1 00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:01,400 To me, the Sixers are a five seat tops. 2 00:00:03,527 --> 00:00:05,962 I think they're going to the Conference finals. 3 00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:08,364 - No. - Bynum, an obvious monster. 4 00:00:08,366 --> 00:00:10,750 At three-point shooting, don't even-- 5 00:00:10,752 --> 00:00:14,587 I bit my lip at lunch today. 6 00:00:14,589 --> 00:00:17,590 Sucks. Anyway, I just don't see it. 7 00:00:17,592 --> 00:00:18,892 The Knicks are tough. 8 00:00:18,894 --> 00:00:21,961 - The Nets are tough. - Oh, the Nets are super tough. 9 00:00:21,963 --> 00:00:26,048 Now I have this big bump on my lip that hurts. 10 00:00:26,050 --> 00:00:28,318 I hate it. 11 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,788 The Hawks are terrible. They're always terrible. 12 00:00:31,790 --> 00:00:33,740 Okay, you need to think about it 13 00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:37,076 before you come with the-- 14 00:00:38,212 --> 00:00:40,880 Whatever. It's not a big deal. 15 00:00:40,882 --> 00:00:42,248 You know, I always tell my three-year-old, 16 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,000 if this is the worst thing that's gonna happen-- 17 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,868 You gotta be kidding me! 18 00:00:45,870 --> 00:00:51,658 Okay. Pam, that's it. I'm going home. 19 00:00:58,752 --> 00:01:01,056 20 00:01:02,403 --> 00:01:05,021 Morning, Meredith. 21 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:06,072 What? 22 00:01:06,074 --> 00:01:08,191 Oh, sorry. Pam. 23 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:09,943 Yikes. 24 00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:13,663 Jim's been spending a few days a week in Philly, 25 00:01:13,665 --> 00:01:16,916 and I'm not gonna lie-- it's been challenging. 26 00:01:19,570 --> 00:01:21,588 Yesterday, things took a turn for the worse. 27 00:01:21,590 --> 00:01:25,408 I found out Cece has lice, so I was up all night, 28 00:01:25,410 --> 00:01:29,245 disinfecting every sheet, towel, toy, 29 00:01:29,247 --> 00:01:31,798 item of clothing in the entire house. 30 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:35,768 I'm exhausted. But don't tell Jim. 31 00:01:35,770 --> 00:01:40,089 He has a huge meeting today, under a lot of pressure, 32 00:01:40,091 --> 00:01:43,776 and he's doing it all for the family. 33 00:01:43,778 --> 00:01:46,029 I am meeting Dr. J today, 34 00:01:46,031 --> 00:01:47,647 otherwise known as Julius Erving, 35 00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:50,867 famed 76er and my own personal hero. 36 00:01:50,869 --> 00:01:52,952 But I have to be careful not to rub it in Pam's face 37 00:01:52,954 --> 00:01:56,039 because, let's be honest, how would I feel 38 00:01:56,041 --> 00:01:57,690 if I was at home, stuck with the kids 39 00:01:57,692 --> 00:02:01,878 while she was go-karting with John Stamos? 40 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:03,946 You sound tired. Everything okay? 41 00:02:03,948 --> 00:02:05,915 Great. Everything's great. 42 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:08,051 Hey, are you nervous about your big meeting? 43 00:02:08,053 --> 00:02:09,619 Uh, a little bit. 44 00:02:09,621 --> 00:02:11,471 It's a lot of pressure, you know? 45 00:02:11,473 --> 00:02:13,172 But that's what I signed up for, right? 46 00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:16,809 - Jim, the limo's here. - Uh, you know what? 47 00:02:16,811 --> 00:02:18,645 I gotta hop off because my, uh, 48 00:02:18,647 --> 00:02:21,297 taxi is here to take me to the meeting. 49 00:02:21,299 --> 00:02:22,798 - Oh, call me later. - Okay. 50 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:23,816 - Good luck. - Thanks. 51 00:02:23,818 --> 00:02:25,985 - I love you. - Love you too. Bye. 52 00:02:27,656 --> 00:02:28,972 How are you doing? 53 00:02:28,974 --> 00:02:31,157 Okay. I mean, it's what you want, so-- 54 00:02:31,159 --> 00:02:34,744 - It's how it has to be. - I know, I know. 55 00:02:34,746 --> 00:02:36,746 It's just hard. 56 00:02:36,748 --> 00:02:38,331 Me and Val were going nowhere, 57 00:02:38,333 --> 00:02:40,283 and if I'm gonna be working in Philly, 58 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,618 I'm gonna need my freedom, 59 00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,986 so I convinced Val to break up with me. 60 00:02:43,988 --> 00:02:45,588 Here's how you do it. 61 00:02:45,590 --> 00:02:47,840 You say, "What are you gonna do, break up with me?" 62 00:02:47,842 --> 00:02:49,342 Like, as a joke. 63 00:02:49,344 --> 00:02:51,494 And then you gain a lot of weight. 64 00:02:51,496 --> 00:02:53,796 I'll never be sorry, not for a moment of it. 65 00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:56,499 Me neither. Come here. 66 00:02:59,002 --> 00:03:01,638 Hey, Meredith, I need your supply requests today. 67 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:02,838 Jeez H in the morning, 68 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,524 will you stop your nagging already? 69 00:03:04,526 --> 00:03:05,775 No wonder Jim left you. 70 00:03:05,777 --> 00:03:10,179 He didn't leave me. He just went part-time. 71 00:03:12,199 --> 00:03:13,566 Can you just fill out the form, please? 72 00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:16,953 Yes. 73 00:03:16,955 --> 00:03:19,072 I'm sure she's just confused. 74 00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:22,909 People scratch their heads when they're confused. 75 00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:25,194 Not always like an ape, the way Meredith just did, 76 00:03:25,196 --> 00:03:27,213 but it happens. 77 00:03:27,215 --> 00:03:28,364 Hurry up already. 78 00:03:28,366 --> 00:03:29,916 Trust me, I know what I'm doing. 79 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,718 Between the foster homes and the orphanage, 80 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,203 I had lice 22 times. 81 00:03:34,205 --> 00:03:36,205 Holy wow, that's a big one. 82 00:03:36,207 --> 00:03:38,541 All right, pencils down, everyone-- we've got lice. 83 00:03:39,877 --> 00:03:41,644 Oh, God, Meredith! Lice? 84 00:03:41,646 --> 00:03:43,846 Did you not sign a pledge to shower? 85 00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:48,017 What? Lice? Oh, my God. 86 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:51,154 Lock the doors. We're on full quarantine. 87 00:03:51,156 --> 00:03:53,055 Dwight, relax. It's just lice. 88 00:03:53,057 --> 00:03:54,490 Maybe, possibly. 89 00:03:54,492 --> 00:03:57,360 Just lice, Pam? 90 00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,779 Of all of the vermin in God's great green kingdom, 91 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:02,065 lice are the ones I detest the most. 92 00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:04,417 My first day of school, I had lice, 93 00:04:04,419 --> 00:04:06,052 and no one would play with me. 94 00:04:06,054 --> 00:04:09,071 For 15 years, they called me "freak" 95 00:04:09,073 --> 00:04:11,958 and "four eyes" and "sci-fi nerd" and "girl puncher," 96 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:15,094 all because I had lice when I was seven. 97 00:04:15,096 --> 00:04:16,095 - Make way. - Dwight! 98 00:04:16,097 --> 00:04:19,098 No. Inspect me. 99 00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:22,168 Oh, this is the cleanest scalp I've ever seen. 100 00:04:22,170 --> 00:04:23,636 - You are all clear. - I should be. 101 00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:25,471 I use lice shampoo every morning. 102 00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:27,473 - Hey! - Oh! 103 00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:29,192 - Stop that! - Dwight! 104 00:04:29,194 --> 00:04:31,394 Next. 105 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,262 Jeez, Meredith, you know, this is an office. 106 00:04:33,264 --> 00:04:35,264 It's not one of your bean-bag orgies. 107 00:04:35,266 --> 00:04:37,116 Uh, let's give her a break. 108 00:04:37,118 --> 00:04:39,702 We don't know for sure this is Meredith's fault. 109 00:04:39,704 --> 00:04:42,538 Pam, really? Come on. 110 00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:44,774 Hey, what do you want? I know who I am. 111 00:04:44,776 --> 00:04:47,744 Nobody's taking Meredith Palmer to the opera to meet the queen. 112 00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:48,745 Lice. 113 00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:49,796 More lice. 114 00:04:49,798 --> 00:04:52,948 - Angela has lice. - Ew! Oh! 115 00:04:52,950 --> 00:04:56,452 Ooh, yabber. Lice. Yikers. Lice. 116 00:04:56,454 --> 00:05:00,623 No. How? I am so clean. 117 00:05:00,625 --> 00:05:02,308 - Oh, yeah. Big-time lice. - Aah! 118 00:05:02,310 --> 00:05:04,560 I wash my hands at least six times a day. 119 00:05:04,562 --> 00:05:05,812 Toilet seat covers? 120 00:05:05,814 --> 00:05:07,513 Yes, thank you, even when I pee. 121 00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:09,515 Apparently, none of that is protection enough, 122 00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:11,651 not when it comes to Meredith. 123 00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:15,655 - Ooh. - Oh. 124 00:05:15,657 --> 00:05:17,940 Hey, what are you wearing? 125 00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:19,642 It's a hazmat suit. 126 00:05:19,644 --> 00:05:23,813 That stands for hazardous materials men's suit wearing. 127 00:05:23,815 --> 00:05:25,281 If you rent more than four times a year, 128 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,916 it just makes sense to buy. 129 00:05:26,918 --> 00:05:31,838 Is there anyone else here that is lice-free? 130 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:34,290 Excellent. You have your own hazmat suits? 131 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,209 - No. - No. 132 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:37,760 Ugh. Renters. 133 00:05:37,762 --> 00:05:39,662 Okay, I'm gonna need you to gather your belongings, 134 00:05:39,664 --> 00:05:41,264 retreat to the warehouse. 135 00:05:41,266 --> 00:05:43,516 Conduct your business there 136 00:05:43,518 --> 00:05:45,635 until the infected have been de-loused. 137 00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:46,669 Let's get going. 138 00:05:46,671 --> 00:05:48,104 I'm gonna stay here and fight. 139 00:05:48,106 --> 00:05:50,306 If you don't hear from me by lunch, call me. 140 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:51,808 I might want lunch. 141 00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:54,360 All right. We're going down to my warehouse. 142 00:05:54,362 --> 00:05:56,446 That means we're playing by my rules. 143 00:05:56,448 --> 00:05:57,730 No messing with the baler, 144 00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,365 and be cool in front of me and Val. 145 00:05:59,367 --> 00:06:01,150 We just broke up. 146 00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,685 You got dumped? 147 00:06:02,687 --> 00:06:05,204 - Yeah, she ended things. - Break-ups are the worst. 148 00:06:05,206 --> 00:06:06,789 The only thing that got me through mine 149 00:06:06,791 --> 00:06:08,691 was large amounts of Shepherd's pie and Brandy. 150 00:06:08,693 --> 00:06:10,626 The singer, not the drink. 151 00:06:10,628 --> 00:06:13,028 Here, man. 152 00:06:13,030 --> 00:06:15,414 You need them more than me. 153 00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:18,801 - Thanks, man. - Yeah. 154 00:06:20,721 --> 00:06:23,339 Guys, I think we should all ease up on Meredith. 155 00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,341 This has got to be hard for her. 156 00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:26,342 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 157 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,094 I have not yet begun to shame. 158 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,545 That's it. I'm getting my stuff. 159 00:06:29,547 --> 00:06:30,563 I'm leaving for the day. 160 00:06:30,565 --> 00:06:32,882 No, Stanley, if you leave now, 161 00:06:32,884 --> 00:06:34,049 then you'll get it in your car, 162 00:06:34,051 --> 00:06:35,067 and then you'll get it in your house! 163 00:06:35,069 --> 00:06:36,185 Get off me. 164 00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:38,020 I'm trying to save you from yourself! 165 00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:40,439 All right, I'll stay! 166 00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:43,409 There's a pencil poking in my rolls. 167 00:06:43,411 --> 00:06:45,745 Maybe it was Meredith. 168 00:06:45,747 --> 00:06:48,063 Maybe she brought in lice that are totally different 169 00:06:48,065 --> 00:06:50,666 than the lice that I got from Cece. 170 00:06:50,668 --> 00:06:52,835 So let's not jump to the simplest conclusion 171 00:06:52,837 --> 00:06:54,871 that she got her lice from me. 172 00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:59,842 That is how wars get started. 173 00:06:59,844 --> 00:07:03,629 Fine, I'll tell her it was me. 174 00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:05,965 Oh, man. That's fresh-squeezed. 175 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:08,751 And are all the snacks complimentary? 176 00:07:08,753 --> 00:07:10,720 Yeah, take some home if you want. 177 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:13,856 Oh, no, no, no. That's okay. I... 178 00:07:19,646 --> 00:07:23,816 Um, I'm sorry. Is this the conference center? 179 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,434 No. Mr. Erving called. 180 00:07:25,436 --> 00:07:28,738 Said he's rather meet you at his private court. 181 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:33,159 You gotta be kidding me. 182 00:07:34,462 --> 00:07:35,461 Hey, Meredith, I need to tell you something. 183 00:07:35,463 --> 00:07:36,746 Yeah, Pam? What do you want? 184 00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,447 Oh, my God. Meredith, what are you doing? 185 00:07:38,449 --> 00:07:40,282 Bakin' a cake. What does it look like I'm doing? 186 00:07:40,284 --> 00:07:42,418 - Getting rid of the lice. - Oh, stop! I'm so sorry! 187 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,070 Oh, can you hold that thought? 188 00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:45,504 That's my wax. 189 00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:49,375 You know, I think these critters migrated from down south. 190 00:07:49,377 --> 00:07:50,927 What were you saying? 191 00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,845 Nothing. 192 00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:54,347 I'm going to tell her, 193 00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:56,966 but now is clearly not the time. 194 00:07:56,968 --> 00:08:00,636 I will buy her a wig, we'll have a few laughs. 195 00:08:00,638 --> 00:08:03,472 There's a right way to do this. 196 00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:08,425 ♪, ♪, 197 00:08:08,427 --> 00:08:11,211 follicle gypsies, hair lawyers. 198 00:08:11,213 --> 00:08:13,847 One thing is clear-- it's kill or be killed! 199 00:08:13,849 --> 00:08:15,849 No, no, no. It's more of a nuisance, really. 200 00:08:15,851 --> 00:08:17,567 It's not that big a deal. 201 00:08:17,569 --> 00:08:19,653 So I've collected your hats and your coats... 202 00:08:19,655 --> 00:08:21,638 - To be burned! - ...to be washed. 203 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,139 What do we do about our heads? 204 00:08:23,141 --> 00:08:25,659 I'm not gonna lie. Lye! 205 00:08:25,661 --> 00:08:28,328 No. All we need is mayonnaise. 206 00:08:28,330 --> 00:08:30,831 - Excuse me? - She's right. It works. 207 00:08:30,833 --> 00:08:32,332 I would imagine. 208 00:08:32,334 --> 00:08:35,152 Yes. It helps to suffocate the little buddies, 209 00:08:35,154 --> 00:08:36,870 and it's a really healthy alternative 210 00:08:36,872 --> 00:08:39,456 to the chemicals found in most lice shampoos. 211 00:08:39,458 --> 00:08:40,957 I can appreciate that. 212 00:08:40,959 --> 00:08:45,712 I also only eat local organic produce. 213 00:08:45,714 --> 00:08:48,331 Sha-boom! How do you like me now? 214 00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:50,183 - Oh! - Wow! 215 00:08:50,185 --> 00:08:52,001 Take a picture. It'll last longer. 216 00:08:52,003 --> 00:08:53,937 We don't want it to last longer. It's horrible. 217 00:08:53,939 --> 00:08:56,139 - Bald people make me sick. - Yeah, yeah. 218 00:08:56,141 --> 00:08:58,141 Everybody pile on Meredith. 219 00:08:58,143 --> 00:08:59,509 But I'm the only one with the balls 220 00:08:59,511 --> 00:09:03,346 to show them lice who's boss. 221 00:09:03,348 --> 00:09:04,448 Okay, nobody panic. 222 00:09:04,450 --> 00:09:06,817 If everybody just follows my instructions, 223 00:09:06,819 --> 00:09:08,435 then nobody else needs to end up bald. 224 00:09:08,437 --> 00:09:10,687 Not that it looks bad, Meredith. 225 00:09:10,689 --> 00:09:13,156 It looks-- it looks awesome. 226 00:09:13,158 --> 00:09:15,876 You look like a baby who suddenly aged 50 years. 227 00:09:15,878 --> 00:09:19,129 A cute baby, but something sucked the life force out of it. 228 00:09:19,131 --> 00:09:20,997 I'm so sorry. We need mayonnaise. 229 00:09:20,999 --> 00:09:23,333 - We need it now. - Oh, uh, uh, I'll go. 230 00:09:23,335 --> 00:09:24,534 - Okay. - Oh, thank you. 231 00:09:24,536 --> 00:09:25,719 You're a saint, Pam. 232 00:09:25,721 --> 00:09:27,003 No, it's not a big deal, please, no. 233 00:09:27,005 --> 00:09:28,388 Uh, Meredith, could I get you something special 234 00:09:28,390 --> 00:09:29,506 while I'm at the store? 235 00:09:29,508 --> 00:09:32,225 Candy or-- or one of those stylish turbans? 236 00:09:32,227 --> 00:09:33,510 Thanks, Pam. 237 00:09:33,512 --> 00:09:35,011 I'll take a pack of Nicorette gum 238 00:09:35,013 --> 00:09:36,012 and a pack of Kools. 239 00:09:36,014 --> 00:09:38,765 Okay. 240 00:09:40,818 --> 00:09:43,270 Let's talk pubes, people. 241 00:09:43,272 --> 00:09:47,858 - Hey, Darryl. - Oh, hey, Val. 242 00:09:50,728 --> 00:09:53,613 Darryl. Oh, that was tragic. 243 00:09:53,615 --> 00:09:56,750 Oh, that was like a car crash. I couldn't look away. 244 00:09:56,752 --> 00:09:59,703 You two still clearly have feelings for each other. 245 00:09:59,705 --> 00:10:01,121 Yeah. 246 00:10:01,123 --> 00:10:02,739 What's gonna make you feel better, big guy? 247 00:10:02,741 --> 00:10:04,257 When I was a kid, 248 00:10:04,259 --> 00:10:05,876 my grandmother used to make me chocolate cake 249 00:10:05,878 --> 00:10:07,911 when I wasn't feeling good. 250 00:10:07,913 --> 00:10:09,913 She's not around to do that anymore. 251 00:10:09,915 --> 00:10:11,214 I'm sorry. 252 00:10:11,216 --> 00:10:16,085 I just need a moment to myself, just to clear my head. 253 00:10:16,087 --> 00:10:17,270 Oh, poor Darryl. 254 00:10:17,272 --> 00:10:19,222 I can't bear to see him suffer like this. 255 00:10:19,224 --> 00:10:22,225 I think he needs some hugs 256 00:10:22,227 --> 00:10:24,945 and maybe some chocolate cake. 257 00:10:24,947 --> 00:10:28,598 Mmm. This won't help him. It's a muffin, not cake. 258 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:29,766 Listen, let's try and get Darryl 259 00:10:29,768 --> 00:10:31,117 the one thing in the world 260 00:10:31,119 --> 00:10:33,703 he clearly wants and needs the most. 261 00:10:33,705 --> 00:10:37,607 - An Escalade. - Or what's her name. 262 00:10:37,609 --> 00:10:39,292 Val. 263 00:10:39,294 --> 00:10:42,212 Let's get Darryl Val. 264 00:10:42,214 --> 00:10:44,331 I hope you don't mind me bringing you out here. 265 00:10:44,333 --> 00:10:45,882 I can't get my knees under a desk. 266 00:10:45,884 --> 00:10:47,083 Are you kidding me? 267 00:10:47,085 --> 00:10:48,885 I could literally scalp tickets to this. 268 00:10:48,887 --> 00:10:50,837 Well, you think you could sink one from deep? 269 00:10:50,839 --> 00:10:53,623 Listen, I don't mean to intimidate you, 270 00:10:53,625 --> 00:10:55,308 but I did play a little high school ball. 271 00:10:55,310 --> 00:10:59,262 Okay. 272 00:10:59,264 --> 00:11:02,849 Wow. Halpert's got game. All right. 273 00:11:02,851 --> 00:11:05,735 Oh, sorry. I'm so sorry. 274 00:11:05,737 --> 00:11:07,771 This is my wife. Can I take this? 275 00:11:07,773 --> 00:11:09,739 If it's your wife, you better take it. 276 00:11:09,741 --> 00:11:12,642 Right? 277 00:11:12,644 --> 00:11:15,245 Hey, what's up? Everything okay? 278 00:11:15,247 --> 00:11:16,913 Oh, no. Everything's great. 279 00:11:16,915 --> 00:11:19,833 Um, I was just calling to see, uh, how the meeting went. 280 00:11:19,835 --> 00:11:22,151 Oh, it's still happening right now, actually, so-- 281 00:11:22,153 --> 00:11:24,320 He's, uh, really making you work for it, huh? 282 00:11:24,322 --> 00:11:28,174 Yes, it is very stressful. Are you sure everything's okay? 283 00:11:28,176 --> 00:11:30,877 Great. I am killing it over here. 284 00:11:33,465 --> 00:11:35,715 - Jim, I gotta go. - Okay, bye. 285 00:11:35,717 --> 00:11:38,268 - So sorry about that. - Oh, no problem. 286 00:11:38,270 --> 00:11:39,886 Hey, Jim, what size do you wear, man? 287 00:11:39,888 --> 00:11:42,606 I got a pair of Japanese Nikes with your name on 'em. 288 00:11:42,608 --> 00:11:45,942 - What do you think? - I love it. 289 00:11:45,944 --> 00:11:47,227 Once it's all over your head, 290 00:11:47,229 --> 00:11:48,562 just leave it there for four hours. 291 00:11:48,564 --> 00:11:51,531 That will be enough time for the lice to fall asleep, 292 00:11:51,533 --> 00:11:53,733 suffocate, and then pass away. 293 00:11:53,735 --> 00:11:55,452 Oh, sure. 294 00:11:55,454 --> 00:11:57,571 And when you're ready to get serious, 295 00:11:57,573 --> 00:12:01,190 come to me to get it done right. 296 00:12:01,192 --> 00:12:04,961 Put those away before you hurt yourself. 297 00:12:05,964 --> 00:12:08,832 Oh, God. Oh, no. 298 00:12:08,834 --> 00:12:12,836 No. No! 299 00:12:12,838 --> 00:12:16,172 No! No! No! 300 00:12:16,174 --> 00:12:19,542 No! No! 301 00:12:19,544 --> 00:12:21,428 Okay, it's easier with a buddy, 302 00:12:21,430 --> 00:12:22,929 so everybody pair up. 303 00:12:22,931 --> 00:12:25,432 Oscar, you want to be my partner? 304 00:12:25,434 --> 00:12:28,685 Yeah. Yeah, sure. I'd love to. 305 00:12:28,687 --> 00:12:31,237 Hey, uh, mayo buddy, $5 tip, 306 00:12:31,239 --> 00:12:33,657 you unclog my ears, okay? 307 00:12:33,659 --> 00:12:35,742 Oh, Creed, I'm so sorry. 308 00:12:35,744 --> 00:12:38,161 I'm-- I'm already partners with Pete. Right, Pete? 309 00:12:38,163 --> 00:12:39,579 Uh, yeah. 310 00:12:39,581 --> 00:12:41,731 We promised each other if we ever got lice, 311 00:12:41,733 --> 00:12:45,168 we'd buddy up, so, sorry, man. 312 00:12:45,170 --> 00:12:49,405 Hey, Creed. Want to be my buddy? 313 00:12:49,407 --> 00:12:52,208 Oh, God. Stuck with the weirdo. 314 00:12:58,083 --> 00:12:59,132 Angela. 315 00:12:59,134 --> 00:13:01,518 You don't want bugs, you know? 316 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:05,388 Who knows where those bugs will end up. 317 00:13:05,390 --> 00:13:07,924 You're getting a bargain. I ain't got no hair no more. 318 00:13:10,428 --> 00:13:15,098 Creed, I'm all done. My turn. 319 00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:18,267 I'm sorry, Pam. It looks a little messy. 320 00:13:18,269 --> 00:13:20,370 Well, wait. 321 00:13:23,574 --> 00:13:26,376 - How's that? - I feel it working. 322 00:13:28,446 --> 00:13:30,380 Ksk, ksk, ksk, ksk, ksk. 323 00:13:30,382 --> 00:13:32,716 - Eiffel tower. - Oh! 324 00:13:32,718 --> 00:13:34,884 Now. 325 00:13:34,886 --> 00:13:35,669 Can I help you? 326 00:13:37,222 --> 00:13:38,555 - Well-- - Um-- 327 00:13:38,557 --> 00:13:39,889 We don't want to pry, 328 00:13:39,891 --> 00:13:41,758 but we heard you broke up with Darryl. 329 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:42,976 Yeah, that's true. 330 00:13:42,978 --> 00:13:44,811 We think you made a big, big mistake. 331 00:13:44,813 --> 00:13:47,030 - Big mistake. - Quite enormous. 332 00:13:47,032 --> 00:13:50,533 He's a real catch, and you should take him back. 333 00:13:50,535 --> 00:13:53,486 Okay. Thank you. Is that all? 334 00:13:53,488 --> 00:13:55,605 No. No, that is not all. 335 00:13:55,607 --> 00:13:57,907 Let me tell you what real life is like. 336 00:13:57,909 --> 00:14:00,210 The men dry up, and the nights get lonely. 337 00:14:00,212 --> 00:14:01,878 The only calls on your machine 338 00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:03,213 are from collection agencies 339 00:14:03,215 --> 00:14:04,464 about that pair of motorcycle boots 340 00:14:04,466 --> 00:14:05,749 you've never even worn. 341 00:14:05,751 --> 00:14:08,885 You stalk your old high school boyfriend online, 342 00:14:08,887 --> 00:14:10,720 go to his daughter's soccer games, and make a scene. 343 00:14:10,722 --> 00:14:12,822 You buy a diamond ring for yourself 344 00:14:12,824 --> 00:14:14,290 wear it on your right hand, 345 00:14:14,292 --> 00:14:16,459 and tell yourself you're all you need. 346 00:14:16,461 --> 00:14:19,813 One day, you're alone, tired. 347 00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:21,898 At your feet, a dying bird. 348 00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:23,600 But where did it come from? 349 00:14:23,602 --> 00:14:25,185 Why did you kill it? 350 00:14:25,187 --> 00:14:27,070 It is because, in some strange way, 351 00:14:27,072 --> 00:14:28,805 it is you? 352 00:14:28,807 --> 00:14:30,740 Thank you all for your concern, 353 00:14:30,742 --> 00:14:33,326 but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, okay? 354 00:14:33,328 --> 00:14:36,830 - Pfft! Well. - Thank you. 355 00:14:36,832 --> 00:14:38,998 Thank you. 356 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,484 So does this mean you're gonna take Darryl back? 357 00:14:41,486 --> 00:14:43,086 No. 358 00:14:43,088 --> 00:14:44,370 Well, then, what would you say 359 00:14:44,372 --> 00:14:47,657 to you and me hitting the town? 360 00:14:47,659 --> 00:14:51,428 'Cause I'm free, literally, forever. 361 00:14:51,430 --> 00:14:53,513 Yeah, Kevin asked me out. 362 00:14:53,515 --> 00:14:55,765 I was kind of feeling good about re-entering the dating pool, 363 00:14:55,767 --> 00:14:57,934 and then Kevin asked me out. 364 00:14:57,936 --> 00:15:01,137 Thought I might trade up to a new level of man. 365 00:15:01,139 --> 00:15:03,924 Then Kevin asked me out. 366 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,237 - Hello? - Hi, honey, it's mom. 367 00:15:17,239 --> 00:15:18,855 Look, Cece's school just called. 368 00:15:18,857 --> 00:15:22,191 - She still has lice. - What? No, that can't-- 369 00:15:22,193 --> 00:15:23,710 I don't-- - Now, don't worry, don't worry. 370 00:15:23,712 --> 00:15:25,161 I'm on my way to pick her up, 371 00:15:25,163 --> 00:15:26,796 but you might have lice too. 372 00:15:26,798 --> 00:15:27,997 You know, lice can be tricky. 373 00:15:27,999 --> 00:15:30,166 Sometimes lice, like... 374 00:15:30,168 --> 00:15:32,886 - Oh, my God. - Shave her head. 375 00:15:32,888 --> 00:15:37,199 Shave her head! 376 00:15:40,979 --> 00:15:42,313 You guys, I am so sorry! 377 00:15:42,315 --> 00:15:44,682 It's just been so chaotic with Jim gone that I-- 378 00:15:44,684 --> 00:15:46,034 Yeah, yeah, princess fancy-pants 379 00:15:46,036 --> 00:15:48,486 letting Jane 12-pack over here take the fall! 380 00:15:48,488 --> 00:15:50,154 She's right, Pam. 381 00:15:50,156 --> 00:15:52,206 Is there a volume knob on that thing? 382 00:15:52,208 --> 00:15:55,326 Yes, there's a volume knob on that thing! 383 00:15:55,328 --> 00:16:00,581 Meredith, I am so sorry. 384 00:16:00,583 --> 00:16:03,033 Well, a lot of good your sorrys are doing her now, Pam. 385 00:16:03,035 --> 00:16:06,637 She's a monster. 386 00:16:06,639 --> 00:16:09,507 I meant to say something earlier. I just-- 387 00:16:09,509 --> 00:16:13,978 Just? Just what? Just forgot? 388 00:16:13,980 --> 00:16:16,881 Who's the one that didn't bring lice into the office? 389 00:16:16,883 --> 00:16:18,816 Meredith. 390 00:16:18,818 --> 00:16:20,601 Sure, I gave everybody pink-eye once, 391 00:16:20,603 --> 00:16:22,270 and my ex keyed a few of their cars. 392 00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:25,889 And, yeah, I BMed in the Shredder on New Year's, 393 00:16:26,172 --> 00:16:27,807 but I didn't bring the lice in. 394 00:16:27,808 --> 00:16:30,364 That was all Pam. 395 00:16:30,701 --> 00:16:32,854 Attention, people of the office. 396 00:16:32,889 --> 00:16:36,672 You have exactly 60 seconds to evacuate the bullpen. 397 00:16:37,212 --> 00:16:38,633 At that time... 398 00:16:38,668 --> 00:16:43,038 I will be tossing this powerful insecticidal grenade, 399 00:16:43,073 --> 00:16:47,510 which contains Piperonyl Butoxide, as well as... 400 00:16:49,892 --> 00:16:50,887 Dwight, are you okay? 401 00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:59,727 Whoa, the butoxide has a mild hallucinogenic effect that I don't think has kicked in yet. 402 00:16:59,762 --> 00:17:01,405 I'm gonna count down for ten. 403 00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:03,089 Nine... 404 00:17:04,111 --> 00:17:05,466 Yellow... 405 00:17:05,501 --> 00:17:06,926 Cold. 406 00:17:06,961 --> 00:17:08,074 What's that? 407 00:17:08,109 --> 00:17:10,244 Purple. 408 00:17:11,020 --> 00:17:13,871 Wow. He got to purple. 409 00:17:15,941 --> 00:17:17,107 Ow! 410 00:17:17,109 --> 00:17:19,660 Sorry. 411 00:17:19,662 --> 00:17:23,131 You're waterboarding me! 412 00:17:23,133 --> 00:17:26,884 Oops. 413 00:17:34,476 --> 00:17:37,962 No, this is fine. We're allowed to do this. 414 00:17:37,964 --> 00:17:42,967 This is okay. 415 00:17:42,969 --> 00:17:44,802 Okay, you're up. 416 00:17:44,804 --> 00:17:47,939 Yeah, I'm actually kind of sad to see this baby go. 417 00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:49,974 You do kind of look like Elvis, 418 00:17:49,976 --> 00:17:55,312 but we should probably wash all the dead lice out. 419 00:17:57,833 --> 00:18:01,786 - Okay. - Okay. Okay. 420 00:18:04,873 --> 00:18:06,490 Is that too cold? 421 00:18:06,492 --> 00:18:10,511 No. Actually, it feels kind of nice. 422 00:18:19,772 --> 00:18:21,672 I wonder what happened over there. 423 00:18:21,674 --> 00:18:23,624 I've been sitting here the whole time. 424 00:18:30,115 --> 00:18:31,816 - Okay. - Huh? 425 00:18:31,818 --> 00:18:34,285 Let's give it a shot. Let's make it work. 426 00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:36,237 Oh, no. I mean, I want to. 427 00:18:36,239 --> 00:18:38,206 I just-- I don't want to force you into doing 428 00:18:38,208 --> 00:18:39,657 something you don't want to do. 429 00:18:39,659 --> 00:18:42,860 You're not. I believe in us. 430 00:18:42,862 --> 00:18:44,591 But-- 431 00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:50,918 I'm back together with Val. 432 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,504 Yay. 433 00:18:57,093 --> 00:18:59,176 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 434 00:18:59,178 --> 00:19:00,377 Had a pretty good day today. 435 00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:03,481 Not everything went exactly according to plan, 436 00:19:03,483 --> 00:19:07,217 but, lice, if you are watching, 437 00:19:07,219 --> 00:19:10,688 I am ready for you anytime, anywhere. 438 00:19:16,078 --> 00:19:18,195 Hey, Erin already take off? 439 00:19:18,197 --> 00:19:21,565 I guess so. 440 00:19:21,567 --> 00:19:23,135 Okay. 441 00:19:26,405 --> 00:19:28,337 You're Kareem, coming to help. 442 00:19:28,338 --> 00:19:29,196 Okay, I'm Kareem. 443 00:19:29,197 --> 00:19:31,625 That makes total sense. I'm Kareem, you're Dr. J. 444 00:19:31,626 --> 00:19:32,999 That sounds weird to say out loud. 445 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,851 And it went like this... 446 00:19:37,452 --> 00:19:39,422 And that's all. 447 00:19:39,423 --> 00:19:42,278 No one will believe this back home but that's okay. 448 00:19:42,279 --> 00:19:44,233 - Let me show you how... - Yeah, you show me how to do it. 449 00:19:48,171 --> 00:19:49,973 Hey, honey. It's me. 450 00:19:49,974 --> 00:19:52,138 Just trying to catch you before going home. 451 00:19:52,139 --> 00:19:53,191 Uh... 452 00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:56,714 Well, just give me a call whenever. 453 00:19:56,749 --> 00:19:58,645 Hope your day got better. Love you. 454 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,662 Hey. 455 00:20:01,697 --> 00:20:03,496 What're you doing right now? 456 00:20:03,531 --> 00:20:07,675 I'm just gonna go home. My mom's been watching the kids all day. 457 00:20:08,338 --> 00:20:09,436 Let her stay another hour. 458 00:20:09,471 --> 00:20:10,902 Let's go get a beer. 459 00:20:10,937 --> 00:20:11,816 Really? 460 00:20:11,851 --> 00:20:14,615 A beer sounds incredible right now. 461 00:20:14,650 --> 00:20:17,540 No-duh. Let's go. You're buying. 462 00:20:19,730 --> 00:20:22,590 Meredith, I am so sorry about today. 463 00:20:22,625 --> 00:20:23,827 Forget about it. 464 00:20:23,862 --> 00:20:27,743 I just did not realize how hard it was gonna be without Jim. 465 00:20:28,601 --> 00:20:30,034 I mean, I really respect you 466 00:20:30,036 --> 00:20:31,869 for being a single mom all these years. 467 00:20:31,871 --> 00:20:34,572 It whipped my ass in half a week. 468 00:20:34,574 --> 00:20:36,490 I have to say, there are not a lot of people 469 00:20:36,492 --> 00:20:39,210 who could pull off a shaved head, but you're rocking it. 470 00:20:39,212 --> 00:20:40,778 Right? 471 00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:42,079 I got the bartender's phone number 472 00:20:42,081 --> 00:20:43,331 when you were in the john. 473 00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:45,082 I'm gonna take that freak to bone town 474 00:20:45,084 --> 00:20:47,468 before the night is over. 475 00:20:47,470 --> 00:20:49,420 Get it, girl! 476 00:20:53,698 --> 00:20:56,665 This one's for all you ladies out there. 477 00:20:58,869 --> 00:21:00,953 - ♪ I come-- ♪ - Not yet. 478 00:21:03,107 --> 00:21:06,191 ♪ I come home in the middle of the night ♪ 479 00:21:06,193 --> 00:21:10,913 ♪ my mother says, when you gonna live your life right? ♪ 480 00:21:10,915 --> 00:21:14,100 ♪ oh, mother dear, we're not the fortunate ones ♪ 481 00:21:14,101 --> 00:21:17,643 ♪ and girls, they want to have fun ♪ 482 00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:22,736 ♪ oh, girls just want to have fun ♪ 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net