1 00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:16,892 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,473 - Oh, my God. Look at this. 3 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:04,397 Sh... she has risen! 4 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,733 No, no! 5 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,318 I was never dead. 6 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,153 TMZ got a bad tip. 7 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:12,239 They issued a retraction this morning. 8 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:13,907 But they said they carried your body off a boat 9 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:15,284 in Singapore, and you didn't make it. 10 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:16,827 What? 11 00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:19,037 They said they carried your body 12 00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:22,124 off a boat in Singapore, and you didn't make it. 13 00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:23,625 No, yeah. 14 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:27,004 No, no, no, I didn't make it to the hospital. 15 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,047 I came to in the ambulance. 16 00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:31,174 I had them reroute me to my hotel. 17 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:34,761 - Oh, hallelujah. - Thank You, Jesus. 18 00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,013 We didn't want to believe it, 19 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,514 but it made sense because of your... 20 00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:41,018 you know, your, um... your... your breakdown. 21 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,603 My breakdown? 22 00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,187 Yeah, at "Late Night." 23 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:48,859 It was all over the news that you went cuckoo. 24 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,363 ♪ ♪ 25 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,032 Deborah Vance is alive! 26 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,241 Yes! Oh, yes! 27 00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:02,623 - ♪ You saved me ♪ - ♪ Yes, you did ♪ 28 00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:05,834 - ♪ Uh-huh, yeah ♪ - ♪ Yes, you did ♪ 29 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:10,130 ♪ I wanna thank you for me ♪ 30 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:13,133 Motherfuckers! 31 00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:15,218 These headlines are horrible. 32 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,054 "How Deborah Vance lost her way 33 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,181 and lost 'Late Night' in the process." 34 00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:20,849 Oh, "Diva down. 35 00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:22,934 "Talk show host's bizarre behavior 36 00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:24,895 raises serious concerns." 37 00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:26,438 Ever since you went to Singapore, 38 00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:28,523 Bob Lipka has been smearing you in the press. 39 00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:30,734 But I defended you in all the comments 40 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:33,362 with my burner... @JoyceGoldblattChang. 41 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:34,571 Oh, my God. 42 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:36,156 "Deborah Vance's on-air break... 43 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,241 why they cut the feed before her meltdown." 44 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:39,493 - What? - That's a bad one. 45 00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,328 Oh, "Once an arsonist, always an arsonist... 46 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,497 Deborah Vance burns down 'Late Night.'" 47 00:02:43,579 --> 00:02:45,749 God, I knew that social-media detox 48 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,542 was gonna bite me in the ass. 49 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:50,087 First I was tagged in some very unflattering photos. 50 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,588 Now this? 51 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,048 There are hundreds of these. 52 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:54,549 Where are all the articles calling me 53 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:55,926 a free-speech warrior? 54 00:02:55,966 --> 00:02:57,386 Well, there were some positive ones, 55 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:58,762 but they've been buried. 56 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,764 Of course, 'cause that bastard owns 57 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,599 almost every news outlet. - Oh, my God. 58 00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,184 I think we've all read the stories. 59 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,268 Speaking of. 60 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,062 And, yeah, it's tragic. 61 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,022 Of course, I wish Deborah had spoken to us first, 62 00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:10,774 but, hey, it is a tough gig. 63 00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,067 Oh. 64 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,069 Not everyone's built for it. 65 00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,737 We all just hope she gets well. 66 00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,197 - "Gets well"? - "Gets well"? 67 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,616 "Gets well"? 68 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,618 No wonder the obituary was so bad. 69 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,620 They needed someone to blame, so they blame me, 70 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,122 the crazy lady. 71 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,624 It's the fucking house fire all over again. 72 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,418 We need to sue, okay? 73 00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,461 And we need to get these websites to issue a retraction. 74 00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:33,630 - I don't think that's gonna... - No. 75 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:36,049 Damage is already done. - Fuck. 76 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:38,093 We need to shift the narrative 77 00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:40,303 with something bigger than all of this. 78 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,097 Like what? 79 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,807 I'll figure something out. 80 00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,228 ♪ ♪ 81 00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:53,483 - So how you guys been? - Good. 82 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:56,194 ♪ ♪ 83 00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:58,321 I think we should do a couples costume for Halloween. 84 00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:59,656 Well, what are you thinking? 85 00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:01,366 - Bart and Lisa or... - Knock, knock. 86 00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:02,617 Hey. 87 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,995 - May I? - Sure. 88 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:08,665 Regret to inform you... 89 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,667 that Jeff Dunham is signing elsewhere. 90 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,335 - Ugh. - Fuck! 91 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:13,962 But the meeting went so well. 92 00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:15,630 I even got along with his stupid-ass puppet. 93 00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,339 All of our meetings go well, and then they find out 94 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,091 we can't do business with Bob Lipka's companies, 95 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,343 and they ghost us. 96 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,220 Well, it doesn't help that our client list 97 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:23,847 is older, female, and losing bone density 98 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,182 by the minute, Jimmy. 99 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,850 You don't have to tell me twice. 100 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,894 We lost two clients to bad falls this month alone. 101 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:31,354 It's sad, and I don't want to visit the hospital again. 102 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:32,981 Parking is a nightmare. 103 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:36,693 I didn't want to tell you this, but we lost Lassie. 104 00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,445 The dog signed somewhere else? 105 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,489 No, I mean, we literally lost her. 106 00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:42,949 She ran away. And she's not fixed, Jimmy. 107 00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:44,659 She's probably taking loads from every pittie from here 108 00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,203 to Santa Clarita, that stupid whore. 109 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,829 All right, look, I know this isn't popular. 110 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:49,289 No one's gonna want to hear this, 111 00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:51,124 but I think we should revisit the conversation 112 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:54,544 about downsizing this office. - No. We're not downsizing. 113 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:57,047 Don't make me say that again. 114 00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,090 Kayla, the office, the rent, the phones, 115 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,384 the insurance... it costs $30,000 a month to be here. 116 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:02,761 - It's worth it. - Mm-hmm. 117 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,846 We're projecting success to the industry. 118 00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:06,723 I mean, there's already nasty gossip going around 119 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,642 about us ever since you beat the shit out of Bob Lipka. 120 00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,310 I didn't beat the shit out of him. 121 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,145 I just knocked his phone out of his hand. 122 00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,396 We had a little scuffle. 123 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,857 The assistant Slack is still abuzz, boss... not good. 124 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:18,401 If we move now, it's a death knell. 125 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,071 Okay, fine. 126 00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:22,322 It's Damien. 127 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,574 He says Deborah wants to have lunch in Vegas this afternoon. 128 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,409 Oh, my God, the last-minute flights 129 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,286 are gonna be so expensive... this is what I'm talking about. 130 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,121 - Do you know what's free? Your BMW... 131 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,457 which I just had vacuumed, it's spotless. 132 00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:34,209 You could eat an omakase off the dash. 133 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:35,919 Sure, but if we're gonna drive and be there by lunch, 134 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,546 we've got to go now. - Road trip. 135 00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,923 - I'll drive. Don't worry. I just got my license. 136 00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,758 - "Just"? - Shotgun. 137 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,927 Okay, I guess I'll sit in the back of my own car? 138 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,929 ♪ All right ♪ 139 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,765 ♪ ♪ 140 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,725 ♪ Come on ♪ 141 00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:53,728 Wake up! 142 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:55,438 I figured it out. 143 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,816 - What time is it? Actually, what day is it? 144 00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,317 Every obituary leads 145 00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:01,987 with a person's greatest achievement or failure. 146 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:04,823 That's why I need a win, a legacy-defining win 147 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:07,117 that they cannot spin! - Okay. 148 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,452 I refuse to be remembered on other people's terms... 149 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,955 as a quitter or the person who killed "Late Night" 150 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,790 or some hysterical woman. 151 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,626 I have worked too hard, and I have fought far too long. 152 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,129 I will be remembered for my accomplishments. 153 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,422 Yes. 154 00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:23,592 So I have decided to EGOT. 155 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,513 - Uh, EGOT? - Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony. 156 00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,473 - No, I know. Well, actually, I didn't. 157 00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:33,810 I thought the G was for Golden Globe, but I love that. 158 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,146 I love that. - Oh. Oh, good. 159 00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:38,189 I kind of assumed you'd think it was crazy. 160 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:41,318 No. I think... I think it'd be crazy if you did not do that. 161 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,986 - Right? Great. - Yeah. 162 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,988 Come on, get up... we're having lunch with the team. 163 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,615 Now! - Lunch? 164 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:49,242 I'm still on Singapore Standard Time. 165 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:53,288 A midnight snack could be good. 166 00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:54,831 ♪ I can feel my love ♪ 167 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,291 ♪ I'm feeling it ♪ 168 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:59,169 ♪ A super-fine feeling ♪ 169 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:01,504 ♪ Super-fine feeling ♪ 170 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,632 ♪ ♪ 171 00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:05,634 ♪ Super fine, yeah ♪ 172 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,636 - That's right, it's me. I'm alive. 173 00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:11,181 It's hard, but it's worth it. 174 00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:13,600 I mean, I know EGOT is ambitious, 175 00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:15,143 but I'm already halfway there. 176 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,437 I have a Daytime Emmy for hosting "Bagongle." 177 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,272 - Yes. Oh, my God. - "Bagongle." 178 00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:20,690 - Yeah. - Wait, what? 179 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,442 Oh, "Bagongle" was a game show 180 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:24,319 on the USA Network in 1992, 181 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:27,364 where celebrities played Boggle on a constantly shaking floor. 182 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,698 So funny. 183 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,700 And I already have my Tony for producing. 184 00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,744 In a post-coital haze, Eric Idle convinced me 185 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:34,704 to put some money into "Spamalot." 186 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:37,666 Anyway, I already have my T and my E. 187 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:41,044 So now I need you to get me my O. 188 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,587 Oh. 189 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:45,465 - O is for Oscar. - No, I know what O stands for. 190 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,217 I just meant, oh, like a reaction. 191 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,052 - Oh, that's crazy. - Yeah, wow. 192 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,179 Um, anyway, Deborah, I'm gonna have to review your contract, 193 00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,390 because I have to see what you can even do legally. 194 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:56,643 Boss man, permission to speak. 195 00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,061 Sure. 196 00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,896 Now, the network paid out Deborah's contract, 197 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,690 and they did it all through her exclusivity clause, 198 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,066 not the noncompete. 199 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,068 Technically, she can't do anything scripted or paid... 200 00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:06,695 TV, film, no new media. 201 00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:09,698 They control her socials, no live public performances. 202 00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:12,659 And the contract specifies Florida law governs. 203 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,494 And because Deborah already signed 204 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,705 her injunctive relief clause, if she violates the contract, 205 00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:19,707 they can come at her with a restraining order or worse. 206 00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:22,043 - You memorized all that? - Inadvertently. 207 00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:24,587 I mean, someone recently told me they thought I was autistic. 208 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,090 - That was me this morning. - Oh, yeah. 209 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,843 Anyway, she can technically still film something now, 210 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:32,595 as long as it's not released until the noncompete is over. 211 00:08:32,636 --> 00:08:34,097 I like this young man. 212 00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:35,432 Thing about an Oscar... 213 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,475 No, Jimmy, it's not that difficult. 214 00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:38,809 I mean, award voters 215 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:40,729 love it when funny people go dead serious. 216 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:41,730 Yes. 217 00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:43,648 Just find me my Mo'Nique moment. 218 00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:45,734 - Well, I can set you up... - Oh, now, on to the Grammys. 219 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,318 Tragically, I have been nominated 220 00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:48,945 for my stand-up records seven times. 221 00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,488 I have never won. - "Seven"? 222 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:51,948 - I think it was seven. - Mm-hmm. 223 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,324 "Not a Vance in Hell," 224 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:55,243 "Under The Knife, Over The Drama," 225 00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:58,621 "Live at the Mall of America," "The Olestra Diaries," 226 00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:01,166 "Live Free or Diet," "The Deb Commandments," 227 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,793 and "The Best Things in Life Are at Sears: 228 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,587 Deborah Vance Live Sponsored by Sears." 229 00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,422 So, yeah, seven. - Robbed. 230 00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,257 Now, I know I can't do stand-up right now, 231 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:10,967 so I'm taking a different route. 232 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,303 I'm gonna compete in the Best Audiobook category 233 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,888 by recording my memoir. 234 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,473 - You wrote a memoir? That's great. 235 00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,767 Well, no, not yet, but I happen to know 236 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,269 the best writer in the world. 237 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,063 - Aw. - Tony Kushner. 238 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,231 Hey, what about me? 239 00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:28,109 - You can't write my memoir. You're too obsessed with me. 240 00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:29,444 It's cool. 241 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,154 I gave up on developing my prose skills 242 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,989 when I realized Gen Alpha can't read. 243 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,783 All right, everybody, let's go. 244 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:37,494 G-O stands for Grammy, Oscar. 245 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,788 - Yeah. - I'm not scared. 246 00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:43,792 - A Grammy and an Oscar? Ava... - No, I know, okay? 247 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,169 But you don't understand how bad it got in Singapore. 248 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,546 She was sleeping all day. She was drinking till noon. 249 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,799 Jimmy, she wore Crocs in public. 250 00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:53,551 - Did the Crocs have a heel? - No. 251 00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:55,553 But she keeps her heels on during surgery. 252 00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,806 Yeah, so that's why, whatever she wants to do, 253 00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:00,391 we need to get on board, okay? - Okay. 254 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,018 Yeah. A-and you know what? 255 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,728 I guess she has done crazier things, right? 256 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,188 Yes, of course. 257 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,816 She can do anything. We can do anything. 258 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,193 Speaking of which, I need you to write and sell 259 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,029 a huge international hit that has potential for sequels. 260 00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,781 Can you do that? - I... 261 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,825 Look, I would... I would never normally pressure a client 262 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:19,035 to help our firm financially, but... 263 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,453 we really need it. 264 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,831 We've had a tough few months. 265 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,833 Jimmy, she gave up the show for me. 266 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,626 You know, I have to stay and help her. 267 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,837 I'm sorry. I... - No, no, no, I get that. 268 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,047 Actually, I did finish my "Mall Girl" script 269 00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:32,674 in Singapore... I could send you that. 270 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:34,217 - Amazing. Okay, great. 271 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:37,053 You send that to me, and, um, I guess... 272 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,722 I'll go get Deborah an Academy Award. 273 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,057 Perfect. 274 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,433 Great to see you. 275 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,856 ♪ ♪ 276 00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:51,067 Mr. Kushner, um, I just want to say 277 00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,694 it... it's such an honor 278 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,863 to observe the writing process of one of my heroes. 279 00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:57,907 I mean, "Angels in America" was just so formative for me. 280 00:10:57,949 --> 00:10:59,200 Oh, that's sweet. 281 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,619 She's just shadowing, so feel free to ignore her. 282 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,913 I often do. - Oh. 283 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,040 So, Tony, where do we start? 284 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,917 I'm thinking a chapter a day, 15 chapters, 285 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:11,087 we should be able to wrap this up in two weeks, easy. 286 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,673 Uh, we're gonna need far longer than that. 287 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,718 I really believe in an immersive process. 288 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:19,095 Oh. Okay. 289 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:21,097 Well, I don't... I don't tend to love 290 00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:26,019 those whiny childhood parts of most celebrity memoirs. 291 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:28,021 But then again, I was a very strong child. 292 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:30,273 I held up my own head at three months old... 293 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,900 my little blonde head. 294 00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:33,526 - Oh, wow. - I know. 295 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:35,778 Oh, that would make a great opening sentence. 296 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:38,239 Quote... "I was born blonde." 297 00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:42,076 I actually want to start way before that. 298 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,495 Since your people descend from Scotland, 299 00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:47,290 I've been reading "The Lion in the North: 300 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:50,460 One Thousand Years of Scotland's History." 301 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,338 Did you know that your eighth great-grandfather 302 00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:57,467 was a prominent figure in the Battle of Glen Fruin? 303 00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:58,801 I didn't. 304 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,345 It's really fascinating stuff. 305 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,180 It starts with the MacGregor clan. 306 00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,766 They were in a feud with the Coughlin clan 307 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,643 over cattle thefts and land thefts. 308 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,519 This is, like, at the beginning of the 17th century, 309 00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:11,147 when James VI, who was a big homo, 310 00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:14,150 moved to England to become James I. 311 00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:16,277 And it was the start of the Jacobian era 312 00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,321 and the translation of the King James Bible... 313 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:24,077 Thank you. 314 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,454 Okay, what if Deborah produces a documentary short? 315 00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:28,248 That's got to be an easy category, right? 316 00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:29,916 There's no way Deborah's 317 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,501 getting into that category this year. 318 00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:33,294 I mean, do you see how many ongoing wars 319 00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:34,837 we have going on right now? 320 00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:37,757 There's at least a nominee coming out of each. 321 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,635 Unless Deborah wants to drag a film crew through the Congo, 322 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,178 it's not happening. 323 00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:44,180 - God, this is impossible. - It is. 324 00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:46,182 Is it, though? Because correct me if I'm wrong... 325 00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:48,184 there already is a movie with early Oscar buzz 326 00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:49,727 that Deborah has a connection to. 327 00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:50,895 Which one? 328 00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,897 The Fatty Arbuckle movie, Jimmy. 329 00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:54,482 The one you're producing. Hello? 330 00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:56,859 Hi, yeah, no, that's the only project we have 331 00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,903 without Deborah or a rabid dog attached. 332 00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:00,697 Absolutely not. No. 333 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,699 And dare I say, I'm proud of my work on it. 334 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:05,159 Thank you very much. - It's an award-season dream. 335 00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:06,911 I mean, it's a biopic. 336 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:09,205 It's got famous actors playing against type. 337 00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:10,581 It's a period piece. It's got everything. 338 00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:12,166 She just needs a small part. 339 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,710 Do you know that Beatrice Straight 340 00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,295 won the Oscar for "Network," 341 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,213 despite having only five minutes of screen time? 342 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:19,048 - Five minutes. - I didn't know that. 343 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,550 Had no idea. But it doesn't matter. 344 00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,051 We're already finished shooting. 345 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,553 - Don't we have to do reshoots? - Mm! 346 00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:25,138 No, we are doing additional photography. 347 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:26,139 - Reshoots. - Great! 348 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,682 We are doing additional photography. 349 00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:29,559 It is different than a reshoot. Different thing. 350 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,394 Christopher Plummer was nominated 351 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,688 for a performance done entirely within additional photography. 352 00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:35,064 Thank you. 353 00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,983 Wow, how do you know all this stuff? 354 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,818 Once I started learning about Hollywood, I couldn't stop. 355 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,738 Such a fascinating mix of culture and business 356 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,239 and art and history. 357 00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,033 It's America. 358 00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,243 I mean, maybe if she was Australian, I could see it. 359 00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:48,411 Mm. 360 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:51,039 But, no, look, the Arbuckle movie 361 00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:53,040 is the only thing that's going well for our firm. 362 00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:55,752 I can't mess it up. - All right, whatever you say. 363 00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:58,046 Maybe she could learn sound mixing 364 00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:00,423 and rise to the top of her field in the next two weeks? 365 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,550 The worst idea I've ever heard. 366 00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,302 Hey, there are no bad ideas, but... 367 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,804 No, it's okay. I probably shouldn't have said anything. 368 00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:09,057 - Mm. - Fuck! 369 00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:11,267 You got to be more sensitive to her, okay? 370 00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:12,894 Kayla. Kayla, honey, it's okay. 371 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,896 You know what? There are no bad ideas in a brainstorm. 372 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,773 And it's really hard to get an Oscar. 373 00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:19,567 ♪ They're trying to break up our home ♪ 374 00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:22,945 ♪ But God bless the child that's got his own ♪ 375 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,947 ♪ ♪ 376 00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,533 Okay, so today let's start with high school. 377 00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:29,577 I was gorgeous, smart, and popular. 378 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:32,080 College, same. Now, that's when Frank came in. 379 00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:36,376 Before we get into that, let me just play you something. 380 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:39,712 And I stood there shivering in my pajamas. 381 00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,464 I think this is the soundtrack 382 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,549 for the first chapter of the book. 383 00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,301 And when it was all over, I said to myself... 384 00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,761 Books don't have soundtracks. 385 00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,805 No, the soundtrack I'll listen to 386 00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,681 while I write that section of your life. 387 00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:54,185 Oh, my God, that is such a cool way to do it. 388 00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:56,813 God, when I write, I just change out of my sleep pajamas 389 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,857 to my daytime pajamas. 390 00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:04,654 Maybe close your eyes to really feel it? 391 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,030 I-I-I don't know. 392 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,782 I have a Pulitzer. 393 00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,701 Uh, mm. 394 00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:12,495 ♪ Let's break out the booze ♪ 395 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:14,497 Ooh, wow. 396 00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:15,957 This does feel good. 397 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,626 - Right? She gets it. 398 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,673 ♪ If that's all ♪ 399 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,842 Oh, I love this song. 400 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:27,343 Hi, Tony. 401 00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:31,806 ♪ Is that all there is? ♪ 402 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:36,185 ♪ Is that all there is? ♪ 403 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:40,606 ♪ If that's all there is, my friends ♪ 404 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:44,819 ♪ Then let's keep dancing ♪ 405 00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:49,031 Oh, Fatty, I can't be alone. 406 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,826 I wish I could hold you just one more time. 407 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,540 I can't believe I'm saying this, 408 00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,209 but Deborah actually would be better for this part. 409 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:01,919 Uh, yeah, anybody would. 410 00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:04,172 - Let's cut. - Cutting. 411 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,382 - I'm sorry, guys, I'm... I'm really having trouble 412 00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:08,092 accessing the emotions today. 413 00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:10,511 No, no, no, darling, you're doing fantastic. 414 00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:11,929 We love it. 415 00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:14,390 I hate it. She's so bad. 416 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,225 Yeah, she's been horrible all day. 417 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:17,935 Do you think that maybe she'd be better 418 00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:20,188 if we put peanut butter on the roof of her mouth? 419 00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:21,564 What? 420 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,399 We recently did the "Lassie" reboot. 421 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:25,193 She's kidding, I think. I hope. - I'm not kidding. 422 00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:26,819 Look, I hate to say this, 423 00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:29,071 but I do think we should recast her. 424 00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:30,990 - You do? That's a good idea. - Oh, fuck. 425 00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:32,992 I mean, this movie's about a comedian, right? 426 00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:34,577 And it's leaning a little maudlin. 427 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,579 I think you should put a comedian in the role. 428 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,039 Right? 429 00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:41,501 - What about Deborah Vance? It's an interesting idea. 430 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,503 - Does she act at all? - Are you kidding? 431 00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,588 She was the lead of "Who's Making Dinner?!" 432 00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,340 Groundbreaking sitcom in the '70s? 433 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,217 - She's great in that. - And you know what is crazy? 434 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,760 Her story is exactly like Fatty's. 435 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,762 I mean, she was cast aside by the public. 436 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,764 She was maligned, but then she rose from the ashes. 437 00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:56,224 It's actually really good for the narrative, 438 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,808 and I think she'd be amazing in the part. 439 00:16:57,892 --> 00:16:59,435 That was very inspired, Kayla. That's a great idea. 440 00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:00,895 I just totally came up with it. 441 00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,563 Didn't she go crazy or something recently? 442 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,147 No, no, no, that was a coordinated smear campaign. 443 00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:06,108 That is absolutely false. 444 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,777 I can tell you as her manager, all those things you've read... 445 00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,612 - Something not true. She's sassier than ever. 446 00:17:09,694 --> 00:17:11,113 Okay, great. I love it. 447 00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:12,281 Let's do it. - Okay. 448 00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,824 - Awesome. - Oh, my gosh. 449 00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:15,826 And you have to fire Esme, because I'm not good 450 00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,244 at being direct with people. 451 00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,622 - You're a director. - I know. 452 00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:20,790 Okay. 453 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,541 Great. Cool. 454 00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,877 Moving on, everyone. - All right, moving on. 455 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:26,712 Moving on. 456 00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:29,131 God, I can't believe you're recording the book already. 457 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:31,467 Oh, no, no, the book's not happening. 458 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:32,927 I fired Kushner. 459 00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:35,429 - You fired Tony Kushner? - Mm-hmm. 460 00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:37,265 No, Deborah. 461 00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:39,058 God, I was gonna slowly develop 462 00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,893 a relationship with him over the course of years 463 00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,895 and then eventually ask him to read my script, 464 00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:44,313 and he was gonna love it. 465 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:45,731 You know how it is with men. 466 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,316 If they're not moving at your pace, 467 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,151 it just gets boring and painful after a while. 468 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:52,154 Okay, so why are we in a recording studio, then? 469 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,657 I had McKinsey run the numbers 470 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,285 to see if I could still get a Grammy this year. 471 00:17:57,368 --> 00:18:00,496 Deborah, we talked about you not using McKinsey. 472 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,790 You said I could do it if it was for a good cause. 473 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:05,960 - No, I didn't. - Well, it is, and I did. 474 00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:07,878 Apparently, it is an incredibly weak year 475 00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:09,672 for one Grammy category. 476 00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:13,843 Regional Mexican Music Album, including Tejano. 477 00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:15,553 And? 478 00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:17,513 And if I'm featured with the front-runner 479 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,515 and they win, which they will 'cause it's a weak year, 480 00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:20,725 I get my G. 481 00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,685 Yay. 482 00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:24,812 Hey, Deborah, we're ready for you. 483 00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:27,148 Thanks. 484 00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,275 Okay, wish me luck. 485 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,489 Did you know about this? - Yes. 486 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:37,199 Buenos días. 487 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,035 Hi, hi. - Hello. How you doing? 488 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:40,620 - Good. - All right. 489 00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:41,787 Yeah. 490 00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,664 Hit it. 491 00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:57,595 ♪ ♪ 492 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:07,063 Oh, God, I hate firing people. 493 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,689 Let's do good cop, bad cop. 494 00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,941 - I'll be bad cop. They're sexier. 495 00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:13,361 - Okay. Just... Okay. 496 00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:14,945 We should see a concert soon. 497 00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:17,406 I'm kind of in the mood for a concert. 498 00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:18,574 All right. 499 00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:21,243 Come in. 500 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,079 - Hi, there. It's, uh, Jimmy and Kayla. 501 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,747 - Hi. Yeah, hi. - Hi. 502 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,749 We need to talk to you, honey. 503 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:30,002 - O-okay. Sure. C-come on in. 504 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:31,754 Oh, thank you so much 505 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:34,006 for welcoming us into your space. 506 00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,008 Of course. 507 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:39,428 Um, we should start by saying that you, madam, 508 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,431 have been just so punctual. 509 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,725 Of course I'm punctual. 510 00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,602 That being said, you're bad! 511 00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,270 Your acting's ass 512 00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,940 and you're being outperformed by a dead corpse, mama! 513 00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:52,775 - Okay. Sorry about her. Give us a second. 514 00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:55,111 That was insane, but, honestly, it's on me. 515 00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:56,779 I should've never let you be bad cop. 516 00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,406 You be good cop. - Okay. 517 00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:00,741 Kind of an oxymoron, though. Fucking pigs. 518 00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:03,244 Just be as nice as you possibly can, okay? 519 00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:06,122 Okay. I'll be the nicest girl in the whole world. 520 00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:08,499 Sorry about that, hon. I'm super bipolar. 521 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:11,585 - Oh, my God. I did not know that. 522 00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,129 Yeah, I, uh... 523 00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:14,964 I-I'm really sorry about that. 524 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,258 But, unfortunately, I do have some bad news. 525 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,968 Okay. 526 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,636 Are those your real lips? 527 00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:23,764 If so, your boyfriend's one lucky son of a bitch. 528 00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:25,683 Uh, I-I-I have a-a-a wife. 529 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,643 Oh, gay ass. 530 00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:30,396 Listen, there's no easy way to say this. 531 00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:31,814 You are being recast. 532 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,816 - What? - Oh, my God. 533 00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,901 You are terminated effective immediately. 534 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:37,820 Please pack up your things and return your costume 535 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,655 and the wig cap. - Fuck you, Jimmy! 536 00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:41,157 Seriously? - What? 537 00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:43,242 I mean, this is so unfair, right? 538 00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,910 Insane, wrong. 539 00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:47,246 Let's get the union involved. You jackass! 540 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:48,831 No, we're not getting the union involved. 541 00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:50,166 We're just recasting. It happens every day. 542 00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:51,667 No, I mean, seriously, you've been 543 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,461 mistreated in the workplace. - No, she hasn't. 544 00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:54,837 This is just a recasting. 545 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,172 It happens every day in Hollywood, okay? 546 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:57,673 I've never seen something like this. 547 00:20:57,715 --> 00:20:59,467 - It's a tough business. It happens a lot, okay? 548 00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,844 Unfortunately, this decision is final... you're fired. 549 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:05,222 But you're also signed by us as a client. 550 00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:06,682 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 551 00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:09,018 - Kayla. - I am seeking representation. 552 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,686 Well, you found it with Schaefer & LuSaque. 553 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,396 Welcome to the family. - Oh, Jesus... 554 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,148 Oh, my God. 555 00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:16,317 Yeah, we should definitely get a dinner on the books. 556 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,568 Yay! 557 00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:20,571 Dinner, dinner, dinner. 558 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:23,866 ♪ Too close for comfort ♪ 559 00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:27,161 ♪ Danced too good and slow ♪ 560 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:29,246 I consider myself a playwright 561 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,790 who's learned to write screenplays, 562 00:21:30,873 --> 00:21:32,374 or perhaps I should say, I'm a playwright 563 00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:34,376 who's learned to write screenplays 564 00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:36,212 for Steven Spielberg. 565 00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:38,339 - Hello. - Oh, hey. What's up? 566 00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:39,715 I've been thinking. 567 00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:42,384 The real way to cement my legacy 568 00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:45,513 is for me to primary AOC. 569 00:21:45,596 --> 00:21:47,389 What do you think? 570 00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:50,392 Oh, um... yeah. 571 00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:52,561 Yeah, totally. That sounds good. 572 00:21:52,603 --> 00:21:55,314 I-I guess we would have to get you a New York address first 573 00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:56,899 in the Bronx... that could be cool. 574 00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,734 We could hang out there. I heart New York. 575 00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:00,903 I would love to hang out in New York City a lot more. 576 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,738 I would love that. It would be great. 577 00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:04,573 - Okay, that's it. What is wrong with you? 578 00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:06,784 - Nothing. - What are you talking about? 579 00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:08,744 You're not challenging me in your normal 580 00:22:08,786 --> 00:22:11,080 "well, haven't you ever considered" Ava way. 581 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,790 I'm just trying to be supportive. 582 00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:17,127 - Well, I don't need a yes-man. I need a no-woman to ignore. 583 00:22:17,211 --> 00:22:21,048 Okay, well... fine. 584 00:22:21,131 --> 00:22:23,759 Uh, yeah, things got really dark in Singapore, 585 00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:26,136 and it was really scary seeing you that way. 586 00:22:26,220 --> 00:22:28,138 And now you're back, and you're motivated, 587 00:22:28,222 --> 00:22:30,558 and it's just nice to see you getting out of bed 588 00:22:30,641 --> 00:22:31,976 every day excited. 589 00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:34,311 Well, okay. 590 00:22:37,648 --> 00:22:42,069 But, you know, I do sometimes need you to be honest with me. 591 00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:47,783 Okay, well, I don't think performing Tejano music 592 00:22:47,825 --> 00:22:49,785 is how you want to rewrite your legacy. 593 00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:51,287 ¿Por qué no? 594 00:22:53,497 --> 00:22:55,583 I just... I don't know that, like, 595 00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:58,294 trying to find some loophole to game the system 596 00:22:58,335 --> 00:22:59,795 in an obscure awards category 597 00:22:59,837 --> 00:23:01,797 is what you want to be remembered for, is it? 598 00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:03,799 Maybe. 599 00:23:03,841 --> 00:23:06,176 I mean, this noncompete could be a blessing in disguise. 600 00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:08,345 I could discover something new I'm brilliant at, 601 00:23:08,429 --> 00:23:09,805 my... my true calling. 602 00:23:09,847 --> 00:23:12,933 I mean, look at Woody Allen. He's a gifted clarinetist. 603 00:23:13,017 --> 00:23:14,935 Doll, Woody Allen is not gonna be remembered 604 00:23:15,019 --> 00:23:16,979 for playing the clarinet or the movies 605 00:23:17,021 --> 00:23:18,355 or the bucket hat. 606 00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:20,190 It's gonna be the other thing, okay? 607 00:23:20,274 --> 00:23:22,610 And you are gonna be remembered for comedy, 608 00:23:22,693 --> 00:23:25,362 because you're a comedian. 609 00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:27,656 You said it yourself in your final monologue, remember? 610 00:23:27,698 --> 00:23:29,825 Oh, God, I don't remember what I said. 611 00:23:29,867 --> 00:23:32,578 I certainly haven't watched it. - Yeah, well, maybe you should. 612 00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:38,459 Okay, what is the biggest achievement for a comedian? 613 00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:43,505 - Beating a rape trial. - Seriously. 614 00:23:43,547 --> 00:23:45,507 Hosting a late-night show. 615 00:23:45,549 --> 00:23:47,760 - Come on. Anything else? 616 00:23:47,843 --> 00:23:50,930 Selling out Madison Square Garden. 617 00:23:51,013 --> 00:23:53,140 Okay, great. 618 00:23:53,223 --> 00:23:56,852 But I can't do that. 619 00:23:56,894 --> 00:23:58,687 I can't perform. - I know. 620 00:23:58,729 --> 00:24:00,689 And I don't know how to get around that. 621 00:24:00,731 --> 00:24:03,108 I don't know what to do. 622 00:24:03,192 --> 00:24:06,195 So you have a bump but no pitch. 623 00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,907 Yeah. I'm sorry. 624 00:24:09,990 --> 00:24:12,076 Yeah, me too. 625 00:24:15,162 --> 00:24:18,415 ♪ ♪ 626 00:24:18,499 --> 00:24:20,250 I'm going to bed. 627 00:24:20,334 --> 00:24:24,546 ♪ ♪ 628 00:24:24,588 --> 00:24:27,049 - Good night. - Good night. 629 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:31,971 ♪ ♪ 630 00:24:49,947 --> 00:24:51,448 What? 631 00:24:59,289 --> 00:25:01,417 Ava! 632 00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:03,252 No results. Unbelievable. 633 00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:05,504 Yeah, they've taken down every "Late Night" clip. 634 00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:06,922 This is criminal. 635 00:25:06,964 --> 00:25:09,091 Hang on. 636 00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:10,426 Oh, shit. 637 00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:12,928 What? 638 00:25:12,970 --> 00:25:14,930 They took down "My Bad," too. 639 00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:16,640 What? 640 00:25:19,977 --> 00:25:22,730 Why would my special be gone? 641 00:25:22,813 --> 00:25:24,606 Because it's on their streamer. 642 00:25:24,690 --> 00:25:26,734 Bob Lipka controls that, too. 643 00:25:26,817 --> 00:25:29,319 They fucking scrubbed everything. 644 00:25:29,403 --> 00:25:31,947 Everything. 645 00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:34,783 Everything that we have worked on for the past five years 646 00:25:34,825 --> 00:25:36,744 is gone. 647 00:25:36,827 --> 00:25:40,122 They're not just rewriting me, they are erasing me! 648 00:25:40,164 --> 00:25:42,624 I'm so sorry. 649 00:25:42,666 --> 00:25:45,544 You know, the last time the press smeared me, 650 00:25:45,627 --> 00:25:47,046 I just let them. 651 00:25:47,129 --> 00:25:49,631 I leaned into it, but not this time. 652 00:25:49,715 --> 00:25:51,467 This time I am writing my story, 653 00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:53,761 'cause you're right... I am a comedian. 654 00:25:53,802 --> 00:25:57,139 And I'm doing comedy, and I'm doing it tomorrow night. 655 00:25:57,181 --> 00:25:59,767 - Totally. Super support you. But how are you gonna... 656 00:25:59,850 --> 00:26:01,477 Call Jimmy, manager. 657 00:26:01,518 --> 00:26:03,979 Being let go is a normal part of the business. 658 00:26:04,021 --> 00:26:05,564 - Yeah. - I'm sure she'll be okay. 659 00:26:05,647 --> 00:26:07,066 Thank you, Orna. 660 00:26:07,149 --> 00:26:08,776 But, again, I do want to revisit 661 00:26:08,859 --> 00:26:10,527 working on your boundaries with clients. 662 00:26:10,611 --> 00:26:12,362 Yes, I've been thinking about that a lot... 663 00:26:12,446 --> 00:26:14,031 And I, um... Oh, shoot. 664 00:26:14,114 --> 00:26:15,783 You know what? Deborah's calling. 665 00:26:15,866 --> 00:26:17,785 Same time next week? Great. 666 00:26:17,868 --> 00:26:19,203 Hey, Deborah. 667 00:26:19,286 --> 00:26:20,871 - Hi. Hi, hi, hi. I hope it's not too late. 668 00:26:20,954 --> 00:26:22,998 - No, no, this is great. I actually want to talk to you. 669 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,000 I just figured it was too late for you. 670 00:26:25,042 --> 00:26:27,336 Are you ready for your close-up, Miss De-Vance? 671 00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:29,671 - What? - I got you a part. 672 00:26:29,713 --> 00:26:31,715 Your Oscar is just one great performance, 673 00:26:31,799 --> 00:26:34,176 nomination, flawless campaign, and win away. 674 00:26:34,259 --> 00:26:36,678 - No, I'm over that. Don't need an Oscar anymore. 675 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,472 - No, yes, you do. You need it. 676 00:26:38,555 --> 00:26:41,058 You told me you needed it, and... and we recast somebody. 677 00:26:41,141 --> 00:26:43,018 We're putting you on the call sheet right now. 678 00:26:43,060 --> 00:26:44,812 Jimmy, I'm doing stand-up tomorrow. 679 00:26:44,895 --> 00:26:47,189 - Oh, no. You're sundowning, darling. 680 00:26:47,231 --> 00:26:48,482 You cannot perform. 681 00:26:48,565 --> 00:26:50,317 No, I'm gonna do a secret show. 682 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:51,777 We're gonna confiscate phones. 683 00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:54,363 Well, no venue's gonna agree to that. 684 00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:56,198 They don't have to. 685 00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:59,201 I know a guy. 686 00:26:59,243 --> 00:27:00,702 Password? 687 00:27:00,744 --> 00:27:03,539 Hermès Kelly 28 croc, gold hardware. 688 00:27:07,417 --> 00:27:10,712 - Follow me. You made it just in time. 689 00:27:10,754 --> 00:27:17,803 ♪ ♪ 690 00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:21,557 Phones, please. 691 00:27:21,598 --> 00:27:24,268 If your babysitter calls, Damien here will handle it. 692 00:27:24,351 --> 00:27:26,770 And if you try to sneak in a device, you will be Tased. 693 00:27:26,854 --> 00:27:28,105 They are good. 694 00:27:28,188 --> 00:27:29,731 Follow me and watch your step. 695 00:27:29,815 --> 00:27:31,567 We are not liable if you fall, ladies! 696 00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:33,235 Open any hard candy now. 697 00:27:33,318 --> 00:27:36,613 So help me God, if I hear a rustle, you're gone. 698 00:27:36,697 --> 00:27:37,739 Sit. 699 00:27:37,823 --> 00:27:38,949 Right this way. 700 00:27:39,032 --> 00:27:40,617 Front row, best seat in the house... 701 00:27:40,701 --> 00:27:42,244 you do have to sit on the floor, though. 702 00:27:42,327 --> 00:27:43,871 Sorry about that. - Did you get your mom yet? 703 00:27:43,954 --> 00:27:45,414 The Arbuckle movie is freaking out. 704 00:27:45,455 --> 00:27:46,874 All right, let me try her again. 705 00:27:50,836 --> 00:27:52,880 I'm so sorry, everybody. 706 00:27:52,963 --> 00:27:54,089 I'm so sorry. 707 00:27:54,131 --> 00:27:55,257 Cut. 708 00:27:55,299 --> 00:27:56,884 Oh, it's... it's my son calling. 709 00:27:56,967 --> 00:27:58,385 He's been trying to reach me. 710 00:27:58,468 --> 00:28:00,012 Hi, honey. What's going on? 711 00:28:00,095 --> 00:28:01,763 You know that we shoot until midnight every night. 712 00:28:01,805 --> 00:28:03,432 - I know, I'm sorry. Just listen. 713 00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:05,434 I got you a role in the Fatty Arbuckle movie. 714 00:28:05,475 --> 00:28:07,936 - Okay. Say more. - Here's the only issue. 715 00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:10,772 We lose our location Saturday, so we have to shoot tomorrow. 716 00:28:10,856 --> 00:28:13,108 Can you be off book for eight pages by morning? 717 00:28:13,150 --> 00:28:14,985 - Baby, are you kidding? I'm in soaps. 718 00:28:15,068 --> 00:28:17,487 I could be off book for "Hamlet" in 20 minutes. 719 00:28:17,571 --> 00:28:19,114 - Oh, great. Okay. 720 00:28:19,198 --> 00:28:21,491 Oh, the show's starting. I got to go. I'll text you. 721 00:28:21,575 --> 00:28:22,618 All right. Love you. 722 00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:25,120 Okay, my mom is in. She's gonna do it. 723 00:28:25,162 --> 00:28:26,163 Yes. 724 00:28:26,246 --> 00:28:30,083 Deborah, Deborah, Deborah! 725 00:28:30,167 --> 00:28:33,503 Deborah, Deborah, Deborah! 726 00:28:33,587 --> 00:28:35,756 Deborah, Deborah, Deborah! 727 00:28:35,839 --> 00:28:38,300 Deborah, Deborah, Deborah! 728 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,806 Deborah, we love you! 729 00:28:55,192 --> 00:28:57,736 Thank you. Um... 730 00:28:57,819 --> 00:29:00,948 Oh, thank you. 731 00:29:01,031 --> 00:29:03,659 Here I am, back from the dead. 732 00:29:07,329 --> 00:29:09,331 You know, when a man does that, he's the Son of God. 733 00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:12,459 When a woman does it, she's held for questioning at LAX. 734 00:29:15,087 --> 00:29:16,964 The only other time I was mistaken for a corpse 735 00:29:17,047 --> 00:29:19,883 was when I let a straight man do my makeup. 736 00:29:24,054 --> 00:29:28,183 You know, when you're away from the spotlight... 737 00:29:28,225 --> 00:29:32,187 you have time to think about what really matters. 738 00:29:32,229 --> 00:29:33,855 The spotlight! 739 00:29:33,897 --> 00:29:36,233 God, I am glad to be back! 740 00:29:42,739 --> 00:29:49,746 ♪ ♪ 741 00:29:51,707 --> 00:29:53,542 Oh, can I try that again? 742 00:29:53,583 --> 00:29:55,043 Mm. 743 00:29:55,127 --> 00:29:56,461 Oh, that... that is fierce. 744 00:29:56,545 --> 00:29:57,879 - Stunning. Stunning. - Look at that. 745 00:29:57,921 --> 00:29:59,548 Oh. - Excuse me. 746 00:29:59,589 --> 00:30:00,966 Are you Deborah Vance? 747 00:30:01,049 --> 00:30:02,718 Yes, I'm alive. 748 00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:04,594 And you've been served. 749 00:30:08,098 --> 00:30:09,808 Bitch! 750 00:30:09,891 --> 00:30:12,644 Shit, ye... there's a video of you from the show online. 751 00:30:12,728 --> 00:30:15,147 I can't believe Bob's people found it so quickly. 752 00:30:15,230 --> 00:30:17,316 Looks like we're going to court. 753 00:30:17,399 --> 00:30:19,026 Ma'am, we need that ring back. 754 00:30:19,109 --> 00:30:20,902 She'll give it back when she's ready. 755 00:30:23,447 --> 00:30:25,574 Free Deborah! Free Deborah! 756 00:30:30,078 --> 00:30:31,788 - Let us through! Let us through, please! 757 00:30:31,872 --> 00:30:33,415 - Deborah! - Deborah! 758 00:30:33,457 --> 00:30:35,208 Deborah, your comments on today? 759 00:30:35,292 --> 00:30:37,085 Deborah. 760 00:30:37,127 --> 00:30:39,796 - Ms. Vance. - Deborah, care to comment? 761 00:30:42,341 --> 00:30:45,052 - Move back! Move back! 762 00:30:45,093 --> 00:30:47,054 - Coming through. Come on, guys, back up. 763 00:30:47,095 --> 00:30:49,264 We've just learned the judge has ruled 764 00:30:49,306 --> 00:30:50,932 that due to ComStar's investment 765 00:30:51,016 --> 00:30:53,060 in promoting Deborah Vance as the host of "Late Night," 766 00:30:53,143 --> 00:30:54,853 the clause barring her from performing 767 00:30:54,936 --> 00:30:56,438 is, in fact, enforceable. 768 00:30:56,521 --> 00:30:58,690 A temporary restraining order will be put in place 769 00:30:58,774 --> 00:31:00,442 until a full trial can be set. 770 00:31:00,525 --> 00:31:03,445 This is a huge loss for Ms. Vance and her team. 771 00:31:03,487 --> 00:31:05,781 We'll be covering... - Deborah, Deborah! 772 00:31:05,864 --> 00:31:07,866 Okay, give us some space, please. 773 00:31:07,949 --> 00:31:10,285 Just stay back. 774 00:31:10,327 --> 00:31:12,954 Free speech is under attack in this country. 775 00:31:13,038 --> 00:31:15,123 And today I have been told that I cannot so much 776 00:31:15,207 --> 00:31:17,709 as perform one single joke, 777 00:31:17,793 --> 00:31:19,461 or I will go to jail. 778 00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:21,880 But they can't censor me forever. 779 00:31:21,963 --> 00:31:23,840 The moment that my contract expires, 780 00:31:23,924 --> 00:31:25,467 I will be speaking my truth. 781 00:31:25,550 --> 00:31:29,304 In fact, I'll be shouting it at my comeback show 782 00:31:29,346 --> 00:31:31,681 at the world's most famous arena, 783 00:31:31,765 --> 00:31:34,101 Madison Square Garden. 784 00:31:34,184 --> 00:31:35,852 Thank you. 785 00:31:35,936 --> 00:31:37,854 - Excuse us, guys. Excuse us, please. 786 00:31:37,938 --> 00:31:41,858 Back it up. Back up. Give us some room. Thank you. 787 00:31:41,942 --> 00:31:44,319 The Garden? - Yep. 788 00:31:44,361 --> 00:31:46,321 It's the ultimate win for a comedian. 789 00:31:46,405 --> 00:31:47,989 And if I sell it out, 790 00:31:48,031 --> 00:31:49,991 I'll be one of only a handful who've ever done it. 791 00:31:50,075 --> 00:31:51,618 And that will be my legacy. 792 00:31:51,701 --> 00:31:53,912 You know, for a woman who can't be on camera, 793 00:31:53,995 --> 00:31:56,915 you just got a lot of airtime. - Mm-hmm. 794 00:31:56,998 --> 00:31:59,584 Wait, you leaked that video, didn't you? 795 00:31:59,668 --> 00:32:01,920 - No. - I did. 796 00:32:02,003 --> 00:32:03,505 That was a great pitch. 797 00:32:03,588 --> 00:32:06,133 - We had to announce somehow. - Hmm. 798 00:32:06,216 --> 00:32:09,511 Oh, my God. 799 00:32:09,594 --> 00:32:11,847 ♪ I ain't been licked ♪ 800 00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:14,516 ♪ No, no, no ♪ 801 00:32:14,558 --> 00:32:17,018 ♪ I ain't been licked ♪ 802 00:32:17,060 --> 00:32:19,020 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 803 00:32:19,062 --> 00:32:21,523 ♪ I ain't been licked ♪ 804 00:32:21,565 --> 00:32:24,109 ♪ No, no, no ♪ 805 00:32:24,192 --> 00:32:26,194 ♪ I ain't been licked ♪ 806 00:32:26,236 --> 00:32:28,822 ♪ Ooh, no, no ♪ 807 00:32:28,905 --> 00:32:31,700 ♪ I ain't been licked ♪ 808 00:32:31,783 --> 00:32:33,326 ♪ Tell 'em for me ♪ 809 00:32:33,410 --> 00:32:36,204 ♪ I ain't been licked ♪ 810 00:32:36,288 --> 00:32:38,540 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 811 00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:43,378 ♪ Like out of nowhere, my whole world fell apart ♪ 812 00:32:43,420 --> 00:32:45,547 ♪ Till this day, no one knows ♪ 813 00:32:45,630 --> 00:32:48,383 ♪ What I felt in my heart ♪ 814 00:32:48,425 --> 00:32:53,180 ♪ All those precious things inside me tried to still ♪ 815 00:32:53,221 --> 00:32:57,184 ♪ Hands I thought would help pushed me over the hill ♪ 816 00:32:57,267 --> 00:33:00,562 ♪ Keep a-holding me down, but I rise ♪ 817 00:33:00,645 --> 00:33:02,397 ♪ Yes, it can be done ♪ 818 00:33:02,439 --> 00:33:05,400 ♪ Keep a-holding me down, but I rise ♪ 819 00:33:05,442 --> 00:33:07,402 ♪ They can't make me run ♪ 820 00:33:07,444 --> 00:33:10,405 ♪ Keep a-holding me down, but I rise ♪ 821 00:33:10,447 --> 00:33:12,407 ♪ Got my second wind ♪ 822 00:33:12,449 --> 00:33:15,202 ♪ Keep a-holding me down, but I rise ♪ 823 00:33:15,285 --> 00:33:17,204 ♪ Tell 'em I'm back again ♪ 824 00:33:17,245 --> 00:33:20,415 ♪ Just say ♪ - ♪ I ain't been licked ♪ 825 00:33:20,457 --> 00:33:22,834 ♪ I ain't been licked, oh, no ♪ 826 00:33:22,918 --> 00:33:25,003 ♪ I ain't been licked ♪ 827 00:33:25,086 --> 00:33:27,422 ♪ No, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 828 00:33:27,464 --> 00:33:30,425 ♪ I ain't been licked ♪ 829 00:33:30,467 --> 00:33:32,427 ♪ Tell 'em for me ♪ 830 00:33:32,469 --> 00:33:34,971 ♪ I ain't been licked ♪ 831 00:33:35,055 --> 00:33:37,933 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh, yeah ♪