Murderers!
Easy for you to gun us down! All we got is rocks!
HATE
To those who died while this film was being made...
It's about a guy who falls off a skyscraper.
On his way down past each floor, he keeps telling himself
"So far so good...
"so far so good...
"so far so good."
But it's not how you fall that matters.
It's how you land.
DON'T FORGET: THE POLICE KILL!
JUSTICE FOR MAKO!
Riots rocked the projects Late into the night.
A mob of youths attacked a police station
in the Muguet projects
The battle for the streets left 14 officers wounded.
There were 33 arrests.
Loafers damaged a mall and nearby buildings
before dispersing around 4:00 a.m.
The riots were a response to local police brutality.
Two days ago, a local teen was severely beaten while in custody.
The officer was suspended.
The victim, Abdel Ichaha, is still in critical condition at -
Minor apprehended for theft. No ID.
FUCK THE POLICE!
Hey, Vinz! Where the fuck is that guy?
- What? - Whaddaya mean, what?
Can't fuckin' say hello? - What the fuck do you want, Saïd?
Tell your brother to come down.
- What for? - Tell him!
- What for? - Just tell him!
- What for? - Is this a TV game show?
Quit your hollering!
You guys made enough racket last night!
- You saw me last night? - Stop your racket!
Always whining like a little girl! - You'll burn next time, asshole!
You gonna call him or what? - Who you callin' an asshole?
You still there? Beat it!
If I wake him up, he'll get mad. You try!
I hope the cops tan your hide good!
Yo, Vinz!
Fuck off, Saïd!
Watch your mouth, asshole, or I'll slap your face!
Get out of here. You stink!
You want to play this early? Go on.
One, two, three.
You lose.
Fuck your sister.
I told you to lay off about my sister!
Your sister sucks Smurf dick. Get lost!
Phony Jew boy! Think you can take me on?
I saw a cow.
- A what? - A cow.
- Where's your stash? - In the box.
During the riot last night, I ducked behind a building.
Wham! I ran right into a cow.
Really?
Stop smoking. It's messing you up.
Off my bed or I'll tell Grandma you're doing drugs!
I'll slit your throat, hang you upside down,
and let you choke on your own blood!
Grandma!
Come on.
Get outta here. - Stay off my bed!
Grandma!
Scram, you little snitch!
Get out.
Watch your mouth around my sister.
- Salt! - You talk to your granny like that ?
- You my dad? - Leave Dad out of this.
What, you my mother now?
Why aren't you at school anyway? - It burned down.
Burning down schools? Savages!
Next you'll skip temple!
- Grandma! - What?
- I didn't burn the school down. - And you don't go to temple either.
Okay, enough!
If everyone ran away from an argument, there'd be a stampede!
At least we'd all be going the same way.
You talkin' to me?
You talkin' to me, fucker?
You talkin' to me?
Is this motherfucker talkin' to me?
You talkin' to me, man?
He tells his buddy, “I'd do anything for cash - even kill people.
I'd even waste you for some cash.”
His buddy freaks. “You would?”
So the first guy says, “Just kidding. You're my friend.
I won't waste you for cash! I'll do it for free!”
isn't that a great line? “I'll waste you for free!”
isn't that a great line? - I heard you the first time.
Tell your brother to come see me.
Isn't that a great line? “I'll waste you for free!”
Shut up and pass the joint.
Isn't that a great line?
“I'll waste you for free.” How can you top that?
What's up your ass today?
YO' MOMMA SUCKS BEAR DICK
Holy fuck!
The bastards trashed this place!
Look!
I don't fuckin' believe it!
How'd they get the car in here? The doors aren't wide enough.
Saïd, check it out.
He's gotta be pissed off.
No shit. Took him two years to get this gym!
That's some good shit, Vinz.
It's not mine. It's Hubert's.
Stop hoggin'' the joint.
- I thought you quit smoking. - I thought so too.
- What went down here? - Guess.
A fire?
You win the prize, Einstein!
Wow, you're on fire today.
I knew it'd go up in smoke one day.
So why'd you bust your ass to get it?
It was worth it to him, dickface!
You're the dick. You know who did it?
I don't want to know.
How'd they get the car in here? The doors aren't wide enough.
We talked shit to 'em and spit on 'em,
but the cops didn't budge!
Suddenly the fuckers clear a path -
These plainclothes pigs come through with bats and shit.
J.B. got the shit knocked out of him.
But we charged and got through.
One fucking head-butt and a pig went down!
Listen.
A Yamaha.
More like yo' momma on a dirt bike.
That's Mohammed's bike. He fixed the exhaust.
No, it's Vinz's mom on a Yamaha!
Which Mohammed? Farida's younger brother?
Farida who just got her driver's license?
No, Farida from the supermarket.
anyway-
you guys should've been there.
It was intense.
Tear gas in your face, two nights in the can,
all the fists you can eat, and then you catch hell at home!
I don't see the fuckin' point!
Gimme a break!
It was war against the pigs, man, in living colour!
I was trying to score some cash.
Your bogus riot fucked it all up!
When a brother goes down, I stand up!
What brother? Do I know the guy?
I don't take a hit for some homeboy gangster I don't know.
Let's go.
- I mean it! - Abdel's no gangster.
All I know is I can't outrun bullets!
Hey, hands off the hot dogs!
- Give us some. - You payin'?
- Stop your whining. - Shut up or you'll be the one whining.
Same price for everyone: five francs.
Except Hubert. It's his building.
- Five francs? - That's right.
They're great. You should try one.
I've just got five francs.
- Here. - Lay off!
I'll remember this, guys. - You do that.
Don't be an asshole. Give it to me on credit.
Should I give it to your sister on credit too?
Don't talk about my sister like that!
Chill out, you bogus Arab!
You bastard! Give that back!
- Got any change? - Nah, we're broke.
So the judge says it's either two months in jail
or community service.
Community service? That's the worst shit!
You ever done it? Jail is bad enough!
You'd rather do time?
- Your bro stole a hot dog! - Liar!
- His mouth is full! - Put it on my tab.
Your nose is growing, Pinocchio.
I'll bust your nose, Saïd!
Get outta here!
A .45 automatic.
Like Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon.
We saw it together. It was a 9mm Glock!
A what?
- No, it was a Desert Eagle. - What are you talking about?
When he fired at the truck.
What are you talking about?
Chill, Saïd.
A cop lost his gun in the riot last night.
That's right. Too much, huh?
I don't know the pig who lost his piece...
but I'd sure like to know the guy who found it.
No joke!
Your brain's not connected to your mouth.
I'm gonna sleep, eat, lift weights, bulk up.
Everyone's been inside but me.
So a month in the can for armed robbery is a big deal?
- It's not in your league - - My league? I've never done time!
You never got nabbed.
- I stopped in time. - Hey, Vinz!
Come look! We got visitors!
It's the mayor!
Up yours, Mr. Mayor! Motherfucker!
That's enough now.
Who's in charge here? You, Nordine?
What's going on here?
Think this is Disneyland?
You know you can't come up here. You have to get down.
We're not making any trouble.
That's not the point. You have to get down.
- We like it up here. - You have to get down.
Is that the only line they teach you in pig school?
Cut it out, all of you!
Quiet!
- The next guy who starts - - No point arguing!
You can't stay up here.
So grab your little chairs and your hot dogs,
and let's all go back downstairs.
It's okay.
Who's gonna make us leave?
Your goons? Or you in your little uniform?
Nordine, we're just doing our job.
This is our turf!
Shut up!
Go back to your pigpen!
Don't talk to me like that. I don't even know you.
Now get lost! - Sitting duck!
Yo' momma's a crack whore!
That's enough, damn it!
Whoever wants to stay, stay. The rest, get going.
- I'm staying. - You're going.
Let me stay, Nordine!
- What did I say? - You said go.
- So what do you do? - I go!
Okay, I'm going! Vinz, come on!
We're going!
You always wimp out!
He said we gotta go!
Like in sex shops. Vinz, what's it called?
- A G-string. - What?
A G-string, moron.
Anyway, I fucked her like an animal.
We were in the room - What?
She kept screaming for more.
We were so loud, the guy next door pounded on the wall.
You fucked her all right - in your dreams!
What?
- You know the bitch? - Yeah. She has AIDS.
Cut the shit.
Excuse me. We're from Channel 5. Were you in the riot last night?
Did you smash things or burn cars?
- Do we look like thugs? - I didn't say that.
Then what do we look like?
Get out of the car! This isn't Thoiry.
- We have work to do. - What kind of work?
Stirring up shit to get a scoop?
Stop filming!
Who the fuck you think you are, coming around here! Quit filming!
Quit taping, dickhead!
This isn't Thoiry!
Motherfuckers!
What's with all these assholes today?
Who was that fucking bimbo?
- What's Thoiry? - A zoo you drive through in your car.
Thoiry, my ass!
Open UP-
You fucking jerks.
Speak proper French. This is France!
What's wrong with you? It’s 1:00 p.m.
I didn't get any sleep. Stop it!
What's that thing on your head?
Quit hassling me.
Dig that cap! Think you're in a movie?
- What's this shitty TV? - Watch where you sit!
It's just sweats!
Where's the new TV? - Too big to get out of the stockroom.
I came by yesterday for my dough. Where were you?
I don't have your dough.
Don't you know what happened?
Go see what your buddies did.
- Severe! - Grilled it like a hot dog!
Your buddy did that - Foued's brother.
- So what? - So what?
Give me his address. Look what he did to my car.
Look what he did!
Put that down!
I'm out 50,000 francs! How can I work now?
Darty, it's just a car.
What's that?
Are you crazy? It's all I've got.
Cut it out!
Gimme that!
One of our guys is dying. Fuck your car.
One of our guys? This is what I'm dealing with!
You make me sick.
That car was all I had!
- The riot! - My car's more important!
- Look! The riot! - Piece of shit!
- Fix the antenna. - I'm trying!
It's David! How'd he get on TV?
I was right over here. The fuckers missed me.
- Fix it! I can't see a thing! - This TV sucks.
How'd that fucker get on TV?
Hey, gimme my money! - I don't have it. Astérix has it.
Then gimme my coat and get outta my face.
You guys must be happy.
A cop lost his piece in the projects.
I hope whoever finds it uses it uptown for once, and not around here.
Don't worry. We'll get even.
You know that show Candid Camera ?
This celebrity's sure he's been set up for the show.
His buddy arranges with the camera guys
to make the famous guy think they're out to get him.
He eats in the same joint every day.
He's sure they'll film him there.
The others convince him there's a hidden camera.
He sees the TV truck, a camera behind the mirror,
and the guy across from him is acting real weird.
The famous guy thinks he'll fool them.
He acts like he hasn't noticed anything.
But he's shitting bricks waiting for something to happen.
But they got no tricks planned. They just film him flipping out.
So you see this guy - Cut it out, Saïd!
- It wasn't me! - Then who was it?
The guy's sweating, but he tries to act all cool.
Every time the waiter comes by, he expects some trick.
Then some guy asks him for his autograph.
The celebrity thinks it's a trick and goes off on the guy,
who doesn't know what's up and gets pissed off.
They start punching each other out,
and the Candid Camera guys have to break it up.
There was some real ass-whoopin'.
Then what?
That's all.
Who was the celebrity?
I don't remember, but he was famous.
Looks like trouble.
Peace.
What did they want?
“Revenge is a dish best eaten cold.”
Just kidding. It was Abdel's brother. He's got a shotgun.
Party time!
Wanna go visit Abdel in the hospital?
I've got something to show you first.
Fuckin' killer! Check it out.
Damn, it's beautiful!
- What are you gonna do with it? - Stop it.
- Well? - Depends if Abdel dies.
- You gonna kill a cop? - It'll get me some respect.
- Icing a pig will get you respect? - At least it'll even the score.
- I could've gotten you a piece. - This one's special.
Think you're on a mission?
What mission? I got the gun, that's all. Don't get worked up.
- Will that help Abdel? - It'll help us.
Stop acting tough!
You pussy! You're fuckin' up!
I'll do what I have to do.
- Don't get me mixed up in this. - Fine. Just leave.
One thing's for sure:
With that piece, you're the big man in the projects.
Hubert, wait for me!
Shit!
What the fuck are you doing?
Okay! Don't have a shit fit!
Sorry, guys. You can't go in.
Come on. We came to see Abdel.
Sorry. I have my orders.
Just a few minutes. Then we'll leave.
He's our friend.
The doctors won't let you in. He's in a coma.
We won't start any shit.
If I let you in, I'll lose my job.
Okay, ass-kisser!
Don't start with that! His family is here.
Respect their peace and quiet. - You're keeping the wrong people out.
Hands off, man!
Let's see you make me leave!
Gonna shoot me? Pull out your little pop gun!
He's an asshole! We came to see a friend!
- What's going on? - We're not leaving till we see Abdel.
Beat it or I'll run you in!
Shut up!
Calm down!
These young men made trouble. I got the ringleader.
- He didn't do anything. - I got the leader.
- The leader? - He means Saïd.
You haven't caused enough trouble? You had to barge into the hospital?
They were just doing their job. - Their job?
Shut your face once and for all!
- You shut yours! - Don't talk to me like that!
- Same to you! - Shut up, damn it!
You don't know shit! - What do you know?
Cut it out, asshole.
- Watch your mouth! - Then you watch yours!
The bastards who beat up Abdel will go to jail!
Keep dreaming!
The cops at the hospital are there to protect Abdel and his family.
You keep fucking things up!
Stupid idiot! You get everything backwards!
Those cops are there to protect Abdel, that's all.
Most cops don't hassle you! They protect you!
And who protects us from you?
This better not happen again!
Good line. You in movies?
Watch your mouth!
Watch your mother, asshole!
Make me look bad again and you go to central lockup!
Your brother can bail you out.
- I didn't ask for any favours. - I did it for your brother.
He'd have torn you a new asshole!
You're the asshole.
I can get you a city grant for another gym.
I'm sure you can get another one.
That's over. Kids want to punch more than bags now!
It's hopeless. Once I could talk to the kids. No more.
And they know me!
A well-meaning rookie cop wouldn't last a month.
An Arab in a police station doesn't last an hour!
I have to go. Try to keep cool.
Yeah, we'll try.
Don't even talk to me, you little fucker!
Okay, okay.
You shake his hand now? - He's always been cool with me.
You don't shake a pig's hand!
Fine! Shoot him if you want! I shake his hand!
You're a fucking pain! - And you're a clueless fuck! Look!
I knew it!
That's why you acted so weird at the hospital!
- Don't touch! - Let me see!
- You didn't even tell us? - You didn't want to know!
- I didn't think you were that stupid! - I'm a big boy.
Quit your preaching! - I'll kick your ass!
Stop, damn it!
You a big shot with that gun? I'll fuck you up!
Cut it out! Let's grab a sandwich.
You shut up!
I'm outta here. - Fuck off!
Where are you going? Come back!
All right, go!
Get your hands off me.
What's his problem?
The jerk thinks too much.
- Where's Mom? - Explain this to me.
- I don't have time. - Hubert!
- Well? - I don't have time.
- What's the answer? - I don't know.
- You never know. - Okay, fine.
Hi, Mom.
How's the kid brother? - He's fine.
But your brother in jail isn't so good.
- What's with Max now? - He needs textbooks.
What for?
To get a high school diploma while he's inside.
He didn't even finish junior high.
Hands off!
I didn't do anything.
I don't how I'll find the money.
Speaking of which...
there's some money for the gas bill.
- What about my machine? - What machine?
Did you ask about my new sewing machine?
Shit! I forgot to ask Darty.
This one's ready to croak.
Patou, go study in your room.
- Ah, Mom - - Don't argue.
Who's Darty? The fence in Tower B?
- No, he's in Tower D. - I don't know him.
Could he get us textbooks? - That's not his line, Mom.
Official sources confirm
that an officer lost his gun in last night's riot,
and if its still missing.
We asked local residents if the lost gun poses a danger
in this explosive situation.
- What a fuck-up! - They burned down the gym.
I'm sick of the projects.
I want out. It's not like before.
I'm sure Vinz helped torch the gym.
He's going wild, just like Max.
I have to get out.
I have to get out of here.
If you see a store on the way, pick up some lettuce.
No, sorry.
My grandma's a regular here! So I'm two francs short!
You're not your grandma.
- Hands off! - I'm just looking!
- Got two francs? - How 'bout one?
No, one franc won't do.
Stop muttering and give me a franc, you old dinosaur!
Fine!
Now what?
- I saw that. - What?
Fine, give me the red peppers.
My grandma'll kill me! She hates red peppers, damn it!
So shoot the chink and grab the good ones.
Make your grandma happy.
Fuck the police
He kicks ass, man.
He's fucking intense.
Saïd, check out the cow!
Fuck you and your cow!
Come on and cut my hair.
That's the same cow I saw yesterday!
- You're the cow! - It's the same fucking cow!
You gotta believe me! - Shut the fuck up!
I am Senor Duck.
I'll fuck all of you - you, him, her!
I know, Grandma. They're red peppers.
Seeing a cow in the middle of the night is fuckin' weird.
Vinz, don't mess up my hair.
I gotta get laid, so watch it!
- I'm no Paul Bocuse. I'll do my best. - Bocuse?
Sit your ass down.
- It's hot, Vinz. - What?
This cop's piece.
You said that already. Sit still and stop fuckin' around!
Easy or I'll shoot.
Sit still!
You really gonna kill a cop if Abdel dies?
You wanna be the next Arab iced by the pigs?
Well, me neither.
So now you're an Arab?
They think we're full of shit,
but I'm not bullshitting about this!
Easy there!
Is this gun legal for a cop?
What'd you do? - Nothing, I swear!
- Why you swearing? - 'Cause it's nothing.
- It feels cold there! - It's cold in here.
What do you mean, it's cold in here?
I'll even it out, it'll be great!
Stop and let me see!
No fuckin' trust Look.
- I didn't see! - You didn't look!
I didn't see shit!
Trust me, damn it!
It's a nice hole!
Trust me or no haircut!
- Look at me, Saïd! - Get outta here!
Stop being such a drag.
Everyone in New York wears it like that. It's a killer look. Stop whining.
They go around like this in New York? I look like a punk!
Stop laughing!
Come on. Let's have a kiss.
Get outta my sight.
Stop being such a pain.
Hey, pooch, is your master still an asshole?
Look. It's your sister.
What are you doing here with your friends?
Go on, beat it!
Get out of here, you cows.
You still here? Piss off!
Don't be talking to my friends! - I can talk to Vincent.
His name is Vinz, and you don't talk to him!
Hey, Vinz.
Want a hit?
You coming tonight? - Where?
Jason's brother's in a prize fight in Paris.
- You got tickets? - Freebies.
Killer!
No respect!
Check that out!
Hey, there's shit goin' down!
Remember my brother, you fuck?
Stop it, goddamn it!
Step on it!
I got him! Drop the gun!
Freeze!
Get back!
The cops! The cops!
Get back, scum!
Vinz, Hubert, this way!
This way!
Freeze!
What are you doing? You crazy?
Where were you guys?
We fucked you up, man!
FUCK YO' MOMMA
I swear the pig was right in my sights. I had him like I have you now!
The sucker froze and shit in his pants.
If Hubert hadn't been there, I'd have fuckin' smoked him!
Hubert slugged him so hard he went into orbit!
You guys slugged a pig?
Hubert, you were awesome!
Wham! We got him!
THE WORLD IS YOURS
What do we do now?
I don't know about you two, but I gotta call to get my dough.
Hello?
I need Astérix's address.
Okay, but don't keep me on hold!
Fifteen francs for a Yoo-hoo! He'd better have my money!
You want some, Vinz?
You sure? Just a bit?
Hey, cuz, you want -
Right. You're already a Yoo-hoo.
You guys gonna sulk all night?
Who's sulking? Not me.
This is unbelievable! Like two little kids!
- Who's the kid? - Two kids worked up over bullshit.
I'm 100% with you.
Killing a cop is bullshit.
Tell your buddy to back off. I never said I was gonna do it.
- Yes, you did. - No, I didn't.
That's not what I said.
I said if Abdel died, yeah, but not just for the hell of it.
Without my gun back there,
we'd have been history! I'm no Malik Oussekine, man!
There's a big difference!
Think we'll waste our Sundays visiting you in jail?
I don't ask for nothing from a guy who kisses a cop's ass!
Go ahead, laugh!
I'm fucking sick of the goddamn system!
We live in rat holes, and you don't lift a fuckin' finger to change things!
Neither do you!
You're my homeboys, so I'm telling you:
If Abdel dies, I hit back. I'll whack a pig!
So they know we won't turn the other cheek now!
What a speech! Half Moses, half Bernard Tapie.
Forget it, Vinz. You're out of your league.
If Abdel dies, do we lose a friend?
If a cop dies, it's just one cop, right?
You're just one guy! You can't blow 'em all away!
So now you're a preacher? You know what's right and wrong?
Why do you always side with the assholes?
Who's the asshole here?
If you'd stayed in school, you'd know hate breeds hate!
Fine, I'm from the street! What of it?
Know what it taught me?
Turn the other cheek and you're dead, motherfucker!
Bullshit! You aimed a gun at a cop! We could've been killed!
Nothing like a good shit!
Do you believe in God? That's not the real question.
Does God believe in us?
I once had a friend named Grunwalski.
We were deported to Siberia together.
When you go to a Siberian work camp,
you travel in a cattle car.
You roll across icy steppes for days
without seeing a soul.
You huddle together to keep warm.
The problem is that when you gotta take a shit,
you can't do it on the train.
And the only time the train stops
is to take on water for the locomotive.
But Grunwalski was very shy.
We had to bathe in groups,
and even that embarrassed him.
I used to tease him about it.
So the train stops,
and everyone jumps out to shit behind the cars.
I'd given Grunwalski such grief
that he went off on his own.
So the train starts moving again
and everyone jumps on -
because the train doesn't wait.
But Grunwalski had gone off behind a bush
and hadn't finished shitting.
I see him come out from behind a bush,
holding up his pants with both hands
so he wouldn't trip over them.
He tries to catch up.
I hold out my hand,
but every time he reaches for it,
he has to let go of his pants, and they drop to his ankles.
He pulls them back up and starts running again,
but every time he reaches for my hand, they fall down again.
- So what happened then? - Nothing.
Grunwalski froze to death.
Good day.
Why'd he tell us all that?
Yeah, I've got the address. I'll call you back.
Why'd he tell us all that?
Ladies and gentlemen, I just got out of the hospital.
I haven't eaten in two days, and I've got a child to feed.
If you could spare some change... Mina's hot, isn't she?
You gotta lasso her like a cowboy, you know?
What do you want?
My dad's in prison. So's my mom, my brother, my sister.
Get a job like everyone else!
Is the fuckin' circus in town today or what?
That fucking Mina!
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm homeless and my welfare's run out,
and I got kicked out of a halfway house...
- It's just down the street. - Thank you.
- Have a nice day, sir. - Thanks.
The pigs are so fuckin' polite around here!
He even called me sir!
Maybe he won the lottery and didn't tell anyone!
Damn! it's locked!
What's his real name?
I only know him as Astérix.
Fuck it.
- Yes? - Sorry to bother you.
I'm looking for. .. Astérix.
I know it sounds weird - - You fuckin' kidding me?
The fucker hung up!
You try.
Why me? -Try!
Darkie and me'll get shot at!
- Hello. - Yes?
Is Astérix there?
No, but how about Obélix?
Fuck you, lady!
You fucked it up, you jerk!
Stop that.
Sorry to bother you, ma'am.
Our pal Astérix lives here, but we don't know his real name.
Stop messing with the intercom! Think you own the place?
Unreal!
Come on. We're leaving!
No, we're staying!
- Saïd? - Astérix!
- What floor? - Fifth!
Buzz us in!
Astérix! Who's ever heard of such a thing!
Anyone follow you?
No one? You sure? - Why?
Because...
How you doin'? - Great!
- Check out that kitchen. - Who is this guy?
What is this? Did you win the lottery?
A friend lent me his apartment, and I'm not giving it back!
This is no apartment. It's a palace!
- I don't believe it! - This is what you call an apartment!
Astérix, meet Vinz.
- We've met, right? - My man Hubert.
We've met.
A line of coke?
You sure? - No, thanks.
A little coke? No one's up for a little coke?
How's your bro? - Okay.
- Fuckin' bastard still bangin' bitches? - What about you?
More than ever. Watch this.
So you got my bread?
Come on, cough it up!
Cut the bullshit!
Come get it.
Comin' at you, Bruce Lee!
- Hey, that's not for kids. - What?
That's my gun.
So what? I'm packin' too.
Let's see.
Show me!
Vinz, put that away.
Relax.
A snub-nosed Smith & Wesson Magnum 44.
Watch it. It's loaded.
A mean piece. You a gangster?
- It's for self-defense. - You know Gérard Majax?
- What? - Watch. One bullet.
I missed!
You're nuts! Those are real bullets!
- It's an old classic. - That's enough.
Let's up the stakes. Two bullets this time.
What are you doing?
You wiggin' out, guys?
Are you nuts?
Give it back.
Your turn.
- Saïd, let's go. This guy's fried. - You gonna do it?
- Give 'em here. - Do it!
I did it. You do it! - What the fuck, man?
Do it!
Okay, okay.
- You aiming at me? - You're paranoid, man!
You bet I'm aiming at you!
I'm not some ass-wipe, you hear?
I'll show you a gun!
Saïd, get him outta here!
Okay, we're leaving!
A little coke, asshole? Up your mother's hole, you fuck!
Look.
That's right, asshole!
He was bluffing!
Great! Now I'll never get my cash, damn it!
Leave us out of your little games, okay?
Games? Our bro's in the hospital, remember?
Stop carrying the world on your shoulders! You ain't got the build for it!
What are you? Super Nigga?
- Go fuck yourself! - Fuck myself?
Excuse us, gentlemen.
Who're you?
Seems you've been making trouble. Get that one too.
- Pat that one down. - Easy there!
Fast work! In my 'hood, the cops come a week after you're dead!
Hey, Young man!
You guys together? - I don't know them.
- Why you here? - I came to see my aunt!
- What's her name? - Mrs... uh -
Mrs. what? Let's see some ID.
I'm on the level!
Come on.
Easy!
Don't move!
Freeze, boy!
You know him? - Who?
- Your pal. - I don't know him!
You shittin' me? We'll see about that.
- Hold still. - There goes my rep!
Shoulda thought of that before. What's this?
Good shit. See this?
I'm keeping it.
Afghan's the best.
Good buzz going up and coming down.
Same with Black Bombay.
Lebanese can really vary.
This is crap, but I'll keep it.
Well?
Little fucker outran me. Take 'em in.
- Get in the back. - Do it!
Listen, scumbag.
To me you're just a pile of dog shit on the sidewalk
You know what happens to dog shit?
It gets scooped up,
or washed away by the rain,
or just flattened!
Some friendly advice: Watch where you shit!
You're all alone, far from the projects...
and your hooligan buddies.
Pick it up with your feet.
Like your people do back home.
They're great with their feet.
This is the hard part.
Okay, there's no big hurry.
They could be free in two hours. We gotta use our time wisely.
- A little bullet - - No, this is all it takes.
A little bullet to the head.
Then you let go at the last minute.
You stay in control the whole time.
See? Like this.
Take it easy!
Asshole!
What about you? What do you say?
Don't touch him, fucker!
You know this one?
The Shanghai Squeeze.
Comes from far, far away.
Wait, I think he's thirsty.
Bastard!
You're gonna hurt yourself. Take it easy.
I gotta move. He's turning me on.
Looks like a bitch from behind.
A couple of little cock-sucking bitches.
Cocksuckers. Your whole race.
You gotta know when to relax, how to stop at the right moment.
That's the hard part. See?
I like this one. - Cute face.
What's the name on his ID?
- You a cutie? - Yeah, I'm a cutie!
- Hubert. - Which one is Hubert?
- Doesn't look like a Hubert. - No, he's French.
This is Saïd? Pretty name.
That's French? No shit.
Pretty name!
Look!
The little one's a live wire! - Leave him alone!
Okay, that's good.
Don't wimp out on us now.
The hard part is stopping in time.
You can't go too far.
Right, you Arab son of a bitch?
Okay, let's go.
Excuse me! We'll miss our last train!
- He won't let you out. - Bastard!
Was I talking to you?
Yo, Vinz!
Where are Saïd and Hubert?
I don't know. They pissed me off tonight.
You guys are always worked up over stupid shit.
Your sister's fine.
Shut up, asshole.
She's still fine.
Don't even think about it!
Don't even look at her!
Check out this turn!
Anyway, I heard she's pregnant.
Fuck off, asshole!
Don't diss my sisters!
What do you mean, no?
No. Now beat it.
Fuckin' nigger never lets us in!
We've hung with his bro for ten years, and he still gives us shit!
Drives me crazy.
What's with the steel, nigga?
What are you doing? Stop playing the cowboy!
Stop it.
I said I'd be back, motherfucker!
You don't talk so big now, fuckface!
Fuck you and your shitty club!
Motherfuckin' nigger!
Motherfucker!
Fuckin' pig made us miss it on purpose!
When's the next one?
Tomorrow morning.
How much did Astérix owe you exactly?
- What? - What'd he owe you?
- Five hundred. - You mean 500 grand?
- Five hundred francs. - What?
All this bullshit for 500 francs?
It's the principle.
The principle!
So Coyote's a bad motherfucker and Road Runner's a pussy?
Okay - Tweety and Sylvester: Who wins?
Fuck you and your crappy Sylvester.
I don't take shit from a guy who sees cows!
Know what I think? Hercules is the original gangster.
End of discussion.
Fine. Talking with you guys is a waste of time.
Look who's talking.
You guys know jack shit.
The cartoon is Spiff the Dog, not Hercules the Cat.
What are you talking about?
Hercules fucks Spiff's shit up!
What are you talking about?
Hercules fucks my shit up?
Anyway, Hercules is a brother.
A brother? Whatever!
Shall we, gentlemen?
We've got nothing to lose.
Positively frightful!
Hubert.
Is the guy who did this famous?
He will be when he grows up.
There's champagne, Cinzano, Bacardi.
I don't drink.
Outta my way. I want peanuts.
Why, thank you, Jeeves!
Hey, Jeeves!
What the fuck's wrong with you?
Saïd, let them by!
Check out the babes!
Now those are real women!
The black one's hot.
Do me a favour? - No way.
Didn't I buy you a taco last week?
You said you would. Do me this favour.
The black one. - Okay.
No, there's only two.
Hey, butt out!
Just me!
Get two!
Ladies, my name is Hubert.
My friend's very romantic but very shy. A real poet.
He'd love to talk with you.
He's over there.
All right?
See what you did to me?
He's really cool.
Really nice. - All right.
Saïd, come here.
Hold this.
Haven't we met?
No, but I wish we had.
Hello, ladies.
Dickheads.
- That's a painting there. - Okay, okay. You're the painting.
- You girls are lookin' fine. - For what?
What do you think?
I thought you were shy.
Shy? Oh, right. I'm really shy.
You got a phone number? Maybe we could -
You're all the same.
Your friend said you wanted to talk.
Talk? About what?
You're jerks. We were willing to chat,
but you get all aggressive. How can we respect you?
Who are you? The chick in the Wonderbra ads?
- I wasn't talking to you. - Well, I'm talking to you!
He's crazy!
What are you looking at?
- Are you cracked? - You're the crack!
- Stop it! - Are you crazy?
Gentlemen!
Okay, okay, gramps.
No one got hurt, right?
Everything's just fine.
- Please. - Please what?
Let's bounce!
Let's all calm down.
Stop it!
- Tell your friends - - Don't talk to me. Fuck off.
You can all go suck dick in hell!
- Yo' momma in hell! - And you're ugly too!
Oh, I'm so sorry!
Timber!
The malaise of the ghetto.
We shoulda grabbed the bastards' champagne.
Why do you think I got one of their wallets?
Hubert's cuttin' loose!
It's like riding a bike - you never forget.
“Mr. David Mo”!
Not here?
Then we're keeping it! - Gimme that.
What are you blabbing about? - Awesome!
What are you blabbing about?
Your name ain't David. Anyway, we don't take credit cards.
- Just this once. - Stop jerkin' me around.
- Did you fart? - No, you did.
- It wasn't me. It was you. - That's not my stink.
It is too. Cut it out.
Fuck! We're locked up out here!
Who farted?
- He did. - He did.
Can't you tell?
It was him.
Your ass reeks, man!
Goddamn motherfuckin' piece-of-shit steering wheel!
Cut the poetry and pull the damn thing!
Jean-Claude does this in five seconds flat.
Which Jean-Claude? The mailman?
No, the mailman's got that foxy chic.
No, Jean-Claude who got two years for auto theft.
Just bust the fucker!
Use your foot!
It stopped.
Let's go back.
- You're nuts. - Don't be a pussy!
Who you callin' a pussy?
Act cool, man.
Night of the Living Car!
The wipers!
Rip open that plastic box!
Rip the sucker open.
Connect the green wire to the red one.
Nah, that's for the blinkers.
How the fuck do they do it on MacGyver?
MacGyver can suck me!
Start the fucker up!
Who the fuck is that?
Man, you freaked me out!
- What the fuck you doin' here? - What?
- What are you doin' here? - Nothing.
Well, do it somewhere else!
Beat it! You'll get us nabbed!
- It's my wife. - What about her?
She left me.
You think we give a shit?
Not really.
- We waitin' for the cops? Start it! - Get outta here!
Touch the red wire to the green wire.
Fuck you, Hubert! That's for the horn!
- Try the blue wire, jerk! - If you're so smart, you do it!
Do it before I choke you!
You're a fuckin' pain!
I say it's gonna set off the horn.
The horn's the other wire!
Saïd's right.
You see?
See who was right? We do it my way!
Now gimme a piece of metal, quick!
You're a good guy! What's your name?
- My name? - You got a name?
My name is -
- Stop talking to him. - At least it's good for something!
Ready? Watch this.
You got it, man!
Who knows how to drive?
Vinz does.
No, I don't. I was never in the army. I don't got no license.
He does. He was in the army.
The navy! And I didn't pass the test!
I know how to drive.
Shut the fuck up!
- Vinz? - What?
You said you drove some chick around Israel in a Mercedes.
That was different.
The Mercedes down there are - What do you call it? Automatics.
You know what?
You guys are so full of shit it's coming outta your ears!
Fuck! Now what?
Sorry to interrupt...
but there's a police car.
- Where? - Over there.
Calm down, guys.
We're outta here on three, okay?
Ready? - Three!
Freeze!
Out of the way!
You down with OCB?
Yeah, you know me
You down with OCB?
Yeah, you know me
Sometimes you feel so fuckin' small.
Got any more bullshit wisdom?
Sure. “The early bird catches the fucking worm.”
“A stitch in time saves nine.”
“Haste makes waste.”
“Liberty, equality, brotherhood.”
I save that one for special occasions.
Holy fuck!
I'm totally wasted!
This is good shit, man.
Saïd, don't fuck around!
Leave him alone.
- Spray cans! - You're the can, man.
What was that old guy in the john trying to say?
All that talk about God and shitting. What was the point?
Hey, I see some skinheads.
Fuck Le Pen!
Look, God's the one who makes shit, so he helps you take a dump!
- Pass the joint. - You don't know shit about philosophy.
Listen to my poem:
“Le Pen's peter is just one millimeter.”
Not bad, right? Gimme a little respect.
Get outta here.
Vinz, you know the one about the guy who falls off a skyscraper?
On the way down he keeps telling himself,
“So far so good. So far so good.”
Yeah, but I heard it about a rabbi.
It's like us in the projects. “So far so good.”
But it's not how you fall that matters. It's how you land.
I feel like an ant lost in intergalactic space.
Watch me turn off the Eiffel Tower.
That only works in movies.
Goddamn it.
- Think you're in a movie? - Yeah, a porn flick - with yo' momma!
Stop talking about my mother! Your mother sticks carrots up her ass!
Yo' momma and papa live on Rue Gama!
Fuckin' nerve, talking about my father!
THE WORLD IS YOURS
- Take your bullshit somewhere else. - You want Swedish folk songs?
THE WORLD IS OURS
Hubert, how'd they get that car in the gym? Seriously.
- Ask Gérard Majax. - Very funny.
Look at all the sheep caught up in the system.
Like that guy. Doesn't look so bad all alone in his fancy leather jacket,
but he's one of the worst.
They let the system carry them along, just like this escalator.
They vote ultra-conservative but say they're not racist.
And if the escalators break down, the scumbags go on strike!
Racist!
CIVIL WAR IN BOSNIA
ABDEL ICHAHA DIES
Where's Vinz?
Fucking hell!
What?
Dumb fuck!
What did I do?
Where do you get off hittin' me? What did I do?
What's with that asshole?
- I've had enough of your shit! - What'd I do?
Help me out, Saïd.
- Help you what? What did I do? - Abdel's dead now!
He's sick of your shit.
What shit? What the fuck did I do?
You wanna kill a pig? Go right ahead.
But you're on your own 'cause we're outta here.
We're outta here.
Fine. Get lost, both of you!
I don't need you guys!
I know who I am and where I come from!
Then go back there and shut the fuck up.
And you go fuck your mother!
Shit!
- Drop it, Saïd. - Did we go too far?
What do we have here?
Shit, this is just perfect!
Wait a sec, guys.
You're the fucker who dissed us from the roof!
He went off on us.
Come on, asshole!
Come back!
What's wrong, motherfucker?
- I ain't done nothin'! - Can you outrun a bullet?
I ain't done nothin'!
Look what I got. What do you think?
Get in there, bastard!
Motherfucker!
Watch this!
What are you gonna do?
What am I gonna do? You think I'm all talk?
Watch! And don't try and stop me!
- Vinz, what are you doing? - Leave him alone.
Saving the human race, is that it? - Shut up.
There are good cops,
but the only good skinhead is a dead one. Shoot him.
We listened to your shit all day. Fucking shoot him!
Here, I'll help you.
No!
Go on! Shoot him!
Fuckin' shoot him!
Fuck the bastard up good! Shoot him!
Shoot, damn it!
Abdel's dead!
This is your chance to get even!
Shoot!
Beat it.
See ya tomorrow.
Here.
- Gonna kiss and make up? - Go home, loser.
Let's go, Vinz.
See ya tomorrow, Hubert.
Ever hear the one about the nun?
A drunk comes out of a bar and sees a nun in a long black cape.
Wham! He slugs her in the teeth, over and over.
After five minutes...
after he's beaten her to a pulp,
he looks at her and says, “You're not so tough, Batman!”
isn't that killer?
He thought the nun was Batman!
I heard it, but about a rabbi.
- Get over here, you! - What's wrong now?
You were on the roof!
You were on the roof, fucker!
What's wrong, asshole? Scared without your pals?
Not so tough now, are you? Look at him.
It's about a society on its way down,
and as it falls, it keeps telling itself,
"So far so good...
"so far so good...
"so far so good.”
It's not how you fall that matters.
It's how you land.