --> 00:14:54,777
Everyone, we have
a voluntary meeting
358
00:14:54,779 --> 00:14:58,014
in the conference room
to discuss Erin's confidence.
359
00:14:58,016 --> 00:14:59,782
Her body.
We're gonna talk about her body.
360
00:14:59,784 --> 00:15:00,884
Good. Great job.
361
00:15:00,886 --> 00:15:02,552
Andy made me his consigliere,
362
00:15:02,554 --> 00:15:04,454
which means
assistant regional manager.
363
00:15:04,456 --> 00:15:06,055
I guess he thought I'd be
into The Godfather
364
00:15:06,057 --> 00:15:09,225
because I'm black.
365
00:15:09,227 --> 00:15:10,994
Wrong!
366
00:15:10,996 --> 00:15:14,264
I'm into The Godfather
'cause I'm a cinephile.
367
00:15:14,266 --> 00:15:15,899
I like Scarface
'cause I'm black.
368
00:15:15,901 --> 00:15:19,636
Erin has an audition
to be a newscaster.
369
00:15:19,638 --> 00:15:21,137
- Wow!
- Woo!
370
00:15:21,139 --> 00:15:23,773
- Uh-huh.
- Congratulations!
371
00:15:23,775 --> 00:15:26,743
And I want her
to feel very comfortable
372
00:15:26,745 --> 00:15:28,444
in her very sexy skin,
373
00:15:28,446 --> 00:15:30,680
so everybody say
something that you like
374
00:15:30,682 --> 00:15:31,981
about her body, all right?
375
00:15:31,983 --> 00:15:33,950
- Darryl.
- Okay.
376
00:15:33,952 --> 00:15:37,687
Um, I like Erin's hair.
Those are very pretty colors.
377
00:15:37,689 --> 00:15:39,522
- Yeah, right?
- I'm sorry.
378
00:15:39,524 --> 00:15:41,824
- This is for a news audition?
- Yeah.
379
00:15:41,826 --> 00:15:44,327
Then why are we talking
about her looks?
380
00:15:44,329 --> 00:15:46,996
Why not her credibility
or her reliability?
381
00:15:46,998 --> 00:15:49,732
News flash, everyone--
the human race
382
00:15:49,734 --> 00:15:51,734
finds attractive people
more trustworthy.
383
00:15:51,736 --> 00:15:53,202
So sorry, Andy,
but for 20 years,
384
00:15:53,204 --> 00:15:55,939
the most trusted man in America...
Walter Cronkite.
385
00:15:55,941 --> 00:15:57,440
Cronkite was hot.
386
00:15:57,442 --> 00:15:59,709
If I could go back in time,
I'd take that moustache ride.
387
00:15:59,711 --> 00:16:01,411
Does Erin have any experience?
388
00:16:01,413 --> 00:16:03,813
Has she taken
any journalism classes, maybe?
389
00:16:03,815 --> 00:16:05,648
Has she done
the pageant circuit?
390
00:16:05,650 --> 00:16:08,151
- No, I watch the news--
- She's gonna be amazing.
391
00:16:08,153 --> 00:16:09,852
Look at her.
She's gonna light up the screen.
392
00:16:09,854 --> 00:16:11,220
This is a first for me,
393
00:16:11,222 --> 00:16:12,822
and I don't get a lot
of chances,
394
00:16:12,824 --> 00:16:15,558
so I have to take them
really seriously.
395
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:18,361
I will do whatever it takes
to get the job.
396
00:16:18,363 --> 00:16:20,997
- Whatever it takes.
- Yeah, I know, I heard.
397
00:16:25,803 --> 00:16:28,237
This is it.
398
00:16:28,239 --> 00:16:30,206
- Any questions?
- Is it gonna be numb?
399
00:16:30,208 --> 00:16:32,909
No, it's gonna be
over before you know it.
400
00:16:32,911 --> 00:16:36,646
Mm-hmm.
401
00:16:36,648 --> 00:16:40,249
Afghan president Hamid Karzai
declared a new policy
402
00:16:40,251 --> 00:16:41,985
of dollar days
throughout the country,
403
00:16:41,987 --> 00:16:44,220
promising low, low prices
404
00:16:44,222 --> 00:16:48,091
on all 2012 Kia Sentras
and Sonatas.
405
00:16:48,093 --> 00:16:50,393
"Aren't you glad you waited?"
Karzai commented.
406
00:16:50,395 --> 00:16:53,830
Um, where did you get
that story?
407
00:16:53,832 --> 00:16:55,865
A little bit here,
a little bit there.
408
00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:58,234
I bet you didn't think
I knew current events.
409
00:16:58,236 --> 00:16:59,669
I love it.
410
00:16:59,671 --> 00:17:03,406
It's fantastic.
Now, tag it with your name.
411
00:17:03,408 --> 00:17:05,174
For Channel 11 News,
I'm Erin Hannon.
412
00:17:05,176 --> 00:17:08,044
Pause after news.
413
00:17:08,046 --> 00:17:09,879
For Channel 11 News,
414
00:17:09,881 --> 00:17:12,048
- I'm Erin Hannon.
- No, pause longer.
415
00:17:12,050 --> 00:17:14,951
- That was a good one.
- Pause-- pause-- pause longer.
416
00:17:14,953 --> 00:17:17,053
Okay, build suspense.
Don't be shy.
417
00:17:17,055 --> 00:17:19,822
Got it.
418
00:17:19,824 --> 00:17:23,826
For Channel 11 News...
419
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:31,801
What, it's--
420
00:17:31,803 --> 00:17:32,802
- I'm Erin Hannon.
421
00:17:32,804 --> 00:17:33,936
Okay, all right.
422
00:17:33,938 --> 00:17:35,705
Great.
423
00:17:35,707 --> 00:17:37,373
Some great stuff in there.
424
00:17:37,375 --> 00:17:40,109
I can feel you looking at me.
425
00:17:40,111 --> 00:17:44,947
Okay, well here's something
you don't know.
426
00:17:44,949 --> 00:17:47,083
- A couple of weeks ago...
- Mm-hmm.
427
00:17:47,085 --> 00:17:49,252
I ran into this guy
from my high school
428
00:17:49,254 --> 00:17:51,721
who has just gotten divorced,
429
00:17:51,723 --> 00:17:53,623
and he hit on me in the mall.
430
00:17:53,625 --> 00:17:56,526
And I didn't tell you
because-- I don't know,
431
00:17:56,528 --> 00:17:58,561
I felt embarrassed,
and I didn't know
432
00:17:58,563 --> 00:18:00,396
if you'd be mad or worried,
433
00:18:00,398 --> 00:18:04,500
but anyway,
I thought you'd wanna know.
434
00:18:04,502 --> 00:18:06,569
That didn't happen.
435
00:18:06,571 --> 00:18:07,970
You would've told me
right away.
436
00:18:07,972 --> 00:18:09,839
Yeah, I would've.
437
00:18:09,841 --> 00:18:11,240
What about you?
438
00:18:11,242 --> 00:18:13,776
Come on, there's
gotta be something.
439
00:18:13,778 --> 00:18:16,245
Between your birth
and the last two days,
440
00:18:16,247 --> 00:18:18,247
something you just haven't had
the chance to tell me.
441
00:18:18,249 --> 00:18:22,385
Uh...
442
00:18:22,387 --> 00:18:26,489
Just tell me.
443
00:18:26,491 --> 00:18:28,958
God, give it up, Beesly.
You know me too well.
444
00:18:47,579 --> 00:18:48,711
- Hey.
- Hmm.
445
00:18:48,713 --> 00:18:51,547
Um, I knew
something bothered me,
446
00:18:51,549 --> 00:18:53,082
and I finally figured it out.
447
00:18:53,084 --> 00:18:54,383
What news producers
are gonna wanna see
448
00:18:54,385 --> 00:18:55,985
is how Erin relates
to the other people
449
00:18:55,987 --> 00:18:57,587
- on the news team.
- Oh.
450
00:18:57,589 --> 00:19:00,756
The weird thing is Erin
is doing the audition alone.
451
00:19:00,758 --> 00:19:02,024
Oh, God.
452
00:19:02,026 --> 00:19:04,894
Now, I'd say Clark
could be your co-host.
453
00:19:04,896 --> 00:19:06,562
He's already doing camera.
454
00:19:06,564 --> 00:19:09,899
Somebody who's already
got rapport with Erin, maybe.
455
00:19:09,901 --> 00:19:11,067
I don't know.
456
00:19:13,204 --> 00:19:15,438
Hey, this is
for real this time.
457
00:19:16,875 --> 00:19:18,241
It's gettin' late.
458
00:19:18,243 --> 00:19:22,778
Thought you guys
could use a little inspiration.
459
00:19:22,780 --> 00:19:24,914
Oh, a movie.
460
00:19:24,916 --> 00:19:26,983
- What is this?
- 127 Hours.
461
00:19:26,985 --> 00:19:28,317
- It's about this guy who--
- No, no, no, no,
462
00:19:28,319 --> 00:19:30,153
- no spoilers. Please.
- My bad, my bad--
463
00:19:30,155 --> 00:19:32,555
- No--
- You're right, okay.
464
00:19:32,557 --> 00:19:34,023
Good night.
465
00:19:37,194 --> 00:19:39,262
- Hey!
- Hey.
466
00:19:39,264 --> 00:19:42,298
- Everybody.
- Yeah.
467
00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:43,399
- Come in.
- All right.
468
00:19:43,401 --> 00:19:44,534
- Come on in.
- Wow!
469
00:19:44,536 --> 00:19:47,069
Thanks.
What are you doing here?
470
00:19:47,071 --> 00:19:48,738
Sorry, man.
471
00:19:48,740 --> 00:19:51,073
Andy thought Erin
need a co-anchor.
472
00:19:51,075 --> 00:19:53,709
I'm his makeup guy.
My hands are tied.
473
00:19:53,711 --> 00:19:55,745
The victim was released
474
00:19:55,747 --> 00:19:58,548
from the hospital
with second-degree burns.
475
00:19:58,550 --> 00:20:00,783
Oh, wow.
You know what they say, Erin?
476
00:20:00,785 --> 00:20:02,218
If you can't take the heat,
477
00:20:02,220 --> 00:20:05,354
get out of the kitchen.
478
00:20:05,356 --> 00:20:07,223
Well, he tried to,
but the fire door was blocked.
479
00:20:07,225 --> 00:20:09,325
- He sure did.
- All right.
480
00:20:09,327 --> 00:20:10,760
We got that.
That's a rap everybody.
481
00:20:10,762 --> 00:20:12,128
It's just-- you sure, Clark?
482
00:20:12,130 --> 00:20:13,529
Yep, she's done.
483
00:20:13,531 --> 00:20:15,298
No, I just--
I don't mean Erin.
484
00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:18,868
I mean for me.
I didn't feel good about that.
485
00:20:18,870 --> 00:20:20,369
Oh, no, we got it.
We got it.
486
00:20:20,371 --> 00:20:22,939
Great! Let's get some food.
I'm starving.
487
00:20:22,941 --> 00:20:24,540
I don't think we did get it.
488
00:20:24,542 --> 00:20:28,110
I could do a couple more takes.
We could do it in close-up.
489
00:20:28,112 --> 00:20:31,147
That might even be better
for editing.
490
00:20:31,149 --> 00:20:32,782
Okay, I don't.
491
00:20:32,784 --> 00:20:34,483
All right.
492
00:20:34,485 --> 00:20:36,185
I'm hungry.
493
00:20:36,187 --> 00:20:39,755
Uh, Pete, you wanna take Erin
to get a burger or something?
494
00:20:39,757 --> 00:20:41,857
- Yeah, whatever you say, boss.
- Okay.
495
00:20:41,859 --> 00:20:42,959
- I'll call you later.
- Okay.
496
00:20:42,961 --> 00:20:44,060
- Okay.
- Great job.
497
00:20:44,062 --> 00:20:46,662
So this is a single.
498
00:20:46,664 --> 00:20:48,297
Hey, even this doesn't
work out for me,
499
00:20:48,299 --> 00:20:50,499
I'm just glad I had
the guts to do it,
500
00:20:50,501 --> 00:20:53,502
and maybe it'll work out
for Andy.
501
00:21:01,447 --> 00:21:03,014
Oh, that is
absolutely revolting!
502
00:21:03,016 --> 00:21:05,717
- Yeah.
- He is so good, though...
503
00:21:05,719 --> 00:21:06,785
Yes.
504
00:21:06,787 --> 00:21:08,653
The way he just
cuts off his arm.
505
00:21:08,655 --> 00:21:10,355
If you like James Franco,
we really should watch
506
00:21:10,357 --> 00:21:11,856
Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes.
507
00:21:11,858 --> 00:21:13,892
Well, he's a genius, you know?
508
00:21:13,894 --> 00:21:16,928
He was in graduate programs
at Yale, Columbia and NYU
509
00:21:16,930 --> 00:21:18,463
- all at the same time.
- Whoop-de-doo.
510
00:21:18,465 --> 00:21:19,831
That doesn't make you a genius.
511
00:21:19,833 --> 00:21:21,299
Well, it doesn't
make you stupid.
512
00:21:21,301 --> 00:21:22,934
Oh, yeah, it does.
Actually, it makes you
513
00:21:22,936 --> 00:21:24,769
- real stupid.
- Oh, stupid like you.
514
00:21:24,771 --> 00:21:26,171
- No, like you.
- Like you.
515
00:21:26,173 --> 00:21:28,640
- You're the stupid one.
- You're the stupid one.
516
00:21:28,642 --> 00:21:31,500
- You, you, you, you, you--
- You're the stupid one.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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