REAL 92.3, L.A.'s new home for hip-hop,
-Big Boy's Neighborhood. -Big Boy!
Good morning, L.A. You guys know
-it's the first of the month... -Morning!
...and I know all of our neighbors, all our hustlers,
are out there getting to it, but...
if you need a little help with a little bit of cash,
we got your cash prize courtesy of Payday Whenever.
Caller number 92, we got you covered
if you need some cash from Payday Whenever.
Now, it's going to be hot out there-- Extremely hot--
So make sure that you keep that AC blasting today,
or make your way to the beach
'cause you know it's always cooler on the Westside.
-But, most importantly... -Oh, yeah.
...coming up right here in Big Boy's Neighborhood.
Hey, Tony, Larry's gonna need an extra side of eggs.
He didn't say it, but I already know it's coming.
-Need some help! -I got it, I got it.
If he wanted to, he would.
All right. Y'all really got it cracking last night, huh?
Yeah, and we're doing it again tonight.
-Come with us! -Oh, girl, no, I can't.
But y'all go have fun. Don't forget
to wash your ass, though.
All right. Grab this for you.
You know my grandson Lawrence.
Y'all would make a perfect match.
-Miss Dorothy. -He looks like Tyler Perry.
"Hellur."
And loves the Lord just like him, too.
I love that. Can I get an "amen"?
Amen.
Let me know if y'all need anything else.
We're running out of plates back there.
Why is it so wet back here? I'm about to break my damn neck.
I'm doing my best!
-Okay, Joe. -I'm sorry.
The dishwasher's broke.
I got to dry these bitches by hand.
You know the steam cycle can be a little finicky.
-You got to get on back there... -Yeah, I know.
I've tried everything.
All I'm saying is last time I did it, I had to go
-into the back back. -Yeah, I'm in the back back.
Yeah, but, man, that's...
Look, I'm not trying to stop you from what you're doing,
but the button you...
I fixed it.
-Okay. Okay. -I fixed it.
You might have did something.
I fixed it.
I'm all right.
Man, I was talking about
the handle in the back.
You okay, Joe?
I think I shit my pants.
I'm not built for this.
Neither was that wall.
Don't look at me like that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I had to get a jump from Shameeka.
Then they put a fucking roadblock up on La Brea.
I had to go all the way around. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.
I didn't forget. I just was going through mad shit.
I swear to God.
For real, I am sorry.
I-I wasn't trying to be...
Because, actually, you're on time.
I got off at 7:00.
-Damn. -I got you good, huh?
You know me so well.
And I still got you this.
♪ That's my girl ♪
-♪ Yes, I'm your girl ♪ -Extra cheese?
Yes, and I really shouldn't have done it
because you gonna blow up the bathroom later.
Well, don't worry about me. I'mma be fine.
Two kisses up to God, and I'll be straight.
What does that have to do with your stomach?
-This is not... -God heals all things.
Girl, you're lactose intolerant.
Tummies included, tummies included.
You need to pray more. That's your fucking problem.
Okay, Ms. Jones, tell me why you're
the perfect candidate to be a corporate franchise manager.
I think I'm the perfect candidate bec...
Ah! Don't say you think. Say you are.
Okay.
Well, sir, I am the perfect candidate,
because I've served
-many an omelet... -Mm-hmm.
I have dealt with many customers.
Drunk, high, sleepy... you name it.
I've opened. I've closed.
I created the wheelchair section.
And made sure that the store was ADA compliant.
Damn! Bitch, you should've had about ten Norms by now.
Girl, I got to work my way up.
People at this level have degrees,
and I still have 15 credits left.
I'm just happy that they let me apply.
Uh, first off, greedy.
Second off, that's what they want you to think, okay?
They can't control you when you know your worth.
-Honey, it's in here. -Okay, okay.
Have you ever seen your manager do anything you cannot do?
-No. -Exactly.
They need to stop putting all that work on my girl
without the proper promotion, okay?
You been that girl!
-Been that girl. -Okay.
You know, you got to walk in your purpose.
It's like Keshawn always say,
"If you got the biggest dick in the room,
"you got to swing that shit."
Girl, why are we always talking about Keshawn's funky-ass dick?
Um, it's not funky. It's mine.
And second off, he be dropping gems.
Pee-ew!
You're gonna be fine.
You got this. I already put up a prayer.
You know I got the direct line to the ancestors.
Well, girl, they're not listening.
You gave the rent to Uche, right?
Yeah, he got the money. We straight.
Good. Last thing we need is him banging on the door again.
Not to worry.
You know this gonna take a minute.
Go in, and I'll find a spot.
Thanks, pookie.
Damn, Fabian.
What happened?
Uche kicked me out this morning.
It was all bad.
Uche can't cut nobody no break.
Didn't your grandma just die?
She ain't even in the ground yet.
An eviction's gonna fuck up my credit.
I can't afford to live anywhere else.
Your life is lifing.
Uche know he wrong.
Sorry, man.
Hey, you want to buy my grandma's vintage speaker?
Ah, no. I think you should hold on to all your memories.
It'll be a'ight.
Maybe somebody want to buy this speaker or my vinyls?
I got some good vinyls.
Oh. Hey, ladies.
You want to buy a bucket hat for a buck?
-Mama Ruth! -It's open.
Music's so loud.
Hey, Mama.
You got some orange juice?
Yeah, should be some over there.
Hey, Dreux, isn't your interview today, baby?
-Yeah, not till 4:00, though. -Now, you're gonna do good.
Hey, did you hear?
Girl, we about to get us a white neighbor.
I ain't never seen no white people in The Jungles.
-You know Jameel be lying. -No, they do exist.
I have seen it with my own two eyes.
Chile, I saw one with a cat in a stroller.
I was done.
Yeah, well, they ain't moving into this raggedy building,
I can tell you that.
Morning, Mama Ruth.
Hey, Maniac.
Handle that shit.
Sup?
It's my...
Day started early.
I'm a little sleepy.
Can I get them honey buns?
Oh, uh...
Behind you. I just... I didn't want to reach back there.
Oh.
You mean the sweet ones.
Not that mine aren't sweet.
-That was weird. -I'll just go ahead.
I'll... slide out your way.
♪ Electric slide ♪
You want it?
Oh. I mean, yeah.
Thank you, Mama Ruth.
I'll catch you later.
All right. Thank you, baby.
See you around.
Place is small, so you...
Damn, girl. Are you okay?
I mean, I thought you was having a stroke.
I couldn't understand a word you was saying.
Shit, I started feeling like
my honey buns needed to be split open.
Uh, Okay.
I am not worried about that boy.
I don't do the streets.
And he been trouble since we were kids.
Yeah, well, that boy is a grown-ass man now.
A grown man that would choke you to death.
Yeah, well, it just depends on how he does it.
A lot of information is happening here
-that I don't need to know. -Mm-hmm.
Thank you. Love you.
Good luck, baby. No more night shifts!
Hey.
-Hey. -What's up, girl?
Mm-hmm.
No, he ain't finna...
-So, what are we gonna do? -The boho knotless braids.
-That is avant-garde. -Jameel!
And what the fuck are you doing?
Girl, watch your goddamn mouth.
First of all, who you talking to?
I know you're not gonna try me on the first,
knowing damn well I'm with a paying client.
-You do have cash, right? -Yeah.
You are so dirty!
You told me you were gonna finish my hair this morning.
Can you please go inside and we can handle this later?
I'm so sorry. This is so ghetto.
This is ghetto?
Then what is this?
-Damn. -Yeah. You see this, girl?
Unprofessional!
You know what's professional? An updo.
Wrap that shit in a ponytail and go.
But you ain't even dipped the ends.
If you don't go, I'mma tell Uche
you broke the intercom.
I'm not joking with you, Dreux.
-Wow. Wow. -I have business to do.
All right, let me just finish your head.
You know, folks be acting crazy
on the first.
What?
Hold up, Peanut died?
Hell, yeah. King Lolo got him.
But why?
Said he looked at him.
Like, wrong?
No.
Just looked at him.
Damn.
Did you hear what happened to Peanut? Oh!
Oh, my God.
-Girl! -Please.
Girl, why is Keshawn's stuff
all over the damn place?
Girl, and why he always got some new shoes?
With what income?
Oh, my God. It's like three pairs. You gassing.
Girl, it's an obstacle course in here.
We been saying we're trying to exercise more.
Every time we stumble, we get more steps.
I mean, really? On your paintings?
Why? The floor's right here.
He said the floor is dirty.
Okay? And fuck this painting.
It's not even that good. Who cares?
You say that about all of 'em.
I mean, how do you expect for your artwork
to get into MoMA if you treat 'em like doormats?
The universe is going to guide me
-where I'm supposed to go. Okay? -Oh, boy.
Damn!
Damn. It's a big one.
Uche gotta fix this, man. It's dangerous.
Damn. He got to fix the windows, the walls,
the nails on the floorboard.
Hey.
Can y'all... keep it down?
Excuse me?
You know, I'm just saying, we already got three people
living in one space, right?
We got to be a little bit more thoughtful around here.
Is that motherfucker wearing my robe?
I mean, you mad?
What's up, baby?
-Happy anniversary. -Mm.
Anniversary for what?
Um, that's six months
since me and Alyssa been living together.
Oh, has it already been six months?
That's funny. I remember when it was supposed to be six days.
That's not nice. Be nice.
Keshawn is right... We should all be more thoughtful.
And, you know, since we're taking requests,
could you get your goddamn shoes off the floor?
-Are you done? -No, I've got more.
You know, Dreux,
one of the homeys asked me about you the other day,
to my, like, divine surprise, but I was like...
"Nah."
I'mma-I'mma go lie down.
You're not helping my case.
Get some rest.
And a... And a brush, too.
-Can I have the robe? -What?
Please, can I have the robe?
Oh, yeah.
Sorry about that.
What in the Medusa?
Girl, I almost turned to stone.
I feel bad for even looking. My apologies,
but it's all making sense.
-I know. -You got to resist.
I can't. I tried.
He can make it wave at me.
But he's taking advantage. He can't keep staying here
and not pitching in.
Uche already want to get us up out of here,
and he apparently moving white people in.
Okay, it's a problem. I'm gonna fix it.
I'm gonna talk to him. I got it.
You just got in from the night shift.
Just go rest.
Talk to him.
Is Jameel gonna finish your hair?
Girl, the fight we just got into...
I don't think we're gonna ever speak again.
Ooh.
Alyssa, get the damn door!
Okay, okay.
Okay.
Motherfucker, what you want...
Oh, uh...
Hi, Uche.
You look real alopecious today.
Do you know what happens to people in my country
who do not pay their rent?
You're expecting me to know what happens
when people don't pay their rent in your country? I don't...
Give me my money so I can go.
Oh, I think there's some kind of confusion,
because Alyssa gave you your money.
But can we talk about this stank-ass water situation?
She did not pay me.
Yes, she did. She told me.
Do I look like a man who misplaces money?
No.
She is a liar.
And so are you.
I am going home by six of the clock today.
If I don't have my rent by then, you and your friend will join
that hairy, small man on the curb.
-Wait... Uche. -I mean it. I mean it.
No more late rent, Dreux.
No more.
Oh, goddamn.
Alyssa?
Alyssa!
Alyssa.
Yo, Dreux, you-you got to relax.
I mean, honestly, you're like this
every single time that I see you.
I'm worried about your blood pressure.
Where's Alyssa?
Oh, she-she in there. She's really tired, though.
-Okay. -'Cause of the intercourse.
I thought it was because she's carrying your ass.
So funny.
So Keshawn blew your backbone out, too?
What?
Girl, I came in here to talk to him about moving out,
and then... I don't know what happened.
I got to work this shit out.
I need to creatively exercise.
-You need an exorcism. -Yeah-huh.
Girl, why is Uche at the door saying
he doesn't have his rent money?
That's a lie. He has it.
Are you sure?
Because you know he doesn't play about his shit, Alyssa.
Yes, bitch, I'm sure. Keshawn said he gave it to him.
Alyssa.
You did not give Keshawn our rent money.
What if I did?
You playing, right?
Tell me you playing, or I'mma beat your ass.
What? Calm down.
I'mma call him in here right now,
-and it'll be clear. -Come on, call him.
Keshawn.
Mm-hmm.
Keshawn!
Wasn't that nigga just here?
Oh, shit.
Hey!
Damn!
You think he heard us talking about him?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Girl, Keshawn took our rent and dipped.
Why would you give him the money, Alyssa?
Girl, you need to call him up on the phone
and tell him to get back here A-fucking-SAP.
Calm down. I'm calling him right now.
He knew how to clean this whole time.
Probably just forgot to drop the cash off.
He's an entrepreneur.
-He's doing like 50,000... -Just call him!
I'm calling.
Ugh. I don't get it. How he remember to take
all 500 pair of his shoes but not his phone?
I forgot. I stole one while he was asleep. He has two.
I'm not even gonna unpack that right now.
We need to find this bum-ass nigga before he spends up
all our money on parlays. Where would he be?
Girl, I don't know. Can't you tell I'm lost?
Girl, if we don't get this money to Uche by 6:00 p.m.,
we're gonna be on the curb with Fabian.
Like, do you know the passcode?
-Shit, let me try. -Ah.
Let me work my magic.
I'm trying to channel something.
Nothing. I tried everything.
His birthday, my birthday, his ex's birthday,
his favorite sex positions. 66, 69, 99, 469...
469? How you do that?
It's basically like a backwards push-up into the pussy.
I could show you better than I can tell you.
That's okay.
I'm gonna go get dressed, and we gonna get some help.
Me, too.
I did not need this shit today.
Hey. Shameeka, what's going on?
Girl, new neighbors.
Ooh! Shooter, no!
Sorry.
-Hi. -Welcome to the neighborhood.
-Thank you. -Damn, that was quick.
Uche bringing this bitch cookies.
-What? -Oh, hell, no.
My crew, right here.
Front and center.
So, um... the kids can't have no cookie?
Oh, my God! I'm obsessed with these matching outfits.
Hello, children. Would you like a cookie?
Well, don't be scared, chile.
Go up there and get y'all a cookie.
Take a fucking cookie.
-Thank you. -Thank you.
Let me know if you need anything.
I-I definitely will. Thank you.
Oh, no, Shooter.
Excellent.
-Excellent. -Okay.
Um...
Hello, everyone.
I'm Bethany, and this is Shooter.
I actually rescued him a few months ago from around here.
I think he's having a little PTSD,
-but... -Oh.
I'm sure he'll settle in just fine.
Just like me. So, uh...
Thanks for welcoming us to Baldwin Village.
What's Baldwin Village?
Nice to see ladies my age.
-Hey. -Welcome to the neighborhood.
What's good to eat around here?
Oxtails, grits, greens, yams, Tam's, M&M'S.
A lot of shit.
-I'll send you a list. -Okay.
Um, I am right here if you guys ever want to have
-a girls' night. -Oh.
A little "prosecco and pals" situation.
Come on, drinks.
Okay.
Bye.
-I like your dog. -Holla at your girl.
See? See? What'd I say? Didn't I say it?
I be talking, but y'all don't be listening.
Y'all better enjoy this shit while you can.
So you really just gonna braid
everybody else hair today in my face.
Yep. Well, they confirmed on my booking site.
You know I'm in high demand.
Besides, we got bigger fish to fry.
Let me see this hair. Yeah, it look nice.
-Did you comb out the middle? -Jameel.
You want me to roller-set the ends?
No. We want you to break into this phone.
Oh, my God, shut up. I got a client here.
Keep your mouth down. You know I don't do that no more.
Who phone?
That fine homeless boyfriend?
Uh, why he got to be homeless?
Have you been to his home?
His apartment was flooded when we met.
Oh, how convenient.
You know what, you should get on Tinder, find you a good man.
A good, housed man with a roof.
He is housed.
Ah-ah.
-Stay on task. -Come on.
Hundred dollars.
-A hundred dollars? -Hundred dollars.
-Do you take IOUs? -You didn't even do her hair.
It's the least you could do.
Bitch, is this Berniece the Bully?
He gonna cheat and steal in the same motherfucking day?
Like Big Booty Berniece? Stay on Coco?
How they know each other?
Girl, apparently, they met at the park.
I wasn't even gonna say nothing to her
until I collected more information.
I'm not even that type of bitch.
Period. So, so, what happened?
It was about a week ago.
Allegedly.
So, Big Booty Bitch-Ass Bully Berniece
was up at Jim Gilliam
being thirsty, looking parched. You know the usual.
What? How do you know all this?
Jameel nosy ass. He said he saw the whole thing.
As Jameel tells it, when she likes your man,
she'll take him and stop at nothing to keep him.
Damn.
They did all that in front of the kids.
Girl, allegedly.
I don't even know if I believe all that ice cream shit, though.
You know Jameel be putting twenties on tens.
I see why you stole his phone.
What time is it?
He with that bitch right now.
-Let's go over there. -Okay.
'Cause we need to get our money back ASAP.
Girl, we can't park here.
I'm finna go get this bitch.
Oh, they killing niggas for sure in here.
Tumbleweave.
This don't even make no damn sense.
I told you my mom's got arthritis.
What the fuck? You...
Girl, you just gonna let him take my damn door?
Mm-hmm -You a heartless bitch.
-Pay the rent. -That's okay.
God is on my side.
I be praying doors be open around this motherfucker.
Shit.
Look.
There she go right there.
All right. I got a idea.
Go around the back. Go around the back.
I'll find a way in.
Looking good, shorty.
Gonna get on through y'all, okay?
You smell that?
Smell like body spray.
Mm. That smells
-good enough to eat. -I'm gonna pass you.
Better not have no man. I know that much.
I don't even like men.
Girl.
You took forever.
A little spooky-ooky down there.
How you been? It's been so long.
Smell good. Remind me of my uncle.
-Who are you? -Your friend.
You don't remember?
-Bitch, I don't know you. -Girl.
All the fun we done had.
Let me remind you.
Got your ass.
I remember the way you would mob in a room.
I'm like, "Whew, that girl is bold.
"You know, she just take shit."
Okay, nigga.
I mean, you inspired me.
Look, I'm up for a promotion right now,
and when I walk in that room, I'm channeling you.
-I mean, I am that "B." -Okay.
-And been that "B." All right. -Been that "B."
-Alyssa? -Shut your fucking mouth.
Shut it.
Remember them high school dances,
grinding to Pretty Ricky?
Girl, niggas be drooling over you.
That's how I'm trying to be.
Wait, you was on the dance team?
Girl, yup. Yup. That was me in the back,
over there at Crenshaw. Crenshaw.
-At Crenshaw. -Pass it to you.
I went to Dorsey.
What are you, stealing from me?
No, nigga, you stealing from me.
You were supposed to take the rent money to Uche,
but instead you in another bitch bed.
No! That, um...
And where the fuck is the money?
-Right. That's what I said. -Yeah.
Dorsey Dons with Miss...
-Hammersam. -Hale.
I-I invested it, for me and you.
You know, I was gonna surprise you about it,
but actually... I'm so glad you here.
Um, stay right there. Don't go.
Back before they was calling you Big Booty,
when there was barely a booty.
You had some peanuts on your back.
Ass been fat.
Right.
So I don't know what the fuck you talking about.
Oh, right. Right.
Who the fuck are you?
This-This my new T-shirt line. Yeah!
I'm going for a more, like,
you know, a high-end quality fabric.
Baby, listen to this.
-It's acrylic. -"Cucci"?
Feel on that.
Shit feel highly flammable, nigga.
Good stuff is flammable. That's high quality.
Are you stupid? This is more important than a place to live?
The only reason why I borrowed the money-- The loan...
is because I just needed
a little bit of bread to get going,
you know what I'm saying?
But I'mma flip these, then I'mma give it right back to you, baby.
-You gonna flip these? -Times ten.
-Stop! What are you... -Lying ass!
-What the fuck? -Wait. Wait.
-What the fuck is... -Hold up!
I barely know what she looks like.
I swear to God, I only hit it from behind.
-You lied to me. -Who the fuck are you?
Motherfucker, I'll...
Alyssa, run. Come on!
Shit.
It's a damn villain's lair.
Fucking snake.
-Is she coming? -Girl, I don't know.
Keep going!
Where the fuck is my car?
Girl, I told you not to fucking park here.
Shit.
Come on!
Oh, my God.
Alyssa, run faster.
I'm trying!
Shit.
Oh, damn!
What the fuck?
Come on.
She needs some milk.
I'm fine!
-Just let me-- -I'm fine!
Nigga.
That ain't even hurt.
-Shit! -That's what she gets.
-Walk it off, girl. -Damn. Ooh!
-Oh, y'all think that was bad? -Yeah!
Hmm? Y'all think that was bad?
Watch what I do to them hoes!
I can't fucking run no more.
I-I can't fucking run.
-I can't fucking run no more. -Damn.
You think she okay?
She straight.
She strong.
Yeah, if we make a loop,
take Hillcrest, we can get back to Uche,
give him the money and just lay low till the interview.
I ain't got the money.
What?
Keshawn spent it.
On a fucking T-shirt line.
Why would you give the money to Keshawn?
Damn.
I'm sorry.
Listen, we can't focus on the past right now.
We got to focus on the future. We don't have the money.
We just got to make the money.
We got to make the money by 6:00? $1,500?
Not to mention I got the interview at 4:00.
Alyssa, come on, man.
I should be getting my hair done,
getting my mind right.
You look great to me.
You got to have faith.
Gonna be all right.
It'll work out.
It don't just work out.
We need a plan. You need a plan, man.
Is that what I think it is?
No, I don't want to trust you any longer.
-That's not even that bad. -What?
Just watch.
What the hell are you talking about?
Just hear them out. Hear what they got to say.
Don't do it, ladies.
Don't do it.
It's a trap.
-Don't do it. -Girl, see, this is...
-And it's a cycle. It's a cycle. -This is bad energy
-sent to distract you. -It keep happening.
-It's a cycle. -You have to stay focused.
Once you go in, you can't get out.
-Evil spirit, begone. -It's a trap and a cycle.
Lose your job to a robot?
Oh, Jesus.
Check not come?
Car break down?
Whatever it is, we're here.
We won't embarrass you by asking too many questions.
We trust we'll get our money back
one way or another.
Here at Payday Whenever, we gotcha, and we'll getcha.
Come on, let's sit down.
References?
Hey, listen to this.
"If you find yourself struggling to procure repayment funds,
"here are a few useful ideas.
"Number four. Personal intimacy contractor."
That sound like ho-ing to you?
She look like she went into debt ho-ing.
Look at that.
Girl, these are bounties.
-Is that legal? -That can't be legal.
There's still time. Get out.
I wish he would leave us the hell alone.
You're wasting your lives. You're two beautiful ladies.
-Wasting our lives? -Get out!
Run!
Number 47!
Come on.
-Forty-seven! -We heard you.
-The hell she yelling for? -Jesus.
-Forty-seven! -We heard you, ma'am!
Uh, well, walk faster.
Yeah, so sorry I couldn't get you another chair.
They don't really like you sitting down.
Uh, look.
W-Why you taking a picture?
Just in case.
So, you want a loan?
-Yes. Thank you. -Yes.
My business associate here has just
-run into some unexpected... -Okay.
Occupation.
Uh, I'm an artist.
I paint. I do all mediums.
That's like oil paint, nails, houses, inner, outer.
Little bit of makeup. I did the MAC counter, but the back.
-Yeah. Oh. -It was some other shit,
but I... I got far.
Uh, I thought you gave loans to anybody.
Yeah, anybody with some proof of income.
I mean, do you have an invoice for your... ...art?
-You don't got to be mean. -I'll work with you.
What about Uber? SSI? SSDI?
What you mean, like PPP or HBO or...
Alimony? Child support? We will take child support.
No, no child, no ring.
-I'm fuckboy-free. -Mmm.
-Now I am. -Well, in that case, 48!
-Okay, wait, wait, wait. Wait. -48!
-Wait. Um... -Uh-huh.
-What are the interest rates? -There.
Damn. I thought that was the year of establishment.
Mm-mm.
If you don't have the money this month,
you're not gonna have it next month.
-Get out. -Ugh.
-Is he here every day? -Please!
What did y'all do to this nigga here?
He is so negative.
Do you want the loan or not?
I do work at a diner.
I'm a waitress. I make a steady paycheck.
Okay, fine, yeah. I'm gonna just need your I.D.
so I can run your credit check.
Full disclosure. My credit score is currently a little...
No, no, doesn't matter.
As long as you have a job, arms and a leg,
the system will approve you.
-Here you go. -Thank you.
Are you having a heart attack?
-Oh, my God, ma'am. -Are you okay?
Are you? I've never seen a credit score this low.
-Well, I... you know, I... -Oh, my God.
When I went to business school
-I had to get a loan, and... -Look at it.
I'm, you know, trying to figure out
how to make everything back.
Oh, so bad. This score is so bad.
-I know, I know. -You got problems.
-Oh. -You act like
we in Beverly Hills or somewhere.
Girl, you in the hood, too.
Listen, listen. I have an idea.
What if we combine our scores?
Her and I have been living together for se--
We've been together for seven years.
That's common-law marriage in any other state.
So we're trying to give you an opportunity
to embrace something innovative.
-Oh, wow. -Yes. Me and my wife...
"Wife."
...would like to get a loan together.
Lesbians.
Congratulations.
-Progressive. -Yeah.
Great for the company. Great for us. It's a good look.
No, no, no, no, no. Not a chance.
And you know what? You guys are old.
Way too old not to understand how credit works.
-What? -Ladies, just get it together.
-Sweetie, you get it together. -"Get it together"?
-Is that AAVE? -You know what? Denied.
Why are you acting so uppity?
You ain't nothing but a hood rat.
-Denied. -Yeah. You're denied.
-Denied. -You're void. You're void.
Denied.
-Let's go. -She gonna kick your ass.
And I'm gonna let her.
You lucky she holding me back.
You gave me a good laugh, ma'am.
We're above this. We're above it.
I'm so high, I'm in the sky.
-Oh, my God. -I'm so blessed,
I'm not stressed.
-Beautiful, beautiful. -Blessed.
Beautiful couple.
Don't ever eat these chips again,
because your breath stinks! Come on!
Oh. Wear deodorant.
Oh. Uh, Just kidding. I didn't flinch at all, boo.
Number 48!
Forty-eight!
I don't even know what we're gonna do next.
Looks like you made it out alive.
Thank goodness.
Y'all don't want to know what happened to me.
-No, we don't. -My name is Lucky, by the way.
Thank you. We're gonna walk this way.
Hey!
Hey. Guess what?
I had 15 loans with them.
Fifteen! I finally just gave up.
No need to workin' a job. They garnish all your wages.
-Damn. -Right.
They hunt you, literally.
It's perverse.
I mean, are you sure
you should be driving after that hit?
Why don't we just chill? I...
Nigga, I got knocked on my ass
in front of everybody.
'Cause of these bitches.
Nah. Text them hoes.
Find out where they went.
How much are we talking exactly per pint?
Well, we actually can pay you $70 per pint,
and you gonna get an apple pie voucher for Church's Chicken.
-Apple pie? -Hell, yes.
Okay. $140. That's a start.
-You had me at "pie." -All right, now,
we can only take one of you at a time,
so which one is going first?
I'm tough.
-I'll do it. -Yeah, sign right there, sis.
Take it easy on me here.
Needles make me a little squeamish.
Join the club, girl. Today's my first day.
But we gonna get through it.
Okay, look, it's fine. Just focus.
Breathe.
Focus on the money.
-Nothing matters... -The money.
-...but the money. -But the money.
But the money.
Girl, no.
Girl, fuck Keshawn.
His ass on "read."
Anyway, after all of this is over,
we gonna get Hot Cheeto martinis.
Not the Hot Cheeto martinis.
Ow, fuck!
Oh. Ooh.
Let me try that again.
-Uh... -Just breathe.
Breathe.
I did it.
Ooh! Okay.
Now we gonna just let it do its thing,
and I'll be back in 30 minutes.
You're not even taping it right. What was your previous job?
Stripper.
-Anyway... Are you okay? -I hate that lady.
I'm asking because there's a very comfy lounge chair.
Go.
I'll just be here, saving lives.
Just imagine the money. Dream of it. With every drop.
Ooh.
Please, Father God, let this next one be rich...
He look like he like his mama too much.
Skin too shiny. Ooh.
Okay, glasses. I like that.
Okay...
If I donate more blood, will I get more money?
Do it.
Oh, my God.
Still alive.
Still alive?
The fuck?
You could get more money,
but I don't think you got more blood.
I gave four bags.
-Come on, dummy! -I told her on not to do it.
Get this shit out of her.
Wait, what are you... Oh, my God!
Oh, God.
Put that back! Ugh, it's in my mouth!
-Girl. Unsanitary! -Oh, my God!
Will you...
My bags!
This my first day. You gonna get me fired!
You should've been fired!
I was planning on wearing this wig tonight!
What the...
What happened in here?
Do we still get the money?
No blood, no money, but...
I can give you
-these apple pie vouchers. -Vouchers?
And also,
there's a clothes donation box outside in the hallway.
You look like you need it.
Thank you.
Do I still have a job?
Oh, my God.
"Water pipes busted. Use drive-through."
If it ain't one thing, it's another.
Hello?
Hello!
Yo, who are you yelling at?
Uh, welcome to Church's Chicken.
How can I help you?
We have these apple pie vouchers
and since we can't go inside,
we're hoping we can get the honey butter biscuits instead,
for the inconvenience.
-Whatever. -So, is that a yeah?
I mean, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's cool.
All right. See you at the window.
Girl, this food gonna give me exactly what I need.
Okay. Listen.
Don't trip.
Your boo is behind us.
Don't look!
Let me get the chicken sandwich.
-Okay, just fix your posture. -He cannot see me like this.
Not today!
Straighten your back. And stick the booty out. Lift your chin.
Look alive.
Not frightened. Alive.
Girl, he can't even see the front of me.
He can feel it from the back.
But walk normal.
You look like a... a struggling bird.
-Please just... -Girl! I can't do this.
My ass has no charisma.
No, it does. Tons. Full of charisma.
Ready?
-Hi, how you doing? -Hi, y'all. hey.
Thank you so much for being accommodating.
-Give me the shit. -Uh-huh.
-You got them vouchers? Yeah. -Mm-hmm.
Quickly as you can, sir. Put a rush on it.
-Oh! Come on, man! -Oh, my gosh!
He-He just stole our food!
The Biscuit Burglar.
Man, he be doing that shit sometimes, man.
Wait, you ain't gonna call the police?
I mean, we all stealing from somebody.
Y'all stole them biscuits with them apple pie vouchers.
-You told us it was... -Hey, that nigga gonna
fuck around and get smoked doing that dumb shit.
-By who? -You all right in there?
Oh, yeah, we good, man. He been at this for weeks.
Come on, hop in.
I'll get y'all something.
-For real? -Yeah.
Oh, you a fucking angel.
-Get in the front with your man. -What you mean?
Get in the front.
Keep it sexy.
Where y'all coming from dressed like that?
Uh, gymnastics.
-Thank you so much. -Here you go.
Thank you so much for the food.
Shit.
Ah!
-Smells... so good. -Mmm.
Oh, my God.
Mmm. Goddamn.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait.
You got to get into this, baby girl. Mmm.
Tear it. Oh!
It's really that good?
Yes. It's the honey with the hot sauce.
Just a winning combination.
Let me get some.
-You want me to feed it to you? -Yeah.
Mmm.
-See? -Goddamn, that shit good.
I won't steer you wrong.
-Damn, y'all was hungry, huh? -Yeah.
We just came from the blood bank.
You just did that just 'cause?
Um...
Yeah. We just, you know... we love giving back, you know.
I respect that, actually.
Yeah, I been donating ever since
I lost my homey a few years back.
He, uh...
He got shot.
Wow. I'm so sorry.
That's very admirable, though.
You got some...
What, I got something on my face and you just staring at it?
-Help me, help me. -I got you.
Just get...
It's better?
Perfect.
Mmm.
You have soft hands.
Okay. I'mma leave y'all two alone.
-I got some things to handle. -Wait, but why? Why?
I'll come with you.
Girl, you stay. Okay?
I'mma go finish the mission.
The mission.
Why are you winking at me?
You need to relax before your big interview.
You've done enough. When it's all over,
-we'll get Hot Cheeto martinis. -Oh.
♪ Hot Cheeto martini You know you wantalini ♪
Wait. Wait, what is a Hot Cheeto martini?
It's just something that we used to say when we were kids.
We thought it would give us liquid courage,
but we actually have never done it.
-Take care of my friend. -Uh, will do.
I have no idea where she's going.
Yeah, she seemed turnt up.
Ah, shit. Hold up.
Yo, hello?
Wait, yo, what happened?
Yo, slow down, slow down.
All right, nigga, I'm on the way to pick it up.
Look, I'm on the way.
Hey, man, I got to make a move. Put your seat belt on real fast.
Wait, I've barely fastened it!
Tore this place up.
Hot-ass messes.
Sorry. I don't mean to talk shit about your cousins.
It's cool. I mean, we're second cousins anyway, so...
Excuse you.
I knew these hoes was broke.
A little apple pie, for your little bitch.
Second cousins, twice removed.
What a weird-ass day.
So, uh, why do they call you Maniac?
You seem pretty calm to me.
I used to be real turnt up.
Just doing a bunch of dumb shit.
How turnt up, on a scale from one to prison?
Nah. I ain't never go to prison.
I did some time in juvie, though.
Like, juvenile hall?
It ain't that bad.
Yeah.
Yeah, they sent me over there, and then...
Then they transferred me out to this-this program...
Hey, you want to get that?
Hello?
You got to come get your girl,
or she 'bout to die.
Me, too. Who is this?
I'm fine, Lucky. Leave her alone.
-She's with her man. -Wait, who the hell is Lucky?
I tell you who ain't lucky.
Your friend, if you don't get your ass over here and pronto.
But where are y'all at?
West and 54th.
But you ain't heard that from me.
All right. You could drop me off somewhere?
-Everything good? -I don't know.
Say less.
Welcome to Church's Chicken.
What can I get you?
Yeah. Did two girls come by earlier
with free apple pie vouchers from the blood bank?
I mean, telling people's business
ain't on the menu, but, uh, I guess.
You see where they went?
I mean, if I was telling people's business
instead of standing on it,
I'd be like, "They hopped in a black Mercedes and dipped."
But that's if I was telling people's business, though.
Hey, hey.
I mean, long as we're here,
we might as well order something.
You know, keep our minds sharp.
-Right? -Hmm.
-Yeah. -What you want?
Yeah, let me get the... a sweet treat.
Two apple pies, to be specific.
And some jal-a-peno bombers.
It's "jalapeño." It's like you hollering at the peño.
How much is that?
Yeah, hey, don't forget to ask for the...
Honey butter biscuits in there?
Got that honey butter biscuit, man.
-Hey. -Oh, he strikes again!
-Hell, no, nigga. -Berniece,
whoa, whoa, whoa! Berniece, stop, stop, stop!
It's just a couple of honey butter...
Oh!
What?
Thank you.
I don't know why y'all keep fucking with me.
Fuckers.
Alyssa, what the fuck?
Hey, Dreux!
-It ain't worth it! -Alyssa!
Alyssa, what the hell is you doing up there? Get down!
I'mma go see if somebody got a ladder or something.
Somebody threw some retro Jordans up here, bitch.
You know how much that's worth?
-Look. -So what?
You about to die. Get down!
Cover up. Your lady bits are showing.
Lucky, how the hell did she get up there?
-I'mma have to go get her. -No, don't do that.
I done seen fat squirrels fry up there.
We're both just too big for it.
Shit, shit, shit.
This is King Lolo's hood.
You don't want them kind of problems.
He ain't gonna miss some random pair of shoes on a power line.
I'm just saying, he ain't screwed too tight.
Take heed!
He the one that threw 'em up here.
He must ain't want 'em.
Alyssa, be careful!
You take heed.
Somebody take heed.
Heed is not being taken.
Catch.
Got it.
-It's getting hot. -Oh, shit.
Bitch, you about to get electrocuted!
It's gonna be shea butter smell all over the hood.
Someone call 911.
Oh! Hell, no!
She didn't take heed.
Oh, my God, I thought I killed you.
All right, don't be mad,
but you passed out and I panicked.
Bitch, are we in an ambulance?
That's a $2,000 bill.
We got to get the hell up out of here.
-Ma'am. -We're not jumping out
of a moving vehicle.
Ma'am, can you please lay back down?
It's not moving now.
-Come on! -Ma'am. Ma'am.
God.
-Hey! -Ma'am...
Ma'am, we're trying to help you!
We have your information. We know where to send the bill.
We already took you halfway.
I need a gym membership and a better shirt.
Girl, I thought you was a goner.
You have no idea how scary that was.
You'll never be able to get rid of me, bitch.
Even if I was dead.
You gonna haunt me?
You know I can't go full-time on the afterlife.
I got to go half and half, back and forth.
-A little hippity-hop? -Anyway, wait till I flip these.
Girl, don't nobody want them dusty-ass J's.
They tore up from the floor up.
Fuck all that.
Look at how much we're gonna make on these shoes.
Is that for real?
-Are you with me now? -How do you even know that?
Because Keshawn is obsessed with Jordans.
Keshawn is obsessed with everything but having a home.
I'm sorry. I-I'm sorry
for all this Keshawn shit.
I know it is all my fault.
-Believe me. -It is what it is.
We are in this together and, uh...
and let's go sell these shoes and get this money.
Yes.
Damn, Dorothy!
Shit like that's got asbestos in it.
"And a symbol of the neighborhood
in which they originate."
How much you think?
-Go big or go home. -Exactly.
That's what I was thinking.
-2,500. -2,500.
What?
It's coming. I got a good feeling about this.
Yeah, you always got a good feeling.
Was I not right about Maniac?
Maniac.
Did he see everything that went down?
Oh, my God, I didn't even get a chance to tell you, girl.
He took control of the whole situation.
He called 911. He knew all the EMTs by name.
It's like, I knew he was gangsta,
but how many people do you have to shoot
to know the EMTs by name?
We got a buyer.
And he's willing to pay full price!
Let's fucking go!
Let's go! I told you!
Girl, calm... calm down. Okay? Because it's 2:55 right now,
I got to go to my interview at 4:00,
and we got to get this money to Uche by 6:00.
Nah, we straight. We got it.
Tell him to meet us right now or the deal's off.
Cash only, Jim Gilliam Park.
Yes. Who are you, Franklin Saint?
Ancestors, come through. Ancestors, come through.
All right. He said, "Cool." Cool.
Let's get it, do it!
-Go! -Yeah!
-Don't doubt me ever again. -Oh, my gosh. Oh. W-W-Wait.
He could be a murderer. This is the Internet.
So I'll do the deal, and you just stand by in the distance
and watch and make sure everything's okay.
I will pack that nigga out.
-I got you. -Okay.
Yeah.
So you say your father wore these, right?
Yes. Yes, sir.
Yeah, he wore 'em every day.
That's why they've got the lived-in aesthetic.
I like that.
I like that a lot. Okay.
Hmm. I could see that, too.
What was his name?
My dad?
-Mm-hmm. -Uh...
Name was Cornelius. Do you want these or...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You said your dad name "was Cornelius."
What...
What happened?
Uh... A-A boating accident.
Your father had a boat accident?
I'm actually on a bit of a time crunch, so if you...
What you mean, Cornelius got into a boat accident?
-What? What? -Let me hook you up real quick.
Get you the real treatment, man.
We just need to, boom, put your foot. Come on. Mm-hmm.
Whoo! Now, that went in like butter.
So clean but dirty 'cause it's vintage!
So, what you got? What you gonna do?
-Are you crying? -It's just,
when I see these and you telling
a story about your dad Cornelius, it just...
But you don't know him.
You don't know the man.
Just reminds me of...
-Hey, man. -...of my father 'cause...
Your father had a incident on a boat.
So did... So did my father and my grandfather,
and my great-grandfather, you know, proverbially speaking.
I know.
No, you don't know. I'm talking about slavery!
We done been through a lot, brother.
Yes, we have.
So, how about this?
You take 'em today, I give 'em to you for 15.
Perfect. Deal.
Motherfucker.
Yeah.
I tricked your ass.
Girl, I can't believe this worked.
You literally got some dusty shoes off a pole,
and we used it to make rent? I mean, what?
We probably could've got more,
but, you know, I messed it up at the end.
But that nigga started crying, and you know men look
so ugly when they cry, so I just cracked.
We could've been homeless, and now we not.
Now we not.
Just like that. Life is looking up for us.
You got to claim it. You gonna get a promotion.
We is not broke.
We gonna live in abundance.
Girl, we can't get this check.
It's 3:30. I-I got to get ready.
I got to get dressed. I got to change.
No, fuck all that. You don't have time for any of that.
You need to roll with this energy right here.
It's fine. You look great.
Girl, I can't go in there looking like
a thick praying mantis.
You look like all this money in my hand and in my pocket.
You look like a ball of light.
Lead them to the promised land. Show us.
♪ Show 'em, lead us, do it ♪
♪ Do it like a dance like I wanna know what it ♪
♪ And turn it up, bop-bop, and then walk, hit it ♪
♪ Walk, do we, do we ♪
♪ Can we go to the office ♪
-♪ Try to get the money ♪ -♪ Walk in, yuh, yuh ♪
Girl, do not flash the bankroll.
I'm sorry. I was trying to motivate you.
-You got too hype. -You know what, get...
Let's get this bus. Come on.
Girl, slow down. You finna work up a sweat.
-I just did your hair. -Girl, it's already 3:57.
You don't want to be right on time. That's giving desperate.
I am desperate.
If I get this job, you and me gonna be good for real.
We won't have to do all this crazy shit anymore.
I'm ready to be a kept woman.
All right.
Hey, hey.
Get out of your head.
You got this.
Your greatness is undeniable.
♪ You're the what, not the... ♪
♪ I'm the one, not the two ♪
♪ You're the what, not the... ♪
♪ I'm the one, not the two ♪
-♪ You're the... ♪ -♪ I'm the one ♪
-♪ Not the... ♪ -♪ Two ♪
Yeah, I love you.
I love you so much.
I'll be over here.
Love you.
Hello. I'll be right back.
Hi, I'm Dreux Jones.
-I'm here for the interview. -Oh. Oh, yes.
Perfect timing.
If you'll follow me, I can lead you back.
Cool.
Go ahead and have a seat.
Shayla and Norman are on their way.
Uh, can I get you anything? Water? Coffee?
I'm okay. Thank you.
Hi. Drex?
Uh, it's actually Dreux.
Oh. Dreux, with an "X."
-Yeah. -Okay.
-That's a new one. -Yeah. You know...
Parents didn't make it easy on you, did they?
Hi, so, so sorry I am late. I had to finish up a call.
-Hi. -I'm Shayla. Nice to meet you.
Wonderful to meet you, too.
Hola, señorita.
Shit, I see you.
You got all the fruits.
How you say "papaya" in Spanish?
Papaya.
Okay. Let me get a little bit of everything.
You want Tajín and chamoy?
The lime. All of that, please.
And do you want a small or large?
I only have enough for the little one,
but I really want the big one.
So, I researched the qualifications on LinkedIn
just to see where I could stand out. Um...
Pretty much anything you can think of, I've done it.
Top to bottom.
And I'm not saying that I know everything,
but I do think that I have the right ingredients
to succeed here.
With you guys' help, of course.
You know, I actually was a waitress here, too.
-You used to wear the Dickies? -Oh, I wore the Dickies.
Yeah, I graduated,
I couldn't find a fancy job, so I bussed tables.
In college, I was a line cook at Denny's. Don't tell anyone.
Okay, so, Dreux, you have all of the restaurant experience.
In fact, you are one of the most experienced
out of all of our applicants, but...
I want to know more about who Dreux is, okay?
What separates you from your competitors?
I'm dedicated.
I care about my customers, and I-I treat them like family.
I want them to feel like
they're having dinner with a loved one...
named Norm.
Uncle Norm.
I work hard.
And I won't give up.
I'll be a great franchise manager.
Here's the little one.
-Hmm. -Muchas gracias.
Gracias. Thank you.
Thirsty-ass nigga, get off my phone.
Let me show you a nigga with a job.
Excuse me. Can you take a picture with me, please,
real quick?
-Uh, okay. -Thank you. Thank you.
-Uh, where would you like me... -Two seconds. Hold this.
-Uh, oh. Oh. -Thank you.
-Say "queso." -Queso.
Like you mean it.
-Queso. -Dame más.
Um...
She just hit me back.
She did?
Where is she?
-I can't... I don't... -Give me the fucking...
Hmm. I know where that is.
Slow down!
And since we're on the subject of mainstays,
you know what we have to talk about, don't you?
-The church crowd. -The church crowd!
-Why are they so mean? -Okay?
The spirit of the Lord should be all over them.
I mean, come on, Esther. You just came from church.
We do our best business on Sundays.
Let's cut 'em some slack.
And it's really because they're hangry,
especially the Baptists.
I mean, they in there surviving on crackers and grape juice.
It's not enough.
They actually need a special Sunday menu.
It's what I'm thinking.
Hmm.
Thank you, Victor.
-Of course. -I'mma call you.
Can you text me those pictures?
You didn't think you was gonna see me again, huh, little bitch?
No. Berniece.
Well, this has been fun, Dreux.
Thank you so much.
Now, we do have other applicants
that we need to interview, but...
I think I can speak for everyone when I say
that you are definitely the type of candidate
that we have always had in mind when we designed this program.
-Yay! -Okay?
-So, for next steps... -...fuck you up,
-dirty bitch! -Uh... Huh.
You remember me? You knew when you was
-in my motherfucking house. -Did you see that?
Gosh, crime has gotten so bad here.
Uh, yeah. It's really on the rise.
You were saying
-about the next steps? -Dreux!
-Uh, are... -I'll fuck you up!
-Dreux! I need help! -D-Don't resist!
-Are they with you? -What?
-Dreux! -No. No.
I've never seen those people in my life.
Dreux, can you hear me?
-Help! -No, don't resist!
-I... -Dreux!
I'm sorry.
Oh.
Don't you ever bring your ass
to my motherfucking house, stanky!
-Hey, get off her. Get off her! -Get off me, bitch!
Get off me, ho!
-Hey! I'm ready. -You hos want to...
-You hos want to get beat? -Hit me! Hit me!
Yes!
Bitch!
Oh, y'all hos got some money.
Yeah, we gonna call this interest
for all the bullshit you bitches put me through today.
And I better not catch y'all on my block.
No, no, no, no, no.
The money.
Not bad, y'all.
Keshawn, bring your ass!
Shayla. Shayla!
Wait, wait.
I know how this looks,
but I can promise you I'm not like that.
Okay, Dreux, you... You need to leave.
No, just please let me explain. I had a crazy day. My...
I tried to sell this man some shoes,
and my girl got electrocuted.
We had to jump out of a ambulance.
Okay, clearly, you are not the girl we are looking for.
I don't get it. I don't get it.
I feel like I'm hanging on by my fingernails,
and every time I think I got some momentum, it's...
I mean, how did they even know we was here?
Like, what the fuck?
Dreux, I...
-Dreux... -Nah.
-No. -I...
Alyssa, tell me
it was the universe that brought them to us.
Tell me it was kismet
or whatever the fuck you be talking about.
Tell me it was anything other than the fact
that you talked to Keshawn.
No, it wasn't like that.
I swear to God it wasn't like that.
-I swear to God. -God.
-Listen. -Do you do it on purpose?
Just tell me, do you do it on purpose?
Seriously, you're a dumbass.
And you and Keshawn deserve each other
because y'all are good for nothing
other than fucking up my life.
That's how you feel? I'm glad you finally said it.
Here you go, trying to deflect.
Typical Alyssa. Take some responsibility.
No, you take some responsibility.
I know exactly who the fuck I am.
I know all my shortcomings.
I never blamed you for any of them.
What's that supposed to mean?
It means it's not my fault you hate your fucking life.
It's not my fault
shit didn't turn out the way you wanted it to.
You plan everything.
I waste so much energy
trying to make you feel better about yourself.
"Come on, Dreux." "Believe in yourself, Dreux."
"Fix your hair, Dreux." You still at a fucking diner.
Least I have a fucking plan.
You don't have a real job!
You-You saved in a ho phone.
You chasing around a nigga
that care more about his fucking shoes than he do you.
He don't love you, he don't like you,
and he sure as hell don't respect you.
Your life is a fucking joke.
Go ahead, answer it.
You already fucked up everything.
You might as well get dicked down for the trouble.
Fuck you.
Hello?
You still got them J's for sale?
No, I'm fresh out.
When I get another pair, you'll be the first to know.
Then we got a problem. See, those was my shoes.
Who is this?
Lolo.
It's King Lolo.
-Nah, nah, don't get quiet now. -Turn it up, turn it up.
Oh, sorry. We're here, we're here. Um...
We're sorry. We didn't know it was you.
Hey.
Shit happens, right? How about this?
How about y'all pay me market price, we call it even?
That's all right. That's cool, that's cool.
Fantastic. Five racks.
$5,000?
Let's say 10:00 tonight.
You and Dreux in The Jungles, right?
What'd I say about getting quiet?
Yeah, sorry. Yes. Yes.
Perfect. Tonight.
10:00 p.m., five racks.
-I'd have it if I was you. -No, no! No!
No, no!
Pull me back up.
No, man.
Pull me back, man.
-No, don't, please! Please! -Drop him!
Wow. Now we're going to die.
You going the wrong way.
There's a fucking crosswalk, bitch.
-Then get to it, bitch! -Fuck you!
You ain't my type.
Uche.
Really?
It's 6:32.
So, what, you just cleared everything out
in the last 32 minutes?
I made an educated guess.
Do you have the rent?
Looks like I was right.
So you just gonna skip the whole eviction process?
Rent is due on the first, Uche.
It's still the first.
-This is illegal. -Fine.
If you can pay in full by 11:59,
I will put everything back inside myself.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
Uche, please. Please.
This is fucked up!
Wow.
That was great negotiating skills.
Did you learn that in business school?
-Fuck you. -Fuck you.
So, what you gonna do?
Just sit here on your ass like you always do?
Wait for King Lolo to come and kill us?
Yeah. I'mma die right here. You go die over there.
It shouldn't have to be this hard.
Hey, guys.
A-Are you having, like, a yard sale or something?
We sure are, Bethany.
Oh. Mind if I, uh, take a peek?
Yeah, that's why we're here, Bethany.
Wow.
This is amazing.
Uh, how much is this?
Oh, girl, you could have that for free.
$300.
Done.
Yeah, this is, um... This is an original.
Alyssa painted it herself.
She actually painted all of them.
You painted this?
Yeah.
-You're incredible. -Mm-hmm. Thank you.
But I'm gonna need you to sign it.
Of course.
Every great artist has to sign their work.
Get over here, Alyssa.
Sorry.
Thank you.
Hey. Do you mind if I tag you in this?
No. Go for it, please.
I-I do brand management. I run a couple of accounts.
This is a lot of followers, Bethany.
What do you say about us doing that, uh,
"prosecco party with your bitches" thing?
-Prosecco party with pals? -Pa-- Prosecco party with pals.
-Yes. -We're the pals!
Yes!
What do you guys think about right here?
Uh, do we like the off-center?
Or is that too off-center?
I love it.
Yeah.
Did you do the renovations here yourself?
Oh, God, no.
I don't even know how to swing a hammer.
It looked like this on the website.
And they even offered me free dog treats.
-Wow. -And, uh, ADT for security.
Mm-hmm. -By the way,
are you guys a little toasty,
or is it just me? 'Cause I can turn on the AC.
Your AC works?
Yours doesn't?
-Uh-uh. -No.
Not the AC, not the water. The ceiling's falling.
I mean, the list goes on.
Oh, I get it now.
Uche's desperate.
Girl, what that mean?
I think he's having money trouble.
He-He's trying really hard to get people to move in here.
Hmm.
Speaking of people with money, uh,
we're actually having a, um, art show tonight.
You mind posting that for us, too?
Tonight?
Mm. It's a pop-up!
What y'all call it.
Pop-up where?
Uh, right here, in the courtyard.
For Alyssa's work?
Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's kind of a, like,
"if you know, you know" kind of thing.
Very members-only. Like... "Shh, don't tell."
I have horrible FOMO.
-Can I come? -Of course.
Yeah, yeah. Just make sure you call all your art friends,
the ones that come from families with money, you know.
-Okay. -Great.
Bethany,
let me holler at my homegirl real quick. Thank you.
And we'll be doing Cash App, Venmo, everything.
Girl, she got crown molding, too.
-Ain't that a bitch? -What are you doing?
Making lemonade!
Girl, if we get enough of these hipster motherfuckers
to buy your art, we'll be able to probably pay back
that lunatic that's trying to kill our ass tonight.
Shit, we make it real big,
we're gonna be able to get the apartment back, too.
Just because one person liked one painting?
That doesn't mean anything.
The painting is good, Alyssa.
All the paintings are good. I've always told you that.
I mean, how many times you gonna tell me to see my worth?
Bitch, now it's you.
"You been her." Remember?
Okay. I'm still pissed at you, but that was sweet.
I'm pissed at you.
Okay, well, after today, you never have to see me again.
Good!
So we do this party, sell this art,
get this money, don't die, and we're done.
Three hours.
Three hours, bitch.
Yeah, that's it.
All right, baby girl, this is about as good as
-it's gonna get in 15 minutes. -Okay, let me see. Oh!
You ate that.
-I like it. -Yeah.
-Got to say, I like it. -Yeah, I did.
Hey, this chili right here, boy.
Wow.
How much for that one?
650.
Cool.
And we will have that wrapped up for you
in a little bit.
Sweet.
Sh...
Dreux?
-Hi, Shayla. -Hey.
-I thought that was you. -I live here.
Oh. Wow. That's crazy.
I actually grew up in The Jungles.
-Really? -Mm-hmm.
So, this is your event?
Yeah.
This is my best friend's work, and I kind of...
kind of helped put everything together, you know.
Got the word out.
Yeah, well, you reached me.
I want to say I'm really sorry about everything that happened.
I feel ashamed and embarrassed.
And I know we don't get these kind of opportunities often.
I just want you to know that I really appreciate
and really admire everything that you're trying to do.
And I'm glad that I even got considered.
Yeah, today was definitely a hot mess.
But, um, you really were the best meeting we had.
Like, seriously.
And... losing fight aside...
I mean, just looking around at this event you put together--
that is very impressive.
So I think there would still be a spot for you if you want it.
What?
-Shayla, thank you so much. -Okay. Whoa, whoa.
Oh, sorry.
Personal space. You know.
It's okay. It is all good.
Look, I'mma head out. But I'mma call you next week.
Okay? All right.
Oh.
Lucky, where you been? I've been looking for you.
What, you got a GPS tracker on us or something?
No. I used to have homing pigeons,
but they were homeless, too,
so they kept flying around, so...
So let me guess...
I'm not supposed to be doing this, either.
No, this is exactly what you're supposed to be doing.
I'm so proud of you.
Like, I found y'all, y'all was junior crackheads,
and now y'all supermodels.
I taught you so much.
Yes, you did.
We did it.
What'd we do?
-We made $5,200! -We're not gonna die?
-We're not gonna die! -We're not gonna die!
Wait. Wait, what?
-Hey, Bethany, girl. -Tell you about it later.
Wait, was that on the table?
Now, if we make the rest of this money,
then we're gonna get the rent, and we ain't got to be homeless.
Girl, I might even get my car out the impound.
Wait, can we circle back to the dying thing?
Is that...
Shit. What time is it?
It's 9:52.
Everybody want to be punctual
when it's time to get into some bullshit.
Okay, look, we just give him the money,
and then we'll be safe.
"Safe"? Th-There it is again.
Oh, no. Not today.
Oh, shit.
Lolo has entered the building,
so I'mma gonna get up out of here.
You can stay if you want to, but I'm out this motherfucker.
Enjoy the chili.
-I don't know about this. -Yeah. I'm out.
-Let's keep the money. -What?
Let's keep the money.
What do you mean "let's keep the money"?
The motherfucker is right there.
I know he's right there, but just stall him.
Girl, stall him for what? We have the money.
And we went through hell to get it.
And we'll die if we don't give it up.
You know what I'm saying.
Didn't you just say you was tired?
Bro, if we give that money to Lolo,
we'll be right back in the same place.
And the next month after that
and the next month after that and the month after that.
Of course, I'm tired, girl. I'm exhausted.
I want to break the cycle, but that's just not us.
Okay? Sometimes people go paycheck to paycheck.
Just like you said.
Trust me.
So, what you gonna do?
Oh.
I think I'm piecing it together.
You know, Bethany, maybe you should go, uh,
check out the refreshment table or something like that.
Okay, well, I have pepper spray.
Trust me.
Thank you.
Please just go home.
Okay.
What the fuck is this gentrification shit?
What's up, Dreux?
Um, grand rising, King. Um, welcome to my humble abode.
The fuck is my chips?
Uh, well, technically, it's not 10:00 yet,
so we got about five more minutes.
I'm here.
So where the fuck is my bread?
If you and your goons could just chill for a little bit,
I promise you my homegirl is on her way back
from the ATM to get you your money.
Look, bitch, I'm trying to be polite.
But you fucking with my gangster.
Well, wait a minute.
Now, damn, what you gonna do?
Shoot me in front of these people?
Shit. You is.
Fuck.
What people?
King Lolo, just don't do nothing crazy, okay?
We have the money.
Just-Just, you know, think about the children.
I don't give a fuck about the goddamn children.
What? Not even infants?
You looking me in my motherfucking eyes?
No, I'm not.
Yo, Lolo!
Uh, Dreux, this is a distraction. Run, bitch!
-Run! -Bitch!
Get 'em, motherfuckers!
Get low!
Go, go, go, go. Come on, come on, come on.
Yeah!
I love this shit.
Quick. Under here.
Get that ass.
Hey, where they go?
Where the fuck they at?
Look around!
I think I can hear their little heart beating.
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
Nah!
Lionel Longfellow,
we've been looking for you.
No, I ain't going back, bitch!
Fuck you!
-The hell was that? -Girl, let's go.
Come on.
-Are you okay? -Yeah.
Fuck. Come on, come on, come on.
I'm so glad they didn't change the locks.
Okay.
Girl, I ain't never seen the cops pull up that fast.
You called them?
Them ain't the cops.
Shit.
-What's all this? -What the fuck, Keshawn?
I just wanted to say that,
Alyssa, you're the only one that ever really believed in me.
And, listen, I-I see that now.
And, look, I... I know how much I fucked up and...
I want-- I want to make it up to you.
By burning all my good candles?
You just summoned, like, 30 demons.
Please get your lying ass out of my house before I call Berniece.
No, no, no, please. Berniece is, um...
I'm scared.
She's strong-willed, and, uh,
she makes me do things that I don't want to do.
I'm not-- I'm not giving up on us right now.
♪ The way you walk The way you talk ♪
Please, I need you to get the hell on.
♪ And, baby, it's you ♪
You fucking bitches called them folks on me.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That wasn't us. That wasn't us.
I'm King fucking Lolo!
Hey, hey, hey, listen. Hey, hey, listen.
I don't even live here.
-This place... -Really?
I'm just saying, this is your...
-Motherfuck-- -Shut the fuck up!
You motherfuckers think this shit is sweet?
-No. -I'mma show you what happen
with people that fuck with me.
Ooh, shit.
Shit.
The motherfucking...
-Universe! -Universe!
I thought he was gonna eat us.
Oh!
Uh-uh.
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Keshawn!
Come on, come on, help me, help me!
-I didn't even do any-- -Fuck.
Uh... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
-Keshawn! -My T-shirts!
Keshawn, stop! How you always make shit worse?
-How am I making it worse? -Get back!
I'm putting it out! What are you talking about?
You're fucking wafting it.
Come on, y'all. We got to go. We got to go.
-Come on! Come on! -Wait. W-W-W-Wait.
-Bring King Lolo. -What?
Girl, that motherfucker tried to kill us.
I don't want that fucking karma. I don't want that.
I don't care about karma.
I really hate her, but she got a point.
-Nah, I'm not going. -Fuck him! Guys, he doesn't...
Hey, come on.
Oh, my God.
-Oh, my gosh. -Help me pull him more.
I'm pulling.
-Someone call 911. -Someone call 911.
Help! Help!
Fuck! Fucking bars.
-Damn. -Help!
I don't want to die in here.
Somebody go block the bottom of the door.
You block it! Fuck!
Okay.
-There's no oxygen. -Look.
Before we die, I just want to say I'm fucking sorry.
For everything.
Girl, I know I got some blame to take, too.
It was crazy.
I meant a lot of what I said, but...
I'm sorry.
'Cause I really do love you.
I love you, too.
-Get... Keshawn. -Get off me.
-Thank God. -Thank God.
-You okay? -Thank you.
It's all right. I got you.
-Hold on tight. -Thank you so much.
You gonna be all right.
Alyssa, Alyssa, listen, listen, listen, listen.
Baby, come on, I-I don't want this t-to end.
There you go.
Come on, I think I...
I might love you.
Please stop.
You don't love me,
you don't like me,
and you damn sure don't respect me.
I deserve better.
Out through your mouth.
Nice slow breaths.
All right?
Maniac?
Hey, Dreux.
There you go.
I got you.
It's crazy because I almost bought this property.
You know, real estate shit,
but it's a fire hazard, as you can see.
-Yeah. -So, yeah,
there was pretty much fire everywhere.
So, you know, I had a platonic friend...
-Oh, my God. -...and her friend in there,
and I just had to throw myself
in front of the fire to save their lives.
You know, hero shit.
I heard you got an air conditioner, no?
-Oh, yeah, totally. -I'm King goddamn Lolo!
Okay. Yeah, I heard it's cool, but...
-Kathy, what are you doing here? -I wanted to thank you.
Mr. Longfellow's been on
our list of most delinquent for years.
Get your hands off my shit!
-Y'all tracked down King Lolo. -Mm-hmm.
-Y'all gonna remember Lolo. -Watch your head.
-How you even know he was here? -Miss Brown, she tipped us off.
What?
Girl, I told you I figured it out.
The photos.
At the Payday.
That sound like ho-ing to you?
It didn't mean anything at the time,
but when I saw him at the party...
...I remembered.
You made a plan.
You made a plan!
I can't let the universe figure out everything.
-We'll wire you your reward. -Wait, wait. Reward?
Oh! Girl, how much is it?
$30. Whoo, whoo!
-I'm tired of you. -You don't want it?
-We'll take it, but... -Okay.
-Get your ass... -Congratulations.
On my fucking nerves.
She always thinks she's important.
It's the air that she got with it.
-You know what I mean? -It's them slacks.
-Hey, Maniac. -Y'all good?
Hmm.
Um...
Is that a pigeon? Let me just...
Uh, girl...
So, when were you gonna tell me you're a firefighter?
That's what I was trying to tell you before.
Yes, I went to juvie,
but then they transferred me
-to the fire academy. -Hmm.
Yeah, I've been fighting fires ever since.
This whole time, I thought you was a killer.
That's really fucked up, honestly.
A nigga was really just stealing shit from Fox Hills.
-Wow. I'm sorry. -Nah, it's cool.
I'll forgive you.
If you could forgive me for not coming to your party.
Look like you had that shit turnt, though.
It was.
And deal.
You know, this shit really ain't fair.
I just dragged you out a burning building,
and you still look fine as hell.
Boy, stop!
Nah, but for real, I'm sorry about your place.
I mean, it really shouldn't have gone up so fast.
Nah, Uche's definitely
gonna be facing all the fire safety negligence charges
when I get my hands on him.
Well, that's some solace
because I am homeless.
Yeah, you might be. But don't worry.
You're gonna have a real good insurance claim.
I got you.
-Thanks. -Hey, hey.
My building, oh!
-What is happening here now? -Ooh.
-Uche, you in trouble now. -No. Why?
I should probably go talk with him.
Fuck you, Uche.
But is you gonna call me, or is you still scared?
I'mma call you.
All right, bet.
"Is you too scared?"
Yes, but I'm still going to call.
-What was that? -Girl, I don't know!
Hey, are y'all okay, baby? Do you need anything?
You know, people love to act the fool on the first.
Really, are you okay?
'Cause, look, you could stay with me as long as you need.
Now, it's only a one-bedroom,
and you can't bring all that shit up in here.
But we'll figure it out.
-Yes, Mama Ruth! -I love you!
I love you so much.
I love y'all, too.
-Still got them Hot Cheetos? -Oh.
-Girl, please. -You know you want to taste it.
Two Hot Cheeto martinis coming up.
You ain't gonna let this shit go.
But, you know, what you did let go was Keshawn's lame ass.
Oh, God, I kicked his ass all the way to the curb.
But make sure you make one of these for Mama Ruth,
'cause she has no idea
how you about to eat her out of a house and home.
You already know she about to put us to work.
I got to come up with a plan.
What you mean "plan," girl?
It's already in motion. I mean, look around.
This was a huge success.
I mean, I did meet this one guy at the party.
He has his own gallery.
And he asked me if I would be down to do a pop-up series.
Girl, that's huge.
Congratulations!
Mmm, I didn't say yes.
Yeah, I told him I needed to consult
-with my business partner. -Uh...
-If you'll still have me. -Hell, yeah.
Girl, we locked in. It's me and you.
Till death do us part.
You want to marry me so bad.
I just love a ceremony.
Mmm.
Girl.
It's ghetto, but it's got a runway quality about it.
It's refreshing. It's spicy. It's drunk.
Mm-hmm. It's explosive.
Uche really gonna have to fix our apartment now.
We need marble countertops, a Jacuzzi tub...
Yup, yup.
Separate area for an art studio.
Crown molding, too!
We gonna be living in luxury.
I hate feeling like I'm intruding.
I should've went to law school.
You see this, Lord?
This is what I get for trying to save your people.
They wouldn't even do this in a white neighborhood.
I'm out here all alone with no sword or nothing.
Trying to protect the innocent.
Do they care? They don't care.
-Bye, Miss Dorothy. See you. -Bye, baby.
Yo.
Could have this whole block lit up.
Okay.
Till death do us part.
Oh, he strikes again!