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00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,751
{\an8}[cheers and applause]
2
00:00:01,752 --> 00:00:03,462
{\an8}[horn blares]
3
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- Look at that speed.
4
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,675
- Damien.
5
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,136
- He's clocking at
9 miles per hour.
6
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:14,472
- Ooh!
Let's get his info.
7
00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:16,349
- Paris team is looking good.
8
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,142
They were the laughingstock
of the Hospitality Olympics
9
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:20,520
last year, but they've
really turned things around.
10
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,355
- They've got a strong anchor.
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00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,689
- Mm.
12
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:26,192
She's quick, but I worry
about precision.
13
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:28,861
We're only staffing the best
of the best at the Diva.
14
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- Ooh, is that what you're
calling the casino?
15
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,615
- Mm-hmm.
16
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- The Diva. I like that.
17
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Diva.
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[horn blares]
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Ooh! Look at that little one.
20
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:43,376
He lets the suck
of the vacuum pull him.
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He'll be less prone to injury.
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[horn blares]
Smart.
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00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:53,427
- Okay. Done.
24
00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:56,055
- I like his passion.
- No. Can't do it.
25
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,474
Horrible at trivia.
- Call it. Call it, ref.
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[horn blares]
Yes! Who do you think you are?
27
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I am.
28
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,729
I am Ray, motherfuckers!
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[cheering]
Pretty good.
30
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- Come on, let's go.
It needs to be perfect.
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Work for this. Work for this.
32
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- This is where a hotel
succeeds or fails--
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00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:13,114
a well-made bed.
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00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:14,574
- That's almost all there is.
35
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,784
Look at him in the vest.
36
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:18,869
I like the way
he handles the top sheet.
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- Go, Sophie! Go! Go!
38
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I did not wanna
bring you tonight.
39
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Prove me wrong!
40
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- He's a surgeon.
41
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Quick but measured,
efficient but not careless.
42
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- Fold that top!
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Hospital corners!
44
00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,592
We went over this, Sophie!
45
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Jesus Christ!
46
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Check, check.
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Whoo! Yes!
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[horn blares]
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[applause]
50
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I am the best bedmaker
in the world!
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00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:49,150
[laughs]
52
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- Okay, girl, I see you.
53
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:53,279
[indistinct chatter]
54
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- I'm buzzed, buzzed.
- Moment of truth.
55
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- Buzzed, buzzed.
56
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,950
[cheering]
57
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,952
- Good girl!
- See? I'm on your side, girl.
58
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,287
- [chuckles]
- Oh.
59
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:03,122
You know what I miss? Go Fish.
60
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,749
- Mom! Mom!
61
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:05,750
Hi, guys.
62
00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:07,126
Mom, I need you.
63
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,587
- Oh, no, honey.
Is Aidan leaving you?
64
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:11,130
- [gasps]
- This is what men do.
65
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,798
They leave.
66
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,300
Okay, you gotta make sure
that all the vehicles
67
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,509
are in your name.
- No.
68
00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:16,636
- Are they?
- No, no, no, no.
69
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,304
- Are they?
- Mom!
70
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:21,599
They're finally doing
"Celebrity Amazing Race"!
71
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,434
- Oh.
- Remember?
72
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:24,644
You said that you
would go on it with me
73
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,854
if they ever made it?
- Oh.
74
00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,105
Oh, yeah.
75
00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:29,315
No, DJ, you know
that I'm gagged.
76
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:30,441
I can't do any TV.
77
00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:32,151
No performing for months.
78
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,819
- Nice try.
I called your lawyer.
79
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,488
- You called Stewart?
- Well, that's what you get
80
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,281
for suing me
for criminal negligence
81
00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,158
for breaking
Grandma's teapot, okay?
82
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,327
Stewart and I have developed
a lovely working relationship,
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00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,162
and he says you're
in the clear,
84
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:46,290
as long as this season airs
after the non-compete expires.
85
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,668
And it does! So suck it!
- No.
86
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,503
You are not allowed
to do a reality show.
87
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,046
That has always been our rule.
88
00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:54,674
- Mom, this is really important
to me, okay?
89
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,051
You know it's important to me.
90
00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:59,178
"Amazing Race" got me sober.
91
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:03,140
- Excuse me, I think $400,000
worth of rehab got you sober.
92
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,934
- Nope, that failed.
93
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:06,644
Episodes of "The Amazing Race"
got me through
94
00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:08,187
some really dark times, okay?
95
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,814
Phil Keoghan
is my higher power.
96
00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,357
And you promised me
that if I got sober,
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00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,275
we would go on it together.
98
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,860
- Okay. Okay.
99
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,529
You're right.
I'll think about it.
100
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:17,863
- Yeah, think about it.
101
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,323
But I need an answer
by 5:00, okay?
102
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,325
Plus, if we win,
we get a million dollars,
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00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,077
which covers my allowance
for the year.
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00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:26,205
- Well, honey, I think
all that money goes to charity.
105
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,207
- Oh, fuck! Really? Ugh.
106
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,917
That's so stupid.
You know what?
107
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,877
I'm sure there's a workaround.
I still wanna do it.
108
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:35,214
I'm gonna go practice driving
on the wrong side of the road.
109
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,716
- Christ.
- Yeah.
110
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,384
Look, I don't think
it's the worst thing
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00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,052
in the world for you
to go on a reality show.
112
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,721
I mean, there'll be a big
announcement revealing
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00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,013
the cast, and you
can get them to plug
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MSG in the press release.
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- You know, she's right.
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00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,602
Reality shows do give
celebrities fresh relevance.
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00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,604
- That's true.
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00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:52,356
But the problem
with reality shows is,
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00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,066
you cannot control
the narrative.
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00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,193
I mean, that's why
I've turned down Andy Cohen
121
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:57,737
more than every twink
on Fire Island.
122
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,697
And they can make you look
however they want.
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00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:01,824
I mean, don't worry about me,
but I mean, they could really
124
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:03,701
make DJ look like a fool.
125
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,911
- I mean, she doesn't
seem too worried to me.
126
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,163
- Yeah.
127
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,873
And having her as my teammate,
128
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:11,333
we'd probably be out
in the first leg.
129
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,085
I could be home in a week.
130
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,337
- You do need to sell tickets.
131
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:18,799
- Well, I guess it looks like
I'm doing "The Amazing Race."
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00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,301
- Whoo!
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00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:21,969
- Girl, I cannot wait
to watch your ass.
134
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,763
- Gonna be great.
135
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,766
[mellow upbeat music]
136
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♪ ♪
137
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- Oh, that's bad too.
138
00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:34,774
- [scoffs]
Food waste is so depressing.
139
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:37,109
You know this is the fourth
blackout we've had this year?
140
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,028
- It's the sixth.
141
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:41,405
Two happened during separate
12-hour naps you were taking.
142
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,407
Not sleeps, naps.
143
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,409
And you slept those nights too.
144
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,077
- That's even worse.
145
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:48,954
Thank God I'm such a good
napper or I'd be even more
146
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,915
stressed out about
the climate crisis.
147
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,750
And don't monitor my sleep.
148
00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:53,793
It's private.
149
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:55,294
- But it's fascinating.
150
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,215
[phone buzzing]
151
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:02,343
- Jimbo! What's up?
- Hey.
152
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,136
So I just finished lunch
with Jessica Duncan,
153
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,638
and I have great news.
154
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,264
She loves the
"Who's Making Dinner" idea.
155
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:09,433
She wants to hear it.
- Are you serious?
156
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,477
- Yeah, she flipped out.
[liquid splashing]
157
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,978
Are you peeing?
- What?
158
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,230
- Call me back
if you're peeing.
159
00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:15,815
I can talk to you in a second.
160
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,483
- No, I'm making coffee,
although I have peed
161
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,734
while we were
on the phone before.
162
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,528
- Okay.
163
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:22,112
Anyway, I wanna get you and
Deborah in a room with her.
164
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:23,447
Is Deborah excited?
165
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:24,490
Because this
could be really big.
166
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,784
- Um, I have not yet--
167
00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,327
I haven't talked
to Deborah yet.
168
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,162
- Well, you need to ASAP.
169
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:34,291
Also, I do need to flag
one issue with the rights.
170
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:37,002
Apparently, when Frank died,
he left them to Kathy.
171
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,671
- Please tell me
you mean Najimy.
172
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,297
- Why would I mean
Kathy Najimy?
173
00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:42,508
No, Kathy, her sister,
the one who hates her.
174
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,926
I even tried
to grease the wheels.
175
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,678
I gave her a call today,
but she wanted
176
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,096
to get off the phone because
she said I was, quote,
177
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,014
"an enabler of her abuser."
- Whew.
178
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,516
- Which I think is unfair,
but you know what?
179
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,142
We all have our narratives,
so whatever.
180
00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:53,185
Whatever to her.
181
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,353
She's a fucking bitch.
182
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,522
- Okay, well, uh, I'll--
183
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,023
I'll talk to Deborah.
184
00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,525
- Let me know what
our girl says.
185
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:00,818
And if she is not happy,
don't tell me.
186
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,528
Just internalize it.
187
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,864
[upbeat music]
188
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,533
- I think you're
packing too much stuff.
189
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,994
Do you really have room
for six rolls of toilet paper?
190
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,537
- Oh, you can't just downgrade
191
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,205
your toilet tissue
out of nowhere.
192
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,540
I haven't had time to build up
any kind of a tolerance.
193
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,208
It's a shock to the system.
194
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,668
I mean, you can go
to the hospital.
195
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:18,794
- Totally.
196
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:21,213
Um, hey, while I have you...
197
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,382
so you know how I have
that blind script deal?
198
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,259
- Mm-hmm.
199
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,762
- Well, I figured out
what I wanna do.
200
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,891
I wanna reboot
"Who's Making Dinner?"
201
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,559
- Oh.
- Um, yeah.
202
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,227
It would take place
in the same house,
203
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,396
but instead of a young couple,
it would follow
204
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,231
some Gen Z friends
who have to all
205
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,649
live together to afford it.
206
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,234
I could pitch it,
and then you could just,
207
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,819
like, totally rewrite it
if you wanted to.
208
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,321
Like, just whichever
version works for you,
209
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:46,822
I feel like, yeah, down with.
210
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,575
But I just wanted to
run it by you, because--
211
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,410
- I--I really don't
wanna do a reboot
212
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,621
of "Who's Making Dinner?"
213
00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:55,080
- Okay.
214
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,790
- But you should.
215
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,542
- No, no.
216
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,753
No, no, I--I wouldn't
wanna do it without you.
217
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:04,089
- No, no, no, I'm moving
forward with the Garden,
218
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,592
but I give you my blessing.
219
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,385
- Are you sure?
220
00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:10,846
I mean, I know it's, like,
triggering for you
221
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,849
when people rewrite your story.
222
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:16,728
- Well, I would
trust you to do it.
223
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,606
- Thanks.
224
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:21,690
I won't let you down.
225
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,859
- I know.
226
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,903
But you know,
I don't have the rights.
227
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:28,113
So I can't help you with that.
228
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,157
- Well, maybe you can.
229
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:33,160
[mellow rock music]
230
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:40,293
♪ ♪
231
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:44,880
- [chuckles]
Look at that headshot.
232
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:47,132
It's at least 20 years old.
233
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:50,761
- We have two offers already,
and two others are writing.
234
00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,930
So if you're interested,
I suggest
235
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,350
you come in aggressively.
- Okay, great, thanks.
236
00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,687
- What the hell
are you doing here?
237
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,313
- Nice bones, Kathy.
238
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,023
Not you, the house.
239
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,608
- How did you find me?
240
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,527
Do you still have
that PI following me?
241
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,779
- PI? What PI?
242
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,155
- [sighs]
243
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,907
- He died.
244
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,325
Is there somewhere we can sit?
245
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,620
- If we must.
246
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,416
I was surprised you
weren't at the christening.
247
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:23,085
- What?
- We--we both were.
248
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,837
I'm AJ's godmother.
249
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,839
- I am AJ's godmother.
250
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,048
- Oh, God.
251
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:29,550
DJ must have had
two christenings.
252
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,594
- [chuckles]
You wanna alternate months?
253
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,139
So, listen--
254
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,849
- I know why you're here.
255
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:40,352
I talked to Jimmy against
the advice of my healer.
256
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,022
Deborah, you are not getting
the rights to that show.
257
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,523
- The thing is, they're not--
they're not for Deborah.
258
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,525
They're for me.
- Ha, sure.
259
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:47,901
- No, really, they are.
260
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,028
- What are you going to do
with them?
261
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,070
Nothing.
262
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:51,405
- Well, you don't know that.
263
00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:52,531
I journal.
264
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,657
- So what's your price?
265
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,034
You obviously need the money.
266
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,410
I don't remember
you having a passion
267
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,037
for selling real estate.
268
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,788
You weren't even good
at playing house.
269
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,707
- Well, you always
made me be the maid.
270
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,292
- Well, you were a natural.
271
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,627
- I'm surprised you could
remember anything at all.
272
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:09,381
I read that you had
a psychotic break live on air.
273
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,675
No surprise there.
Hope you're getting help.
274
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,969
- Just like you got help
in the '90s with Prozac?
275
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:15,804
- How did you--
276
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,389
- I had DJ go through your
trash like a good little girl.
277
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:20,184
- Okay, my sisters, let's turn
the volume down.
278
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:25,564
Kathy, is there anything we
could do to change your mind?
279
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:30,402
- Well, there is one thing.
280
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,905
- No. No. Let's go.
- What?
281
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,698
- When we were little,
our mother had these
282
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:37,076
salt and pepper shakers.
- Do not waste your breath!
283
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:40,412
- They were cherubic,
porcelain little blonde girls.
284
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,206
She used to say
they looked exactly like us.
285
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,041
We loved them.
286
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:46,418
That's why we started
shaker collections of our own.
287
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:49,046
Then when Mom passed,
Deborah stole them from me.
288
00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:50,589
- I never stole them!
289
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,716
Mom said she always
wanted me to have them.
290
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,802
- I'll give you the rights if
you give me back the shakers.
291
00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:56,470
- Which is never gonna happen.
See?
292
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:59,139
She's deliberately
crushing your dreams.
293
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,433
It's sadistic, really.
This woman is sick.
294
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:06,147
This woman is sick!
295
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:09,858
Let's leave.
- Sorry.
296
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:12,403
- Don't even think about coming
back without those shakers!
297
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:15,781
- Oh.
298
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,407
Window's cracked.
Candles are lit.
299
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,869
There's mold. Run. Run.
300
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:24,040
- [sighs] Hello.
301
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,210
- I'm sorry.
302
00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:29,211
I would pay anything.
303
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,712
I just can't--
304
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:32,172
I can't do that.
- I get it.
305
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,507
I get it. That's okay.
306
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:34,634
Thank you for trying.
307
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,349
[exciting music]
308
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:47,479
♪ ♪
309
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,567
- "Amazing Race" contestants,
take your places, please.
310
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:54,987
- Oh, my God, this is
the best day of my life.
311
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,697
Thank you so much
for doing this.
312
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,115
- Well, you're welcome, sweetie.
313
00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,616
But just remember our deal, okay?
314
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:00,993
You're representing the family.
- Yeah.
315
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,494
- So when on camera...
- Mm-hmm.
316
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,829
- No swearing.
- Right.
317
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,497
- No unladylike behavior.
- Mm-hmm.
318
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,249
- No talking back.
319
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:09,626
Okay, I mean, when in doubt,
ask yourself, WWMD?
320
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:12,588
- What Would Mommy Do? I know!
- Yes, What Would Mommy Do?
321
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:13,839
- I understand.
- Don't talk back.
322
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,008
- I didn't. I talked with.
323
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,259
We said the same thing.
- Okay.
324
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,303
- Hey, everyone!
- Yes, Phil!
325
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:22,681
- I would officially
like to welcome you all
326
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,016
to "The Amazing Race."
327
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:27,853
[cheers and applause]
328
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,647
Now, since this is
our first celebrity race,
329
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,357
why don't we just
talk a little bit
330
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,193
about why you are taking part.
331
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:37,321
Drew and Jonathan, what
inspired you to be here today?
332
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:41,408
- Well, we love to compete,
so not if, but when we win--
333
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,327
- Very confident.
- Yeah.
334
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:44,661
- Yeah.
- Okay.
335
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:45,871
- We're gonna be
donating our prize money
336
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,539
to the Alzheimer's Association.
337
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,082
- We have a family member
who died from Alzheimer's.
338
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:51,501
So we're going on this
journey for the patients
339
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:54,379
and doctors who are
running the much harder race,
340
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,006
the one for a cure.
- Okay.
341
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:57,674
That's a great cause.
Great cause.
342
00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:59,843
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
343
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:01,720
- Now, JR and Richard.
344
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,389
- We are playing for the
United Negro College Fund,
345
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:07,017
who also support HBCUs
throughout the country.
346
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:09,019
- Yeah, and the million dollars
that we are going to win...
347
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:10,520
- Absolutely.
- Correct.
348
00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:12,564
- That's just a fraction
of the $26 million
349
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,733
that the United Negro
College Fund donates
350
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,068
every single year
to scholarships.
351
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,736
- Awesome.
Another great cause.
352
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,155
[applause]
353
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:23,033
Now, what about you,
Deborah and DJ Vance?
354
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:25,661
- I'm here to promote
my comeback show
355
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:30,082
at Madison Square Garden,
September 11th.
356
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,209
- Okay.
357
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:33,919
How about we get
this race started, everybody?
358
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,129
- Yeah!
[cheers and applause]
359
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:39,299
- Are you ready for your
life-changing adventure?
360
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,968
- Yes, we are.
- Let's do it!
361
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:42,469
- Let's go.
- Good luck.
362
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,638
Travel safe.
363
00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,265
Go!
364
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,101
[shouting]
365
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,770
- Go, go, go, go!
- Come on!
366
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,313
- Oh, this is gonna be
interesting.
367
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:55,440
[dramatic music]
368
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,401
- Go, go, go, go!
369
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,444
[shouting]
370
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,281
Grab it, grab it, grab it!
371
00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:07,411
- Okay, drive yourselves to LAX
and fly to Oaxaca, Mexico.
372
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,538
When you land, make your way
to Campo, Los Molinos.
373
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,373
You have $50 for
this leg of the race.
374
00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:13,375
- All right. Bag, bag, bag!
- Okay, okay. [sighs]
375
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,043
I'm sweating. I already stink.
376
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,795
- Oh, no, no, no, no, honey,
we have talked about
377
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,297
a razorback cut
on your shoulders!
378
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,966
- Stop it! Get in the car!
379
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:26,556
♪ ♪
380
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,809
- They'll be expecting us.
Get to--
381
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:31,894
- Right there!
- Right there, yeah.
382
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,315
- Your next flight to
Oaxaca, Mexico, please.
383
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,649
- Hola.
384
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,026
- We want the same flight
they're getting!
385
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,485
- Yes, please, please.
Hi, Deborah.
386
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,653
I'm like--I'm--
I love you so much.
387
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,363
I have to say...
- Aw, thank you.
388
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:45,157
- I went as you for Halloween
all of middle school.
389
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,783
Got the fucking shit
kicked out of me.
390
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,118
Worth it!
391
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:49,661
No, I'm obsessed with you.
392
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,831
- Jordan just told me
you do comedy too.
393
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,166
- He had to tell you that?
394
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,126
- Well, now that I know,
I'm obsessed.
395
00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:57,836
We should totally
work together,
396
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,005
the blonde comedy girls.
397
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,715
- You're a comedian?
- Yeah!
398
00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:03,175
Well, I can also talk
really, really, really fast.
399
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,509
And what else? Oh!
400
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,219
[whispering]
I can do ASMR.
401
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,679
- Do you feel that?
402
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,181
Do you feel it
on the back of your neck?
403
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,807
She's major.
She's generational talent.
404
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,684
- And this is online comedy?
405
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,853
- Well, I've also done Broadway
and the Hollywood Bowl.
406
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,481
- Yeah, she sold out
in like, under two seconds.
407
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,191
- Yeah, it was super fun.
408
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,942
So should we
make this official?
409
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:24,446
Alliance, allianciana?
- Allianciana!
410
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:27,199
- We could call ourselves
the Funny Honeys.
411
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,617
- I don't--I don't--
412
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:30,202
I don't think so, thanks.
413
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,329
- Wait, no, Mom. Mom, no, no.
414
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:33,955
Alliances are a huge part
of the race.
415
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:35,665
Yeah. Okay, so listen.
416
00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:37,376
What if there's a puzzle
and we can't figure it out?
417
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,169
Don't you want them to give us
a hint on their way out?
418
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:41,046
That happens literally
all the time.
419
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:42,255
- Absolutely not.
420
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,715
She says we're both comedians.
421
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:44,883
How dare she compare
herself to me?
422
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,551
- Oh, God.
423
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:47,886
- They will get last
and we will win this race.
424
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,346
Come on. Let's go.
425
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:52,891
[upbeat salsa music]
426
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,935
[excited chatter]
427
00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:56,770
- Get out of my way!
428
00:14:56,771 --> 00:15:00,190
Don't be afraid to shove!
Don't be afraid to shove!
429
00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:03,235
Move it, move it,
move it, move it!
430
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,778
- Okay, miss,
this is not YouTube.
431
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:06,738
Okay, I got it. I got it.
We gotta go. I got it.
432
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,074
[excited chatter]
433
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,076
No, no, no! Deborah!
434
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:12,869
Deborah!
- Get out of it.
435
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,246
Get in the goddamn cab!
- You're gonna steal the car?
436
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,414
You know what? Hang on.
437
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,665
- I'm sorry.
- I get it.
438
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:17,916
It's good TV. It's good TV.
439
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,084
What can I say?
440
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,419
- We need to go there.
441
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,920
Are you paying "atten-see-on?"
442
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,713
This is very important.
443
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:26,425
We are in a race
for 1 million "doleros."
444
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,218
Rapido! Rapido!
445
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:30,262
Let's go!
446
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:37,353
♪ ♪
447
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,279
- Oh, damn it.
448
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,614
- I was hoping they'd be
stranded and abducted.
449
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,950
Where are the kidnappers
from Sinaloa drug cartel
450
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,785
when you need them?
- Ooh, it's a Roadblock.
451
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,328
That means only one of us
can complete the challenge.
452
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:57,622
- Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
453
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:58,999
Who's the big cheese?
454
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,792
Oh, this one's addressed to me.
455
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,294
- Mom, every single contestant
is a celebrity, okay?
456
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,503
- I can't open it!
457
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:05,088
- What's wrong
with your finger?
458
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:07,632
- [speaking rapidly]
Okay, yeah!
459
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,759
- I understood every word
of that.
460
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,761
- Transport a wheel of
cheese down the hill
461
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,805
using a traditional
antique cheese rack.
462
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,640
Once there, you will
receive your next clue.
463
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,601
- Ha, okay.
- Okay, all right.
464
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:19,478
Okay, now this sounds complex.
I think I should do this one.
465
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:20,979
- No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
- You're not that coordinated.
466
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,314
- I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
467
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:23,648
Hopefully we can
complete this quick
468
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,066
and catch up
to the other teams.
469
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,318
- Wait, honey, honey,
your flyaways.
470
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,319
- Stop!
- Okay, all right.
471
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,570
Can she take that again?
472
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:35,411
♪ ♪
473
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:43,168
- [singing in Spanish]
474
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,837
♪ ♪
475
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,797
- What are you doing?
Are you tying it?
476
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:48,883
Just tie the cheese.
477
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:53,386
- Trish.
478
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:55,013
- That's it, DJ!
479
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,891
- I wanted to say before, um,
480
00:16:57,892 --> 00:16:59,976
I know you got canceled, smear
campaigned and everything.
481
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:02,020
I just wanted to say,
like, from cancel queen
482
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:05,524
to cancel queen, like, it hurts
the soul, helps the wallet.
483
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:06,858
So if I could give
you any advice,
484
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,193
you know--who am I to say?
485
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:11,571
I'm, you know, 19.
486
00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:13,323
- Okay, baby!
487
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:15,200
You got this!
488
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:18,286
- [singing in Spanish]
489
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,872
- That's it, girl.
Come on, honey.
490
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,207
- No, no.
491
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,793
- Plan every footstep
but don't hunch.
492
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,336
You're on camera.
493
00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:28,547
- Steady, steady.
494
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:31,300
- Trisha, where are you?
495
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:34,845
Oh, there she is.
You got this, Trish.
496
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:38,056
- Okay, okay.
497
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,975
- [yells]
498
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,309
- Oh, my God!
- [cackling]
499
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,645
- Oh, she's rolling.
500
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,230
- Oops.
501
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:50,777
♪ ♪
502
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:53,405
- [groans]
503
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,574
- Shit, shit, shit!
- Oh, my God!
504
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,742
- [groans] Oh, my ankle!
505
00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:58,952
- Honey, stop whimpering.
Stop whimpering.
506
00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:00,287
It shows weakness.
507
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,747
All right.
Sweetie, one more thing.
508
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,708
You're gonna have to get
back up and grab the cheese
509
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:06,710
and finish the challenge, okay?
510
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:09,462
- Fuck!
511
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:10,630
- She's good.
512
00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:12,090
She's good.
513
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:15,093
[suspenseful music]
514
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:22,226
♪ ♪
515
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:53,840
- Ava.
- Ooh! Oh, hey.
516
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:56,134
- What are you doing?
- Me? Just me?
517
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,094
- Yeah.
- Oh, nothing.
518
00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,971
Or I just came down
to get a midnight snack,
519
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,640
but then by the time
I got here,
520
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,141
I was not hungry anymore
'cause the house is so big
521
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,517
and it took me so long
to get down here.
522
00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:05,518
- Totally.
- What's up with you?
523
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:06,811
What are you doing up?
524
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,772
- Just walking the dogs.
- Okay.
525
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,649
At this hour? That's curious.
526
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,776
- Well, when Deborah's out of
town, they get super anxious
527
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:17,322
and just like, shit everywhere.
- [yawns theatrically]
528
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,157
Sorry. I'm so tired.
529
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,992
- Oh.
530
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,786
- I gotta go to bed.
531
00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:25,664
But yeah, it was
good to see you.
532
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,998
- Good night.
- I'm gonna go.
533
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,500
This is me.
I'm headed this way.
534
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,793
My room over here.
- I know. Good night.
535
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:30,835
- Okay, good night.
536
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:32,754
Good night, Damien.
537
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:34,172
- Okay.
538
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,965
[funky music]
539
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:38,510
Now I kind of want a snack.
540
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:43,181
- ♪ Oh, somebody
help me right now ♪
541
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:46,351
♪ Bad situation, baby ♪
542
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:50,438
♪ I'm in a bad situation ♪
543
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:52,357
- Ah! Ah.
544
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:55,568
- My God, honey, be careful.
- Okay.
545
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,070
This--that's the last clue.
546
00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:58,655
That means we're the last team.
- No!
547
00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:00,407
Oh, I have to beat
that idiot woman.
548
00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:02,367
- We can still make up time.
Okay? We can make up time.
549
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,911
Because in this race,
the game's not over
550
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,579
until you're standing
on that mat
551
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,206
and Phil says
you're eliminated.
552
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,374
- Right,
it's another Roadblock.
553
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,418
"Who's got milk?"
- Ooh.
554
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:13,169
- Okay now, sweetie,
why don't you sit this one out?
555
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:14,713
- What? What? No!
- Rest your ankle.
556
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,339
- But Mom, what if it's
a food challenge?
557
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,716
We both know you are not
gonna be caught dead
558
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,259
eating full-fat dairy
on camera,
559
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:20,885
so I will be doing it.
- Well, that's true,
560
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,053
but you didn't do so well
in the last Roadblock.
561
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:23,388
- I--I--I did fine!
562
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,014
Mom, this is my dream,
all right?
563
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,725
And I said I would be
doing the Roadblock,
564
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,810
so the rules say that
I have to do the Roadblock.
565
00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,228
Okay?
- All right.
566
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,396
Milk a goat...
- Milk a goat.
567
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:33,022
- Until you have two quarts.
568
00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:34,399
When you think you have
completed this task,
569
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,984
present your milk
to the goat farmer
570
00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:38,153
to receive your next clue.
- No problem.
571
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,696
- Okay, all right, this way.
572
00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:41,406
To the right, to the right,
to the right.
573
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:42,699
- Okay, there it is.
There it is.
574
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:43,825
You got it. You got it.
575
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:46,328
Just grab the goat.
576
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:50,915
Jesus, she really
is multi-talented.
577
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:52,876
- Aren't these goats so cute?
578
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,919
Let me get like,
six or seven when I get home.
579
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,130
- I don't like them.
They're demonic.
580
00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:58,882
Why are their eyes
so far apart?
581
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:00,467
- I'm done.
- Oh, we're done.
582
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:01,760
Yay.
583
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,261
Okay, good to see you.
584
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:06,431
- Hey, hey, don't, don't.
585
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:07,932
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
586
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,893
You gotta go over there.
587
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:11,978
Get your boobs easy for me.
- DJ?
588
00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:13,605
DJ, why don't you watch
the nice man do it
589
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:14,939
for a minute before you try?
590
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,733
- I don't need to
watch the man, okay?
591
00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:18,443
Don't you remember when
I had that past-life
592
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,069
regression therapy and I
found out I was a milkmaid
593
00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:22,071
who was secretly a princess?
I got this.
594
00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:23,114
- Sure.
595
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,616
- You have to hold it.
596
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:25,950
Okay, well,
she's being a bitch.
597
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,619
That's not--
that's not my fault.
598
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,287
- Pinch the top of the teat,
DJ, the top of the teat.
599
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:30,955
- Oh, Mom? Hey, Mom?
600
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,749
If you could shut up for
a second, that would help.
601
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:34,959
You're distracting me, okay?
The top of the teat?
602
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,419
What does that mean?
Which end is the top?
603
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:38,087
- Just--just--
just watch the guy.
604
00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:40,799
Watch the guy, and then do
it the way he's doing it!
605
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,550
- Don't yell at me.
Shut the fuck up.
606
00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:43,802
I don't need to watch the guy.
607
00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:44,928
- Deborah, it's a Roadblock.
608
00:21:44,929 --> 00:21:45,970
You cannot help your partner.
609
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:48,097
- I know, Elise!
610
00:21:48,098 --> 00:21:49,390
- Gotta relax into it.
611
00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:51,559
[milk splashes]
Oh.
612
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:52,977
Huh? Huh?
613
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:55,480
You gotta relax
into that past life.
614
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:57,148
- Oh, my God.
615
00:21:57,149 --> 00:22:00,151
[ethereal music]
616
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:02,238
♪ ♪
617
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:08,827
- Egads.
618
00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,620
[clattering]
619
00:22:10,621 --> 00:22:13,665
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- Calm down!
620
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:16,167
It doesn't work,
but I will hit you with it.
621
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,628
And don't you dare touch
anything in this shop,
622
00:22:18,629 --> 00:22:19,963
you harlot.
623
00:22:19,964 --> 00:22:21,506
I remember you.
624
00:22:21,507 --> 00:22:23,716
You threatened to smash
a Limoges vase
625
00:22:23,717 --> 00:22:25,969
to strong-arm me into selling
to Deborah Vance.
626
00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:27,178
- I did. I did do that.
627
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,013
I was in a desperate situation.
628
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:32,016
And I am once again
in a desperate situation,
629
00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:33,935
but I come in peace.
630
00:22:33,936 --> 00:22:36,813
I need your help,
just some information.
631
00:22:36,814 --> 00:22:38,690
- Ha! Go straight to hell.
632
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:39,858
I'd never help you.
633
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:42,987
- Oh, that's too bad to hear.
634
00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:48,533
Seems like you've got a lot
of inventory around here.
635
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:51,160
And I did happen to notice
some items on your website
636
00:22:51,161 --> 00:22:54,873
are heavily discounted.
637
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:57,125
Maybe times are tough?
638
00:22:57,126 --> 00:23:00,169
- Your generation
doesn't understand antiques,
639
00:23:00,170 --> 00:23:01,754
but it'll come around.
640
00:23:01,755 --> 00:23:03,923
It's always cyclical.
641
00:23:03,924 --> 00:23:06,092
- Well, if you wanna wait for
that to happen, be my guest.
642
00:23:06,093 --> 00:23:09,220
But what if I told you that I
could take half your inventory,
643
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:11,097
right now, at market value?
644
00:23:11,098 --> 00:23:12,682
- I wouldn't believe you.
645
00:23:12,683 --> 00:23:14,893
You're a lying piece of shit.
- [chuckles]
646
00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:16,227
That's wise.
647
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,730
I can't, but I know
someone who can.
648
00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:20,065
Marcus!
649
00:23:24,278 --> 00:23:25,862
- Tim.
650
00:23:25,863 --> 00:23:28,907
- Mr. Vaughan.
You're looking fit.
651
00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,575
- Thank you.
652
00:23:30,576 --> 00:23:33,036
I'm decorating and furnishing
an entire new casino
653
00:23:33,037 --> 00:23:34,871
with all vintage pieces.
654
00:23:34,872 --> 00:23:38,166
If you help my friend here,
I'm sure we can make a deal.
655
00:23:38,167 --> 00:23:39,584
- What's the style?
- Art deco.
656
00:23:39,585 --> 00:23:41,044
- Where?
- The old Paradiso.
657
00:23:41,045 --> 00:23:43,004
- Fabulous.
658
00:23:43,005 --> 00:23:47,801
- I need someone who can make
me an exact replica of these.
659
00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:54,265
- Why would you ask
an antiques dealer
660
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:55,934
where you could get a fake?
661
00:23:55,935 --> 00:24:00,605
- Well, I seem to remember
a certain psychotic bitch
662
00:24:00,606 --> 00:24:03,775
telling me that
you once fooled her
663
00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:05,568
with a counterfeit
Georges Jouve sconce.
664
00:24:05,569 --> 00:24:06,736
I remember
because she called it
665
00:24:06,737 --> 00:24:08,237
the worst betrayal of her life.
666
00:24:08,238 --> 00:24:09,656
Mind you, her husband
porked her sister.
667
00:24:09,657 --> 00:24:11,449
- [laughs]
668
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:13,785
- So I need to know
who your forger is,
669
00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:15,496
because he's obviously
very good.
670
00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:20,500
- Well, lucky for you,
671
00:24:20,501 --> 00:24:23,169
you're looking at him.
672
00:24:23,170 --> 00:24:25,004
- God, I love this town.
673
00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:26,631
[upbeat music]
674
00:24:26,632 --> 00:24:28,299
- Can I use your bathroom?
675
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:30,301
- No.
676
00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:31,803
- I don't see anything.
677
00:24:31,804 --> 00:24:33,763
- Well, are you looking?
678
00:24:33,764 --> 00:24:36,099
- Of course I'm looking.
- I don't know, Mom.
679
00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:37,642
- You think I'd still
be running if I saw it?
680
00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:39,143
- Okay, don't be sassy.
- Wait, down there.
681
00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:40,311
It's down there.
Look, look, look.
682
00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:42,438
- There it is, God, finally.
683
00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:43,648
Come on.
684
00:24:43,649 --> 00:24:45,192
Okay, ready?
685
00:24:47,027 --> 00:24:48,444
- This will be it.
This will be the one.
686
00:24:48,445 --> 00:24:50,113
This will be the one.
- This is it.
687
00:24:50,114 --> 00:24:51,990
- This will be the one, okay.
- Okay, Detour.
688
00:24:51,991 --> 00:24:53,825
All right, break or dance?
689
00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:55,994
Break--enter a room filled
with 10,000 Mexican ceramics
690
00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:57,245
and smash them
on the floor until you
691
00:24:57,246 --> 00:24:58,955
find one containing a clue.
692
00:24:58,956 --> 00:25:01,249
Dance--put traditional
clown makeup on each other
693
00:25:01,250 --> 00:25:03,251
then learn a clowning dance
from a demonstration.
694
00:25:03,252 --> 00:25:04,711
Once you successfully
complete the dance
695
00:25:04,712 --> 00:25:06,004
to your judge's satisfaction,
696
00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:07,213
you will receive
your next clue.
697
00:25:07,214 --> 00:25:08,673
Okay. Okay.
- Okay.
698
00:25:08,674 --> 00:25:10,049
- I think we should
do the pottery.
699
00:25:10,050 --> 00:25:11,968
- What?
700
00:25:11,969 --> 00:25:13,511
- I mean, that's--it's simple,
something any idiot can do.
701
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:14,679
- Why are you gesturing at me?
- I'm not.
702
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,055
I'm gesticulating. I'm Italian.
703
00:25:16,056 --> 00:25:17,682
- You're not Italian. No.
704
00:25:17,683 --> 00:25:19,058
Mom, that'll take forever.
705
00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:20,351
We are already coming in last.
- I know.
706
00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:21,894
- We've got to make up time.
707
00:25:21,895 --> 00:25:23,187
If we get the clown dance
on the first try,
708
00:25:23,188 --> 00:25:24,647
we can pass somebody.
709
00:25:24,648 --> 00:25:26,024
- We're not gonna
get it on the first try.
710
00:25:26,025 --> 00:25:27,859
- Why? Let's just try.
- We're just not.
711
00:25:27,860 --> 00:25:29,235
We're--look, look at--
712
00:25:29,236 --> 00:25:30,695
I'm not gonna
put on clown makeup
713
00:25:30,696 --> 00:25:32,488
and do a silly little
dance with you.
714
00:25:32,489 --> 00:25:36,868
I--I will look stupid.
715
00:25:36,869 --> 00:25:39,203
- No, you're worried that
I'm gonna look stupid.
716
00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:41,873
You think I'm going to
embarrass myself, don't you?
717
00:25:41,874 --> 00:25:43,541
- Well, yes, I do. I do.
718
00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:45,376
I don't think you're gonna
learn a clowning routine.
719
00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:47,712
And I don't think that you
were a milkmaid in a past life.
720
00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:49,297
Okay?
- A princess...
721
00:25:49,298 --> 00:25:52,508
- There it is.
- Who chose to be a milkmaid.
722
00:25:52,509 --> 00:25:53,718
- What about your leg?
723
00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:54,844
You cannot dance
with that ankle.
724
00:25:54,845 --> 00:25:56,721
- What are you talking about?
725
00:25:56,722 --> 00:25:58,556
I just got that steroid shot
from the Mexican street doctor.
726
00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:01,517
My tits itch, but my ankle
is feeling great.
727
00:26:01,518 --> 00:26:03,311
Do you want a chance
at beating that girl?
728
00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:04,896
- Yes. Yes.
- Do you?
729
00:26:04,897 --> 00:26:05,980
Well, we're not gonna
do it standing around
730
00:26:05,981 --> 00:26:07,565
smashing pottery for hours.
731
00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:09,067
- Yeah, well,
think about Grandma's teapot.
732
00:26:09,068 --> 00:26:10,401
You were pretty good
about breaking that.
733
00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:12,154
- Shut up about
Grandma's teapot.
734
00:26:14,615 --> 00:26:15,907
Let's go.
735
00:26:15,908 --> 00:26:17,575
[funky music]
736
00:26:17,576 --> 00:26:19,118
- ♪ I like it, I like it ♪
737
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:21,454
♪ I like it like that ♪
738
00:26:21,455 --> 00:26:23,289
- And Charlie, and Charlie,
739
00:26:23,290 --> 00:26:25,583
and Chaplin, and Chaplin,
and body roll.
740
00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:27,585
- You know how.
- Well, I don't know.
741
00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:29,420
Hold on a second.
You gotta be a clown.
742
00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:31,631
Do you look--how's this?
743
00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:33,049
- Oh, finally.
744
00:26:33,050 --> 00:26:34,550
Took us like,
eight tries, y'all.
745
00:26:34,551 --> 00:26:35,760
- It's hard. Good luck.
746
00:26:35,761 --> 00:26:37,428
- Roll, down, up.
747
00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:38,930
- Hi, we're so fun and nice.
Let's go. We're done.
748
00:26:38,931 --> 00:26:40,723
- Okay, let's get it.
That was great.
749
00:26:40,724 --> 00:26:41,933
- That was great.
- Thank you, señor.
750
00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:43,601
- What? That was so fast.
Come on.
751
00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:46,229
We gotta--you, we'll take you.
Just do it.
752
00:26:46,230 --> 00:26:47,563
- Oh, God. This is--
753
00:26:47,564 --> 00:26:52,527
- Uno, dos, tes,
boom, ta, ocho.
754
00:26:52,528 --> 00:26:54,403
- Okay.
- We got the clue!
755
00:26:54,404 --> 00:26:55,696
We got the clue!
756
00:26:55,697 --> 00:26:57,448
Oh, that was so much fun.
- What?
757
00:26:57,449 --> 00:26:59,117
- The judges were like,
getting emotional watching us.
758
00:26:59,118 --> 00:27:01,410
It was really sweet to see.
- Done already?
759
00:27:01,411 --> 00:27:03,246
Mom, we gotta go. We gotta go.
- What?
760
00:27:03,247 --> 00:27:04,747
- We gotta go.
- We don't know the dance.
761
00:27:04,748 --> 00:27:06,374
- Well, we just have to try.
762
00:27:06,375 --> 00:27:07,792
- We can do it one more time.
- Listen to me.
763
00:27:07,793 --> 00:27:09,585
We are in last place.
- I know that.
764
00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:11,003
- If we can get this on
the first try, we have a shot.
765
00:27:11,004 --> 00:27:13,464
Mom, look at me.
Let me try, please.
766
00:27:13,465 --> 00:27:15,300
Let's go, go, go, go!
767
00:27:17,678 --> 00:27:22,306
[bouncy music playing]
768
00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:23,975
[buzzer blares]
769
00:27:23,976 --> 00:27:25,309
- Sorry, I--I didn't throw it.
I didn't throw it.
770
00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:26,644
That's my bad. That's my bad.
771
00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:28,020
- All right.
- Go again. Go again.
772
00:27:28,021 --> 00:27:30,940
[bouncy music playing]
773
00:27:30,941 --> 00:27:32,358
[buzzer blares]
774
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,485
It's the--I um,
I did the wrong foot.
775
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:36,028
We're good, yeah. Yeah.
- You got it?
776
00:27:36,029 --> 00:27:37,488
You know where you went wrong?
- Yeah, yeah.
777
00:27:37,489 --> 00:27:38,615
- Okay.
778
00:27:40,742 --> 00:27:42,285
[buzzer blares]
779
00:27:42,286 --> 00:27:43,953
- Why? I kicked it on four!
780
00:27:43,954 --> 00:27:45,329
I kicked it on four.
781
00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:46,330
- She kicked it on four.
That--I saw it.
782
00:27:46,331 --> 00:27:47,832
- Start over. Start over.
783
00:27:47,833 --> 00:27:49,209
Go, quick.
784
00:27:51,044 --> 00:27:52,587
[buzzer blares]
785
00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:54,005
- Can I help?
- I've--I've got it.
786
00:27:54,006 --> 00:27:55,464
I've got it.
787
00:27:55,465 --> 00:27:56,632
[buzzer blares]
788
00:27:56,633 --> 00:27:58,634
Stop!
789
00:27:58,635 --> 00:27:59,970
[buzzer blares]
790
00:28:02,556 --> 00:28:03,681
[buzzer blares]
791
00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:05,349
Stop!
792
00:28:05,350 --> 00:28:06,934
No! Oh, shit. Fuck.
[buzzer blares]
793
00:28:06,935 --> 00:28:09,020
- Oh!
[buzzer blares]
794
00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:10,271
- Come on!
795
00:28:10,272 --> 00:28:13,317
[buzzer blaring]
796
00:28:18,071 --> 00:28:20,406
- [cries]
- It's okay.
797
00:28:20,407 --> 00:28:23,409
[soft upbeat music]
798
00:28:23,410 --> 00:28:28,873
♪ ♪
799
00:28:28,874 --> 00:28:33,044
[bouncy music playing]
800
00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:34,545
[buzzer blares]
- What?
801
00:28:34,546 --> 00:28:37,006
No, I really thought
I got it that time.
802
00:28:37,007 --> 00:28:38,216
Felt good to me.
- What was it?
803
00:28:38,217 --> 00:28:39,508
- Deborah and DJ?
804
00:28:39,509 --> 00:28:40,843
- No, Phil, no.
805
00:28:40,844 --> 00:28:42,136
No, no, no, no! Not Phil.
806
00:28:42,137 --> 00:28:43,387
No Phil, come on.
- Oh, oh, honey.
807
00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:45,348
- No, no. No.
- Shh, shh.
808
00:28:45,349 --> 00:28:47,808
- Come on. Oh, come on.
809
00:28:47,809 --> 00:28:49,560
- Obviously,
I'm here for a reason.
810
00:28:49,561 --> 00:28:51,145
- Ah!
811
00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:52,730
- I know it's been
a hard couple of days,
812
00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:54,523
and DJ, you've had your injury,
813
00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:56,150
and then you've been
struggling with this
814
00:28:56,151 --> 00:28:57,902
clown challenge and--
- I mean, a little bit.
815
00:28:57,903 --> 00:29:00,738
- You've been here four hours.
- I know.
816
00:29:00,739 --> 00:29:02,490
- And all the other teams have
checked in to the Pit Stop.
817
00:29:02,491 --> 00:29:04,033
- Oh.
818
00:29:04,034 --> 00:29:05,826
- Deborah and DJ,
I'm really sorry to tell you
819
00:29:05,827 --> 00:29:08,956
that you've been
eliminated from the race.
820
00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:13,626
- We didn't do it.
821
00:29:13,627 --> 00:29:15,753
But you know what
we didn't do, actually, Phil?
822
00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:17,088
We didn't quit.
823
00:29:17,089 --> 00:29:18,589
- So you can hold
your head high.
824
00:29:18,590 --> 00:29:19,757
- Yeah.
- You gave it everything.
825
00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:21,259
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah?
826
00:29:21,260 --> 00:29:22,635
I know you're upset,
but are you pleased
827
00:29:22,636 --> 00:29:24,720
you came on "The Amazing Race"?
828
00:29:24,721 --> 00:29:27,765
- It's the best thing that I've
ever done in my whole life.
829
00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:29,267
Honestly, Phil,
this race, it challenges
830
00:29:29,268 --> 00:29:31,560
every single part of you.
831
00:29:31,561 --> 00:29:33,104
That's what I wanted.
832
00:29:33,105 --> 00:29:35,773
You know, I got to milk a goat.
- Yeah.
833
00:29:35,774 --> 00:29:39,777
- I got to see two
different cities in Mexico.
834
00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:41,737
But most of all, I--
835
00:29:41,738 --> 00:29:45,283
I got to spend more time with
my mom than I have in years.
836
00:29:45,284 --> 00:29:47,868
And that's really all I wanted.
837
00:29:47,869 --> 00:29:49,954
- You feel like you're
really bonded with your mom?
838
00:29:49,955 --> 00:29:51,789
- Yeah.
839
00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:53,874
It was beautiful.
840
00:29:53,875 --> 00:29:55,584
- You feel
the same way, Deborah?
841
00:29:55,585 --> 00:29:58,963
- Yeah, same.
842
00:29:58,964 --> 00:30:01,632
- Um, Phil, can I ask a favor?
843
00:30:01,633 --> 00:30:03,467
- I can't get you
back on the race.
844
00:30:03,468 --> 00:30:05,469
- No, no, no, I understand.
We're eliminated.
845
00:30:05,470 --> 00:30:08,389
But if I could just take
one more crack at this dance,
846
00:30:08,390 --> 00:30:09,807
I know I can nail it.
- Are you serious?
847
00:30:09,808 --> 00:30:10,975
- I'm serious.
848
00:30:10,976 --> 00:30:12,810
We got so close this last time.
849
00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:14,562
I don't know if you were
watching, but we got so close,
850
00:30:14,563 --> 00:30:15,771
didn't we?
- We did. We did.
851
00:30:15,772 --> 00:30:17,148
- Yeah, absolutely.
852
00:30:17,149 --> 00:30:19,692
I mean, give it another shot.
853
00:30:19,693 --> 00:30:23,279
- Actually, Mom,
this one's for us.
854
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,197
Okay?
- Okay.
855
00:30:25,198 --> 00:30:26,949
Okay, we can do this.
We can get through it.
856
00:30:26,950 --> 00:30:28,577
- We could do this.
857
00:30:31,705 --> 00:30:33,582
Okay.
858
00:30:36,877 --> 00:30:38,169
[bouncy music playing]
859
00:30:38,170 --> 00:30:39,337
Oh, fuck me.
[buzzer blares]
860
00:30:39,338 --> 00:30:40,629
Fuck! Shit.
861
00:30:40,630 --> 00:30:41,964
Just forget it. Just fuck it.
862
00:30:41,965 --> 00:30:43,341
You know what?
I don't even care.
863
00:30:43,342 --> 00:30:46,927
I never cared.
I don't care, Phil.
864
00:30:46,928 --> 00:30:48,846
Stop fucking filming me.
It's done.
865
00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:50,681
It's over.
866
00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:51,933
No!
867
00:30:57,230 --> 00:30:59,066
[doorbell rings]
868
00:31:01,068 --> 00:31:03,527
- [gasps] Aw.
869
00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:04,862
- Yeah.
870
00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:07,698
- Oh, my.
871
00:31:07,699 --> 00:31:11,494
Oh, they're just
how I remember them.
872
00:31:11,495 --> 00:31:13,454
- Good.
873
00:31:13,455 --> 00:31:15,706
- I can feel her.
874
00:31:15,707 --> 00:31:17,666
I can feel Mommy
in the pepper shaker.
875
00:31:17,667 --> 00:31:20,211
- Oh, she's in there.
876
00:31:20,212 --> 00:31:21,712
- Oh, thank you, Ava.
877
00:31:21,713 --> 00:31:24,173
Thank you so much.
878
00:31:24,174 --> 00:31:26,217
But how did you convince her?
879
00:31:26,218 --> 00:31:28,719
- She doesn't know.
880
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,679
I stole them.
881
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:31,931
- I don't know what
Deborah's gonna do
882
00:31:31,932 --> 00:31:33,349
when she realizes
you stole them.
883
00:31:33,350 --> 00:31:35,768
- I don't wanna know.
884
00:31:35,769 --> 00:31:39,605
Yeah, physical probably.
885
00:31:39,606 --> 00:31:42,566
- You must really,
really want those rights.
886
00:31:42,567 --> 00:31:46,070
- Yeah, yeah I do.
887
00:31:46,071 --> 00:31:47,405
So, do we have a deal?
888
00:31:47,406 --> 00:31:50,157
- Yes, yes, you've earned them.
889
00:31:50,158 --> 00:31:52,076
[soft music]
890
00:31:52,077 --> 00:31:55,413
I'll have my lawyer
call Jimmy in the morning.
891
00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:58,499
Welcome home, guys.
892
00:31:58,500 --> 00:32:00,209
Aw.
893
00:32:00,210 --> 00:32:06,590
♪ ♪
894
00:32:06,591 --> 00:32:09,093
- [speaking Spanish]
895
00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:10,719
Now boarding group one.
896
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,346
- Oh!
897
00:32:12,347 --> 00:32:15,558
Oh, I remember boarding groups.
898
00:32:15,559 --> 00:32:16,934
Fun.
899
00:32:16,935 --> 00:32:18,686
- They never let
Aidan and me pre-board
900
00:32:18,687 --> 00:32:21,647
'cause they don't count MMA
as military service.
901
00:32:21,648 --> 00:32:22,899
Fucking bullshit.
902
00:32:25,819 --> 00:32:27,319
I'm sorry we lost.
903
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,321
It's my fault.
904
00:32:29,322 --> 00:32:31,240
If you had done the Roadblocks,
we would have won.
905
00:32:31,241 --> 00:32:33,826
No, you're kind of
good at everything.
906
00:32:33,827 --> 00:32:35,119
And it's super annoying.
907
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,246
- No, that's not true.
908
00:32:37,247 --> 00:32:41,626
I've never been good
at failing and moving on.
909
00:32:44,004 --> 00:32:45,671
I'm proud of you.
910
00:32:45,672 --> 00:32:48,466
No, you let things
roll off your back.
911
00:32:48,467 --> 00:32:51,093
During this race, you just
threw yourself into everything.
912
00:32:51,094 --> 00:32:52,720
You didn't even care
how you looked.
913
00:32:52,721 --> 00:32:54,138
- Oh, thanks so much, Mom.
914
00:32:54,139 --> 00:32:56,640
- No, no, that's good.
915
00:32:56,641 --> 00:32:57,726
That's good.
916
00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:02,605
You're tougher than me.
917
00:33:02,606 --> 00:33:04,607
You are.
918
00:33:04,608 --> 00:33:08,652
I mean, I've always cared too
much about what people think,
919
00:33:08,653 --> 00:33:10,988
'cause I know how hard it is
when people make fun of you
920
00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:15,743
or call you crazy
921
00:33:15,744 --> 00:33:17,411
like they're doing to me
right now.
922
00:33:17,412 --> 00:33:18,538
Yes.
923
00:33:21,082 --> 00:33:23,709
I think that's why I tried
to protect you from all that
924
00:33:23,710 --> 00:33:27,213
and why I didn't let you
try trapeze or, you know,
925
00:33:27,214 --> 00:33:30,841
release your reggae album or--
926
00:33:30,842 --> 00:33:32,551
- Go on QVC?
927
00:33:32,552 --> 00:33:35,221
- Yes.
928
00:33:35,222 --> 00:33:38,349
I over-corrected.
929
00:33:38,350 --> 00:33:40,059
I didn't let you try enough,
930
00:33:40,060 --> 00:33:42,395
'cause you could have
handled it.
931
00:33:47,150 --> 00:33:50,361
- You're right--you do care
what the world thinks.
932
00:33:50,362 --> 00:33:54,198
But I've only ever cared
what one person thinks.
933
00:33:54,199 --> 00:33:56,450
- Who?
934
00:33:56,451 --> 00:33:57,701
- Phil.
935
00:33:57,702 --> 00:34:00,955
[laughter]
936
00:34:00,956 --> 00:34:03,874
[rock music]
937
00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:06,210
♪ ♪
938
00:34:06,211 --> 00:34:08,128
- No, no, no, no, no.
Tell me again.
939
00:34:08,129 --> 00:34:09,380
Tell me again.
940
00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:11,465
She really said,
I can feel Mommy?
941
00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:13,467
[laughs]
- Stop laughing.
942
00:34:13,468 --> 00:34:14,885
I feel really bad.
943
00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:16,512
She cried.
944
00:34:16,513 --> 00:34:18,722
- This is the best.
945
00:34:18,723 --> 00:34:21,183
- It's not funny.
- Oh, my God.
946
00:34:21,184 --> 00:34:23,477
Well, you are an evil bitch.
947
00:34:23,478 --> 00:34:25,354
I've never felt closer to you.
948
00:34:25,355 --> 00:34:27,773
[laughter]
949
00:34:27,774 --> 00:34:29,567
- Well, let's just hope
I make you proud
950
00:34:29,568 --> 00:34:32,361
and make a good show
so it was worth it.
951
00:34:32,362 --> 00:34:34,238
- Even if you don't,
952
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,115
recently, I have warmed up
to the value
953
00:34:36,116 --> 00:34:39,285
of falling flat on your face
and embarrassing yourself.
954
00:34:39,286 --> 00:34:41,245
- Okay, maybe just say
you're gonna do great.
955
00:34:41,246 --> 00:34:42,746
- Oh, you're gonna do great.
956
00:34:42,747 --> 00:34:44,456
- Thank you.
957
00:34:44,457 --> 00:34:45,916
God.
958
00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:49,795
- And live in five, four,
three, two, one.
959
00:34:49,796 --> 00:34:51,589
- Welcome back, folks.
960
00:34:51,590 --> 00:34:54,592
Okay, I am thrilled
because we have
961
00:34:54,593 --> 00:34:58,387
an amazing new designer here
with us today.
962
00:34:58,388 --> 00:35:02,725
Please welcome
Deborah Junior Vance!
963
00:35:02,726 --> 00:35:07,104
- Okay, how many times has your
baby reached for your earrings
964
00:35:07,105 --> 00:35:09,940
and almost pulled your entire
ear clean off your skull?
965
00:35:09,941 --> 00:35:11,400
- So many.
966
00:35:11,401 --> 00:35:12,776
- Well, it's never
gonna happen again.
967
00:35:12,777 --> 00:35:14,403
- Thank goodness.
- Do you wanna know why?
968
00:35:14,404 --> 00:35:16,113
Detachables.
969
00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:18,032
- Oh, my God.
- Because they detach.
970
00:35:18,033 --> 00:35:19,783
- Ah, look at them.
971
00:35:19,784 --> 00:35:21,452
- That's right,
no more bloody lobes.
972
00:35:21,453 --> 00:35:23,203
Moms get it.
973
00:35:23,204 --> 00:35:24,580
- Amazing.
974
00:35:24,581 --> 00:35:26,206
Wow, these are flying
off the shelves.
975
00:35:26,207 --> 00:35:27,583
They are going fast.
976
00:35:27,584 --> 00:35:29,084
So if you want
your own DJewelry,
977
00:35:29,085 --> 00:35:30,794
you better call in now.
978
00:35:30,795 --> 00:35:33,756
Oh, and I think we're getting
a call right now...
979
00:35:33,757 --> 00:35:36,008
- ♪ Oh, because ♪
980
00:35:36,009 --> 00:35:39,303
♪ You are the best thing ♪
981
00:35:39,304 --> 00:35:41,639
- ♪ You're the best thing ♪
982
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:45,142
- ♪ You are the best thing ♪
983
00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:47,519
- ♪ You're the best thing,
baby ♪
984
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,689
- ♪ You are the best thing ♪
985
00:35:50,690 --> 00:35:53,192
- ♪ You're the best thing,
ooh ♪
986
00:35:53,193 --> 00:35:55,986
- ♪ That ever happened to me ♪
987
00:35:55,987 --> 00:35:58,739
[Ray LaMontagne's
"You Are the Best Thing"]
988
00:35:58,740 --> 00:36:02,159
♪ Baby ♪
989
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:06,997
♪ Come a long way, baby ♪
990
00:36:06,998 --> 00:36:11,126
♪ You know I hope and I pray
that you believe me ♪
991
00:36:11,127 --> 00:36:13,003
♪ ♪
992
00:36:13,004 --> 00:36:19,093
♪ When I say this love
will never fade away ♪
993
00:36:19,094 --> 00:36:21,136
♪ Oh, because ♪
994
00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:24,431
♪ You are the best thing ♪
995
00:36:24,432 --> 00:36:26,767
- ♪ You're the best thing ♪
996
00:36:26,768 --> 00:36:30,229
- ♪ You are the best thing ♪
997
00:36:30,230 --> 00:36:32,648
- ♪ You're the best thing,
baby ♪
998
00:36:32,649 --> 00:36:35,818
- ♪ You are the best thing ♪
999
00:36:35,819 --> 00:36:38,320
- ♪ You're the best thing,
ooh ♪
1000
00:36:38,321 --> 00:36:40,989
- ♪ That ever happened to me ♪
1001
00:36:40,990 --> 00:36:44,535
♪ ♪
1002
00:36:44,536 --> 00:36:47,830
♪ Both of us
have known love before ♪
1003
00:36:47,831 --> 00:36:50,082
♪ ♪
1004
00:36:50,083 --> 00:36:53,043
♪ To come on up promising
like the spring ♪
1005
00:36:53,044 --> 00:36:55,255
♪ To walk on out the door... ♪