1
00:00:00,959 --> 00:00:03,002
- And so without further ado,
2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,295
{\an8}welcome to the stage--
3
00:00:04,296 --> 00:00:08,424
{\an8}you know her, she pays you--
Deborah Vance!
4
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,468
[cheers and applause]
5
00:00:10,469 --> 00:00:13,346
- Hoo, hoo, hoo!
6
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:16,641
- Thank you.
Thank you.
7
00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:19,644
So I know you haven't seen me
in a while.
8
00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:21,854
When Hollywood wants
to get rid of a woman,
9
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,523
they just say
she was difficult.
10
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,650
But a man gets away with having
sex with his stepdaughter
11
00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:28,319
because, well,
that's just his process.
12
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,029
Am I right, y'all?
13
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,989
[scattered laughter]
14
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,491
- "Y'all"?
15
00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:37,119
- The, uh, reports of my death
were fake news...
16
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,372
as was "US Weekly"
every time they published
17
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,457
I didn't wear it better, y'all.
18
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:44,001
[scattered laughter]
- "Y'all" again. What is that?
19
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,671
- [yawns loudly]
20
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:49,215
Sorry.
21
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:51,551
- Let's get to the...
22
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,887
persecution pyramid!
23
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,222
[light chuckle]
24
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:59,183
Every woman who has ever done
something brave or unexpected
25
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:01,561
is either called crazy,
shot in the face,
26
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:02,937
or, even worse,
27
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,564
thwarted by a contract
28
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,232
she didn't read closely enough.
29
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,900
[scattered laughter]
30
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,570
[cell phone ringtone playing]
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
31
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,905
Hey, you.
Yeah, I'm just in a meeting.
32
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,325
- All right,
let's take a break.
33
00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:20,204
- So, yeah,
maybe we want to rethink
34
00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:22,206
the persecution pyramid
and also the, um--
35
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:23,749
just all of it, I think.
36
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,251
- No, it's the crowd.
37
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:27,878
I mean, they work for me.
I paid people to be here.
38
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:30,256
It's a completely different
dynamic than at a comedy club.
39
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,966
Besides, Josefina's in a mood
40
00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:33,759
'cause I don't like
her new water filter.
41
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,928
- Totally. I think maybe
we want to focus on,
42
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:38,431
like, what's been funny
about the past few years,
43
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,100
and then we can sort of work in
the systematic oppression
44
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,935
of it all, if we must.
45
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,855
- I'm gonna get to the funny,
but if comedy says something,
46
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,607
it's supposed to make you
uncomfortable.
47
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:48,858
I mean, you're the one
who always says
48
00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:50,234
that it doesn't have to be
a laugh a minute.
49
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:51,652
- No, I know, but it's kind of
50
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,614
a Smith College commencement
address at the moment.
51
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,283
- So sorry about that.
That was the Paley Center.
52
00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:58,534
Unfortunately,
they're not willing to move
53
00:01:58,535 --> 00:01:59,910
the "Who's Making Dinner?"
event.
54
00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:02,288
- Do they know that I won't be
able to speak at it
55
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:03,914
because of the gag order?
56
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:05,458
- Yes, but they're adamant
that the anniversary event
57
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,792
should take place
on the anniversary
58
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,628
and not, you know,
nine months later.
59
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,463
- Oh.
[scoffs]
60
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,423
People are so dramatic
about time.
61
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:14,467
Why can't they just
be more flexible about dates?
62
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,344
You know, like I am
about my birthday.
63
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,095
- Not everybody is as easy
to work with as you are.
64
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:19,805
But, look,
they still want you to attend,
65
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,349
you know, and pose
for some photos.
66
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,100
And I can circle back
with your lawyer.
67
00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:25,269
Maybe you learning sign
language is a fun loophole.
68
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:27,021
- Oh.
- I know a little.
69
00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:28,648
- Oh.
70
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,775
- Hey.
- Okay, well, I'm sorry.
71
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:32,485
- That's not nice.
72
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,612
- I think she's hangry.
- Always.
73
00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:35,946
She doesn't eat.
- Yeah.
74
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,948
But you,
I have really good news for.
75
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,992
- Oh.
- So remember Jessica Duncan,
76
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,702
the exec who made "My Bad"?
- Yeah.
77
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,037
- Well, she got a huge new job.
78
00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:44,955
And guess what.
- What?
79
00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:46,248
- She loved your script.
80
00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:47,833
- You know what?
81
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,502
She is one of the good ones.
I have always liked her.
82
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,670
- Well, she wants
to sit down with you,
83
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,505
and I'm gonna schedule
a meeting
84
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:53,798
when you're in town for the
"Who's Making Dinner?" event.
85
00:02:53,799 --> 00:02:55,049
- My God,
you are the best in the biz.
86
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,717
- I'm flailing, but thank you.
87
00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:58,511
- [taps mic]
This thing on?
88
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,513
'Cause I got a couple things
to get off my chest too.
89
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,182
First up, these Russians,
and I'm not talking about--
90
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,350
- No, no.
- the dolls!
91
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,394
- No, Randi.
- Silencing women?
92
00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:07,937
This is what Deborah's
talking about.
93
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:11,190
[upbeat music]
- Oh, my God!
94
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,693
- Make my lips bigger.
95
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,195
Bigger.
96
00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:18,197
- Whoa.
We having a yard sale?
97
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:21,075
- Oh, the Paley Center wants
some memorabilia and photos
98
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:23,077
for the "Who's Making Dinner?"
exhibition.
99
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,954
- How's this?
- That's good.
100
00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:26,622
Now give Frank
some dark circles...
101
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,749
- Mm.
- And a big, fat double chin.
102
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,084
- Cloning now.
103
00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:31,961
- What are you doing?
104
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,379
- We're--what did you call it?
105
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,089
- We're "yassifying" Deborah.
106
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,174
- And we're
de-yassifying Frank.
107
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:40,344
- I mean, if I can't speak
at the event honoring my show,
108
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:43,556
the least I can do is make
my nasty, bastard-ass
109
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,558
cheating ex-husband
look like shit.
110
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,560
- Not sure a media-preservation
nonprofit's
111
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,103
gonna love that.
112
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,856
- I'm just giving them options.
113
00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:54,358
Apparently, Kathy already sent
some photos over.
114
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:57,361
She's not gonna be there.
- Thank God.
115
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,656
- Is this
the original pilot script?
116
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:03,075
- Yeah.
117
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,577
- I'm sorry.
118
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:07,872
How the hell did he get
sole creator credit?
119
00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:10,916
- We wrote the pilot together,
and then he said,
120
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:14,128
oh, Deb, uh, I'm just gonna
put my name on this first one,
121
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:16,422
and then you can put yours
on the second one.
122
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:19,341
I was so naive,
I didn't know that whoever
123
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,385
that whoever "writes"
the first episode
124
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,554
from then on
is considered the creator.
125
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:24,764
- Right.
126
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,766
- He said it was
an innocent mistake,
127
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,392
but he knew what he was doing.
128
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:31,021
He never wanted me
to get any credit.
129
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,899
Now I have another bastard
trying to erase me.
130
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:37,818
That's why my MSG show
has to be historic,
131
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,779
has to be record-breaking.
132
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,781
- How's this?
133
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:44,283
Before and after.
134
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,826
- Ooh.
- Amazing.
135
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,495
- That is exactly
how I remember it.
136
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,163
- Wow.
- Oh, you think that's good?
137
00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,623
Wait till you see
what she did to my grandson.
138
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,500
- Ah.
- No.
139
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:53,918
- Isn't he adorable?
140
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:55,753
- You guys
can't Photoshop a baby.
141
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:56,837
- Yes, you can.
142
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,172
- Oh, my God.
143
00:04:58,173 --> 00:04:59,799
Did you snatch his waist?
144
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,509
- Oh, yes.
He's so fit.
145
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,135
[upbeat music]
146
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,804
- ♪ Sugar plum ♪
147
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,181
♪ Give me some ♪
148
00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:09,975
♪ Of your goody,
goody gumdrops... ♪
149
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,812
- I just have to say...
150
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,481
I am so proud
151
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:18,317
of the work we did together
on Deborah's special.
152
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,653
I was so pissed when I saw
that they took it down.
153
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,488
[quietly]
Those motherfuckers.
154
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,281
- No, we--
yeah, we were devastated.
155
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:27,493
- And what Bob Lipka did
to my girl Deborah?
156
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,662
I mean, that is bullshit.
Piece of shit.
157
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,497
- Oh, completely agree--
guillotine.
158
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:34,834
- Thank fucking God
I don't work there anymore.
159
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,293
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh!
160
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,671
Okay, all right, vibe shift.
- Yes.
161
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,840
- "Mall Girl."
- Yeah.
162
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,842
- You know, Jimmy said
that I would like your script.
163
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,302
I didn't.
164
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:47,680
I loved it!
165
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,515
- [laughing] Thank you.
166
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:50,975
That is so nice.
167
00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:55,104
- A modern-day retelling
of "The Wizard of Oz"
168
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,689
set in a '90s mall--
169
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,524
literally written for me.
170
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:01,986
- [laughs]
- It's so smart.
171
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:03,696
- Thank you.
172
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,489
- [gasps] You know
what scene I loved?
173
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,241
When the girl gets
her ears pierced
174
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:09,869
and it gets infected
and then the Hot Topic goths
175
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,871
have to take her
to the hospital,
176
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,456
my heart broke for her.
177
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:17,042
- Oh, that is--
that's really nice to hear.
178
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:19,461
- Yeah.
No, it's so nuanced.
179
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:22,131
It's so specific.
180
00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:24,216
[grunts]
So original.
181
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,552
So, obviously,
we can never make it.
182
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,512
- Oh.
- Blech.
183
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:31,515
[laughs]
But what else you got?
184
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:35,686
- Uh, that was all that I-I was
kind of doing at the mome,
185
00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,229
at the moment.
186
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,732
- Well, I really want
your next TV show.
187
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,483
So here's what I'm gonna do.
188
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:44,528
Sight unseen, whatever you got,
I will buy it cash advance,
189
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,155
blind script deal.
- Oh, my God.
190
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,281
Really?
- Yeah.
191
00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:48,574
- Thank you.
Could--
192
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,243
I mean, could "Mall Girl"
be a series?
193
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,912
- No.
- No.
194
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,164
- So something you're
more passionate about, right?
195
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,291
But also hits the young demo.
- Okay.
196
00:06:57,292 --> 00:07:00,169
- Diverse, of course,
queer--queer counts.
197
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:03,589
[laughs] Yes, I see you, girl,
LGBTAIQ+.
198
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,299
Not too political,
199
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,635
not too poor,
hard funny.
200
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:10,596
- Okay.
- But passion first.
201
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,766
- Well, I mean, look, it's--
I think for me, finding an idea
202
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,517
that I'm immediately
passionate about...
203
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:16,560
- Right, right.
Right, right.
204
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:17,853
- Easy as pie.
- Yeah.
205
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,563
But no limited series.
- Yeah.
206
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,398
- Limited series, bad.
- Yes.
207
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:24,068
- Bad, bad, bad.
208
00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:25,069
- Yeah.
209
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,196
That should be easy.
210
00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:31,283
[upbeat music]
211
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,953
- ♪ Just because I ♪
212
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,455
♪ Am not the prettiest girl ♪
213
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,875
♪ You ever did see ♪
214
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:42,878
♪ And even if I ♪
215
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:46,924
♪ Don't have such
a wonderful personality... ♪
216
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:48,968
- So she didn't start
as a stand-up?
217
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,220
- No, she starred in the show
with her husband,
218
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,305
and, um, you know,
she got famous from the sitcom.
219
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,807
- Ah. I mean, I think
she's cute there,
220
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,558
but I honestly think
she's hotter now.
221
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:58,602
I like a woman with
a little patina on them, huh?
222
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:00,813
- Oh, yeah.
- Jimmy.
223
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,107
Beth. [giggles]
- Oh, hi.
224
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,150
It's so nice
to finally meet you in person.
225
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,986
- Wow.
[both chuckle]
226
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,822
- Um, uh, this is Kayla
and Randi.
227
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,657
- Hi.
Welcome to PaleyFest.
228
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:12,992
- Thanks for having us.
- Yeah.
229
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,576
- I had my bat mitzvah here.
230
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,704
I'm not Jewish,
but the theme was Anna Faris.
231
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:18,288
- Yeah, it was
a great bat mitzvah.
232
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:19,623
Um, anyway, thank you again
for all your help.
233
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:21,375
I know there was
a lot of back-and-forth
234
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:24,378
with all the Deborah stuff.
- It is literally my pleasure.
235
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,839
And I actually remembered
that you are a coffee snob.
236
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,674
- Guilty.
- [laughs]
237
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,844
So I just got you a cold brew.
- That is so nice. Thank you.
238
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,263
- Well, cold brew is like sex.
239
00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:37,391
Even when it's bad,
I'm grateful.
240
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,643
- So true. Um, mm-hmm.
- Whoa.
241
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,311
- [laughs] Yeah.
- Mmm.
242
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:43,522
- No, but, seriously, the
coffee here is just dog shit.
243
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,399
But welcome
to the nonprofit world.
244
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,026
You know what I mean?
I'm like...
245
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,028
[goofy voice]
Take me with you, please.
246
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,863
[laughter]
- I wish we could, you know?
247
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,407
We are downsizing.
- God, stop. [imitates gunshot]
248
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:55,200
[cell phone vibrates]
I'm talking to someone.
249
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,869
I have to take this,
but I will find you
250
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,829
in a little bit.
- Okay, cool.
251
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,873
- Bye.
- Thank you again.
252
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,417
Cheers.
- [giggles]
253
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,962
- Wow.
- What is going on?
254
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:10,382
- What?
- You're being sexual at work.
255
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,884
You're never like that.
256
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,427
I mean, it was like
watching two jail rats
257
00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:14,678
ratting up the bathroom.
- Mm-hmm.
258
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:15,971
- What are you talking about?
259
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,765
- You were laughing
at her voices.
260
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,433
You were like...
[imitates high-pitched laugh]
261
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:20,726
- What?
We were just being--
262
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:21,894
- That wasn't even
the best voice.
263
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:22,895
I mean, it was kind of funny
264
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,688
but not anything
like my Jamaican accent.
265
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,856
- We retired
your Jamaican accent
266
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:26,982
after what happened
with that waiter,
267
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,108
and I was just being nice.
268
00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:29,902
We've been emailing each
other for months, you know?
269
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,236
- Email's first base--
270
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,446
I mean,
the last person I emailed,
271
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,406
we ended up fucking, Jimmy.
272
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:35,866
- Oh, my God, the HVAC guy?
273
00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:37,910
- Ew, no.
The exterminator.
274
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,037
- You slept with Adnan?
- Yeah.
275
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,039
- Whatever, my emails
were strictly professional.
276
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,917
- I don't know--
I was on those emails, boss,
277
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,461
and you were using
a lot of exclamation marks,
278
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:49,463
which for a man
is the equivalent
279
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,715
of exposing his genitals.
- Whatever.
280
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,717
I-I was just being friendly.
- Oh, yeah?
281
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:55,094
Is it friendly
to have your tits out?
282
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,887
Button up, slut.
283
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,765
- She wants you to lay that
pipe down--I'm telling you.
284
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,725
- You really think so?
I mean, it's flattering.
285
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:04,353
I never get cruised, but she
was wearing a wedding ring.
286
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,938
She's married.
- Who cares?
287
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,773
You never had sex
with a married person?
288
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,441
- Not that I know of.
Have you?
289
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,777
- Yeah, I just told you--Adnan.
290
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,112
Who cares?
It's LA.
291
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,738
I mean, 90% of the marriages
are open,
292
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:16,740
and the other 10%
heading for divorce
293
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,118
because they tried being open--
mm, not my fault.
294
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,410
- All right, I think you two
295
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:22,246
are really
overexaggerating, okay?
296
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,747
- Mm, whatever.
297
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,749
- We'll see what happens.
- Enjoy your coffee.
298
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:28,252
- I want to put money on this.
They seem good together.
299
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,129
- Yeah, so now
I just have to come up
300
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,797
with the premise for a show.
301
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,632
And you know what's always
been interesting to me?
302
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:37,511
The woman in urgent care
who comes in before the doctor.
303
00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:40,973
She's not a nurse, you know.
She's something else.
304
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,475
Like, what if I told her story?
305
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:46,145
- Very compelling.
- I know, right?
306
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:49,189
[chuckles]
- Oh, my God.
307
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:50,983
- Wow.
308
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:54,611
You know, it's so cool that
something you made so long ago
309
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,321
is being celebrated like this.
310
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,157
- Well, it endured
because it was important.
311
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,783
It said something.
312
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,161
That's what I've been saying
I want my MSG show to do.
313
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,495
- Totally, totally, totally.
314
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,624
[indistinct chatter]
315
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:12,254
[solemn music]
316
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,006
- The oven line--
that was so good.
317
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,299
- You liked it?
318
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:16,300
- Yeah, you wrote it,
too, right?
319
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:17,759
- Did I write that one?
320
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,803
- [laughing] You know you did.
321
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,889
- Oh, yeah, I did. [giggles]
- Oh, yeah, you did.
322
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,557
- Check out this hottie.
323
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:25,809
[indistinct chatter]
324
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,687
- Oh, yeah.
Gino.
325
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,480
He was wonderful.
326
00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:32,858
He died of AIDS.
He was so young.
327
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,902
- [scoffs] Can you imagine
being me in this situation?
328
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,570
I point to a photo
of a hot guy,
329
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:38,447
and you're like,
he died of AIDS.
330
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,449
Just lie to me, you maniac.
331
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:43,577
But I'm sorry for your loss.
332
00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:45,705
- Thank you.
- Yeah. It's tough.
333
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:52,836
He's lucky he's dead,
334
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,838
or there'd be a bullet
with his name on it.
335
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:57,841
- Uh-huh.
336
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,885
- [sighs]
337
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,428
Where you going?
338
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,847
- To find a martini
with my name on it.
339
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:08,018
[light music]
340
00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:11,313
- My dentist is such a pervert,
and she's a girl.
341
00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:12,607
- Oh.
- Hmm.
342
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,903
- Shit.
I think you guys are right.
343
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,405
I think that
she might be interested.
344
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,074
- We're not gonna feel bad
for you.
345
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,867
You're basically bragging.
- No, I'm not bragging.
346
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:25,577
- Okay, she's coming,
she's coming, she's coming.
347
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,414
- Showtime.
- [laughs] She's here.
348
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,708
- Hey.
- Hello, Beth.
349
00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:35,295
- Um, I reserved a seat for you
up front next to me.
350
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:36,546
- Oh, wow.
351
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:37,965
Uh, thank you so much,
but you know what?
352
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:40,509
I think I'm just gonna do
my own thing and bop around.
353
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,594
- Hmm.
- During the screening?
354
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:43,762
- Mm-hmm.
355
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,097
- 'Cause it'll be dark,
356
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:48,392
so you're gonna have to climb
over the people sitting down.
357
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:50,936
- He gets restless leg syndrome
in the middle of the day.
358
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,230
- Yeah, I think it's good
to just keep it moving,
359
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:56,108
you know, get my steps in,
get the circulation going.
360
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,943
- Sorry.
Oh, don't step on that. Sorry.
361
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,070
- Okay. Oh, oh, oh! Okay.
Oh, Jesus.
362
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,197
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
363
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:03,907
- [groaning]
- She ran right into me.
364
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,075
She came out of nowhere.
365
00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,576
- Can people just
give her some space?
366
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,287
Jesus.
Give her a little bit of space.
367
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,414
- Are you seeing this?
- My pelvis!
368
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:11,790
- Jimmy, are you there?
Can you hold my hand?
369
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,542
- Wait. What?
- My pelvis!
370
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:15,127
- Just breathe.
- Look, she's fine, she's fine.
371
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,420
- [groans]
372
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:17,921
- Ah, perfect.
373
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,673
Ketel One martini,
two olives, little dirty.
374
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,425
Thank you.
375
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:24,428
[light music playing,
indistinct chatter]
376
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:30,350
♪ ♪
377
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,311
Thanks, Marcia.
378
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,479
- Isn't that crazy?
[chuckles]
379
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,148
And that was
just Friday, right?
380
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,941
So imagine what I did Saturday.
- [laughs]
381
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,693
Oh. Yeah.
- It was just a lot.
382
00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:41,945
- If you were there,
you could have protected me.
383
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:44,573
- Here's your martini, ma'am.
- Thank you. Thank you.
384
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,242
- Deborah,
Eddie fucking Bean is here.
385
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,995
He's, like, my favorite
director from when I was a kid.
386
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,122
- It's a little
before your time, no?
387
00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:53,332
- No.
What are you talking about?
388
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,666
I grew up on Nick at Nite.
389
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,251
"Bewitched"
was the closest thing
390
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:57,711
we had to "Drag Race"
back then.
391
00:13:57,712 --> 00:14:00,172
- Well, I'll introduce you.
He's a doll.
392
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,382
Eddie.
- Oh, excuse me.
393
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,009
Wow, Debbie.
- Hi.
394
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,260
- Wow, I didn't know
you were going to be here.
395
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,721
- Of course.
I wouldn't miss it. Hi.
396
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,723
- So glad to see you.
- This is Ava.
397
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:11,975
Ava Daniels, Eddie Bean.
- Hi, how's it going?
398
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,643
I'm such a huge fan.
399
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:16,355
My Tinder bio used to be your
quote about the power of story.
400
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,607
I didn't meet my soulmate,
but a bunch of people
401
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:21,360
did ask me to read their
scripts, and that's something.
402
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,861
- Sure.
- [laughs]
403
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,488
- Eddie directed the pilot
of "Who's Making Dinner?"
404
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:26,198
- Of course.
- Oh, launched my whole career.
405
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,533
- So basically, you owe me
10% of everything you got.
406
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:31,036
- Yeah.
[laughs] Oh, Deb.
407
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,163
Glad to see you still have
your sense of humor.
408
00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:36,541
I'm just glad
to see you're out.
409
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:39,169
I heard about the breakdown.
410
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:42,631
I have a friend who has
the mental troubles.
411
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:45,217
Ooh.
It's rough stuff.
412
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,302
- Thank you, Eddie.
Means a lot.
413
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:49,179
- Yeah.
Oh, uh, did you hear?
414
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:51,765
They're gonna show some
new footage of Frank tonight.
415
00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:54,393
- Excuse me?
- Yeah, an unaired interview.
416
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,895
[chuckles]
- [scoffs]
417
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,398
I'm so glad Frank's
being allowed to speak.
418
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:02,692
Wish I could say the same
for Joan of Arc.
419
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:04,778
- She's doing a lot
of, um, research
420
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:07,239
on Joan of Arc right now for...
421
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,698
comedy.
422
00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:10,242
- Mm.
423
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,785
Funny.
424
00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:15,164
Oh, Deb, take care.
425
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:19,042
- [breathes deeply]
426
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,794
I always hated that guy.
- Yeah.
427
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:22,671
- He thinks
I have mental problems?
428
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,673
He is clearly
in cognitive decline.
429
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:25,924
- Yeah.
- And his prostate's probably
430
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,926
the size of a cantaloupe.
431
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,095
- Deborah, can we get
some photos with you?
432
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,682
- Absolutely.
- Great. Right this way.
433
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:35,809
- Puff pastry?
- Oh, no, thank you.
434
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:37,436
I've been, uh,
pretty weird with dairy
435
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,856
ever since this guy I dated
sawed me in half.
436
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,442
Hey, could I ask you something?
437
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,027
Um, would you watch a show
about cater waiters?
438
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,737
And, like, maybe, like,
every episode takes place
439
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:50,073
at a different event?
- Like "Party Down."
440
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:52,951
Really great show.
- Great.
441
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,828
[sighs]
Ideas, ideas.
442
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:57,706
Something in a dome?
Shit, "Under the Dome."
443
00:15:57,707 --> 00:16:00,584
Fuck, everything's been done,
every single thing.
444
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:02,419
- Can you take a picture
of someone for me?
445
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:03,462
- Oh, sure.
- Jimmy.
446
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,963
- Oh, hi.
447
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,298
- Could I get a photo
of you two?
448
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:08,800
- Yeah, sure.
[clears throat]
449
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,303
[camera shutter clicks]
- [chuckles] Yeah.
450
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,138
Oh, my God,
I cannot wait to get home
451
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,724
and rip off this micro thong,
if it's still there.
452
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,976
My fat ass is eating it up.
453
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,937
- Okay, Beth, I think I need
to clear the air, all right?
454
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,189
I've clearly misled you.
455
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:23,815
And we need to keep
things professional,
456
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,318
because I'm just not in a place
for a relationship right now.
457
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,487
- I'm married, so...
458
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,530
- I know, and I can't do
the open thing, all right?
459
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,324
It's just not for me.
I'm not stigmatizing it.
460
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,159
It's just--I wouldn't be
a good third, you know?
461
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,285
My needs are too big.
462
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:36,411
- Yeah, I'm not open,
463
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:40,665
and I'm not interested
in--in you like that, so...
464
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,668
- Oh.
Well--well, good.
465
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:46,296
I mean, or--or I guess not
good, but I just--I'm sorry.
466
00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:48,215
- Oh, my God, this is
a little bit inappropriate.
467
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:49,799
I'm like, ew.
- Okay. Oh, I'm sorry.
468
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,218
I just was picking up a vibe.
469
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,512
You know, you're being,
like, incredibly nice and...
470
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:57,432
- It's kind of my job to be
incredibly nice, you know?
471
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,768
- Well, sure, but your job
is really to coordinate events
472
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:01,561
that preserve
television history, right?
473
00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:02,562
You don't have to be that nice.
474
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,648
You could just be cordial,
475
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:05,982
or you could be rude even,
you know.
476
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:08,902
- Well, I'll certainly keep
that in mind moving forward.
477
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:10,487
Not a problem.
- Okay, great.
478
00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:12,864
Well, I'm glad we talked.
- Me too.
479
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,492
And, um, yeah,
if you need any coffee,
480
00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:17,702
just help yourself
to the carafe over there.
481
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,788
I'm not sure if it's been
sitting all day, but...
482
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:21,790
- No, Beth,
don't--don't do that.
483
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,000
Beth.
484
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,378
- Not into you, boss.
- Yeah, I don't think so.
485
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,380
- I know that.
You told me she was into me.
486
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:31,049
You two were both like--
she's drooling, boss, you said?
487
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,926
We were sniffing
each other like rats.
488
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:35,887
- What is this compulsive need
for honesty?
489
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,264
- I didn't think you were
gonna say anything.
490
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:39,933
That was so weird.
- Oh, my God!
491
00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:42,936
[upbeat jazz music]
492
00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:44,563
♪ ♪
493
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,566
[camera shutter clicks,
indistinct chatter]
494
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,527
♪ ♪
495
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:57,242
[applause]
496
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,744
- Thank you.
Thank you so much.
497
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,955
Wow, um, thank you
to the network,
498
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:04,624
everyone who supported the show
and gave us a chance.
499
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:07,210
Thank you to Deborah Vance.
Deborah, I love you.
500
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:10,380
Thank you to my entire team
at William and Morris, Sheila--
501
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:14,426
- Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome, welcome.
502
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,595
We are so proud
to be celebrating
503
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,221
the 50th anniversary
504
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:21,933
of the groundbreaking sitcom
"Who's Making Dinner?"
505
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,769
[cheers and applause]
506
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:29,441
We are so lucky to have so many
writers and cast here today,
507
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:33,278
especially the incomparable
Deborah Vance.
508
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:36,365
[cheers and applause]
509
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,744
Hope you're all enjoying
the exhibition.
510
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:43,121
I want to take a moment
to thank our partner brands.
511
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,123
The arts would be nothing
without you.
512
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:48,585
Okay, before we get
to our screening,
513
00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:50,629
we have a special announcement.
514
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,881
As of today,
515
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:55,467
Stage 15
on the Warner Bros. lot,
516
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,261
where every episode
of "Who's Making Dinner?"
517
00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:00,639
was filmed in front
of a live audience,
518
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,016
in addition
to the many iconic game shows
519
00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:04,684
that Frank went on to produce,
520
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:08,104
will be officially renamed
521
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:10,482
the Frank Vance Stage.
522
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,984
[cheers and applause]
523
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,320
Frank Vance
will forever be enshrined
524
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:17,155
in Hollywood history.
525
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,491
Well, please enjoy
more passed apps,
526
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,493
courtesy of TJ Maxx
and Duolingo,
527
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,579
and we will see you shortly
in the theater.
528
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,247
- I cannot believe this.
529
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:29,042
He's upstaging me
even from beyond the grave.
530
00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:30,794
- I don't think
he's upstaging you.
531
00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:34,297
- They are literally
putting him up on a stage.
532
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,007
Here.
533
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,176
[tense music]
534
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,845
- [sighs]
- Hey.
535
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,472
I want to introduce
the screening.
536
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,474
If Frank's allowed to speak,
then I want to speak too.
537
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:46,309
- I get that,
but you definitely can't.
538
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,936
They're live streaming it.
539
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:50,355
- Then get them
to turn off the stream.
540
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:52,357
I thought you said
you had a contact here.
541
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:54,192
- I--
[sighs]
542
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,820
- If the people aren't on the
right marks, then we're fucked.
543
00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:58,530
So if you could just make sure
that doesn't happen,
544
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,491
that would be wonderful.
- Excuse me, Beth.
545
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:04,536
- Hello.
- Mm, okay.
546
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,621
Um, you mind if I ask you
a really quick favor?
547
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,373
- Well, I wouldn't want to give
you the wrong impression,
548
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,750
right, and do any
special favors for you.
549
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,877
- And I appreciate that.
I respect that.
550
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:14,212
Uh, it's actually--
you know what?
551
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,339
It's not for me.
It's for Deborah Vance.
552
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:18,091
Deborah would like to speak
to introduce the screening,
553
00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:20,301
and she's legally prohibited
from doing that.
554
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,345
So if you could just turn off
the live stream camera,
555
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:24,347
just briefly,
just while she's up there.
556
00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:25,890
- Mm, can't do that.
557
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,767
- Please, please,
I am begging you.
558
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,561
- [giggles mockingly]
The answer is no.
559
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,229
- See, this is why I don't get
560
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,897
into romantic relationships
with work colleagues.
561
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,566
- We were not in
a romantic relationship, so--
562
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,234
- Beth, I don't have time
to get into our history
563
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,694
and relitigate this, all right?
564
00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:40,905
We both know what happened.
Can you just please do it?
565
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,240
- No.
566
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,868
- Fuck.
567
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:47,746
- You know what?
568
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:49,372
When you were dating Jimmy,
569
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:51,374
I really thought
we could be friends.
570
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:53,585
But now I know you're just
another selfish blonde,
571
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,378
aren't you?
572
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:56,881
You're a bitch.
573
00:20:58,549 --> 00:20:59,758
Jimmy!
574
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,760
[upbeat music]
575
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,762
- Stop. Stop looking at that.
I know I'm not on the list.
576
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,054
I'm just gonna speak
for a second.
577
00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:08,266
It's okay, it's okay, tell them
Deborah Vance said it was okay.
578
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,768
- Deborah, wait, wait.
579
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:12,437
I tried, but they won't turn
the cameras off--I'm sorry.
580
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:15,023
Look, even if Bob Lipka's
people don't see it,
581
00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:17,066
as we've experienced, someone
could just leak it anyway.
582
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:18,693
I really don't think
you should do this.
583
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,361
- I'm not just
doing this for me.
584
00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:23,282
I'm doing this for all women
who've been silenced.
585
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:27,952
- How?
586
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:29,245
[applause]
- Thank you.
587
00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:31,623
Thank you all so much
for coming tonight.
588
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,166
You know,
we may not have figured out
589
00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:34,501
who's making dinner,
but we figured out
590
00:21:34,502 --> 00:21:37,170
who's getting all the credit--
Frank Vance.
591
00:21:37,171 --> 00:21:38,588
[crowd murmurs]
592
00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:41,049
Oh, no, I know,
that's not fair.
593
00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:42,133
- What is going on?
- I tried to stop her,
594
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:43,301
but I couldn't.
595
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:45,470
- Um, Frank gave me
a lot of credit.
596
00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:48,598
In fact, he gave me solo credit
for that house fire.
597
00:21:48,599 --> 00:21:50,809
You remember that one, y'all?
Hmm?
598
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:53,102
- "Y'all" is back.
- Mm.
599
00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:55,188
- The only woman who knows fire
better than I do
600
00:21:55,189 --> 00:21:57,982
is my sister in the struggle,
Joan of Arc.
601
00:21:57,983 --> 00:21:59,651
I was told
not to speak tonight,
602
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:01,653
but, uh, at least Joan
got to scream
603
00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:03,196
when she was burned
at the stake.
604
00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:04,781
[crowd murmuring]
605
00:22:04,782 --> 00:22:06,115
Lucky bitch.
606
00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:08,868
- Mm...
[person coughs]
607
00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:10,662
- Did I ever mention--
did I ever mention
608
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,789
that Frank's family had slaves?
609
00:22:12,790 --> 00:22:15,083
[crowd gasps]
610
00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:16,961
Nasty stuff.
611
00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:22,049
Okay, let's roll that clip.
612
00:22:23,717 --> 00:22:26,345
[scattered applause]
613
00:22:30,391 --> 00:22:32,809
- Deborah, stop sulking.
614
00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:33,977
If they won't let you get
a credit card,
615
00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:35,353
you can just use mine.
616
00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:38,439
- No, I'm gonna
tell them I'm...
617
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,024
[audience laughing]
618
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:42,318
Mr. Denny Vansatori.
619
00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:44,195
[laughter]
620
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:46,114
[glass shatters]
Oh, that's funny.
621
00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:48,491
I always thought I'd be
the one whose water broke.
622
00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:50,994
- Deborah, why are you dressed
like a man?
623
00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:52,871
- Well, if the bank won't let
a woman open a credit card
624
00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:54,914
because it doesn't see me
as a full person--
625
00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:56,875
- You're going to force them?
- How about that?
626
00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:58,459
Not even five minutes
being a man,
627
00:22:58,460 --> 00:23:00,461
and already I'm forcing people
against their will.
628
00:23:00,462 --> 00:23:02,255
[laughter]
629
00:23:02,256 --> 00:23:03,464
- Hmm.
- Yeah, if this was today,
630
00:23:03,465 --> 00:23:05,258
you'd need four roommates
to afford this house.
631
00:23:05,259 --> 00:23:07,385
- Yeah.
- You remember roommates?
632
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:08,720
- No, I actually
didn't have roommates.
633
00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:12,473
I have to live alone because
I have bathroom stuff.
634
00:23:12,474 --> 00:23:14,350
- Is that an idea for a show?
635
00:23:14,351 --> 00:23:16,060
- Bathroom stuff?
Like, someone who lives alone?
636
00:23:16,061 --> 00:23:17,687
No, it's sad.
- No.
637
00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:19,689
No, like, something
based on this, where, like--
638
00:23:19,690 --> 00:23:20,940
- Oh.
639
00:23:20,941 --> 00:23:23,067
- I don't know--where, like,
their grandkid
640
00:23:23,068 --> 00:23:25,069
inherits this house and then
has a bunch of roommates.
641
00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:28,489
It's about, like, chosen
family, that sort of a thing.
642
00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:30,909
- You know,
reboots are really sellable.
643
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:32,869
Existing IP is very, very good.
644
00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:34,746
- And it can actually be
about something, you know?
645
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:35,914
They could be grappling
with the fact
646
00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:38,416
that, like, our generation is,
like, never going to find
647
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:39,751
the success
that our parents found.
648
00:23:39,752 --> 00:23:41,419
But, like,
what does that success mean,
649
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:42,587
and, like,
how do we redefine it?
650
00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:44,839
You know what I mean?
Like, community building.
651
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,300
Like, downward mobility.
- Yeah, but funny.
652
00:23:47,301 --> 00:23:49,385
- Yeah.
- I think that's really good.
653
00:23:49,386 --> 00:23:51,429
I think if you can do a reboot
that's about something,
654
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:52,639
that could be excellent.
655
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,558
You should definitely flesh
it out and pitch it to Jessica.
656
00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:57,393
- [sighs] Deborah doesn't have
the rights, though.
657
00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:59,312
- That's okay.
I'll look into it.
658
00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:01,064
- Okay.
- Okay.
659
00:24:01,065 --> 00:24:02,440
I like that.
- [laughs]
660
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:03,650
- I think it's good.
661
00:24:03,651 --> 00:24:04,984
- So do you need something,
Gino, or...
662
00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:07,070
- I got myself in a mess.
- Okay.
663
00:24:07,071 --> 00:24:08,864
[upbeat theme music]
664
00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:13,117
- Frank, thank you so much
for sitting with us.
665
00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:16,205
[interview continues muffled]
666
00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:21,125
What do you think made
"Who's Making Dinner?"
667
00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:23,878
such a groundbreaking show?
668
00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:27,090
- Well, you know, we weren't
trying to be groundbreaking.
669
00:24:27,091 --> 00:24:31,970
We were making a show
about our relationship.
670
00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:34,013
And, um...
671
00:24:34,014 --> 00:24:36,975
the only reason people
even paid attention to it
672
00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:39,268
was because it was funny.
673
00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:41,604
- And you two had never worked
in TV before.
674
00:24:41,605 --> 00:24:44,358
So how did you know that what
you were making was funny?
675
00:24:46,026 --> 00:24:47,903
- Because of Deborah.
676
00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:52,700
Deborah was the funny one.
677
00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:57,829
She was always...
678
00:24:57,830 --> 00:25:00,999
the funniest person...
679
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,835
in any room.
680
00:25:03,836 --> 00:25:06,629
[soft music]
681
00:25:06,630 --> 00:25:08,006
♪ ♪
682
00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:11,134
- And as you transitioned
into producing game shows,
683
00:25:11,135 --> 00:25:12,844
what was your inspiration
for...
684
00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:19,977
♪ ♪
685
00:25:29,111 --> 00:25:30,738
- Hey.
686
00:25:32,614 --> 00:25:34,158
You okay?
687
00:25:35,909 --> 00:25:37,410
- No.
688
00:25:37,411 --> 00:25:40,747
- Yeah.
'Cause you bombed super hard?
689
00:25:40,748 --> 00:25:43,417
It was rough.
- No.
690
00:25:45,127 --> 00:25:47,171
It's what Frank said.
691
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,049
- But he said
you were the funny one.
692
00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:53,676
I-I feel like that would be
nice to hear, no?
693
00:25:53,677 --> 00:25:54,886
- It was.
694
00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:56,764
That's the problem.
695
00:26:00,392 --> 00:26:04,437
It's been--
it's been 50 fucking years.
696
00:26:04,438 --> 00:26:07,107
Why do I still need
to hear that?
697
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,401
Why should I care
about what some kid who I met
698
00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:13,155
when I was 18 years old
thinks about me?
699
00:26:14,865 --> 00:26:17,575
It's pathetic.
700
00:26:17,576 --> 00:26:19,327
- Yeah.
701
00:26:19,328 --> 00:26:21,038
I mean, I get that.
702
00:26:22,664 --> 00:26:26,210
Sometimes there's just
one person we want to impress.
703
00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:31,923
- Yeah.
704
00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:34,884
- I have to ask...
705
00:26:34,885 --> 00:26:38,888
what was the mess that Gino was
getting into in that episode?
706
00:26:38,889 --> 00:26:40,098
- [laughs]
707
00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:41,224
- Was there chaos?
708
00:26:41,225 --> 00:26:43,101
Did hijinks ensue?
709
00:26:43,102 --> 00:26:45,103
We didn't get to find out.
710
00:26:45,104 --> 00:26:46,938
- [laughing]
I'll tell you in the car.
711
00:26:46,939 --> 00:26:49,023
- Okay.
- [sniffles]
712
00:26:49,024 --> 00:26:52,026
[mellow music]
713
00:26:52,027 --> 00:26:54,445
♪ ♪
714
00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:56,739
- Thank you.
- Oh, my God.
715
00:26:56,740 --> 00:26:58,908
I always want to be like,
you don't have to run.
716
00:26:58,909 --> 00:27:00,451
There's no rush.
717
00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,745
- I like it when they run.
718
00:27:02,746 --> 00:27:04,122
- Deborah Vance.
719
00:27:04,123 --> 00:27:05,748
- Yes?
720
00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:07,750
- Got a call you violated
a restraining order tonight.
721
00:27:07,751 --> 00:27:09,627
- [sighs]
- Need you to come with us.
722
00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:11,295
- Oh, you got to be kidding me.
- Nope.
723
00:27:11,296 --> 00:27:12,630
- You're actually
gonna arrest me?
724
00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:14,132
- Yep.
- I'm sorry.
725
00:27:14,133 --> 00:27:17,593
She wasn't even funny tonight.
That was barely even comedy.
726
00:27:17,594 --> 00:27:19,137
- Let's go.
- No!
727
00:27:19,138 --> 00:27:20,638
- Yes.
- No!
728
00:27:20,639 --> 00:27:22,807
- Do you know
where I keep my bail cash?
729
00:27:22,808 --> 00:27:25,143
- Yeah, in Vegas, it's
underneath the bathroom sink!
730
00:27:25,144 --> 00:27:27,145
But where is it in LA?
731
00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:28,980
Deborah, where is it in LA?
732
00:27:28,981 --> 00:27:31,816
- Call Josefina!
733
00:27:31,817 --> 00:27:33,484
Watch the hair!
734
00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:36,654
- Wha--fuck! Shit!
735
00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:38,447
Yo, valet!
736
00:27:38,448 --> 00:27:40,992
Pick up the pace!
737
00:27:40,993 --> 00:27:43,078
[cell door buzzes]
738
00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:51,169
- What are you in for?
739
00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:52,879
- Stand-up comedy.
740
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,131
You?
741
00:27:55,132 --> 00:27:57,175
- Shoplifting from Macy's.
742
00:27:57,176 --> 00:27:59,886
- Oh, that's really wrong.
743
00:27:59,887 --> 00:28:02,680
If you're gonna shoplift,
make it Neiman Marcus.
744
00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:06,143
[scattered laughter]
745
00:28:09,062 --> 00:28:11,022
What are you in for?
746
00:28:11,023 --> 00:28:13,441
- I, uh--I got a DUI.
747
00:28:13,442 --> 00:28:16,652
- Oh, honey, we got to get you
an Uber account...
748
00:28:16,653 --> 00:28:17,695
[laughter]
749
00:28:17,696 --> 00:28:20,031
Or at least a pair
of Rollerblades, Jesus.
750
00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:22,867
[laughter]
751
00:28:22,868 --> 00:28:24,827
You know, it's not
my first time in jail.
752
00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:27,038
I mean, I, uh,
was in actor jail once.
753
00:28:27,039 --> 00:28:28,706
I did a Lifetime movie called
754
00:28:28,707 --> 00:28:30,374
"A Prayer
for Mommy's Slippers."
755
00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:31,709
[laughter]
756
00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:34,212
I was guilty for not running
when I heard the title.
757
00:28:34,213 --> 00:28:38,591
[laughter]
758
00:28:38,592 --> 00:28:42,220
[indistinct chatter]
759
00:28:42,221 --> 00:28:43,847
- Hi,
I'm here for Deborah Vance.
760
00:28:46,099 --> 00:28:47,225
Is that enough?
761
00:28:47,226 --> 00:28:48,935
[laughter]
- That's right, that's right.
762
00:28:48,936 --> 00:28:50,478
I've been cuffed before,
763
00:28:50,479 --> 00:28:53,064
but it usually involved some
boundaries and a safe word.
764
00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:54,398
[laughter]
[door clangs]
765
00:28:54,399 --> 00:28:56,150
Oh, she knows, little freak!
766
00:28:56,151 --> 00:28:57,818
[laughter]
767
00:28:57,819 --> 00:29:00,571
- Deborah Vance, you made bail.
768
00:29:00,572 --> 00:29:03,074
- Ah.
That's my time.
769
00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:05,743
[cheers and applause]
770
00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:08,412
Oh, hey, can I bail out
my friends here?
771
00:29:08,413 --> 00:29:10,623
- If you got the cash.
- All right, what do you need?
772
00:29:10,624 --> 00:29:11,624
What do you need?
- $500 for me!
773
00:29:11,625 --> 00:29:13,376
- $8,000!
- $20,000!
774
00:29:13,377 --> 00:29:15,419
- Damn, what did you do?
775
00:29:15,420 --> 00:29:17,088
- I punched a police horse.
776
00:29:17,089 --> 00:29:19,507
- Oh, Jesus.
Come on, let's go!
777
00:29:19,508 --> 00:29:20,549
[all cheering]
778
00:29:20,550 --> 00:29:23,094
[distant siren wailing]
779
00:29:23,095 --> 00:29:25,096
- So how was it in there?
Was it bad?
780
00:29:25,097 --> 00:29:28,182
- It was amazing.
781
00:29:28,183 --> 00:29:30,268
- Really?
- Frank was right.
782
00:29:30,269 --> 00:29:31,435
- Don't walk.
783
00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:33,104
- The only reason
that people paid attention
784
00:29:33,105 --> 00:29:35,648
to "Who's Making Dinner?"
is 'cause it was funny.
785
00:29:35,649 --> 00:29:37,275
But that's what I need
to be focusing on
786
00:29:37,276 --> 00:29:38,776
with my Garden show.
787
00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:40,653
It doesn't need to be
important.
788
00:29:40,654 --> 00:29:43,614
It just--it just needs
to be funny.
789
00:29:43,615 --> 00:29:46,659
- Yeah, I mean,
I feel like I said that,
790
00:29:46,660 --> 00:29:49,203
but then a man said it louder,
but it's okay.
791
00:29:49,204 --> 00:29:50,288
I'll just repress it.
792
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:51,622
It'll make me funnier
in the long run.
793
00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:54,292
- I'm sorry I didn't listen.
794
00:29:54,293 --> 00:29:56,585
I have just been consumed
795
00:29:56,586 --> 00:29:58,921
by my anger.
796
00:29:58,922 --> 00:30:00,798
I didn't see the forest
for the trees.
797
00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:03,926
I mean, what people
are gonna remember is...
798
00:30:03,927 --> 00:30:05,428
if I made them laugh.
799
00:30:05,429 --> 00:30:07,221
- Yes!
Exactly what I was saying.
800
00:30:07,222 --> 00:30:08,431
Love.
- Yep.
801
00:30:08,432 --> 00:30:10,141
- Great.
- Walk.
802
00:30:10,142 --> 00:30:13,144
- Oh. Hey, who's hungry?
[all cheering]
803
00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:14,645
Okay, let's go to Norm's.
804
00:30:14,646 --> 00:30:16,355
I want to try out
more material.
805
00:30:16,356 --> 00:30:18,274
- Okay.
- That's a good idea.
806
00:30:18,275 --> 00:30:20,318
- You know, it's been a real
pleasure sharing an open toilet
807
00:30:20,319 --> 00:30:22,611
with you ladies.
[laughter]
808
00:30:22,612 --> 00:30:24,322
But, Bethanney,
I'm a little concerned
809
00:30:24,323 --> 00:30:26,449
about the color of your pee.
- I know.
810
00:30:26,450 --> 00:30:28,159
- ♪ For the judge, yeah ♪
811
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,494
♪ Whoo! ♪
812
00:30:30,495 --> 00:30:33,497
["Murder in My Heart (For the
Judge) by Lee Michaels]
813
00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:38,711
♪ ♪
814
00:30:38,712 --> 00:30:40,004
♪ Whoo! ♪
815
00:30:40,005 --> 00:30:47,095
♪ ♪
816
00:30:51,224 --> 00:30:54,393
♪ Whoo! Hey! ♪
817
00:30:54,394 --> 00:31:01,526
♪ ♪
818
00:31:10,577 --> 00:31:12,286
♪ Everybody sing, yeah ♪
819
00:31:12,287 --> 00:31:17,041
♪ Got murder in my heart
for the judge ♪
820
00:31:17,042 --> 00:31:20,044
♪ Got murder in my heart ♪
821
00:31:20,045 --> 00:31:22,630
♪ For the judge ♪
822
00:31:22,631 --> 00:31:25,216
♪ 'Cause the bad old bastard ♪
823
00:31:25,217 --> 00:31:27,885
♪ Wouldn't budge ♪
824
00:31:27,886 --> 00:31:30,721
♪ I got murder in my heart ♪
825
00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:33,182
♪ For the judge ♪
826
00:31:33,183 --> 00:31:37,228
♪ 'Cause the bad old bastard
wouldn't budge ♪
827
00:31:37,229 --> 00:31:38,771
♪ ♪
828
00:31:38,772 --> 00:31:42,233
♪ Got murder in my heart
for the judge ♪
829
00:31:42,234 --> 00:31:44,235
♪ Oh, everybody now ♪
830
00:31:44,236 --> 00:31:47,906
{\an8}♪ Got murder in my heart
for the judge ♪