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00:00:12,677 --> 00:00:15,472
No. Naughty. Naughty!
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00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:17,094
Cravensworth's Monster has entered
3
00:00:17,095 --> 00:00:19,614
a remarkable new phase of development.
4
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He's horny.
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00:00:20,996 --> 00:00:22,787
- No.
- For a creature
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entirely cobbled together
7
00:00:24,447 --> 00:00:25,689
with cadaver parts...
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00:00:25,690 --> 00:00:27,760
- Naughty boy. Down. Down, boy.
- ... his drive to fornicate...
9
00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:29,762
- is phenomenal.
- Okay, just make it quick then.
10
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Like I said, he's horny.
11
00:00:31,660 --> 00:00:34,662
So, we have decided this
monster needs a bride.
12
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So, we've started building
him a bride, but with the...
13
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And now he's going to
town on himself again.
14
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Oh, fuck. Stay in the two shot, please.
15
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He... He's got his
hand in the cookie jar!
16
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Stop fucking doing that.
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00:00:48,051 --> 00:00:49,637
Now, where were we?
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00:00:49,648 --> 00:00:51,799
Dude's horny.
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- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.addic7ed.com -
20
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Guillermo and I have decided
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to join forces to fight crime together.
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Technically, I have not
agreed to that yet.
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00:01:35,575 --> 00:01:37,438
Do you not like the
crime-fighting outfit
24
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I got you for your secret identity?
25
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Are you ready, Cowboy Kid?
Then let's clean up this city.
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Very nice.
27
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I don't think anyone's gonna
be afraid of Kid Cowboy.
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They will when his partner shows up.
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And who are you supposed to be again?
30
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They call me "The Phantom Menace."
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No.
32
00:02:00,523 --> 00:02:02,524
- That's already taken.
- Shit.
33
00:02:02,525 --> 00:02:04,526
We will track down evildoers
34
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from our secret underground lair.
35
00:02:08,669 --> 00:02:11,326
Wow. Look at that.
36
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Where-Where exactly is this lair?
37
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Deep, deep under the ground,
like, a thousand feet
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- down under the house.
- Uh-huh.
39
00:02:19,069 --> 00:02:20,932
Now, there will be
a secret lever on my coffin.
40
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When I pull it, the floor opens up
41
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and the coffin goes
down like an elevator.
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That's cool.
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00:02:30,035 --> 00:02:32,796
- Mmm. Thank you.
- I don't think you need a lair though.
44
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And where am I supposed to
put my "super compuder," hmm?
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- Your what?
- My "super compuder."
46
00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:39,975
The lair is really the best bit.
47
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Sounds fun, but I think
I know how this ends up.
48
00:02:42,358 --> 00:02:44,048
This ends up with me doing all the work.
49
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It's gonna be equal partnership.
50
00:02:45,706 --> 00:02:47,707
- How so?
- You do some stuff.
51
00:02:47,708 --> 00:02:49,220
- Got it.
- I do some stuff.
52
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Great. Settled.
53
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Then if I am too busy, then
you can do some of my stuff.
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There it is.
55
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We've assembled about
90% of the monster's bride-to-be,
56
00:03:01,135 --> 00:03:03,481
but once again we need the right head.
57
00:03:03,482 --> 00:03:06,415
Fortunately, the monster
has shown us his preference.
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He's made it pretty
obvious which way he swings.
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For you, milady.
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00:03:11,664 --> 00:03:13,215
Right. It appears our monster
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has just torn off his own penis
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and presented it to The Guide as a gift.
63
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Again.
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This dude loves The
Guide, but so does Nandor.
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And so, we've asked Nadja to see
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if he would mind if
The Guide... you know.
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Hmm, how do I put this?
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00:03:29,464 --> 00:03:32,614
I mean, I do think that
there is a part of The Guide
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that does love Nandor.
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So, how's about with the
parts that don't love you,
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maybe we do something else with those?
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Sorry, what? What do you mean by that?
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We're hoping he won't object
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if The Guide donated her head
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for the creation of the bride
of Cravensworth's Monster.
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And her... her...
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And her... boobs.
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I mean, most of her attributes and...
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- They're saying we're done.
- What's that?
80
00:03:59,825 --> 00:04:02,230
- I think we've got everything we need.
- All right.
81
00:04:02,231 --> 00:04:03,646
- Absolutely. Good stuff.
- Yeah.
82
00:04:04,302 --> 00:04:06,579
If you had to pick
a part that you wanted...
83
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,857
Sorry, but we think we have all we need.
84
00:04:08,858 --> 00:04:10,341
- Sure.
- Oh, okay, yeah. Um...
85
00:04:10,342 --> 00:04:11,653
No problemo.
86
00:04:11,654 --> 00:04:12,833
Take my mic off over there.
87
00:04:12,844 --> 00:04:14,258
- Have a good one.
- Cheers.
88
00:04:14,484 --> 00:04:16,140
Thank you.
89
00:04:16,141 --> 00:04:18,343
- No, thank you.
- There we go.
90
00:04:20,525 --> 00:04:21,664
Sorry. Excuse me.
91
00:04:22,745 --> 00:04:24,642
- Hey.
- Wassup.
92
00:04:24,643 --> 00:04:26,299
What's going on?
93
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:29,751
I just heard the crew saying
the documentary's ending.
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- Like, what?
- Well, it has been six years, Guillermo.
95
00:04:32,164 --> 00:04:33,578
They said they have enough footage now.
96
00:04:33,756 --> 00:04:35,999
But why? We're in the
middle of everything and...
97
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,070
That's it? Like, it's done?
98
00:04:38,071 --> 00:04:40,348
Well, you know, all good
things must come to an end.
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00:04:40,349 --> 00:04:42,800
- Preach.
- Does anyone else feel a draft in here?
100
00:04:43,007 --> 00:04:44,352
I felt something.
101
00:04:44,353 --> 00:04:46,203
Okay, what are we doing?
What's our game plan here?
102
00:04:46,214 --> 00:04:47,801
We could throw another
log on the fireplace and...
103
00:04:48,012 --> 00:04:51,170
- No, not that.
- Or wrap ourselves up in a cozy quilt?
104
00:04:51,181 --> 00:04:53,326
No. You guys, don't you think it's
weird that we've been doing this,
105
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:54,880
and it's all of a sudden just ending?
106
00:04:54,881 --> 00:04:57,296
Just, poof, it's just done?
It all ends? What?
107
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,229
This is not the end of anything.
108
00:04:59,230 --> 00:05:01,196
We will keep doing what we always do.
109
00:05:01,197 --> 00:05:03,889
It's just these, um,
camera microphone people
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00:05:03,890 --> 00:05:05,407
will no longer be filming it.
111
00:05:05,408 --> 00:05:07,030
That's what I'm talking about.
112
00:05:07,031 --> 00:05:09,204
We've been doing this for so
long. Like, years of our lives.
113
00:05:09,205 --> 00:05:10,723
You guys don't think
it's a little weird...
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00:05:10,724 --> 00:05:12,312
Laszlo!
115
00:05:13,416 --> 00:05:15,003
Maybe not quite now.
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00:05:15,004 --> 00:05:16,660
Guillermo clearly needs
his diaper changing.
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I'm not wearing a diaper.
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00:05:17,938 --> 00:05:19,628
It's just that it's so sudden.
119
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When were you gonna tell me, by the way?
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Were you gonna tell me? Am
I the last person to know?
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00:05:22,943 --> 00:05:24,599
All of a sudden it's just pfft.
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00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,740
- It's hardly gone "pfft," Guillermo.
- Okay.
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00:05:27,741 --> 00:05:29,052
The crew will be filming for at least
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00:05:29,053 --> 00:05:31,226
another couple of hours
to get some B-rolls.
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- You're leaving in a couple of hours?
- Yes, at sunrise.
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00:05:33,643 --> 00:05:35,472
Ooh, ooh, ooh. That reminds me.
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Get some B-roll footage of
me reading this big book.
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00:05:38,752 --> 00:05:40,580
Uh, Guillermo, hello.
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00:05:40,581 --> 00:05:42,617
Two hours is more than
enough to finish anything
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00:05:42,618 --> 00:05:44,757
you could possibly want
to do for the cameras.
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00:05:44,758 --> 00:05:46,621
You want to do a little
show-and-tell for us?
132
00:05:46,622 --> 00:05:49,279
Or maybe, uh, you could
sing a little song.
133
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My lady wife's right.
Sing a little song.
134
00:05:51,144 --> 00:05:52,454
Do a little dance.
135
00:05:52,455 --> 00:05:54,215
Yeah, and do a jig. Come on, jig.
136
00:05:54,216 --> 00:05:56,113
Come on, boy. Dance!
137
00:05:56,114 --> 00:05:58,081
It's hot in here. I'm
gonna get fresh air.
138
00:05:58,082 --> 00:06:00,255
- You've got the best moves.
- Do a dance!
139
00:06:00,256 --> 00:06:02,810
- Dance! Dance! Dance! Dance!
- Dance, boy.
140
00:06:02,811 --> 00:06:05,191
- Shake it.
- Bye, bitch.
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00:06:05,192 --> 00:06:07,953
- Nandor. A private moment, please.
- Hmm?
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00:06:07,954 --> 00:06:09,714
- Come on.
- Excuse us.
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00:06:13,062 --> 00:06:14,925
You need to go talk to Guillermo now.
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00:06:14,926 --> 00:06:16,616
I was doing my B-roll!
145
00:06:16,617 --> 00:06:18,860
What about this, guys?
Is this good for the edit?
146
00:06:18,861 --> 00:06:21,069
- Hmm.
- Nandor! Listen to me!
147
00:06:21,070 --> 00:06:23,658
I have actually learned a
lot about human psychology
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00:06:23,659 --> 00:06:26,178
from doing my, uh, big Wall Street job.
149
00:06:26,179 --> 00:06:28,870
And I can tell that
Guillermo is actually very sad
150
00:06:28,871 --> 00:06:30,458
about the documentary ending.
151
00:06:30,459 --> 00:06:32,529
Eh, he will get over it.
152
00:06:32,530 --> 00:06:33,875
Or maybe he won't.
153
00:06:33,876 --> 00:06:36,533
I guess we'll never know.
Kidding. We will know.
154
00:06:36,534 --> 00:06:38,984
But you will not because
you didn't bother filming it.
155
00:06:38,985 --> 00:06:40,123
Don't be rude.
156
00:06:40,124 --> 00:06:42,021
What about... Yes.
157
00:06:42,022 --> 00:06:44,852
Something like, uh... How's
this? Is this anything?
158
00:06:44,853 --> 00:06:47,302
Nandor! I'm serious.
159
00:06:47,303 --> 00:06:50,409
These last six years are the
only slightly exciting thing
160
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,136
to ever happen to Guillermo
in his whole sad life.
161
00:06:53,137 --> 00:06:55,414
- What?
- You know, it is like, the cameras
162
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,933
pretending to film him.
163
00:06:56,934 --> 00:07:00,177
It made him feel like he
was as important as we are.
164
00:07:00,178 --> 00:07:02,110
It's like when you put a
little raincoat on a dog,
165
00:07:02,111 --> 00:07:03,491
and the dog is walking around thinking,
166
00:07:03,492 --> 00:07:05,873
"Oh, woof, woof. I'm
like a little human.
167
00:07:05,874 --> 00:07:07,426
I've got a coat on."
168
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,221
But they're not. They're
just a little shit dog.
169
00:07:09,222 --> 00:07:10,601
That is Guillermo,
170
00:07:10,602 --> 00:07:12,707
and he's not going to
have any of that anymore.
171
00:07:12,708 --> 00:07:15,054
But I'm sure something interesting
172
00:07:15,055 --> 00:07:16,677
will happen to Guillermo eventually.
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00:07:19,094 --> 00:07:22,373
Fine. I will fix.
174
00:07:23,961 --> 00:07:26,032
How are you guys doing with
this whole thing ending?
175
00:07:26,618 --> 00:07:28,897
Do you need to talk to
someone? Or... 'Cause I'm here.
176
00:07:34,505 --> 00:07:35,519
There, there, buddy.
177
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:36,710
Listen, you know I'm not
178
00:07:36,711 --> 00:07:39,748
the most sentimental SOB on the planet,
179
00:07:39,749 --> 00:07:42,475
but, uh, one time when I was down,
180
00:07:42,476 --> 00:07:44,580
a wise man said something
181
00:07:44,581 --> 00:07:47,238
that really put it all into perspective.
182
00:07:47,239 --> 00:07:48,826
What'd he say?
183
00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:53,970
Don't cry because it's over.
Smile because it happened.
184
00:07:54,695 --> 00:07:57,421
I think I read that on
a mug, but thank you.
185
00:07:57,422 --> 00:07:58,801
- That's very nice.
- Sure.
186
00:07:58,802 --> 00:08:00,562
Knock-knock. Knock-knock, knocking.
187
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:03,668
Colin Robinson, would you mind
if I had a word with Guillermo?
188
00:08:03,669 --> 00:08:04,947
No, not at all. We're done.
189
00:08:05,602 --> 00:08:06,913
Thank you, Colin.
190
00:08:06,914 --> 00:08:08,536
Yeah, don't... don't hug me.
191
00:08:09,537 --> 00:08:13,161
Guillermo, I know that this
is a big change for you.
192
00:08:13,162 --> 00:08:15,922
But in life, we always
go through big changes.
193
00:08:15,923 --> 00:08:18,373
For example, when I was a young boy,
194
00:08:18,374 --> 00:08:20,547
my favorite color was red.
195
00:08:20,548 --> 00:08:24,517
But now my favorite color is orange.
196
00:08:24,518 --> 00:08:27,209
- Sorry, just remembered one thing.
- Yeah.
197
00:08:27,210 --> 00:08:30,592
It's not the number of breaths we take,
198
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:34,183
but the number of moments
that take our breath away.
199
00:08:34,769 --> 00:08:36,046
That's nice. Thank you.
200
00:08:36,253 --> 00:08:37,473
All right. Later.
201
00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:39,739
Goodbyes are hard.
202
00:08:39,740 --> 00:08:40,982
Yeah.
203
00:08:40,983 --> 00:08:43,122
I once waved farewell
204
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,952
to a departing train
for over three hours,
205
00:08:45,953 --> 00:08:48,817
and then I realized that
it wasn't a train at all.
206
00:08:48,818 --> 00:08:51,890
It was a flatbed truck
full of port-a-potties.
207
00:08:52,477 --> 00:08:54,547
- One more quick one.
- I'm talking here!
208
00:08:54,548 --> 00:08:57,205
"We laughed until we had to cry.
209
00:08:57,206 --> 00:09:02,072
We loved right down to our
last goodbye. We were the best."
210
00:09:02,073 --> 00:09:05,766
St. Elmo's Fire, 1985. Okay, later.
211
00:09:07,009 --> 00:09:09,943
Guillermo, things end!
212
00:09:10,805 --> 00:09:12,220
And that hurts!
213
00:09:12,221 --> 00:09:14,256
It's just the suddenness of it all.
214
00:09:14,257 --> 00:09:15,775
It's hitting me so quickly, you know?
I just have all these feelings...
215
00:09:15,776 --> 00:09:17,915
- Uh, Guillermo, you're Irish, right?
- No.
216
00:09:17,916 --> 00:09:19,917
Okay, great. Then you probably
haven't heard this one.
217
00:09:19,918 --> 00:09:22,782
"May the road rise up to meet you.
218
00:09:22,783 --> 00:09:25,578
May the wind be always at your back.
219
00:09:25,579 --> 00:09:28,236
May the sun... " Fuck,
I always forget this part.
220
00:09:28,237 --> 00:09:30,134
Yeah, why don't you think about
it and come back? Or just not.
221
00:09:30,135 --> 00:09:31,274
All right. I'll leave you guys to it.
222
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:36,416
Where was I? I can't even
remember what the fuck I was saying.
223
00:09:36,417 --> 00:09:39,764
You were saying that...
goodbyes are hard.
224
00:09:39,765 --> 00:09:42,491
Yes. So why don't you
stop being a little bitch?
225
00:09:42,492 --> 00:09:44,631
Come downstairs and
we can all be together
226
00:09:44,632 --> 00:09:46,426
during your hour of need.
227
00:09:46,427 --> 00:09:49,015
House meeting! House meeting!
228
00:09:49,016 --> 00:09:50,603
Oh, good. You are all here.
229
00:09:50,604 --> 00:09:51,673
- Excellent.
- Excuse me.
230
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:54,469
Uh... House meeting item number one.
231
00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:58,059
I want to talk about
general hygiene in the cell.
232
00:09:58,060 --> 00:09:59,992
Please finish a whole victim first
233
00:09:59,993 --> 00:10:02,442
before moving on to the next one, okay?
234
00:10:02,443 --> 00:10:03,616
- Oh, yeah. That's nasty.
- Copy that.
235
00:10:03,617 --> 00:10:05,963
- Shove it up your asshole.
- Just do it.
236
00:10:05,964 --> 00:10:08,034
What else do we have here? Oh, yes.
237
00:10:08,035 --> 00:10:10,105
House meeting item number two.
238
00:10:10,106 --> 00:10:11,520
It has come to my attention
239
00:10:11,521 --> 00:10:14,489
that Guillermo has become very emotional
240
00:10:14,490 --> 00:10:16,491
because the documentary is ending.
241
00:10:16,492 --> 00:10:19,149
- No, I'll be fine. Thank you.
- You're not fine.
242
00:10:19,150 --> 00:10:20,391
- I'm fine.
- You're a blubbering mess.
243
00:10:20,392 --> 00:10:22,083
And I think we should discuss it.
244
00:10:22,084 --> 00:10:25,017
Gizmo has become addicted to
the limelight, quite obviously.
245
00:10:25,018 --> 00:10:26,535
What? No, I haven't.
246
00:10:26,536 --> 00:10:29,055
He is but a walking
shadow, a poor player,
247
00:10:29,056 --> 00:10:31,885
who struts and frets
his hour upon the stage
248
00:10:31,886 --> 00:10:34,027
and then is heard no more.
249
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,650
Laszlo, that is so profound.
250
00:10:37,651 --> 00:10:40,066
Thank you very much. I just
thought of it a second ago.
251
00:10:40,067 --> 00:10:42,448
You know what? One time
I did see Guillermo take
252
00:10:42,449 --> 00:10:45,175
a little can of Pringles
253
00:10:45,176 --> 00:10:48,454
off the table of snacks that
the documentary crew uses.
254
00:10:48,455 --> 00:10:50,318
So, maybe he's worried
255
00:10:50,319 --> 00:10:52,665
that he won't be able
to steal food anymore.
256
00:10:52,666 --> 00:10:54,149
Not stealing.
257
00:10:54,150 --> 00:10:56,738
No, he's sad because he
has to end his secret affair
258
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:58,222
with Nate, the boom operator.
259
00:10:58,223 --> 00:11:00,086
- What?
- Guillermo, you dirty dog.
260
00:11:00,087 --> 00:11:02,502
You know, another time
I saw Guillermo take
261
00:11:02,503 --> 00:11:04,711
as many Tic Tacs as he
could fit in his hands.
262
00:11:04,712 --> 00:11:06,334
Okay.
263
00:11:06,335 --> 00:11:08,508
You people know nothing
about human psychologies.
264
00:11:08,509 --> 00:11:10,372
Guillermo is afraid
265
00:11:10,373 --> 00:11:13,479
that he has wasted 16
years of his life serving us
266
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:15,481
and it has prevented him from growing
267
00:11:15,482 --> 00:11:17,138
- or changing in any way.
- Good point.
268
00:11:17,139 --> 00:11:19,726
The ending of this
documentary is giving him
269
00:11:19,727 --> 00:11:22,246
a preview of the ending of
his own frail, human life.
270
00:11:22,247 --> 00:11:24,938
Does that sound right,
Gizmo? Does that resonate?
271
00:11:24,939 --> 00:11:27,493
I think the question that
Gizmo is asking himself is,
272
00:11:27,494 --> 00:11:29,668
"To be or not to be?"
273
00:11:29,875 --> 00:11:34,948
Because that is the question
Gizmo is asking himself.
274
00:11:34,949 --> 00:11:36,122
So eloquent.
275
00:11:36,123 --> 00:11:37,675
Again, just off the top of my head.
276
00:11:37,676 --> 00:11:40,092
Just gonna circle back
to what I was saying.
277
00:11:40,093 --> 00:11:41,231
Guillermo is very worried
278
00:11:41,232 --> 00:11:43,543
that he will feel equally as unfulfilled
279
00:11:43,544 --> 00:11:45,407
by his own life's journey and meaning.
280
00:11:45,408 --> 00:11:46,615
Be well, everyone.
281
00:11:46,616 --> 00:11:47,892
- It's not.
- I know what it is.
282
00:11:47,893 --> 00:11:50,516
It's Greg, the A-camera
operator, right?
283
00:11:50,517 --> 00:11:52,311
Is it Greg, the A-camera operator,
284
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,071
that you've been secretly fucking?
285
00:11:54,072 --> 00:11:56,211
- No.
- And does Nate, the boom operator,
286
00:11:56,212 --> 00:11:58,317
- know about this?
- I'm not having affairs with anyone.
287
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:01,837
Or is it Frank the grip
that looks a lot like Nandor?
288
00:12:01,838 --> 00:12:04,254
- He doesn't look like me.
- No, that's not it.
289
00:12:04,255 --> 00:12:05,565
No. No offense.
290
00:12:05,566 --> 00:12:06,980
You must get upset
that things end, right?
291
00:12:06,981 --> 00:12:09,880
Wouldn't mind if this
house meeting ended soon.
292
00:12:09,881 --> 00:12:11,606
So what if the documentary ends?
293
00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:14,056
Before you know it,
a new documentary crew
294
00:12:14,057 --> 00:12:16,749
will come in and make a whole
new documentary about us.
295
00:12:16,750 --> 00:12:19,096
Well, that seems highly unlikely.
296
00:12:19,097 --> 00:12:21,995
Excuse me. This is not
even the first documentary
297
00:12:21,996 --> 00:12:23,657
that was made about us.
298
00:12:24,102 --> 00:12:25,138
What?
299
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,556
House meeting! House meeting!
300
00:12:30,557 --> 00:12:33,179
Oh, good. You are all here. Excellent.
301
00:12:33,180 --> 00:12:36,665
Right. Uh, house
meeting item number one.
302
00:12:36,666 --> 00:12:40,324
I want to talk about
general hygiene in the cell.
303
00:12:40,325 --> 00:12:42,844
Please, please, please
finish a whole victim
304
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,949
before moving on to the next, okay?
305
00:12:46,814 --> 00:12:48,746
Well, I wouldn't have to keep
saying it if we just did it.
306
00:12:48,747 --> 00:12:50,714
Jerry, yes. New business?
307
00:12:50,715 --> 00:12:52,992
Extremely old business.
308
00:12:52,993 --> 00:12:55,512
I really think we need to
start making more progress
309
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:56,996
conquering America.
310
00:12:56,997 --> 00:12:59,032
Um, hello? We have been
making some progress.
311
00:12:59,033 --> 00:13:01,034
We've already got some of Ashley Street.
312
00:13:01,035 --> 00:13:02,484
Laszlo, are you hearing this?
313
00:13:02,485 --> 00:13:04,279
Yes, yes. Very good. Thank you!
314
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:05,832
That's it.
315
00:13:05,833 --> 00:13:07,662
Wait, where are you going?
316
00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:10,009
I'll tell you where I'm going.
I'm going into super-slumber.
317
00:13:10,010 --> 00:13:11,976
- He was always saying that.
- Here we go again.
318
00:13:11,977 --> 00:13:15,014
The cheek on it! Laszlo! Hello?
319
00:13:15,015 --> 00:13:16,291
- Eureka!
- What?
320
00:13:16,292 --> 00:13:19,225
I've got it! Now, if
I increase the voltage
321
00:13:19,226 --> 00:13:21,986
to the diaphragm muscles,
the heart should start beating
322
00:13:21,987 --> 00:13:25,198
of its own accord, much like this.
323
00:13:28,201 --> 00:13:29,373
Oh, fucking hell.
324
00:13:29,374 --> 00:13:31,030
Oh, Laszlo.
325
00:13:31,031 --> 00:13:35,034
Oh, hey. Big article
here on the water main break.
326
00:13:35,035 --> 00:13:37,830
"That was the worst flood
I've seen since the Great Flood
327
00:13:37,831 --> 00:13:42,317
of 1892, says local resident
Nandor Lee, a dentist."
328
00:13:42,318 --> 00:13:44,423
Nandor, you fucking idiot!
329
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,632
Now everyone's going to
know that we are vampires,
330
00:13:46,633 --> 00:13:48,254
and that we've lived here
for hundreds of years.
331
00:13:48,255 --> 00:13:50,394
Everyone grab their disguises.
332
00:13:50,395 --> 00:13:52,500
We've gotta hit the road
before they come for us.
333
00:13:54,123 --> 00:13:56,262
Everybody, grab your go bags!
334
00:13:56,263 --> 00:14:01,060
No! This is where we make
our final sta...
335
00:14:01,061 --> 00:14:03,269
Oh, damn it!
336
00:14:03,270 --> 00:14:05,237
Maybe they don't think we are vampires.
337
00:14:05,238 --> 00:14:07,204
I just said that I'm a dentist.
338
00:14:07,205 --> 00:14:10,828
No, you idiot! You said
"Nandor the Relentless."
339
00:14:10,829 --> 00:14:13,072
They thought you said
"Nandor Lee, a dentist."
340
00:14:13,073 --> 00:14:15,039
Shit.
341
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,696
Who the fuck are you? And how
the fuck did you get in here?
342
00:14:16,697 --> 00:14:19,354
- And a pleasure to meet you, young lady.
- Oh.
343
00:14:19,355 --> 00:14:22,426
My name's Daytona, Jackie Daytona.
344
00:14:22,427 --> 00:14:25,740
And I hail from Tucson.
Tucson, "Arizonia."
345
00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:28,052
Is this guy here to kill us?
346
00:14:28,053 --> 00:14:29,744
It's me, Laszlo!
347
00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:32,298
Oh, Laszlo, did you just
see the very sexy man
348
00:14:32,299 --> 00:14:34,266
from "Arizonia"? That's...
349
00:14:34,267 --> 00:14:36,475
Do you know what? Never mind.
We have to go and hit the road.
350
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:39,409
- Yes, we should.
- No, I surrender to no one!
351
00:14:39,410 --> 00:14:40,858
- Come on!
- I've gotta do one more thing, my darling.
352
00:14:40,859 --> 00:14:42,757
Leave it!
353
00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:45,069
She thinks I'm gonna leave here
without my witch's skin hat.
354
00:14:45,070 --> 00:14:47,244
- Leave it!
- Well, that would be bullshit.
355
00:14:47,245 --> 00:14:48,315
I'm standing my ground!
356
00:14:53,769 --> 00:14:55,839
Wow. Lot of the stuff that happened
357
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,704
while I was here happened before.
358
00:14:58,705 --> 00:15:00,637
I mean, there was no me in there,
359
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,742
but I was having very fun adventure.
360
00:15:02,743 --> 00:15:04,537
So, did the documentary ever come out?
361
00:15:04,538 --> 00:15:06,988
No. They filmed us for ten years,
362
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:09,128
but then they decided
that they didn't have
363
00:15:09,129 --> 00:15:10,440
enough good material.
364
00:15:10,441 --> 00:15:12,580
Yeah. Said it's just a
bunch of boring people
365
00:15:12,581 --> 00:15:14,547
doing the same old shit day after day.
366
00:15:14,548 --> 00:15:17,274
Nothing changes. No one ever grows.
367
00:15:17,275 --> 00:15:19,828
- It's pointless. Yada yada.
- That too.
368
00:15:19,829 --> 00:15:21,658
See, this is what I've been
trying to say, you know?
369
00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:23,107
We've gotten a second chance
370
00:15:23,108 --> 00:15:25,455
to set the record straight
on... on vampire life.
371
00:15:25,456 --> 00:15:27,560
We can't stop filming. Just not now.
372
00:15:27,561 --> 00:15:28,803
They haven't even scratched the surface
373
00:15:28,804 --> 00:15:31,357
you know, of the glory
and majesty of vampirism.
374
00:15:31,358 --> 00:15:33,670
- They haven't even really...
- Guillermo. Guillermo, sweetie.
375
00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:36,535
Would you mind if I use
my deep understanding
376
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:39,710
of human psychologies to
offer up some help for you?
377
00:15:39,711 --> 00:15:41,125
No, thank you. I'm fine, Nadja.
378
00:15:41,126 --> 00:15:42,920
Okay, well I'm gonna do it anyway.
379
00:15:42,921 --> 00:15:45,233
I want you to know that I'm
talking with you, not at you.
380
00:15:45,234 --> 00:15:46,959
- Thank you.
- And I say this with love.
381
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:48,893
It's over!
382
00:15:50,377 --> 00:15:52,345
- Did you receive that, or...
- What?
383
00:15:57,933 --> 00:16:00,990
If you really feel like you
need a special ending to this,
384
00:16:00,991 --> 00:16:02,937
you have about an hour
to make it happen, cap'n.
385
00:16:02,938 --> 00:16:05,180
Actually, now about a half hour.
386
00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:08,494
Why don't you do that little
dance you've been dying to do?
387
00:16:08,495 --> 00:16:10,945
- Then we can call it a night.
- Dance.
388
00:16:10,946 --> 00:16:12,981
- Come on, boy. Dance!
- Dance! Dance! Dance!
389
00:16:12,982 --> 00:16:14,431
Dance! Dance! Dance! Dance!
390
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,537
Stop! We need an ending.
It has to be good! Okay?
391
00:16:16,538 --> 00:16:18,781
It has to be good, and
it has to mean something.
392
00:16:19,575 --> 00:16:21,956
Give viewers emotional closure.
393
00:16:21,957 --> 00:16:23,613
He's absolutely right.
394
00:16:23,614 --> 00:16:26,063
A lot of shows biff it when it
comes to sticking the landing.
395
00:16:26,064 --> 00:16:27,582
I can't tell you how many comments
396
00:16:27,583 --> 00:16:29,619
I've written about this very topic.
397
00:16:29,620 --> 00:16:31,862
Check me out in the discussion threads
398
00:16:31,863 --> 00:16:35,349
on Reddit, IndieWire, Variety, Deadline,
399
00:16:35,350 --> 00:16:40,250
TV Guide, TV Insider, IMDb,
Hollywood Reporter, Den of Geek.
400
00:16:40,251 --> 00:16:43,011
Oh, oh. I just got the perfect ending.
401
00:16:43,012 --> 00:16:44,668
Great.
402
00:16:44,669 --> 00:16:47,533
- Guillermo becomes a vampire.
- Mm-hmm. Fuck me.
403
00:16:47,534 --> 00:16:49,639
We did that already last year.
404
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,813
- Did we?
- Yes, we did.
405
00:16:51,814 --> 00:16:53,401
We turned Guillermo into a vampire,
406
00:16:53,402 --> 00:16:54,816
and then Guillermo decided,
407
00:16:54,817 --> 00:16:56,370
"I don't want to be a vampire anymore."
408
00:16:56,371 --> 00:16:57,405
So we had to turn him back again.
409
00:16:57,406 --> 00:16:58,820
Took fucking ages.
410
00:16:58,821 --> 00:17:00,201
Really should have finished filming
411
00:17:00,202 --> 00:17:01,720
at that point, I think. Great out.
412
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,204
Okay, come on. There has to be something
413
00:17:03,205 --> 00:17:04,723
we've learned over the past six years.
414
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:07,415
You know, how we've grown, life lesson.
415
00:17:07,416 --> 00:17:08,761
What have we learned?
416
00:17:08,762 --> 00:17:10,556
Don't turn Guillermo
into a fucking vampire.
417
00:17:10,557 --> 00:17:12,247
Okay. Anyone else?
418
00:17:12,248 --> 00:17:13,732
Uh...
419
00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,390
A lesson we've learned.
420
00:17:16,805 --> 00:17:18,323
How we've grown, how we've changed.
421
00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:21,292
Right? Anyone?
422
00:17:22,224 --> 00:17:24,052
Laszlo, come on.
You're a man of science,
423
00:17:24,053 --> 00:17:26,227
so surely you must
have learned something.
424
00:17:26,228 --> 00:17:28,056
Oh. All right, then.
425
00:17:28,057 --> 00:17:29,955
* We've had lots of laughs *
426
00:17:29,956 --> 00:17:30,991
Okay.
427
00:17:31,198 --> 00:17:33,061
* Sucked lots of blood *
428
00:17:33,062 --> 00:17:34,718
Yeah.
429
00:17:34,719 --> 00:17:37,618
And then fucked each other
senseless. How's that?
430
00:17:37,619 --> 00:17:39,205
- Very nice.
- Good. It's good.
431
00:17:39,206 --> 00:17:40,897
Anyone else? The Guide.
432
00:17:40,898 --> 00:17:42,519
You know what? Sure,
I think I might have
433
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,418
something to contribute.
434
00:17:44,419 --> 00:17:45,971
- Thank you! Great.
- All right.
435
00:17:45,972 --> 00:17:49,562
So, all of us in this
room are immigrants.
436
00:17:50,148 --> 00:17:52,529
We have come from far-off lands
437
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:55,153
to this New World for a fresh start.
438
00:17:56,258 --> 00:17:58,466
- And even though we're vampires...
- Some of us.
439
00:17:58,467 --> 00:18:01,262
... this country would not
be what it is without us.
440
00:18:01,263 --> 00:18:06,232
And we would not be who we
are without this country.
441
00:18:06,233 --> 00:18:07,406
- Mmm. Yeah.
- Yes.
442
00:18:07,407 --> 00:18:09,132
That's beautiful.
443
00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:13,447
But lately it seems like
there a lot of other immigrants
444
00:18:13,448 --> 00:18:16,242
entering this great country illegally.
445
00:18:16,243 --> 00:18:17,693
- Okay.
- And we cannot...
446
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:19,073
We don't think we
wanna end on that note.
447
00:18:19,074 --> 00:18:20,419
I'm just saying.
448
00:18:20,420 --> 00:18:22,393
- Colin, how 'bout you? What have you learned?
- MAGAFV.
449
00:18:22,404 --> 00:18:23,491
- Well...
- What?
450
00:18:23,492 --> 00:18:24,768
MAGAFV.
451
00:18:24,769 --> 00:18:26,977
Make America great again for vampires.
452
00:18:26,978 --> 00:18:28,634
We gotta...
453
00:18:28,635 --> 00:18:30,429
We need to edit that part out.
And probably burn that thing.
454
00:18:30,430 --> 00:18:31,948
Oh, my big boy.
455
00:18:31,949 --> 00:18:34,916
This really is so much
simpler than you are making it.
456
00:18:34,917 --> 00:18:38,023
If you really need this special ending,
457
00:18:38,024 --> 00:18:39,369
hello, I'm a vampire.
458
00:18:39,370 --> 00:18:40,922
I can just hypnotize
everyone who watches this,
459
00:18:40,923 --> 00:18:42,614
and give them the ending they
would find most satisfying.
460
00:18:42,615 --> 00:18:43,916
How would that even work?
461
00:18:43,927 --> 00:18:44,997
Like this.
462
00:18:45,618 --> 00:18:47,515
You who are watching this,
463
00:18:47,516 --> 00:18:51,415
will now see the most perfect ending
464
00:18:51,416 --> 00:18:57,664
you could possibly imagine with
your simple little human minds.
465
00:19:02,255 --> 00:19:03,498
Honey.
466
00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:08,538
Honey, wake up.
467
00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:11,678
- You won't believe the dream I just had.
- Mmm.
468
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:14,819
Don't you wanna hear about it?
469
00:19:25,209 --> 00:19:27,452
All right, Nandor. What is it?
470
00:19:28,488 --> 00:19:33,665
I was a vampire, and I lived
with a bunch of other vampires
471
00:19:33,666 --> 00:19:35,391
in this old house in Staten Island.
472
00:19:36,772 --> 00:19:39,085
I'm happy for you. Good night.
473
00:19:39,844 --> 00:19:42,744
Nothing. Nothing made
sense in this place.
474
00:19:44,055 --> 00:19:45,815
There was this vampire couple.
475
00:19:45,816 --> 00:19:49,544
He was, like, a old-timey,
British type guy.
476
00:19:50,234 --> 00:19:54,376
And his wife was from this
small Mediterranean island.
477
00:19:55,377 --> 00:19:56,653
And she was, like,
478
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:59,968
super aggressive and cleverer than me
479
00:20:03,005 --> 00:20:04,903
And there was this bald guy who was,
480
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:05,939
like, really boring...
481
00:20:08,010 --> 00:20:09,296
but on purpose.
482
00:20:11,289 --> 00:20:14,395
And you were, like,
my butler or something.
483
00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:17,156
Well, that settles it.
484
00:20:17,157 --> 00:20:19,607
No more Japanese food
before you go to bed.
485
00:20:20,115 --> 00:20:21,233
Good night.
486
00:20:29,549 --> 00:20:32,689
And we were all having sex
with each other all the time.
487
00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:34,140
Not with you, Guillermo.
488
00:20:34,727 --> 00:20:36,451
Go back to sleep.
489
00:20:36,452 --> 00:20:38,075
Good night, honey.
490
00:20:48,847 --> 00:20:51,695
So will the hypnosis work?
491
00:20:51,696 --> 00:20:53,338
Probably. Maybe.
492
00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:55,893
I mean, I did use very
extra powerful hypnosis.
493
00:20:55,894 --> 00:20:57,066
So anyone who watches,
494
00:20:57,067 --> 00:20:59,552
its IQ will drop by ten to 20 points
495
00:20:59,553 --> 00:21:01,036
due to the brain scramblies.
496
00:21:01,037 --> 00:21:03,348
But that's the price of business,
497
00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:04,661
is it not?
498
00:21:05,766 --> 00:21:08,940
I, uh... I actually have
something I'd like to say
499
00:21:08,941 --> 00:21:13,462
regarding what I've learned
these past few years.
500
00:21:13,463 --> 00:21:15,602
We're born into families,
501
00:21:15,603 --> 00:21:18,916
and-and my family
wasn't... wasn't great.
502
00:21:18,917 --> 00:21:22,368
But we also have our chosen families.
503
00:21:23,404 --> 00:21:27,200
Uh, people who we choose
to surround ourselves with.
504
00:21:27,201 --> 00:21:29,652
They may not be your blood relatives
505
00:21:29,859 --> 00:21:33,447
but they look out for you
and you look out for them.
506
00:21:33,448 --> 00:21:34,863
Mmm.
507
00:21:34,864 --> 00:21:37,660
And they accept you for who you are
508
00:21:37,867 --> 00:21:41,421
and lift you up when you're down.
509
00:21:41,422 --> 00:21:45,288
Being here tonight with you
guys makes me realize, um...
510
00:21:46,427 --> 00:21:47,910
There, there.
511
00:21:47,911 --> 00:21:53,433
Makes me realize how much I
dearly miss my chosen family,
512
00:21:53,434 --> 00:21:57,644
who all died in a
steamboat accident in 1906,
513
00:21:57,645 --> 00:22:00,647
leaving me with no choice but to
hang out with you stinky turds.
514
00:22:00,648 --> 00:22:02,718
Okay, you know what? I tried and...
515
00:22:02,719 --> 00:22:04,652
No. You know what,
Guillermo? You're right.
516
00:22:05,446 --> 00:22:06,689
This is an important moment
517
00:22:06,896 --> 00:22:09,139
and it requires important
words. Excuse me?
518
00:22:09,933 --> 00:22:13,073
I too, like Colin
Robinson, have been thinking
519
00:22:13,074 --> 00:22:17,112
not just about this
world but my own life.
520
00:22:17,113 --> 00:22:20,081
From my humble beginnings as
a foot soldier in Al Quolanudar
521
00:22:20,737 --> 00:22:23,256
to my reign of terror
as a great warrior,
522
00:22:23,257 --> 00:22:27,640
pillaging and killing
whilst riding my horse, John.
523
00:22:27,641 --> 00:22:29,089
From becoming a vampire
524
00:22:29,090 --> 00:22:31,333
to arriving in this land of plenty.
525
00:22:31,334 --> 00:22:33,162
I've lived a full life,
526
00:22:33,163 --> 00:22:35,302
but there's always
been something missing
527
00:22:35,303 --> 00:22:38,686
and it is now that I realize
what that something is:
528
00:22:40,308 --> 00:22:43,310
An underground crime fighting lair
529
00:22:43,311 --> 00:22:46,418
accessible only by an
elevator coffin thingy.
530
00:22:46,625 --> 00:22:49,489
Now, hear me out, use
a lever in the coffin,
531
00:22:49,490 --> 00:22:50,905
- you pull it, the floor opens up...
- Okay.
532
00:22:51,112 --> 00:22:52,251
- ... and the coffin...
- Okay. Okay.
533
00:22:52,458 --> 00:22:54,390
I'm talking here.
534
00:22:54,391 --> 00:22:56,410
Well, I feel like you've only thought
about this for the last two weeks.
535
00:22:57,049 --> 00:22:58,740
Thank you for shitting on my dream.
536
00:22:58,741 --> 00:22:59,914
- I wasn't sh...
- In fact, you know,
537
00:23:00,121 --> 00:23:01,674
that's a really good
name for this documentary.
538
00:23:01,675 --> 00:23:03,537
Thank You For Shitting
All Over My Dream.
539
00:23:03,538 --> 00:23:04,680
Okay, fine. You know what?
540
00:23:04,691 --> 00:23:06,333
- I'm out.
- Wait. No, Guillermo.
541
00:23:06,334 --> 00:23:07,783
Why don't you tell us
what you've learned?
542
00:23:07,784 --> 00:23:09,543
Better still, why don't
you tell it in song?
543
00:23:09,544 --> 00:23:11,960
Oh, yes. And you could
do a little dance as well.
544
00:23:11,961 --> 00:23:13,547
- Yeah, and a jig. Do a jig.
- Dance, boy.
545
00:23:13,548 --> 00:23:15,411
Dance. Dance. Dance.
546
00:23:15,412 --> 00:23:16,965
Dance. Dance. Dance. Dance.
547
00:23:16,966 --> 00:23:20,554
Silence! There'll be no
dancing or jigging or singing.
548
00:23:20,555 --> 00:23:22,833
Guillermo, you have the
floor. Speak from the heart.
549
00:23:22,834 --> 00:23:24,420
Okay.
550
00:23:24,421 --> 00:23:25,663
I believe in you.
551
00:23:25,664 --> 00:23:27,700
- Thank you.
- Make it good.
552
00:23:27,701 --> 00:23:29,046
- I guess...
- To the camera.
553
00:23:29,047 --> 00:23:30,289
Okay.
554
00:23:30,496 --> 00:23:31,532
- I guess...
- To that camera.
555
00:23:34,535 --> 00:23:35,948
- I guess...
- Don't biff it.
556
00:23:36,571 --> 00:23:38,159
So...
557
00:23:39,298 --> 00:23:41,299
I guess I came to this house
558
00:23:41,300 --> 00:23:43,717
because I wanted to be a vampire.
559
00:23:44,614 --> 00:23:46,064
And I became one.
560
00:23:47,237 --> 00:23:48,652
Well, briefly.
561
00:23:48,825 --> 00:23:50,931
It just wasn't for me, um...
562
00:23:52,208 --> 00:23:53,554
But I stayed in the house.
563
00:23:54,624 --> 00:23:55,797
And why did I stay?
564
00:23:55,798 --> 00:23:58,385
Well... I mean, for 16 years,
565
00:23:58,386 --> 00:24:01,354
I was chasing this dream, you know?
566
00:24:01,355 --> 00:24:04,737
- And when that dream was gone...
- Shit.
567
00:24:04,738 --> 00:24:05,841
... I still stayed.
568
00:24:05,842 --> 00:24:07,705
My darling. What is he doing?
569
00:24:07,706 --> 00:24:09,396
- I think humans like to think...
- He's fucking that bear.
570
00:24:09,397 --> 00:24:11,260
- ... that we have thousands of roads...
- Can you make him stop?
571
00:24:11,261 --> 00:24:12,848
we can choose from, right?
572
00:24:12,849 --> 00:24:14,850
- I don't think I can.
- We only have two, really.
573
00:24:14,851 --> 00:24:16,956
- He'll stop when he's finished.
- You're only always leaving home...
574
00:24:16,957 --> 00:24:19,441
- If you know what I mean.
- ... or you always coming back to home.
575
00:24:19,442 --> 00:24:21,201
I don't mind
that he's humping the bear...
576
00:24:21,202 --> 00:24:22,893
What is home? I'm glad you asked.
577
00:24:22,894 --> 00:24:24,549
He's making eye contact
with me directly while he does it.
578
00:24:24,550 --> 00:24:26,241
Home is essentially
where your friends are.
579
00:24:26,242 --> 00:24:27,898
- Friends...
- Don't make eye contact...
580
00:24:27,899 --> 00:24:29,727
You able to hear me? Is
the mic gonna pick it up?
581
00:24:29,728 --> 00:24:32,419
- I was talking about friends...
- Guide lady, look me.
582
00:24:32,420 --> 00:24:34,801
- ... who are there to build you up, you know?
- Worth a try.
583
00:24:34,802 --> 00:24:37,114
They are there to support
you. They weren't just...
584
00:24:37,115 --> 00:24:39,875
- I was finding it...
- They're there. They become a part of you.
585
00:24:39,876 --> 00:24:44,535
They've made you who you
are. They are your everything.
586
00:24:44,536 --> 00:24:46,227
- Nice.
- Thank you.
587
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,127
Oh, okay. I guess, they're
clapping for the Monster
588
00:24:50,128 --> 00:24:51,784
and whatever they did with the bear.
589
00:24:51,785 --> 00:24:53,855
Guillermo, you won't
believe what just happened.
590
00:24:53,856 --> 00:24:55,960
The Monster fucked that bear.
591
00:24:55,961 --> 00:24:58,480
Some wild and whacky stuff.
592
00:24:58,481 --> 00:25:01,586
- Now he's ripped his penis off.
- Oh, no.
593
00:25:01,587 --> 00:25:02,933
He's handing it to The Guide,
594
00:25:02,934 --> 00:25:04,831
and they say romance is dead.
595
00:25:04,832 --> 00:25:07,454
If Gizmo is not gonna sing...
596
00:25:07,455 --> 00:25:08,870
- Cheers.
- ... then I might.
597
00:25:08,871 --> 00:25:10,147
Yeah. No.
598
00:25:10,148 --> 00:25:11,424
I love the singsong. Wanna join?
599
00:25:11,425 --> 00:25:13,771
You guys go ahead.
600
00:25:13,772 --> 00:25:17,120
* We'll meet again *
601
00:25:17,949 --> 00:25:20,192
* Don't know where *
602
00:25:20,952 --> 00:25:24,471
* Don't know when *
603
00:25:24,472 --> 00:25:26,083
Everyone, join in.
604
00:25:26,328 --> 00:25:29,641
* But I know We'll meet again *
605
00:25:29,823 --> 00:25:33,827
* Some sunny day *
606
00:25:37,416 --> 00:25:40,937
* Keep smiling through *
607
00:25:41,351 --> 00:25:43,491
* Just like you *
608
00:25:44,182 --> 00:25:47,495
* Always do *
609
00:25:48,048 --> 00:25:50,704
* Till the blue skies drive *
610
00:25:50,705 --> 00:25:56,090
* The dark clouds far away *
611
00:25:56,147 --> 00:25:57,987
- Everyone except The Guide.
- Yeah.
612
00:25:58,093 --> 00:26:01,854
* So will you please say hello *
613
00:26:01,992 --> 00:26:05,169
* To the folks that I know *
614
00:26:05,170 --> 00:26:09,992
* Tell them it won't be long *
615
00:26:14,107 --> 00:26:15,396
Guillermo, I was very moved
616
00:26:15,397 --> 00:26:17,882
by your final words of wisdom to camera.
617
00:26:19,331 --> 00:26:20,436
Thank you.
618
00:26:21,987 --> 00:26:25,265
To be honest, Guillermo,
I was also a little sad
619
00:26:25,407 --> 00:26:27,511
when they said the
documentary was ending.
620
00:26:27,886 --> 00:26:30,721
But after giving it a lot of thought,
621
00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:32,137
I think it's a good thing
622
00:26:32,138 --> 00:26:35,830
that the cameras aren't
filming us all the time.
623
00:26:36,366 --> 00:26:38,557
- Why is that?
- Lots of reasons.
624
00:26:38,558 --> 00:26:41,801
Such as?
625
00:26:41,802 --> 00:26:44,494
You know those big lights that
they use when they film us?
626
00:26:44,495 --> 00:26:45,667
Mm-hmm.
627
00:26:45,668 --> 00:26:47,531
Sometimes they get too hot.
628
00:26:47,532 --> 00:26:49,949
And when they do, they give off a smell.
629
00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:52,878
And when I smell that smell,
630
00:26:52,889 --> 00:26:54,546
I think my hair is on fire.
631
00:26:55,609 --> 00:26:57,403
So I definitely won't miss that.
632
00:26:57,404 --> 00:27:00,511
And how about one...
one of the other reasons?
633
00:27:02,754 --> 00:27:04,566
Actually, you know, that's it.
634
00:27:09,796 --> 00:27:11,373
- Wait.
- Yes.
635
00:27:11,384 --> 00:27:14,796
I think you should know that tomorrow
636
00:27:14,807 --> 00:27:18,155
when you wake up, I won't be here.
637
00:27:19,461 --> 00:27:21,463
What even are you
talking about, Guillermo?
638
00:27:22,774 --> 00:27:24,223
It's time to move on.
639
00:27:24,721 --> 00:27:26,526
It's been time for me to move on
640
00:27:26,537 --> 00:27:28,952
for quite a while now.
641
00:27:29,152 --> 00:27:33,812
And with the documentary
and everything ending,
642
00:27:34,994 --> 00:27:36,098
I mean...
643
00:27:36,109 --> 00:27:38,591
what other kind of sign
do I need from the universe?
644
00:27:39,308 --> 00:27:42,587
So I'm going to do that.
645
00:27:43,278 --> 00:27:44,934
But what about us joining forces
646
00:27:44,935 --> 00:27:47,729
and fighting crime in
a coequal partnership?
647
00:27:47,730 --> 00:27:50,732
Operating out of a
hidden underground lair
648
00:27:50,733 --> 00:27:54,565
accessible exclusively by a
top-secret coffin elevator.
649
00:27:55,433 --> 00:27:56,741
Tell you what.
650
00:27:57,682 --> 00:28:00,478
- Wherever I go, wherever I am...
- Mm-hmm.
651
00:28:01,559 --> 00:28:04,216
- ... I'll look at the news every night.
- Hmm.
652
00:28:04,227 --> 00:28:09,404
And if I ever hear of
some magnificent fearsome
653
00:28:09,415 --> 00:28:13,557
half-man, half-bat bringing
evildoers to justice,
654
00:28:15,586 --> 00:28:16,966
I'll know who that was.
655
00:28:16,967 --> 00:28:18,381
Because it will be me.
656
00:28:18,848 --> 00:28:21,609
Yeah. That's kinda what I meant.
657
00:28:22,110 --> 00:28:24,112
Goodbye, Guillermo.
658
00:28:27,911 --> 00:28:30,223
Goodbye, Master.
659
00:28:30,325 --> 00:28:32,154
You can call me Nandor.
660
00:28:34,902 --> 00:28:35,972
I know.
661
00:28:38,574 --> 00:28:40,887
But you'll always be Master to me.
662
00:28:46,341 --> 00:28:47,480
* We'll meet again *
663
00:28:48,205 --> 00:28:51,001
* Don't know where don't know when *
664
00:28:52,036 --> 00:28:57,007
* But I know we'll meet
again some sunny day *
665
00:29:00,217 --> 00:29:02,666
* Keep smilin' through *
666
00:29:02,667 --> 00:29:06,223
* Just like you always do *
667
00:29:07,086 --> 00:29:12,229
* Till the blue skies drive
the dark clouds far away *
668
00:29:13,678 --> 00:29:16,301
* So will you please say hello *
669
00:29:16,302 --> 00:29:18,475
* To the folks that I know? *
670
00:29:18,476 --> 00:29:20,237
* Tell them I won't be long *
671
00:29:22,101 --> 00:29:23,480
* They'll be happy to know... *
672
00:29:23,481 --> 00:29:25,137
Tail slate.
673
00:29:25,138 --> 00:29:27,623
* That as you saw me go
I was singing this... *
674
00:29:27,830 --> 00:29:29,012
Ladder.
675
00:29:30,419 --> 00:29:32,834
* We'll meet again *
676
00:29:32,835 --> 00:29:34,560
Right there.
677
00:29:34,561 --> 00:29:36,425
* Don't know where don't know when *
678
00:29:37,254 --> 00:29:40,187
* But I know we'll meet again... *
679
00:29:40,188 --> 00:29:42,672
Hi. Sorry. Excuse me.
680
00:29:42,673 --> 00:29:45,916
Sorry. Sorry, guys. Sorry.
Just a minute. I need to...
681
00:29:45,917 --> 00:29:47,091
Hold the work.
682
00:29:47,988 --> 00:29:49,290
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
683
00:29:49,887 --> 00:29:51,061
Sorry.
684
00:29:55,582 --> 00:29:58,688
Guillermo, I thought
I'd never see you again.
685
00:29:58,689 --> 00:30:00,414
No, I just said those things
686
00:30:00,415 --> 00:30:02,141
because I wanted to give
the documentary an ending.
687
00:30:02,348 --> 00:30:05,626
So we can commence with our
crime fighting partnership?
688
00:30:05,627 --> 00:30:08,974
No. I really do need to do my own thing.
689
00:30:08,975 --> 00:30:11,218
But just because we don't work together,
690
00:30:11,219 --> 00:30:12,391
doesn't mean we can't be friends.
691
00:30:12,392 --> 00:30:13,806
Friends?
692
00:30:13,807 --> 00:30:14,971
Yeah.
693
00:30:15,339 --> 00:30:18,587
Guillermo, I've never allowed
you to do this before, but...
694
00:30:21,815 --> 00:30:23,575
come and sit with me inside my coffin.
695
00:30:23,980 --> 00:30:24,980
Really?
696
00:30:24,991 --> 00:30:27,096
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh.
697
00:30:31,653 --> 00:30:33,964
To be friends would be cool.
698
00:30:33,965 --> 00:30:36,243
But you know what would be really cool?
699
00:30:36,624 --> 00:30:37,825
What?
700
00:30:42,491 --> 00:30:46,365
Are you kidding me? What?
When did you do this?
701
00:30:46,376 --> 00:30:48,929
- I've been working on it a while.
- Well, does it work?
702
00:30:49,153 --> 00:30:52,881
There's only one way to find
out. Guillermo, let's roll.
703
00:30:53,150 --> 00:30:55,635
Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.
704
00:31:02,097 --> 00:31:04,824
* Say goodbye to Hollywood *
705
00:31:05,997 --> 00:31:08,759
* Say goodbye my baby *
706
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,418
* Say goodbye to Hollywood *
707
00:31:13,384 --> 00:31:17,146
* Say goodbye my baby *
708
00:31:17,147 --> 00:31:19,976
Now before we go into
the reading of the letter...
709
00:31:19,977 --> 00:31:23,186
So this is a rough cut,
right? You're open to notes?
710
00:31:23,187 --> 00:31:24,636
Colin Robinson.
711
00:31:24,637 --> 00:31:27,294
Please, finish a whole
victim before moving on
712
00:31:27,295 --> 00:31:28,572
to a next one, okay?
713
00:31:28,779 --> 00:31:30,331
I do say that a lot, don't I?
714
00:31:30,332 --> 00:31:33,023
So this is going to
be on the television?
715
00:31:33,024 --> 00:31:34,715
I bloody hope not.
716
00:31:34,716 --> 00:31:36,752
- Well, I get the gist.
- It's not hygienic!
717
00:31:36,959 --> 00:31:38,168
Think I do too.
718
00:31:42,684 --> 00:31:45,651
* Life is a series of
hellos and goodbyes *
719
00:31:45,662 --> 00:31:50,045
* I'm afraid it's time
for goodbye again *
720
00:31:50,204 --> 00:31:54,000
* Say goodbye to Hollywood *
721
00:31:54,011 --> 00:31:57,807
* Say goodbye, my baby *
722
00:31:57,808 --> 00:32:01,051
* Say goodbye to Hollywood *
723
00:32:01,052 --> 00:32:04,780
* Say goodbye, my baby *
724
00:32:09,250 --> 00:32:14,250
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